"Importance Of Our Families"

Families are always there to stand by you no matter what they will always protect you and the best thing you can do is to watch out for your family aswell as them watchin out for you they will always be there when you need them the most they will always listen to you if you have got a problem they will help you through it.

you may sometimes have arguments in the family but they will always be there and you will eventually say your sorrys and pretend it never happened they will also be there to support you if you need the support.

sometimes you have bad things happen in your family which sometimes you cant explain but whether some of your family is watchin over you or nt they will always be there for you when you need them the most when you go through the really bad times.

How to Remain a Loving Family While Fighting

Happy families work to find a solution that’s good for everyone.

Everyone wants to be a member of a loving family and every loving family has disagreements, arguments and silly little quarrels. Some disagreements lead to a better understanding, and others, well, no one remembers after the fight is over what started it in the first place. Loving families create a safety zone where anger can be expressed without anyone getting hurt. Such a family is not threatened by disagreements, they know that families can argue, learn something new and still get along. They’re aware of each member’s strengths; they value different points of view and consequently they won’t let anger fly out of control. They take care of each other even when they’re fighting. Here’s how you can do that too.

Things You’ll Need:

A willingness to understand

Step1

Physical violence is not allowed. Loving families have an irrevocable rule against physical violence. They may get into shouting matches, but they would never hit each other, throw things or destroy each other’s property. There’s a mutual respect for each other’s point of view, and even when they’re in the heat of an argument, there are places they won’t visit. They don’t insult each other or call each other names.


Step2

Handle disagreements in a way that's best for all members. A happy family knows that the goal of arguing is to clarify what’s happening. If one person is upset, family members want to find out what is going on rather than winning. They know that proving yourself right tears a family apart, but trying to understand what life is like from your family member’s perspective solidifies your connection. Happy families work to find a solution that’s good for everyone.


Step3

Assume positive intention. Happy families use anger as a signal that they need to sort through the muddle and find clarity. When one family member is angry, instead of assuming the worst, they come to each other in a spirit of cooperation. This provides a better chance of a positive outcome.


Step4

No blame allowed. When one family member is angry or upset, every member feels it. Instead of blaming the person who is angry, happy families commit to resolving the problem so that each member feels better.


Step5

Appreciate the differences. Instead of erasing differences, a loving family finds ways to incorporate elements of both points of view. There’s nothing wrong with feeling frustrated that your family member doesn’t do things the way you would do them, but avoid the trap of thinking that the reason your life is difficult is because of them.


Step6

Instead of saying, “We can’t get along,” say out loud, “We’re having a disagreement, but we’ll figure out a better solution.”

"Mother...the nurturer"

“I Love You Mother”

All that I am and all that I’ll ever be would not be possible if you hadn’t given birth to me so I’m letting you know right now that I love you so I Love You Mother you’re everything to me I Love You Mother you’re very special to me I remember those days when daddy passed away there were times we didn’t have a dime and when the winter came we made it through the cold and rain ‘cause of your strong hold on to Gods strong hand so for all the times that I didn’t call you when you were sick in bed, and for all the times I wasn’t there with you to rub your aching head I’m letting you know right now Mother that I love you so I Love you Mother you’re everything to me I Love You Mother you’re very special to me If you’re feeling that I am angry at you or if you’re thinking that you’re never on my mind and if you’re having doubts of whether I care for you let me straiten it out right now and ease your mind I’m letting you know right now that I love you so I Love You Mother I Love You Mother you’re everything to me I Love You Mother you’re very special to me.

"Strenghts of a mother..."

Mother

They carry children, they carry hardships,
they carry burdens but they hold
happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when the are happy and laugh
when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up for justice.

They don't take NO for an answer when
they believe there is a better solution.

They go without new shoes so their children
can have them. They go to the
doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel and
cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a
birth or a new marriage.

Their heart breaks when a friend dies.

They have sorrow at the loss of a family
member, yet they are strong when
they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and kiss can heal
a broken heart. Mothers come in all
sizes, in all colors and shapes.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or Email you
to show how much they care about
YOU. The heart of a mother is what makes
the world spin! Mothers do more than
just give birth. They bring joy and hope.

They give compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family &
friends. Mothers have a lot to say
and a lot to give.

"Top 10 Reasons to Turn Off Your TV"

Turning off your television will gain you, on average, about 4 hours per day. Imagine if you took that time to exercise, give your brain a workout and develop strong relationships. Not only would you be adding years to your life, you would become more interesting, energetic, and fun. So take the plunge and try not watching TV for a week. At first it will be strange and awkward, but stick with it and soon you will love all the extra time.

1. Television Eats Your Time

The average U.S. adult watches more than 4 hours of television a day. That's 25 percent of waking time spent every day. Imagine if you suddenly had 25 percent more time -- that's three extra months per year! You could get in all your exercise, cook your meals from scratch and still have time left over to write a novel.

Over a lifetime, an 80-year-old person would have watched 116,800 hours of television, compared to only 98,000 hours of work. As a nation, adults watch 880 million hours of television every day or 321 billion hours per year. Whew! Imagine what could get done if we all just stopped watching TV.

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2. Television Makes You Stressed

With the average of four hours a day gone, it's no wonder everyone is feeling stressed out and overwhelmed. We put aside paying bills, finishing projects, making phone calls and cleaning our homes to watch TV. We feel overwhelmed because of all the things we should be doing (exercising, spending time with family, eating right) go undone.

And when we feel overwhelmed, tired, and exhausted we don't have energy to anything but -- you guessed it -- watch TV. It is a dreadful cycle. So take a break from TV for a week and see what happens to your life.

3. Television Makes You Overweight

Eating while distracted limits your ability to assess how much you have consumed. According to Eliot Blass at the University of Massachusetts, people eat between 31 and 74 percent more calories while watching TV.

