As with any habit (good or bad), the sooner good study habits are developed, the better they will stick. It's never too early to introduce your child to positive study habits, which will reward his or her efforts throughout school and life.
Instructions
Difficulty: Moderately Easy
Things You'll Need
Calculators
Desk Chairs
Desk Lamps
Desk Set
Desks
Wastebaskets
Calendars
Personal Organizers
Steps
1
Step One
Be a good role model. If you sometimes bring work home with you or you're taking a course yourself, your child will learn your habits. Make 'em good!
2
Step Two
Help your child organize things. For example, the protractor and compass belong in the math binder, sheet music in the violin case.
3
Step Three
Help him or her organize space. The kitchen table is for eating; your child's desk is for studying.
4
Step Four
Help your child organize time. Establish a routine for completing schoolwork. It doesn't have to be the minute your child walks in the door; just agree on a set time and stick to it.
5
Step Five
Minimize distractions. Thirteen-year-old wisdom notwithstanding, geometric proofs are not better retained when learned concurrently with loud music, "South Park" and a telephone receiver at one ear.
6
Step Six
Check your child's work. Every night is unnecessary, but check it often enough that he or she knows you might - and that you care.
7
Step Seven
Insist that sloppy or careless work be redone, but don't correct errors; teachers need to know what students don't know.
8
Step Eight
Give praise whenever possible and appropriate. A sincere expression of pride in your child's academic accomplishments can go a long way toward making studying a habit.
Tips & Warnings
Don't wait until report card time or parents' night to address concerns about your child's study habits. If you believe he or she needs help, offer it now.
See what the school offers in the way of study skills training. Particularly in middle school and high school, helpful classes are becoming more readily available.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
How to Encourage Your Child to Love Learning
Ultimately, we want our kids to love to learn. A passion for learning is quite different from just studying to earn a grade or to please parents or teachers. Those who develop a love of learning at an early age continue the process throughout their lives and are generally more successful, interesting, and happier than those who don't.
Steps
*Talk with your child about the things you read and hear, especially the things you find interesting.
*Ask your kids how they feel about various issues (current events, relationships, values). Allow them to have opinions without passing judgment. Ask your children to help you understand why they feel the way they do.
*Pursue your own hobbies and interests. Share these with your child, but do not require that he or she follow your pursuits.
*Encourage your kids to have interests of their own. If they show curiosity about a hobby, area of study, sport, or instrument, encourage and support them in any way your finances allow.
*Read books. Read on your own, which sets a good example. Read to your kids, to get them hooked on books.
*Expose your child to a wide variety of experiences including music, plays, sports, museums, travel, reading, dance, games, food, puzzles, ethnic activities, etc. One never knows how what exposure may influence future life choices.
*Play "thinking games" with your kids. These are games where there is not just one answer. Scrabble and chess are examples. Emphasize the value of thoughtful moves rather than the importance of winning.
*Remember that you are your child's best teacher. School, educational games and television, and a shelf full of books all can't accomplish what you can in the education of your child. It doesn't take much effort to inspire a child's brain in the everyday world - the place where they need it the most. Here are a few simple things you can do to engage your child: count the number of houses, black cars, bicycles, etc. that you pass as you drive; search for letters, numbers, or colors on the restaurant menu; when you are going to use a gum-ball machine, hold out a handful of coins and explain the differences, and that the machine will only take the quarter (then let your child pick out a quarter and put it in the machine - they love this!).
*Start sooner, rather than later. Fostering independence in your child is very important for their brain development and how they feel about learning. Sometimes, activities seem too difficult for your child only because you haven't encouraged them to do it yet. For example, things like peeling their own banana, picking out which shirt to wear, and feeding the family cat, are all things that a young toddler can do. Letting your child do things like this makes them feel more in control of their world, which in turn inspires them toward bigger and better exploits. When the world is in your hands, you want to do something with it, don't you?
*Tips*
If you demonstrate excitement about learning and are open to your children pursuing their own interest areas, it will be hard for them to resist the opportunities.
Explain to your child why he or she is learning, and how it will be worthwhile (e.g. learning multiplication tables)
*Warnings*
Try not to go overboard about grades. If your child makes a low grade, don't scream and yell, but instead show them what they did wrong and help them understand. For good grades, don't buy big, expensive things to celebrate (at least not all the time). Your child will feel pressured/persuaded to do well and will dread low grades. Giving too many rewards also encourages bad habits and manners, such as bragging, and can lead to complexes (such as fear of failure). Understand that not all children will get A's and B's and that C's are OKAY and considered good, as C's are average.
Steps
*Talk with your child about the things you read and hear, especially the things you find interesting.
*Ask your kids how they feel about various issues (current events, relationships, values). Allow them to have opinions without passing judgment. Ask your children to help you understand why they feel the way they do.
*Pursue your own hobbies and interests. Share these with your child, but do not require that he or she follow your pursuits.
*Encourage your kids to have interests of their own. If they show curiosity about a hobby, area of study, sport, or instrument, encourage and support them in any way your finances allow.
*Read books. Read on your own, which sets a good example. Read to your kids, to get them hooked on books.
*Expose your child to a wide variety of experiences including music, plays, sports, museums, travel, reading, dance, games, food, puzzles, ethnic activities, etc. One never knows how what exposure may influence future life choices.
*Play "thinking games" with your kids. These are games where there is not just one answer. Scrabble and chess are examples. Emphasize the value of thoughtful moves rather than the importance of winning.
*Remember that you are your child's best teacher. School, educational games and television, and a shelf full of books all can't accomplish what you can in the education of your child. It doesn't take much effort to inspire a child's brain in the everyday world - the place where they need it the most. Here are a few simple things you can do to engage your child: count the number of houses, black cars, bicycles, etc. that you pass as you drive; search for letters, numbers, or colors on the restaurant menu; when you are going to use a gum-ball machine, hold out a handful of coins and explain the differences, and that the machine will only take the quarter (then let your child pick out a quarter and put it in the machine - they love this!).
