THE FUTURE OF THE SPECIAL CHILD

SPECIAL CHILDREN


The special children? who are they? what makes them special? why special?

These are children who because of their uniqueness and special needs we have pushed them to the background, instead we will prefer to substitute their names with stigma.

They are those wonderful children we refer to as ABNORMAL, but, come to think of it, research has shown that no human being is completely "normal". This is because we have one disability or the other. If it doesnt have to ddo with our health it may be with our phyisque.

Examine yourself, how big or small are your ears, eyes,nose,how tall or short are you,how well do all these part of your bodies function? 100%?

Anyway, inother not to deviate from our focus, the Special child simply put, is that child that has been diagnosed to have learning difficulties or physical or behavioural challenges which could be as result of some medical or developmental issues, because of which they lack the skill and confidence they need to be successful in the society at large, and, to foster positive peer and family relationships.

These children therefore need a special programm to meet these needs as early as possible and build good self esteem.

The parents of these children are also always left out, in most cases we discover that their parents are flexible ,compassionate,and stubborn than other parents, but of course we dont blame them, we should also realise that their parents need to be empowered,so they will be able to assist their children in reaching their potentials and becoming independent.

These children are termed special because of their NEEDS, naturally there are things THEY CANT DO, which of course is a minus in the child's natural abilities, these may be in the areas of education,safety ,health,economic security,arts, recreation and culture.

Although in very few cases you see them DOING BETTER THAN "NORMAL",if given the proper placement these children become achievers.

Parents are therefor adviced to after diagnosis ,accept the child's challenge area, take the child to a specialist and try to cope with these challenges, concentrate on today not tomorrow,and remember that every child has the right to reach their potential.

In the next edition we shall discuss the different special needs.

"Tips About Raising Kids"

How to Raise Your Kids in a Balanced Way

Although everyone has their own different styles of parenting, there are 4 main styles of parenting. These four different styles are authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and the uninvolved.Uninvolved parenting is really just a lack of parenting.

It is hard on children and should not be the way of parenting. Kids suffer issues such as feelings of rejection, lack of self esteem, and issues with trust. In the long run the children are harmed emotionally.Authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive styles describe a range of styles.

Authoritarian parents are at one end of the spectrum. This kind of parenting tends to be high in structure and low in responsiveness. Permissive parents are then located at the opposite side of the scale. This parenting style tends to be low in structure and high in responsiveness.

Authoritative parenting tends to be located in the middle of the scale, and is a balanced parenting style. There are many different parenting styles out there; these three represent a very wide range scale.Structure is important to authoritative parenting.

There are clear rules and limits and children know that there are consequences for their actions. Routines and schedules help provide a sense of stability for children.

For example, a child knows when bedtime is, and a teen knows when curfew is, and both know what will happen if he or she is late. Stability in this sense allows children to feel secure, and that, it turn, allows for an all around better atmosphere.

There is flexibility in authoritative parenting that allows the parent to bend the rules on occasion. Like if a child would like to stay up late to watch a favorite TV show.Authoritative parents also are responsive.

This results in less conflict and more balance.Authoritative parenting is a balanced parenting style. Structure and responsive are both high. The parents are involved with their child's life, and are flexible, but they still are parents. There are structures, limits, rules and boundaries, but they are not rigid.

Children with this kind of parenting tend to do well socially and functionally in life. They tend to not get into problems and not to have serious emotional problems. This type of parenting is balanced, and produces balanced children.

"Streetchildren,Whose To Blame?"

Who are the Street Children?Street children are young people who spend a considerable time living and/or working on the streets of the world’s cities.

Different countries describe street children in different ways. However, two general categories have been frequently used to describe them:

•
children living and working in the street
•
children working on the streets who maintain regular contact with their families
Reality Situation of Street Children in Asia
•
The working street child works from 6 to 16 hours, often in a combination of “occupations”.
•
Street children usually come from large families, with six to ten children per family.
•
Street children are generally malnourished and anemic, many of them physically stunted.
•
Street children suffer psychologically from undue family pressures, abuses and neglect at home. Very often, they develop low self-esteem.
•
Street children are prone to street fights and bullying from bigger youth, harassment from policemen, suspicion and arrest for petty crimes, abuse and torture from misguided authorities.
•
Street children usually come from broken families.
•
There are more boys than girls. Female children are disadvantaged because of their sex; they do more housework and are prone to sexual abuses.
•
Parents of street children are preoccupied with earning a living, oftentimes engaged in irregular low-paying jobs as construction workers, vendors, and scavengers.

"Who should be held responsible with the large growth of children living on streets?"

This is one of the major problem of 3rd world countries that because of poverty many children live on streets & at their very young age they learn to beg for money & food to survive.

We should take step to help these children to be out of the street not just by giving them a temporary solution to feed their hunger.

