"Don't Rush Marriage"

Are You Really Ready For This?


Don't get Married Just Because , Know Your Reasons

Waiting until your 30's or 40's to commit is not a bad thing. if it takes that long for you to find the person you're meant to be with then that's the way its going to go. don't tell yourself that you're going to give up at a certain point because then you may find that you push away the one person that you're meant to spend the rest of your life with. finding someone while you're young may not necessarily be the best thing for you. don't dwell so much on the fact that you're "alone" now and just enjoy your life. be positive about things, push away the negative, and stop questioning yourself. you're fine the way you are and you don't need to wonder what it is about you that might be wrong. like you said, you may be attracting the wrong people right now, but with patience you will find that the right one will fall into your lap.

Let's face it, most relationships don't workout and you'll go threw a lot of fakies, whores, cheaters and such before you find the right person. I don't know if i believe there is someone for everyone, I think if you find "your true love" your lucky. At the point I'm at, I'm thinking about me. Be selfish. I want to do well in school/become educated and if I don't find the right person I will never get married. Never. I'm more scared of being with the wrong person then being alone.

"A Vow That Should Kept,"Till Death Do Us Part"

As you've probably heard, nearly half of all marriages now end in divorce, leaving bitter spouses and confused children in their wake. Don't let this happen to you! Whether your marriage is going through tough times or is experiencing marital bliss, or even if you're not yet married but considering it, here's some free but proven advice to help your marriage last. It's straight from God, the one who created and ordained marriage! If you've tried everything else, why not give God a chance? Follow the keys in this guide, and you can secure your home.Seventeen Rules for a Happy Marriage From God's Great Book

1. Establish your own private home."Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Genesis 2:24.

Answer: God's rule is specific. A married couple must leave father and mother and establish their own home, even if finances require that it be a one-room apartment. Husband and wife should decide together on such policies as these. Then she should inform her relatives and he, his. They must remain firm no matter who opposes. Thousands of divorces would be avoided if this rule were carefully followed.

2. Continue your courtship."Above all hold unfailing your love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8, RSV.* "Her husband ... praiseth her." Proverbs 31:28. "She that is married careth ... how she may please her husband." 1 Corinthians 7:34. "Be kindly affectioned one to another ... in honour preferring one another." Romans 12:10.

Answer: Continue (or perhaps revive) the courtesies of courtship in your married life. Successful marriages do not just happen; they must be developed. Don't take each other for granted, or the monotony that results will destroy your marriage. Keep love growing by expressing love for one another or it will die, and you will drift apart. Love and happiness are not found by seeking them for yourself, but rather by giving them to others.

So spend as much time as possible doing things together if you would get along well. Learn to greet each other with enthusiasm. Relax, visit, shop, sightsee, eat together. Don't overlook the little courtesies, encouragements, and affectionate acts. Surprise each other with little gifts or favors. Try to "outlove" each other. Don't take more out of marriage than you put into it. Divorce itself is not the greatest destroyer of marriage, but rather, lack of love. Given a chance, love always wins.*The Revised Standard Version of the Bible, (C) 1946, 1952, 1971 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA. Used by permission.

3. Remember that God joined you together in marriage."For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife. ... Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." Matthew 19:5, 6.

Answer: Has love almost disappeared from your home? The devil (that notorious home-breaker) is responsible for this. Don't forget that God Himself joined you together in marriage, and He intends for you to stay together and be happy. He will bring happiness and love into your lives if you will obey His divine rules (commandments). "With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26. Don't despair. God, who places love in the heart of a missionary for a leprous savage, can easily give you love for each other if you will let Him.

4. Guard your thoughts--don't let your senses trap you."For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he." Proverbs 23:7. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife." Exodus 20:17. "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." Proverbs 4:23. "Whatsoever things are true, ... honest, ... just, ... pure, ... lovely, ... of good report; ... think on these things." Philippians 4:8.

Answer: The wrong kind of thinking will destroy your marriage. The devil will trap you with thoughts like these: "Our marriage was a mistake." "She doesn't understand me." "I can't take much more of this." "We can always divorce if necessary." "I'll go home to mother." "He smiled at that woman." Stop thinking thoughts like these or your marriage is gone, because your thoughts and senses govern your actions. Avoid seeing, saying, reading, or hearing anything that (or associating with anyone who) suggests impurity or unfaithfulness. Thoughts uncontrolled are like an automobile in neutral on a hill. Anything can happen, and the result is always disaster.

5. Never retire for the night angry with each other."Let not the sun go down upon your wrath." Ephesians 4:26. "Confess your faults one to another." James 5:16. "Forgetting those things which are behind." Philippians 3:13. "Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32.

Answer: To remain angry and upset over hurts and grievances (big or little) is exceedingly dangerous. Unless quickly solved, even little problems become set in your mind as convictions and attitudes adversely affecting your whole philosophy of life. This is why God says to let anger cool before retiring at night. Be big enough to forgive and to say with sincerity, "I'm sorry." After all, no one is perfect, and you are both on the same team, so be sportsmanlike enough to honestly admit a mistake when you make it. Besides, making up is a very pleasant experience, with unusual powers to draw marriage partners closer together. God suggests it! It works!