*Start sooner, rather than later. Fostering independence in your child is very important for their brain development and how they feel about learning. Sometimes, activities seem too difficult for your child only because you haven't encouraged them to do it yet. For example, things like peeling their own banana, picking out which shirt to wear, and feeding the family cat, are all things that a young toddler can do. Letting your child do things like this makes them feel more in control of their world, which in turn inspires them toward bigger and better exploits. When the world is in your hands, you want to do something with it, don't you?
*Tips*
If you demonstrate excitement about learning and are open to your children pursuing their own interest areas, it will be hard for them to resist the opportunities.
Explain to your child why he or she is learning, and how it will be worthwhile (e.g. learning multiplication tables)
*Warnings*
Try not to go overboard about grades. If your child makes a low grade, don't scream and yell, but instead show them what they did wrong and help them understand. For good grades, don't buy big, expensive things to celebrate (at least not all the time). Your child will feel pressured/persuaded to do well and will dread low grades. Giving too many rewards also encourages bad habits and manners, such as bragging, and can lead to complexes (such as fear of failure). Understand that not all children will get A's and B's and that C's are OKAY and considered good, as C's are average.
Disciplining your child
How do you keep a 1-year-old from heading toward the VCR? What should you do when your preschooler throws a fit? How can you get a teenager to respect your authority?
Whatever the age of your child, it's important to be consistent when it comes to discipline. If you don't stick to the rules and consequences that you set up, your child isn't likely to either.
Here are some ideas about how to vary your approach to discipline to best fit your family.
Ages 0 to 2
Babies and toddlers are naturally curious. So it's wise to eliminate temptations and no-nos — items such as VCRs, stereos, jewelry, and especially cleaning supplies and medications should be kept well out of reach. When your crawling baby or roving toddler heads toward an unacceptable or dangerous play object, calmly say "No" and either remove your child from the area or distract him or her with an appropriate activity.
Timeouts can be effective discipline for toddlers. A child who has been hitting, biting, or throwing food, for example, should be told why that behavior is unacceptable and taken to a designated timeout area — a kitchen chair or bottom stair — for a minute or two to calm down (longer timeouts are not effective for toddlers).
It's important to not spank, hit, or slap a child of any age. Babies and toddlers are especially unlikely to be able to make any connection between their behavior and physical punishment. They will only feel the pain of the hit.
And don't forget that kids learn by watching adults, particularly their parents. Make sure your behavior is role-model material. You'll make a much stronger impression by putting your own belongings away rather than just issuing orders to your child to pick up toys while your stuff is left strewn around.
Ages 3 to 5
As your child grows and begins to understand the connection between actions and consequences, make sure you start communicating the rules of your family's home. Explain to kids what you expect of them before you punish them for a certain behavior. For instance, the first time your 3-year-old uses crayons to decorate the living room wall, discuss why that's not allowed and what will happen if your child does it again (for instance, your child will have to help clean the wall and will not be able to use the crayons for the rest of the day). If the wall gets decorated again a few days later, issue a reminder that crayons are for paper only and then enforce the consequences.
The earlier that parents establish this kind of "I set the rules and you're expected to listen or accept the consequences" standard, the better for everyone. Although it's sometimes easier for parents to ignore occasional bad behavior or not follow through on some threatened punishment, this sets a bad precedent. Consistency is the key to effective discipline, and it's important for parents to decide together what the rules are and then uphold them.
While you become clear on what behaviors will be punished, don't forget to reward good behaviors. Don't underestimate the positive effect that your praise can have — discipline is not just about punishment but also about recognizing good behavior. For example, saying "I'm proud of you for sharing your toys at playgroup" is usually more effective than punishing a child for the opposite behavior — not sharing. And be specific when doling out praise; don't just say, "Good job!"
If your child continues an unacceptable behavior no matter what you do, try making a chart with a box for each day of the week. Decide how many times your child misbehave before some punishment kicks in or how long the proper behavior must be displayed before it is rewarded. Post the chart on the refrigerator and then track the good and bad behaviors every day. This will give your child (and you) a concrete look at how it's going. Once this begins to work, praise your child for learning to control misbehavior and, especially, for overcoming any stubborn problem.
Timeouts also can work well for kids at this age. Establish a suitable timeout place that's free of distractions and will force your child to think about how he or she has behaved. Remember, getting sent to your room may have meant something in the days before computers, TVs, and video games were stored there. Don't forget to consider the length of time that will best suit your child. Experts say 1 minute for each year of age is a good rule of thumb; others recommend using the timeout until the child is calmed down (to teach self-regulation).
It's important to tell kids what the right thing to do is, not just to say what the wrong thing is. For example, instead of saying "Don't jump on the couch," try "Please sit on the furniture and put your feet on the floor."
Ages 6 to 8
Timeouts and consequences are also effective discipline strategies for this age group.
Again, consistency is crucial, as is follow-through. Make good on any promises of discipline or else you risk undermining your authority. Kids have to believe that you mean what you say. This is not to say you can't give second chances or allow a certain margin of error, but for the most part, you should act on what you say.
Be careful not to make unrealistic threats of punishment ("Slam that door and you'll never watch TV again!") in anger, since not following through could weaken all your threats. If you threaten to turn the car around and go home if the squabbling in the backseat doesn't stop, make sure you do exactly that. The credibility you'll gain with your kids is much more valuable than a lost beach day.
Huge punishments may take away your power as a parent. If you ground your son or daughter for a month, your child may not feel motivated to change behaviors because everything has already been taken away.
