I'm Not That Girl

I won't be that girl



I don't want this to end.
This.
Whatever this is...


Everything happened exactly how it was supposed to.
Slowly.
Cautiously.
Moderately.
Safely.


I was so careful with you.
I followed all of the rules that society has set for us.
Tell me, where did I go wrong?
It isn't about the other girls.
I knew all along.
Just like you knew.
It was about being treated equally.
Having the same privileges.
Not having to hide my existance.
For once in my life, I stand up for myself.
What do I get?
"I'm upset for no reason."
"I'm being so immature."
"I'm acting like a child."
"I'm just so stupid."
Right?
Wrong.
I won't be that girl.
The girl that hides in the shadows.
Waiting...
Waiting...
Contemplating...

Wasting her life away waiting on you.
I won't be that girl.
I could very easily get you back.
You're only a phone call away.
But I refuse to do that.
I am not in the wrong here.
I've looked at it from every angle.
And...
I
didn't
do
this.


To say that my heart's broken would be an understatement.
Nothing can be healed if you keep it covered up.


Well, I let my wounds out in the open and now they're infected.
I've ripped off the bandaid and it's completely in your hands now.

I won't go back on the promise I made to myself.
I won't beg for you to fix me.
I won't change my mind.
I won't wait for you.
I won't be that girl.

My Husband (still missing in action "LoL")

Dear Mr. Husband Man,

Even though I don't know exactly who you'll be yet (I have my ideas), I think of you often. I wonder how you're living your life now. It matters to me, you know, because how you live your life now determines the kind of man you're becoming...and the kind of man I'll spend the rest of my life with. I know you’re out there. You might be the person right in front of my face. You might be someone I don’t know. Not yet anyway. I might be 86 by the time we meet, but at least we will have finally found each other. I can feel you if I shut my eyes tight enough. I know you will love me like no one ever has. I know you will understand me.

You’ll help me open myself up, let myself go. I think your patience will compliment my impulsiveness. You’ll be the calm to my storm and I to yours. Magic. It exists. I’ve seen it. Have you? Or have you just seen glimmers of it? You must believe in it though because you’re my future husband and that’s a job requirement – one of the reasons why I’ll love you so much. So…where are you? When are you going to pop into my life? How is it going to happen?

Will we ever even meet? I wonder what you’re doing right now?

It’s a Saturday.

You’re probably home. Working on something. I think you like to work a lot…or maybe you’ve finished working and you’re reading, writing or creating before you crawl into bed. Maybe you’re at work. Or maybe even (I can only hope), you’re dreaming of me as I am of you. I love you. Or at least I love the idea of you. I hope you love me. Or the idea of me. We should start loving each other now, because we’ll love each other forever.

Love, Someday, Always, Yours at heart, Your future wife,


G R E T Z E N

" Hallucination "

Is it an impossible dream?

I want to be pursued, to be treasured by someone.

I want to be someone’s someone.

I want to have someone who is my someone.

I want someone to fight for me.

I want someone to want me.

I want someone to think the world of me.

I want someone to encourage me.

I want someone to challenge me.

I want someone with passion.

I want someone who goes for the things they want and helps me go for the things I want.

I want someone to hurt when they see me hurt, to smile when they see me happy.

I want to be all that for someone else.

I want someone to love me, and I want someone to love in return.

I am a beautiful person.

I am passionate.

I am a person of action.

I am a loving person.

I am worthy.

Why do I want this so bad? Is it even possible? Can it last a lifetime?

Is it an impossible dream?

Distant Lover

women always worry about things men forget ,
men always worry bout things women remember,
know wonder we can't come together ,
a man falls in love with his eyes,

a woman through her ears ,
the great divide is oh so clear,
women marry men hoping they will change,
men marry women hoping they stay the same,

a woman vision is deep reaching ,
a mans vision is far reaching,
listen to these words and their meaning,
opposite do attract divided we fall ,
united we can conger all ,

God in all his wisdom made it to be this way,
God knew man and woman had to be opposites,
his reason being they must learn to work as a team,
playing off the strengths of the other,

sad but true man woman have drifted away ,
each living life in their own self imposed isolation ,
to proud to come together for them selfishness rules
bickering self serving motives its all about me


know wonder stalemate often comes about,
in the form of divorce irreconcilable differences,
through inedible disappointment where is atonement,
love is forever the next time i get married it will be.

through sickness and health poorness and wealth .
please if you wish to be with me this you must not forget ,
opposites do attract trust in me you will see ,
i got your front sides and back ,

i am a poet i am a lover,i am a seer ,
i am a pleaser,such a teaser a joker,
a honey spot stroker ,
thats why i am lonely ,

wont compromised if she is to be my wife,
she must be willing to live as one in life,
whats mines is hers what hers is mines,
together we will live our world all about love,

yes it is true all i ever needed in my life ,
was one good woman to do me right,
i got what you need you got what i want,
opposites do attract

"Feeling's for your ex!"

Your ex still on your mind?

Are you still in love?Should you tell them?Did they move on?


These are some of the main questions after a break-up that Ive had to ask myself a lot. Im sure a lot of you out there have the same questions that you wish someone could just answer for you,but as we all know it doesn't work like that....sucks I know! When you split up with someone you have been in a long lasting relationship with, it can be very difficult to stop some of the feelings that you have for him or her still. Sometimes even though you know that the split is for the best, your mind might still continue to wonder and think about your ex. There is no easy or magic formula for getting him or her out of your mind. However, there are a few steps listed next that may or may not help.

1.Think Back!!!

-Think of all of the things that made you split. When your mind goes down memory lane...make sure that it also travels the rocky and bumpy road that caused the break up. Then remember all of the reasons that made you decide to part ways to begin with. Another thing put away things that remind you of him or her. Things he or she gave you (especially pictures of them or the both of you).