6. Keep Christ in the center of your home."Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it." Psalms 127:1. "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:6. "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7.

Answer: This is the greatest rule. It really covers all the others. Put Christ first! The real secret of true happiness in the home is not diplomacy, strategy, and untiring effort to overcome problems, but rather, union with Christ. Hearts filled with Christ's love can never be very far apart. With Christ in the home, marriage will be successful. The gospel is the cure for all marriages that are filled with hatred, bitterness, and disappointment. It prevents thousands of divorces by miraculously restoring love and happiness. It will save your marriage, too, if you are willing.

7. Pray together."Pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." Matthew 26:41. "Pray one for another." James 5:16. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally." James 1:5.

Answer: Pray aloud for each other! This is a wonderful rule that succeeds beyond the wildest dream. Kneel before God and ask Him for true love for one another, for forgiveness, for strength, for wisdom--for the solution to problems. God has given a personal guarantee that He will answer. The praying person is not automatically cured of all of his faults, but he will have a heart that wants to do right. No family ever breaks up while sincerely praying together for God's help.

8. Agree that divorce is not the answer."What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." Matthew 19:6. "Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." Matthew 19:9. "The woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth." Romans 7:2.

Answer: The Bible is clear. The ties of marriage are meant to be indissoluble and indestructible. Divorce is permissible only in the case of adultery. But even then it is not demanded, only permitted. Forgiveness is always better than divorce, even in the case of a moral fall. Marriage is for life. God so ordained it when He performed the first wedding in Eden. Thoughts of divorce as a solution will destroy any marriage. This is one reason Jesus ruled it out. Divorce is always destructive and almost never a solution to the problem. Instead, it creates much greater problems, so it should never be considered. Torn, frustrated, unhappy, twisted lives almost inevitably follow divorce, and even success in life itself is often thwarted. God instituted marriage to guard people's purity and happiness, to provide for their social needs, and to elevate their physical, mental, and moral nature. Its vows are among the most solemn and binding obligations that human beings can assume. To lightly set them aside results in removing one's self from God's favor and blessing.

9. Keep the family circle closed tightly.

"Thou shalt not commit adultery." Exodus 20:14. "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. ... She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:11, 12. "The Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously." Malachi 2:14. "Keep thee from the evil woman. ... Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. ... Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? ... So he that goeth in to his neighbour's wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent." Proverbs 6:24-29.

Answer: Family intimacies must never be shared with others--not even with parents. It is a great sin and a tragedy to break this God-given rule. A third person to sympathize or listen to complaints is a tool of the devil to estrange the hearts of husband and wife. Solve your home problems privately. No one else (except your minister or marriage counselor) should ever be involved. Always be truthful with each other, and never keep secrets from each other. Tell no jokes at the expense of your spouse's feelings. Vigorously defend each other, and strictly exclude all intruders. And as for adultery (in spite of what some marriage counselors say), it always hurts you and everyone else involved. God, who knows our mind, body, and emotional structure (and knows what helps or hurts us) says, "Thou shalt not." And when He says, "Don't," we had better not. Those who ignore His rule will pay the supreme penalty. So if flirtations have begun, break them off at once, or shadows may settle over your life that cannot be lifted.

10. God describes love; make it your daily goal to measure up."Love is forbearing and kind. Love knows no jealousy. Love does not brag; is not conceited. She is not unmannerly, nor selfish, nor irritable, nor mindful of wrongs. She does not rejoice in injustice, but joyfully sides with the truth. She can overlook faults. She is full of trust, full of hope, full of endurance." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Weymouth.*

Answer: Please reread the above Scripture passage carefully. This is God's true description of love. How do you measure up? Love is not a sentimental impulse, but a holy principle that involves every phase and action of life. With true love, your marriage cannot fail. Without it, it cannot succeed.*Weymouth's New Testament in Modern Speech by Richard Francis Weymouth. Special arrangement with James Clarke & Company Ltd.

11. Remember that criticism and nagging destroy love."Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." Colossians 3:19. "It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman." Proverbs 21:19. "A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike." Proverbs 27:15. "Why beholdest thou the mote [splinter] that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam [whole board] that is in thine own eye?" Matthew 7:3. "Love ... looks for a way of being constructive." 1 Corinthians 13:4, Phillips.*

Answer: Stop criticizing, nagging, and faultfinding. Your husband or wife may lack much, but nagging won't help. Don't expect perfection, or bitterness will result. Overlook faults, and hunt for the good things. Don't try to reform, control, or compel your partner--you will destroy love. Only God can change people. A sense of humor, a cheerful heart, kindness, patience, and affection will banish two-thirds of your marriage problems. Try to make your spouse happy rather than good, and the good will take care of itself. The secret of a successful marriage lies not in having the right partner, but rather in being the right partner.

12. Do not overdo in anything; be temperate."Every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things." 1 Corinthians 9:25. "Love ... does not pursue selfish advantage." 1 Corinthians 13:5, Phillips.* "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31. "I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection." 1 Corinthians 9:27. "If any would not work, neither should he eat." 2 Thessalonians 3:10. "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled." Hebrews 13:4. "Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin." Romans 6:12, 13.

