"Learn To Forgive"

How to Forgive...

I have had some pretty strange experiences with people and some really life-changing beautiful experiences too.

As of late it seems many people around me are clashing and some are standing up for themselves, some are standing on others, and some are standing away from the rest of them...avoiding collateral damage, I'd imagine.

Sometimes we are given messages and we ignore them. Sometimes we are given messages and they hit us in the head. The trick is keeping your eye open in case you notice something trying to get your attention...

How To Forgive

The past cannot be undone.What you change is...how you feel about it.

Make The Change Happen - How are you going to do it, my friend? You're all done feeling wretched all the time, you know forgive does not mean forget, you are soooo ready, but you need a plan. Read on, my friend, and find out how to get the benefits of forgiveness for yourself. Right now.

Guilt and Hatred Are Killers - Ask any doctor. Stress is a killer. This is because your body and mind are a continuum. In other words, although they are not entirely the same, a great overlap exists that unites them. Relieve your mental stress and your body will be happier too. Nothing relieves mental stress like forgiveness.

Guilt and hatred resolve nothing; they just sustain the negativity that continues to obstruct you from your goals. Forgiveness, on the other hand, undoes the stickiness that binds you to an unhappy past.

Does It Work? - Absolutely - for you. Since the forgiveness experience will happen only for you, only you will receive its benefits. Your forgiveness may not influence a change in the behavior of others one bit. But it's not about them. It's about you.

Forgiveness is about generating your own healing. You are the only player in your life over whom you have all the power. It's time to exercise your personal power, your right to choose to feel better about who you are, your right to process your past and move on with your life.

It's a Private Thing - Since forgiving is all about you getting your own heart clear, it's best done in the privacy of your own mind. Afterwards you'll have the choice of telling others, if you like, but initially the process works best in solitude. Tell no one, just do the work. And watch how easy it is to feel better all day every day.

Contrast this to the fact that all the pity parties in the world with your friends and relatives never made you feel better one bit.

Those tactics don't work because they don't process emotions, they merely create a feedback loop that deepens the groove of the pain. Since you know that what you used to do didn't work, it's time to do what does.

Forgive in Steps - Like a pyramid, forgiveness may seem overwhelming at first, but it's easily accomplished step by step.So begin by recognizing that there are three sections:

*1.Forgiveness of Others - When you forgive others in categories, it proceeds more easily. For example, you could choose to use the categories of Strangers, Friends, Family, The People who Hurt You The Most, and Anybody Else. You may include additional categories like Exlovers, Neighbors, Coworkers, Employees, etc., and some forgivers need to add the category of Humanity Itself. And you can start with the categories you find easiest. Once you notice how good it feels to forgive, this will inspire you to forgive everyone as much as possible, as fully as you can.

*2.Self Forgiveness - In this step, start with your earliest years and ascend: Newborn, three year old, five year old, ten year old, teenager, 20s, etc., and on up to your current age, forgiving yourself thoroughly for absolutely everything as you go. Once you get to your current age, forgive yourself for your whole life. Remember, all humans are flawed. No one is a perfect son or daughter, man or woman, husband or wife, student or teacher, worker or boss. You are allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. Forgiveness is an optimal method to process your learnings.

*3.Receiving Forgiveness from Others - In the privacy of your own mind, visualize then apologize to folks you've wronged, and let them accept your apology. It may surprise you to learn that others really want to forgive you. They do. So let them forgive you and receive the cleansing of that forgiveness. Afterwards, with some people, you may elect to actually apologize to them in person, but proceed carefully. There are a few folks in the world who can not accept apologies in real life, and this is why you process all of your apologies in your mind's eye thoroughly first, so that you get the emotional benefit of having apologized whether those apologies get accepted in real life or not.

Forgive by Percentages in Repeated Attempts - Can you forgive the people who hurt you the most 10%? 20%? 80%? 99.9%? It's not all or nothing. Ease on up to higher and higher percentages, always aiming for 100% forgiveness, but being real with yourself. If the people who hurt you the most are not 100% forgiveable on your first attempt, continue forgiving them bit by bit till you get as close to full forgiveness as possible. Start with a realistic percentage, then increase your forgiveness on subsequent attempts, always aiming for 100%. Just do your best.