2.Your freeeee!!! Like free Willy!!!! :)

-Enjoy your newly found "freedom". There are many previously forbidden things that you can do now that he/she won't be around to tell you not to do them. Indulge in as much football watching, beer drinking and pool playing that your heart desires, because you are now free to do them without repercussions and girls do as much flirting, partying, hanging out with who ever, and so much more as well.

3. Stay Away!!!!!

(I mean it)-Find different places to hang out. Try to stay away from places that you went together, bcuz if you...you'll be sitting there like "DAMN!" Any mutual friends should also be off limits just for now though. (Not a permanent thing) You should still go out with your friends and have fun!!! Even if you may not think that you feel up to going out, seriously go ahead and make your absolute "best" effort to have a good time. Listen to me! I'm not lying!

4. Get yourself together!!!

-Repair your damaged ego. Your ego may have just taken a heavy blow if you were not the one that wanted the break up. Start slowly in getting yourself back into dating shape again by doing some fun activities like taking dance lessons or get a membership at the gym. This will let you get back into physical shape, build your ego and you could possibly meet new people in the process.

5. PEACEEEEE!!!

-Think about the positive things to come. If your ex did things or had faults that made life difficult for you, just imaging the positive things that will be in your life without the mental stress that he/she had once created for you. Once you can get out of the limbo state of wanting him or her back, you can finally get some closure and peace of mind to move on in peace.

Are you making these mistakes?

Calling your partner constantly after the break up.
Saying “I Love you” over and over and how much you can’t live without them.
Trying to convince them that you’ll change and everything will be different this time.
Begging and crying, acting out of desperation in the hopes that they will feel “sorry” for you and take you back.

Trying to use reason and logic to get them to come back.

Resorting to arguing, blaming and guilt trips when all else hasn’t worked.
Doing absolutely nothing because you’re afraid to make things worse!
If your doing any of those things make sure you are to try and stop yourself. Your not helping the situation at hand any easier on yourself...you know the saying if you set it free and it comes back, it was always yours and if it doesn't it just wasn't meant to be. Its pretty much like that. Which isn't always such a "BAD" thing! And that's something that some ppl need to realize.Okay, now this part is for those out there that are searching for guidance when it comes to confronting their ex about their feelings. If your ex happens to already be moved on and in a new healthy happy relationship...plz do not tell him/her. The reason I say this is bcuz you might ruin something he/she is sharing with someone. Telling him or her you love them will be selfish and could cause problems between you too. Rly think about some things:"Do you think you would feel the same about him/her if she didn't have a new significant other?"Maybe, just maybe you really do still love him/her...but maybe you are just in love with the "idea" of her.Don't sit there and tell your ex you still love them or that you want them back if they already have a strong,happy,healthy relationship...that could start problems between the both of you or between ur ex's previous relationship! "Why would you want to come between that?"............................................................................................

If you rly love your ex, you will be strong enough to let him/her be with the person that makes them happy. You will sit there and just be happy that they found happiness! :)Here's another situtation: Ex is single still!I feel that if your ex is still single and isn't kind of seeing someone already, then you should go straight ahead and tell them how you feel. I believe in fighting for what you love. I mean thats what I did. Im not gunna sit here and lie to you saying I won him back, bcuz I didn't...don't get me wrong I fought long and hard. I put up a pretty good fight if you ask me, but not everything can go back to the way it was.

And that's when we need to face the facts that its over. I did and now look at me...im still HAPPY! I mean me and my ex still to this day talk and have a very healthy relationship. We still are in love, but we don't let that interfere with our lives and friendship. We just came to terms that we were better off friends. If we can do it so can you!!!"From all that though I learned that no matter what he will always have a place in my life and heart. I will carry him with me forever and into every relationship I have." "So it comes to the last question""What are you going to do?"

To The Girl Who Stole My Heart

She means the world to me

Maybe tomorrow you'll take back my heart,Maybe you'll give me a brand new start.I'm living with dreams that won't come true,For you will never love me as I love you.Every thing happens for a reason,So i have to deal with this heart break without treason,You are still the apple of my eye,And many people are probably wondering why?Much respect goes out to you and i told you why,It just kills me to see our relationship telling us goodbye,Losing love for me is a feeling you cannot hide,However; you know i will always be by your side.Baby youre right, maybe your attraction for me will return,But for right now i have to just let it burn,You were always my dream come true,And i understand you did this because you were feeling blue.

It's whatever you like honey and its not your fault,Just keep my heart and lock it up in your vault,I still know you are the one for me,Will we be lovers again?...we will just have to wait and see...Hopefully the future holds something more than being friends,However you know ill be there until the end.

You are a dream come true

A dream come true

Watching you sleep,


Dreaming away.
Sleeping in my arms,
You'll be mine, again, someday.

Feeling you breathe,
So precious when you sleep.
I love every smile,
giggle, and weep.

I constantly wonder
What you dream about.
You're truely someone
I cannot live without.

When you're out of my arms,
It feels like a hole.
A missing piece in my life,
My heart, and my soul.

You're getting so big!
So damn cute and smart.
You're filled with joy,
And a beautiful heart.

You roll like a champ,
And waving goodbye.
Everytime I leave you,
I can't help but cry.

You're so close to crawling.
I love hearing you're voice.
Please understand, Honey.
None of this was by choice.

I made some mistakes,
I admit- I was wrong.
But we'll be a family again,
And it wont take too long.

We WILL be together.
I give you my word.
The only thing that could stop me,
Is Jesus Christ, our Lord.

But, he wont take me from you.
Or, you away from me.
He had a plan, giving you life.
And someday you will see.

It may seem really messed up,
The way things have worked out.
But it all happened for a reason,
I trust God, without doubt.

All you need is Me.
And, all I need is You.
Believe in Mommy, Baby Girl.