Answer: Overdoing will ruin your marriage. So will underdoing. Work, love, rest, exercise, play, worship, meals, and social contacts must be carefully balanced in your marriage, or something will snap. Overwork and the lack of sleep, proper food, or exercise make a person critical, intolerant, and negative. Constant overeating is a great evil that strengthens the lower nature and dulls the conscience.Sexual abuses destroy a love for holy things and weaken vitality. Marriage gives no license to sexual excesses. Degrading, twisted, or intemperate sex acts destroy love and respect for one another. A temperate sex life is recommended by the Bible (1 Corinthians 7:3-7). Social contacts with others are absolutely essential. True happiness cannot be found in isolation. We must learn to laugh and enjoy wholesome, good times. To be overly serious is dangerous. Overdoing or underdoing in anything weakens the mind, body, conscience, and the ability to love and respect one another. Don't let intemperance wreck your marriage.13. Respect each other's personal rights and privacies.

"Love is forbearing. ... Love knows no jealousy. ... She is not unmannerly, nor selfish. ... She does not rejoice in injustice. ... She is full of trust." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Weymouth.* "Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another." Romans 12:10.

Answer: Each spouse has a God-given right to certain personal privacies without explanation. Do not tamper with each other's wallets or purses, personal mail, and other private property unless given permission. The right to privacy and quietude when preoccupied should be respected. Your husband or wife even has a right to be wrong part of the time and is entitled to an "off-day" without being given the third degree.

Marriage partners do not own each other and should never try to force personality changes. Only God can make such changes, and we shall all answer personally to Him on this matter (Romans 14:12). Perfect confidence and trust in one another--no checking up on each other--is absolutely essential for happiness. Spend less time trying to "figure out" your spouse and more time trying to please her or him. This works wonders.*Weymouth's New Testament in Modern Speech by Richard Francis Weymouth. Special arrangement with James Clarke & Company Ltd.

14. Be clean, modest, orderly, and dutiful."In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel." 1 Timothy 2:9. "She ... works with willing hands." "She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household." "She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness." Proverbs 31:13, 15, 27, RSV.* "Be ye clean." Isaiah 52:11. "Let all things be done decently and in order." 1 Corinthians 14:40. "If any provide not ... for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." 1 Timothy 5:8. "Be not slothful." Hebrews 6:12.

Answer: Laziness, disorder, dirt, and slovenliness are the devil's weapons to destroy your respect and affection for one another, and thus ruin your marriage. Neat, modest attire and clean, well-groomed bodies are essential for both husband and wife. The meals should be wholesome, attractive, and served on time. The home should be clean and orderly, because this brings peace, calmness, and satisfaction to all. A lazy, shiftless husband who does not provide for his household is a curse to his family and an insult to God. Carelessness in some of these seemingly small matters is destroying homes by the thousands.*The Revised Standard Version of the Bible, (C) 1946, 1952, 1971 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA. Used by permission.

15. Determine to speak softly and kindly."A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." Proverbs 15:1. "Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest." Ecclesiastes 9:9. "When I became a man, I put away childish things." 1 Corinthians 13:11.

Answer: Force yourself to speak softly and kindly to your spouse. Silence, when one is attacked, is often the best method to cool wrath. Decisions made when angry, tired, or discouraged are unreliable anyway, so it's best to relax and let anger cool. And when you do speak, let it always be quietly and lovingly. Harsh, angry words crush your spouse's desire to please you.

16. Be reasonable in money matters."It [love] is not possessive. ... Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage." 1 Corinthians 13:4, 5, Phillips.* "God loveth a cheerful giver." 2 Corinthians 9:7.

Answer: All possessions and income in marriage should be "ours," not "yours" and "mine." Wives who don't work outside the home should receive a regular amount for groceries, clothing, and other budgeted items. It should be cheerfully provided instead of grudgingly released under protest. Wife and husband both should have small, equal sums (whenever possible) to spend as desired without giving account. A miserly husband usually angers his wife into being a spender, just as a wasteful husband makes a wife stingy. Showing confidence in your companion's managing ability will usually make him or her more businesslike.

17. Talk things over and counsel together freely. "It [love] is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance. ... It is not touchy." 1 Corinthians 13:4, 5, Phillips.* "He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul." Proverbs 15:32. "Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? there is more hope of a fool than of him." Proverbs 26:12.

Answer: Few things will strengthen your marriage more than counseling together on all major decisions. Changing a job or purchasing a home, an automobile, a boat, furniture, clothing (major items at least), and all other items that require money involve both husband and wife, and the opinions of both should be considered. Talking things over together will avoid many blunders that could ruin your marriage. If, after much discussion and earnest prayer, opinions still differ, the wife should submit to her husband's decision. Scripture is clear on this. (See Ephesians 5:22-24.)

18. I want my home to be a place the angels of heaven enjoy visiting.

Answer:
Thought Questions

1. Which marriage partner should be the first to confess after a quarrel? (Romans 15:1 )The one who was in the right!

2. Could you suggest a rule for a meddlesome mother-in-law? (1 Thessalonians 4:11 )Yes! Be quiet and mind your own business! (See 1 Thessalonians 4:11.) In fact, this rule applies to all in-laws. Many a marriage that might have been a little heaven on earth has been changed into hell by in-laws. The duty of all in-laws is to leave the newly established home strictly alone.