Forgiving People Versus Events - It can be one thing to forgive individual people, and can yet be quite another thing to forgive the things those people did. What to do? Forgive the events and actions as they come to mind. As you think of instance after instance, forgive everyone involved as best you can for everything that happened.

Forgiveness, a hard concept

If you scan the daily news you’ll often find accounts of wrongdoers and criminals asking their “victims” for forgiveness. And the same happens in relationships, if you have wronged your partner in some way, it is common to ask for forgiveness. But the fact is that forgiveness is not something you should ask for, instead you should apologize and take steps to make sure that whatever it was that you were doing wrong doesn’t happen again. Once is a mistake, twice is sloppy and more is thoughtless or worse.

Instead forgiveness is a gift that the wronged person gives themselves, a way out of the pain or hurt inflicted upon them. A way to avoid ending up angry, bitter or both. It’s about not holding onto the negative feelings and emotions associated with the person who did the wrongdoing, and also sometimes understanding the motives behind the act, whether it was deliberate, an accident, a thoughtless moment, etc. Forgiveness isn’t forgetting either! Which is very important to remember, and which is why you might be able to forgive even the most heinous crime, but you won’t be able tto forget it, and you might also not feel that you want to have anything more to do with the perpetrator in the future, and yet it is possible to forgive them.

As said before, forgiveness is a gift to oneself but it doesn’t come naturally in most cases, the common way to respond to someone hurting you is to back away and get angry at said person. And many times it is hard to let go of that anger and unless you find a way to get rid of the anger, that anger will end up growing until it consumes you. And forgiveness is just that, a way to deal with the anger.





















At first, forgiveness is often very frail and nothing more than a decision to try to forgive, and even small stuff can crush that forgiveness before it even had the chance of manifesting itself. And after that it is like a small seed, it needs constant nurturing and affirmation to be able to break out of the seed, but given time it will start to bud and set out roots and in time it will blossom under your nourishment and blossom like a beautiful flower.

When forgiveness works, you will be able to continue your life without being stuck in a circle of negativity towards somebody who have harmed you, and you will start to heal for real. Naturally some hurts are so bad that they will never completely heal, but will leave scars, that will for the rest of your life remind you of what have happened, but with forgiveness even the scars might fade, but the wounds won’t be continually be kept open by the anger and bitterness you would otherwise be nurturing inside of you.

So to get back to where, we started it is actually wrong for wrongdoers to ask for forgiveness, because forgiveness is not for them, they will have to forgive themselves for doing the things that they have done. But to ask somebody else to forgive you is in the end meaningless, save when that person is your God!

Forgive your ex, it’s good for you

Ten good reasons why you shouldn’t bad-mouth your ex, and why it is healthy for you, your kids and your current relationship partner.
Forgive your ex, it’s good for you

Talking negatively about an ex can actually do damage in places where you might not expect it to. Here are 10 reasons to avoid being critical of a past partner.

Your current companion will automatically think this is how you would talk about him or her if you broke up.




















Being the bigger person is so much better for your emotional well-being than being the opposite. It’s helpful to accept that whomever you were with brought something good into your life.
What comes around goes around. Call it karma if you like, but most of us have seen how this works, so why tempt fate? Keep the negativity to yourself.

If you have children from a prior relationship, it’s emotionally unhealthy for them to hear you put down their other parent. Just because you’re not living together doesn’t mean you’re not still jointly responsible for your kids. Remember, children learn by example.

Everyone eventually tires of the same old song. Your friends may be too kind to tell you, so ask them if your behavior is over the top. If after awhile, you start to bore yourself, change the radio station in your head and tune out ex-talk.

Dwelling on the past is unhealthy emotionally. If you can’t stop the thoughts in your head or get past the feelings on your own, it’s usually a sign that you have some unfinished business.

Holding onto anger and pain is also physically unhealthy. Check yourself out and make sure you’re not neglecting your body and hurting yourself. If you find that thoughts of your ex make you tighten your muscles, spend some time exercising and get a massage.

Feeling uncomfortable is a waste of time. If you’re like the rest of us, you have far too many other, more positive things to put your time and energy into.