Our dreams WILL come true...

Eternity

Let Love Last

Listen to her secrets.
Take her out to dinner.
Call her first.
Label her as yours.
Understand her feelings.
Tell her shes gorgeous.
Write her a song.
Talk to her like a human being.
Ask her to dance with you.
Never imagine life without her.
Kiss her in the rain.
Hold her hand at any time.
Pass her love letters.
Never forget her birthday.
Tell her shes always right.
Be her escape.
Tell her you believe this is a fairytale.
Give her gummy worms.
Remember her favorite color.
Hold her books in school.
Give her hugs and kisses.
Show her off to your friends.
Kiss her hand just because.
Treat her like a star.
Dream about her.
Tell her shes super nifty.
Say she has the key to your heart.
Watch her walk home - so she's safe.
Play her favorite game.
Have a song that remind you of her.
Kiss her on the forehead...
Dance together like retards.
Stay together forever.
Let love last.

LOVE

It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why some loves grow and it is a mystery why some loves fail. You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you will never do any more than take the life out of the experience.

Love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its time, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

To often, when love comes to people, they try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a GIFT freely given and a gift that just as freely moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was.

They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong with them, or they try to get their lover to change, thinking that if some small thing were different love would bloom again. They blame each other. They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways they live in a sea of misery.

You need to treat what love brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find someone else in love with you toward whom you feel no love, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how love will deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are very different.

If you fall in love with another who falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to asses blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know it in time, but time itself will choose the moment.

Remember this and keep it in your heart. LOVE CHOOSES YOU. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.

Love has its own time, its own season, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it or reason it into staying. If it chooses to leave, from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and nothing you should do. be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life. If you keep your heart open it will surely come again.

How To Build A Strong Relationship

RELATIONSHIP SECRETS

Always celebrate! Whether it's the 1st or the 50th, each year together is a triumph.

APPRECIATION Let each other know how much you appreciate each other. You may already know but hearing it from each other is always better.

BEST FRIENDS Be best friends preferably before being boyfriend-girlfriend. Take time to know each other so the relationship will be a deep one. Tell each other about your crushes, dreams and problems. Make sure he/she is your best friend before getting engaged. The strong bond of friendship will help you both survive tough times. BOND Make it a point to spend time together often but leave room for each other. Also spend time alone w/ each other, so that at the end of the day you could both share your experiences. This way, you stay interesting with your partner.

CHANGING EACH OTHER Don't marry an as...le, j.... or a bi.... (an unsuitable person) You'll never change each other.

COMPLIMENTS Always compliment each other. This will prevent feelings of resentment & thinking that one is being taken for granted.

DATE Keep doings things that you both enjoy, do them together. Make time & continue to date to keep the romance - look good, smell good to maintain physical attraction

DIFFERENCES Celebrate differences. Never force your ideologies down each other's throat. Give up trying to turn your partner into you. Accept differences, appreciate them.

FIGHTS Fight w/the aim to resolve the issue. Don't outdo each other. The longer you extend the fight. The more chances that you'll say something hurtful that you don't really mean. As mad as you were w/ your partner, he/she is still the person who laughs at your jokes & thinks you're hot. Hear each other out, don't dig up old issues. Choose your battles. Make sure the fight will be worth it & that something will change in the relationship as a result of the fight.

FLAWS Know that the perfect person does not exist. Know that just as there are things that you love about him/her, there will be things that will make you go crazy. We are only human with our own flaws.

FUN Have fun together! This means keeping the fun & spontaneity that was there in the early days. Allow yourselves to get silly - shower together, pee w/the door open etc. Being able to make each other laugh & see the lighter, crazier, absurd side is the best way to get through all the differences in personalities, adjustments in lifestyle & opposing viewpoints.

GOALS Make sure you have similar goals. It would be difficult to keep your bond intact if your views are complete opposite.

GRUDGES Quit tabulating grudges. Let it off. Discuss it, then trash it, don't recycle it.

KEEPING IT HOT Keep it hot by traveling to diff. places together. A new setting will do wonders. Always have skin contact - be it holding hands, a massage or just plain leg rubbing.

HONESTY Don't lie or hide things. The problem will only get bigger.

KNOW EACH OTHER Learn each other's interest. It really keeps the conversation flowing!

HUG A hug can be far better more intimate than a kiss.

IDENTITY Don't lose your personality - that's why he/she fell in love w/you. Have separate interest & activities to keep your individual, & to be able to contribute more to the relationship.

INDEPENDENCE Having your own income means you're the boss in your life.

IN-LAWS Make rooms for the in-laws.

INTENTIONS Wish each other well. Don't wish each other worst

ISSUES Speak up about the awkward stuff now,like money & sex. The earlier, the better.

LISTEN Listen, listen, listen. Hear each other out especially during arguments.

LOOK GOOD Mind your appearance! Stay fit & healthy for each other. LOVE It all boils down to your love, chemistry & respect for each other.

MEMORIES Remind each other of the old days. Do something that you used to do for each other before. It may even be corny but it made you two together. Experience new things together- from dining into a new restaurant to experiencing street food together to exploring to new places. It's the little surprises that make great memories.

MIND READING No matter how long you've been together, do not think that you can read each other's mind. NEEDS Be good to yourself,then be good to your partner. That's what love is all about. Think about your partner. Will it make him/her happy? Will she/he enjoy it? Consider each other's feelings. Be very attentive & sensitive to each other's needs, physically & emotionally, that way your partner learns to do the same for you. Never take your partner for granted.

PRIORITIES If one says it's important, then it is! Prioritize each other among other things!

SPACE Give each other space. Have dates with your girlfriends, have your boy's night out. If you can't trust each other with this, then don't get married. SORRY Say sorry when you're wrong.