We should take time to talk to them & share something that may help them to see that there is hope even they are experiencing hardships in life.We should let them realize that it is the will to succeed that could change their lives.If they won't learn to believe in theirselves they would be begging their entire life.

Most of the time we tend to blame our government for the increasing number of streetchildrens that are homeless or neglected by their parents.My sole intention in writing this blog is to open our eyes & see the root, causing this problem.

We should not always put the blame on our government.People are always looking for someone to put the blame to justify the result of their action.Why would we need to put the blame to our government.Did they tell us that we should produce as many babies as we can, even we are not capable of supporting our kids financially.

Having kids is not just like having sex. Once you decide to have kids you should know the responsibility that goes with it.

THE FULL TEXT OF THIS ARTICLE AND MORE INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT ACTION YOU CAN TAKE IS AVAILABLE AT THE PREDA WEBSITE http://www.preda.org/home.htm OR CONTACT US HERE AT SPAN.

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"Guiding Your Children To Better Future"

Teaching your children to walk the straight path:

Exemplify the behavior you would like to see in them.

Use consistent Positive Reinforcement(CPR)
"A well placed ohrase, embodying praise,most certainly pays."

Show them you have high expectations.
"No one rises to low expectations."

Spend Quality and Quantity time with them.
Correct them when they are wrong. "Love does not mean permissiveness."

Help them to shape good habits very early in (infancy) life.

Coperate with your children's teachers,and endorse their education.

demonstrate respect for their mothers and fathers and their elders.

Be there! anyhow.

Build the aforementioned suggestions from a Spritual Foundation.

"Encourage Your Child More In Learning"

"Ways to help your child succeed at school"


Children love to learn, but they don't always seem to thrive at school. There are lots of things that you as parents can do to help this.

It might be that the style of school doesn't suit your child. Some children have very particular learning styles, and need to go to a particular school. Some children who have ADHD or Asperger's Syndrome will benefit from smaller specialist schools, but some children who are within the normal spectrum will also benefit from different teaching styles.

If you don't thing the school is right for your child, speak to the teacher. If you still think it is wrong change schools.

Some children like large, noisy schools, where everyone is busy, while some children will like smaller schools. If a child likes the school, it is a huge step to helping them to get a good education. They will be happier going to school, and therefore learn better.

If a child is having problems with other children, you need to be prepared to go up to the school and sort it out. Spend the time speaking to the teacher and find an answer. You have to do this the minute there is a problem, so speak to your child about his day each day and know what is happening there.

Give your child a special place to do his homework, an make sure that it gets done. If he doesn't understand it, then help. If YOU don't understand it, make sure you go to the teacher and get it sorted. You child might have misunderstood the instructions.

Go back over past homework assignments and help your child to do corrections.
Help your child with major projects by getting the materials they need and helping them do research.

Take your child to interesting places. Don't worry if you don't live near a famous museum or art gallery- go to the park, the woods, the river and learn all there is to learn about life cycles, wildlife, weather, other cultures etc

Talk to your child all the time. Let him into your life. Let him learn everyday things and help you. These are life skills that will be invaluable to him later on.

Make sure your child goes to school. If there is any question of them playing truant, nip it in the bud straight away.

Speak with confidence about the school, praising it. Make your child feel that it is a privilege to go to that school. If you talk disparagingly about the school , the child won't feel good about going.

Stay as much in your child's life as you can, and you will be able to help him when any problems arise.

These days, we are all busy. Finding time to sit down each night to help with homework is a challenge, let alone assisting with various school activities. But there are some simple ways to ensure your child achieves their best at school.

Start with a healthy breakfast studies have shown that those children who eat breakfast each day perform better academically than those who miss out on an early meal. Ensure the breakfast is a healthy one, preferably with a low glyceamic index to release energy slowly. Cereals high in sugar will result in a slump around mid-morning and increase the desire for unhealthy snacks.

Sufficient sleep children need more sleep than is often allowed for. Primary school children need 10-12 hours sleep at night; a teenager needs 9-10. If your child is having trouble getting out of bed in the morning, and is skipping breakfast as a result, it might be an idea to make their bed-time earlier. If your child is yawning during the day and falling asleep on short car trips they probably aren't getting enough sleep at night. Set a realistic bed-time and stick to it.



Improvise - when out and about use the opportunity to teach. Be aware of what your children are currently working on and level appropriate activities at them. For example, when buying groceries, if they are working on division ask them how much each apple costs if you buy four for $2. Encourage younger children to read street and shop signs. Activities should be kept light and fun so that children will look forward to these impromptu lessons.

Take an interest in school work it's not always possible to assist children one-on-one with their homework, but take time while making lunches in the morning or preparing dinner of evening to listen to your child read or ask them about their school day.


The child that knows his or her parent is interested in their school activities will make more of an effort in the classroom. It's hard for working parents to find the time but try to attend school events occasionally. It means a lot to a child to have family members present at an assembly or show.

