The Truth Behind The Smile

Behind my smile

People in my life lately always want to know why i'm so happy or curious as to why I look for the best in everything ...Behind My Smile.Well I have had my fair share of mistakes like everyone else and I am far from perfect but I am learning and growing each day. I realized the importance to me in life is to truly follow my heart and surround my self with great people.I like to have that karisma around me that way people can always remember that glow. I also came to the realization I want to be a true leader not a follower and impact people/ the world in a beautiful way. I value my health, faith , motherhood and helping others as far as donating my time to charities or where ever I can make a small difference; a helping hand never hurt anyone. The small things in life are too often over looked when really they are some times the most important . Cherish your health don't take life for granted . Live, Love, Learn, forgive you will find your heart and eventually You will find clarity/truth because you are the only one that has to look your self in the mirror each day. I found my self or I should say I am still seeking my self not only through life experience's but I actually sat down and wrote my own obituary scary thought kinda morbid..But it makes you realize how you want to be remembered. We all have an inner beauty in us so let it shine.

MIND BODY & SOUL

True Friend Is Rare To Find

What makes a true friend?

Ok, this blog took a lot of time and effort, thanks to all of you who helped with your input and thoughts:

Kayla, Kristin, Shannon, Gorilla, Sherri, Jay, Trey and Lover Lovingston.

What makes a good friend to me??

This was a hard question for me to answer and I want to pose this question to all of you at the end here....



In my eyes a real friend is tried and true. They are there when you need someone to talk to and they understand your feelings or at the very least act understanding even when they don't understand fully. They sympathize with you and they always take your feelings into consideration. They understand that things in your life need to be accomplished as well as they would take care of their own things. They don't get angry or mad if you have something important that needs to be done before all else. They will not talk about you in public and they will always have your back.

A good friend will offer you advice and stand by your side even if they do not agree with the decisions you may make. A good friend will offer encouragement and offer prayers or good thoughts/words to help you through a situation.

A good friend will call you when they know you are having a bad day to make sure you are ok, to do the best they can to offer a shoulder or an ear. A good friend will not only think of themselves, but always take care of themselves...you can't be a good friend to someone, that offers good advice, if you aren't all together yourself...

A good friend will laugh at you AND with you, they will tell you when you mess up or they may keep their thoughts to themselves, but either way, they'll love you regardless of your failures or decisions. They'll question your thoughts, beliefs or feelings, to make sure you think from all angles, not just to be an ass. They may say something you don't like to hear or don't want to hear, but they do it in YOUR best interests.

A true friend will never be offended by another friend’s advice or questions…maybe if there was an offense taken it was only because it was the truth and it made them mad to hear it said aloud, maybe it only reconfirmed their fears. True friends don’t say those things out of spite, but out of looking after the ones they care about and protecting the ones they love.

Real friends don’t publicly fault their friends. They are grown up and can act mature enough to handle things like an adult. A real friend doesn’t stab you in the back when you are only trying to be helpful. A real friend won’t ignore you over something trivial and insignificant.

A real friend will understand your need to take care of the things in your life above all else. If they are a real friend they won’t fault you for taking a few minutes to get something important taken care of. They will understand and still be there once you have taken care of necessary business.

A real friend will sense when there is something wrong in your attitude or personality, they will call you up to see if you are ok, they will send you a message saying that “I’ll be there for you, when you want to talk.”

A real friend will not do something to help you out, then turn around and use it against you. Especially when the action that supposedly helped you was not one that you had even asked them for.

They let you have space, but don’t let you go too far from their sight. They keep you in mind and always have your best interests at heart. They understand that your family will always come before them and are not selfish in their desire to take up all of your time and energy. They appreciate the efforts you make at friendship, even if you are not able to lend out hours of your time at the time they need you.

There are exceptions to this of course. If a friend is in a car wreck or tragically ill and on their deathbed, then yes, a real friend will put their life on hold to help the other one make it through and cope. They will drop it all and give everything they have towards making the friend's situation more comfortable or tolerable. However, if it is the same situation over and over again, for example an asshole significant other or a drug problem, then the friend in need should understand that the things in your life will take importance over their matters at hand. It doesn’t mean you don’t care, it just means you have to take care of something, you WILL get back to their problems as soon as you can, but experiencing the same problem over and over because you don’t want to change things only means one thing…insanity.

Life

Walking The Walk
(a short story)

Interesting how excited she became when I asked if she would like to go for a walk. A simple pleasure I thought would be nice for us to partake in. We set forth into the night air which was clear, crisp, and cool. Bright stars looked down upon us while a mild wind brushed over our faces, infusing our minds with the pure joy and satisfaction of togetherness. The smiles on our faces brightened the dark sky much more than the moon ever could as we shared short kisses filled with affirmations.

We talked about how our pasts shaped us in to the persons we are today. About the hopes for how our present day activities will shape our future. We shared our beliefs, our perspectives on several things and with each step, each word, each moment of silence we became closer, actually becoming a part of each others own body. Walking yet finding calm within the ruckus of life that we were surrounded by. I could feel the emanation of her love as we held hands. This love I felt, this love she wanted me to realize that she held for me, was far beyond anything she had ever spoke of.

When To Find True Love?

