"Effective Way To Reduce Stress"

HOW TO REDUCE STRESS

An Angel says, "Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice."

1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and uncluttered your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "Thank you Jesus."
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33. Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36 . Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

"MONOGAMY"

Lets talk monogamy... Who makes the rules?

Before we start lets define the usage of the word sex in this blog.
Sex – a physical act intended to bring pleasure.

Not this definition:

Sex – an act between two people in love, used to express intimacy, closeness, adoration, admiration, the joining of two souls, I want you to complete me and be my love moon, blah blah blah.

Next let me prepare you and your mind for this blog.
I do not accept any beliefs, thoughts or rules just because I am "supposed to". I want to understand everything I do at a factual and logical level. You are going to have to put yourself in that place as well if you really want to get your brain going with this blog and generate some deep discussion.

Reasons like: "just because", "that's way its supposed to be", "that's just how the world works", "that's how I was raised", "that's how people in my city think", and "I don't know", aren't acceptable reasons.

If you are 1 week before your period, do not read this blog. You will be blinded by emotions and they will override any logical thinking your brain is capable of, go cry because your shoes are black and come back next week.

If you are not a confident person, then this blog is not for you. Without true self confidence, this topic will always be off limits, because you live a life of thinking you aren't good enough and someone else has more to offer. Gross.

Last, this is not a religious blog and all statements and thoughts are made outside of the context of the bible and biblical/religious history. If you base the discussion on the bible then it states husband and wife only, but that's not as much fun to write or read about so we will take the secular approach.

Ok, now lets discuss.

Why is it that sex is always such a point of contention in commited relationships? Someone is cheating on someone, someone is fantasizing about someone else, someone is hiding a secret from their partner about someone they saw recently, etc etc.

Men, after a certain period of time being with the same woman and being told you cant be with anyone else, your mind begins to wonder. Wonder what someone new would feel like, wonder what the chase would feel like, wonder what a dog collar would feel like around your neck while someone feeds you dog biscuits and only refers to you as Fido, wonder what some "strange" would be like after 5 years of the same thing.

I would never say that all men act on these urges, but I will say all men have these thoughts and most men I know have acted on them. Save the morality speech, I never condoned it, just stated facts. Plus I am sure your man has never done or thought about those things… He's different, trust me.

Ask one hundred husbands if they could have a night of wild, hot sex with a beautiful stranger with no risk of getting caught or any guilt associated, how do you think the majority would answer? If they did, the wife didnt find out, it didnt make him love or adore her any less, then would it really matter?

Women, after a certain period of time your mind might wonder about what it would feel like to have new exciting sex with a Latin dancer who doesnt button the top three buttons on his shirt and continually drips sweat on you while he is drilling you like an oil rig, what it would feel like for the danger associated with sleeping with a bad boy, one that wouldnt be sweet to you and would fuck you like a 16 dollar whore, what it would feel like for a millionaire to sweep you away on his yacht for a weekend, the two of you sipping champagne and making love on piles of 100 dollar bills and caviar, what it would be like to feel that nervousness again, the kind you feel when you get naked with someone for the first time.

Why is it that we take the most natural thing on earth besides breathing and eating and make it so off limits and taboo? Because society says we should? Because the media says we should? Because that's what our wedding vows said? Because that's what our parents did?

Some of the possible reasons/answers to that question:

1. Because your spouse is yours and yours only, no one else can touch them. My question back to you is, why? Who says? Because if I dont know who says that rule then its highly unlikely I am going to listen to the mystery source dictating the rules.

2. Because fooling around could lead to falling in love and leaving your spouse. My answer to that is if fooling around one night with someone other than your spouse is enough to make you abandon your entire relationship then it was going to fail anyway. Might as well happen now than drag on your bullshit relationship for 5 more year.

3. Because what if you experience someone that is better in bed and gets you curious and wanting to explore more. If you experience that, tell your spouse and the two of you work on that technique or sex life.

If after 5 years of just pleasing each other someone new shows you some tricks then either you two need to get in bed more often or, great, we learned new ways to please each other.

Not, "oooh that was good, let me leave my spouse and go try that again".
The list of reasons could go on, but I still don't think any of them are valid if the two of you are confident in yourselves, each other and the bond the two of you have. What are the other reasons?

I am not speaking of an open relationship where each person can do as they please without accountability.

I personally think that leads to lies, covering up and emotional connections. Which are all dangerous and all break trust with your spouse.

I am talking about one night, letting your spouse sleep with a stranger or a stranger sleep with you. Or someone going out of town on business and banging a slutty chick all night until she forgets her middle name.

Or the two of you and another couple pile up in a king size bed until the sun comes up. No lying, no covering up, everything open and on the table in front of your eyes. And, with someone that you will never see again, text the next day asking how their morning is going or meet for lunch or continue to "connect" with.

Basically the other party is used purely for your physical temporary pleasure and then tossed aside once it is over. The other party also views you as a temporary source of pleasure as well.

How does that scenario take away or hurt your relationship with your spouse? They are using someone else's body for pleasure, basically like a sex toy, except they are live sex toys.

Jealousy? Why would you be jealous? That other person gets them for 45 minutes, you get them anytime you want and your spouse chose you to spend their life with, not the 45 minute human sex toy, right?