3. My husband is a godless man, and I am trying to be a Christian. His influence is terrible. Should I divorce him? (1 Corinthians 7:12 )No! Read 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 and 1 Peter 3:1, 2. God gives a specific answer.

4. When my husband displeases me, I won't sleep with him. He says I am wrong. Am I? (1 Corinthians 7:4 )Yes! God gives a definite answer to this question in 1 Corinthians 7:4, 5.

5. My wife ran off with another man. Now repentant, she wants to return home. My pastor says I should take her back, but God forbids this, doesn't He? (Matthew 6:14 )No. No, indeed! God permits divorce for adultery, but does not command it. Forgiveness is always better and is always in order. (See Matthew 6:14, 15.) Divorce will seriously mar your life and the lives of your children. Give her another chance! The golden rule (Matthew 7:12) applies here. If you and your wife will turn your lives over to Christ, He will make your marriage supremely happy. It is not too late.

6. What can I do? Men are always attempting familiarities with me. (1 Thessalonians 5:22 )Be very careful of your conduct. God says, "Abstain from all appearance of evil." 1 Thessalonians 5:22. Perhaps your conduct around men--a suggestive smile, immodest clothing, off-color jokes, or a "too relaxed" and comfortable attitude--encourages their advances. There is something about Christian reserve and dignity that keeps a man in his place. Christ said, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." Matthew 5:16. When Christ really shines from your life, you will have little trouble with evil men and their advances.

7. Can you tell me simply and plainly what God's counsel is to one who has fallen but is truly repentant? (John 8:11 )Long ago Christ gave a pointed and comforting answer to one who had fallen into immorality but was repentant. He said, "Go, and sin no more." John 8:11. His counsel still applies today.8. Isn't the "innocent party" in a divorce sometimes partially guilty also? (1 Samuel 16:7 )Certainly. Sometimes the "innocent party," by lovelessness, inattentiveness, self-righteousness, unkindness, selfishness, nagging, and downright coldness, can encourage evil thoughts and actions in his or her spouse. Sometimes the "innocent party" may be equally as guilty before God as the "guilty" one. God looks upon our motives and judges accordingly. "For the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7.9. Does God expect me to live with a physically abusive spouse? ( )Physical abuse can be life threatening and is a serious problem that demands immediate attention. The spouse and family members who have been physically abused must find a safe environment in which to live. Both husband and wife need to seek professional help through a qualified Christian marriage counselor.

"WOMAN"

WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE
Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.


Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain;
to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply

Because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your undying support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this......

How to Tell If He Wants to Marry You

Is He The One Whom You Will Give Your Vow?

Have you been wondering if the man of your dreams is ever going to propose to you? Well there are ways that you can tell and there are things that you can do to help him prepare for the next step of commitment.

This article will discuss some of the many ways you can tell if a man is going to pop the question and what hints he may drop to let you know that he is thinking about it.

He approaches you first. This is an easy way to know that he "diggs" you. Apparently you have something going for you that attract you to him. Now don't get too excited. Most men approach women anyways, even if they are looking for a good time or a one-night stand.

But it is also a good thing for him to be interested enough in you that he wants to share some of your time with you. Sometimes a man will wait and watch a woman patiently when he is head over heels for her. He will study her every move and wonder about her personality. When he is finally ready, he will approach her.

Many women do not realize that their husbands were watching them closely before they got together. Don't get discouraged if the man of your dreams doesn't walk up to you because you can't make someone fall in love with you or even be attracted to you.

When the right man is around the corner he will make his move. I have to admit; I actually approached my husband first.

Sometimes, being confident in yourself and not being afraid of rejection allows a man to see your true beauty whether he is attracted to you or not.

So I wouldn't completely say to rule out the approaching him first, however, if he does approach you, you got something special that he finds irresistible about you.

He calls you first. Remember back in high school when you would get the cute guy's number and call him obsessively? Well don't do that.

More than likely you got on the guys nerves and he eventually called the relationship quits. You want to make sure that he is really into you, so let him call you first. If you seem too desperate, then he can sense it. But if you play it cool and wait for him to dial your number then you know that he is still thinking about you and wanting to know more about you, hopefully.

Don't be fooled by jerks, and yes they are out there. They are the ones who say all the right things at all the right times, but all they want is to get into your pants. If during the first conversation, he starts asking what you are wearing, then know that he probably isn't planning on getting married to you.

But if he wants to know more about you and he is able to share some of his goals with you, then don't be afraid to take the relationship a step further.He wants you to be comfortable when you are with him.
m.
The first date or meeting with a new guy can be awkward if he is too touchy feely, too shy, or too weird. If you do not feel comfortable around him what makes him think that you are willing to stick around.

If a man is really into you and he is thinking about finding a wife, then he will want to make you as comfortable as possible in his presence. This may mean pulling out a chair for you, paying for dinner, having a nice subtle conversation, and keeping his hands to himself. If a man is touchy feely, then expect that he probably wants a sexual relationship and not a commitment. He doesn't rush you into sex.

