"What Is Fame?"

What Is Beautiful? - What Is Perfection? -
What Is Fame?

I'm partly popular for my blogs, my rants, my views on life, and my ability to make people think and see more than one side of life. I want to open the eyes of a blind world...

And I'm starting today...

I keep hearing about all these blogs talking smack about me, and people saying this or that. HOW DO I REACT? - I Smile!

Why? DO I CARE? - Hell NO!

People only talk crap about other people b/c they feel badly about themselves. They look in the mirror, and they see themselves for exactly what they are. They arent fooling ANY ONE!

I look in the mirror, and I see BEAUTY, I see confidence, I see happiness, and I see success...
I've learned to walk past my haters and smile, and It took a LONG TIME to get that trait under my belt. Everyone has this fake front on 24/7 and I've trained myself to get past that.

People compliment me on my beauty, my confidence, and my ability to embrace my flaws, but that's not always how I was. and I don't want people to think I am stuck up, or conceited in any way... BECAUSE I AM NOT AT ALL.... however, I am confident... and regardless to what people think or say, IT TOOK A LONG TIME TO GET THAT WAY... and I'm not going back..
PEOPLE SAY (Haters Say!)

I CANT SING! - But I'm working on an album with producers who've worked with AMAZING and VERY TALENTED Musicians like: Lady Gaga, Robyn, Selena Gomez, Corbin Bleu. And they found ME! - I'm popular b/c I have my own sound, and I'm starting a new TREND for what is hott and popular. And my haters are jealous b/c I've got it and they DONT!

I'M UGLY, I HAVE A BIG NOSE, I HAVE A BIG FOREHEAD! - If I was ugly, I dont think I'd have agencies, photographers, makeup artists, clothing designers, hair stylists, etc. etc. all over the world, blowing up my phone and email to work with me, and I dont think I'd have 80,000 AMAZING FANS, who love me for my beauty and confidence? MY NOSE IS MY TRADEMARK, ALONG WITH MY HAIR... I think the real story is they are jealous that their nose is soo NORMAL and mine is ORIGINAL! My forehead is PERFECT, which is why I show it in my new picture.. MORE FOREHEAD, gives you room for LONGER HAIR... so na na na na boo boo...