Introduce yourself at the beginning of each school year, make time to meet with your child's teacher to discuss your child's personality. Your child has to share one teacher with many other children so any advice you can give the school about your child's needs will assist the teacher to tailor learning to your child's strengths and weaknesses. Also take this opportunity to find outany areas your child excels or struggles in and ask for advice on how to deal with this.

Make study fun most kids hate homework; make it easier for them by providing a suitable workspace. This can be the kitchen table as long as it is brightly lit and they have somewhere to store their things when not needed. In fact, a child that studies or works in a family setting rather than isolated in their room is often more productive.

Set aside dedicated time for homework and turn the television off. Set a time limit and if your child has worked sufficiently well, reward them with TV. Let them rest for a short period when they first get home from school, perhaps with a snack, before making them do homework. Many children thrive on having a set routine because they know what is expected of them.

Physical concerns children are very good at adapting and physical problems can go undiagnosed for too long. Difficulties with learning can often be traced to poor eyesight or hearing so if you have any concerns in this area, make sure the necessary checks are completed before your child starts school.

Read, discuss and play - reading to your children every night is not always possible. We all know how it feels to be so tired we can barely keep our eyes open let alone concentrate on the printed word so read to your children when you can. It doesn't have to be before bed though storybooks are a great way to wind down at the end of the day.

Discuss age appropriate current affairs with your child. Children are like sponges and absorb information whether or not it is directed at them. You may be surprised at what they know or think they know! Play games with your child. Board games provide educational value teaching children to count, take turns and develop strategy and can be fun for the whole family.


"I was a straight A student-my kid's ain't gonna be anything less!" That's one sure-fire way to doom your child's scholastic endeavours. Your academic pedigree impacts your child far less than conscientious, consistent parenting.

Step out of your past, be the best you can today to help your child on the path to educational excellence.

Begin with the practical:

A healthy body enhances a healthy mind. Children need food, drink and rest to be able to maximize their learning potentials. Provide a balanced, nutritious diet in frequent, appropriately sized portions. A healthy breakfast to start the day is a must. Many schools allow children a fruit and vegetable snack during class time as well as continual access to drinking water.

Growing bodies need sleep. Left to their own devices, some children avoid bedtime at all costs. A responsible parent ensures that children have ample opportunity to gain satisfactory sleep.

Allow your child time to play, relax and have the luxury of nothing to do'. Extra curricular activities provide wonderful opportunities, but find a balance between work and play. Overloaded children run the risk of burning out.

Provide an environment conducive to study. Whether your child works at the kitchen table, or at their own desk elsewhere in the house, make sure they have the best environment possible in which to study. Consider adequate lighting; minimal distractions (turn off the TV and remove the annoying sibling); comfortable temperature and ergonomic furniture.

Be organized. Model and encourage good organization. Mark activities and due dates on the calendar. Have uniforms and lunches ready early before school. Train your child to be responsible for his or her own matters (ie returning a reader, remembering lunch) from the earliest school days.

Train your child to manage time effectively. Make home study tasks a priority after school and don't allow a child to leave a project until the midnight hour.

Equip your child with the necessary resources. Invest in dictionaries; provide Internet access; join and frequent the local library; provide paper, pens, erasers, rulers.... it sounds trivial, but many a homework session has been thwarted due to the lack of an eraser or pencil sharpener.

With practical measures in place for success, train YOUR attitude to hone your child's true abilities.

Value your child's schooling. Demonstrate in word and action that schooling is important. Value the institution and the individual. Uphold the ideals of your child's school and protect the dreams of your child.

Respect the authorities over your child. Don't undermine teachers in the presence of your child. Support staff decisions and efforts. If you have a legitimate concern, don't carelessly air it in front of your child. Aim to resolve conflict without fallout damaging your child's application to learning.

Expect the best from your child. Make it clear to them that near enough is NOT good enough'. Mediocrity and nonchalance should never be acceptable.

That said, ACCEPT your child's best. Be it an A or an E, your child achieving his or her personal best should be acknowledged and rewarded. It is not your child's responsibility to exceed your own amazing academic accomplishments, neither does your child need to atone for your personal ineptitude.

We all want our children to reach for the stars, but I for one measure success in terms of a graduating student with healthy self esteem and an independent work ethic rather than a long list of A's. (As much as I crave those shining grades!)


Sending a child to school is a huge accomplishment and brings you happiness knowing that he/she is earning an education. Helping your child to succeed at school is a great way to create a bigger bond.

Helping with homework can put your child at ease knowing that she/he has help and can finish to have free time for fun later.

Another great way to help your child is to attend school plays and cheer your child when you see she/he on stage performing their role. They will be happy that you came and was there to support their part.

And attending a PTA meeting is a helpful way to ensure that your child is succeeding in class.

Talking with the teacher to know how the child is paying attention is class is a way of understanding their behavior when you are not around to watch them complete their work. Some parents may reward their child with a prize or an evening out with their friends when they have accomplished homework or done something great in school.

The best way to help your child succeed is to be a good role model toward the and raise them in a well mannered home surrounded by loving people. That includes no yelling and/or language in front of them.

And teaching them that it's not a smart thing to smoke and/or do drugs with their friends in school. Friends like these can show the child that it's okay to do something that is against the rules and even possibly against the law.


The best way to ensure your child's success in school is to get involved in your child's learning. You will be amazed the confidence it will give your child.

One way for your child to want to succeed in their academics is to let them know with praising words that you are interested in what they are learning and that any time they need your help or guidance you are there for them.

First, make sure that you have a quiet place for you and your child to work at, give your children a healthy snack and a bathroom break before you begin learning so that they can focus on their work.

Some times it is easier than others to help your child with home work or assist them in learning new material. If your child's teacher sends home paper work with clear instructions you have half of the work cut out for you already.

If you don't get full and clear directions from the teacher on what your child is learning simply create work for you and your child to do together. Reading to your child is always a great idea, or if they are already reading have them read a story to you. Hop on a computer or even grab a piece of paper and a pencil and make some age appropriate math work for your child to do then grade them and if they do a good job give them a small reward and tell them how proud you are of them.

If you want to get your child's creative juices flowing as well as their coordination skills you might want to gather up some paper, crayons, markers, colored pencils, tape and scissors to help you child build a small city. Children are having fun while they are learning some well needed skills. If you want to have you child use their imagination the next time you want to curl up to a movie on the DVD player just gather some art supplies and popcorn and you and your child can create a movie theatre at home.

The best part of all is that if you do one of these or many other similar ideas you will be letting your child know that you care about them while they are learning something. You will be amazed the difference in your child's school work.


Start your day with a conversation about going to school and the things that your child may do at school and take the time to work with them whenever you can this opens their minds to the possibility that something good and positive can be squeezed into their brains.


A very important key to success is teach your child it is important to pay attention and be alert and be courteous to those around.... i realize with smaller children this is a large task but it is very possible... with a little help from you at home your child will be successful....


AND IF AT FIRST THEY DON'T SUCCEED TRY TRY AGAIN Another way to help your child do better in school is to take the time to help them this is very important your children will respond to you better and come to you more often and taking the time to help them lets then know how much you care.

A loving environment at home will help them to succeed at school, if that does not work take the time to look into alternative methods your local youth center may or may not offer a program to help your children deal with what ever subject may need to be addressed... if they do not, they should be able to tell you who can take your time and look into your options always remember that your children are our future and we are here to help in any way we possibly can.

I firmly believe these methods can and will help i know they all seem very basic and generic but allot of people do not realize that with a little bit of effort these children whom we decide don't have any potential are most likely the ones with the most of all to offer... i think that our teachers at our public schools should also go out of their way to tell us when our children are struggling so that we have an idea of where the help needs to begin....this would be an incredible help i know that at my daughters school she was struggling with spelling and the teacher never once mentioned it. If she had i could have found a way to help her sooner and saved her allot of embarrassment and sad days at school

I have followed my own advice and have a great support system here and have put her into reading blocks which is a local reading group for children her age they focus on her...which is a nice change and she really enjoys it so please take the time to help your children because learning begins at home first and foremost.


Self-directed parents find ways to discover their child's potential from the early childhood. You must know your child best than others do.


Children shows their potentials or gift from the time they start learning how to say the first word, make their first step and other psychomotor skills. From this point in their life, make your own assessment as to your child's possible gift/s: Singing, writing, dancing, painting, mathematical ability etc.

Understand your child's feelings and situations.Put yourself in your child's shoes for you to understand why he is acting that way. In this case, you will teach yourself to be supportive rather than a villain. Give your utmost support to your child's dreams. Support must not only be financially but rather it must include emotional, physical, spiritual and social supports.


Attending Parents Teachers Association's (PTA) Meetings regularly will give you complete understanding of your child's performance.Knowing his performance in school will guide you what to do at home. Monitoring your child's performance must not only be limited to your attendance in school meetings but must be done regularly to the extend of calling your child's teacher at least twice a week.


You must study the lessons of your child for you to be in better position to guide him academically.

Patience is one of the best qualities parents must possess. Do not just be good at the beginning of the school year but all year round.There are times your child doesn't learn as fast as you expect, be patient. Tutor your child through games. Remember, children learn better and faster if they are well motivated.


Games are proven to be an excellent motivation to attract children's interest to learn.

Example, instead of inviting your child to study his lessons, you may invite him to play BINGO. Draw a BINGO box with twenty-five (25) squares. Ask a question based on his lessons, if he answers correctly. He will draw one circle at the BINGO Card, if he can't, you will draw a circle instead.


The one who draws three consecutive circles will get a point. In this manner, your child thinks.