Personally, I think that sex before marriage is wrong, however, I know that people feel differently about the subject than I do. But if he respects you he will not try to force you into getting in bed with him shortly after meeting him. You can tell if a man really wants to marry you if you tell him no sex before marriage, and he agrees and he stays. Some men can't help themselves and if there is no sex, then the relationship is doomed.

However, there are plenty of men who are really looking for a life partner, and if it means waiting to share that intimate moment with you after you tie the knot, then they will be more than happy to wait.

If he wants to marry you he will never want to try to take you out of your element and do things against your will. He wants to satisfy you and take care of you. He wants you to feel comfortable around him so that when he pops the question, you will say yes. It can be extremely uncomfortable for a man to constantly be pressuring you into doing something you don't want to do.

He doesn't rush to play house with you. Many couples make the mistake of playing house with one another. The man asks for his girlfriend to move in and they pretend as if they are married. She cooks, cleans, and she accepts the fact that he hasn't placed a ring on her finger. These types of relationships usually end up in destruction.

When a woman is willing to play house with a man she allows him to have the luxury of married life wit out the commitment and the luxury to still have a single life with in house lovin'. Some women want to feel loved so badly that they are willing to play house with a man. After many many years the man still will not pop the question and the woman still waits for the day when he is going to.

He should desire your presence. He may want you around all the time, but without the marriage commitment he understands that the relationship may fail. He is willing to wait to carry you over the threshold instead of letting you sleep in the bachelor pad.

He is always loyal and honest. He always tells you the truth. He never looks at other women. He adores you. These are ways to tell if he really loves you. If a man is constantly making up excuses as to why he didn't call you, or you suspect that he lies, then know that he is not marriage material.

If he is lying before marriage, what makes you think that he won't lie after marriage? The man that is serious about loving you will never want to disappoint you, and when he does he will be sincere and honest about the situation. He is afraid of losing you, and one lie or sign of dishonesty could make him lose it all.He proves that he can provide for you. He works, he has a home, and he shares with you. A man who is selfish will not make a good husband. A man who is greedy and always taking from you will not make a good husband.

The man that wants to marry you lets you know that he will provide for you and he proves that he can. If a man is playing video games all-day and he is steady asking you for money, then he probably will not be a good provider. But it he works a good job, he takes care of his responsibility and he is able to provide you with things you need, know that he has husband potential. He will love making sure you have a little money in your pocket (not talking about a sugar daddy), he will love to buy you new clothes when you need them, and he won't mind paying a bill or two for you.

This is because he truly loves you and he wants you to know that he can and he will take care of you when you become his wife.He talks about marriage with you. Men who are afraid of marriage will try to avoid it like a bad case of the flu. They will run away from the subject whenever you or someone else brings it up.

The man that wants to marry you may mention it first. He will let you know how many kids he plans on having and how his life isn't complete without a partner. He may say it often or get excited if you bring it up. He doesn't run from the idea of marriage because he has the same feelings as you about it.

He respects your parents. Getting past the parents can be a hard deed, however, it is not impossible. Even if your dad shows obvious signs that he doesn't like him, your man will still show respect to him.

He wants to prove to your parents that he is willing to take the next step with you and he doesn't want to disappoint you, so he tries to love your parents to keep you happy.He protects you. He never disrespects you, hits you, or curse at you.

He never lets anyone do those things to you either. He always has your back no matter what. I hope that God willing this article will give you a little insight on if a man is ready to make you his wife or not.

Top 10 Events That Bring a Husband and Wife Together

Renewing Vows Every Now & Then

These are the top 10 events that bring a husband and wife closer together during their married life. They are arranged chronologically from the writer’s experience and are mainly events and not activities.

More people end up getting married in the world, and throughout married life, couples experience the best and worse of times. They are as unpredictable as a first-time roller-coaster ride and may affect the bond between couples.

Below are 10 events in a couple's lifetime that they most likely will experience and strengthen their bond. Note that these are mainly events and not activities, and these have been arranged chronologically based on my own experience with my wife.

We are six years married, have gone through some of the events below and foresee the other events coming to our life together.

Moving In Day

This usually is tiring and exciting. It is where tastes mix and decisions, arrangements and negotiations are made. In the end, the apartment or house reflects the both of you, and you will always look back at this as Day One of married life.

Success and Achievements

Promotions, the establishment of a profitable business, that chosen stock rising, winning the championship, lottery or literally climbing a high mountain brings out the feeling of elation and the very first person one will surely look for and celebrate with is one's husband or wife.

Baby

Planning, the coming, arrival and taking care of the baby surely builds the bond further between couples. Here, they are immersed in new activities that involve the two of them with the baby. The baby is a living being representing the likes and features of the couple. The baby also plants in their heads that they should be together.

Major Acquisitions

Beach-front villa, new car, giant-screen TV, his and hers Rolexes, own house, a painting bought only for $10 but is worth $100,000 in the market, this list goes on forever in this consumer-driven environment we have nowadays. Like Success and Achievements, this gives couples a feeling of euphoria. This likewise generally follows Success and Achievements too, and hopefully, will not lead to Going Broke and Separated, which is not in this list, of course.