SURPRISES No matter how long you've known each other, be open to surprises, both good or bad.

TEAMWORK Think for two & always work as a team. Consult each other before making a decision because everything will always affect both of you. Strengthen couple power. In many ways, we have to decide based on what is best for the relationship in favor of our individual selves.

SUPPORT Support each other's dream. Be willing to follow your passions, support your partner in his/her decisions & create new ones together. Two heads are better than one.

TALK Tell each other's stories. Life goes by so fast & its easy to see how easily couple can grow apart. Whenever something funny, scary, exciting or juicy happened to you or to someone you know, tell each other about it & have your partner do the same. Keep each other in the loop of life, even by email if you have to.

Communication is the main ingredient in successful long relationships. Share your feelings w/o judgments or criticism, active listening, then working up to a discussion for problem solving. It takes continuous effort & learning.

What Do Women Really Want

So what do women really want from their man?

The top 6 things women want FROM MEN, in order, are:

1. Women want men who exhibit confidence (or power)
2. Women want men with a sense of humor (fun)
3. Women want men with money or the things money can buy (sense of security)
4. Women want men with looks (protection and attraction)
5. Women want men with a bit of "Bad boy" qualities (mysterious and independent/strong)
6. Women want all the other stuff they typically list (varies - sensitive, caring, etc.)


1. Women want a man to be confident! Confidence is the number one quality women look for. Don't be wimpy. Don't apologize for everything. Be real. Be you.

2. Women want a man who makes her feel like she's the only one. Women go nuts over a man who will go the extra mile. For example, he opens the door for her, he walks on the right side of the street, he helps her shop. I'm talking about being a GENTLEMAN! If she is cold, offer her your jacket. If she is in trouble, protect her. If there is danger, put your arm around her. Be a real man.

3. Women want a man with a sense of humor. A woman will almost always love a man who can make her laugh. If you are dull, you are boring. If you make a woman laugh, you're halfway home. Take a chance, be real, but be funny. There are several seduction experts who claim that being "cocky" and "funny" are the two most important qualities to attracting a woman. I agree.

4. Women want a man to listen to them (yes, even to the gripes and details of all the craziness) and not necessarily give advice. Many women love to complain about their problems; however, they complain not to receive advice, but merely to sound off. I know it's hard to nod and be supportive, because you want to watch ESPN or do something that to you may seem more exciting, but the fact is, your woman will go to the ends of the earth to love you when you truly listen to them and acknowledge their needs. You need to understand that women need to VENT. Allow her this, and she'll allow you in. Nod. Get involved and provide active listening feedback. Be truly interested in what she is saying without worrying about what you're going to say next. Then, watch what happens as your woman opens up to you more.

Women want men to listen to them, because they have a need to be heard. And, women want their man to express his feelings and trust her with his intimate side. Real listening, with real intimacy, is rare. Real listening is suspending thinking about what to say and being deeply engaged in what she is talking about. Listening requires actively paying attention -- shutting off the chatter mind.

5. Women want men to treat them like they are the sexiest woman on the planet and that no other woman compares. Talking about your ex-girlfriends is not going to score big points with your new woman. Treating her like she's the ONLY one will make her smile for quite a while.

6. Women want loyal men. Women want to know you will be faithful. Don't tell a woman how you cheated on your ex. It won't make her think you are wise, loyal, or trustworthy. I'm not saying to lie to her -- just don't go there. Don't cheat on your woman. She will not think you are a better man for doing this. Just like you want think you are the only man she's ever loved, well, that's the thing she wants, too. The key to faithfulness comes from your own inner character. Be a man of character and you will reap a relationship built upon trust. You gain respect through consistent committed action. Respect backed up by love builds trust, trust builds a strong relationship that can stand the tests of life and time.

7. Women SAY they want a sensitive man. Truth is, if you go around apologizing all the time and crying frequently then a woman will abuse you. Trust me, it is NOT wise to do. This was well exemplified during the beach scene in the movie Bedazzled, where the main character in the film was trying to woo his love interest, his advice had been to "be more sensitive." Well, he went so overboard, was so sensitive, that his love interest ended up walking away with another dude with the assumption that they'd have meaningless conversation and casual sex! Boy was HE surprised! Being overly sensitive is a quick way to get shown the door. It is important to strike a balance. Be strong, be there, yet share your emotions. Speak up and be real. Let them know you care. But don't be a sissy.

Women say they want to be treated like an equal. This is not true. Women want to be treated like a WOMAN. Not like a man. If she wanted to be with a woman, she'd do that. She wants to be with YOU. Therefore, be a MAN. This is not to be confused with being treated like a piece of property, not to be confused with being treated with disrespect. Women want to be respected! A woman wants to be respected for being feminine, being a woman. Women are quite different from men. A man who takes the time to understand the difference is a wise man. Bottom line here: NO MORE Mr. NICE GUY. Be a REAL MAN, not a sensitive NICE GUY. Because the nice guys usually do finish last.

You still don't get it? Ok, then try this: be your own bad self. I will say that some women are attracted to "Bad Boys". I think there is a certain ruggedness to the bad boy - they break rules, they sometimes behave rudely. But the true gentleman always remembers what matters most. Have an air of mystique, but definitely be you. If, on occasion, that means doing what you want, rather than what she wants, then do it. Just don't make a continual habit of it - that's rude.

8. Women LOVE a man with a plan. Women love men with ambition. Men who know who they are, what we're doing tonight, and what we're doing with our life. If you don't have a plan, get one. I have a plan (a) and plan (b) ready at all times, so that no matter what, it will appear I'm fairly spontaneous, but reality is I usually know where, when, and how the evening or date could go. In dating, it is extremely important that you have a plan when you ask a woman out. They will judge your sense of confidence by how well you have thought out where you will take her and what you will do together. So, think ahead, have a plan, then work that plan. While you're at it make sure you have an alternative plan, too, in case she doesn't like the first one!

