"Staying Calm"

7 Quick Ways to Calm Down

Anxiety zappers that can rescue you from daily stresses

I'm easily overwhelmed. When my kids' exuberant screams reach a decibel level my ears can't tolerate, when Chuck E., the life-size "rat" at the pizza place, starts doing his jig while flashing arcade lights blind me, or when I open my email to find 100 messages--I feel a meltdown coming on. Which is why I came up with seven quick ways to calm myself down.I turn to these when I don't have time to call my mom and hear her tell me, "Everything is going to be fine." They keep me centered and grounded for as long as possible, and they help me relax my body even during those times when screaming kids and dancing life-size rats converge.

1. Walk Away

Know your triggers. If a conversation about global warming, consumerism, or the trash crisis in the U.S. is overwhelming you, simply excuse yourself. If you're noise-sensitive and the scene at Toys-R-Us makes you want to throw whistling Elmo and his buddies across the store, tell your kids you need a time-out. (Bring along your husband or a friend so you can leave them safely, if need be.) My great-aunt Gigi knew her trigger points, and if a conversation or setting was getting close to them, she simply put one foot in front of another, and departed.

2. Close Your Eyes

Gently let the world disappear, and go within to regain your equilibrium. Ever since my mom came down with blepharospasm (a neurological tick of the eyelid), I've become aware of how important shutting our eyes is to the health of the nervous system. The only treatment available for this disorder is to have surgery that permanently keeps your eyelids open (you need to moisten them with drops, etc.). Such a condition would be living hell for my mom, because in closing her eyes she regains her balance and proper focus. The only time I recommend not using this technique is on the road (if you're driving).

3. Find Some Solitude

This can be challenging if you are at work, or at home with kids as creative and energetic as mine. But we all need some private time to let the nervous system regenerate. I must have known this back in college, because I opted for a tiny single room (a nun's closet, quite literally), rather than going in on a larger room with a closet big enough to store my sweaters. When three of my good friends begged me to go in with them on a killer quad, I told them, "Nope. Can't do it. Need my alone time, or else none of you would want to be around me. Trust me."My senior year I went to the extent of pasting black construction paper on the window above my door so no one would know if I was there, in order to get the hours of solitude that I needed.Be creative. Find your space. Any way you can. Even it involves black construction paper.

4. Go Outside

This is a true lifesaver for me. I need to be outside for at least an hour every day to get my sanity fix. Granted, I'm extremely lucky to be able to do so as a stay-at-home mom. But I think I would somehow work it into my schedule even if I had to commute into the city every day. Even if I'm not walking or running or biking or swimming, being outside calms me in a way that hardly anything else can. With an hour of nature, I go from being a bossy, opinionated, angry, cynical, uptight person into a bossy, opinionated, cynical, relaxed person. And that makes the difference between having friends and a husband to have dinner with and a world that tells me to go eat a frozen dinner by myself because they don't want to catch whatever grumpy bug I have.

5. Find Some Water

While watching Disney's "Pocahontas" the other day with my daughter Katherine (yes, I do get some of my best insights from cartoons), I observed the sheer joy the main character shows upon paddling down the river, singing about how she is one with the water. It reminded me of how universal the mood effects of water are, and how healing.On the rainy or snowy days that I can't walk the double stroller over to our local creeks, I do something the global-warming guys say not to; take a long shower, imagining that I am in the middle of a beautiful Hawaiian rain forest."Water helps in many ways," writes Elaine Aron. "When overaroused, keep drinking it--a big glass of it once an hour. Walk beside some water, look at it, listen to it. Get into some if you can, for a bath or a swim. Hot tubs and hot springs are popular for good reasons."

6. Breathe Deeply

Breathing is the foundation of sanity, because it is the way we provide our brain and every other vital organ in our body with the oxygen needed for us to survive. Breathing also eliminates toxins from our systems. Years ago, I learned the "Four Square" method of breathing to reduce anxiety:

1. Breathe in slowly to a count of four.
2. Hold the breath for a count of four.
3. Exhale slowly through pursed lips to a count of four.
4. Rest for a count of four (without taking any breaths).
5. Take two normal breaths.
6. Start over again with number one.

7. Listen to Music

Across the ages, music has been used to soothe and relax. During the worst months of my depression, I blared the soundtrack of "The Phantom of the Opera." Pretending to be the phantom with a cape and a mask, I twirled around our living room, swinging my kids in my arms. I belted out every word of "The Music of the Night." "Softly, deftly, music shall caress you, Feel it, hear it, secretly possess you...."The gorgeous song--like all good music--could stroke that tender place within me that words couldn't get to.

"The Power lies within You,Reclaim your Life"

These are really very powerful. Implement whatever you can.

