I'm Not That Girl

I won't be that girl



I don't want this to end.
This.
Whatever this is...


Everything happened exactly how it was supposed to.
Slowly.
Cautiously.
Moderately.
Safely.


I was so careful with you.
I followed all of the rules that society has set for us.
Tell me, where did I go wrong?
It isn't about the other girls.
I knew all along.
Just like you knew.
It was about being treated equally.
Having the same privileges.
Not having to hide my existance.
For once in my life, I stand up for myself.
What do I get?
"I'm upset for no reason."
"I'm being so immature."
"I'm acting like a child."
"I'm just so stupid."
Right?
Wrong.
I won't be that girl.
The girl that hides in the shadows.
Waiting...
Waiting...
Contemplating...

Wasting her life away waiting on you.
I won't be that girl.
I could very easily get you back.
You're only a phone call away.
But I refuse to do that.
I am not in the wrong here.
I've looked at it from every angle.
And...
I
didn't
do
this.


To say that my heart's broken would be an understatement.
Nothing can be healed if you keep it covered up.


Well, I let my wounds out in the open and now they're infected.
I've ripped off the bandaid and it's completely in your hands now.

I won't go back on the promise I made to myself.
I won't beg for you to fix me.
I won't change my mind.
I won't wait for you.
I won't be that girl.

The State Of Ignorance

Disclaimer: This is not directed at any one person. More like the human race as a whole.

I have no hope for the human race. Intellectualism is dying. Nobody thinks anymore, they just merely cry with outrage at anything that makes their lives even remotely uncomfortable. Pleasure, that’s all this generation cares about. Whatever can make their lives easier. They don’t pay attention to the issues of the world, just what’s going to make them the happiest.

Each generation seems to be less intelligent then the one before it, less able to think for itself, more ignorant of the world around it. You can see it every day. Each freshman class that has come after mine seems to be worse than the last.

For example, my AP Literature teacher also teaches normal freshman classes. Looking at the way they paraphrase the works of Shakespeare are simply embarrassing. It’s clear they gave no effort at all into the thought of the greatest literary genius of all time. One of them even spelt Shakespeare and person wrong. Then refused to correct it when they were told the right way to spell it.

A Recipe Of A New You

Many people claim that they have the key to success in life, and if you follow their simple formula your problems will just disappear. Yet how many of them actually give you the results you are looking for? Following a new path can lead you only as far as you're willing to go with it, but eventually if the underlying problem isn't corrected and instead masked by other things, you'll regress.

However, we all have what it takes to make a permanent change in our lives. The ingredients are inside us and accessible. Anyone is able to transform themselves with enough know-how.

Promises

Promises

At the waters edge,
she waits each day,

for the one she loved
and loves still to this day.

To give up hope of his return,
is to concede to death,

for to live without him,
would be a life of despair...
the darkness would engulf her.

The crashing waves below,
sometimes to her they beckon,
promising sleep below their surface.

The blackbird cries,
an invitation to death;
promising sweet relief
of her unending anguish.

She gives herself a shake,
and lifts her head up high,
reminds herself of his love,
and of his promise to return.

My Husband (still missing in action "LoL")

Dear Mr. Husband Man,

Even though I don't know exactly who you'll be yet (I have my ideas), I think of you often. I wonder how you're living your life now. It matters to me, you know, because how you live your life now determines the kind of man you're becoming...and the kind of man I'll spend the rest of my life with. I know you’re out there. You might be the person right in front of my face. You might be someone I don’t know. Not yet anyway. I might be 86 by the time we meet, but at least we will have finally found each other. I can feel you if I shut my eyes tight enough. I know you will love me like no one ever has. I know you will understand me.

You’ll help me open myself up, let myself go. I think your patience will compliment my impulsiveness. You’ll be the calm to my storm and I to yours. Magic. It exists. I’ve seen it. Have you? Or have you just seen glimmers of it? You must believe in it though because you’re my future husband and that’s a job requirement – one of the reasons why I’ll love you so much. So…where are you? When are you going to pop into my life? How is it going to happen?

Will we ever even meet? I wonder what you’re doing right now?

It’s a Saturday.

You’re probably home. Working on something. I think you like to work a lot…or maybe you’ve finished working and you’re reading, writing or creating before you crawl into bed. Maybe you’re at work. Or maybe even (I can only hope), you’re dreaming of me as I am of you. I love you. Or at least I love the idea of you. I hope you love me. Or the idea of me. We should start loving each other now, because we’ll love each other forever.

Love, Someday, Always, Yours at heart, Your future wife,


G R E T Z E N

WHAT A TRUE FRIEND IS

Thought I'd share some of my favorite quotes about what a true friend is....

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words"

"A real friend is the one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out"

"What is a friend? It is a person with whom you dare to be yourself."

"I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly"

"In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends" (this is good and I can relate to it..I've had people who are around when things are going well, but disappear when I am going through tough times and need a friend to lean on)

"A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be somewhere else"

"Real friends are those who, when you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel that you've done a permanent job"

"When it hurts to look back, and you're too scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there"

"My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me"

"One Man's Dream"

Let me give all that I can, whenever I can, to all that I can. It is a simple plan for the remaining time here on this good earth. It is a cleansing of one's soul. When I have given all that I can, and loved all I that I can, it completes me.

My dream is for all people on Earth to have faith in a greater power than us. Every little thing around you is from a divine plan. Every storm in life is a lesson to be learned. Every smile and every tear is witnessed. The very moon was placed exactly in the right place in the heavens. One little shift of the moon and the oceans would overtake the land. The sun was placed exactly in the right place. One little shift of the sun and the entire world would be a desert.

Man only thinks he can control life around him. Man controls nothing. What he has tried to control, he has destroyed. I share with you these things that you already know. When we all go to bed at the end of the day no matter who you are, a king, a beggar, a president, a rich man, a poor man, a doctor, a mechanic, a teacher, a preacher, all lay their heads down and sometimes think what is this really all about? Is this all that there is? Is there more?

Yes there is more.......I believe with all of my being that there is more! This life with all it's beauty and also all it's hurting, is only but a step into the gates of forever and ever. So enjoy everything that is given to you, good and bad. And live each day like it is your last here on earth.

And remember to give something back, whenever you can. This is just my dream, what may be yours?