Honesty & Integrity

I want to talk for a minute; to be open with you. Something that is very important to me is integrity and honesty. I always strive to be as honest and open about myself as I can. Perhaps this is a throw-back to my Christian background and Jesus’ harsh stance against hypocrisy: the last thing I ever want is to be a hypocrite.

Anyone who has followed my blogs for a while has hopefully learned that each and every blog of mine is honest. It is a record of my honest opinions/thoughts/beliefs at the time of writing. I have never deleted a controversial blog, because I want to show that I have the integrity to stand by what I’ve written, and own any wrong calls I’ve made. I also don’t make a habit of deleting comments because I think that it also shows integrity that I allow opposing opinions to be there for all to see.

I’ve made a commitment to you and myself to try and write more positive and uplifting blogs. And I do want to do that, but I don’t want anyone thinking that I am always happy or that I put on a mask for the sake of proving a point. I’m sharing this with you because I want to continue to write whatever is on my mind and that includes when I am in a bad mood. I want you to know that I still stand by my commitment to spread positive ideas, but in order to show my integrity I feel it’s necessary for me to also show that I am human.

Plus, the greatest purpose my blogs serve is ultimately for my enjoyment. They are my therapy, my way of processing my thoughts and my way of providing further meaning to my life by spreading ideas I think will help make the world a better place. And I have learned so, so very much from the people who comment on my blogs. Thank you.

"Importance Of Emotional Intelligence"

Emotional Intelligence

We usually believe that intelligent people succeed in life. However, according to psychologists, the intelligence, in its place, is undoubtedly important, but the success does not depend solely on intelligence. In fact the success depends on a hidden talent which guides us to lead a successful life and makes us capable of achieving better prospects in life. The social psychologists believe that for an individual, to be intelligent only, is not sufficient, but it is also necessary that his own personality should be such that it may be helpful for best utilization of the intellect.

Also, it is a fact that these two capabilities are present together in very few individuals. Individuals who are capable of controlling their emotions and intellect at the same time, in fact, know the art of remaining happy and successful for long periods of time and simultaneously they execute their virtues on the social attitudes.

Those who possess the capability of controlling their emotions, act according to the circumstances, become famous for their hard work and confidence and gain the trust of others. On the other hand, those who are very enthusiastic, impatient, emotional and unstable regarding their temperament, are usually not only successful, but, due to their obstinacy in their practical life and by implementing their own ideas and desires, soon fall prey to a feeling of deprivation and accept the failure quickly.

Those, who, instead of making haste in achieving their needs, practise patience, as a matter of fact, conquer their emotions by their wisdom. This act is the manifestation of emotional intelligence, by virtue of which, an individual compromizes with even worst circumstances.

Emotional intelligence, in fact, comprizes of qualities such as good attitude, better behaviour with others, civilized habits and decency, patience and sobriety. Therefore it may be accepted that we can make our conduct better and mature, by virtue of the above-mentioned qualities. Besides, these qualities also prove helpful for achieving better relations with others, better performance, successful married life, and higher goals regarding social and economic aspects of life.

Out of us, those who are capable of understanding that what may be the reaction of others in response to any matter, can lead their lives in a better way. Many of us, in states of anger, anxiety, frustration and hardship, do not care that such frank expression of emotions may cast what type of impressions on others who are associated with them. But those who possess the emotional intelligence can exercise self-control in such situations and if there is a need of emotional expression, they do adopt a suitable way for expressing their emotions To express anger, is an easy job, but Aristotle says
‘’ On the right person, at right time and for a right purpose, it is not easy to express anger in a right manner.’’

If we observe ourselves collectively , we would find that we are such a nation which is least capable of expressing emotional intelligence. We do not have the moral courage for accepting realities. Our tendency to fulfil our needs and wishes, over night,, leads us to the indecent and dishonest acts. And we must appreciate that by adopting such undesireable actions, the success and happiness which is achieved is not long lasting. Nothing is achieved except bad reputation and repentance .

We have many shortcomings regarding moral and conduct, because we want our will to be implemented in all matters and do not allow others to have their due rights. We do not attach any importance to the likings or dislikings of others. We do not respect others and do not pay regards to them. We are gradually running short of many virtues as conduct, decency and gentleness.

To find out the faults of others and dig out the secrets about their short comings, has become our favorite past time. We are deceitful, accuse others and are negligent in routine responsibilities. Inspite of doing all this, we, instead of feeling ashamed, about our wrong, indecent and illegal acts, we think that we are on the right path. All this , is a definite proof of our inferior emotional intelligence. Nevertheless , we should remain hopeful, because, according to psychologists, by making firm decisions and practising perseverance , we can improve the emotional intelligence.

"Wisdom"

LEARNING WISDOM.

Wisdom is the knowledge and ability to make right choice at the right time.The greatest wisdom comes from God.

Meditating in his words will bring you wisdom. Wisdom also come from experience; as you mature, you learn from your experiences.

This includes learning from your past mistakes, weaknesses and problems.

As compost makes the soil richer, so even problems, weaknesses, mistakes detours and losses can enrich your life and help you cultivate wisdom only when you learn from them.

Wisdom isn't about how smart you are, or that you always make the right choices.

It's about God's compassionate ways.

E.Q.

Definition of emotional intelligence

Controlling and managing emotions

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, acknowledge, manage and handle your emotions in such a way that promotes personal growth. Think of someone who projects his anger on his small child just because he had a fight with his manager or think of a driver who shouts at other drivers in the street just because the hot weather was irritating for him, both are examples of people who aren’t emotionally intelligent.

Emotionally intelligent people know the real reasons for their emotions and thus they don’t confuse them with other factors nor do they get their past involved in the decisions they take. If your best friend betrayed you in the past and then you developed a fear of trusting anybody then you are not applying emotional intelligence in your life.

Emotional intelligence is a way of identifying and managing your emotions in such a way that promotes a happier and a healthier life.

Failing to recognize your emotions

Lots of people feel bad without knowing why and the majority of them blame incorrect reasons for the bad feelings they are having.

Why do you think some people become bad tempered when they are stressed? Those people have weak stress management abilities yet they always think that other people are are the ones to be balmed instead of acknowledging their own weaknesses. If those people were to understand that they have became bad tempered because of their lack of stress management abilities then they would have taken the first step towards becoming emotionally intelligent.

Some people think that they are bored because the place they live in is boring but the truth is that they are bored because something inside them needs a fix and not the place they live in.

some people spend years suffering from a breakup thinking that they loved that person while the truth is that they only needed him to compensate for one of their personal weakness. In my book How to get over anyone in few days I described how can some people keep suffering from a breakup for a long time even if the reason for suffering was something else other than loving the person.

Some people feel depressed thinking that their life style promotes depression while the truth is that there is a deeply buried issue in their minds that they are afraid to bring to the surface.(see when he deceives you)

There are lots and lots of examples of people who failed to recognize the real reasons for their unwanted emotions and the result in all cases is the same, becoming unhappy and dissatisfied.

how to become emotionally intelligent

The steps for becoming emotionally intelligent are clear and well known but applying them requires lots of hard work in addition to a solid discipline. The first thing you should do in order to become emotionally intelligent is to learn how to identify the real reasons for your emotions instead of blaming other innocent factors for them. After recognizing your emotions its then the time to handle them in an intelligent way, knowing that you are angry because you had a fight with your manager should help you prevent yourself from shouting at your small child and should help you to think of a way to express your anger peacefully without harming innocent people.

In summary, if you understood your emotions then learned how to channel them in a way that doesn’t cause harm to you or to the people around you, then you will become an emotionally intelligent person.