It is equally important for a man to know when to call a woman's bluff and let her know when she is pushing his limits. A man who just falls over and laps at his woman's feet is a man who is called "whipped" for a reason. An example is as follows: she asks, "what do you want to do tonight," he says, "whatever you want to do." If this is his consistent pattern, he's whipped. She won't respect him in the end.

9. Women want generous men. Don't be a tight-wad. Give the woman in your life gifts. Like the Chairman of the Board, Ol' Blue Eyes, Frank Sinatra, used to say, "you gotta gift 'em." Well, I figure good enough for Frank, good enough for me. After all, Frank was a MASTER SWOONER. Guys, get this: Frank Sinatra went to Hollywood with a plan to take a lengthy list of top actresses in his movie studio to bed at some point during his career. As the story goes, he pretty much succeeded. Some women will frown when they read this - but guys, I know what you're thinking: "who did Frank get together with?" Well, how about Gina Lollobrigida and Ava Gardner, for starters (I believe it was Angie Dickinson who claimed to abstain). That's like saying Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry, and Charlize Theron to today's younger actor.

So, maybe giving a gift once in a while isn't such a bad idea. Just don't go broke trying to impress her! After all, Frank Sinatra also had a stellar voice, plenty of swagger, and loads of star power to go with his ability to buy a gift or two. Nevertheless, small gifts, especially gifts that show you were listening when she mentioned her favorite candy bar, or when she stopped at that jewelry counter to admire those earrings (but put them back without buying them), or how she commented on how she'd just love that dress in the window of that snazzy clothing store. Well, use your own imagination. But if you don't gift the woman in your life you'll probably be referred to by the woman you love as "cheapskate".

Now, "why," you ask, "do women care about gifts?" Good question. The answer is that one way women relate is through giving gifts - especially when you've paid attention to what they want. Women will gift exchange compliments with each other, too. So just trust me and surprise her with a gift every now and then and see if she doesn't respond favorably.

10. Be a true friend. LISTEN TO HER. Let her share her good times and problems with you. Be there, rather than just promising to be there. Consistent committed positive action is a definition of love. How do you show you are a friend? Are you there when it matters most? Are you there for the small stuff, too?

11. Women want to be loved, despite their flaws, and need to be satisfied mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as much as physically. Unconditional love would be ideal love. How can you love a woman without judgment, conditions, or rules? How would you like to be loved?

Sexually speaking, women define great sex differently than men, using words like soft candlelight, light touch, then becoming more aggressive as their mood rises to the occasion. A man, on the other hand, instantly rises to the occasion. Women want men to be their lover instead of obsessing over their body to just get sex. Rather than treat women as sex objects, treat them as someone to relate with; in other words, a real person! That means taking your time, showing extra attention, and being tender in ways with her to let her know she is special.

12. Women appreciate a man who is creative. Roses are nice. But sometimes it is extra special to think of something that most guys wouldn't do for a woman. It could be something frivolous, but if it is something that you think SHE would like, then why not do it? You might have just made her day.

13. Women want men who offer a sense of security, to know that her partner will be there if she becomes sick or when she grows old or flabby. Giving a woman security is being there through emotional and physical support. An example might be if she has to have surgery. Take the day off and be there for her, hold her hand, and give your full support to her. In other words, postpone that "tee time"! Security comes from trust. Again, this is about being able to rely in your strength of character.

Women Reveals....

9 Things Women Want...

1. Respect. Show us through your actions that you respect our opinions, careers, interests, friends, bodies, and minds. You don't have to agree with all that we say or do, but try to honor our opinions as valuable contributions. Follow the golden rule and treat us as you would like to be treated: Be honest, fair, kind, and considerate.

2. Romance. It's another night on the couch with takeout and TiVo? Just because we're staying in doesn't mean the evening can't be romantic. Light a few candles and see where the night leads. Treat us like your girlfriend, even after we become your wife. Date nights, physical affection in the car, kissing like when we first started dating -- all of the things that made us fall in love with you don't have to stop just because now there are bills to pay, a house to be cleaned, and kids to be bathed. Bring home flowers for no reason. We're not talking $100 bouquets of roses here. Even the $10 bouquets from the supermarket are enough to make us smile.

3. Time. We understand relationships can't be all wine and roses; simply making the time to be with us and treating us like your top priority says "love" more than all the fancy gifts and lovely letters ever could. This includes helping around the house. The realities of a 21st-century relationship are that both partners probably work. If you happen to get home before we do, why not vacuum the living room or throw in a load of laundry? If you take the garbage out without being asked, chances are you'll be getting a big ole smooch when you come back.

4. Dinner. Of the homemade variety. You may not be good at cooking and you may not know how to boil water. But greeting us at the door after a long day with fish sticks (or whatever you can wrastle up) makes us swoon, because it shows that you've been thinking about us and our hectic day.

5. Communication. Women are vocal creatures. We know you love us, but it's nice to hear you say it, too. We can also be insecure. We wish we weren't, but the reality is that we often notice our wobbly thighs and forget about our gorgeous eyes. So let us know when you think we're hot. Tell us we're beautiful. It helps us feel good. Words of appreciation aren't half-bad either. Tell us you love the lasagna we made. Notice that we cleaned the bathtub. It doesn't have to be over the top, just let us know that you see the effort we put in, and you're grateful.

6. Consistency. This doesn't mean be boring and predictable. It means that we know you will (usually -- no one is perfect!) give us the love and support we need. Knowing that you're coming at this with the same desires and energy as we are goes a long way to making us feel secure.