Ages 9 to 12
Kids in this age group — just as with all ages — can be disciplined with natural consequences. As they mature and request more independence and responsibility, teaching them to deal with the consequences of their behavior is an effective and appropriate method of discipline.
For example, if your fifth grader's homework isn't done homework before bedtime, should you make him or her stay up to do it or even lend a hand yourself? Probably not — you'll miss an opportunity to teach a key life lesson. If homework is incomplete, your child will go to school the next day without it and suffer the resulting bad grade.
It's natural for parents to want to rescue kids from mistakes, but in the long run they do kids a favor by letting them fail sometimes. Kids see what behaving improperly can mean, and will probably not make those mistakes again. However, if your child does not seem to be learning from natural consequences, you should set up your own consequences to help modify the behavior more effectively.
Ages 13 and Up
By now you've laid the groundwork. Your child knows what's expected and that you mean what you say about the consequences of bad behavior. Don't let down your guard now — discipline is just as important for teens as it is for younger children. Just like the 4-year-old who needs you to set a bedtime and stick to it, your teen needs to know boundaries, too.
Set up rules regarding homework, visits by friends, curfews, and dating and discuss them beforehand with your teenager so there will be no misunderstandings. Your teen will probably complain from time to time, but also will realize that you're in control. Believe it or not, teens still want and need you to set limits and enforce order in their lives, even as you grant them greater freedom and responsibility.
When your teen does break a rule, taking away privileges may seem the best plan of action. While it's fine to take away the car for a week, for example, be sure to also discuss why coming home an hour past curfew is unacceptable and worrisome.
Remember to give a teenager some control over things. Not only will this limit the number of power struggles you have, it will help your teen respect the decisions that you do need to make for him or her. You could allow a younger teen to make decisions concerning school clothes, hair styles, or even the condition of his or her room. As your teen gets older, that realm of control might be extended to include an occasional relaxed curfew.
It's also important to focus on the positives. For example, have your teen earn a later curfew by demonstrating positive behavior instead of setting an earlier curfew as punishment for irresponsible behavior.
A Word About Spanking
Perhaps no form of discipline is more controversial than spanking. Here are some reasons why the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) discourages spanking:
Spanking teaches kids that it's OK to hit when they're angry.
Spanking can physically harm children.
Rather than teaching kids how to change their behavior, spanking makes them fearful of their parents and merely teaches them to avoid getting caught.
For kids seeking attention by acting out, spanking may inadvertently "reward" them — negative attention is better than no attention at all.
Whatever the age of your child, it's important to be consistent when it comes to discipline. If you don't stick to the rules and consequences that you set up, your child isn't likely to either.
Here are some ideas about how to vary your approach to discipline to best fit your family.
Ages 0 to 2
Babies and toddlers are naturally curious. So it's wise to eliminate temptations and no-nos — items such as VCRs, stereos, jewelry, and especially cleaning supplies and medications should be kept well out of reach. When your crawling baby or roving toddler heads toward an unacceptable or dangerous play object, calmly say "No" and either remove your child from the area or distract him or her with an appropriate activity.
Timeouts can be effective discipline for toddlers. A child who has been hitting, biting, or throwing food, for example, should be told why that behavior is unacceptable and taken to a designated timeout area — a kitchen chair or bottom stair — for a minute or two to calm down (longer timeouts are not effective for toddlers).
It's important to not spank, hit, or slap a child of any age. Babies and toddlers are especially unlikely to be able to make any connection between their behavior and physical punishment. They will only feel the pain of the hit.
And don't forget that kids learn by watching adults, particularly their parents. Make sure your behavior is role-model material. You'll make a much stronger impression by putting your own belongings away rather than just issuing orders to your child to pick up toys while your stuff is left strewn around.
Ages 3 to 5
As your child grows and begins to understand the connection between actions and consequences, make sure you start communicating the rules of your family's home. Explain to kids what you expect of them before you punish them for a certain behavior. For instance, the first time your 3-year-old uses crayons to decorate the living room wall, discuss why that's not allowed and what will happen if your child does it again (for instance, your child will have to help clean the wall and will not be able to use the crayons for the rest of the day). If the wall gets decorated again a few days later, issue a reminder that crayons are for paper only and then enforce the consequences.
The earlier that parents establish this kind of "I set the rules and you're expected to listen or accept the consequences" standard, the better for everyone. Although it's sometimes easier for parents to ignore occasional bad behavior or not follow through on some threatened punishment, this sets a bad precedent. Consistency is the key to effective discipline, and it's important for parents to decide together what the rules are and then uphold them.
While you become clear on what behaviors will be punished, don't forget to reward good behaviors. Don't underestimate the positive effect that your praise can have — discipline is not just about punishment but also about recognizing good behavior. For example, saying "I'm proud of you for sharing your toys at playgroup" is usually more effective than punishing a child for the opposite behavior — not sharing. And be specific when doling out praise; don't just say, "Good job!"
If your child continues an unacceptable behavior no matter what you do, try making a chart with a box for each day of the week. Decide how many times your child misbehave before some punishment kicks in or how long the proper behavior must be displayed before it is rewarded. Post the chart on the refrigerator and then track the good and bad behaviors every day. This will give your child (and you) a concrete look at how it's going. Once this begins to work, praise your child for learning to control misbehavior and, especially, for overcoming any stubborn problem.
Timeouts also can work well for kids at this age. Establish a suitable timeout place that's free of distractions and will force your child to think about how he or she has behaved. Remember, getting sent to your room may have meant something in the days before computers, TVs, and video games were stored there. Don't forget to consider the length of time that will best suit your child. Experts say 1 minute for each year of age is a good rule of thumb; others recommend using the timeout until the child is calmed down (to teach self-regulation).
