how you cure the wrong in your love life

Ten secrets of Love !!!

* The first secret - the power of thought. Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about.Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and others. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognize her when you meet her.

* The second secret - the power of respect. You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect ask yourself, "What do I respect about myself?" To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself "What do I respect about them?"

* The third secret - the power of giving. If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself, freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.

* The fourth secret - the power of friendship. To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other's eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are, not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love's seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

* The fifth secret - the power of touch. Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

* The sixth secret - the power of letting go. If you love something, let it free. If it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't it never was. Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions."Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me - today is the beginning of a new life."

* The seventh secret - the power of communication. When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: "I Love You." Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word - it could be the last time you see them. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and................ ...why are you waiting?

* The eighth secret - the power of commitment. If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.

* The ninth secret - the power of passion. Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone, it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be recreated by recreating past experiences when you felt passionate. Spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same; all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

* The tenth secret - the power of trust. Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels trapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely.

Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the way in which always you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself, "Do I trust them completely and unreservedly?" If the answer is "no", think carefully before making a commitment. The heart is the happiest when it beats for others.

"Just About ......Relationships"

20 things about relationships......

It is important to agree on three major topics: Money, Politics, and Religion

Everything else is okay to agree or disagree on, however, the more you differ in everything else, the more interesting things become...

Love is not a single emotion, but a culmination of them all

You will be excited, disappointed, anxious, bored, content, irritated, and so on...There will be arguments...

NO exceptions

Getting through your problems DOES make you stronger. If someone can forgive you for your mistakes, and vice versa, then it's because there is something that won't allow petty moments to get in the way...Not everything is forgivable

Someone who cheats, lies, repeatedly makes the same mistakes, and violates any trust you have given them should NEVER be forgiven. If they care about you, they wouldn't do those things in the first place...Don't try to rush the equivalent of 10 years together into a few months

Take your time. Allow someone to learn about you. If they like you, they will come back for more. Trying to do everything at once will leave little to look forward to down the line, and also leaves no more surprises in the relationship...

Labels don't mean everything

Just because you put a designer label on an old pair of Levis doesn't make them designer. The same goes with relationships. Just because you label yourselves together doesn't mean you truly are...Advice is good...but your opinion should be your own

We all have friends looking out for our best interest. It's okay to take their advice. Yet, when it comes down to it, it should be your choice, and no one else's, unless they are somehow directly affected.

Not everyone is going to see the purpose behind the things we do exactly the way we see it, so doing what THEY would do, doesn't always mean it's how YOU should do it...We have a heart and a mind for a reason...

Our heart stores all of our greatest wants, and if you follow it alone, it will take you on the most reckless path in order to achieve it's desires the soonest.

However, when you use your mind to sort through your needs as well, you will find other paths that get you there, even if it takes longer. It's not about the destination, but rather, the journey there...It's perfectly normal to have walls

We build walls around ourselves as we grow, and learn, and get through our worst trials in life. Having walls makes you human.

Furthermore, if you meet someone, and they have no walls to climb, than how are you expected to show how much you want them? Just don't build anything too high, because someone should be able to see a way in through time and patience...

Patience comes hard in the beginning

The longer you are with someone, the easier it is to have patience and understanding for someone. In the beginning, however, emotions tend to be at their peak, and we can often brush patience aside. No matter how much you want to call them, no matter what the reason, sometimes you have to wait for someone to come to you...

Love, unfortunately, is sort of a game

Relationships are so easy to come by, and there are rituals we knowingly, and unknowingly perform when we like someone. These are natural human behaviors that we have always used to "test" the workability of ourselves with someone else.

Those who do it for any other reason are bound to meet karma in a bad way sooner or later...It is not enough to say what you feel

Saying something doesn't mean a thing unless you show it. Words come cheap, but actions require effort, and when someone is willing to put forth effort in what they feel, it is more clear than the ambiguous notion of merely saying it.

Liking or loving someone is an act of feeling, and words alone should not be able to describe how you feel...There is the right person at the wrong time

No matter how much you like someone, it isn't always the right time. In that case, you should continue to focus on yourself, until it is right, or until someone better comes along...Breaking up IS NOT the end of the world

It may feel like it, but the heart mends, your wall goes higher, and we come back to ourselves in the end. If you choose to recognize it as a lesson, then you will come to find history won't repeat itself.

However, if you choose to carry around the experience as baggage, then you only have yourself to blame when the next person you fall for won't let you move in to their lives with all of it...We are all human, no matter how much you believe you are more than that

We all make mistakes. If someone holds a minor issue against you, then there are three obvious reasons.

1) It wasn't so minor to them;

2) They were looking for a reason in the first place; and

3) Some people don't believe in mistakes. You can only be yourself, and any one who comes into your life has a right to scale how good you are for their life, and vice versa. Never take it personally.

We are all bound to screw up sooner or later, and if they can't get past something small, then they will never be able to look past something bigger later...

If it's not right now, it won't be later

A relationship is a process. You will come to find things you love and hate about someone, and you will learn to deal with it, or let go. However, if nothing progresses between two people, don't stick around hoping that will change, because IT WON'T! And don't keep on because you can't hurt someone's feelings.