External Menace or Intimidation from Others

Rude relatives, neighbours, bosses or any other third party that confronts couples verbally or even physically brings forth their unity. Cavemen belonged to tribes and retaliate against other tribes that attack them. This is still the same in present-time even down to the basic partnership between a husband and wife. When there is a third party threat of any kind, expect the development of a tag-team. The caveman still dwells in each of us.

Calamities

Natural or man-made calamities affecting the safety of not just husbands and wives but the general populace for that matter are included here. We've had some super-typhoons so powerful they cut out power and levelled giant signboards and lamp-posts and sucked out the contents of rooms of high-rise buildings with windows left wide or slightly opened. Notice that the natural reaction to danger and even a very scary movie is for people to sit closer together. That is true also for husbands and wives when calamities strike town.

Trips

Even a simple road trip can bring arguing couples to a smile in the end. Trips, especially grand ones, are like adventures from point A to point B, which is some place far, exotic and beautiful in its own way. Most couples come back from a road trip feeling good as if it added spice to a mundane and routine-filled life.

Ailment

Lump on the breast, losing a limb, speech or visual impairment will worry one partner over another. People have the natural and basic reaction to take care of their loved ones when ailments befall them. This is a tender stage and certainly an event in married couples' lives.

Children Moving Out

This may be a sad or happy event for couples. Happy, if they have 10 children, I guess, and sad if it's the one and only child, a daughter even getting married. Despite how it feels, the event brings a husband and wife back to “just the two of us”. Both, however, are now more mature than when they were in Moving-In Day. They are probably retired also and will have more time to do whatever they like.

Death

Nearing death or death itself brings a husband and wife together the most. The writer of “A Ranger Born” details how he, a retired army ranger, and his wife were the closest when his wife was already nearing death and when he was taking care of her. The time before going to the afterlife and death itself, makes the husband or wife realize the value of his or her partner during his or her lifetime. “You don't realize what you have, until it's gone.”

In Closing: Enjoy Your Married Life

So go now and hug your husband or wife. We have a scare ourselves right now with an ailment… a lump. Her mother passed away when she was very young because of the big C. I am really worried and couldn't think coherently because the doctor's diagnosis is not out yet. I realize now more than ever how valuable she is to me and couldn't imagine of how life would be if it turned out to be some sort of life-threatening ailment. I hope not because it will be great to still experience Number Nine together.

"Interracial Marriages"

How to Succeed in an Interracial Marriage

Related Tags: marriage interracial beliefs traditions cultures

Step 1:Refuse to let what other people may say or think about interracial marriage bother you. As an interracial couple, you may be forced to deal with negative stereotypes associated with either of your cultures--or hostile or derogatory comments from other people in your community who do not understand your relationship. Remember that the things these people say cannot get in the way of the love you two share.

Step 2:Show respect for each other's cultures and family traditions before and during your marriage. Interracial couples often face rejection or stress from their own families because of traditional beliefs that people should marry only other people of the same cultural background. Regardless of whether this is an issue in your marriage, it's still important to remember to respect the beliefs and traditions of your partner's family--and, if possible, to find ways to bring your families closer together.

Step 3:Lay down boundaries regarding your marriage with any family members or friends who try to interfere. Though it's important to respect your family's beliefs, it's also necessary to defend your marriage to anyone who may try to change your mind about whether it is right or wrong to have an interracial marriage.

Step 4:Embrace the things that you and your partner have in common as well as your differences. The different parts of your racial backgrounds and cultures are likely to be some of the most enriching parts of your lives. Bringing these things together should prove to be even more fulfilling for both of you. Share any traditions or cultural beliefs that you consider most important with your partner as you build your life together.

Step 5:Remember that standing up to racism does not need to be an aggressive confrontation. This act can also be accomplished simply by making it clear that you will avoid interactions with someone who continues to be negative regarding your marriage. Firmly tell the person you will not spend time with anyone who expresses racist views.

Tips & Warnings

Examine all challenges that your marriage faces with an open mind. Should you have difficulties with your marriage, don't blame all problems on the interracial aspect of your relationship. Focusing too much on your racial differences will only lead to the same type of division and discrimination you would generally try avoid from others.

Why Do People Get Married?

Once, quite a lifetime ago it seems, I was voted one of myspace's Most Romantic Women in a blog contest held by the lovely Ms. B (wasn't it?). I tied with my once dear friend, and whom I will always call friend no matter what, "Moon Goddess Chandra."

When I was listed in that category, I couldn't understand how. Then people began to point out some of the romantic things I did but I still questioned it. It was a nice little perk and then I did realize, I DID act kind of romantic.

Yes, I can be romantic. I can be loving, kind, heart-felt, sincere, robustly, passionately romantic, but mostly, I end up being logical. I simply like answers based on grounded information. Unless of course it's metaphysical then I'm cool with that too.

So … while continuing to do Byron Katie's Work on the three words, as I was driven home in the cab tonight I was overcome with panic because my brain was completely empty of an answer to this question:

Why do people get married?