7. Engagement. Of the mental kind, not the "I'm getting married in the morning" kind. You don't have to like everything we like (we might be a little concerned if you do), but showing interest in our passions, be it career-..related, a sport, or a hobby, goes a long way. Listen when we talk to you. We're not speaking just so we can hear our own voice; we want to connect with you and this is one valuable way we do this. This also means paying attention to the little things. Whether it's the name of your best friend's husband or the fact that you hate Nicolas Cage movies, it's the little things you remember about us that's so endearing.

8. Humor and Humility. These two tend to go hand in hand. This doesn't mean that you have to crack jokes or entertain us, but just being able to laugh at yourself is enough. Guys who take themselves too seriously bring everyone down.

9. Challenge. Not the kind that makes a relationship constant work, but the good kind that surprises and motivates us to do, be, or achieve what we desire. Studies show that partners who prod each other to meet goals -- in other words, don't support lazy or bad habits -- are ultimately happier than those who don't hold each other accountable.

Mr.Nice Guy

How do you define a Nice Guy?

From EK: How do you define?

A nice guy.
always helpful....
looks out after you....
likes you but is too chicken to do anything about it....
fearful of getting hurt/not a risk taker....
makes her more important than him....
doesn't like his job all that much…nor his car, nor his apartment. He settles.....
Spends two hours helping you put your gfs wedding party favors together....
listens and coaches you endlessly on all the jackass, old bf issues....
comes to pick you up when you've walked out on jackass…again....
consoles you on the 2am jackass text message that you just received even though he has a big meeting the next morning....
allows the gf of the girl he likes to tag along on dates....
becomes best friends with the mom of the girl he likes thinking that will give him an edge....


is easy going to the point of being indecisive ....
holds your purse at the mall....
fuck, he actually goes with you to the mall!....
Buys you tampons
a good man.
winner! we want one of these!....
Solid....
Consistent....
good morals, values, ethics, has integrity....
balanced....
respects her....
respects himself....
clear communication....
knows that its not all about him....
knows that if he gives a little, he gets back a little, plus interest....
humble and modest....
doesn't boast about his penis size, wallet, or car....
has a penis that knows how to get the job done, has a wallet that takes care of the essentials, has a car that you would be proud to put dad in the back seat, but doesn't brag about any of it.....

Actually knows that he doesn't know everything....
Cherishes you, on his terms, not yours.....
Holds your hair for you when you have to throw up....
With 3,000 different daily coffee orders, he knows your Starbucks order....
Declares you a saint because you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose....
Gives you tailpipe because he knows that is what you like....
Loves you even more because you haven't given him any shit for getting drunk, hanging out with the boys, and various other daily fuck ups (shy of cheating)....
Gets your stamp of approval. "Honey, im gonna do x. what do you think?"....
Makes decisions (this is a big one). Does NOT play the typical, male, passive-aggressive shit. ....

Pays attention to the little things
Is pretty damn good but always thinks he can improve
If something's wrong, he won't just walk out, he tries to fix it, even if it turns out that the problem is rooted in him. ........
Makes it known that hes the luckiest man alive to have you....

He doesn't give you what you want, he gives you what you need (emotionally)
a player.
someone who lies or deceives a girl for the purpose of getting sex
a jerk.
someone who thinks the sun rises and sets on him....
Selfish....
Selfish. Did I say selfish? Ya, selfish!....
Someone who thinks hes gods gift to women....
Someone who thinks you're gonna do him just because he has an 8" inches....
Someone who thinks you're gonna do him just because he is 24 years old (if youre older)....


Someone who thinks they know everything....
Someone who thinks he is somehow different and doesn't act like most men (trust me, he does act like most men)....
Someone who thinks women think the exact same way he does just because he thinks that way
Gosh, as I was writing this list, the one about....
He doesn't give you what you want, he gives you what you need (emotionally).

really got to me. this particular quality really makes me fall and fall hard. I'm not talking about material things, like he gives you a toaster because you need a new toaster. That's sometimes an ew, as men commonly give practical things. Im talking about emotional things.

It means he listened to such a good degree that he knows exactly what you need. Sometimes, its something you don't wanna hear. Sometimes, its something you haven't thought of. He doesn't give you what you want, as that is patronizing and catering to you, which would kick him back down to Nice Guy status. In order to do this skill effectively, he is CONFIDENT, CONNECTS WITH YOU, AND CARING. A trifecta! The guy who comes to mind who did this skill perfectly I only got let go because he didn't have the CONSISTENCY factor going on.

He took too long between calls, like 2-3 weeks, ya, I know he was super busy, but still. Also, he would run hot and cold. Sometimes he was deep and very intimate other times he was aloof and callous. Otherwise, a guy who has this quality, I would value you and never let go.
So there you have it. Now you know what keeps you in nice guy (friend) status. Use the list wisely.

Long Distance Relationship

Surviving Long Distance Relationship

Life Quote: "What I have with him is worth it. It is worth every lonely night, every tear I cry from missing him, and the pain I feel from not having him close. It is worth it because he is my one and only. When I picture myself years from now, I see only him. No matter how painful distance can be, not having him in my life would be worse."This life quote is a classic example of what people involved in long distance relationships have to go through each and every single day without their loved ones by their side. The passage is beautiful, and heartfelt, and it really speaks of sadness, and longing… of enduring love.

There are those people who CHOOSE to endure the pain, because they know in their hearts that it’s really worth it. There are a lot of reasons why there are so many long distance relationships in the world. Most common reason I think is WORK. One partner has to go away to work and the other’s left behind. Another issue is, GEOGRAPHY. You meet someone who lives far far away and is geographically undesirable but you feel something special for him, and you just can’t let it pass.I think regardless of the reason, the hard earned fact still remains. Long distance relationships are ridiculously painful! Especially if you’re both really in love with each other, and it’s a really serious relationship (not just some superficial fling). We’re talking about real, deep, profound kind of love.