This could add, on average, about 300 calories extra per TV meal. Now consider that at least 40 percent of families watch TV while eating dinner. It becomes clear that TV is a big part of the obesity epidemic in the U.S. and that TV, in fact, makes you gain weight.

More Info

4. Television Makes You Uninteresting

Many people have whole conversations that are recaps of TV programs, sporting events and sitcoms. When asked about their real lives, there is little or nothing to report and no stories to tell (except the TV shows they have watched).

Life is too interesting and wonderful to spend your time either watching TV or recapping television to your friends. Find something interesting to do: volunteer, read, paint -- anything but watch more TV.

5. Television Ruins Your Relationships

A television is turned on an average of 7 hours and 40 minutes per day in many U.S. households. With the TV on that much, there is little time for you and your significant other or children to spend time together, share experiences, and develop deeper relationships.

Sitting together and watching TV does not grow a relationship. Turn that TV off and find something to do together -- cooking, exercising, taking a walk, anything.

6. Television is Not Relaxation

TV is the opposite of exercise. If you are watching TV you are usually sitting, reclining or lying down. You are burning as few calories as possible. All that extra food you eat while watching TV does not get burned off. Your brain goes into a lull.

But you are not relaxing -- your mind is still receiving stimuli from the TV, you are processing information and reacting emotionally. Have you ever found yourself thinking about TV characters? Do you ever dream about TV shows? These are signs that the brain is working hard to process all the TV you have been watching.

7. Television Loses Opportunities

If you are sitting and watching TV, nothing new or exciting is going to happen to you. New opportunities and ideas come from being out in the world, talking to people, and reading interesting things.

Watching TV isolates you. Nothing is going to change in your world if you are watching TV. Turn off the TV, go out into the world, talk to people, and see what happens.

8. Television is Addictive

Television can become addictive. Signs of TV addiction include:

• using the TV to calm down
• not being able to control your viewing
• feeling angry or disappointed in how much TV you watched
• feeling on edge if kept from watching
• feeling a loss of control while watching

If the idea of giving up TV for a week is horrifying, you may be addicted to television. Luckily, TV addiction is a habit and not a physical addiction like smoking. You should be able to control it once you are aware of the problem and make a decision to change.

9. Television Makes You Buy Things

By age 65, the average American has seen 2 million commercials. Your knowledge of products and brands comes from these TV commercials. Your perception of what you need also comes from these commercials.

If you didn't know that your iPod could talk to your running shoes, you wouldn't feel like your current shoes are too low-tech. If you didn't know about vacuums that never lose suction, your current vacuum would seem fine. Our perception of need is determined by what we see. Need less by watching less TV.

10. Television Costs Money

A basic cable package costs $43 per month and many packages cost much more than that. That comes to at least $500 a year spent on TV. For that much money you could: buy a membership to every museum or zoo in your town, get a gym membership, buy a nice bicycle, invest it every year for 10 years at 10 percent interest and have more than $10,000.

"How to be a Super Parent without a Super Nanny"

The Decision

In order to be the kind of parent you are trying to be you have a decision to make. Are you completely committed to raising your children? This means they come first. You, your spouse, significant other, life partner, family or anyone else that may have ruled your life now come second. If this commitment is not for you that is fine. There are TV shows designed for the type of crisis you will eventually have. If you are completely committed to providing your children with the type of parent(s) and loving home they deserve then you are in the right place.

The Plan

The plan is actually an umbrella term for many of the things you are going to decide on as a parent. This plan can come at any stage of the game but at some point you have to have one. If you are super organized and are looking into parenting before you become pregnant or while you are pregnant two thumbs up to you. You are already one step ahead of the game. If you already have one, two, ten kids and have now decided you need to revamp your parenting style good for you too. No matter where you are in the child rearing process it is never to late to devise a plan and make a change.

The Parent Type

What type of parent are you going to be? You actually have three choices in this category; authoritarian, permissive, or authoritative. An authoritarian parent is one that controls their child completely. You rule with an iron fist. Permissive parenting involves letting the children do what ever they want. Anything they choose is ok. These are the parents you see on TV. Being an authoritative parent means setting rules, giving choices, allowing your children to make mistakes, following mistakes with consequences, and meaning what you say. Quick hint – These are the most successful type of parents.

The Rules and Routines

Every household needs rules and routines. Without them you are living in complete chaos. This means you have a set bedtime. Barring very special occasions your children go to bed at the same time every night. As a family you sit down and have dinner together. This also happens at the same time every night. Each member of the family has a few things they are responsible for. Sammy feeds the dog and waters the plants. Beth clears the table and takes out the trash. You have rules. And for broken rules you have consequences. If your children are school-age you have a homework area and routine. Limits are set on TV, video and computer time. Family activities are an important part of your routines.

With that said, this does not mean that there is no give and take in your structure. Flexibility, to a degree, is actually a very important part of parenting. If you have very young children you establish the family rules and routines. After they are established explain them to your children. This does not mean sit your three year old down on the couch and give her a five page list of the family rules. Explain them as the situation presents. For example, at bedtime do the same things in the same order every night. If bedtime is 8:00, at 7:30 run the bath water, when the bath is finished and pajamas are on read a story. At 8:00 tuck your child into bed and say goodnight. By establishing this routine bedtimes become a smooth transaction instead of a nightly wrestling match.

If you are the parents of older children you may want to have a family meeting to establish the rules and routines. You are still the parent, which means you ultimately have the final say, but by giving your children ownership and choices you are telling them that they are important and what they have to say matters. This will go a long way when you have to discipline for a broken rule.

The Discipline

Mean what you say and say what you mean. This is one of the golden rules of parenting. If your child breaks a rule be prepared to follow up with a consequence. If you don’t you are setting yourself up for a constant battle with your children.