If you ever choose to reconcile, what you are saying now will make that much more difficult. It will even make a friendship challenging and, if you have kids, you need to stay friends.

The truth is that life with this person wasn’t all bad. Remember that you chose to spend time together because you had things in common. You deserve to keep your memories as nice as possible.

See this as an opportunity to make your life a better place as you remove a reason to not feel good about yourself. Remember that every time you send out negative thoughts, you are also feeling them.

"Tolerance,is it a solution?"

Forgiveness

Should We Forgive & Forget?

If We Are Mistreated ? What Should We Do ?

Should We Tolerate It ? Ignore ? Or Speak up ?

If You Are Mistreated Is Silence A Sign of Being Good Hearted Or Cowardness?

When To Fight & When To Walked Away ?

Accepting Wrong Doings Are The Same Thing As Tolerating It ?

Would You Tolerate What You Are Aware Is Wrong?

...........Forgiveness is something that all of us should learn because grudges that had been kept will result to anger,hatred to violence.Forgiveness is not something that is easy to give much more if you had been hurt so much but still we should try our best to find forgiveness in our hearts.Forgiveness is emptying our hearts from hatred that could be a root of evil.Forgiveness is just cleansing your hearts from thoughts that causes the pain.But we are not force to forget , no one can forget the memories of the past but try to look at in a more positive way.Learn from your pains & hatred,it does'nt mean that you should plant pain because you sowed one.Start the change from you,the pain that had been your handicapped can be diverted to strength not as a pioson that can immobilized you as a person.Remember it has been known for generations that "what goes around comes around".Don't be a victim & don't stay as one.Don't immitate the one that had cause you pain, speak up but never do things that just can worsen things. Instead make them realized the wrong things they had done,realization is more painful & unforgetable.If you had been mistreated or cheated don't make the same mistake you are just keeping the pain within you.Conscience is more powerful it may not hit you immediately but it is a punishment that you can give someone that had hurt you.If the are hit it will haunt them in for a lifetime.

..................If you are mistreated once or twice you can tolerate it depending upon the offense made.But if you had been repeatedly mistreated don't let it to continue.Don't let anyone mistreat you because if you allow them then you will be treated this way forever.Sometimes tolerating leads to addiction,so never tolerate someone to mistreat you in any kind of way.If you can't give value to yourself no one will.You are the sole protector of your ownself don't depend on anyone to be there for you all times.You need to be a survivor.Tolerance is a rust that can destroy you as a whole being.Don't be immune to things that should not been done by anyone.No one has any right to mistreat anyone in anyway.We have all equal rights.Treat people by how the treat you not by any other reasons.

..............Tolerating what you know that is wrong is an act of cowardness & ignorance.We should never let anyone mistreat us let them know how you should treated because if you will not set rules on how people should treat you then they will abuse you & repeatedly mistreat you.You should learn to respect yourself so others can respect you on how you want to be treated w/ respect.

..............If anyone mistreated or done something wrong on you don't be afraid to speak up & depend yourself because silence means acceptance.Ignoring is never a good solution,you are just giving them the opportunity to hurt you again.We should have courage to depend ourselves to whoever mistreated us ,whatever status,whoever they are...Being in authority do not have any right to mistreat anyone ,power & authority should never be use to abuse or mistreat anyone.

.............Acting like you don't see or don't hear that something was wrong & something should be done to correct the situation will just make the situation worse.We tend to pretend to be blind even we are aware of the thing that has been in the front of our noses all along.We should start standing for ourselves bec. if we can't do it now we will never be able to stand out for what is right.We should overcome the fear inside us to depend what is right , fear is just in the mind .Remember if you are in the right side & you know that you hadn't done anything wrong there is no single reason to be afraid of.Your innocence is your greatest source of strength.