It's important to tell kids what the right thing to do is, not just to say what the wrong thing is. For example, instead of saying "Don't jump on the couch," try "Please sit on the furniture and put your feet on the floor."
Ages 6 to 8
Timeouts and consequences are also effective discipline strategies for this age group.
Again, consistency is crucial, as is follow-through. Make good on any promises of discipline or else you risk undermining your authority. Kids have to believe that you mean what you say. This is not to say you can't give second chances or allow a certain margin of error, but for the most part, you should act on what you say.
Be careful not to make unrealistic threats of punishment ("Slam that door and you'll never watch TV again!") in anger, since not following through could weaken all your threats. If you threaten to turn the car around and go home if the squabbling in the backseat doesn't stop, make sure you do exactly that. The credibility you'll gain with your kids is much more valuable than a lost beach day.
Huge punishments may take away your power as a parent. If you ground your son or daughter for a month, your child may not feel motivated to change behaviors because everything has already been taken away.
Ages 9 to 12
Kids in this age group — just as with all ages — can be disciplined with natural consequences. As they mature and request more independence and responsibility, teaching them to deal with the consequences of their behavior is an effective and appropriate method of discipline.
For example, if your fifth grader's homework isn't done homework before bedtime, should you make him or her stay up to do it or even lend a hand yourself? Probably not — you'll miss an opportunity to teach a key life lesson. If homework is incomplete, your child will go to school the next day without it and suffer the resulting bad grade.
It's natural for parents to want to rescue kids from mistakes, but in the long run they do kids a favor by letting them fail sometimes. Kids see what behaving improperly can mean, and will probably not make those mistakes again. However, if your child does not seem to be learning from natural consequences, you should set up your own consequences to help modify the behavior more effectively.
Ages 13 and Up
By now you've laid the groundwork. Your child knows what's expected and that you mean what you say about the consequences of bad behavior. Don't let down your guard now — discipline is just as important for teens as it is for younger children. Just like the 4-year-old who needs you to set a bedtime and stick to it, your teen needs to know boundaries, too.
Set up rules regarding homework, visits by friends, curfews, and dating and discuss them beforehand with your teenager so there will be no misunderstandings. Your teen will probably complain from time to time, but also will realize that you're in control. Believe it or not, teens still want and need you to set limits and enforce order in their lives, even as you grant them greater freedom and responsibility.
When your teen does break a rule, taking away privileges may seem the best plan of action. While it's fine to take away the car for a week, for example, be sure to also discuss why coming home an hour past curfew is unacceptable and worrisome.
Remember to give a teenager some control over things. Not only will this limit the number of power struggles you have, it will help your teen respect the decisions that you do need to make for him or her. You could allow a younger teen to make decisions concerning school clothes, hair styles, or even the condition of his or her room. As your teen gets older, that realm of control might be extended to include an occasional relaxed curfew.
It's also important to focus on the positives. For example, have your teen earn a later curfew by demonstrating positive behavior instead of setting an earlier curfew as punishment for irresponsible behavior.
A Word About Spanking
Perhaps no form of discipline is more controversial than spanking. Here are some reasons why the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) discourages spanking:
Spanking teaches kids that it's OK to hit when they're angry.
Spanking can physically harm children.
Rather than teaching kids how to change their behavior, spanking makes them fearful of their parents and merely teaches them to avoid getting caught.
For kids seeking attention by acting out, spanking may inadvertently "reward" them — negative attention is better than no attention at all.
How to Discipline Your Child
LEARNING HOW TO BE GOOD PARENTS AND TEACHERS
Children come into this world helpless and unable to thrive without us. Our job is to love and nurture them and to teach them how to live.
Discipline means "to teach and train". We need to be good disciplinarians, to acquire skills that will accomplish the goal we set for ourselves - that of helping the child learn to control and set standards for himself.
There are several ways we can "make" children behave. One is by using force. Another is by using fear. Still another is by punishment. Unfortunately, these three methods imply that the caregiver is superior and should overpower the child. Rather than leading to a child with inner control, they make the child angry, resentful, fearful and dependent upon force.
There is another way to discipline children. Though it may not appear to get the immediate results we might like, it is safer, more natural and humanistic. It is based on the assumption that children are by nature good, fair, and honest and ultimately capable of responding to that which is good, fair and honest within us. This method is to treat the child with respect. It is treating the child as if he is as important a human being as you are. It is treating him with the same respect with which you wish for him to treat others, you, and himself.
_Don't Take It Out On Your Kids_ is an effort to show how we can parent and teach effectively without using force, fear, and/or punishment, but rather by treating the child with respect. By offering parents and teachers proven ways to reinforce good behavior and minimize misbehavior it is hoped that the vicious cycle of child abuse and neglect will be broken.
HOW CAN WE TREAT OUR CHILDREN WITH RESPECT?
_We can treat our children with respect by using discipline techniques that teach them self-control and responsibility_.
*Discipline Techniques that Often Backfire*
-Embarrassing -Repeating commands
-Humiliating -Pleading, begging
-Spanking (physical punishment) -Ordering
-Taking away favored things -Nagging
-Punishing psychologically -Labeling
-Engaging in power struggles -Arguing
-Rewarding misbehavior -Threatening
-Giving in to undue commands -Being vague
-Allowing child to manipulate adult -Fussing
-Saying what you don't mean -Being inconsistent
-Expecting child to read your mind -Losing your cool
-Allowing dangerous, destructive, -Making child feel guilty
embarrassing behavior to continue
*Discipline Techniques that Work*
-Following through with what you say -Being consistent
-Modeling appropriate behavior -Being firm yet kind/fair
-Clearly stating expectations before -Giving a child a choice
child has engaged in undesirable act only when you intend to
-Rewarding positive behavior and to accept that choice
ignoring negative behavior (except -Making the child feel
when dangerous, destructive, or worthwhile, liked and
embarrassing) successful
-Providing consequence for misbehavior -Providing when/then
immediately after undesirable act is statements; "When you
performed have...then you may."