I'M A FAGGOT, MY STYLE IS STUPID! - this one goes back to the last one, ITS ALL ABOUT EMBRACING WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON, and I am comfortable with my body and in my own skin, I dont care what you think of me, or what you think of my boyfriend. Or what I wear, dont be jealous b/c you dont have the confidence or security with your own body to wear what you REALLY want or be YOUR self... I do what I want, and I could give a flying SHIT less what other people think of it!
_______________________________________________________________
OK I'M DONE WITH THE HATER SIDE OF THINGS... (they arent important at all!) just wanted you guys to see things how I felt about them, so you could understand...
_______________________________________________________________
Now for the heartfelt, ultra revealing exclusive you all want to read about.
In highschool, I was super nerdy, no style, not very popular (hey lets be honest!) I didnt have that many friends, DIDNT CARE! didnt want any.. I did my own thing and stuck to myself. I had a few close friends. and I still have MOST OF THEM IN MY LIFE TODAY... I will always love them.
In life I have come to realize there are FAKE friends, and REAL friends, and I've finally gotten all the FAKE ones out of my life, (see my top friends!)
I moved to Texas with nothing, no REAL friends from home, just some clothes, WHY? to start over, to FIND MYSELF, find my carreer, and realize what I wanted out of life. I moved to Texas so I could GROW UP! and I think that I did that..
I found MYSELF, I bloomed like a flower, I taught myself to see the beauty in myself and every one around me, or to see the UGLINESS in people, and some of the closest people to me at the time were the UGLIEST!
What YOU guys see from the outside, versus what things look like on the inside, are two completely different stories..
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME? (lets break it down!)
1 - Famous2 - Pretty, Gorgeous, Stunning, Handsome, Flawless3 - Talented, Aspiring, Role Modelesque, etc.
and I guess where I am going with this, is for you guys to believe that I had to kinda re-model myself into that character. EXACTLY... I created a character, much like a movie character or anything else for that matter. I created a persona.
But that persona at first was SOMEONE I wanted to be like, (circa 2 years ago.) when I first created myspace, it was all about making myself look better than I really was. And making people believe I was extraordinary.. (but I didnt believe it myself!) I had horrible flaws, and my persona covered them up. I had bad self esteem, extremely insecure and no self confidence what so ever.
Granted at the time I created myspace, I considered a professional photoshoot to be a friend coming over to my house and taking pics of me... (I'VE MOVED ON TO STUDIO'S, PAYCHECKS, AND MAGAZINE AD'S NOW!)
Its a great feeling to look back at that sad miserable person, b/c I can see that I was basically in a cage, I knew what I wanted to be, but I didnt know how to ACHIEVE it.
What I am trying to get to is....OR MY POINT IS.......
DONT LET ANYONE EVER TELL YOU, YOU ARENT GOOD ENOUGH, OR THAT YOU CAN NOT SUCCEED.... DONT EVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT YOU ARENT PRETTY... or ARENT SMART.... or ARENT TALL ENOUGH.... THIN ENOUGH.... or even TALENTED ENOUGH to make your dreams a reality....
B/C I am here NOW standing before you, LIVING PROOF that you can do what EVER your mind can imagine....
IF YOU WANT TO BE A MODEL.... work on it, practice, take lots of pics, send them to agencies, do what you have to do to make your dreams a reality.. I went through HELL to get my face out in the world, and I still do.. I have more HATERS than anyone else on the internet.... and WHY? b/c they are fucking JEALOUS of me, its the truth... THEY ARE JEALOUS that they've tried to tear me down for 2 years.. and I've done more than ANY OF THEM EVER WILL IN THEIR ENTIRE LIFE... in a simple 2 years of my life... and I've just BEGUN! Dont let ANYONE stop you from your dreams...
IF YOU WANT TO BE A SINGER.... then by all means take a laptop mic and jump in your bathroom and do it, garageband that shit, to get you started.. I can name about 20 people that started that way, who are MILLIONAIRES NOW! dont let anyone EVER stop you...
IF YOU WANT TO BE IN MOVIES.... make a youtube account and show people you have the talent....

THE POINT OF THIS BLOG IS..... people constantly ask me, HOW I DID THIS? or what got me started.... or blah blah blah... and the answer is simply:
DETERMINATION!
when you put your mind to something, they ONLY person that can hold you back is YOURSELF...
I MAY NOT BE WHAT EVERYONE SEE'S AS BEAUTIFUL.... but I know that every where I go, and when I sleep at night, I know I look good, and I dont lose a min or rest over it.
I KNOW PERFECTION DOES NOT EXIST.... and I dont chase after it by any means... I see all these stupid PERFECTION GROUPS on myspace, and then I look at all their "MEMBERS" and I think to myself "How Pathetic" those people are, they are all photoshopped to hell, and probably have more insecurities than a chubby girl, in a bulimic clinic. I just wonder when they will WAKE UP and realize they arent perfect, and NO ONE thinks they are. All of those groups are filled with the most Insecure and Lonely kids on the internet. And they actually hate themselves so much that they do all that shit to themselves and their pictures to make people think they are better than they really are... TRUST ME, I'VE BEEN THERE...
Dont change yourself to match what the crowd thinks is beautiful... DEFINE IT YOURSELF!
AND THAT IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS!

I hope this actually helped some people... Or inspired someone... Otherwise, it was just a great venting journal entry for me... I just want to Inspire and Create in this world full of FAKE!

How can you tell if he is right for you?

Knowing a Guy/Girl Likes You Here is advice:

Men let women know they love them in different ways. Some men are very out-going and have no problem pursuing a woman and bluntly asking her out, while other men are either more cautious or very shy and find it difficult to ask a woman out for fear they are rejected. Many of us like to hold onto the fact and the "game of the race" that this person really cares about us, and to ask them out and be rejected could be a little much for some people because it means the end of it all. Young men will either ask you out if interested, or they may give you a shy smile, a quick nudge with their arm, even teasing you (but not hurtful teasing.) If you feel this person is shy there is nothing wrong in asking them out. Double date! This often makes both parties feel more comfortable.

You just know. You put one and one together and it becomes obvious. He tells you verbally or by his actions that he does. Just ask if you can't take the mystery.

He will give you subtle hints like wanting to be near you in a group. Talk to you and actually listen to what you have to say. He may go out of his way to be where you are. He might tease you and joke with you. He may be places that you are, often. He may look at you from a distance and turn when you see him. You should be able to tell that he act differently around you and to you than he does around others.

Some guys are weird about how they tell a girl they like her. There are the boyish ones who will make fun of or annoy you, and the shy, sensitive ones who will not directly ask you, but hang around you, and there is always some jerk who will call you hott and ask ya out. watch out for those,lol.

he will beat around the bush and act shy when you and him are around a lot of people. but then when you two are alone he wont act so shy. he will talk more and play hit you on the arm and stuff like that. or maybe he's not shy and just walk up to you and ask you out. he's got a lot of gut to do that so yes cause he probly took forever to get the nerve to walk up and ask.

Marcy Answer

You have got to be kidding. How you know, is the secret everybody is looking for. There is a thing called "vulnerability" and you must show it. Take out some insurance, but show this person that you are capable of going the distance. I mean, true love, all the way, vulnerability. When the person disappoints you, be ready to admit failure, and you have a right to stop loving this person; but remember there is forgiveness. How much do you have? The balance therein lies. If you have the strength to hang in there, because you understand this person's faults, and weaknesses, you may have a partner. This is the whole process, and you need to find out for yourself; how do I know if it's the right person. Have fun, most of all.

Answer:

If a guy likes you, he'll either be really nice, or he'll pretend to dispise you. Some guys will just click with you, agreeing with what you say (because they agree, not because they want you to think they agree) and generally just making you happy. The other kind will walk around, call you names, pretend you don't exist. But if you get a chance to get one-on-one time with this guy, go for it! He's probably really into you, and will be super nice to you if he gets the chance to be alone with you (away from 'the guys').

Otherwise, just do what your intuition tells you. There really isn't some miracle answer for this. But, if a guy's lying, his ears/face will get red, and his eyes will get big. That's about as good as it gets. Good Luck!

Answer

It depends on the boy- He either
gets really red- like a tomato LOL!
crackin jokes around you
makes fun of you
poking you so you can poke him back
acts really different when he knows you're around
stutters when hes talking to you
doesnt look you in the eyes OR does a lot
always asks you first to be you're partner in something
waves to you a lot
gives a teeny tiny smile
just a list of what I've been observing when i know the boy likes a girl ;)

Answer

He will "Show off", act differently and try to make himself known to you.

He pays attention to you, or ignores you.

He is kind, or pulls your hair.

He says nice things, or says mean things.

Seeing a theme? I'm sorry to say there is no easy way. I spent a year interested in a girl in high school before letting her know. Some people spend longer than that, showing their interest in the wrong ways or not at all. I say, ask him.

"About Our Belief ,Our Faith In God"

Dilemma of Contemporary Thinking About God

I can’t see my faith, but I can feel it…
I can feel it because I believe it…
Because I believe, i never give up
Because I don’t give up, miracles happen

In this dilemma, the problem is always the necessity of God in relation to the world. Our basic concepts of who God is comes from the Sacred Scriptures and philosophy. It is because of our ideas that our finite minds begin to ask, ‘Does God really exist or not? If not, we can also ask ourselves, ‘Is God a concern to us or not?’ These questions arise when we will experience sufferings, pains, chaos, miseries, and even the death of others.

In the middle ages, the Christian philosophers and theologians proved the existence of God through the human experiences, that is why we have the five ways of St. Thomas Aquinas. The common denominators were, God was the foundation of all in this world and the cause of everything because he was uncaused. Human beings and all creation depend in the mercy of God in order to exist but God does not depend on man. The classical thinkers view God outside the world. As humans who are finite beings, we must ask God to help us in our daily living in order to survive.

In the modern world and even until now, atheism rises in every part of the globe. From the time of Descartes to the twenty-first century, there are still these unconvinced people about the relationship of God with the world. The rise of poverty, famine, economic downfall, suffering everywhere, and even injustices coax human beings to think about God, whether God concerns them or just merely the product of there minds, about their dreams of someone who can solve their problems in life. As Feuerbach would say, “We are projecting God that we believe in what the best man could be.” The modern philosophers believed that the God was a threat because God was indifferent to human beings and did not pay concern to the human situations. God was not affected by the human activity and so, humans must do their best to act for themselves and for his own good, and thus excludes the idea of God- who is outside in this world. Therefore, the atheist would ask, if God really exists, ‘why are there sufferings?’ Isn’t God a pure act, uncaused, perfect and intelligent being? Therefore, God is not part of the corrupted world.

The two periods of philosophy, from the theist and atheist, there had been ideas of God and His relation in the world. We as Christians believe that ‘God-is-with-us’. In the mystery of the incarnation, God lives among us. From the medieval notion of God who is a pure act, unchanging, and different from this world, the God of Christians now lives as a human being. He became part of this world. In the atheist notion of God who is the product of man’s imaginative idea, God now becomes a reality into the human history.

Yes, we cannot deny the human sufferings and even human corruption but God lives among us in order to lift us to the eternal glory. In the person of Jesus Christ, sent by the Father, with the power of the Holy Spirit, God took the form of man in order to save us from the corporeal world. Every human experience of God is the experience of “presence.” God wills that human persons can experience by means of the Church, which continues the message and mission of Christ into the world, this “presence.” He is part of our history. Therefore, God is outside of this world yet close to us, which means he loves us even if we cannot see anymore his physical body. So the responsibility lies in each one of us because ‘God-is-with-us.’

"Walking by Faith"

"What is Faith?"

Faith in God and His Word is the most Powerful Force on the face of the earth. Christians cannot operate in today's society without Faith. You can't even be Saved or Born Again without Faith. The Scriptures tell us that without Faith we cannot please God. Faith is when we look to God and trust Him and His Word regardless of what we see in the natural. We cannot operate as the world operates because we are living in a much Higher Realm.

The Bible gives us a definition if Faith in Hebrews 11:1-3, "Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good report. Through Faith by the Word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear".

If you read verse one in the Amplified, you find, "Now Faith is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, Being The Proof of Things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact is not revealed to the senses]".

Faith is when you believe God even when your circumstances tell you otherwise. We cannot be moved by what we read in the magazines and see on the Television. If you turn on the evening news, all you hear about is how bad things are. It's easy to get that doubt and unbelief in your spirit if your Faith is not strong. Sure the economy is bad, but we don't live in this worlds system. We walk and live in God's System. We choose to believe the Word rather than the world. It has got to where I have had to stop watching the news altogether. We are Blessed, we are Healed, and God will meet All of our needs according to His Riches in Glory. Remember that we Walk by Faith, not by sight. (See II Corinthians 5:7)

How do we increase our Faith? "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God" (Romans 10:17). Our Faith increases when we get into the Word and start Believing and Saying what God has said about us. The more Word that we have in us the Powerful our Faith is.

When you start feeling signs of sickness in your body, your Faith will rise up and you will Say, "Sickness, Leave in Jesus Name. The Scriptures tell me that by His stripes I Was Healed." (See Isaiah 53:5) We are not denying that sickness is there, we are simply refusing to allow it to stay. That's what Faith is. It's calling those things that be not as though they were.

If we are going to start Walking in greater Faith, we are going to have to start Talking Correctly. You ask, "Pastor, what are you saying"? I'm simply saying that we are going to have to stop saying the problem and begin to start Speaking the Word. What does the Word say about us? We are Blessed!

We are Blessed going in and we are Blessed going out! We are Healed, Delivered, Prosperous, and Highly Favored! We are Over Comers, Victors and not Victims. We are Children of the Most High! God is preparing to take us to a much High Level in our Faith. Believe it, Receive it, and Now begin to Walk in it!

MOTHER N CHILDREN

MOTHER
This is a truly BEAUTIFUL piece.
Please read this at a slow pace,
digesting every word and in leisure...
Do not hurry....this is a treasure...

For those lucky to still be blessed with your Mom,
this is beautiful.
For those of us who aren't,
this is even more beautiful.
For those who are moms,
you'll love this.

The young mother set her foot
on the path of life.
'Is this the long way?' she asked.
And the guide said: 'Yes,
and the way is hard
And you will be old before
you reach the end of it..
But the end will be better
than the beginning.'

But the young mother was happy,
and she would not believe
that anything could be better
than these years.
So she played with her children,
and gathered flowers for them along the way,
and bathed them in the clear streams;
and the sun shone on them,
and the young Mother cried,
'Nothing will ever be lovelier than this.'

Then the night came,
and the storm, and the path was dark,

and the children shook with fear and cold,
and the mother drew them close
and covered them with her mantle,
and the children said,
'Mother, we are not afraid,
for you are near, and no harm can come.'

And the morning came,
and there was a hill ahead,
and the children climbed and grew weary,
and the mother was weary.
But at all times she said to the children,
'A little patience and we are there.'
So the children climbed,
and when they reached the top they said,
'Mother, we would not have done it without you.'

And the mother, when she lay down at night
looked up at the stars and said,
'This is a better day than the last,
for my children have learned fortitude
in the face of hardness.
Yesterday I gave them courage.
Today, I've given them strength.'

And the next day came strange clouds
which darkened the earth,
clouds of war and hate and evil,
and the children groped and stumbled,
and the mother said: '
Look up. Lift your eyes to the light.'
And the children looked and saw
above the clouds an everlasting glory,
and it guided them beyond the darkness.
And that night the Mother said,
'This is the=2 0best day of all,
for I have shown my children God.'

And the days went on,
and the weeks and the months and the years,
and the mother grew old
and she was little and bent.

But her children were tall and strong,
and walked with courage.
And when the way was rough,
they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather;
and at last they came to a hill,
and beyond they could see a shining road
and golden gates flung wide.

And mother said,
'I have reached the end of my journey.
And now I know the end
is better than the beginning

What men want... Emotionally

This blog is going to be short and sweet, so here goes…

I am going to start out by saying that I am still old fashioned and believe in traditional roles. I believe that men were created to be leaders and to honor/respect their wife like the queen she is. I believe that as a person, we are both equal however when it comes to roles in life we are not.

Personally I think deep down most women want this as well, its just too hard to find a man to trust and let have that role these days therefore they are forced to turn into an "independent woman".

I can't tell you the number of times I have heard this from a single mom or a mom with a deadbeat husband:

"Every day, I make every decision in our entire family's life from the minute I wake up until the minute I go to bed. I carry the stress of providing for and taking care of our lives all day every day, I was not built for this. I need a man to take care of things, to carry that stress and I will support him. If I have to decide should I hold little Johnny back in 1st grade, how to discipline little susy, what 401k I should invest in, what kind of tires to buy, why the dryer is squeeking, what kind of house loan to pick one more time I am going to lose it. That's why when we are on a date, don't ask me anything, you decide everything and I will go along for the ride."

So, what do I want from a woman emotionally? I want to be all of those things above for her…

That's EXACTLY what I want.

I want to be a rock for her.
I want to be wise for her.
I want to be her confidant.
I want to be reliable for her.
I want to be strong for her.
I want to be accountable to her.
I want to be responsible for her.
I want her to bury her head in my chest and cry when she is overwhelmed.
I want to make her feel safe.
I want to make her feel like the most beautiful woman alive.
I want her to trust me with decisions for us and our family.
I want her to know that I was put on this earth to take care of her.
I want to provide for her.
I want her to think I hung the moon.
I want her to think I hung it for her.
I want her to think I am the funniest guy alive.
I want her to think I am the best chef.
I want her to think I am the best handyman around the house.
I want her to think I should be giving advice to Bill Gates about technology.
I want her to think I should be giving advice to Warren Buffet about investing money.
I want to overhear her telling her girlfriends how good I am in bed.
I want her to be crazy about me for all the right reasons.

I want her to make me feel like a King.
In return I want to make her feel like a Queen.

Those are just a few random thoughts, I can't speak for every man but the conversations I have had with men are always the same. We want to feel like a king, we want to have our ego's stroked by the significant woman in our life, we want to be that rock she needs. We want to be needed…

Below I will list a few things I want/need emotionally from my significant other, however I feel that MOST men share the same needs as I do.

I want someone who I can have candid, stimulating conversation with. I want no topic to be off limits and I want the kind of trust with each other that our deepest thoughts can be shared without having to worry about her getting upset or pissed off. I want her to know the thoughts that go on in my head and her in turn tell me what goes on inside that head of hers. I want to get a sitter, buy 2 bottles of wine, go sit on the front porch and talk and laugh until the wine is gone.

I never want to lose what we had when first met, the ability to talk about more than just what is going on every day in our life. A man can only take so much discussion about diapers, the kitchen, me forgetting to take out the trash and how low our checking account is. I MUST be able to discuss topics other than just daily small talk with her…

I love words of affirmation. I love hearing her tell me how crazy she is about me. I love hearing why she is crazy about me, these things make me stick out my chest and feel like a man.

This isn't emotional but its emotionally driven. I love physical touch/affection. I want to feel like she can't get enough of me. I want to feel like she cant keep her hands off of me. When she tells me about her day, I want her to sit on my lap and nuzzle her face into my chest and let me hold her like a baby. I want her to want to be physically close to me, I want her to need to be physically close to me.

I want her to adore me, literally. I want her to think I walk on water, of course my actions have to back that up, but if they do, begin adoring. I can assure you the woman I end up with will never question if I adore them, so please return the favor.

I want a companion in life, not just at home with the family. The first time I stand under the Eiffel Tower I want her there with me, the first boat ride I take in Venice I want her with me, the first time I take a safari in Africa I want her there with me. On a lighter note, I want her to be my companion when I want to watch a movie, when I want to try a new restaurant, when I want to go be lazy at the river all day or try to cook some new dish…..

I want someone I can talk to without fear of judgement or misunderstanding. I want the Sally Struthers commercial to come on TV and me be able to tell her that I don't care about the starving kids in Africa, we have bigger concerns right here in America and not have to explain why I am not a "bad person" for thinking that. Also it looks like Sally Struthers isn't hungry, maybe she should share that squeeze cheese with those kids, cause I know she has some in her purse.

I want someone who I can let my guard down around and her not lose faith in me. There are times when I do not know what to do, I want to be able to tell her that, or tell her I am overwhelmed with work or even her, and her just listen. I want her to walk away from that liking that I can let my guard down around her, not walking away thinking I am weak or having doubts.

Believing In My Faith

is it wrong?
to love the person more than myself...
to cry every night for the love that will never be mine..
i wish i could make everything possible...
to be with the person that i truly love...
but nothing hurts more than realizing each day..
that yes...
we really love each other,
but we cant be together...
distance doesnt matter...
im willing to embrace ,
his culture and tradition...
even i could change my religion..
i know how to deal w/ anyone..
i will love his family and relatives without asking
anything in return..
i could befriend with his friends...
i could be a career woman..
and a home maker at the same time..
i could change myself more better
than i am now...
though i cant make myself perfect..
nobody is perfect anyway...
to top it all....
im willing to do everything for love..
yet its not enough...
not enough for a brat...
it really hurts but i wont give up...
i am not expecting...
im jz hoping that someday...
our love will make everything possible...
i am living for a brat...
only for a brat..!
i can wait...
even if it means...
forever...!!