Once upon a time there was a reason right? And as a young girl, I was raised in the era where you married so your children would be "legitimate." Yah I blew that one. I was a trailblazer. Got comfortable with it too because there was no child who could have been wanted more except by another mother who felt the same.

By then I was taking care of 98% of the majority of the mature responsible issues in the relationship, household and our lives. No need to get married. In the end, no need to have him around because coupled with his lump on a log status, he was abusive. And a drug addict. And an alcoholic. And unemployed. A real groom to be.

Sadly, several years before when I truly wanted to be married to him, I prayed silently before my God that I vowed to love and honor him and that I saw him as my husband and no piece of paper could make it more so. Turns out I was just a nice piece of nawgahide with a money clip attached. Credit denied. Move along.

After he was gone I found myself single and dating and raising my son. I had less problems in my life when I knew I had no one at home to put my thumb in Chinese thumb screws everytime a responsible decision had to be made. Bills were paid. Gas never got shut off again. Electric stayed on. Food in the house.

Child, although having autism and other comorbid conditions, well, I was on top of that too as best I could be during that time frame since the assistance wasn't as available then as it is now. I was happy. Marriage didn't enter my mind. Why would it? I was doing it all.

Then comes "live in number 2." No words of love had been spoken between us until three months after he moved in. Our relationship was two years old by then. I was still young enough, and romantic enough to believe that marriage meant something. That it was the "ultimate payoff" of love.

And when he mentioned it, I actually allowed a little spark to come to life inside of me. And thought ... well what does that mean? I bet it will be amazing to share someone's name, to have someone love me so much. I supported his dreams to go back over the road. I did what I THOUGHT a good wifey did. Unfortunately, I learned that "living together" doesn't mean wifey or hubby to others.

I prayed that God would show me the way. I prayed that He would help me understand where this relationship was going since it seemed like 2 was going one way and I was … just there and definitely not walking the same path because I could never quite catch up with him or where his mind was.

I loved him with my entire heart, and once again prayed to God, asking him to bless our union and look with favor on us and please let this become a healthy balanced love relationship, not this detached arrangement it seemed to have become.

Let him see me, notice me and realize that his pain was my pain and his joy was my joy and vice versa. I even asked him to come back to church and find God with me again. I knew where He lived in me. It just seemed like He was missing in.

2. I wanted him to feel that beauty and know we could have love and binding through Him. What an ass I was. Turns out I guess all I turned out to be was the venting panel he needed to release all his animosity toward his ex. Because I'm pretty sure he wasn't seeing me or the vision I thought we'd both talked about so early on. When we loved one another.

No marriage there even though he knew that I was of a generation where I still felt like women were looked on as loose and hoes if they lived with a man without being married. Besides, I wanted another baby, and he wouldn't have one without being married. He held the ring, and wasn't giving it to me.

The same issues were reoccurring without a resolution and it really didn't seem like he was seeing what I was doing to make anything better. And besides, when you can't understand someone's child has autism that's just effed up. Ciao.

Once again I went back into my safe, protected, mind-frame. I'm single. Doin it all alone, which for some reason didn't feel so different than when I was in my relationships. No biggie. I'm mighty good at it by now. Been doing it for 20+ years.

When I was a young girl, until my first molestation and abuse, I believed marriage meant two people loved one another, had fun together, might even be friends, got married, bought a house, had babies together, and lived a quiet mediocre life with nice little family vacations planned.

Sure things happened but the people loved each other and got through it together. I THRIVED on that vision. Then the innocence died. But the old programming of marriage still stuck there for some reason.

I texted my friend Peabody tonight. I rarely text him simple questions like what is 1+1? Tonight's question was, "Why do people get married?" He responded, "You never ask the simple ones do you?" I replied I thought he'd be disappointed if I did lol.

And after getting home, I was looking for Pastor Jesse because I planned to write to him asking the same question but in more detail, after trying to work through answers with my beloved Michael. We're moving in that direction and there is no doubt I love him but i have questions that needs answers.

"Why do people get married? What benefits do they get from it? What are the perks that one gets from being a twosome instead of singleton? And it can't just be financial. I've had my heart broken twice realizing that the financial combining of homes, while it may make good financial sense, does NOT a marriage or good relationship make. Does it? When I was younger it meant children and a future filled with memories.

Now I have a beautiful son (and now I'm going through Empty Nest) and had hoped I'd have more children and while one day there will most likely be grandchildren, I need to know WHY people get married now? Women are just as capable if not more so of taking care of themselves now while single. Men don't do too bad of a job either while they remain single.

I vowed twice before God that I would always cherish the person, always allow room for him and I to grow, work to be a partnership and ladies and gentlemen, I've been b^mf>cked because they sure didn't feel the same way about me. God I was so naive. And stupid. I had studied ancient religions and other culture's ceremonies for marriage and to me, it didn't have to be before a priest but it had to be a sanctified and sacred moment!

How did people get to the point where living together just meant roommate with benefits? How did it get to the point where it meant, "Yah this works for now but eh, you're Ms./Mr. Right Now but I don't see it lasting forever"?

How did living with someone in the confines of a home, that's supposed to be place of love turned into sex in exchange for help paying the bills?