This should be a familiar scene. You are in the grocery store stuck in isle seven with a group of shoppers. One such group is a mom and her two children. One child is standing in the middle of the cart throwing everything mom puts in on the floor. The other child is climbing on the shelves. Without saying anything to child one she is putting back in the cart everything he is throwing on the floor. As mom is doing laps around the buggy she is asking in her sweetest voice for little Johnny to stop climbing on the shelves. This is not working so she now threatens a spanking and begins to count to three, all the while still circling the cart. One, two, three and little Johnny is still climbing on the shelves. Mom has her hands full of groceries from the floor and is not even close enough to give Johnny the spanking she promised. Now comes the bribe. “If you please get down from the shelf I will let you pick out a toy.” Little Johnny just heard the magic words he was waiting for and is now down from the shelf. Mom, a little tired from all the laps, proceeds with her shopping thinking everything is ok.

For this mom everything is far from ok. Little Johnny has learned quite a few things from this shopping trip. He now knows that mom is a push over. She does not mean what she says and all he has to do is wait long enough and he will get what he wants.

So, what could mom have done differently? First, she should have changed the tone of her voice. Your kids need to know when you are happy with them and when they have upset you. This is easily done by using a different tone of voice. Notice that I did not say anything about yelling. Instead of using her sweet I just made chocolate cookies voiceshe should have used the “Get down now!” voice. Next, since she said that Johnny would get a spanking at three he should have gotten one. Last, the hardest part. Mom should have taken child one out of the cart and led both he and Johnny out the door and to the car. No one gets a treat, no one gets to act up in public and everyone has to go home.

For most parents disciplining a child in public is a scary and embarrassing thing. What you don’t understand is that is actually looks worse when you don’t discipline.

The Patience

Patience will be an important factor in the success of your parenting skills. If you are starting at the beginning of your parenting years establishing rules and routines will be a little bit easier for you. For those of you that are trying to make changes in your parenting styles a little extra patience may be necessary. You are not going to change everything over night. No matter what, know that you are making an important commitment to your children and your family. Everyone involved will be a better person because of that.

"Family Bonding"

Top 10 Ways to Spend Quality Time with the Kids

Whether you are a traditional dad in a traditional family, a non custodial dad, a stay home dad, a step dad, or whatever your role, the most precious thing a dad can give his kids is his time.. A personal investment in your children is much more important to them than any toy, video game or electronic gadget. Here are some great, and sometimes creative, ways to get together with your kids in a positive way.

1. Tell them a story

Younger children especially love stories. And it is a fun way for you to invest time in their lives. Find out how to become a great storyteller and enjoy making believe with your kids.

2. Plan a picnic

During the spring and summer time, kids love to be outdoors with their dad. Here are some great ideas about planning a family picnic—food, games and fun.

3. Take a vacation

While it is great to hit the big amusement parks during summer vacation, families tend to spend more time apart than together in that kind of setting. Find out how you can plan an effective, positive and rewarding summer vacation and really be together.

4. Turn off the TV

It is frightening how important the television has become in some families. Sitting together and watching TV is entertaining, and sometimes educational, but it doesn’t foster quality together time and interaction. Here are some great ideas for what to do when you turn off the TV and focus on your family.

5. Spend the evening together

Our family has had a great experience over the years with setting aside one night each week for the family and only the family. Learn how many families around the world are getting the benefit from the family night concept, and what you can do to make family night work for your family.

6. Grow a garden

It’s outside and you get your hands dirty! What can be better than that for a great dad-child activity? Explore the world of gardening and find ways to involve your children in this interesting and positive activity.

7. Eat together

So many families struggle to find time to interact. Many families have found one key to more time together—planning mealtimes for family involvement and commitment. Here are some ways to make mealtime a together time.

8. Help with homework

At our house, we have two teen sons left at home, and it seems like most of my hours after work are consumed with homework. Find some great resources and tips for being a top flight homework helper.

9. Enjoy the cold weather

Even during the winter months, there are things dads and kids can do together. Check out some great ideas for fun outside in the cold, or inside around the table in wintertime.

10. Hit the road

Consider loading your family up for a road trip. While time cooped up in car is not considered quality time by some, it can create great memories and a chance to talk and interact in a different and enjoyable activity.

"The Power of Parents"

The Power of Parents

Teachers, peers and society play major roles in a child’s education. But parents are a child’s first teachers. And home is a child’s first classroom.

School can and they do spend enormous amounts of staff time and money trying to compensate for what is sometimes missing in children’s homes. But if a child is to succeed in school and in life, it is important that parents and other adults provide a solid base of support from the preschool years through the school years.

The kinds of support children need from parents is not necessarily or solely financial. Children need parents who can help hem learn how to think clearly, parents who ask their opinions and respect what they hear, parents who find the time to share themselves and instill solid values.

Of course, our children don’t come with instructions (there were certainly times I wish mine had). But recently, I ran across a short, but fairly complete Parent’s Pledge. It provides a good checklist for parents who are, indeed, a child’s first teachers.

Parent’s Pledge

1. I want my child to have the best possible education and I realize that strong school systems are essential
2. I will provide a home environment that will encourage my child to learn.
3. I will help my child build a small but meaningful home library.
4. I will insist that all homework assignments are done each night.
5. I will discuss at dinnertime what my child has learned at school each day
6. I will include stimulating books among the presents I give my child.
7. I will review newspaper stories and television news casts with my child and discuss how the news may affect our lives
8. I will meet regularly with my child’s teachers.
9. I will remind my child of the necessity of discipline in the class room? Especially self-discipline
10. I will help my child appreciate and enjoy the excitement in learning and the thrill of an inquiring mind.

