SIGNS THAT IT IS LOVE

What he’ll do:

Put you on his “A” list (pay attention -- You'll know if you're not on it)
Introduce you to his family
Make plans for the future (near and far)
Do things outside of his “box” with you
Share his secrets and his dreams for the future with you
Worry about impressing your friends
Come right over when you ask him to
Try to do things that comfort you or relieve some of your stress (like surprise you with dinner on a night you are working, rub your feet, or ask about your day)
Appreciate and reciprocate your feelings and your actions like giving you a massage after he gets one from you, doing the dishes after dinner, or sending you a gift

What she’ll do:

Share her embarrassing moments and fantasies with you
Little things all throughout the day that let you know she’s thinking about you
Fantasize about her life with you, getting married, having kids, growing old, traveling the world, etc.
Tease you
Hang out with your mother or talk to her on the phone
Appreciate and reciprocate your feelings and your actions, like offering to pay for dinner, getting tickets to a game or event she knows you’ll love, or cooking for you
Ask questions about your life -- past, present, and future
Flirt with you

How you’ll feel:

Excited, yet relaxed
Vulnerable, yet strong
Comfortable enough to be yourself in front of them
Like you want to include them in everything (but you won't desert your usual crowd to be in a relationship with them)
You’ll miss them when they’re not around
You can’t wait to see them, talk to them, play with them, and kiss them
You’ll find yourself wanting to make plans to have them all to yourself
You’ll have urges to do romantic things (maybe on the verge of stalker-like things) that you never thought you’d never do

Signs that it’s not love:

They blow you off or cancel dates
Talking about commitment makes either of you uneasy or nervous
Either of you are seeing other people
Things are moving too quickly for one of you
You find your partner lacking when compared to other people
You watch a love scene in a movie or hear a love song and you feel a strong longing or desire for what you don’t have

Tips before you commit:

Take the time to compare who you have with who you know deep down that you desire and deserve. Likewise, compare the relationship you have with the one you know you really want.
Pay attention to how they treat their friends, family, business associates, and strangers. This is a good indication of how they will treat you over time and a big insight into their overall character.
Ask yourself how well you know them and how well they know you.

I am beautiful


Not only because of the curve of my hips
Or the shape of my body
Not only because of the fullness of my lips
Or the curl of my eye lashes

I am beautiful because I want to be
I am beautiful because God made me that way
I am beautiful because in my eyes
There is no one more beautiful than me

I am beautiful because I have a heart
And that is a beautiful thing
I am beautiful because I have a brain
And that is a beautiful thing
I am beautiful because I give advice
And that is a beautiful thing

I am beautiful because I want to be
I am beautiful because God made me that way
I am beautiful because in my eyes
There is no one more beautiful than me

I am beautiful because I have confidence
I am beautiful because I have determination and wit
I am beautiful because I have goals and I plan to reach them
I am beautiful because I am always there to lend a helping hand

I am beautiful because I want to be
I am beautiful because God made me that way
I am beautiful because in my eyes
There is no one more beautiful than me ...

Tips to End Procrastination and Self Doubt.

Self doubt and lack of motivation are the cause of personal failures in the lives of millions of people. Not living up to your true potential can lead to anger and depression. Overcoming procrastination and building a positive self image is not impossible. There are some very practical steps you can take that will lead you to personal success and keep you motivated.

Fear of failure (or success) and a lack of energy leads to procrastination. People who procrastinate become frustrated and generally accomplish nothing. To change this negative behavior, you must first identify the things that cause you to procrastinate in the first place. Feelings of fear, rejection, and unworthiness take a real toll on your self-esteem. Taking steps to improve your self-esteem will make a huge difference in your energy level and will motivate you to make other positive changes in your life.

Human beings are motivated by two things: pleasure and pain. Make a list of the things you would like to accomplish and how you will reward yourself when you do reach your goals. When you are making your list, be sure to include the consequences you will suffer by procrastinating.

Keeping the reward in mind will make it easier to stay motivated. Overcoming irrational fears and phobias are crucial to your self-esteem and energy level. The act of procrastinating itself creates self-esteem issues. Guilt, stress, and anxiety are results of low self esteem and lack of motivation.

Procrastination is a habitual behavior. You can break the cycle of self doubt and procrastination if you make the decision to do so. Keep a list of the things you need to accomplish, both long and short term goals, and reward yourself for each thing you cross off your list. It is not easy to break old habits, but it can be done and soon you will find that the new behavior is second nature.

Keep in mind that your emotional health is closely related to your physical health. A sensible diet and exercise will do wonders for your self-image.

You will find that when you make an effort to change your negative behavior you will have more energy and your self-esteem will soar. Procrastination will no longer control your life and you will be motivated to accomplish your goals. You can change your self-image and become a highly motivated individual if you take the time to find out why you lack motivation and take steps to improve your self-esteem.

THERE IS ALWAYS A BETTER PLAN.

Understanding that God forgives your past, gave you a new life, knows your present and has planned your future, let you walk in the confidence that nothing can ever happen to you that is beyond the scope of the His grace and love. Christ is your beginning and your ending. Its means that you are in-between, secured in His love, mercy and knowledge.

As a Christian, you are commanded to build others up by highlighting what’s good in them instead of magnifying what’s bad, by seeing them as unique individuals instead of stereotypes, by respecting instead of ridiculing them, by forgiving instead of shaming them, by modeling unconditional love instead of love with strings attached, by applauding each step of growth instead of saying, “you will never change”, by seeing their God-given potential instead of seeing them as problems to be handled and by seeing them the eyes of love, for GOD IS LOVE.