If anyone should be jealous its the 45 minute person, they should be jealous because you get them for a lifetime and they only got them for 45 minutes.

Your spouse gets a massage that is purely for pleasure, if you remove the taboo that the media and society has put on sex then could they be viewed the same?

Why is it ok for a man to touch a woman's hand but not her breasts? Who said breasts were off limits? Again, media, society, influence…?

If 50 of us were born and day 1 placed on a 5 acre island in the middle of the ocean. No influence from the past, no influence from society or the media, no one to teach us what is off limits.

Would we just naturally grow up know that women are supposed to cover their breasts and sex should be only allowed between two people for eternity?

Of course not, we wouldn't have a world there to tell us how to be, so why again do we let a world that is pretty fucked up dictate to us what is right and wrong or what is off limits?

I want to know why and "because the world says so" isn't a good enough reason for me.

I'd like to hear your open and honest thoughts on this topic, I will personally reply back to every comment left.

I am not here to convince anyone, I am just here to discuss. My replies will be unbiased and unemotional. Just give your random thoughts or answer the below questions from the blog.

1. If you have a solid foundation with someone, does a physical act purely for pleasure affect that foundation?

2. Is it different if both people in the relationship openly discuss and are aware of the acts vs an open relationship where each person does as they please.

3. Is it different if its a regular person that you sleep with vs a random stranger that you never meet or talk to again?

4. Is it different for the woman to do it knowing that for most women stimulation and attraction starts with her mind and emotions, and attraction for a man starts with something as simple as being there and smelling good.

5. In the majority of cases if a woman is being fulfilled mentally, emotionally and physically by her partner she will not want to sleep with another man. If a man has everything he could ever want, sleeping with another woman is still appealing.True or false?

6. If you are 100 percent confident that there is no one that can fulfill your spouse the way you can, then should you be worried or jealous of someone else touching them? If the answer is yes, then why?

7. Do you agree with the 5 acre island without any outside influences theory?

8. What are the reasons why have monogamy in your relationship?

9. Jealousy? Why would you be jealous? Unless you felt that your spouse would choose the other person over you… Right?

"Music For The Soul"

" Music In The World Of Hate"

Music has a huge impact to our lives just some people ignore it,if you try to internalized the songs that have a positive lyrics it can do a lot in your daily life:

I can say that music is the best stress reducer...

Listening to good Music is the best technique in handling anger instead of attending an anger management program & waste your money just listen to some relaxing music that can ease your anger & shift your mood into much more calm feeling.

You can try any kind that soothes your ears.But if you want to relax & have a nice rest try listening to instrumental.

Some don't give so much importance to music ,some just think it is just use by those who like to sing & dance & for entertaiment purposes only.

But there are more benefits than you realized in listening to a nice soothing sound,music is the way to a man's heart & soul...

Music can make a big influence in daily our lives,it can change your outlook in a more positive manner.I myself had proven that Music have a very powerful impact in my outlook in life.I can get strength in just listening to music,i get to relax if i'm in tension,i can able to change my mood quickly from being sad to being happy.Music had given me a major shift in my life,i'm just hoping i could share my knowledge that can help others to live a more happier & stress-free life.I won't be ashamed to admit that i had a life that is so much complicated & most people around dragged me down most of the time i feel alone that no one to turn to,no one to speak ,no one would really understand but still i try to be strong & be positive but still i'm still a normal person who get hurts & need an outlet to released my pain.That is why i have this eagerness to make others feel that they are needed & wanted.I want to share them my experiences so could will realized that they are not the only person who suffer.I want to be strong for the people that are weaker than me in that way helping them changed their outlook in life makes me achieve something that my family fails to share with me,the appreciation that i'm worth something.

Music become my friend & confiandant...some may think it crazy but if you will just let the soul of the music enter your heart you can find a feeling of acceptance.I know for some they would not understand what i'm trying to point out.But not try to understand it from an intellectual level but try to understand in your emotional level let your heart interpret it not your mind.

"Yourself Is Your Personal Investment"

Procrastinate on Everything Else, But Not Self Improvement

Firstly, 'impossible' is 1 word that keeps ideas from becoming reality, and has left different persons living lives filled with discontentment as well as frightening trials.

You have to recognize what prompts you but the reality is still that no other person can discover it for you; you've to think about it correctly as it will obviously go a very long way in carving you into what you will become. You make every situation seem highly awful or also worse when you make use of phrases like 'always' or 'in no way' on your subordinates at the office. And it provides you a feeling that the persons you make use of these words on are not reliable.
It's certainly vital for anyone that's desirous about self improvement to learn about a current thing every day due to the fact that studying is a delightful exercise that not merely broadens our horizons but also provides us a lot better opportunities to better ourselves.

A coaching manager in an organization is meant to productively manage various perspectives so as to triumph with the common target of an organization; heshe is also meant to help in the level of members' expectations and also needs. Some people don't understand that the mental and emotional factors of a man or woman are highly valuable to anyone who is desirous about self improvement.

By eating just the right types of foods, increasing your level of physical fitness along with the right exercise routines, your body will obviously pick up the signals that you need to burn lots of fuel for energy and put you in the right physical frame for self enhancement.

Even teenagers can profit a lot from self enhancement; as a parent, try to constantly work on improving every aspects of your children's lives - their studies, their physical vigor, their communication knowledge, etc.