Learning to let go of something is an underestimated power. And letting go because it is not right for you is an act of self preservation...Be upfront from day one

Don't pretend to be someone the way we all seem to do in life. It's okay if you're putting on a visage to fool the everyday stranger, but why would you want to fool someone you plan on being with?

A relationship requires two people to be able to share one common bond, and if you aren't upfront from the beginning, good or bad, then you are building a foundation that is doomed to cave in on your little castle...

Three common threads to one love: Trust, Honesty, and Communication

These three things alone sum up almost everything a person will tell you they are looking for at the rudimentary foundation to a lasting partnership. Without one, you can't have any. Trust should be earned and held closer than any materialistic item you own. Honesty should already be your daily practice. And communication is the key to understanding problems.

When things are good there are no need for words. When they aren't, no matter how much you want to ignore it, you have to communicate the problem, even if it isn't what they want to hear...Nothing is certain.

Promises ARE meant to be broken.

We make them with the best intentions, but they are nothing more than a temporary contract that is bound to change with the passing of time. Nobody knows what tomorrow holds, and so even if it was a bad day, we should embrace it, because good or bad, it all molds two people together, and tomorrow may be the day you run out of time at all...

Always cherish the moment

Within the blink of an eye, two people can go from cloud nine into a train wreck from hell. Enjoy the moments you do have. That is the point of love.

We are meant to feel untouchable when things go right, to feel disappointed when they don't, to forgive what can be forgiven, to never dwell on the bad, to let someone know you care if you do.

Those little moments do matter, because when things aren't 100%, you need those memories to remember why you began to care in the first place...

Is There Really A True Love?

So What Is True Love?

Thich Nhat Hanh, a world renowned Buddhist monk who was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, describes true love as having four elements
Lovingkindness, compassion, joy and freedom.
.. ..

Lovingkindness

When you truly love someone you embrace them for who they are this very minute. You do not have fantasies about what you believe they could evolve into. You accept their shortcomings and foibles and sometimes love them all the more because of it. You have the desire to create happiness for them and through your actions are able to bring about lasting joy in their lives.

This requires a deep level of understanding with regards to your mates wishes. Many people have done things with the intent to build a better life for their partners only to find out that their actions caused more pain and suffering to occur. The resultant argument usually starts with the sentence "You just don't understand" or "You never listen." True love always listens!

This doesn't mean you will never have an argument. How boring would life be if we all agreed on everything. But there is a distinct difference between a disagreement which eventually brings two people closer together and a situation where one or both people feel alienated and deeply hurt.
.. ..
Compassion

When your love is pure your primary intention is to remove the pain and suffering that has plagued your partner throughout their lives. We all come into relationships with baggage, past failures and disappointments, that can overwhelm the present if we let it.

Being able to help heal the old wounds of your beloved is what compassion is all about. If you truly love someone you cannot stand to see them suffer. Helping them to overcome their hurt and fear in a compassionate way establishes trust. One of the foundations of a strong and long lasting relationship.
.. ...

Joy

Every day you should feel absolute joy when you wake up next to your beloved. Obviously there will be times when difficulties arise. The universe throws curve balls at us all the time that we have to find a way to deal with. But even through those dark times you should feel grateful that your partner is by your side. They should be able to make you laugh when all you want to do is cry. They should be able to hold you even when they have made you mad. There should be laughter and light not tears and darkness. You should never feel alone and unhappy within your relationship.

.. ..Freedom

Freedom is an essential element for love. You have to have the freedom to be yourself and express your true desires. You have to be able to confidently give your partner all the space and freedom they need to live a fulfilling life. If you become angry or upset because your mate wants to spend time alone or with friends, or if you become jealous over the passion they have for their work or hobby then this is called selfish love.

You are more concerned with your own desires than allowing them the freedom to truly shine within themselves. We all need things outside of a relationship to make us complete human beings. If we do not have access to those things we begin to wither inside. When you have truly found 'The One' you will feel a sense of freedom that has previously been missing in past relationships... ..

What True Love Isn't

True love is never associated with violence, deception, abuse (emotional, physical or verbal), constant sacrifice for the good of only one person, jealousy, fear or mistrust.

What Really Sustains A Relationship?

Love, Romance, or both?

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being in love which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

Captain Corelli's Mandolin

There is no denying.

Things have changed.

You can feel it.

And you begin to ask the question why.

Why am I here next to this person?

You've noticed some slight changes on his behaviour.

He suddenly has become less attentive on what you are saying.



He keeps on bringing new faces in the house instead of spending time alone with you.



He no longer waits for you.
You have stopped eating together.



He doesn’t go at great lengths anymore to please you...

Worse is...

He has forgotten how to kiss you the way you want it!



Minor changes which when put together is equivalent to one gigantic heap of garbage you refuse to smell its odor and leaves you no option but to throw them away and discard them at the earliest chance. The only thing is...

your partner isn’t a garbage


You don't find it easy to do so unlike others who change partners as often as they change clothes

but secretly this is what you are thinking of doing to him...