-Providing if/then statements; "If you -Abuse it/lose it
have...then you may." -Redirecting misbehavior
-Removing child from the -Shaping non-existent
situation behaviors
*How to Stop Misbehavior in the Classroom*
When children break the rules and their misbehavior cannot be ignored, it is important that the teacher have a system that is understood by everyone. This system should handle the misbehavior in the least reinforcing way possible. Ideally a private place should be created in a classroom where a child can be alone, to think and pull himself together.
Such as:
YELLOW CARD: Warning. Return when ready.
GREEN CARD: Return when given permission.
BLUE CARD: Write about behavior and develop a plan to improve it.
RED CARD: Remove from room.
*What to do in the Grocery Store to Help a Child Behave* -Give child a responsibility (Match coupons with the labels)
-Ignore inappropriate behavior unless it is dangerous,
destructive or embarrassing to you or a bother to others
-Remove child to a private place to discuss misbehavior
-Praise another child's appropriate behavior
-Play a game with the child (Let's count all the
tennis shoes we see on people's feet)
-Discuss rules before entering store
-Bring a nutritious snack for child to eat during the shopping
-Bring a story book for child to look at
-Select a secret word or signal which you can both use to get
the immediate attention of the other
-Don't let the child out of your sight
-Reinforce appropriate behavior
-Bring a favorite toy, blanket, etc... to help make him
feel secure
-Don't bring children who are tired or hungry to the store
-Role play at home how to act at the grocery store
-Sing songs with him
-Give child something of yours to play with -- keys,
pocket book, etc.
-Tell child you will have to leave him at home next
time -- then do it
-Stop unacceptable behavior as soon as it occurs
-Don't ever buy the child a treat from the store
where he threw a fit
-Wear comfortable shoes and clothes to the grocery
store (both parent and child)
-As your child is able, let him comparative shop for you
-Discuss pictures on the grocery items
-Take an older child to help you
-Let child know it is a privilege to go shopping with you
_We can treat our children with respect by helping them develop
their self-esteem and encourage their growth.
*How to Build Your Child's Self-Esteem* -Show children that you like them by smiling at them, hugging
them and speaking to them in a positive way.
-Read out loud together as a family.
-Use positive reinforcement to encourage responsible behavior.
-Help them to learn responsibility by requiring them to
complete tasks.
-Set aside a time each day to spend with each child individually.
-Help children to develop organizational skills by providing
space for toys, books, schoolwork, etc.
-Help them to discover their own special gifts by letting them
develop an interest in activities such as sports, music,
dance, drama, etc.
-Encourage their independence.
-Get to know their teachers.
-Do not embarrass children by yelling at them in public.
-Allow your child to express his feelings.
-Listen to your child and look him in the eyes when he is
talking to you.
-Do not set your expectations so high that the chance of
failure prevents your child from trying.
-Encourage your child to be proud of his name, his ideas and
his work.
-Give your child recognition for the effort he makes, even though
it may not come up to your expectations.
-Answer your child's questions openly, honestly and immediately,
if possible.
-Take your child with you on trips to run errands and involve him
in decision-making.
-Build a file of mementos of things in which your child
participated.
-Point out and appreciate unique qualities in your child that
make him special.
-Do not compare one child to another.
*Positive Ways to Encourage Children's Growth* -Show children you like them.
-Provide a model for intellectual curiosity.
-Reward responsible behavior and tasks you ask them
to complete.
-Require your child to complete certain tasks starting at
an early age.
-Set aside time each day to give your child your undivided
attention.
-Encourage organization at an early age.
-Help your child discover his natural gifts.
-Work with your child's teacher.
-Encourage your child's growing independence and autonomy
(ability to become self-reliant).
_We can treat our children with respect by letting them
solve their own problems.
*Six Step Problem Solving Technique*
1. State the problem.
2. Brainstorm the alternatives.
3. Select one possible solution.
4. Implement a solution.
5. Reassess the plan.
6. Start over, if unsuccessful.
Children come into this world helpless and unable to thrive without us. Our job is to love and nurture them and to teach them how to live.
Discipline means "to teach and train". We need to be good disciplinarians, to acquire skills that will accomplish the goal we set for ourselves - that of helping the child learn to control and set standards for himself.
There are several ways we can "make" children behave. One is by using force. Another is by using fear. Still another is by punishment. Unfortunately, these three methods imply that the caregiver is superior and should overpower the child. Rather than leading to a child with inner control, they make the child angry, resentful, fearful and dependent upon force.
There is another way to discipline children. Though it may not appear to get the immediate results we might like, it is safer, more natural and humanistic. It is based on the assumption that children are by nature good, fair, and honest and ultimately capable of responding to that which is good, fair and honest within us. This method is to treat the child with respect. It is treating the child as if he is as important a human being as you are. It is treating him with the same respect with which you wish for him to treat others, you, and himself.
_Don't Take It Out On Your Kids_ is an effort to show how we can parent and teach effectively without using force, fear, and/or punishment, but rather by treating the child with respect. By offering parents and teachers proven ways to reinforce good behavior and minimize misbehavior it is hoped that the vicious cycle of child abuse and neglect will be broken.
HOW CAN WE TREAT OUR CHILDREN WITH RESPECT?
_We can treat our children with respect by using discipline techniques that teach them self-control and responsibility_.