In rounding off, in the aspect of self improvement, coaches are supposed to act as your guides and motivation to propel you as hard as it's possible to go; an excellent teacherwill obviously not make life tough for you just due to the fact that you haven't yet done much or you haven't yet performed well.

"Should Men Be Intimidated By Career Oriented Women?"

.....Girls with high standards?.....

Gentlemen, do you find this intimidating and scare you off? Or is it more of a challenge? Do you have high standards for women? What do they include? And ladies, do you have high standards yourself? And if so, what do YOUR standards include?

Personality? Looks? Education? Income? Etc?

Most men find it intimidating to date a woman with strong character & pursuing a career of her own.But this should not happen because being intimidated is a negative attitude & a sign of lack of self trust.Nobody should be intimidated by anyone.We are all special in different areas all we just need is to trust ourselves & discover our own strength & use it.

Being intimidated by others is sign of a weak personality ,I must say we all have the tendency to be intimidated by someone but all we need is to overcome this fear & always put in your mind that no one is above us.We are equal & all special.

Career Oriendted women should be admired by both men & women but there is no reason to be intimidated by people who already had made themselves become a successful individuals but let them be your inspiration to achieve your goals be happy for what they had accomplished in their lives.Focus on the positive side of things,being intimidated is a negative thing that you should overcome.It will do you no good at all.

I do have high standard in choosing a woman in my life.It is important that she has a good education & good values,i just don't focus on physical traits.

Physical attractiveness is important for me because i love to see beatiful things & i want to spend my life with someone who i will never be tired of looking till year passes.But i won't take a girl just for looks without brains.I'm attracted to someone who is a good conversationalist that can discuss any topic with me

You should not be intimidated by someone who is achieving his or her goals in life but instead take it as a challenge that would make you more procdutive & aspire more in life,Being challenged is healthy for you to grow & disbover yourself but don't take challenges as acompetition because you should not compete with others.

You should take this challenge to boost your self-trust & not for competing

Don't try to prove yourself on anyone.To be truly successful is just do your thing with your own style,competition is not healthy for you & your relationship.

I prefer a woman who have confidence in herself,know what she wants & know how to achieve it..

I can say that i have a very high standard in choosing my mate because i have a high respect for myself & i want to be treated that way.I won't bgo with a girl who can't stand for herself & depend what she believes in.

I want someone unique,i won't choose a girl who immitates someone whether in fashion or career because woman who immitates does not know what is good or bad for her & she lacks the ability to decide what she wants that all she would do is go with the flow.I won't go with a girl who doesn't uses her own mind.I woman who doesn't know her difference with other girls because she losses her own i dentity.

For me i would much admire a girl who is self -made rather than a girl who inherited her wealth.

I would admire & prefer someone who is educated but well mannered.Because not all who acquired higher education acts educated.Being educated for me means much more not just proven by the means of diplomas & certificates.I prefer omeone who thinks & act educated.

"Pamper Yourself Once In A While"

25 Ways to Pamper Yourself




I published this list of ideas on how to be good to yourself back in February when I celebrated "Pamper Your Inner Child Day." But I thought it was appropriate to revisit some of these ideas that come from Beliefnet's holistic editor, Valerie Reiss, or to encourage you to make up your own

1. bathe in fragrant water
2. drink water
3. stretch the upper back
4. call a friend
5. go for a walk
6. list three things you love about yourself
7. list three things you love about the world
8. doodle
9. write three pages in a journal
10. knit something easy
11. bake
12. make soup
13. take 10 slow even breaths
14. meditate or pray for 10 minutes
15. make a list of 3 things you're looking forward to
16. make a list of 3 reasons why you are needed here
17. give something to someone
18. call a sick/pregnant/overwhelmed friend and offer help
19. make and drink a cup of tea
20. water the plants
21. read a favorite author
22. look through old photos
23. make a collage
24. buy a new outfit
25. get a haircut

"R-E-S-P-E-C-T"

Developing a relationship isn’t easy. It involves entering completely into another man’s world, and that can be a frightening thing. His family, his friends? His personal history? Pretty heavy stuff. Don’t let it scare you. It’s no monster – it is, in fact, the road to the happy ending you’re after.

One of the most pivotal elements is respect. Mutual respect. You have no choice if you want the real thing. It’s tough, again, and I know this. But you must give to get and, in the case of relationships, giving means being open to what he’s into and what makes him the man he is. If he’s the man you think he is, he’ll return the favor.

As your relationship begins, think about who you are and who he is. What are you willing to compromise for the sake of this partnership? How much of what he is attracts you enough to make you want to do it with all your heart? If you’re sincere about wanting the real thing – and that’s why you’re here – you owe it to yourself to answer these questions.

Remember: we all live in our own private universes. We are the center. That means he’s the center of his own too. Respect his life and respect his feelings. As you expect your own desires and dreams to be treated properly, so does he. And, if the attraction is there, it’s more than worth the effort. Maybe the relationship won’t work out. You may make other contacts in the future. But you’ll be guilty of nothing more than have trying to give your best to him.

We live in the age of entitlement and this makes it rougher. We all believe our due is the perfect guy. Yet we’re far from perfect ourselves, a fact we often overlook when we interact with men on my partner. We’re impatient. We want it now and we want it fabulous. Real partnership calls for a lot more, and I think you can give it.