1.Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. Buy a DVR. Tape your late night shows and get more sleep..

4.When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement,

"My purpose is to __________ today."

5. Live with the 3 E"s -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.

7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga or stretching, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.


8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & wa lnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14. Don"t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Try & pay an honest compliment to someone you wouldn't normally.




18. Life isn't fair, but it"s still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone

20. Don"t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don"t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won"t spoil the present.

23. Don"t compare your life to others". You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won"t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn"t useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often.

37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following > statements:

I am thankful for __________.
Today accomplished _________.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.


39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don"t want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

"Learn how to Relax"

1.Make healthy food choices. Sugar and caffeine are your enemies, as they both cause severe ups and downs, upsetting your body's ability to regulate energy. Instead of sugary, carbohydrate loaded snacks (like cookies or granola bars), eat fresh fruits and whole grain breads or crackers (sugar-free). Make sure you get plenty of low-calorie protein, like that found in chicken, fish, whole grains, beans, dark leafy vegetables, or low-fat dairy.

2.Find a quiet place when you are feeling overwhelmed. Even the stall of a bathroom will work if you have no other place to go.

3.Close your eyes and picture your own personal paradise. Put yourself there and imagine the setting. What do you see around you? Is there a breeze? What do you hear--birds? Waves? Water? Imagine yourself thoroughly enjoying every moment here in your special place.

4.Breathe. Inhale deeply, counting to five, then exhale slowly, counting to five. Do this ten times.

5.Relax in bed. Take a bath, play soft music, and lay down in bed. Read a book and clear your mind of all the stress and rush of the day.

6.Avoid people who are constantly angry or complain. Stress can be contagious, so avoid transmitters.

7.Stop engaging in behaviors that make you feel guilty. Seek help from a professional if necessary, but don't allow destructive behavior to sabotage your life and your health. Guilt is a potent source of stress, so get rid of the source of guilt by behaving yourself.

8.Exercise every day. You don't need to work out like a body builder or celebrity. At least twenty minutes (or more, if you like) every day of moderate activity, like walking or bike-riding, is the best known, scientifically proven way to significantly reduce stress. Walk on a treadmill every day for twenty minutes, take the stairs instead of the elevator, and park a little further away from the entrance to stores. You will be amazed at how much easier you overcome stress when you exercise regularly.

9.Learn to prioritize. Make a list of tasks you must accomplish that day. Put the most important things at the top and list every task in descending order of importance. Learn to be proactive and take care of things before they become a problem, then your time will be more productive and you will feel less stress.

10.Draw a warm bath, light candles around your tub, dim the lights, add bubbles, lavender, or just keep the water plain.

11.You can curl up on your couch with a blanket, and a good book, maybe even a cup of tea or cocoa.

12.Do yoga; it relaxes your body, and helps clear your mind.

13.Go to your local spa for a great massage. You will feel so great afterwards.

14.Lay on your bed or sofa, have some soft music playing in the background (or nature Cd's) and listen to ocean waves, waterfalls, or birds. Some new age music is very relaxing (such as Enya)

15.Go for a walk. If you live near a park with a fountain, or near a beach or lake, the calming sound of water will soothe you. Just a regular walk will also relax you.

16.If you can, go swimming, either at your local pool, a friend or relatives home, or in a lake. Swimming is great for reducing stress.

17.Do the activities or hobbies that relax you (fishing, sewing, singing, painting, taking photographs), whatever it is that keeps your mind off the things that normally stress you out, or things that you just need a break from every now and then.

18.It might sound cheesy, but hang out with your pet (like your dog, cat, bird, etc). Talk to your pet about all the stress and anxiety you've been going through and you'll feel a lot better. Or just cuddle or play with your pet. They'll love it and so will you.

19.Think positively.

Drink tea instead of coffee.

Smile and laugh. Laughing releases endorphins, which fight stress, help you relax, and remind you that life is about more than work. Make it a point to smile more, even if it feels strange at first.

When you first start cutting excess sugar from your diet you will crave it terribly. Be strong! After a couple of days the cravings will subside and you will notice (already) how much better you feel.

Take a multi-vitamin; some vitamins help relieve stress.
Lower your shoulders to help relax

Avoid toxic people! People who try to guilt you into doing things, or tell you you're not good enough, are people you should spend minimal time with (yes, even if they are family). Your life and health are YOUR responsibility.

If stress is causing serious problems such as headaches or other symptoms, seek help from a doctor.

Millions of people become unknowingly addicted to drugs and alcohol during times of severe stress. Be the strong person that you are and do not let this happen. One of the hardest parts of dealing with stress is recognizing and avoiding temptation.