"REJECTION"

REJECTION IS PART OF LOVE



















its nice to be love and to love

but its hurt to be rejected by the one you love

you thinking that your not good enough for him/her.

not only you and me has been rejected

all of us we experienced that

yes it is hurt to be rejected but u need to hold on

and move on w/ your life.

and one thing don't think that he/she rejected u bec.

you r not good enough maybe u just love the wrong person

or she/he have somebody else

even her/him has been rejected you just the same

don't even compare yourself to others make your own rule.

open your eyes in reality that REJECTION is a part of LOVE

you will hurt once or twice but use it as a challenge to you

don't overcome with your feeling
sometimes you need to use your mind

not just your heart in having a decision.

maybe he is not the right man or girl for u

learn for your experience and be strong for it

until one day love is on your front door.

post by: arianne

"Forgive but not Forget"

About Love - Forgiving

What do we do when we hold grudges in our hearts which we feel badly about? How can we allow anyone to love us if we do not love ourselves? Love has many pitfalls and it is necessary for us to find peace within our hearts and to find love for ourselves before we can love anyone else or feel secure regarding the love of others have for us.

When we hold bitterness in our hearts for which we feel ashamed, anger, pain, resentment or any other negative feelings we find it difficult to love ourselves. Indeed, many of us come to hate ourselves with a passion and we may set about to destroy ourselves either deliberately or through neglect or by sub-conscious self-sabotage.

We may feel great despair that no one should love us because of the dark issues in our hearts, and we will very often convince ourselves that no one can ever truly love us because of our poor regards for ourselves. In this state, because we feel we are unlovable we will tend to perceive that the love of others have for oneself as selfish and riddled with ulterior motives even if that love is pure and selfless; in this manner we spoil the gift of love that others may try to share with us thereby doing both to oneself and those who love us results to a great injustice.

While many of us do not reach such extremes and deliberately self destructive state in regarding to oneself, the dark places in our hearts, most of us are afflicted by some bitterness & hatred in our hearts and we sub-consciously undermine our lives with our efforts to punish ourselves for whatever pain & grief we keep deep in our hearts.

That part of our lives which receives the most damage from oneself loathing and sabotaging our relationships with people we love most or desire. We must find it within our capacity to forgive ourselves for anything that had occur or experienced to leave pain & anger we feel deep inside us.Forgiving oneself or letting go the pain will help us recover & ease the pain.

Forgiving others is like seeking to be forgiven, it is not necessary to seek out those whom you wish to forgive. However, if an opportunity arises to speak kind words of forgiveness to someone who has hurt you then you should take that moment as a golden opportunity to help yourself and to help that other person so that you may both heal and become happier human beings.

It is always a good idea to act in that moment and to immediately create new healing. Forgiveness is a wonderful blessing. It can be easy to give and yet it enriches our lives immensely. However, when we find it difficult to forgive oneself or anyone else then the sores in our hearts can fester and these sores will slowly poison us day by day making our lives darker and leading us into greater misery, pain and despair all of which may often be unnecessary.

We should search forgiveness within ourselves so we can see that what we had been through had taught us something good.Forgiving oneself will make us easier to move on & get back on the track.But if we choose to neglect the roots of our pain and the miseries,we will be unable to address the issues in our lives which linger on the unresolved, and which will then continue to harm us.

"Forgiveness is all about love...I know that forgiving is easily said but cannot be easily done."But always try to find the good part of it & use what you have learned from each pain you had experienced that can contribute in making you a better person.Forgiveness is setting yourself free from pain."

"Love Life,Live to Love"

Grunges are a waste of perfect happiness
Laugh when u can
Apologize when u should
And let go of what you can't change
Love deeply and forgive quickly
Take chances. Give everything.
And have no regrets.
Life's too short to be unhappy
You have to take good with the bad
Smile when you're sad
Love what you got.....
and always remember what you had.
Always forgive, never forget.
Learn from your mistakes, but never regret.

"THOUGHT FOR CONTEMPLATION"

THOUGHT FOR CONTEMPLATION

The power of forgiveness:

Many of our problems in life are because of negative vibrations

emanated by others against us. These negative vibrations are

emanated generally in retaliation to our conscious or unconscious

insult, unruly behavior, anger or hurting their

sentiments. These negative vibrations can affect us by way of ill

health, financial losses, accidents or strained relations. We can

neutralize the effect of these negative vibrations by seeking

forgiveness from people through meditation. The vibrations

emanated by us while seeking forgiveness through meditation,

have the power to neutralize others negative vibrations thus

helping us lead a peaceful life.