*Discipline Techniques that Often Backfire*
-Embarrassing -Repeating commands
-Humiliating -Pleading, begging
-Spanking (physical punishment) -Ordering
-Taking away favored things -Nagging
-Punishing psychologically -Labeling
-Engaging in power struggles -Arguing
-Rewarding misbehavior -Threatening
-Giving in to undue commands -Being vague
-Allowing child to manipulate adult -Fussing
-Saying what you don't mean -Being inconsistent
-Expecting child to read your mind -Losing your cool
-Allowing dangerous, destructive, -Making child feel guilty
embarrassing behavior to continue
*Discipline Techniques that Work*
-Following through with what you say -Being consistent
-Modeling appropriate behavior -Being firm yet kind/fair
-Clearly stating expectations before -Giving a child a choice
child has engaged in undesirable act only when you intend to
-Rewarding positive behavior and to accept that choice
ignoring negative behavior (except -Making the child feel
when dangerous, destructive, or worthwhile, liked and
embarrassing) successful
-Providing consequence for misbehavior -Providing when/then
immediately after undesirable act is statements; "When you
performed have...then you may."
-Providing if/then statements; "If you -Abuse it/lose it
have...then you may." -Redirecting misbehavior
-Removing child from the -Shaping non-existent
situation behaviors
*How to Stop Misbehavior in the Classroom*
When children break the rules and their misbehavior cannot be ignored, it is important that the teacher have a system that is understood by everyone. This system should handle the misbehavior in the least reinforcing way possible. Ideally a private place should be created in a classroom where a child can be alone, to think and pull himself together.
Such as:
YELLOW CARD: Warning. Return when ready.
GREEN CARD: Return when given permission.
BLUE CARD: Write about behavior and develop a plan to improve it.
RED CARD: Remove from room.
*What to do in the Grocery Store to Help a Child Behave* -Give child a responsibility (Match coupons with the labels)
-Ignore inappropriate behavior unless it is dangerous,
destructive or embarrassing to you or a bother to others
-Remove child to a private place to discuss misbehavior
-Praise another child's appropriate behavior
-Play a game with the child (Let's count all the
tennis shoes we see on people's feet)
-Discuss rules before entering store
-Bring a nutritious snack for child to eat during the shopping
-Bring a story book for child to look at
-Select a secret word or signal which you can both use to get
the immediate attention of the other
-Don't let the child out of your sight
-Reinforce appropriate behavior
-Bring a favorite toy, blanket, etc... to help make him
feel secure
-Don't bring children who are tired or hungry to the store
-Role play at home how to act at the grocery store
-Sing songs with him
-Give child something of yours to play with -- keys,
pocket book, etc.
-Tell child you will have to leave him at home next
time -- then do it
-Stop unacceptable behavior as soon as it occurs
-Don't ever buy the child a treat from the store
where he threw a fit
-Wear comfortable shoes and clothes to the grocery
store (both parent and child)
-As your child is able, let him comparative shop for you
-Discuss pictures on the grocery items
-Take an older child to help you
-Let child know it is a privilege to go shopping with you
_We can treat our children with respect by helping them develop
their self-esteem and encourage their growth.
*How to Build Your Child's Self-Esteem* -Show children that you like them by smiling at them, hugging
them and speaking to them in a positive way.
-Read out loud together as a family.
-Use positive reinforcement to encourage responsible behavior.
-Help them to learn responsibility by requiring them to
complete tasks.
-Set aside a time each day to spend with each child individually.
-Help children to develop organizational skills by providing
space for toys, books, schoolwork, etc.
-Help them to discover their own special gifts by letting them
develop an interest in activities such as sports, music,
dance, drama, etc.
-Encourage their independence.
-Get to know their teachers.
-Do not embarrass children by yelling at them in public.
-Allow your child to express his feelings.
-Listen to your child and look him in the eyes when he is
talking to you.
-Do not set your expectations so high that the chance of
failure prevents your child from trying.
-Encourage your child to be proud of his name, his ideas and
his work.
-Give your child recognition for the effort he makes, even though
it may not come up to your expectations.
-Answer your child's questions openly, honestly and immediately,
if possible.
-Take your child with you on trips to run errands and involve him
in decision-making.
-Build a file of mementos of things in which your child
participated.
-Point out and appreciate unique qualities in your child that
make him special.
-Do not compare one child to another.
*Positive Ways to Encourage Children's Growth* -Show children you like them.
-Provide a model for intellectual curiosity.
-Reward responsible behavior and tasks you ask them
to complete.
-Require your child to complete certain tasks starting at
an early age.
-Set aside time each day to give your child your undivided
attention.
-Encourage organization at an early age.
-Help your child discover his natural gifts.
-Work with your child's teacher.
-Encourage your child's growing independence and autonomy
(ability to become self-reliant).
_We can treat our children with respect by letting them
solve their own problems.
*Six Step Problem Solving Technique*
1. State the problem.
2. Brainstorm the alternatives.
3. Select one possible solution.
4. Implement a solution.
5. Reassess the plan.
6. Start over, if unsuccessful.
Speak & Stand up for what you want
Our life is what we make out of it!Maybe people have different situations & status in the society but i believe that we have the power to make it better.If you realized that you are in a situation you don't want to be involved in the first place,everyone of us have a choice to enhance our lives.
You should find within yourself what you truly want,Ask yourself if you are contented & happy with what's happening in your life?
E.g. A 32 yr old woman who has been working in a government office as a clerk for 10yrs.,who keeps complaining about her work that she is tired with her usual routine but all she does is to complain with her situation but not doing a anything to change her situation by taking action.Why won't she just resign her present job so she can find a better one even if she have still no assurance what will be her next job after her resignation the point is she have the guts to leave her previous job bec. she want changed,being afraid to look for the unknown or scared to step up with no definite destinaton what's holding most of us to move forward leaving us trapped in a situation that we are not satisfied anymore bec. we cannot feel the fullfilment that is missing inside us.
