Tuesday, April 15, 2008

How to Fall out of Love With Someone

Are you the victim of cruel fate? Does the "perfect" mate think you are just "cool?" Although it might feel like you'll never find somebody better, there are some ways you can move on...

[edit] Steps

  1. Realize you are worth someone who loves you. You are worth someone who thinks you are beautiful and awesome. It's always flattering to have an admirer, but you deserve better than to just be somebody's ego boost.
  2. See their faults. Nobody is perfect. The longer you hold on to the idea that this person is perfect, the harder it'll be to get on with your life. It's completely possible that you're idealizing someone just so that you can have a fantasy to hold on to. You should accept that this person is not perfect, and definitely not perfect for you -- because the perfect person for you would think as highly of you as you do of them.
  3. Distance yourself. You won't want to, but staying close to someone you want but can't have just isn't healthy. Don't tell the person or anyone close to them what you are doing, as they might try to convince you otherwise. Just try to get away for a while. Don't call them, don't go places where you know they frequent, and make yourself scarce. Take the time to reflect on your situation and learn more about yourself.
  4. Date. While you are distancing yourself from said object of affection, try to meet people that you like. Don't settle for whomever asks you out, or you might end up making someone fall in love with you whom you don't love back! Approach people, try new things. You might want to compare everyone to the object of your affection, and you won't think anyone measures up. Stop this right now. You know there's someone better out there. Go find him or her!
  5. Do whatever you can to feel better about yourself. Exercise, eat well, take a class, meet people, go to parties, have fun. Life is too short to spend it pining for someone who doesn't see you for the great person you are! There are those out there who will.
  6. Try behavioral conditioning similar to a Pavlov's dog's response. Every time you obsess over this person try thinking about something repulsive. Pretty soon, you will start associating this person with repulsion, so that eventually the person's name will invoke disgust.

[edit] Tips

  • "Settle" is the key word here. Reconsider why you are so into them. Do they really deserve your admiration? If not, you would really be settling, no matter what your heart, and brain chemicals, tell you. If you are a girl, try reading "Be Honest: You're Not That Into Him Either!" It may cause you to realize they are not that great to begin with. If so...Their loss!

[edit] Warnings

  • The object of your affection might notice you are distancing yourself from them. They will try to get you to see them more. Say you have been really busy with all of these new activities. Tell them you have other things to do too. You must have a life separate from theirs. Don't answer their calls and don't call them or text message them. You will be tempted to but don't.
  • Don't assume after distancing yourself for awhile that you are over it. Be careful to make sure you are fully over the crush before you see the person again. Otherwise all your progressive will be undone, and you'll be back at step one.

[edit] Things You'll Need

  • A positive attitude
  • The nerve to decline their calls
  • The realization that you are the most important person in your life
  • Friends and Family
  • Not checking their Myspace
  • THE WANT TO MOVE ON...you cannot move on with out letting yourself move on

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