To keep this pledge, parents need support: business that create family-friendly workplaces and give parents the flexibility to occasionally volunteer for duty in their child’s classroom. Parents need communities with information about school programs and student progress. Families want to belong. Teachers and students need parent’s involvement. It’s a two-way street that will lead our children to happiness and success.

"The Complex Mother Daughter Relationship"

When you were 6 you considered your mother a goddess. You’d sneak into her room and smear your face with her favorite lipstick, borrow her beautiful earrings, her favorite dress, and slip your feet into her high heals because you wanted to just like your mother. Suddenly at 20 you fear becoming your mother. The mother daughter relationship is complex!

For the next 10 years it seems that your vocabulary shrinks to two words “But Mooooommmmm” and then suddenly at age 30 she’s your best friend again. No other relationship is quite as primal as the one we have with our mother.

Ask any mother that’s over the age of 65 about her relationship with her sons and daughters. You’ll find most tell you that their daughter is like a best friend, someone you can discuss issues with that are important to women and things men don’t like to talk about. As mothers and daughters mature it appears that in most cases the bond becomes even closer.

For some women this bond never comes, for others it’s natural, and yet for others is requires considerable work. At some point in the relationship before that deep bond of the young child returns in adult hood a period of rebellion occurs where you are absolutely certain you do not want to be like your mother. This turns to a deeper understanding of who your mother is and suddenly a realization that you would be proud to be like her.

For those where the bond never comes relationships can be stormy. The number one cause for these stormy relationships is the inability of the mother to accept their daughter as an adult. A mother that visits and then tends to run the house, or sticks her nose in her daughters business when she has not been asked to is asking for trouble. Letting a daughter be her own adult person is critical to a strong mother daughter bond.

When a mother doesn’t accept her daughter as an adult and respect her daughter’s decisions the same rebellion that took hold during those earlier years, especially the teen years, will resurface.

The daughter will begin to hear control in every word issued by the mother and the mother will hear only anger when the daughter speaks. Needless to say this unhealthy environment can only lead to more turmoil. Old patterns can be hard to break but if you truly want a special relationship then both mother and daughter will need to make changes.

If you who have a mother that supports you and respects your decisions as an adult you need to nurture that relationship and give your mother the same respect for the decisions she makes as an adult. Remember unconditional love will build an unbreakable bond!

The best gift a mother can give her daughter is the gift of independence. As she grows into a young adult and later into a mother herself she will have the confidence to be who she wants to be thanks to the gift of a mother who truly understood the importance of independence and free will. Mother’s should start this process at a very young age; say 2 or 3 when children can begin to make basic decisions.

For some the complex relationship between mother and daughter will always be filled with turmoil unless both approach their demons and work towards a brighter future.

For others the complex relationship between mother and daughter will never seem complex. Instead it will be a bond so deep nothing can break it, built on love, admiration, respect, and independence.

Helping Your Child Become a Responsible Citizen

What Does "Strong Character" Mean?
Compassion
Honesty and Fairness
Self-discipline
Good Judgment
Respect for Others
Self-respect
Courage
Responsibility
Citizenship and Patriotism

Character is a set of qualities, or values, that shape our thoughts, actions, reactions and feelings.

People with strong character

*show compassion,
*are honest and fair,
*display self-discipline in setting and meeting goals,
*make good judgments,
*show respect to others,
*show courage in standing up for beliefs,
*have a strong sense of responsibility,
*are good citizens who are concerned for their community, and
*maintain self-respect.

*Compassion*

*Compassion, or empathy, means identifying with and being concerned about other people's feelings and needs. It provides the emotional root for caring about other people. It allows us to be understanding and tolerant of different points of views and beliefs, it makes us aware of the suffering of others, and it allows us to empathize with them or to feel their suffering as our own.

*Compassion also allows us to feel joy and excitement—rather than anger and despair—at other people's successes and achievements.

Babies may begin to cry when they hear other sounds of crying, and coo and laugh when they hear others making happy sounds. By the age of three, many children will make an effort to hug or comfort another child or a parent who seems upset. As children grow, compassion can guide their actions and behaviors in positive ways. They understand that by doing something wrong, they cause others pain or unhappiness.

We can promote compassion by helping our children to think about how others feel. For example, if your child says or does something hurtful to another child, help him* to focus his attention on the feelings of his victim by saying, for example, "How do you think Zack feels? Would you like to feel like that?" Children develop compassion by practicing acts of caring and kindness towards others. As adults, we need to emphasize the importance of helping others, giving others the benefit of the doubt and being open to differences.

What You Can Do

Talk about the point of view of others as you watch TV, read books or discuss other people with your child. For example, ask, "What do you think that character is feeling and thinking?"
Show care toward others, such as doing errands for sick neighbors or opening doors for others.
Give others the benefit of the doubt. If your child complains that a classmate deliberately pushed her down on the way to lunch, explain that sometimes when people are in a hurry, they don't watch where they're going—they don't mean to push or hurt anyone.
Be open to differences. If your child says "Our new neighbors dress funny," explain that people often wear clothes that reflect their cultures or native countries.

—Daddy, why is Grandma crying?
—She's very sad. One of her friends just died. Come sit with me. Do you remember how you felt when your gerbil, Whiskers, died?
—I felt sad and lonely.
—Well imagine how much worse Grandma must feel losing a friend. Maybe you can think of a way to help her.
—I could give her a hug...
—That's a great idea!

*Honesty and Fairness*

Simply put, honesty means being truthful with ourselves and with others. It means caring enough about others not to mislead them for personal benefit. It means facing up to our mistakes, even when we have to admit them to others or when they may get us into trouble.
Fairness means acting in a just way and making decisions, especially important ones, on the basis of evidence rather than prejudice. It means "playing by the rules" and standing up for the right of everyone to be treated equally and honestly.