"Stop Child Abuse Spare Their Future Don't Ruin The Lives Of The Innocent Children"

Note: This poem is about Abused Children and there are two writers involved in the writing of this poem, one been an abused child, who is Jacqueline Brink and the other writer, been Christopher R. Azzie. I took on this poem on the request of Jacqueline, an abused child, as the pain was too great for her to continue with this poem. Many of the word are her words and have not been changed, for they are her feelings to this very day, even though her abuse has stopped the pain remains.

We both hope that this poem will help to bring awareness to others in the same situation and to try to stop Child Abuse worldwide.

Warning: We strongly suggest children and abused children do not read this poem as it may upset them.

MESSED UP

By: Jacqueline Brink and Christopher R. Azzie

Too much stuff is going on in my head...
I can't even think straight any more...
I'm just such a, f*cking mess these days...
I feel like crying all day long, laying in my bed all the time, just doing nothing and being alone...

Cause it doesn't matter if I'm with other people; I still feel the same...
Messed up, broken, torn up, even alone...
I'm not alone I know, but I do have that feeling...
I've had it sometimes before, and I do know why I feel this way right now...
But I'm not allowed to say...

I don't allow myself to say why...
Cause I know it would do no good...
I can say goodbye maybe I will feel better than, but I don't think So...
I'm certain it won't be better...
Really f*cking annoying...

I hate being this messed up...
I haven't been this messed up for a while now...
But I'm not allowed to say why...?
I don't allow myself to say why...?
I don't allow myself to put out here...

Ive been torn apart for, what?
Why? Did they do this to me?

An innocent child
Crying, weeping on the floor,
Hearing your footsteps
In the passage,
Through the night and day
Approaching, my bedroom door


I prayed to the Lord,
For him to protect me
Yet he could not help, me
He could not stop, them .
They continued
Each day and night,

Forcing me, to do their will
Tearing me apart,
Leaving me wailing in the dark,
In a heap, on the floor
With tears streaming down my face
Not, able to move from the pain

For, I was just an innocent child

Date: 1 June 2008

If you know of a child caught up in abuse, Please report it to your local authorities within your country. Please dont ignore it the child needs your help to stop the pain.

"Raising A Special Needs Child"

A special-needs child can be a joy and not a burden if parents are educated about their child's condition. Parenting a special needs child may require more than the average child but it can be done. Information, medical care, support, and love are that is required to create a strong family for a special-needs member.

Special-needs children come in many varieties, and more than ten million children with special needs live in the United States today. These needs range from minor conditions that may improve with therapy and treatment to permanent conditions that will limit the child’s function for life.

Allergies – including those to milk or a particular food or food group – are at the mild end of the special needs scale. Severe mental retardation and life-threatening medical conditions are at the other.

Parents of special needs children must learn that they must not only deal with their child’s individual needs but to make a safe, loving environment for the entire family.

Learning About Special Needs

The first step in raising a child with special needs is to understand the child’s condition. Early diagnosis is vitally important in most congenital diseases and conditions. Knowing the cause for a child’s condition can help parents – especially if the cause is beyond parental control. Understanding that a birth defect or handicap was not the fault of either parent can relieve feelings of guilt.

Once a diagnosis or other determination has been made, parents need to listen and learn. Listen to the medical professionals who confirmed the condition. Ask questions. If questions come after the office visit, don’t be bashful. Call and talk to the doctor to gain the necessary information. Learn what you can about the special needs of your child. Check the Internet for sites that cater to parents of similar children. Opt for sites that end with .org or .gov because these are non-profit or government sites. Look for online support groups or seek out support groups in your community. Read about the disability or disease that affects your child and be informed. Don’t limit your knowledge to books alone. Read medical journals and stay abreast of the latest information, the newest treatments. Know what to expect now and as the years pass. Most physicians will provide a written evaluation or report but if not, ask for one.

Remember that early intervention is vital in gaining the maximum experience for the child. Learning experiences, social skills, and treatments can help. If speech therapy will help your child, enroll them at an early age.

Make sure that communication is open and that you are heard as well. Get questions answered and be adamant that you must have all information about your child’s condition. If the information you seek isn’t forthcoming, find out why and consider a change in medical personnel.

Get the best professionals possible. If a beloved family practitioner isn’t the best individual to deal with language disorders, cerebral palsy, epilepsy, hearing impairment or any of the other special needs children may have, find the right doctor. A specialist who treats children with like needs may be a better option. Depending on the child’s needs, a team of professionals may be the ultimate option.

Get tough and be persistent. When seeking information or treatment for a special needs child, don’t stop until you’re satisfied. Make sure you understand everything you are told and when you don’t, insist that the information be made clear. Parents know their children and if a medication doesn’t seem to work, tell someone and make sure they listen. Be a nag – you are your child’s advocate.

Keep records. Maintain a record of all diagnosis, treatment, therapy, tests, appointments, doctors, therapists, facilities, and prescriptions. Record what worked, what didn’t, what was determined and what was not. Maintain a list of emergency numbers and keep them posted by the telephone. Make a list of caregivers that you trust with your child. If the child enters pre-school, school, or a facility, make sure that all care givers have the list of trusted individuals. Also be certain that they have the pertinent information needed to work with your special needs child.