Real life experience of a workshop participant:

I was going through one of the worst phases in my life by way of losses in business;

deteriorating health and hurdles in daughter's marriage. I could never know the reason

until I attended your workshop in Mumbai. I realized it was all because of my bad

behavior with my own brother and other family members. I sought forgiveness from all

of them in the way you told me to do in meditation and the results were astonishing.

Within a week my relations improved with my family members and my business turned

around and everything else became normal. Since then me and my family members are

living a happy life. I never knew that others negative vibrations can have such an effect

on our lives.

"Always strive to be a better Person"

Give up complaining...
and focus on gratitude.

Give up harsh judgments...
think kind thoughts.

Give up worry...
trust divine providence.

Give up discouragement...
be full of hope.

Give up bitterness...
turn to forgiveness.

Give up hatred...
return good for evil.

Give up anger...
practice patience.

Give up pettiness...
put on maturity.

Give up gloom...
enjoy the beauty that is around you.

Give up jealousy...
pray for trust.

Give up gossiping...
control your tongue

Give up sin...
turn to virtue.

"A JUST BUT FORGIVING HEART"

In every FRIENDSHIP or RELATIONSHIP with our love ones, friends, or to other people there are times when we are let down, disappointed, or HURT. Most likely there are also times when we ourselves cause disappointment or hurt to our love ones or friends.

Wt. hen this happens, how do we react or respond? Who do we turn to? Look at the friendship chart.

helpfulness

justice gentleness

patience sense of humor forgiveness

Do you think the key friendship words in the chart reflect realistically the real meaning of friendship? Human beings have the capacity for a full human interaction with one another. At certain times, we inflict pain on other people or even to our love ones or friends. But we also have the capacity and inclination to be just, loving and forgiving.

Forgiving those who do us harm give us a most rewarding feeling of peace. However, we must also be firm in seeing that there is justice in every relationship that no one is taken advantage of or abused.

"why some people hurt others????????"

When someone does something to you to intentionally hurt you, it can make it much worse than if they were to do the same thing accidentally. When speaking of mental wounds, part of the reason for this is that you feel like there must have been something about you that made them want to hurt you.You may not have thought directly of pain... you may have been angry,or jealous, or some similar emotion. Those feelings only come from pain, however... you don't get angry, for instance, without feeling that someone has done something wrong to you.The same is true of others... no one truly does things just because they enjoy inflicting pain. Even if it seems that way to them, THAT feeling in turn is caused by some pain from their past.That doesn't mean that their actions are justified, by any means...it's still wrong to hurt someone intentionally, regardless of how badly you've been hurt in the past. Your own pain isn't a valid excuse for inflicting pain on others.Think back to the last time you did something to intentionally hurt someone, even if it was very small.





What were you feeling at the time? It wasn't sweet, sugary feelings of happiness and love, was it?On the other hand, once you realize that the harm comes from the pain of another, it does make it far easier to forgive them, and some what easier to not take hurt from the actions in the first place, even when they are intended to cause pain. It takes away their power, because you realize that they are attacking from a place of weakness, not a place of strength.And it's amazing the amount of relief that you feel when you truly forgive someone... it takes a lot of energy to hold a grudge.Ever stuck with anger over what someone did to you? Did you alsoget the advice, "Forget what happened. Put it behind you and move on." It's not that easy, is it? Forgiving a wrong doer is difficult because we feel that we are letting the wrong doer off the hook. A victim tends to think, "How can I ever forgive someone who has hurt me so much." Forgiving does not equal letting someone off the hook. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you have to condone what someone has done to you or ever having to tolerate someone's wrongful behavior. Forgiving is not about the wrong doer, it's about you. You forgive people, not for their sake, but for your own sake. You forgive because you want to set yourself free. You set yourself free by breaking the shackles of anger, hurt, helplessness or shame and that occurs when you forgive the person who caused those feelings. . Forgiveness is not about setting conditions with all those "ifs" and"buts," it's unconditional. By setting conditions, we give power to our tormentors. When we leave that power with them, they can hurt us again. Forgiveness is really about empowering yourself and taking back the control of your life in your own hands. so we forgive them but still they always do the same hurt people's feeling's...: