Monday, April 14, 2008

How to Be Popular

The meek may inherit the earth, but high school and college will still belong to the popular people. Want to be one of them? You won't have to change who you are or what you care about, but you may have to challenge yourself in ways you never considered before. If you decide you’d like to jumpstart your social life, here are some steps to help you reach your goal.

[edit] Steps

  1. Evaluate the reasons why you want to become popular. Do you just want to fit in? All need to do--are those worth the benefits of being popular? Do you think they are the group you would like to join?
  2. Be comfortable with yourself and present a confident image. It will be much easier to have others see that and want to be around you. Once you are comfortable with being alone and happy with who you are, it’ll be easier to make friends.
  3. Create your style. While many of the popular kids may wear the same kinds of clothes and have the same haircuts, this does not mean that simply changing these things about yourself will make you popular. Don’t go overboard with style changes, as it will only make you look like you are trying too hard. Instead, look at your hair and clothing as a chance to present yourself in the best light. Maybe a new, shorter haircut will help you to show off your eyes and smile, or that fashionable pair of jeans is just the confidence booster you’ve been looking for. A change can be a powerful thing. Tailor the latest trends to your own ideas, and put forth an image that makes you feel good. Remember that some of the most fashionable people are the ones who are confident enough to take chances and be different.
  4. Take pride in your appearance and stay in shape. If you’re trying to attract people to you, which is not as hard as it may seem, being clean is a definite plus. Shower and brush your teeth every day, as well as using deodorant and cleaning your ears, etc. Maintain yourself as someone people won’t mind being around. People don't like smelly people. Washing your face regularly is also recommended, as it will be important to put your best face forward, and acne can definitely bring down your confidence level. For girls, make-up can be an option. If the people you want to hang around are fat, you should eat a lot of fatty foods to gain weight and gain their trust. Then you can strike the killing blow while they least expect it.
    • Smile Always have a smile on your face. Don't make yourself look like a lunatic, just simply have a smile on your face, this encourages others to want to be your friend and smile back.
  5. Get involved. One of the easiest ways to meet people is to participate in school activities, such as athletic teams, community service projects, or artistic groups. Being part of a group automatically fosters some formation of relationships, and can give you the added confidence you need to feel popular. Don’t be worried about whether a certain group is cool or not; choose something that fits your interests and talents, and eventually people will recognize you for the good qualities you have. You don’t need to be a cheerleader or football player to be popular.
  6. Don't be shy. Show your talents. Especially, show the ones people would never imagine you have. This will help you achieve success, popularity and more people might take an interest in you. If a large group of people feel you will become famous for your talent, this is an amazingly fast way to increase popularity and especially recognition in your school. But don't boast! Stay humble. Bragging a little is alright, but make sure you're not serious, make it a joke or something.
  7. Be assertive and outgoing. Friends aren’t just going to throw themselves at you, especially not if you’ve had a not-so-popular image for years. Even if you are not naturally gregarious, you’re going to have to come out of your shell a little bit and put yourself in social situations. Don’t be afraid to go and sit at a new table at lunch, or strike up a conversation with the person next to you in study hall.
  8. Change that attitude Maybe you're not very popular because of your attitude. Being positive always helps, but there are some other, smaller things, such as your remarks or reactions, make them as smooth or as enjoyable as you can. Don't be judgmental.
  9. Start talking. Talk to at least 3 new people every day. Even if it's just, 'Hey, I don't get this math problem, do you?', it will still help, and remember to always smile when talking to them. When you strike up a conversation, don't always be wondering what the other person is thinking, then something negative will get across. While you maybe thinking "Wow, I sound so geeky," your face could be saying "I don't want to talk to this freak." Avoid thinking about whether or not you’re "cool" enough to talk to a certain person; rather, let that person see why they should want to talk to you.
  10. Share something about yourself - it doesn't have to be big, just funny incidents or mishaps that will make people laugh (and not totally creep them out). Believe it or not, laughter often makes people feel more comfortable around you - making it more likely that they'll recall you as someone they'll like to hang around with.
  11. Develop relationships. As you begin to meet people, don’t just treat them as items on a checklist. Find out what they like to do, their interests, and learn about them as people. Give out as many or even more compliments than you receive. The reality is that people aren't really that interested in you--they're interested in themselves. So don't try to act interesting to get other people's attention, act interested in them! You’re trying to make friends, not just be known.
  12. Mingle. Be sure to keep in touch with your old friends—you don’t want them to think you’ve forgotten about them just because you’re making new ones. Don't just hang out with one group all the time, either. Try and alternate a fair amount between the groups, so that people get the impression that you can get along with everyone. Don’t exclude anyone. Enemies and popularity don't mix.
  13. Jump in the pool. Or do something else unexpected. What this means is, sometimes to get yourself noticed, you may have to put yourself out there in ways you hadn’t considered. Maybe this means going up and talking to the girl no one else will, or dancing crazily at the next formal. Be careful you don't become an attention grabber, nobody likes a show off. Let yourself go. You’ll be surprised how good it can make you feel, and how people respect a person who goes against the crowd and does what s/he wants. Make sure you don’t just become a ‘novelty’ who amuses others with his/her antics, however.
  14. Don’t think too hard. Being popular is as much a state of mind as anything else. If people see you trying too hard to be popular, they will usually dismiss your efforts. Popularity, in the end, is only partly about how others see you. Your reputation may fade and change over time, and the only thing you can/should do about that is stay absolutely true to yourself. Use these tips for your personal benefit (not in a greedy, manipulative way.) Just continue to believe in yourself, and it won’t be long before others follow your lead.
  15. But always remember, being popular is just a state of mind. Memories of high school are way more important because you don't want to regret your actions when you're much older than now, so always make sure to have lots of fun with/ without the so called "popular people".
  16. But over all, the most important thing to remember is to be yourself. Because even if you achieve your popularity goals being someone that your not, you can't just snap back to who you were before and expect them to treat you as the same person, and if you have to keep being someone that you're not, then you will not be happy, and that was the point of getting popular in the first place right? To get happier. And don't change. Popularity can change everyone so don't let it.Remember to choose your friends wisely