The good news? It can be fabulous. Just be available to him in a truly emotional way. Express caring. Convey concern. At the very least, listen to him. Be a friend. You may find you’re paving the way to the thing you wanted from the start. At the worst, you made a strong connection with another man.

I reiterate: listen. Hear what your partner is saying. He’s communicating a great deal, especially if you read between the lines. And, if you have a real affection for him, you’ll want to do this. There’s nothing more rewarding than giving to someone you have feelings for. That’s when the true fireworks start, the blasts that come from the heart and soul.

"I Shall"

I Shall

I am Capable. I am Worthwhile.

I am Beautiful. I am Lovable.

I Shall accept both my strengths

and my weaknesses for they are me.

I Shall never again believe the "lie"

that if I make a mistake,

I am a mistake.

My mistakes are the learning tools

that I shall encounter on my life journey.

When I learn from my mistakes,

I give them meaning

When I give my mistakes meaning,

I can begin to forgive myself,

I can begin to heal.

I Shall not use my mistakes as excuses

to give up on me.....

My mistakes are not me.

I Shall seek the wisdom to nurture

my heart, mind, body, and soul

so that I may feel more centered

providing an energy reserve that allows

me to climb the mountains in my own life

providing an energy reserve that allows

me to love and support others

who are climbing a different mountain

providing an energy reserve that allows

time for friends, play

and the celebration of life.

I Shall allow myself to feel capable

so that I may seek excellence.

I Shall allow myself to feel sadness

so that joy may return.

I Shall allow myself to feel joy

so that I may be revitalized.

I Shall allow myself to feel afraid

so that I may find courage.

I Shall allow myself to feel alone

so that I may know me.

I Shall allow myself to feel beautiful

so that I may feel free.

I Shall allow myself to feel lovable

so that the loving may seek me.

I Shall allow myself to feel pain

so that I may heal.

I Shall allow myself to feel worthy

so that I may fulfill my purpose.

When I am centered,

I see the perfection in the world,

myself and others.

When I find the world to be imperfect,

I will take responsibility

for painting it that way.

I will look into the heart of a rose,

or the eyes of a newborn baby

and again know perfection.

I take responsibility

for creating my own life story

through the choices I have made;

to blame others is to give away

my personal power.

Who will I allow to write

the next chapter of my life?

I Shall seek the courage to believe

in a God or Higher Power

who will laugh with me in the sunlight

or cry with me in the darkness.

I Shall make a small difference on this planet

through the work I do.

When I leave I will have done my share.

I Shall live, love, laugh,

and learn on my journey.

"Who are you?"

As all living beings desire to be happy always, without misery, as in the case of everyone there is observed supreme love for one's self, and as happiness alone is the cause for love, in order to gain that happiness which is one's nature and which is experienced in the state of deep sleep where there is no mind, one should know one's self. For that, the path of knowledge, the inquiry of the form "Who am I?", is the principal means.




1 . Who am I ?

The gross body which is composed of the seven humours (dhatus), I am not; the five cognitive sense organs, viz. the senses of hearing, touch, sight, taste, and smell, which apprehend their respective objects, viz. sound, touch, colour, taste, and odour, I am not; the five cognitive sense-organs, viz. the organs of speech, locomotion, grasping, excretion, and procreation, which have as their respective functions speaking, moving, grasping, excreting, and enjoying, I am not; the five vital airs, prana, etc., which perform respectively the five functions of in-breathing, etc., I am not; even the mind which thinks, I am not; the nescience too, which is endowed only with the residual impressions of objects, and in which there are no objects and no functioning's, I am not.

2. If I am none of these, then who am I?

After negating all of the above-mentioned as 'not this', 'not this', that Awareness which alone remains - that I am.

3. What is the nature of Awareness?

The nature of Awareness is existence-consciousness-bliss

4. When will the realization of the Self be gained?

When the world which is what-is-seen has been removed, there will be realization of the Self which is the seer.

5. Will there not be realization of the Self even while the world is there (taken as real)?

There will not be.

6. Why?

The seer and the object seen are like the rope and the snake. Just as the knowledge of the rope which is the substrate will not arise unless the false knowledge of the illusory serpent goes, so the realization of the Self which is the substrate will not be gained unless the belief that the world is real is removed.

7. When will the world which is the object seen be removed?

When the mind, which is the cause of all cognition's and of all actions, becomes quiescent, the world will disappear.

8. What is the nature of the mind?

What is called 'mind' is a wondrous power residing in the Self. It causes all thoughts to arise. Apart from thoughts, there is no such thing as mind. Therefore, thought is the nature of mind. Apart from thoughts, there is no independent entity called the world. In deep sleep there are no thoughts, and there is no world. In the states of waking and dream, there are thoughts, and there is a world also. Just as the spider emits the thread (of the web) out of itself and again withdraws it into itself, likewise the mind projects the world out of itself and again resolves it into itself. When the mind comes out of the Self, the world appears. Therefore, when the world appears (to be real), the Self does not appear; and when the Self appears (shines) the world does not appear. When one persistently inquires into the nature of the mind, the mind will end leaving the Self (as the residue). What is referred to as the Self is the Atman. The mind always exists only in dependence on something gross; it cannot stay alone. It is the mind that is called the subtle body or the soul (jiva).

