Princess's Prince

MAN IN A WOMAN'S LIFE

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare. With that as his mission, he began searching for the perfect woman.

Shortly thereafter, he met a farmer who had three stunningly gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. He explained his mission to the farmer, asking permission to marry one of them.

The farmer simply replied, "They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want." So the man took the first daughter out on a date.

The next day, the farmer asked the man for his opinion.

"Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice... pigeon-toed. "

The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls. So the man took the second daughter out on a date.

The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.

"Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice... cross-eyed."

The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might get better. So he did.

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect! She's the one I want to marry!" and they were married right away.

Months later, a baby was born. When the man visited the nursery, he was horrified! The baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine.

He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

"Well," explained the farmer. "She was just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice... pregnant when you met her."

--
all the best :)

"WOMAN"

WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE
Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.


Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain;
to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply

Because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your undying support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this......

What makes a guy decide to marry?

I know this is a broad question that may not be easy to answer in full detail, but little bits of 'truth' would be enlightening, and even better since they're concise.This is 2008, and seriously, people I know personally are getting married left and right (this has not happened before, either that or I'm blind?!). There'd be 4 marriages this year for my friends (and to think I don't have THAT many..)

So, to cut to the chase, why do some people marry early, and some marry late, or date without marrying at all?I know this may be assuming that the guy makes all the marriage decisions, which ain't the case always, but being one-half of the couple duo, on the female side, I'm curious as to what guys think regarding marriage.

In essence: What makes a marriage-minded man and a bachelor-or-in-a-relationship-type man? This puzzles me, because I know 2 of my friends already married at 23-24, with their husbands not really much older.So, is it the girl that makes men decide to marry, or is it their innate "marrying" mechanism activating?

Men in general get bored easily & wants continuous adventure.They would want someone who could cope up with their energy.Someone would stimulate them intellectually,sexually,emotionally,physically & spiritually.Men wants a woman who will keep them guessing someone who is a little bit naugthy & mysterious.

Marriage trends go in waves, and it's peaking at it's crest once again. I swear, weddings are spreading like viruses! Everywhere you turn, someone is engaged, or a wedding commercial is on TV. I'll be honest here. The truth is, some men are more likely to settle down than others. Sure, you have your "Romeo and Juliette" couples from high school, but the fact is that most people are not easily lucky in love.

You may find that "soul mate", but most of us find a compatible partner that we happen to love. I'll exclude baby daddy dramas, lonely military men, friends turned lovers, and shotgun weddings for this next part. I'm talking about what it takes to find a husband with a blank slate.The main factor for men in deciding to marry is first readiness, second is YOU.

A man wanting to marry usually is:

-Got a good job-Done school and has a career.
-Has his own home
-Has had time to figure out what he wants in life, and for some, has "sowed" his oats.
-Religious men and men from certain cultures are often more likely to marry or want to marry sooner.
-Has friends that are married or engaged.

A man wanting to marry YOU usually wants you to be or have:

-Attractive, fit, and well kept.
-Educated or in school, and/or employed with career goals.
-Good personality.
-Someone who will get along with his family and friends.
-Similar social background, beliefs, and interests.
-Someone who respects themselves.
-Someone who will be a good wife and mom (in general, since different guys have different ideas of what this is).
-High sex drive, or willingness for lots of sex (if still a virgin and waiting until marriage).
-Some men prefer virgins, some prefer experience, some care less.

Most men just want a sensual and willing partner.Bottom line: Your man has to *be ready* to commit, and you have to have what he is looking for.

A man will marry when he knows that his ready and has found the one true person he knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with, sometimes thats not the case, sometimes the man is ready and the woman is the one that does not want to commit or the other way around and thats normal it happens.

A man will know the rigth time for him to setlle down & get married if he will meet the woman who will steal his heart and he knows deep down that no matter what else happens in his life, he would want that person to be in his life until the end. That's how I figured it out, and I guess I was raised that marriage is the final showing of commitment, other than being faithful for the rest of his life. Yet I believe living with someone first is the only true test as to how you actually get along with that person.

Why Do People Get Married?

Once, quite a lifetime ago it seems, I was voted one of myspace's Most Romantic Women in a blog contest held by the lovely Ms. B (wasn't it?). I tied with my once dear friend, and whom I will always call friend no matter what, "Moon Goddess Chandra."

When I was listed in that category, I couldn't understand how. Then people began to point out some of the romantic things I did but I still questioned it. It was a nice little perk and then I did realize, I DID act kind of romantic.

Yes, I can be romantic. I can be loving, kind, heart-felt, sincere, robustly, passionately romantic, but mostly, I end up being logical. I simply like answers based on grounded information. Unless of course it's metaphysical then I'm cool with that too.

So … while continuing to do Byron Katie's Work on the three words, as I was driven home in the cab tonight I was overcome with panic because my brain was completely empty of an answer to this question:

Why do people get married?

Once upon a time there was a reason right? And as a young girl, I was raised in the era where you married so your children would be "legitimate." Yah I blew that one. I was a trailblazer. Got comfortable with it too because there was no child who could have been wanted more except by another mother who felt the same.