[edit] Tips

  • Dont think the popular people are something higher, or above you, this wil make you shy around them, treat them as normal people, and it will be much easier
  • Be a good listener. Really listen to what people are saying and be actively engaged until you can excuse yourself. Don't scan the room looking for someone more interesting to talk to.
  • Be smart. When you are not doing just small talk, try to understand your conversational partner and make matching statements.
  • Be positive and optimistic. Try to always see the glass as half full. Whiners, complainers and negative people are no fun to be around, at least not for very long.
  • Smile often. This goes hand in hand with being positive and optimistic. Pleasant people are a joy to be around. People who always walk around looking like their dog just died aren't. Smiling warms people up to you.
  • If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. That might sound like something you would hear from your grandmother, but it is good advice. Even if people around you are denigrating someone, avoid being drawn into negative gossip. If pressed for an opinion just say something neutral like "Well she has always been nice to me", or "Perhaps he has personal issues that we can't understand".
  • It helps a lot if you have a friend or two that is already popular.
  • Be yourself. You'll make more friends that way.
  • You can not control how people will react to you regardless of how much time you spend on your appearance. If you are basing your opinion of yourself on being popular, then there is the chance you can end up quite sad. Sometimes the really popular people are seldom happy because they criticize themselves too much or they treat others poorly because they have overgrown egos.
  • Remember you have to love yourself before any can love you.
  • Make a lot of new friends and hang out with them often.
  • Hang out with some of the popular kids as well as the ones who are not popular.

[edit] Warnings

  • Realize that your popularity will not get you through college, and may fade very quickly after high school. Popularity as a teen is no guarantee of popularity as an adult. Likewise, unpopular teens often grow up into popular adults. Many times in life the people you call nerds in school you'll call boss at work.
  • Also, do not drop out of courses that you want to take just because you fear that people will not want to be friends with you. That could cut you off from a career that you may enjoy, and isn't helpful in the long run. If people leave you because of the courses you take, they aren't our friends and never were.
  • Don't try to limit or change your feelings or personality just to be popular. If you find that to be popular, you have to act and think like other popular people, don't try to be popular. One should not let themselves become someone else simply to conform.
  • Don’t do dangerous/stupid things in order to become popular, such as smoking, drinking, drunk driving, or illegal drugs. You’ll only be putting yourself at risk, and none of these things will make people think you are cool. Though you might temporarily appear cool to people who have problem-laden lives, you might be in danger. Think more about the big picture rather than that specific moment.
  • Don't let people use you. Sometimes popular kids accept a new person just because they are rich and generous, smart and nice enough to help them or easy pickings and can be joked at. If you let them tread over you, then you'll never be truly part of the group.
  • Do realize that being popular has its downsides. If you wish to be left alone, stick with being part of smaller groups, but who knows? Maybe you will find the far reaches of popularity your kind of thing.
  • If the popular people at your school do the wrong things, such as smoking, alcohol, or drugs, you'll be better off to not be popular at all. You cannot change these people, and they'll resent you if you try. You'll only make yourself miserable by getting yourself into a vicious cycle, and you can get in deep trouble just for hanging around them.
  • Popularity can really change a person on the inside, so don't let it change you!

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