To understand the importance of being honest and fair, children need to learn that living together in a family, community or even a nation depends on mutual trust. Without honesty and fairness, trusting each other becomes very difficult, and families—and societies—fall apart.
Words of caution: There is a big difference between being dishonest—lying or cheating—and "making things up," as children often do in fantasy play. If children are taught that not telling the truth is "a bad thing," some young children might assume that it is also a bad thing to pretend to be a princess or an astronaut. Although you should discourage your child from deliberately lying and cheating, you should also let him know that it is fine to role play and pretend.

What You Can Do

*Be a model of honest relations with others.
Discuss with your child what honesty is and is not. Point out, for example, that being honest doesn't mean telling someone you think he looks ugly. Kindness goes along with honesty.
—Dad, Why can't I choose what video to watch? It is not fair that Ramon gets to pick?
—Yes, it is fair, because you got to pick the video we watched last night. Now it is Ramon's turn.

Discuss fairness (chances are that your child will bring it up) in different situations. For example, how do we show fairness in our family? What does fairness mean to the community? What were standards of fairness in the past?
Talk about how you try to be fair in your life and work. What issues of justice have you wrestled with? Your adolescent will be particularly interested in talking with you about these things.

—Mom, why did you tell the cashier that she'd given you too much change? It was her mistake, so why didn't you just keep it.
—Because the money wasn't mine, and it would have been dishonest for me to keep it.

*Self-discipline*

*Self-discipline is the ability to set a realistic goal or make a plan—then stick with it. It is the ability to resist doing things that can hurt others or ourselves. It involves keeping promises and following through on commitments. It is the foundation of many other qualities of character.
Often self-discipline requires persistence and sticking to long-term commitments—putting off immediate pleasure for later fulfillment. It also includes dealing effectively with emotions, such as anger and envy, and developing patience.

*Learning self-discipline helps children regulate their behavior and gives them the willpower to make good decisions and choices. On the other hand, the failure to develop self-discipline leaves children wide open to destructive behavior. Without the ability to control or evaluate their impulses, they often dive headlong into harmful situations.

What You Can Do

Talk with your child about setting reachable goals. For example, help him break big tasks into little tasks that can be accomplished one at a time. Have the child pick a task and set a deadline for completing it. When the deadline has passed, check together to see if the task was completed.
Help your child build a sense of her competence. To do this, she needs experiences of success, no matter how small. This builds confidence and effort for the next time. Keep making the tasks just a little more challenging but doable.

—Who just called?
—It was Tyler, Dad. He wanted me to go with him to the video store to check out the new DVDs.
—What did you tell him?
—I said I couldn't, because you and I need to work on my science project for school.

*Good Judgment*

Children develop strong character by learning to think about and make sound judgments about what is right or wrong, good or bad. These are not always easy distinctions for adults to make, much less children.

For example, it can be difficult for a child to recognize the difference between acting bravely and acting recklessly. As parents, we can help by showing, through what we do as well as what we say, that it is important in such situations to think carefully and honestly about what should be done, carefully weighing how others will be affected by what we do.

Sometimes we get into trouble because we "just didn't think." We let our emotions lead us to actions that we regret later. Making good judgments requires skills in monitoring impulses, using reasoning to sort through feelings and facts, and thinking about the consequences of our actions.

Your child's ability to think and make sound judgments will improve as she matures. With age, however, it also may become easier for her to try to justify and make excuses for selfish or reckless behavior. However, if you have helped her develop strong habits of honesty, courage, responsibility and self-respect, your child will have the ability to see the flaws in her reasoning and be able to come to the right conclusion about what to do.

What You Can Do

-Teach your child to stop and think before acting on impulse.
-Teach your child to tell fact from feeling. Let him know that just because he feels strongly about something—such as hitting someone who made him angry—doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.
-Encourage your child to think about the consequences of her decisions.
-Tell her little stories about situations she might face and talk about actions she might take, who might be affected by her actions, what might happen because of her actions and what the best action might be.
-When your child has a problem with a rule, brainstorm together a list of possible reasons for the rule. This leads to greater understanding.

Remind your child to pay attention to the rules or codes that apply in each situation. For example, the rules for behaving in church are different from those for a football game.

—I got really mad because John wouldn't talk to me.
—What were you doing at the time?
—We were in line for lunch.
—Well, what's the rule about waiting in line?
—You aren't supposed to talk.
—Then John was doing the right thing, wasn't he?

*Respect for Others*

Respect for others is based on self-respect and is summed up in the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. It is the value that makes the world a more decent and civilized place.

People show respect in many ways. They speak and act civilly—avoiding insults, cruel remarks and rude or crude language. They are courteous and considerate of others, including family members and friends, and care about their rights, beliefs and well-being. They treat others fairly and as individuals, regardless of race, sex, age or ethnic group. They display tolerance for people who do not share their personal beliefs and likes—so long as those people do not harm others.

Research indicates that children learn to respect others when they are treated with respect themselves. Constant criticism of a child, negative comments about him and failure to praise his achievements can lead the child to be disrespectful to others. Treating children with respect pays large dividends both to families and to societies as a whole.

What You Can Do

Practice respectful ways of communicating. Show your child how to talk to others with respect.
Help your child to resolve conflicts nonviolently. When facing a conflict, encourage your child to do the following:

(1) Find out what the conflict is. For example, if your child is angry because his little brother barges into his room without knocking, help him to explain the conflict by using an "I" statement, such as "I feel angry when you come into my room without knocking."
(2) Next, suggest different ways he might resolve the conflict. He could say to his brother, "I know I can't always hear when I'm listening to music, so you knock really loud five times—if I don't answer, then open the door." Or, "If I don't answer your knock, slide a note under the door." Or, "Let's use our walkie talkies."
(3) Then have your child agree on one of the choices.
(4) Finally, have him make a plan to check whether the solution is working.

Teach your child to respect the valued traditions of your heritage. Talk about family customs for showing respect, for honoring elders and for helping the community. Encourage her to do these things.

—Kaylee, is that my new sweater you're wearing.
—Yeah, Mom. What's wrong? Doesn't it look OK with this skirt?
—How it looks on you isn't the point. You didn't ask me if you could borrow that sweater, did you?
—No, Mom. I guess I thought you wouldn't mind.
—Well, I do mind that you didn't ask first. That's not very respectful, is it?

*Self-respect*

*Self-respect means taking satisfaction in appropriate behavior and hard—won accomplishments. People with self-respect also respect others. They do not need to disparage others or build themselves up by bragging or exaggerating their abilities or talents. They do not need lots of money or power to feel good about themselves.

People who respect themselves view selfishness, loss of self-discipline, recklessness, cowardice and dishonesty as wrong and unworthy of them. They have inner strength and are unwilling to let others use or manipulate them. They know that showing patience or tolerance does not mean allowing others to mistreat them.

People with self-respect do not crumble when they fail. They accept mistakes as a part of life. As we help our children set high standards for themselves, we also need to let them know that failure is no embarrassment when they have done their best.

Teaching children self-respect, however, does not mean complimenting everything they do. They also need honest criticism from time to time. When we do criticize, we should focus on things they have done, not on them personally.

What You Can Do

Encourage your child to build a positive identity that focuses on her integrity and talents.
Emphasize that character is built upon the decisions and actions a person takes each day.
Work with your child to help him reach his full potential by encouraging him to develop his talents, set reachable goals and honor himself as a unique person.

Teach your child how to choose good values. Help her reason about what are worthy goals and what are proper means to reach those goals.

—Why so down, Charlie?
—We lost the game.
—Did you play a good game?
—Yeah, we played our hardest.
—There's no shame in losing a game when you've played your best and the other team just played better. Hold your head high, son!

*Courage*

*Courage is the ability to overcome fear in order to do what is right, even if it is difficult or risky.

*Courage can mean facing physical dangers, but it also can mean standing up for beliefs and making hard decisions on the basis of evidence rather than on what is the easy or popular thing to do. It means being neither reckless nor cowardly but facing up to our duties and responsibilities.
*Courage, however, does not mean never being afraid; and children should be told that there are times when it is all right to be frightened and to run away from danger. But they also need to learn how to face and overcome some fears, such as a fear of the dark.

What You Can Do

Coach your child on how to be brave. Praise him when he acts courageously (but never ridicule him for any reason—ridicule can have long-lasting effects on a child's self-confidence).

Discuss with your child how to say no. Sometimes children don't know how to say no to peers who ask them to do dangerous or risky things. After identifying ways that she might be tempted, teach your child a three-step process for self-protection:

Apply the "trouble" rule: Will this action break a law or rule?
Make a good decision—think carefully about the risks or possible consequences.
Act fast to avoid trouble, using options such as the following:

Say no!
Leave.
Make a joke.
Suggest something better to do.
Make an excuse such as, "My dad will get really mad."
Act shocked.
—Mom, some of the kids were smoking after school today. One of them offered me a cigarette.
—What did you do?
—I said no.
—Then what happened.
—Everybody laughed at me and called me a baby.
—So then what did you do?
—I just walked away.
—Good for you! That took a lot of courage, and I'm proud of you.

*Responsibility*

Being responsible means being dependable, keeping promises and honoring our commitments. It is accepting the consequences for what we say and do. It also means developing our potential.
People who are responsible don't make excuses for their actions or blame others when things go wrong. They think things through and use good judgment before they take action. They behave in ways that encourage others to trust them.

People who are responsible take charge of their lives. They make plans and set goals for nurturing their talents and skills. They are resilient in finding ways to overcome adversity. They make decisions, taking into account obligations to family and community.

Children need to learn that being part of a family and a community involves accepting responsibilities. When each of us acts responsibly, our families and communities will be stronger.

—I'm going to Mattie's house, Dad.
—Have you walked the dog?
—No. I'll do that when I get back.
—Casey, walking the dog is your responsibility. In this house, meeting our responsibilities comes first. Walk the dog, and then you can go to Mattie's.

What You Can Do

Make agreements with your child and expect him to follow through.

When things go wrong, help your child take responsibility for her part and make a plan to do things differently next time.

Encourage your child to find out more about the world and how his actions may affect others far away.

*Citizenship and Patriotism*

Citizenship requires doing our share for our community and our country. Being a good citizen means caring about the good of society and participating actively to make things better.
Research reveals that participating in community service programs and learning about the importance and value of serving others can be a powerful influence on positive character development.

Patriotism is an important part of good citizenship. Patriotism is love of and loyalty to our country. It involves honoring the democratic ideals on which the country is based and expecting elected officials to do the same, respecting and obeying its laws and honoring its flag and other symbols. It also involves accepting the responsibilities of good citizenship, such as keeping informed about national issues, voting, volunteering and serving the country in times of war.

What You Can Do

Take your child with you when you vote. Talk to him about the candidates, the offices they aspire to hold and their positions on key issues.
Participate in community-building activities, such as cleaning up parks and assisting with school activities.

Discuss citizenship with your child and find examples of what good citizens have done for their communities.

—Mom, where are you going?
—I'm going to a meeting. People who live on this block are getting together to plan how we can clean up that empty lot down the street and turn it into a playground.
—That would be great, Mom! But I thought Aunt Jen was coming over tonight.
—She's coming over tomorrow night instead. She understands it's important that I be at tonight's meeting. A playground down the street is just what our community and our family need, and I want to help make it happen.

Children learn about strong character when parents and other adults in their daily lives
set a good example through their own behavior and actions,
set and communicate high standards and clear expectations,
coach them on how to be responsible and kind, and
use literature to reinforce the values of strong character.

*Set a Good Example*

We are always teaching our children something by our words and our actions. They learn from seeing. They learn from hearing and from overhearing. They learn from us, from each other, from other adults in the community and by themselves.

Children share the values of their parents about the most important things in life. Our priorities and principles and our examples of good behavior can teach our children to take the high road when other roads look tempting.

Remember that children do not learn the values that make up strong character simply by being told about them. They learn by seeing the people around them act on and uphold those values in their daily lives. In our daily lives, we can show our children that we respect others. We can show them our compassion and concern when others are suffering, and our own self-discipline, courage and honesty as we make difficult decisions. How we conduct our everyday activities can show our children that we always try to do our best to serve our families, communities and country.

The way that we view money and material goods also can mold our children's character. If we see our self-worth and the worth of others in terms of cars, homes, furniture, nice clothes and other possessions, our children are likely to develop these attitudes as well. Of course, it is important to meet our children's needs, but it is also important to help them understand the difference between their needs and their wants. The expensive jacket that your child has to have may be OK—if you can afford it.

Finally, we need to be consistent in upholding the values we want our children to respect and not present them with conflicting values. We may tell our children that cheating is wrong, for example, yet brag to a neighbor about avoiding paying taxes. We may say that rudeness to others is unacceptable, yet laugh when we see that behavior on a favorite TV show.

—Daddy, why are you leaving that note on the garbage can?
—There's broken glass inside, Matthew, and I don't want the garbage collectors to get hurt. I'm warning them about the glass.
—Are they your friends?
—No. I don't know them, but I still don't want them to get hurt.

*Set High Standards and Clear Expectations*

Some parents set low standards for their children, or do not hold their children to the standards they set. Parents may do this because they think that expecting too much of a child will harm his self-confidence. However, research shows that the opposite is true. A child builds self-confidence by trying (with guidance) to meet high standards, even when he has to struggle to do so.
Parents do not always make their standards for behavior clear to their children. It is not enough to mention your expectations once or twice. Remember that children grow and change so fast that they can easily misunderstand or forget what you have told them. Their understanding of the world is developing almost constantly and their "new" minds need to be reminded of your expectations. Because of this, you need to repeat your guidelines often and to do so in a way that makes sense as your child changes and develops.

—Dad, nobody's going to see inside the model's wing. Why do you work so hard with all those little pieces?
—Because that's the right way to build the plane, Martha. It makes the wing strong when the plane flies, and that's more important than what people see. I want to make the best plane I can.

Do you want to help?

Words of caution: Your expectations must be appropriate for your child's age and stages of mental, emotional, social and physical development. For example, it's not appropriate to tell an infant not to cry and expect him to obey. Likewise, it's not appropriate to expect a 3-year-old to sit still for hours or for a 13-year-old not to worry about how she looks. Pay attention to what your child can do, start there and help her learn skills to move forward. Be gentle but firm in your expectations.

*Coach *

Remember how you learned to drive or cook? You practiced while someone coached you, reminding you what to do until you were able to coach yourself and then, eventually, do it automatically.

Children learn values much the same way. They practice different kinds of behavior, while, you, as coach, help focus their attention on what is important and on fine-tuning important skills. You support them with your praise, encouragement and gentle reminders.

If you don't coach your child, she will find her coaches elsewhere and be guided by the values of the media, her peers and anyone else who captures her interest.

So, step up to the plate, don't be afraid and help your child learn how to be a good person, step by step.

—Paul, have you written a thank-you note to your aunt and uncle for the birthday present they sent?
—No, but I told them that I liked it when they gave it to me.
—Well, that's a start, but they were nice enough to take the time to buy you a gift, so you need to show them that you appreciate it. Here, you sit with me and write your note to them while I write one to Ms. Miller—remember how she stayed to help me clean up after your birthday party?

*Use Literature*

Literature can be a very powerful teaching tool. In fact, people in stories, poems and plays can influence children almost as much as the real people who read with them. Therefore, reading to and with children, encouraging older children to read on their own and talking with children about the books they read are important ways to help children learn about and develop the values of strong character and good citizenship.

*Asking Questions to Guide Discussions*

Use questions such as the following to help your child think about the values of stories:

MotivationHow did the people in the story act?
Did they have good or bad motives?Who were the heroes?
Why were they heroes?
Were there villains?
Why were they villains?
JudgmentDid the people make good decisions?
Why or why not?

Action

How did the people carry out their decisions?
What kinds of steps did they take? Were there obstacles?
How did they respond to the obstacles?

*Sensitivity*

Did the people think about the welfare of others?Did the story have a good or bad ending? For whom was it good? For whom was it bad?How could the story have turned out better for everyone?
Choosing Books
Choosing which books to use for character development can take some time and effort. Many good selections are available, including fiction and nonfiction books and books of poems, folk tales, fables and plays.

There are excellent modern stories, as well as timeless classics. There is also a growing number of books that allow children to explore values across various cultures and countries. For lists of books to read to and with your child, see Books That Can Support Character Development on pages of this booklet. For more titles or additional help in choosing books, talk with your local or school librarian.

Words of caution: Although the moral theme of a story, nonfiction book, play or poem may be very clear to us, it is not always so to children. Always talk with your child about what she is reading to see how well she understands its theme or message. Be patient and listen carefully to your child's ideas. If her ideas are too far off the mark, talk with her about how she arrived at them—perhaps she misunderstood a word or is missing some important piece of information. Reread parts of the story with her and talk about the message.