9. What is the path of inquiry for understanding the nature of the mind?

That which rises as 'I' in this body is the mind. If one inquires as to where in the body the thought 'I' rises first, one would discover that it rises in the heart. That is the place of the mind's origin. Even if one thinks constantly 'I' 'I', one will be led to that place. Of all the thoughts that arise in the mind, the 'I' thought is the first. It is only after the rise of this that the other thoughts arise. It is after the appearance of the first personal pronoun that the second and third personal pronouns appear; without the first personal pronoun there will not be the second and third.

10. How will the mind become quiescent?

By the inquiry 'Who am I?'. The thought 'who am I?' will destroy all other thoughts, and like the stick used for stirring the burning pyre, it will itself in the end get destroyed. Then, there will arise Self-realization.

11. What is the means for constantly holding on to the thought 'Who am I?'

When other thoughts arise, one should not pursue them, but should inquire: 'To whom do they arise?' It does not matter how many thoughts arise. As each thought arises, one should inquire with diligence, "To whom has this thought arisen?". The answer that would emerge would be "To me". Thereupon if one inquires "Who am I?", the mind will go back to its source; and the thought that arose will become quiescent. With repeated practice in this manner, the mind will develop the skill to stay in its source. When the mind that is subtle goes out through the brain and the sense-organs, the gross names and forms appear; when it stays in the heart, the names and forms disappear. Not letting the mind go out, but retaining it in the Heart is what is called "inwardness" (antar-mukha). Letting the mind go out of the Heart is known as "externalisation" (bahir-mukha). Thus, when the mind stays in the Heart, the 'I' which is the source of all thoughts will go, and the Self which ever exists will shine. Whatever one does, one should do without the egoity "I". If one acts in that way, all will appear as of the nature of Siva (God).

12. Are there no other means for making the mind quiescent?

Other than inquiry, there are no adequate means. If through other means it is sought to control the mind, the mind will appear to be controlled, but will again go forth. Through the control of breath also, the mind will become quiescent; but it will be quiescent only so long as the breath remains controlled, and when the breath resumes the mind also will again start moving and will wander as impelled by residual impressions. The source is the same for both mind and breath. Thought, indeed, is the nature of the mind. The thought "I" is the first thought of the mind; and that is egoity. It is from that whence egoity originates that breath also originates. Therefore, when the mind becomes quiescent, the breath is controlled, and when the breath is controlled the mind becomes quiescent. But in deep sleep, although the mind becomes quiescent, the breath does not stop. This is because of the will of God, so that the body may be preserved and other people may not be under the impression that it is dead. In the state of waking and in samadhi, when the mind becomes quiescent the breath is controlled. Breath is the gross form of mind. Till the time of death, the mind keeps breath in the body; and when the body dies the mind takes the breath along with it. Therefore, the exercise of breath-control is only an aid for rendering the mind quiescent (manonigraha); it will not destroy the mind (manonasa).

Like the practice of breath-control. meditation on the forms of God, repetition of mantras, restriction on food, etc., are but aids for rendering the mind quiescent.

Through meditation on the forms of God and through repetition of mantras, the mind becomes one-pointed. The mind will always be wandering. Just as when a chain is given to an elephant to hold in its trunk it will go along grasping the chain and nothing else, so also when the mind is occupied with a name or form it will grasp that alone. When the mind expands in the form of countless thoughts, each thought becomes weak; but as thoughts get resolved the mind becomes one-pointed and strong; for such a mind Self-inquiry will become easy. Of all the restrictive rules, that relating to the taking of sattvic food in moderate quantities is the best; by observing this rule, the sattvic quality of mind will increase, and that will be helpful to Self-inquiry.

13. The residual impressions (thoughts) of objects appear wending like the waves of an ocean. When will all of them get destroyed?

As the meditation on the Self rises higher and higher, the thoughts will get destroyed.

14. Is it possible for the residual impressions of objects that come from beginningless time, as it were, to be resolved, and for one to remain as the pure Self?

Without yielding to the doubt "Is it possible, or not?", one should persistently hold on to the meditation on the Self. Even if one be a great sinner, one should not worry and weep "O! I am a sinner, how can I be saved?"; one should completely renounce the thought "I am a sinner"; and concentrate keenly on meditation on the Self; then, one would surely succeed. There are not two minds - one good and the other evil; the mind is only one. It is the residual impressions that are of two kinds - auspicious and inauspicious. When the mind is under the influence of auspicious impressions it is called good; and when it is under the influence of inauspicious impressions it is regarded as evil.

The mind should not be allowed to wander towards worldly objects and what concerns other people. However bad other people may be, one should bear no hatred for them. Both desire and hatred should be eschewed. All that one gives to others one gives to one's self. If this truth is understood who will not give to others? When one's self arises all arises; when one's self becomes quiescent all becomes quiescent. To the extent we behave with humility, to that extent there will result good. If the mind is rendered quiescent, one may live anywhere.

15. How long should inquiry be practised?

As long as there are impressions of objects in the mind, so long the inquiry "Who am I?" is required. As thoughts arise they should be destroyed then and there in the very place of their origin, through inquiry. If one resorts to contemplation of the Self unintermittently, until the Self is gained, that alone would do. As long as there are enemies within the fortress, they will continue to sally forth; if they are destroyed as they emerge, the fortress will fall into our hands.