When the absence of your loved one, is really killing you, tearing your heart apart. And just when you’re almost ready to give up… you realize… you really really love him. And you want to be with him so much, you realize you’re willing to wait. And hang on to a hope, that someday, you’ll be together again.On the other hand, there are also lots of people who don’t really mind having long distance relationships. Of course, we are all different when it comes to love, right? For those who are involved in a long distance relationship, really look into your heart, remember the above life quote and ask yourself, “Is this worth it?” Then let the answer to that question guide you to what you should do next.

"How To Secure Your Relationship'

Do you feel uncertain about the future of your relationship?

Would you feel more confident in your relationship if you knew exactly what to say and do so thatyour man would ALWAYS feel that being with you and staying in a committed relationship with you was worth it, no matter what kind of challenges you're having?Challenges like tough financial times, stress,temptations from other women, and disagreements?

You can learn how to create an unbreakable bond with him by reading this:http://chkhmail2.com/click.html?x=a62a&lc=0zpH&mc=6&s=DWei&y=9&

Do you sometimes wish that men could just be moreHONEST with you?Do you feel discouraged by dating because the menyou meet actually LIE about what they want fromdating, what their background is, what they do fora living and sometimes even lie about whether ornot they're AVAILABLE?

To where sometimes you end up involved with a man who is already seriously dating another woman, orworse - is married?

Not good.If these are situations that you run into a little more than you'd like, then keep reading because in this topic I'm about to reveal the "MAGIC ATTITUDE" that actually inspires a man to be completely up front and honest with you about such things as:--

If he's looking for something serious or casual-- If he's seeing other people -- If you're the kind of woman he's drawn to -- If he's ready to"settle down" or not As a matter of fact, with this magic attitude, you may be able to get a man to reveal a lot more than he would ever reveal on his own, without prompting, and the ADDED BENEFIT of this is tha the will feel more "connected" with you because he'll feel he can tell you just about ANYTHING.

He'll feel more attracted to you because he'll feel more understood and appreciated by you.This is why I call this attitude "magic." It not only inspires honesty from a man, it makes him feel
more connected to you at the same time.Nice.I

If you're single and dating right now, this mindset or attitude can actually help you qualify the right man and avoid Mr. Wrong as early in thedating process as possible, perhaps even before youmeet in person for the first time (if you'reonline dating).And if you're in a relationship, it can help you get to the bottom of what he's thinking and feeling, so you can know why he's with drawing, ifhe's open to taking things to the "next level," orwhat's holding him back from fully committing to you.But first, there's a fundamental question that seems to bother a lot of women.

Why does this even have to be an issue, anyway?

Why can't a guy just be up-front and honest with you?Why, for example, is it so hard for a man to tell you why he's not calling as often or why he stopped asking you out, especially when he seemed so "into you" in the beginning?

You go out on a few dates with a guy, and you think everything is going great.then he stops calling. He doesn't respond to your emails ortexts. It's like he's dropped off the face of the earth. Maybe you even realized that he was a nice enough guy, but you didn't know him well enough yet to fall in love or anything.But still.you wish you could at least hear WHY he stopped calling, stopped asking you out, stoppedr esponding to your messages.You just wish he could be HONEST with you.

It's no big deal - you can handle it. Right?Hmmm.perhaps, but that's not how HE may be seeing things.

WHY MEN WILL LIE TO YOU

Imagine this scenario:You're on a first or second date with a man and it's going really well.You're laughing, you're having a great conversation and you seem to have a lot in common, it's almost scary how similar your attitudes are about certain things.You feel an intense "chemistry" between you.



He's staring at you with that "look" that tells you he is very attracted to you.He even talks about places he'd like to take you to someday.You are almost positive that this is the beginning of something meaningful with this guy.But a day or two goes by after the date and you don't hear from him. Then a week, then two weeks.You send him a message, "Haven't heard from you in a while. How are you?"But he doesn't respond. You never hear from him again. You beat yourself up, analyzing everything you did and said on the dates to see if maybe you accidentally put him off.

Months later, you find out the truth from someone else. During the time he was dating you, he was also dating another woman, and was now getting more "serious" with her.You feel confused and disappointed, and a bitannoyed that he didn't just tell you the TRUTH about what was going on.Why didn't he tell you the truth - either before,during or after he went on a date with you?

The truth would have been a whole lot better than days or weeks WONDERING and beating yourself upover nothing. Right? Of course it would.So why does a man lie to you? Why does he avoid telling you the truth about a situation?The answer is simple.A man will lie to you because he hates confrontation.He FEARS your emotional response. He fears your rejection of him. He fears that HE won't be ableto "handle" your response.He's imagining that you're going to cry, scream,be disappointed, argue, or complain.

He fears being put on the spot or "attacked."Understand - I'm not saying you would do any ofthose things.I'm just telling you what that guy - who maybe doesn't know you all that well yet - is thinking.You may be a cool cucumber. Totally able tomaturely handle whatever he tells you.It doesn't matter - somewhere in his past, there was a woman or two who did in fact overwhelm him with her emotional response, and it FREAKED himout.He could have just said, "Hey, I am dating anotherwoman right now, and I've decided that I want toget to know her better. I think you're great, butI also feel that I want to give this other situation a chance.

"Instead, he tells you NOTHING--he avoids you,stops calling, and hopes that he won't ever haveto face your criticism and judgment.It's not a particularly mature and considerate thing to do, but that's the reality of how it is with a lot of men. Not all, but definitely a lot.They don't even realize in the moment how YOU'RE feeling.all they know is that they have to do whatthey must do to avoid that confrontation they fear.

Despite this, there's reason to be hopeful that you can create the space for a man to be honest with you with really no effort.And here's something else you need to know.there's a "window of opportunity" for getting the most honesty right away, so you can screen out the men who are Mr. Wrong from the start.Be sure to know when that window is open for you,and take advantage of it.

WHY FIRST AND SECOND DATES ARE CRITICAL TIMES FOR HONESTY his is an interesting fact: a man will be MOST HONEST with you when he is NOT YET emotionally engaged or invested in your relationship yet.In other words, you can probably learn a LOT abouta man on a first or second date, when you're just getting to know each other.This is a time when he's not so afraid to share,because he's not afraid of disappointing you(since you don't know each other well enough yet).

This is when you should be listening VERY closelyto what man tells you.This is when he'll tell you things like, "I'm just looking for something casual and fun right now. Ijust got out of a long-term relationship and not into getting into the same situation anytime soon."Or he might laugh and say, "I'm a lifetime bachelor. Settling down doesn't interest me in theleast."Or, he might reveal some other dark secret, "My ex was an unhappy woman. Always complaining about onething or another about me."And that's when you need to HEAR what he's saying.And take him seriously. Know what you're in for.The man you choose is the man you get.

THE ATTITUDE & THE THREE MAGIC WORDS THAT INSPIRE HONESTY

When you want to inspire honesty in a man, so that you let him know that he is "safe" when he shares with you, you have to have what I call the"Anything is OK" attitude.Now, this doesn't mean that anything is OK for aman to do, and that you're supposed to acceptanything he does and have no boundaries or limitations.The attitude is more like you thinking, "Anythingis OK for you to share with me, but I know what Iwill and will not tolerate in my life, and what Iwant. But you can TELL ME anything. I can handle it.

"How do you communicate this attitude?

Easy.With the three little words: "I'm just curious."It can go like this."Are you seeing anyone right now? I'm justcurious?""What kind of relationship are you looking for?I'm just curious.""What kind of woman do you most admire? I'm justcurious.""Where do you see yourself in the next five years?I'm just curious."Using these three words not only lets a man knowthat you'll be OK with whatever he tells you, butthat you're not needy or too aggressive, and hecan feel safe telling you just about anything.Just don't stare at him, holding your breath,waiting for his answer. That defeats the purpose -BIG TIME.

Here's the deal.It's not that a man is afraid of certain questions. It's just that the WAY a womanasks those questions makes him feel strange.If a woman warns, "You're not seeing anyone elseright now, are you?"

It almost automaticallyinvites DISHONESTY in a man.If you want to inspire sincerity in a man, youmust have the "Anything is OK" attitude and usethose 3 magic words to get the most honestresponse possible.That way, you won't waste a lot of time going ondates with "unavailable" men, men who haveskeletons in their closet, aren't over their ex,or are actually interested in a different kind ofrelationship than you are.

Wouldn't you benefit from knowing exactly how to use the "anything is OK" attitude to screen out the right man from all the wrong ones? How to know if the man you're with now is really being honestwith you about where the relationship is headed?Or if he's lying?In my CD/DVD program, "Meeting The One," I explainhow to use the Anything is OK Attitude to maximizeyour success in dating and relationships.You'll learn how to screen for potential jerks byknowing what to do and say even BEFORE you agreeto meet on a first date.And in this program, I'll teach you what to do andsay to create amazing chemistry with the RIGHT MANand how to constantly be increasing the level ofATTRACTION between you. You'll learn:--

How certain phrases you speak can be a DEAL-BREAKER for a man when he hears it the first fewtimes he dates you.and how to avoid these at allcosts-- How to make a man see your VALUE by the thingsyou say or not, so that he will believe your"status" to be high and therefore will benaturally attracted to you-- How to make a man feel ATTRACTION from thefirst five minutes all the way through the firstfive dates using specific "counterintuitive"actions-- The secret to drawing a "non-committal" mancloser to you by making yourself a "challenge" inhis eyesIt's all right here, totally risk-free. You cantry my Meeting The One program free for a monthand learn all my best secrets to flirting, datingand attracting a man to you from the moment youmeet him:http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/MeetingTheOne

If you have a handle on dating and flirting, butyou are often confused by what men do and say,then there's something I want to ask you.Wouldn't you love to have more insight into whymen do the things they do, so that you could feellike you UNDERSTAND men better (and therefore havebetter relationships)?

Over the years, women have asked me the same kindof questions over and over about men, dating andrelationships:-- What makes a man "fall" for a woman? What's thesecret?-- How can I get him to really listen to me andget me?-- Why do men cheat? Do all men want to cheat?-- How can I affair-proof my relationship?-- What do men look for in a woman before they decide she's "The One"?--

Do men go through stages of maturity, and if so, what stage is my man in?I couldn't let these questions go unanswered.So I actually put together an entire and unique program that answers ALL of these questions,including more in-depth insights into why men lie,why men SEEM to be more "cold" and "in control"emotionally, and how knowing your man inside andout can bring you closer than you ever thoughtpossible.

In my "Inside the Mind of a Man" program, I helpyou understand what a man's words and actionsreally mean, and I bust the common "man myths"that are keeping you from truly and completelyconnecting with a man.To learn instantly what the 3 most common anddestructive myths are about men that are holdingyou back from love, and can tear apart anotherwise great relationships, click here and readthis:http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/IMM

I know that the easiest way to help you find and connect with a GOOD man is to teach you the skills to get the most honesty possible from a man, and then know what it takes for a man to feel deeply in love with you.

Do you ever wonder why a man will spend time"zoning" out in front of the TV or totally absorbed in sports, or tinkering in the garage orbrowsing the Internet? Or why he hates to "talk"about the relationship?Men have different needs when it comes to relaxingand unwinding. They also have different needs whenit comes to intimacy and getting physical.You probably know what those are. Or do you? Findout by reading about the 3 Man Myths and the truthbehind what men REALLY need and want:http://chkhmail2.com/click.html?x=a62a&lc=0zpS&mc=6&s=DWei&y=u&