Just Another Love Story

Once, there was a guy, who was in love with a gal. She wasn't the most beautiful and gorgeous but for him, she was everything. He used to dream about her, about spending the rest of life with her. His friends told him,"why do you dream so much about her, when you don't even know if she loves you or not? First tell her your feelings, and get to know if she likes you or not". He felt that was the right way.

The girl knew from the beginning, that this guy loves her.One day when he proposed, she rejected him. His friends thought he would take to alcohol; drugs etc. and ruin his life.To their surprise, he was not depressed. When they asked him how was it that he is not sad, he replied,"why should I feel bad? I lost one who never loved me & she lost the onewho really loved and cared for her.

"Never Cry for One Who Makes You Cry!

A Rose In Torn

RareLightning Spears

No ulterior motive

Nothing up my sleeve

Nothing you did or said

You were just you

Didn’t have to buy me anything

Didn’t have to wine or dine me or anything

Ever and persistent

My desire for you from a distance

I love you for who you are

No agenda at all

Nothing to win but you

Nothing I would not do

You were just being you

Didn’t have to spend a lot of money

Didn’t have to call my jokes funny

Always and forever

My love for you fades never

I love you for all that you are

Not some reward

Not for anything you’ve done

Not even for being so true

Just for being you

Didn’t need to go out of your way

Didn’t need to bend over backwards

I’d hold you close or love you from far away

So much to giveSo much love to share

No one could ever compare

You’re a find you are

You’re rare Take my breath, my very air

At your beauty I constantly stare

Love you for beauty you hide

Love you not for anything you’ve got

Love you for the angel inside

Love you not for just you looking so hot

Love you so much it ought to be a crime

Love you so until the end of time

Love you as if you were already mine

Love you like no other

You are such a rare find

Hold you close or love you from afar

I love you for who it is that you are.

The Letter To The One

It's been so long since I've heard your voice. It was reckless of me letting you slip away from me. I want you to know what has happened all this time, but as of right now im so terrified to hear from you again mainly cause i dont know what your gonna say since i've been gone for so long.

I'm hesitating so much to pick up the phone and call you - i'm just too scared and nervous, but i know that i will hear from you soon cause i cant stand this heartache anymore, slowly im dying without you in my life.

I tried to live my life but everyday seemed like it was getting harder to breathe. Im still fighting that pain i still have left within me, its a battle im slowly losing because your not there when i need you most. There were so many sleepless nights that i thought about you, but there were times i wanted to forget about you. I tried to replace you with different guys but no matter who i'm with you'd always come back into my mind.

My heart was telling me that they're not the ones for me.It seems impossible for me to forget about you, i wish i had the strength to let go but its not easy to forget someone who i truely fallen in love with 3 years ago.

I've had to endure cold lonely nights were i would cry so hard into my sleep wanting so badly to scream, holding onto my chest all throught the night trying to stop that strange horrible emptiness that was consuming my heart. If only you knew how much i've been suffering without you, if only you can see how lifeless my soul is.Everytime i think about you, i always want to know what you're thinking, what you're feeling, i just cant help but to worry about you.

I just hope your not suffering as much as i am, I just cant let you feel what ive been feeling all this time, its something i dont want you ever feeling in your life. There are times that i wonder if your ever think about me, i want to believe you do but i feel that im too far away to be in your mind. I know you dont feel the same way i feel about you, but i hope that one day you can and see that my heart only beats for you.

Today i wanted to call you just like all those other attempted times but im always thinkin that maybe you've forgotten about me, that you moved on, maybe you already found that girl you've always wanted to love. Just thinking about these things tears me apart but these thoughts wont stop me from letting you know how i still feel about you.We both have fragile hearts and are cautious of who we give it to, but you shouldnt worry about me holding it for i would never hurt you, i have once but i wont do it twice.

I regret everyday what i did to you but im only human and im already paying for what i did. I just want you to understand that im fighting so hard for you, im risking the last bit of life i have in my heart for you. I will admit im terrified to lose you again as well as im afraid that if you let go i'll never fall in love again but im gonna do whatever it takes to show you true loyalty and affection.

I realized now that your the only one my heart ever wants, i realize that love can be painful but wonderful at the sametime. I know im so far away but i'll always be here whenever you need me. I'll always be here for you. I just cant see myself giving my heart to anyone else, i just hope you wont leave me again.

Its not easy without you here. Im tired of searching for love in this cold heartless world.Im tired of pretending that im ok when im not.If only people could understand what you truely mean to me.If only they can see that there is no other like you in this world.If only you knew how much you changed my life.

If only you knew how special you are to me.I know what im feeling is not mistaken for anything else.Let me show you what true love really feels.Take my hand and i'll lead you to true happiness.Please understand that i cant stop missing you. I cant keep myself away from you, I just dont have the strength anymore.

I promise i'll hold your heart forever.
Ohne dich kann ich nicht leben.Ich liebe dich.

My WONDERWOMAN

Let's Not Fight

You are my Sweetheart

With you I don't want to fight

Life is too short

It doesn't matter who is right

Let's resolve our problems

I think this we should do

Let's talk things out

I hope you feel it's time too

If we let things go

And go with the flow

We can make a new start

And that's the BEST PART!

I really need you In My Life

I really need you

My dear sweetheart

Please my darling

With me don't part

I know we've had problems

You and I

Give it a chance

Please don't ever say goodbye