"Forever Love"

Love stays when it would be easier to go. Love endures long past the point of lost patience. Love sees past physical imperfections and age to the beautiful heart of a person. Love says I'll stay with you even if your body is ravaged by disease, even though I feel like I might die of wanting to make love under a clear blue sky, but never will because you can't do it with me and I'll never leave.

Love stays past the point of frustration. Love tries again and again and again. Love is patient.

Love isn't infatuation or lust or a fuzzy, feel good thing. It's not comprised of candy coated words, nor does it need endless affirmation. Love can hurt like hell. It can sting. It almost always involves doing the hard thing and not what's easy.

Forever love only happens when two people endure and MAKE IT forever love. It's not something one can fall into or out of. It's something that we create over time, again and again, every time we choose to stay, until eventually the line between us blurs and we're so "one" we can't tell where you end and I begin and the skin on our hands is paper thin and spotted.

©Just Kate

I obviously can't encapsulate "forever love." This is simply how I see it today. ♥

Just a piece of advice

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive Don't go for wealth; even that fades away Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright find the one that makes your heart smile.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in the other's shoes If you feel that it hurts you, it will probably hurt the other person too.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along the way.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't get on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED...



I love this quote by Emerson. Isn’t it true?

Just last night in an airport bar I was chatting with a new friend, whom I had made over a spilled beer (hers!) -about the self-confidence that comes with maturity. We were talking about how great it is and laughing, saying, ‘if we ONLY knew then what we knew now!’ Some of this conversation centered around men... dating... and sex, but primarily it was about just about being and feeling confident. You know, confident enough to feel good about yourself inside and out.... confident enough to make sound decisions that weren’t sacrificial of one’s self worth. Confidence to just be ourselves and find happiness in that.

I believe that we women struggle with identity and self confidence more so than men, especially while in our twenties. I think it is fair to say that many of us in our youth were completely oblivious to our self worth, our own beauty and our own abilities.

I still struggle with it some, but thanks to real love and good friends I think it’s less than before and truly less than when I was younger. And a lack of self confidence can really fuck with your life.... I know it did mine! In hind sight I would say that the things I did back then and many of the youthful mistakes that I made were a result of that lack of confidence.

But the resulting mistakes and experiences are now part of the current fabric of me. They are the experiences of the day... they all make up the wisdom that Emerson refers to... it is what makes me, me today... what makes YOU, YOU.

My friend CC had posted her anniversary blog last week and in that blog she recounted those people in her life that had made the greatest impact on who she is today. I really loved that blog... It was the threads of her tapestry. We all have them. And like with influential mentors and guides, our experiences, good and bad, create beautiful facets of wisdom and insight that only come with time. Happy times AND painful times. We all experience them, they chisel at us, form us, mold us, and even painfully force us into our place. And then one day we are able to wake up and say, “Oh. Okay. I think I get it.” At that point we can stop fighting and be confident in ourselves. We are coming into our own. There is relief.

If you have followed my blogs in the last few years you know that I’ve been all over the emotional spectrum. And I have struggled a lot this last year in particular. There have been some blessings, but also lots and lots of struggles.

Honestly, I spent the majority of the last five months locked in my bedroom. I kid you not. I did take a few trips but I literally had to drag my ass out of the house. It was not easy. But it saved me.

When you have been facing the types of obstacles, roadblocks and disappointments that I have, eventually you just kinda break. Even the strongest of the strong just give in... but that can be good, particularly for those of us that might have been just a t-tad too self-confident to begin with... but wrongly so. There is something to be said in an attitude adjustment... you know... Break the spirit, awaken the mind, and rekindle the heart. Discover who you really are... Not who you THOUGHT you were... I think that is pretty much what has happened to me. I was foolin' myself and pretty darn well I might add. There is continuing discovery. And it is good.

The things I have learned about myself in the process have made me incredibly... well... incredibly whole. I have reached a point in my life where I do not feel the need to apologize for myself, my past, or choices. I am human. I will fail, I will succeed, I will disappoint, and I will even get lucky from time to time and please... but I will never be just one of those things and I will never be perfect. And you know what? THAT is okay.

I have also learned that when you let your guard down and show your friends and loved ones that you are only human that you can be blessed. They can help you. They will help you, willingly, without solicitation even.

Prior to this last year I NEVER let my guard down. It didn’t matter what was going on with me I put on a happy face and went on my way... saving my breakdowns for locked doors only. But I reached a point where that was just impossible. In reality, asking for help, support, confidence or encouragement is why we have friends. They aren’t just for beer and barbecues anymore. If they are real friends, they are there to be your friend through thick and thin... to love you when you are up and when you are down. I have learned that they will save you from yourself if you will only let them. But you have to let them.

The experiences of my past now allow me to wake up every morning, look in the mirror and be thankful for each and every day. Even those days when I didn’t really know what I would do or how I would cope. Days when I would literally lock myself in my bedroom and contemplate everything and nothing... I appreciate those days too. I do indeed feel like I’m coming out of the dark forest and back out into the light. Things just kind of prove themselves out I guess. If we are patient, watch for signs, and more importantly, listen to our hearts - things work out if they are meant to be.

I have learned that love will find you when you aren’t looking.

I have also learned that it doesn’t matter what logic you attempt to apply to it. It doesn’t matter what your seven year plan is or how you plan to control your own universe, things will often have their way with you despite your best efforts to thwart them.

I have learned sometimes you need to get out of your own way. And when you do, things only get better.