You’re beginning to feel dissatisfaction which leads to fights because of these irreconcilable differences.

Then the inevitable came to pass.

Love has gone.

Where did it go?

It flew right outside the window.

Just like that?

Yeah, just like that.

Was it love which flew outside the window or was it romance?

Maybe both. Who cares what it is called?

One thing is certain.

The relationship has ended. And you are left alone wondering.

What really sustains a relationship?

Is it love or romance?

It really is more than the sparks found in romance obviously.

Neither love itself.

Huh?

Huh?

I was meaning to say, “Neither the romantic kind of love itself.”

So between Romance and Love,

will I choose

Love alone ?

Since romance seems to be unstable and disappears just like a fog?

No. I want the element of madness in being in love. I deserve to be crazy in love and I won’t settle for anything less. And I love flowers, candles, wines, lovely dinner, love songs, moonlight dancing, massage, jacuzzi, passionate kisses and all the sweet nonsense associated with romance.
Who doesn't want this?

Romance alone ?

No, because romance alone does not pay the bills and face the real challenges of life. Romance can not stand the tests of what is expected from a genuine relationship. It is there to tease our senses. But leaves at the very instance of discomfort. It is there to fulfill our fantasies and send our heads up in the cloud but crushes back down to earth at the slightest blow of the storm.

Here's a thought...

Long- Term- Relationship like Marriage is more than love and romance.

It is more of a CONSCIOUS EFFORT.

When we merely love someone, it almost comes spontaneously without much effort needed.

Sometimes, we are even overpowered by this intense emotion.

But in Long-Term-Relationship or Marriage, it is us who has to overpower our emotions to make it work.

Long-Term-Relationship or Marriage demands us to play even when romance and love have left the stage.

Long-Term-Relationship or Marriage demands us to stay even if the only person left in the room is no longer the person we used to know but just a stranger sitting across you.

Marriage isn’t for everybody.

Some people are not wired for Long-Term-Relationships.

No matter how much you insist you want it to be.

But don’t give up on love.

For the best may have yet to come.

Somewhere out there, there must be at least one single soul who’ll die to be with you.

That is the only kind of love worth seeking for.

Whether it ends in marriage or not is beside the question.

If it’s neither romance nor love or both, then what?

The one thing which couples overlook is that more than being lovers, they should develop FRIENDSHIP. It is the bond which seals the relationship.


I don’t know if any of my readers would agree that long term relationships usually lack “sparks”. Moreover, that instant excitement does not guarantee instant success. In fact, the emotional intensity we feel in the beginning of the relationship goes down naturally. There are some who manage to stay in love or love their partner more in the long run. But is it only romantic love which sustains a long term relationship?

How are we going to explain situations where people give up on relationships not because they have fallen out of love but because they have different pursuits in life?

For a wagon to get to its destination, it must be pulled by two oxens in the same direction. One can't go Northbound and the other Southbound.

How many relationships have ended because of incompatibilities even though couples are still madly in love with each other?

Because the truth is, long term relationships demand us more than saying “I Love You.”

And there are cases that LOVE is still present.

That some couples still have strong feelings for each other.

But they just can't go on anymore.

Because they just can't get along well anymore.

Who said differences between couples should always be reconciled anyway?


Sometimes, the best way to care for your partner is to just leave your partner alone.

I leave proper discretion to my reader on what is tolerable and what is not.

Each has his own threshold of pain anyway.

( Give it a thought 100 times. Give it a try 100 million times. You can thank me later.)

One definition of a friend is someone who provides support and cooperation.

Hence, friendship is an integral part of a long-lasting relationship.

It is different from commitment. Commitment is born out of obligation.

Friendship is born out of natural likeness for someone. It is more voluntary in nature.

It’s kindness, respect, compatibility and shared interests we find in friendship are among others which sustain a long term relationship. That feeling of being comfortable with someone knowing that you are allowed to just be yourself and not be somebody else. FRIENDSHIP , the absence of which leaves any relationship prone to decay in no time.Because it is the only type of relationship which demands nothing from the two persons involved but the company of each other.

Whereas Romance and Love demand...
they probe...
they measure..
they ask..
they test.

Friendship seeks nothing but to spend time with the other person.

And spending time together is a very essential part of any relationship.

"I Love You" isn't the best words for they have different shades of meaning.

When all is said and done..
When we are old and gray..
The only thing we need to hear is somebody telling us

"I am here beside you. I will never leave you."

Whether the person loves us or not becomes less significant.
Your differences will no longer be relevant.
Just observe your grandparents if what I'm saying is not true.

Nothing else matters but two of you being with each other .

Just like in the beginning.

Just like the way love should be.

No matter what he is wearing.

AAhhh! The end now!

BUTTWIPE!

Ever been in a relationship where you have to part ways because you have different goals despite having strong feelings for each other still?

Can you stay in a relationship lacking in romance? What is romance to you?

"The best relationships don't end up in marriage ."

What do you make of it?

Is it awkward to be in a romantic relationship with your friend of opposite sex or could it be the best relationship to you? Will you take the risks?

Alright, alright.....

Pick any of the questions to answer. I know some are a bit way out of the topic but what the heck! I want to know.I'm such a curious cat.

"Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder .."







My Blog Directory

"Finding Your Soulmate"

12 Ways to Find Your Soul Mate

Get ready for your soul mate with these steps you can take, starting today.

Like many of you, I spent a good part of my adult life longing—and looking—for my soul mate. There were two things that helped to eventually bring my beloved and me together: I never gave up my faith that he existed. And I discovered the importance of getting ready for love. Just in time for a fresh start this Valentine's Day, here are a few pearls of wisdom on the topic, culled from my own experience and many years of work on the front lines of love and relationships.

Believe in Your Soul Mate

When you talk about soul mates, leave plenty of room for possibility. True love is a big, deep, mystical topic. I spent years trying to nail down the ultimate soul mate theory. I now know that there is no such thing. My advice instead is to keep an open mind, explore different ways that people describe soul mate love, and begin to create your own personal description.

How to Start: Make a list of what “soul mate” means to you and the qualities you seek in your true love. Embrace your belief and find within yourself a place of trust and knowing that there is someone out there, somewhere, for you. If you can believe in love--even when life does not seem to be taking you in that direction--you are halfway there!

Make Your Life Love-Friendly

There is a magical aspect to finding your true love, a feeling that seems to permeate your very being as he or she comes into your life. But before you get to that point, the

re is work to do. We can get set in our ways and beliefs, and our lives might become a little too crowded for true love to find its way in. Some of us have healing to do. All of us need to make our lives “love-friendly.”

How to Start: Gently look around your life for ways that you might be preventing love from finding you. Then make a choice to uncover beliefs, behaviors, and stuff that no longer serve you. Clean up what you no longer need, get your life in the best order possible, and you will find yourself getting ready for a great relationship. This will open the doors and the windows to love and begin to truly open your heart as well.

Acknowledge and Slay the Dragons

In the mythology, fairy tales, and Hollywood movies that shape our consciousness about soulful love, epic lovers have a series of challenges to meet and master, and a few dragons to slay, before they can claim the precious prize of everlasting love. The same holds true for modern soul mates. While some people seem lucky in love--as if they were born in a state of readiness for true intimacy and partnership--the rest of us typically have some life lessons to muddle through first.

How to Start: Be brave now and name the things (dragons) that are keeping you from love. Are you immature in love relationships? Demanding? Needy? Obsessive? Do you love too much? Give yourself away too fast? Have a hard time accepting faults in yourself or

others? Do you consistently choose the wrong kind of people, with the same kinds of issues? Are you stuck in a relationship with the wrong person? Begin to identify the things that get in your way and have burned you in the past. That is the first step toward healing and adjusting your behavior.

Work on Healing Your Love Wounds

In soul mate relationships, people bring one another something they don’t already have and take each other to a place neither have ever been. In its purest essence, soul mate love brings an end to the sense of separation because it truly is like being reunited with the self. In the process of loving one another, your soul mate will help heal you, but can’t be responsible for fixing you--even if he or she wants to, don’t let ‘em! The healing process must begin inside yourself.

How to Start: Find a forum in which you can work on healing your heart, and stick with it. Do it for you, and love will follow. If healing has not begun or progressed--through therapy, grief work, spiritual practice, and any other form of transformational work--we risk being needy and overly anxious, and jumping into the wrong relationship. So choose to make this year a time to heal and move on.

Gently Say Good-Bye to Non-Soul Mate Love

If you are still romantically connected to someone who is not a soul mate, it’s important to discern when one particular relationship has run its course. Most of us know, but sometimes it is hard to let go. It is difficult to let go of a relationship that offers companionship, sex, fun, or financial security. But when you want a true soul mate, holding on to a relationship that only imitates love keeps us from the very thing we say we desire.

How to Start: Don’t try to replace lost love; grieve for the relationship that you must leave. Give yourself some time before you search for another love. This is key for some of us who tends to jump from relationship to relationship. You will know when it is time to open to love again.

Appreciate the Path You’ve Traveled

Even the difficult aspects of romantic evolution can be considered “time served” in preparation for true love. Many of us get our best training in relationship boot camp. We may beat ourselves up for bad marriages, relationships, and dates--any time that seems wasted on Ms. or Mr. Wrong--but in truth, they are an important, instructive part of the journey. The grand awakening to what soul mate love is comes by discovering firsthand what it is not.

How to Start: Appreciate the relationships that have taught you what you don’t want. Honor those loves. Express gratitude for the lessons you have learned, even the toughest ones. Send a spiritual message to your old flame’s angels saying, “I thank you, I bless you, I release you.”

Clean Your House for Love

As you work hard to clean out your emotional and spiritual House of Love, also clean out your physical house to make room for love. Be honest and begin the process of peeling old love stuff away. Still have a photo on the mantel of you and your high school sweetheart? Are you still sleeping on the same bed you shared with an ex? Do you lounge around the house in an ex’s old shirt? Be gone with them.

How to Start: Clean out closets, drawers, and rooms to begin to physically release things. Toss out old stuff that depletes your energy and keeps you stuck in the past. Liberate yourself from the past by cleaning out one drawer at a time, until you work your way through the pain of divorce and abandonment, the ones that got away, and the ones who left you disappointed in love.

Develop the Capacity to Identify True Love

By the time your soul mate stands before you, eyes searching into your own, heart connected to yours, you will have both done quite a lot of personal and spiritual development work. At any age, we need to work on developing the capacity and maturity to distinguish real love from “hope” created by fantasies you project on someone who has “potential.”

How to Start: In order to recognize true love, you have to have a sense of what love looks like: you must learn to see through your spiritual eyes. Soul connection is tangible; there really is no guessing or wondering when the real thing comes along. There is usually a telltale sign that lets you know when true love has arrived--a deep sense of knowing, a “gut feeling," or even a still, small voice in your head that says this is someone special to you.

Don’t Hate Being Single

Some people hate being single. Some of us imagine that when we finally find “the one,” that’s when we will finally start living. To the contrary, our job is to live fully… that is how your soul mate will know you. If you are traveling a fast lane of life with little time for nurturing the heart or spirit, or if you hide out in a way that isolates you from the flow of life, the window of opportunity could be delayed or missed.

How to Start: Honor the state of not yet having a mate. Enjoy your life, go out with friends, and pursue paths of self improvement. Spend time fine tuning skills, nurturing interests, and having adventures. Study, take courses, and do things that help you grow personally, spiritually, and professionally. Work on creating the life you want to be leading--even if there is no one to share it with yet--and in the process, you will create a fuller, richer, and more welcoming life.

Honor the Yearning

Many people find themselves going crazy with yearning, wishing love were by their side. We resist those feelings, and consider them awkward and sad. But the truth is, the time of longing and yearning for love is the most powerful time. It means love is so close that you can feel it...and there is a part of you recognizing that there is something missing. There is something that drives us to want to love deeply and completely, in a relationship we feel is meant to be. Could it be your soul is searching for its other half?

How to Start: Allow the yearning. Make friends with it, because it will lead you to love. In soul mate relationships, lovers meet one another halfway. Your honest yearning for your true love spiritually connects the two of you together.

Get Creative

It is important to consciously create your own soul mate reality. Use any creative tools you are comfortable with. Write, visualize, daydream, and pray your way to a great relationship. Cut out magazine pictures of couples in love, makes lists and write stories about the relationship you choose. Hollywood movies fill our psyches with images of “perfect love.” We also have the power to create our own personal movie-like narratives, love stories based on our own desires and hopes.

How to Start: Focus your energy on calling your true love to you now. For 30 days and 30 nights, take 15 minutes in the morning and 15 before bedtime to play the “movie” of the “Love of My Life” in your head and your heart. See the love you yearn for already there, and feel the good feelings of being in love. Adjust your movie and improve it every day, adding great new scenes.

Open Your Arms to Your True Love

Finding your soul mate requires more than a wish, a hope, and a dream. It often requires us to become bigger and to grow beyond certain limitations; to heal ourselves as best we can; and to be courageous, because opening the heart is not always an easy task. It asks us to be willing to receive love, which for some of us is the hardest part. It takes us on a journey that helps us grow into the kind of person who is truly ready for a real and lasting relationship. You might feel sometimes as if you are getting nowhere, or feel like giving up. Hang in there. Stay open. Love may not be far behind!

How to Start: Imagine the warmth and love in your soul mate’s embrace. Get a sense of what it would feel like to be that open, that loving, and that welcoming to another. When you go to bed at night, open your arms to your love and whisper, “I am here for you.” And when you awake in the morning, open your arms and affirm, “I am ready for you, my love.” Even in moments of doubt and fear, open your arms to love. Know that every step you take in the direction of love will bring your true love closer to you.

"How To Get Him "Addicted" To You"‏

LOVE SPELL , GET HIM ADDICTED

Did you know that getting a guy
"addicted" to you won't happen JUST BECAUSE
you're:

-- the most beautiful woman he knows
-- or the smartest
-- or the most "together" and successful?

Nope, it doesn't work that way.

It happens because of the way he experiences
you on an EMOTIONAL level, not necessarily JUST
on a physical or intellectual level.

A man's not going to think, "I have to have this
woman in my life!" because you've impressed him
with your intellectual prowess or because you
have great abs.

Ok - maybe he'll want you "for now" because he'll
be physically attracted to you, but he's not going
to be thinking about a long-term "serious"
relationship with you because of those reasons.

There's only one reason a man will become
literally addicted to you for life... And that's
because he feels a strong EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION to
you.

And the way to create that is explained in detail
right here:

http://www.catchhimkeephim.com/NALA

I've got a fascinating story for you.

Tell me if it sounds familiar...

You're hanging out talking with some friends,
when all of a sudden the conversation turns to a
common topic - love and relationships.

And each woman at the table starts talking
about the situation she's in and all the amazing
things about it.

At first you're enjoying the stories and you're
happy for your friends.

But then it hits you -

You are the only person there who ISN'T in an
ongoing positive relationship.

Everyone else at the table has someone in their
life who they're excited and optimistic about.

Everyone else has something "real."

Everyone except you.

You're ALONE... and that guy who you "date",
without the relationship going anywhere, well - he
doesn't cut it.

So you stop for a second and think,

"Maybe it's me..."

"Maybe it's not all because of the way men are,
but how I am. That explains why I don't have real
love in my life."

As you think about this for a second, you can't
help but feel a little lonely all of a sudden, and
a small twinge of sadness wells up inside.

But as these feelings start to grow, you know
inside that you deserve better, and you wish the
feeling would just go away.

But it doesn't... and the last thing you want
to do is "go there" in front of your friends.

Especially since they just got through telling
all of their great stories.

You don't want them to know how you really feel
right now... and you wish this feeling and problem
would just go away.

You think to yourself:

"Why does love and a relationship have to be so
difficult?"

"If only men weren't so difficult to be with."

But then your "protective" side kicks in, and
you start fighting these feelings and tell
yourself:

"I don't need a man."

"I'm happy with my life as it is."

"I'm happy to be single and focus on myself
right now, instead of wasting my time and energy
in a dead-end situation with a man."

"Men are all screwed up and trouble anyway, and
I don't need that in my life right now."

Ahhhh... it starts to work and you calm down
and regain your "cool."

But somewhere deep down inside, you know why
you felt sad -

Seeing all your friends happy in their love
lives reminded you of something...

For all the reasons you have to be happy, and
all the ways you can convince other people (and
yourself) that you're fulfilled, you REALLY DO
want something much, much better.

You want a REAL CONNECTION.

You want to share REAL LOVE and BE LOVED.

And you wonder how long you can avoid the
reality that these things are MISSING from your
life by staying busy and taking care of other
areas of life.

You know you can't go on this way forever.

Something has to change.

There HAS to be something better out there for
you. Or else what's it all for?

But then you remember...

It's been months, maybe even years, since
you've actually made the time and space in your
life to meet and connect with the kind of man who
could bring great things back into your love life.

And in fact, the idea of "dating" sounds like a
complete and utter NIGHTMARE.

Sitting through a date listening to some bozo,
who has no idea how to really connect with you,
ramble on about himself, would just make you feel
even more hopeless and alone.

So you've basically shut out of your life the
idea of dating and going out with men for more
than friendship.

But then how are you supposed to meet and
connect with a great guy?

And how did EVERYONE ELSE around you manage to
become CLOSE and COMMITTED with a good guy, while
you're having an impossible time finding a guy who
isn't totally clueless?

Do they know something you don't?

Are you just UNLUCKY in love... and not meant
to have a great relationship for yourself?

Are they somehow more attractive than you are?

Why does it have to be so difficult?

And why does it have to be such a "game"?

***End of story**


Ok, I know I got a little "heavy" on you
there, but it's for your own good.

This story is basically a myth... a collection
of common situations, fears, beliefs, etc., that
women experience.

And in case you didn't notice, a lot of what
was going on here in the story had to do with a
woman's own limiting thoughts, frustrations and
negative beliefs about men, dating and
relationships.

If you identified with a few of these thoughts,
fears, etc., then I want you to recognize
something.

Some women have VERY FEW of these negative and
limiting thoughts.

While other women have TONS.

I'm talking 10, 20, 30 and 50 times a day here.

And what do you think that does for a woman?

Or for you?

Let's try something new today - an exercise.

Take a second and imagine something for me...

Picture in your mind a woman you know who's
either single or in a "troubled" relationship.

Make sure you have a clear picture of her in
your mind.

Now I want you to imagine her having negative
thoughts and fears like the ones we've been
talking about here.

In fact, I also want you to give her some of
the fears and negative thoughts that you have.

And now... concentrate on how these thoughts
make her FEEL and ACT.

See how they affect her emotions, her attitude
and even her body language.

I'll give you a second to picture this clearly
in your mind...

Ok, now imagine a situation comes up for her
uncertain situation with the man in her life.

Picture her emotions, her thoughts and how she
communicates to the man in her life in your head.

I'll give you a second to think about this and
imagine it happening in your mind.

...

...

I'll give you another minute.

Ok, come on back.

Now, I want you answer a question for me:

How did all of her negative thoughts affect how
she interacted with her guy?

Did they help guide her to positive and
constructive communication that brought them
CLOSER together?

Or did it tend to make communication with him
MORE DIFFICULT and create DISTANCE?

I'm sure you came up with all kinds of
insights and realizations, but here's what I want
you to see:

Communicating with a man from a place of fear
and insecurity will more often create DISTANCE
than it will bring you and him together.

Unless the guy you're with is ALREADY an expert
at communicating and dealing with these things
himself.

If only men were experts when it came to having
open, lasting relationships and communicating in
ways that would bring you closer, right?

Wouldn't that be nice.

Well, the truth is men are RARELY experts in
these areas.

And sure... a man COULD come along and be such
a wonderful and amazing guy that he would help
make relationships and communicating easier.

But if that doesn't happen, or the great guy
you do find doesn't happen to have these natural
skills and abilities (and by the way, most men
don't)...

Then guess what?

It's up to YOU.

He's not going to make it work FOR YOU.

In fact, the reality is that as you are first
becoming close with a man, he's more likely to
trigger your own fears than to help resolve them.

I'm not telling you about this right now just
because I'm trying to teach you some "mumbo jumbo"
about how thoughts, energy and intention work
together...

(Which they do.)

But for another simple reason -

There's something you can do right now to
DRAMATICALLY improve the level of connection and
intimacy you have in your love life.

It all starts in one place.

Paying attention to HOW YOU THINK.

On a basic level, your own patterns of THINKING
and FEELING lead to the ACTIONS you take and the
BEHAVIOR you display.

And guess what can create a "negative filter"
on your THINKING and FEELINGS?

FEAR.

And if you're finding that your actions and
behaviors aren't "naturally" attracting good men
and creating healthy long-term relationships...
then you've got something to look at right now:

Your own thoughts and emotions, and your own
fears.

And, of course, you could worry about HIS
ISSUES too, but let's save working on him for
later when you're up to speed on all this for
yourself.


GETTING PAST FEAR, "CONNECTING" ON A DEEP LEVEL,
AND MAKING MEN ADDICTED TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP...

Ok, let's get to some real ANSWERS here.

What do you DO when you have negative, fearful,
limiting thoughts and situations going on in your
mind that are affecting your love life?

Well, I'm not going to tell you that all women
who are single or in "dead-end" relationships are
in that place in their life JUST BECAUSE they
think and feel in "fear-based" and "self-limiting"
ways.

But do the math.

What kind of women do you think men "naturally"
gravitate towards?

What kind of women do you think men
"instinctively" feel good when they're around,
even if they don't know why?

What kind of women do you think men understand,
on a subconscious level and make great long-term
partners?

Right again.

Women who are in CONTROL of their own fears and
emotions when it comes to men, dating and
relationships.

Why?

It's NOT because feelings and emotions
themselves are bad...

Feelings and emotions are probably the most
beautiful part of what makes us human and allows
us to experience the world in a deep and
meaningful way.

But, what I'm talking about here are NEGATIVE
feelings.

Because negative feelings, more often than not,
lead to NEGATIVE EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES.

And women who are in CONTROL of their EMOTIONAL
EXPERIENCES and who have a handle on their own
emotional state, know how to do something that
other women can't and will never be able to
fake...

They know how to consistently create more
POSITIVE EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES with men.

On one level, it really is that simple.

In practice, it's much harder.

In my "Catch Him & Keep Him" eBook I've devoted
3 ENTIRE CHAPTERS to the subject of creating the
optimum "emotional fitness" for a successful
relationship.

You'll learn the SCIENCE behind emotions, how
to take your own Emotional Ownership, and
Emotional Display Rules - the "do's and don'ts"
for creating new emotional AND intellectual wisdom
before you act in certain situations.

You can download it and be reading it right now
by going here:

http://www.catchhimkeephim.com/eBook


So let's get on now to ATTRACTION.

The truth is that men are attracted to one
woman and not another largely because of the way
that one woman makes them FEEL.

And NOT because of what logically sound
qualities each person and the relationship has.

ATTRACTION and CONNECTION have their own
"logic."

I'll say it again so you can really hear it
this time -

A man is attracted to a woman and wants to be
with her, and only her, because of the way he
FEELS when he's around her.

And not for any other reason.

Not even if the women is the most loving,
caring, sweet, generous, and intelligent woman in
the world.

I'm even going to "translate" this for you so
you're sure to start seeing it more clearly -

Translation: The emotional experiences that a
man has when he's around a woman are the single
most powerful reasons why he either wants a long-
term relationship, or doesn't.

And to make this even more clear, let me tell
you what this DOESN'T mean...

It DOESN'T mean that a man wants to be with a
woman because he VALUES a relationship and having
true love in his life.

Or that a woman can be so good to a man and do
so many loving and generous things for him that he
recognizes the LOGICAL value of staying with her
and makes the "right" decision.

Feelings and emotions have their own logic,
which has NOTHING to do with what makes "sense" or
what is "fair."

And the sooner you accept this as true about
men, the easier EVERYTHING in your love life and
relationship will become.


CREATING A DEEP LEVEL OF "EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION"
THAT WILL LEAD TO A LASTING RELATIONSHIP

So how do you make a man FEEL when he's around
you?

What are the conscious and subconscious
emotional reactions and responses he's likely to
be having with you, based on your emotions and
your behavior?

Take a minute and think about it.

...

...

Here's the bottom line:

A woman who can communicate to a man on a
deeper level that she's AWARE and IN CONTROL of
her own experience and "emotional" state will make
a man feel INTENSE ATTRACTION for her on that same
emotional level.

She's an "emotionally attractive" woman, which
can tell a man all kinds of things about her
BEYOND the PHYSICAL ATTRACTION and interest he
might have.

On the other hand...

Women who DON'T have a handle on these things
have quite a different effect on men...

These women can still usually make men feel
PHYSICAL ATTRACTION - but they often set off all
kinds of conscious and subconscious "warning
signs" in a man's mind.

Signals that then become FEELINGS and EMOTIONS
inside the man that tell him to RUN.

And under no circumstance commit himself and
attach his emotional experience to hers.

Here's the strangest part about women who send
off these "warning signals" to men...

Most women do this largely BY ACCIDENT.

That's right. Lots of women actually trigger
negative responses inside a man's mind while doing
things they think are FOR THE GOOD of the
relationship.

How's that for COUNTERPRODUCTIVE?

And hey... I know it might bother you to hear
some of what I'm saying. And that you probably
have been more caring and generous with your
thoughts and emotions in your past situations with
men than they were with you.

I get that.

But someone needs to tell you how men really
and truly think when it comes to women and
relationships.

And of course men have their own specialized
set of "baggage" and fears, too.

But let me ask you:

What do you know, FROM EXPERIENCE, will happen
if a man doesn't deal with his own fears about
women and relationships?

DISASTER.

I'm talking withdrawal, break-ups, cheating,
lying, etc.

The list goes on.

But if a guy takes the time and develops the
"emotional maturity" to think about the negative
and limiting fears HE HAS about women and
relationships...

And finds a healthy level of AWARENESS and
CONTROL around these...

Then this is the kind of guy that women will
"naturally" be drawn to and enjoy being with.

Your first step to creating a situation with a
man where you BOTH feel the level of connection
that will create and support a lasting
relationship is to accept that MEN DON'T MAKE
SENSE.

Why?

Because remember, our EMOTIONS don't follow a
logical or "rational" path.

If you're interested in learning more about
what I call "Emotional Attraction" - which is the
kind of attraction and desire in a man that goes
BEYOND PHYSICAL ATTRACTION, then I'd suggest you
go check out my "Natural & Lasting Attraction"
CD/DVD program.

This program is the world's first complete
guide and reference on how to create both that
initial "connection" and LASTING LONG-TERM
ATTRACTION...

While showing you how to deal with all of the
common relationship-ending obstacles you'll run
into with men, and within yourself, along the way.

Inside this 7-hour program, I cover everything
from the psychological foundations of how and why
a man becomes connected and attracted to a woman
for a lasting relationship...

To exactly what to do in the frustrating
situation where you start getting closer and more
connected, but then he starts to withdraw and act
MORE DISTANT as time goes on.

By the way, the material in this program is all
NEW MATERIAL that wasn't covered in my eBook, if
you've already read it.

But let me ask you...

Wouldn't it be great to know the specific
emotional and verbal "strategies" of women who
seem to effortlessly and "naturally" attract men?

In this program I get deep into these areas and
teach you how to keep that deep level of
connection and intimacy growing - in a way that
will have HIM initiating the growth, too.

That way you're not always feeling like you
have to "drive" your relationship to get where
you're going.

You'll know how to help him "take the wheel"
too... and love every minute of it.

I also focus on the common negative or
counterproductive "strategies" that LOTS of women
use when things don't seem to be moving forward.

Seeing these common negative strategies,
learning where they come from, and figuring out
how to avoid them is CRITICAL.

Knowing exactly what NOT TO DO will bring you
the CLARITY you've been looking for with men, and
save you tons of wasted time and energy in your
love life.

Here's the thing...

I spent a good portion of this program focusing
on helping you to identify YOUR OWN specific fears
and frustrations with men and relationships that
are holding you back right now -

Some of which I've already had you take a short
look at here.

Inside this program I walk you through powerful
guided exercises to help you clearly recognize
your own important "trouble spots."

Then I show you how to immediately turn them
into POSITIVE action steps and INSTANTLY change
your old relationship and communication patterns
into positive results and outcomes.

But you don't have to listen to me - some GUY
telling you all this.

You can watch REAL VIDEOS of REAL WOMEN, who
experienced this program live, tell you their
stories and what they got out of the program as a
woman.

Follow this link, go to the bottom of the page
and watch the videos there - and let me know what
you think:

http://www.catchhimkeephim.com/NALA


I'm so sure you're going to get MASSIVE RESULTS
and take your love life, perspective, and
AWARENESS to the next level with this program that
I'll do something special here...

I'm going to let you try out the program for 30
days without paying a thing.

Zero.

I'll ship you your copy of the CDs or DVDs for
to you work with for 30 whole days.

If you don't get everything you thought you'd
get out of the program and more, simply let me
know and you won't pay a thing.

No hassles.

So what do you have to lose?

Not much.

But what you have to gain could mean everything
to your future love life and relationship.

http://www.catchhimkeephim.com/NALA

One more quick question:

What's your biggest frustration
with men, relationships and dating?

Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep
their attention and interest as soon as things
start to get "serious"?

Are you wondering how to approach your
boyfriend about commitment, because you've
been together a long time now and HE isn't
bringing it up on his own?

Are you worried that the man you're with will
cheat on you?

I actually put together a list of "Top 10"
questions that I most commonly get from women
like you, who are wondering how to get past
certain "bumps" in the road when it comes to
their love lives.

Find out what to do in each of these situations,
and see if YOUR specific relationship or dating
question is one that I answer in the letter that
appears on this page:

http://www.catchhimkeephim.com/Catalog