Keep both parents involved. Don’t go it alone – have your spouse as informed and active in the child’s life as you are. Strong parental involvement and support are helpful to children – whether they have a medical condition, a congenital disability, or are completely healthy.

Be realistic. Know your child’s strength and limitations. Don’t force a child beyond his or her ability. When seeking treatment or therapy, understand that many unproven methods exist. Confirm that any medical intervention has a proven track record and that it has the potential to help.

Accept the situation. That doesn’t mean give up on improving or even healing a treatable condition but it does mean accept that your child has special needs, which he or she is not an average child and may never be. Love the child as they are, not as you wish they might become.

Be smart about money. Having a special needs child can incur additional expenses that can be major. Get the facts about costs, about available financial aid from state, local, and government agencies.

Love Your Special Needs Child

Despite special health or development needs, every child should be loved. Give unconditional love to a special needs child and show affection as you would for any child with hugs, kisses, quality time, and conversation. If unable to express love for a special needs child as you do for other children in the family, seek professional help so that you can work through your emotions.

Make life as normal as possible. That may sound like a tall order but it’s not only possible but also necessary. Teach every child to have self-respect and discipline. Some may feel that disciplining a special needs child sounds harsh but it’s vital. Set limits based on the individual child’s level and ability to understand. Respond to common childhood behaviors – tantrums, disobedience, separation anxiety – in the same way that you would with any child. Never overindulgence a special needs child and don’t be overprotective. This is their world and they must learn to live in it with their own disability or need.

Be consistent. Have a routine and stick to it. Have meals at the same time, in the same room. Bedtimes need to be set and kept. Whether your special needs child is a newborn or an older child with a recently diagnosed condition, stay in the community. Don’t move – it won’t solve problems and may hinder adjustment in the child. Have a steadfast band of friends and relatives who are part of the child’s world who will help. It does indeed take a village.

Explain the special needs your child has to siblings, grandparents, cousins, neighbors, relatives, and anyone who will come into contact with the child. Long explanations are not necessary but it helps if people understand a child’s unique needs. Help your child not to feel ashamed and ignore any lingering social stigmas from the past. Celebrate who your child is. Never offer false hope – that a blind child will see, for example – unless the possibility exists through possible treatment.

Never allow any one – adult or child – to make fun of a special needs child. Intervene with a firm, kind hand and explain that your child is special because he or she is not like other children. Be open and honest but stop any ridicule.

Accent the character traits that make your child unique. Compliment good manners, encourage a good sense of humor, help style a little girl’s lovely hair, appreciate a love of animals, and celebrate what makes your child’s personality. And accept your child’s disability or illness as part of who he is.

Find inner strength. Raising a special needs child is far from easy and parents need to find their own core strength to rely upon. Courage in the face of possible medical emergencies is vital. A firm foundation in faith or a strong support group of friends and relatives can also help.

Parents need a break. Being a primary caregiver for a special needs child 24/7 can be daunting and stressful. Take time for an occasional respite. Let a trusted grandparent or sitter be with the child while you go out for a meal, to a spa, or even for a weekend getaway. Even a trip once a week to the library or mall can help parents stay grounded.

Have fun. Involve the family in fun activities as much as your child’s special needs allow. Many amusement parks are more than happy to accommodate special needs children. A visit to the park, a magic show, or other event that the child will enjoy can be an outing for the entire family to share. Laugh together and lighten the load.

Hold onto hope but be realistic. Offer your child encouragement and celebrate the small milestones. If your child doesn’t learn to walk until he is four or five, celebrate the occasion and be glad that he can walk at all.

Be involved as a family in the community, at church, in a playgroup, or in a support group for parents. Be connected to others and allow a special needs child to grow into who he or she may be.

Having a special needs child can change lives forever but it doesn’t have to be considered a disaster. With information, patience, support, and love, parents can help special needs children to excel to the best of their abilities and to be happy, the most important consideration of all.

"How to be a Super Parent without a Super Nanny"

The Decision

In order to be the kind of parent you are trying to be you have a decision to make. Are you completely committed to raising your children? This means they come first. You, your spouse, significant other, life partner, family or anyone else that may have ruled your life now come second. If this commitment is not for you that is fine. There are TV shows designed for the type of crisis you will eventually have. If you are completely committed to providing your children with the type of parent(s) and loving home they deserve then you are in the right place.

The Plan

The plan is actually an umbrella term for many of the things you are going to decide on as a parent. This plan can come at any stage of the game but at some point you have to have one. If you are super organized and are looking into parenting before you become pregnant or while you are pregnant two thumbs up to you. You are already one step ahead of the game. If you already have one, two, ten kids and have now decided you need to revamp your parenting style good for you too. No matter where you are in the child rearing process it is never to late to devise a plan and make a change.

