E.Q.

Definition of emotional intelligence

Controlling and managing emotions

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, acknowledge, manage and handle your emotions in such a way that promotes personal growth. Think of someone who projects his anger on his small child just because he had a fight with his manager or think of a driver who shouts at other drivers in the street just because the hot weather was irritating for him, both are examples of people who aren’t emotionally intelligent.

Emotionally intelligent people know the real reasons for their emotions and thus they don’t confuse them with other factors nor do they get their past involved in the decisions they take. If your best friend betrayed you in the past and then you developed a fear of trusting anybody then you are not applying emotional intelligence in your life.

Emotional intelligence is a way of identifying and managing your emotions in such a way that promotes a happier and a healthier life.

Failing to recognize your emotions

Lots of people feel bad without knowing why and the majority of them blame incorrect reasons for the bad feelings they are having.

Why do you think some people become bad tempered when they are stressed? Those people have weak stress management abilities yet they always think that other people are are the ones to be balmed instead of acknowledging their own weaknesses. If those people were to understand that they have became bad tempered because of their lack of stress management abilities then they would have taken the first step towards becoming emotionally intelligent.

Some people think that they are bored because the place they live in is boring but the truth is that they are bored because something inside them needs a fix and not the place they live in.

some people spend years suffering from a breakup thinking that they loved that person while the truth is that they only needed him to compensate for one of their personal weakness. In my book How to get over anyone in few days I described how can some people keep suffering from a breakup for a long time even if the reason for suffering was something else other than loving the person.

Some people feel depressed thinking that their life style promotes depression while the truth is that there is a deeply buried issue in their minds that they are afraid to bring to the surface.(see when he deceives you)

There are lots and lots of examples of people who failed to recognize the real reasons for their unwanted emotions and the result in all cases is the same, becoming unhappy and dissatisfied.

how to become emotionally intelligent

The steps for becoming emotionally intelligent are clear and well known but applying them requires lots of hard work in addition to a solid discipline. The first thing you should do in order to become emotionally intelligent is to learn how to identify the real reasons for your emotions instead of blaming other innocent factors for them. After recognizing your emotions its then the time to handle them in an intelligent way, knowing that you are angry because you had a fight with your manager should help you prevent yourself from shouting at your small child and should help you to think of a way to express your anger peacefully without harming innocent people.

In summary, if you understood your emotions then learned how to channel them in a way that doesn’t cause harm to you or to the people around you, then you will become an emotionally intelligent person.

"The Meaning of Love"

Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness. Depending on context, love can have a wide variety of intended meanings. It is commonly conceived of romantically, as a deep, ineffable feeling of intense and tender attraction shared in passionate or intimate interpersonal and sexual relationships. Love can also be conceived of as Platonic love, religious love, familial love, and, more casually, anything considered strongly pleasurable, desirable, or preferred, including activities and foods.This diverse range of meanings in the singular word love is often contrasted with the plurality of Greek words for love, reflecting the concept's depth, versatility, and complexity.


The definition of love is the subject of considerable debate, enduring speculation, and thoughtful introspection. In ordinary use, love usually refers to interpersonal love, an experience felt by a person for another person. Love often involves caring for or identifying with a person or thing, including oneself (cf. narcissism). Dictionaries tend to define love as deep affection or fondness. In colloquial use, according to polled opinion, the most favored definitions of love involve altruism, selflessness, friendship, union, family, and bonding or connecting with another.

The different aspects of love can be roughly illustrated by comparing their corollaries and opposites. As a general expression of positive sentiment (a stronger form of like), love is commonly contrasted with hate (or neutral apathy); as a less sexual and more mutual and "pure" form of romantic attachment, love is commonly contrasted with lust; and as an interpersonal relationship with romantic overtones, love is commonly contrasted with friendship, although other connotations of love may be applied to close friendships as well.

The very existence of love is sometimes subject to debate. Some categorically reject the notion as false or meaningless.[citation needed] Others call it a recently-invented abstraction, sometimes dating the "invention" to courtly Europe during or after the Middle Ages.

Cultural differences make any universal definition of love difficult to establish. Expressions of love may include the love for a soul or mind, the love of laws and organizations, love for a body, love for nature, love of food, love of money, love for learning, love of power, love of fame, love for the respect of others, etc. Different people place varying degrees of importance on the kinds of love they receive. Love is essentially an abstract concept,[citation needed] easier to experience than to explain. Because of the complex and abstract nature of love, discourse on love is commonly reduced to a thought-terminating cliché, and there are a number of common proverbs regarding love, from Virgil's "Love conquers all" to The Beatles' "All you need is love".

Scientific views

Biology of love

Biological models of sex tend to view love as a mammalian drive,[citation needed] much like hunger or thirst. Helen Fisher, a leading expert in the topic of love, divides the experience of love into three partly-overlapping stages: lust, attraction, and attachment.

Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months. Attraction is the more individualized and romantic desire for a specific candidate for mating, which develops out of lust as commitment to an individual mate forms. Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that as people fall in love, the brain consistently releases a certain set of chemicals, including dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, which act similar to amphetamines, stimulating the brain's pleasure center and leading to side-effects such as an increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement. Research has indicated that this stage generally lasts from one and a half to three years.

Since the lust and attraction stages are both considered temporary, a third stage is needed to account for long-term relationships. Attachment is the bonding which promotes relationships that last for many years, and even decades. Attachment is generally based on commitments such as marriage and children, or on mutual friendship based on things like shared interests. It has been linked to higher levels of the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin than short-term relationships have.

Psychology of love
Further information: Human bonding

Psychology depicts love as a cognitive and social phenomenon. Psychologist Robert Sternberg formulated a triangular theory of love and argued that love has three different components: Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Intimacy is a form by which two people can share secrets and various details of their personal lives. Intimacy is usually shown in friendships and romantic love affairs. Commitment, on the other hand, is the expectation that the relationship is going to last forever. The last and most common form of love is sexual attraction and passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as well as romantic love. This led researchers such as Yela[citation needed] to further refine the model by separating Passion into two independents components: Erotic Passion and Romantic Passion.

Following developments in electrical theories, such as Coulomb's law, which showed that positive and negative charges attract, analogs in human life were developed, such as "opposites attract". Over the last century, research on the nature of human mating, such as in evolutionary psychology, agree that pairs unite or attract to each other owing to a combination of opposites attract, e.g. people with dissimilar immune systems tend to attract, and likes attract, such as similarities of personality, character, views, etc. In recent years, various human bonding theories have been developed described in terms of attachments, ties, bonds, and or affinities.

Some Western authorities disaggregate into two main components, the altruistic and the narcissistic. This view is represented in the works of Scott Peck, whose works in the field of applied psychology explored the definitions of love and evil. Peck maintains that love is a combination of the"'concern for the spiritual growth of another", and simple narcissism. In combination, love is an activity, not simply a feeling.