For more information about reading aloud with your children, see Helping Your Child Become a Reader.
—What did you think about the ant letting the grasshopper come stay with him over the winter?
—Well, it was nice of him. He was kind, and it was good that he wanted to help the grasshopper.
—But what about the grasshopper? Shouldn't he have prepared for the winter, as the ant did?
—Sure, but sometimes we don't do things that we should. I'll bet he learned a lesson, though. I'll bet he gets ready for next winter.

Role Of Women in Marriage & Home

The Lord said: "I will make a help meet." That happened when the man was only in the garden. (Genesis 2:18). (Genesis 2:18). And still narrating the Bible And still narrating the Bible: "From the rib he had removed the man, the Lord God made a woman and was presented to man" (Genesis 2:22) "From the rib he had removed the man , the Lord God made a woman and was presented to man "(Genesis 2:22) I noticed the word "help meet" and "rib" of Adam. I noticed the word "help meet" and "rib" of Adam.

Women are not less than men is because of the same substance of the man. Women are not less than men is because of the same substance of the man. Neither is a suitable patron as what some people think, but it is a "help meet" as said writing. Neither is a suitable pattern as what some people think, but it is a "help meet" as said writing. It is a partner in administering the household under the leadership of men. It is a partner in administering the household under the leadership of men. It is a help meet. It is a help meet.

Well then Proverbs 14:1 says: "The wise woman builds her house, the foolish, with his hands destroyed." If you are wise you will be a help meet, but you can destroy your home.

Ephesians 5:22 says: "Wives, sométanse to their own husbands as to the Lord" and later in

Ephesians 5:33 "that the wife respects her husband." Women instead of riding a feminist movements should fulfil its role within from home. Here are some points to remember about the subjugation of women to male authority: Here are some points to remember about the subjugation of women to male authority:

1. Being in what he does not harm its biblical and spiritual beliefs. Show dignified resistance to wrong. Show dignified resistance to wrong.

2. When it does not harm their physical integrity.

3. Support in all its activities and ideals with love and respect. (If you are not a Christian this could be instrumental in coming to Christ as 1 Peter 3:1,2).

4. Women should leave him to be his head and help you make good decisions. 4. Women should let him be your head and help you make good decisions.

That he is the head and not think well does not mean that you have to stay silent and receive damage.

Let's see what he says Proverbs 31:10-31 on the qualities of the virtuous woman: Let's see what he says Proverbs 31:10-31 on the qualities of the virtuous woman: V.10-is virtuous: I could say "is full of virtues.

" Has qualities holy woman worthy of admiration

V.10-is virtuous: I could say "is full of virtues." Has qualities holy woman worthy of admiration.

V. 11 - Create confidence in the husband: A woman who does not fulfil its role as her husband desconfié it because their attitudes always carry ills.

V. 12 - Hacedora good: Her husband receives no offenses, assault or damaging criticism.

12 - Hacedora good: Her husband receives no offenses, assault or damaging criticism. Not pendenciera or seek litigation with people.Nor is murmuradora and devoted to gossip. Focuses on making good to his family, to his friends, to the needy and the church.

V. 13-19 - worker and head of household: Not a haragana only asks rights rather than sue they earn on their lifestyle. You do not need to fight to win respect. Anda attentive to the needs of home and it's a good administrator of the money, not wasteful. If you can work it does. Although not taken full responsibility, then, the man said: "Your husband is respected in the community, a position between the authorities of the place." (V.23) Women who demand rights, behold their obligations. They may do more than many men if they wanted to.

V. 20 - compassion on the need for others: It is not selfish, or lack of love. I love to the needy. Today women are required to live the principles of the kingdom of God not only with words but with their attitudes towards people in need.While men macho spirit mistreating women and promoting authority they do not deserve nor have won, women could transform the world of people in need. It is not that women are an instrument sex. That is a lie.In light of the women's writing is more than that. Women have always played a pivotal role in biblical scripture. Who was Jesus to death? Who was Jesus to death? Women Who not denied at the time carrying the cross? Women. Who you were born?From a woman. From a Woman. Who prevented the death of the Jews exposing their lives to the King Vashti?A Woman: Esther. It may continue citing more examples of women of God.Women are important to God.
We are looking for women as well.

V. 26 - Wisdom: Your wisdom shown in taking wise decisions in raising their children, things from home and his treatment for the husband.

V. 30.31 - Its beauty is internal rather than external: Not vanidosa nor ostentatious but simple. That may be more admired that teach the body in the streets.

Common questions of women:

1. Do I have to undergo the man even if this does not take his place as head? The truth is that many women do not leave men as the head because they themselves do not take their position.

They have to take control.
Some women say. A) He is not the head. B) does not take the initiative to be head.The women must submit to men forever.What we really can do is

1. Teach a man to be head not taking decisions that belong to him.

2. Show responsibility to the man in the moments that do not wish to take. Find the right time. .

3. Identify the consequences that implies that he did not take his authority.

2. Does Valen my opinions at home? Of course, your ideas are not worth less than men. In reality the decisions of the household would have to be mutually agreed and taking all points of view. If the view of women is not respected it should find a way to make them known explaining the pros and cons of the views of him versus her.

3. Do I have to undergo around and even I stay silent in the face abuse him? The answer is no. As we mentioned at the beginning women should be careful not to respect their rights. You must be careful that the orders it receives no contrary convictions.If so, she may make a dignified resistance, without shouting or blows, with the strength of the word of God and prayer. The role of women at home should not be silent, or a hostile environment and abuse did it. A woman has much to do.Instead of being a passive woman who seeks only their rights should be really concerned about fulfilling its role.The role of women in marriage (entiéndase relationship between husband and wife), and at home (the whole kernel) is important not only because of the responsibility that goes with it socially but by what God says about them.