If you wanted something you should act to make things better.If someone complains about his/her situation,acting like a victim bec. he/she is living in miseries,i think the problem is them who can not let go or afraid to move on to find what will make them happy.It might be not easy or painful at the start but what is more painful?ending your miseries or being trapped in a situation your whole life.Just taking all the pain that you are afraid to turn your back to.
If we really want to experience change we should be willing to sacrifice what we have in the present.
You should find within yourself what you truly want,Ask yourself if you are contented & happy with what's happening in your life?
E.g. A 32 yr old woman who has been working in a government office as a clerk for 10yrs.,who keeps complaining about her work that she is tired with her usual routine but all she does is to complain with her situation but not doing a anything to change her situation by taking action.Why won't she just resign her present job so she can find a better one even if she have still no assurance what will be her next job after her resignation the point is she have the guts to leave her previous job bec. she want changed,being afraid to look for the unknown or scared to step up with no definite destinaton what's holding most of us to move forward leaving us trapped in a situation that we are not satisfied anymore bec. we cannot feel the fullfilment that is missing inside us.
If you wanted something you should act to make things better.If someone complains about his/her situation,acting like a victim bec. he/she is living in miseries,i think the problem is them who can not let go or afraid to move on to find what will make them happy.It might be not easy or painful at the start but what is more painful?ending your miseries or being trapped in a situation your whole life.Just taking all the pain that you are afraid to turn your back to.
If we really want to experience change we should be willing to sacrifice what we have in the present.
Friday, February 1, 2008
AIDS that has been a problem to the society,is not really a big deal at all!
The Problem is not the Disease itself,the real problem is the people who have it & aware that they had acquired AIDS & still spreading it.
I'm not convinced to the organizations that are funding the individuals who have AIDS,i don't say it is not right though but why not focus more on prevention,killing its roots will end the problem.
This will not be instant or magic but starting to act now will do a big difference,The cure is so SIMPLE but our society itself who makes things complicated.
THE CURE IS SO EASY PLAIN & SIMPLE:
HONESTY,if someone who have AIDS can be just honest & selfless they can stop spreading this disease that has been killing many people for so long & for what???LUST,SELFISHNESS.....no sense at all.
AIDS victims should see this as a blessing instead of a tragedy,to know that you are dying why not use your days protecting people for acquiring,so you can leave a legacy when you die.
You don't need to be appreciated by the whole world to make a difference to other people lives,knowing that you had changed even a single persons life to be better is one thing you can be proud of,or by not just spreading it...is already a big sacrifice you can do to your loved ones & to your country.
Be a hero & save other lives.Have the courage & be brave to face your fears.
Don't be ashamed for having AIDS,what is to be ashamed of is those who know that they are infected & keep spreading it.
Why look at it like it's the end of the world why not use it as an oppurtunity to open the eyes of the society.If you have done something meaningful you would not be thinking so much with your disease & you will be living the rest of your days happy & worthy!
I'm not convinced to the organizations that are funding the individuals who have AIDS,i don't say it is not right though but why not focus more on prevention,killing its roots will end the problem.
This will not be instant or magic but starting to act now will do a big difference,The cure is so SIMPLE but our society itself who makes things complicated.
THE CURE IS SO EASY PLAIN & SIMPLE:
HONESTY,if someone who have AIDS can be just honest & selfless they can stop spreading this disease that has been killing many people for so long & for what???LUST,SELFISHNESS.....no sense at all.
AIDS victims should see this as a blessing instead of a tragedy,to know that you are dying why not use your days protecting people for acquiring,so you can leave a legacy when you die.
You don't need to be appreciated by the whole world to make a difference to other people lives,knowing that you had changed even a single persons life to be better is one thing you can be proud of,or by not just spreading it...is already a big sacrifice you can do to your loved ones & to your country.
Be a hero & save other lives.Have the courage & be brave to face your fears.
Don't be ashamed for having AIDS,what is to be ashamed of is those who know that they are infected & keep spreading it.
Why look at it like it's the end of the world why not use it as an oppurtunity to open the eyes of the society.If you have done something meaningful you would not be thinking so much with your disease & you will be living the rest of your days happy & worthy!
Going to Lose Your Belly Fat & Get Six Pack Abs
1. Many so-called "health foods" are actually cleverly disguised junk foods that can actually stimulate you to gain more belly fat... yet the diet food marketing industry continues to lie to you so they can maximize their profits.
2. Ab exercises such as crunches, sit-ups, and ab machines are actually the LEAST effective method of getting flat six pack abs. We'll explore what types of exercises REALLY work in a minute.
3. Boring repetitive cardio exercise routines are NOT the best way to lose body fat and uncover those six pack abs. I'll tell you the exact types of unique workouts that produce 10x better results below.
4. You DON'T need to waste your money on expensive "extreme fat burner" pills or other bogus supplements. I'll show you how to use the power of natural foods in more detail below.
5. Ab belts, ab-rockers, ab-loungers, and other infomercial ab-gimmicks... they're all a complete waste of your time and money. Despite the misleading infomercials, the perfectly chiseled fitness models in the commercials did NOT get their perfect body by using that "ab contraption"... they got their perfect body through REAL workouts and REAL nutrition strategies. Again, you'll learn some of their secrets and what really works below.
The secret is,this may sound ridiculous for some but this has been definitely proven effective & won't cost you a fortune to have that perfect body that you have been aspiring for so long.
It is fine to eat the foods you like but you should need to burn the foods that you intake,depriving yourself from eating is absurd...enjoy life but try to choose a more balance diet...
like some chocolates,pasta & delicious mocha frappe......uhmmmmmmmm!!! add some fruits & veggies in your meals from time to time.