The Parent Type

What type of parent are you going to be? You actually have three choices in this category; authoritarian, permissive, or authoritative. An authoritarian parent is one that controls their child completely. You rule with an iron fist. Permissive parenting involves letting the children do what ever they want. Anything they choose is ok. These are the parents you see on TV. Being an authoritative parent means setting rules, giving choices, allowing your children to make mistakes, following mistakes with consequences, and meaning what you say. Quick hint – These are the most successful type of parents.

The Rules and Routines

Every household needs rules and routines. Without them you are living in complete chaos. This means you have a set bedtime. Barring very special occasions your children go to bed at the same time every night. As a family you sit down and have dinner together. This also happens at the same time every night. Each member of the family has a few things they are responsible for. Sammy feeds the dog and waters the plants. Beth clears the table and takes out the trash. You have rules. And for broken rules you have consequences. If your children are school-age you have a homework area and routine. Limits are set on TV, video and computer time. Family activities are an important part of your routines.

With that said, this does not mean that there is no give and take in your structure. Flexibility, to a degree, is actually a very important part of parenting. If you have very young children you establish the family rules and routines. After they are established explain them to your children. This does not mean sit your three year old down on the couch and give her a five page list of the family rules. Explain them as the situation presents. For example, at bedtime do the same things in the same order every night. If bedtime is 8:00, at 7:30 run the bath water, when the bath is finished and pajamas are on read a story. At 8:00 tuck your child into bed and say goodnight. By establishing this routine bedtimes become a smooth transaction instead of a nightly wrestling match.

If you are the parents of older children you may want to have a family meeting to establish the rules and routines. You are still the parent, which means you ultimately have the final say, but by giving your children ownership and choices you are telling them that they are important and what they have to say matters. This will go a long way when you have to discipline for a broken rule.

The Discipline

Mean what you say and say what you mean. This is one of the golden rules of parenting. If your child breaks a rule be prepared to follow up with a consequence. If you don’t you are setting yourself up for a constant battle with your children.

This should be a familiar scene. You are in the grocery store stuck in isle seven with a group of shoppers. One such group is a mom and her two children. One child is standing in the middle of the cart throwing everything mom puts in on the floor. The other child is climbing on the shelves. Without saying anything to child one she is putting back in the cart everything he is throwing on the floor. As mom is doing laps around the buggy she is asking in her sweetest voice for little Johnny to stop climbing on the shelves. This is not working so she now threatens a spanking and begins to count to three, all the while still circling the cart. One, two, three and little Johnny is still climbing on the shelves. Mom has her hands full of groceries from the floor and is not even close enough to give Johnny the spanking she promised. Now comes the bribe. “If you please get down from the shelf I will let you pick out a toy.” Little Johnny just heard the magic words he was waiting for and is now down from the shelf. Mom, a little tired from all the laps, proceeds with her shopping thinking everything is ok.

For this mom everything is far from ok. Little Johnny has learned quite a few things from this shopping trip. He now knows that mom is a push over. She does not mean what she says and all he has to do is wait long enough and he will get what he wants.

So, what could mom have done differently? First, she should have changed the tone of her voice. Your kids need to know when you are happy with them and when they have upset you. This is easily done by using a different tone of voice. Notice that I did not say anything about yelling. Instead of using her sweet I just made chocolate cookies voiceshe should have used the “Get down now!” voice. Next, since she said that Johnny would get a spanking at three he should have gotten one. Last, the hardest part. Mom should have taken child one out of the cart and led both he and Johnny out the door and to the car. No one gets a treat, no one gets to act up in public and everyone has to go home.

For most parents disciplining a child in public is a scary and embarrassing thing. What you don’t understand is that is actually looks worse when you don’t discipline.

The Patience

Patience will be an important factor in the success of your parenting skills. If you are starting at the beginning of your parenting years establishing rules and routines will be a little bit easier for you. For those of you that are trying to make changes in your parenting styles a little extra patience may be necessary. You are not going to change everything over night. No matter what, know that you are making an important commitment to your children and your family. Everyone involved will be a better person because of that.

How to Be a Good Mother

There's already a lot to cover when learning how to be the best parent you can be. But there are certain challenges a mother faces as a parent that are distinct from those of being a father. Here's how to overcome them and raise your child(ren) well.

Steps

Be patient. Being a mother is a little challenging sometimes, especially if you have a daughter. But keep your cool and try to stay patient. Your' daughter snuck into your room and put on your makeup? Explain to her the practical reasons why she shouldn't do this, such as hygiene, clogging pores, etc. Then tell her why you don't like her doing it- she'll muck up her skin at this young age, this is your makeup, etc. Try this approach to other problems. Stay calm, explain the practical reasons not to do something, and then why YOU don't want them to do something.