7 Quick Ways to Calm Down

"Anxiety zappers that can rescue you from daily stresses"

I'm easily overwhelmed. When my kids' exuberant screams reach a decibel level my ears can't tolerate, when Chuck E., the life-size "rat" at the pizza place, starts doing his jig while flashing arcade lights blind me, or when I open my email to find 100 messages--I feel a meltdown coming on. Which is why I came up with seven quick ways to calm myself down.

I turn to these when I don't have time to call my mom and hear her tell me, "Everything is going to be fine." They keep me centered and grounded for as long as possible, and they help me relax my body even during those times when screaming kids and dancing life-size rats converge.

WALK AWAY"

Know your triggers. If a conversation about global warming, consumerism, or the trash crisis in the U.S. is overwhelming you, simply excuse yourself. If you're noise-sensitive and the scene at Toys-R-Us makes you want to throw whistling Elmo and his buddies across the store, tell your kids you need a time-out. (Bring along your husband or a friend so you can leave them safely, if need be.) My great-aunt Anna knew her trigger points, and if a conversation or setting was getting close to them, she simply put one foot in front of another, and departed.

"CLOSE YOUR EYES"

Gently let the world disappear, and go within to regain your equilibrium. Ever since my mom came down with blepharospasm (a neurological tick of the eyelid), I've become aware of how important shutting our eyes is to the health of the nervous system. The only treatment available for this disorder is to have surgery that permanently keeps your eyelids open (you need to moisten them with drops, etc.). Such a condition would be living hell for my mom, because in closing her eyes she regains her balance and proper focus.

The only time I recommend not using this technique is on the road (if you're driving).

"FIND SOME SOLITUDE"


This can be challenging if you are at work, or at home with kids as creative and energetic as mine. But we all need some private time to let the nervous system regenerate.

I must have known this back in college, because I opted for a tiny single room (a nun's closet, quite literally), rather than going in on a larger room with a closet big enough to store my sweaters. When three of my good friends begged me to go in with them on a killer quad, I told them, "Nope. Can't do it. Need my alone time, or else none of you would want to be around me. Trust me.

"My senior year I went to the extent of pasting black construction paper on the window above my door so no one would know if I was there, in order to get the hours of solitude that I needed.

Be creative. Find your space. Any way you can. Even it involves black construction paper.

"GO OUTSIDE"


This is a true lifesaver for me. I need to be outside for at least an hour every day to get my sanity fix. Granted, I'm extremely lucky to be able to do so as a stay-at-home mom. But I think I would somehow work it into my schedule even if I had to commute into the city every day.

Even if I'm not walking or running or biking or swimming, being outside calms me in a way that hardly anything else can. With an hour of nature, I go from being a bossy, opinionated, angry, cynical, uptight person into a bossy, opinionated, cynical, relaxed person. And that makes the difference between having friends and a husband to have dinner with and a world that tells me to go eat a frozen dinner by myself because they don't want to catch whatever grumpy bug I have.

"FIND SOME WATER"


While watching Disney's "Pocahontas" the other day with my daughter Katherine (yes, I do get some of my best insights from cartoons), I observed the sheer joy the main character shows upon paddling down the river, singing about how she is one with the water. It reminded me of how universal the mood effects of water are, and how healing.On the rainy or snowy days that I can't walk the double stroller over to our local creeks, I do something the global-warming guys say not to; take a long shower, imagining that I am in the middle of a beautiful Hawaiian rain forest."Water helps in many ways," writes Elaine Aron. "When overaroused, keep drinking it--a big glass of it once an hour. Walk beside some water, look at it, listen to it. Get into some if you can, for a bath or a swim. Hot tubs and hot springs are popular for good reasons."

"BREATHE DEEPLY"


Breathing is the foundation of sanity, because it is the way we provide our brain and every other vital organ in our body with the oxygen needed for us to survive. Breathing also eliminates toxins from our systems. Years ago, I learned the "Four Square" method of breathing to reduce anxiety:

1. Breathe in slowly to a count of four.

2. Hold the breath for a count of four.

3. Exhale slowly through pursed lips to a count of four.

4. Rest for a count of four (without taking any breaths).

5. Take two normal breaths.6. Start over again with number one.

"LISTEN TO MUSIC"


Across the ages, music has been used to soothe and relax. During the worst months of my depression, I blared the soundtrack of "The Phantom of the Opera." Pretending to be the phantom with a cape and a mask, I twirled around our living room, swinging my kids in my arms. I belted out every word of "The Music of the Night." "Softly, deftly, music shall caress you, Feel it, hear it, secretly possess you...."The gorgeous song--like all good music--could stroke that tender place within me that words couldn't get to.