Why listen to those miserable gym instructors & dietitians,if they want to deprive themselves to death,just let them but you have a choice keeping fit & eating all the delicious foods that you have been always craving.
Depriving is not right but remember everything that is too much is bad.
Don't go to gym & waste your money,you can do it on your own pace & time.It would not cost you a lot & still end up with no results.
What this PROGRAM needs is the willingness of an individual to acquire a desirable body.
All can do this,all you need is to "DANCE YOUR FAT OUT."
You don't need to be a professional dancer or something all you need is you know the meaning of the word DANCE.
1.DANCE with your favorite music.
2.DANCE like crazy like no one is watching,even there is someone sneaking on your roof pretend as if you don't care,consider him as one of your avid fans...the good part is your attracting attention.
3.Move with energy,exert your full force...no required steps just move,shake the parts you want to loose fat....move that hips,shake that butt think that your seducing someone who inspires you...think of your favorite football player for example...
4.Being inspired will help you achieve your desired irresistable body that will make you desirable to men especially to those who are perverts,i just hope you know to protect yourself...so better learn to run fast so you can't be laid & if you have obsessed admirer,kick his but hard as you can it will not harm him that much bec. man has a great pain resistance & he maybe a 6 foot tall,so why bother!!!
5. Always remember to achieve your goal,action & will power takes a major part to see the result you are expecting.Looking better on the outside will help you to feel better in the inside.Having a Great Body will give you much confidence that will open lot of opportunities for you.
As a woman...
As an individual...
Looking better will uplift our spirit to be better in all we do...
You don't need to starve to death or you don't need to be rich to undergo those expensive lyposuctions...
True Beauty means to be natural,loose wait without sagging your skin...
Don't be envy to those who had undergone surgery,all i can say is:
Being NATURAL IS STILL THE BEST OF THEM ALL & you can be proud of yourself bec. you are not LAZY & DESPARATE like them that always rely on surgery...ones you start to have one done you will be addicted,sooner you'll see the side effects that the doctors will intentionally will not tell you bec. without those cosmetic surgery addicts they will not earn millions...so why tell the truth...i know bec. my father was a doctor & he used to prescribe lots of medicines to his patient but if it comes to us he still suggest natural remedy in most cases.
2. Ab exercises such as crunches, sit-ups, and ab machines are actually the LEAST effective method of getting flat six pack abs. We'll explore what types of exercises REALLY work in a minute.
3. Boring repetitive cardio exercise routines are NOT the best way to lose body fat and uncover those six pack abs. I'll tell you the exact types of unique workouts that produce 10x better results below.
4. You DON'T need to waste your money on expensive "extreme fat burner" pills or other bogus supplements. I'll show you how to use the power of natural foods in more detail below.
5. Ab belts, ab-rockers, ab-loungers, and other infomercial ab-gimmicks... they're all a complete waste of your time and money. Despite the misleading infomercials, the perfectly chiseled fitness models in the commercials did NOT get their perfect body by using that "ab contraption"... they got their perfect body through REAL workouts and REAL nutrition strategies. Again, you'll learn some of their secrets and what really works below.
The secret is,this may sound ridiculous for some but this has been definitely proven effective & won't cost you a fortune to have that perfect body that you have been aspiring for so long.
It is fine to eat the foods you like but you should need to burn the foods that you intake,depriving yourself from eating is absurd...enjoy life but try to choose a more balance diet...
like some chocolates,pasta & delicious mocha frappe......uhmmmmmmmm!!! add some fruits & veggies in your meals from time to time.
Why listen to those miserable gym instructors & dietitians,if they want to deprive themselves to death,just let them but you have a choice keeping fit & eating all the delicious foods that you have been always craving.
Depriving is not right but remember everything that is too much is bad.
Don't go to gym & waste your money,you can do it on your own pace & time.It would not cost you a lot & still end up with no results.
What this PROGRAM needs is the willingness of an individual to acquire a desirable body.
All can do this,all you need is to "DANCE YOUR FAT OUT."
You don't need to be a professional dancer or something all you need is you know the meaning of the word DANCE.
1.DANCE with your favorite music.
2.DANCE like crazy like no one is watching,even there is someone sneaking on your roof pretend as if you don't care,consider him as one of your avid fans...the good part is your attracting attention.
3.Move with energy,exert your full force...no required steps just move,shake the parts you want to loose fat....move that hips,shake that butt think that your seducing someone who inspires you...think of your favorite football player for example...
4.Being inspired will help you achieve your desired irresistable body that will make you desirable to men especially to those who are perverts,i just hope you know to protect yourself...so better learn to run fast so you can't be laid & if you have obsessed admirer,kick his but hard as you can it will not harm him that much bec. man has a great pain resistance & he maybe a 6 foot tall,so why bother!!!
5. Always remember to achieve your goal,action & will power takes a major part to see the result you are expecting.Looking better on the outside will help you to feel better in the inside.Having a Great Body will give you much confidence that will open lot of opportunities for you.
As a woman...
As an individual...
Looking better will uplift our spirit to be better in all we do...
You don't need to starve to death or you don't need to be rich to undergo those expensive lyposuctions...
True Beauty means to be natural,loose wait without sagging your skin...
Don't be envy to those who had undergone surgery,all i can say is:
Being NATURAL IS STILL THE BEST OF THEM ALL & you can be proud of yourself bec. you are not LAZY & DESPARATE like them that always rely on surgery...ones you start to have one done you will be addicted,sooner you'll see the side effects that the doctors will intentionally will not tell you bec. without those cosmetic surgery addicts they will not earn millions...so why tell the truth...i know bec. my father was a doctor & he used to prescribe lots of medicines to his patient but if it comes to us he still suggest natural remedy in most cases.
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