Take an interest in your child's interests. If your son likes cars, maybe buy him a model car he can make. Ask questions, like what is your favourite type of car, which model is that car, etc. If your daughter is interested in animals, buy her something like a magazine for animals, and tell her some interesting sites and books she can look at. Ask her what her favourite animal is, info about animals, etc. Make an effort.

Don't be tight about money. Okay, so blowing money day after day isn't the best thing to do, but don't automatically say no to everything your kid asks for. If you always say no and follow this with a lecture about saving money, you will be known as the "Tight Parent", the one who never buys anything. Buy something small every now and then. Even offering to purchase some candy or chips at the petrol station can make a difference. Every now and then buy something big that you are sure your kid wants. For example, an i-pod, or a bike. And be generous at birthdays.

This can include taking a special day to go out to dinner, see a movie, and choose a nice gift or receive nice gifts from parents.

Make sure you are an approachable person to talk to. Try your hardest to always be understanding and a good listener. Knowing that they can go to their mum for friendship advice, information on sex and puberty, homework help, or just a hug goes a long way for kids. Not having someone they can talk to can cause kids to retire into a shell, so make sure you talk to them about how they feel regularly.

Be supportive, and never laugh at your kids hobbies, interests or friends. So, your son doesn't want to study medicine and become a doctor? Don't get angry, this is your childs' life and they can make some of their own decisions. Understand that it's okay if your child thinks differently from you. Don't get mad because they have a different opinion to you, or your son wants to become an engineer and not a doctor. Don't laugh at them, or their friends. Who cares if you daughter listens to heavy metal music and wears too much eyeliner? She's still your daughter. And so what if your son is friends with a guy who speaks in a funny accent or who has a different skin color? You might not do what your kids do, but that is their decision, not yours. You have a big impact on their lives already-you choose what school they go to, when they eat dinner, the amount of pocket money they get for doing chores. Don't over do it.

Be able to admit that something you did may have been wrong and don't be afraid to apologize. It might be hard, but it's better for everyone if you just admit to your mistakes and apologize. It saves everyone the trouble of being mad that you're being stubborn and teaches your kids that it's okay to make mistakes, as well as the importance of an apology. Simply calm yourself, evaluate the situation, determine what you did wrong and why. Then apologize and explain how or why you acted the way you did. A good way to start off may be: "I would like to apologize for how I acted earlier, and I realize that I was wrong," then transition into the rest.

Tips

Help your child with their homework. Not only will you know what they're doing in school, but your child will probably start coming to you for help by themselves.
Spend quality time with your child. Play ball with your son or do a craft project with your daughter. And make sure you have fun.

Take your child out to museums, the theatre, classical music concerts, and other cultural events. While they may not like it at the time, they will most likely be grateful when they are older that they have a more well-rounded background.

Always be supportive and accepting.

Always try to be fair.

Don't use the phrase, "I carried you for 9 months!" in an argument. Your kids will most likely not understand what you actually had to go through, and it won't be really effective.

A few other observations from another perspective:

Parents need to teach their children how to be successful adults. Don't routinely do things for your children that they can learn to do for themselves.

Life is a great teacher. Don't be too quick to rescue your child from the results of their own actions if the consequences are not overly severe.

Your child is an individual deserving of respect, not an extension or a reflection of you.

Love them unconditionally; don't force them to be who you think they should be in order to earn your love.

How to Encourage Good Study Habits in a Child

As with any habit (good or bad), the sooner good study habits are developed, the better they will stick. It's never too early to introduce your child to positive study habits, which will reward his or her efforts throughout school and life.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy
Things You'll Need
Calculators
Desk Chairs
Desk Lamps
Desk Set
Desks
Wastebaskets
Calendars
Personal Organizers

Steps

1
Step One
Be a good role model. If you sometimes bring work home with you or you're taking a course yourself, your child will learn your habits. Make 'em good!

2
Step Two
Help your child organize things. For example, the protractor and compass belong in the math binder, sheet music in the violin case.

3
Step Three
Help him or her organize space. The kitchen table is for eating; your child's desk is for studying.

4
Step Four
Help your child organize time. Establish a routine for completing schoolwork. It doesn't have to be the minute your child walks in the door; just agree on a set time and stick to it.

5
Step Five
Minimize distractions. Thirteen-year-old wisdom notwithstanding, geometric proofs are not better retained when learned concurrently with loud music, "South Park" and a telephone receiver at one ear.

6
Step Six
Check your child's work. Every night is unnecessary, but check it often enough that he or she knows you might - and that you care.

7
Step Seven
Insist that sloppy or careless work be redone, but don't correct errors; teachers need to know what students don't know.

8
Step Eight
Give praise whenever possible and appropriate. A sincere expression of pride in your child's academic accomplishments can go a long way toward making studying a habit.

Tips & Warnings

Don't wait until report card time or parents' night to address concerns about your child's study habits. If you believe he or she needs help, offer it now.

See what the school offers in the way of study skills training. Particularly in middle school and high school, helpful classes are becoming more readily available.