Where did the love go? Where did the future visions and prospects go? And if there are those that make living together work, and I do believe they can and do, what purpose does that staying together bring?

What purpose does marriage serve? I'll take any and all answers at this point. I have yet (until recently) to have any healthy relationship that could show me the benefits of two people being together, or what benefits being married to that person would offer.

Especially considering how well I took care of myself during relationships and after and what they had to offer that I couldn't give myself.

Drop in and give me your thoughts. I'm hoping Pastor Jesse and Peabody write back to me. We already know I have a hell of a time with visions of the future, hopes, dreams or goals, so for me, marriage is just like … a period at the end of a sentence.

The beauty and romance of it has been ruined for me over the years. Help me see what GOOD marriages or partnerships give to each other. I love Michael and I know over time he can undo most of what I learned over the years.

He is in a place where he is stuck helping ME to learn what a healthy relationship looks like, or how people who are truly partners act toward each other because frankly, I have NO CLUE. None.

Whatsoever. I've done it all on my own for so very long and I've already realized all the love I thought I was sharing was simply me giving it away with little sentiment in return.

How can two people know that they should come together and how do they create a life together with common dreams? Visions? Goals? And whatever ELSE the beauties of marriage holds that after 23 freakin years I have no IDEA ABOUT!

I'll be posting some of my research when I get it together. Love is all well and good, but it takes more than love to make a marriage work that much HAS to be true doesn't it?

AND as a bonus, if you don't know, just type I don't know. OR leave me a joke or a comic or a nice alcohol beverage recipe. It should be time for a BUTB soon.

"Marriage"

The Benefits of Marriage

Marriage is by all rights, a contract between two individuals. There are legal grounds to be gained by being married. Marriage in itself is considered a joy because it usually means that someone has fallen in love. This isn’t always the case. The benefits of marriage present themselves so strongly to some men or women that the alternative seems ridiculous. After all, how else can you get a tax break, enjoy health and dental and vision, and be received better by society as a whole by legally living with someone. In this day and age, living together is so common that people have nearly forgotten that sometimes getting married makes more sense, from a practical standpoint.

I am not a very pragmatic person. In fact, I am an idealist and a romantic. But some of the laws in the United States are simply so slanted toward negative results for unmarried women that simply running to the court house with your best friend can solve many problems. There are in fact several states that restrict physicians from assisting an unmarried woman in her quest for fertility help. This means the sale of sperm, the implantation of embryos, and even fertility treatments can not be administered to a woman living in one of these states if she is not legally married. Some would ask why a woman would want to get pregnant if she’s not married. It’s about choice. It’s about the state governing the body of a woman, not whether or not you agree with planned single parenthood.

Of course, there are other aspects of marriage that are equally or more beneficial that has little to do with getting pregnant. In some cases, marriage can mean the answer for expensive medical treatment or chronic medications that can cost upwards of a thousand dollars per month. This again, is a pragmatic view, and some will vehemently argue that marriage is sacred and that love should be the only reason for getting married. However, let’s be realistic. A man or a woman with a willing participant can save the taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars in subsidized medical care simply by getting hitched.

Marriage forms a bond, a union, so to speak that some people have trouble functioning without. There is a sense of stability in marriage that you can’t have any other way. There is the known understanding that you are in this deal fifty-fifty. All property is community property. I knew a gay man who once married his lover’s sister because he was dying. The deal was, in order to protect his rather engorged estate from children who had disowned him, the marriage would permit a legal bond between the three family members. The sister received everything by legal default and a will.

From there, she was able to dispense the appropriate funds, which turned out to be 75% of the estate to her brother once the estate was settled. Not everyone would agree with this method or feel that this is even an appropriate use of the marriage vows. However, when you’re looking at the benefits of marriage people have to realize that not all marriages are based on the obvious factor. If there were legal ways for all people to be sure their loved ones could be taken care of, marriages as such wouldn’t have to happen.

Almost all previously signed documentation can be voided is there is a marriage after the signing of the documents. That means wills, trusts, and the like can all be disrupted by a sudden marriage. This is often done on purpose as a method of thwarting already existing laws or it can be done by accident, not realizing that the second marriage just wiped out the children’s’ inheritance by default. Families are interesting living breathing organisms. It is amazing what one person in one family can do to another. The scale of kindness can be heart breaking while the scale of cruelty can be heart wrenching.

Among the benefits of marriage are the most obvious. Financial aspects always look better from a joint perspective than a single one. Unless, of course, one spouse works all the time while the other spouse spends all the time. The tax benefits alone are almost unfair. The combined incomes of two people can completely set the scale of income into a whole new tax bracket, and make life a lot more comfortable for both parties.

Marriage is a statement, regardless of the motivation. It clearly defines one’s role in the relationship. It says that there is commitment there, whether for money, love, or necessity. It tells the world that there are two people in the unit, and the unit needs to be respected as one. We still live in a society that acknowledges married couples as more “legitimate” than unwed couples living together. The list of benefits are long enough that for most people, if the opportunity presents itself, it should be seriously considered as an improvement in life. And for many, this option has proven to be a literal life saver.