16. What is the nature of the Self?

What exists in truth is the Self alone. The world, the individual soul, and God are appearances in it. like silver in mother-of-pearl, these three appear at the same time, and disappear at the same time. The Self is that where there is absolutely no "I" thought. That is called "Silence". The Self itself is the world; the Self itself is "I"; the Self itself is God; all is Siva, the Self.

17. Is not everything the work of God?

Without desire, resolve, or effort, the sun rises; and in its mere presence, the sun-stone emits fire, the lotus blooms, water evaporates; people perform their various functions and then rest. Just as in the presence of the magnet the needle moves, it is by virtue of the mere presence of God that the souls governed by the three (cosmic) functions or the fivefold divine activity perform their actions and then rest, in accordance with their respective karmas. God has no resolve; no karma attaches itself to Him. That is like worldly actions not affecting the sun, or like the merits and demerits of the other four elements not affecting all pervading space.

18. Of the devotees, who is the greatest?

He who gives himself up to the Self that is God is the most excellent devotee. Giving one's self up to God means remaining constantly in the Self without giving room for the rise of any thoughts other than that of the Self. Whatever burdens are thrown on God, He bears them. Since the supreme power of God makes all things move, why should we, without submitting ourselves to it, constantly worry ourselves with thoughts as to what should be done and how, and what should not be done and how not? We know that the train carries all loads, so after getting on it why should we carry our small luggage on our head to our discomfort, instead of putting it down in the train and feeling at ease?

19. What is non-attachment?

As thoughts arise, destroying them utterly without any residue in the very place of their origin is non-attachment. Just as the pearl-diver ties a stone to his waist, sinks to the bottom of the sea and there takes the pearls, so each one of us should be endowed with non-attachment, dive within oneself and obtain the Self-Pearl.

20. Is it not possible for God and the Guru to effect the release of a soul?

God and the Guru will only show the way to release; they will not by themselves take the soul to the state of release. In truth, God and the Guru are not different. Just as the prey which has fallen into the jaws of a tiger has no escape, so those who have come within the ambit of the Guru's gracious look will be saved by the Guru and will not get lost; yet, each one should by his own effort pursue the path shown by God or Guru and gain release. One can know oneself only with one's own eye of knowledge, and not with somebody else's. Does he who is Rama require the help of a mirror to know that he is Rama?

21. Is it necessary for one who longs for release to inquire into the nature of categories (tattvas)?

Just as one who wants to throw away garbage has no need to analyse it and see what it is, so one who wants to know the Self has no need to count the number of categories or inquire into their characteristics; what he has to do is to reject altogether the categories that hide the Self. The world should be considered like a dream.

22. Is there no difference between waking and dream?

Waking is long and a dream short; other than this there is no difference. Just as waking happenings seem real while awake. so do those in a dream while dreaming. In dream the mind takes on another body. In both waking and dream states thoughts. names and forms occur simultaneously.

23. Is it any use reading books for those who long for release?

All the texts say that in order to gain release one should render the mind quiescent; therefore their conclusive teaching is that the mind should be rendered quiescent; once this has been understood there is no need for endless reading. In order to quieten the mind one has only to inquire within oneself what one's Self is; how could this search be done in books? One should know one's Self with one's own eye of wisdom. The Self is within the five sheaths; but books are outside them. Since the Self has to be inquired into by discarding the five sheaths, it is futile to search for it in books. There will come a time when one will have to forget all that one has learned.

24. What is happiness?

Happiness is the very nature of the Self; happiness and the Self are not different. There is no happiness in any object of the world. We imagine through our ignorance that we derive happiness from objects. When the mind goes out, it experiences misery. In truth, when its desires are fulfilled, it returns to its own place and enjoys the happiness that is the Self. Similarly, in the states of sleep, samadhi and fainting, and when the object desired is obtained or the object disliked is removed, the mind becomes inward-turned, and enjoys pure Self-Happiness. Thus the mind moves without rest alternately going out of the Self and returning to it. Under the tree the shade is pleasant; out in the open the heat is scorching. A person who has been going about in the sun feels cool when he reaches the shade. Someone who keeps on going from the shade into the sun and then back into the shade is a fool. A wise man stays permanently in the shade. Similarly, the mind of the one who knows the truth does not leave Brahman. The mind of the ignorant, on the contrary, revolves in the world, feeling miserable, and for a little time returns to Brahman to experience happiness. In fact, what is called the world is only thought. When the world disappears, i.e. when there is no thought, the mind experiences happiness; and when the world appears, it goes through misery.

25. What is wisdom-insight (jnana-drsti)?

Remaining quiet is what is called wisdom-insight. To remain quiet is to resolve the mind in the Self. Telepathy, knowing past, present and future happenings and clairvoyance do not constitute wisdom-insight.

26. What is the relation between desirelessness and wisdom?

Desirelessness is wisdom. The two are not different; they are the same. Desirelessness is refraining from turning the mind towards any object. Wisdom means the appearance of no object. In other words, not seeking what is other than the Self is detachment or desirelessness; not leaving the Self is wisdom.

27. What is the difference between inquiry and meditation?

Inquiry consists in retaining the mind in the Self. Meditation consists in thinking that one's self is Brahman, existence-consciousness-bliss.

28. What is release?

Inquiring into the nature of one's self that is in bondage, and realising one's true nature is release.

The Teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi

"You've Got to Stand for Something"

You've Got to Stand for Something

Or you'll fall for anything. If you do not have values, you never have good relationships. You must know who you are, what you believe in, and what you want in relationship.

Know who you are-You are who you are. You have essentially been this person your entire life. You are NOT what you do for a living. That is simply how you make money. You are a person with thoughts, dreams, hopes, and fears. If you really don't know who you are, you should sit down and write out a description of yourself. You can include your physical attributes, but that is only part of who you are. Write down all the things that are important to you, in any order. Don't leave anything out, even things you may consider to be flaws or faults. Once you have a better grasp on who you are, you can get on to having meaningful relationships.

Know What You Believe In - Everybody believes in something. I'm not talking about religious beliefs, although that is a big part of who some people are. I'm talking about the things you feel passionately about. Do you feel strongly about politics? religion? sex? West Australian hummingbirds? sports? raising children? Whatever you feel strongly about shapes who you are, and becomes your values system.

Know What You Want - If you are looking for a particular type of relationship, or a particular type of person, DO NOT settle for anything less. If you are looking for a purely physical, short-term situation, and you settle down with someone for a long-term committed relationship, you will end up feeling trapped and it will ultimately end badly. On the other hand, if you're looking for a long-term commitment, and you hook up with someone for a one-night stand, you will likely end up feeling empty and dirty. If you're looking for someone outgoing and personable, and you are with someone who is very shy and reserved, you are not going to be very happy, either.

It always comes back to communication, especially with yourself. You must know who you are, what you believe in, and what you want. Otherwise, you not be happy in any relationship.

"HOW TO REDUCE STRESS"

Tips for Stress Reduction



PRAY. Make quiet time with Jesus a daily habit.

GO TO BED ON TIME. Get enough sleep.

GET UP ON TIME so you can start the day unrushed.

SAY NO to projects that won’t fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.

DELEGATE tasks to others who are capable.

LAUGH.

ALLOW EXTRA TIME to do things and to get to places.

PACE YOURSELF. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time, when possible; don’t lump the hard things all together.

CONCENTRATE on things you have direct control over – yourself and your habits – rather than on things that you have little or no control over.

GET ORGANIZED so everything has its place.

SEPARATE WORRIES FROM CONCERNS. If a situation is valid concern, find out what God would have you to do about it. If you’re worried about something that you cant of shouldn’t do anything about, then put it in His hands.

LIVE WITHIN YOUR BUDGET. Don’t buy things on credit if you don’t have to.

TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME.

HAVE BACKUPS – an extra car key in your wallet; an extra house key buried in the garden; extra postage stamps; extra batteries for your flashlight, cell phone, etc.; back up your computer files.

DO YOUR DAILY BIBLE DEVOTION. Carry God’s word with you to read while waiting or during spare moments.

TAKE YOUR WORK SERIOUSLY, but yourself not at all.

FEED YOUR SOUL. Use the time while driving or riding in your car or at home doing household chores to listen to Bible-based radio programs, CDs or MP3’s that can help improve your quality of life.

KEEP A FOLDER OR A FILE OF FAVORITE VERSES.
Or memorize one favorite verse a day.

BE THANKFUL. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a hearth “Thank you Jesus!”

SLOW DOWN.

GET ENOUGH EXERCISE.

SIMPLIFY AND DECLUTTER YOUR LIFE.

DEVELOP A FORGIVING ATTITUDE.

BE KIND TO UNKIND PEOPLE.

EAT RIGHT.
THANK GOD for what is coming, because He won’t send you anything that you and He can’t handle together.

HAVING PROBLEMS? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don’t wait until it’s time to go to bed and try and pray.

"DREAM TO LIVE"

"BELIEVE IN YOURSELF"


















Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others,
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Don't set your goals by what other people deem important,
Only you know what is best for you.
Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart
Cling to that as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.
Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
Don't give up when you still have something to give
Nothing is really over … until the moment you stop trying.
Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect,
It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Don't be afraid to encounter risks,
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tightly,
And the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Don't dismiss your Dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope.
To be without hope is to be without purpose.
Don't run through life so fast that you forget where you've been,
But also know where you're going.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored every step of the way.

"Learn how to Relax"

1.Make healthy food choices. Sugar and caffeine are your enemies, as they both cause severe ups and downs, upsetting your body's ability to regulate energy. Instead of sugary, carbohydrate loaded snacks (like cookies or granola bars), eat fresh fruits and whole grain breads or crackers (sugar-free). Make sure you get plenty of low-calorie protein, like that found in chicken, fish, whole grains, beans, dark leafy vegetables, or low-fat dairy.

2.Find a quiet place when you are feeling overwhelmed. Even the stall of a bathroom will work if you have no other place to go.

3.Close your eyes and picture your own personal paradise. Put yourself there and imagine the setting. What do you see around you? Is there a breeze? What do you hear--birds? Waves? Water? Imagine yourself thoroughly enjoying every moment here in your special place.

4.Breathe. Inhale deeply, counting to five, then exhale slowly, counting to five. Do this ten times.

5.Relax in bed. Take a bath, play soft music, and lay down in bed. Read a book and clear your mind of all the stress and rush of the day.

6.Avoid people who are constantly angry or complain. Stress can be contagious, so avoid transmitters.

7.Stop engaging in behaviors that make you feel guilty. Seek help from a professional if necessary, but don't allow destructive behavior to sabotage your life and your health. Guilt is a potent source of stress, so get rid of the source of guilt by behaving yourself.

8.Exercise every day. You don't need to work out like a body builder or celebrity. At least twenty minutes (or more, if you like) every day of moderate activity, like walking or bike-riding, is the best known, scientifically proven way to significantly reduce stress. Walk on a treadmill every day for twenty minutes, take the stairs instead of the elevator, and park a little further away from the entrance to stores. You will be amazed at how much easier you overcome stress when you exercise regularly.

9.Learn to prioritize. Make a list of tasks you must accomplish that day. Put the most important things at the top and list every task in descending order of importance. Learn to be proactive and take care of things before they become a problem, then your time will be more productive and you will feel less stress.

10.Draw a warm bath, light candles around your tub, dim the lights, add bubbles, lavender, or just keep the water plain.

11.You can curl up on your couch with a blanket, and a good book, maybe even a cup of tea or cocoa.

12.Do yoga; it relaxes your body, and helps clear your mind.

13.Go to your local spa for a great massage. You will feel so great afterwards.

14.Lay on your bed or sofa, have some soft music playing in the background (or nature Cd's) and listen to ocean waves, waterfalls, or birds. Some new age music is very relaxing (such as Enya)

15.Go for a walk. If you live near a park with a fountain, or near a beach or lake, the calming sound of water will soothe you. Just a regular walk will also relax you.

16.If you can, go swimming, either at your local pool, a friend or relatives home, or in a lake. Swimming is great for reducing stress.

17.Do the activities or hobbies that relax you (fishing, sewing, singing, painting, taking photographs), whatever it is that keeps your mind off the things that normally stress you out, or things that you just need a break from every now and then.

18.It might sound cheesy, but hang out with your pet (like your dog, cat, bird, etc). Talk to your pet about all the stress and anxiety you've been going through and you'll feel a lot better. Or just cuddle or play with your pet. They'll love it and so will you.

19.Think positively.

Drink tea instead of coffee.

Smile and laugh. Laughing releases endorphins, which fight stress, help you relax, and remind you that life is about more than work. Make it a point to smile more, even if it feels strange at first.

When you first start cutting excess sugar from your diet you will crave it terribly. Be strong! After a couple of days the cravings will subside and you will notice (already) how much better you feel.

Take a multi-vitamin; some vitamins help relieve stress.
Lower your shoulders to help relax

Avoid toxic people! People who try to guilt you into doing things, or tell you you're not good enough, are people you should spend minimal time with (yes, even if they are family). Your life and health are YOUR responsibility.

If stress is causing serious problems such as headaches or other symptoms, seek help from a doctor.

Millions of people become unknowingly addicted to drugs and alcohol during times of severe stress. Be the strong person that you are and do not let this happen. One of the hardest parts of dealing with stress is recognizing and avoiding temptation.

"How Do I Love Me?"

"The secret to finding true love begins with you. " It is so important that we nourish ourselves -- body, mind and spirit -- and treat ourselves like goddesses. Being kind to oneself is a healthy habit to get into, and the best way to get into the groove is to set aside "Goddess Time" each week for you, and you alone! We give so much to others, why be stingy with ourselves? Whether in a relationship, hoping to be, or simply enjoying single life, a date with ones self is a powerful metaphor for self-nourishment. And it is the first and most important step toward a balanced, loving relationships with others.
Where to begin? Imagine there is someone in your life you can depend on to pamper, heal and revitalize you, and treat you royally -- for at least a few undisturbed hours each week. Now, imagine that "someone" is YOU. Pick something that would bring you great pleasure -- an activity, an experience, or a material gift -- and agree to give it to yourself.

"Start off with something simple." Try a "self-love bath." Crown yourself Queen for a Day or Goddess for several hours a week -- and pamper yourself. Buy beautiful candles, scented oils, flowers. Draw a bath. Play relaxing and sensual music. Slip into the warm water, daydream and allow yourself to bask in the energy of love. It truly creates an impression in your own mind and spirit that you are someone who deserves royal treatment and who is willing to receive it! I cannot tell you how much a simple act of self-love will bring you closer to receiving pampering from others. At the most basic level -- a nice warm bath with candles is very relaxing and it gives you a chance to meditate. and get a new perspective on life.
How do I love me, let me count the ways. Other simple delights include: light a candle and relax in a favorite chair for 15 minutes; take yourself to a movie, out to dinner or to a museum exhibit you've been meaning to see; buy yourself a small gift. The best way to keep your soul nourished is to create an ongoing environment for this nourishment.

"Date yourself regularly": Many of us take time out for ourselves just once in awhile and neglect to create the foundation for ongoing revitalization. Why not carve out time and put things in order so that you can access these experiences of self-love and care, regularly. This may mean keeping your favorite bath oil and candles on hand at all times. or ensuring that you have several hours a week alone, to yourself. Think of it this way. if you were dating someone special, wouldn't you go out of your way to make dates and focus attention on the relationship? Do it for yourself, first. this sets the groundwork for others to treat you like the goddess you are!