By then I was taking care of 98% of the majority of the mature responsible issues in the relationship, household and our lives. No need to get married. In the end, no need to have him around because coupled with his lump on a log status, he was abusive. And a drug addict. And an alcoholic. And unemployed. A real groom to be.

Sadly, several years before when I truly wanted to be married to him, I prayed silently before my God that I vowed to love and honor him and that I saw him as my husband and no piece of paper could make it more so. Turns out I was just a nice piece of nawgahide with a money clip attached. Credit denied. Move along.

After he was gone I found myself single and dating and raising my son. I had less problems in my life when I knew I had no one at home to put my thumb in Chinese thumb screws everytime a responsible decision had to be made. Bills were paid. Gas never got shut off again. Electric stayed on. Food in the house.

Child, although having autism and other comorbid conditions, well, I was on top of that too as best I could be during that time frame since the assistance wasn't as available then as it is now. I was happy. Marriage didn't enter my mind. Why would it? I was doing it all.

Then comes "live in number 2." No words of love had been spoken between us until three months after he moved in. Our relationship was two years old by then. I was still young enough, and romantic enough to believe that marriage meant something. That it was the "ultimate payoff" of love.

And when he mentioned it, I actually allowed a little spark to come to life inside of me. And thought ... well what does that mean? I bet it will be amazing to share someone's name, to have someone love me so much. I supported his dreams to go back over the road. I did what I THOUGHT a good wifey did. Unfortunately, I learned that "living together" doesn't mean wifey or hubby to others.

I prayed that God would show me the way. I prayed that He would help me understand where this relationship was going since it seemed like 2 was going one way and I was … just there and definitely not walking the same path because I could never quite catch up with him or where his mind was.

I loved him with my entire heart, and once again prayed to God, asking him to bless our union and look with favor on us and please let this become a healthy balanced love relationship, not this detached arrangement it seemed to have become.

Let him see me, notice me and realize that his pain was my pain and his joy was my joy and vice versa. I even asked him to come back to church and find God with me again. I knew where He lived in me. It just seemed like He was missing in.

2. I wanted him to feel that beauty and know we could have love and binding through Him. What an ass I was. Turns out I guess all I turned out to be was the venting panel he needed to release all his animosity toward his ex. Because I'm pretty sure he wasn't seeing me or the vision I thought we'd both talked about so early on. When we loved one another.

No marriage there even though he knew that I was of a generation where I still felt like women were looked on as loose and hoes if they lived with a man without being married. Besides, I wanted another baby, and he wouldn't have one without being married. He held the ring, and wasn't giving it to me.

The same issues were reoccurring without a resolution and it really didn't seem like he was seeing what I was doing to make anything better. And besides, when you can't understand someone's child has autism that's just effed up. Ciao.

Once again I went back into my safe, protected, mind-frame. I'm single. Doin it all alone, which for some reason didn't feel so different than when I was in my relationships. No biggie. I'm mighty good at it by now. Been doing it for 20+ years.

When I was a young girl, until my first molestation and abuse, I believed marriage meant two people loved one another, had fun together, might even be friends, got married, bought a house, had babies together, and lived a quiet mediocre life with nice little family vacations planned.

Sure things happened but the people loved each other and got through it together. I THRIVED on that vision. Then the innocence died. But the old programming of marriage still stuck there for some reason.

I texted my friend Peabody tonight. I rarely text him simple questions like what is 1+1? Tonight's question was, "Why do people get married?" He responded, "You never ask the simple ones do you?" I replied I thought he'd be disappointed if I did lol.

And after getting home, I was looking for Pastor Jesse because I planned to write to him asking the same question but in more detail, after trying to work through answers with my beloved Michael. We're moving in that direction and there is no doubt I love him but i have questions that needs answers.

"Why do people get married? What benefits do they get from it? What are the perks that one gets from being a twosome instead of singleton? And it can't just be financial. I've had my heart broken twice realizing that the financial combining of homes, while it may make good financial sense, does NOT a marriage or good relationship make. Does it? When I was younger it meant children and a future filled with memories.

Now I have a beautiful son (and now I'm going through Empty Nest) and had hoped I'd have more children and while one day there will most likely be grandchildren, I need to know WHY people get married now? Women are just as capable if not more so of taking care of themselves now while single. Men don't do too bad of a job either while they remain single.

I vowed twice before God that I would always cherish the person, always allow room for him and I to grow, work to be a partnership and ladies and gentlemen, I've been b^mf>cked because they sure didn't feel the same way about me. God I was so naive. And stupid. I had studied ancient religions and other culture's ceremonies for marriage and to me, it didn't have to be before a priest but it had to be a sanctified and sacred moment!

How did people get to the point where living together just meant roommate with benefits? How did it get to the point where it meant, "Yah this works for now but eh, you're Ms./Mr. Right Now but I don't see it lasting forever"?

How did living with someone in the confines of a home, that's supposed to be place of love turned into sex in exchange for help paying the bills?

Where did the love go? Where did the future visions and prospects go? And if there are those that make living together work, and I do believe they can and do, what purpose does that staying together bring?

What purpose does marriage serve? I'll take any and all answers at this point. I have yet (until recently) to have any healthy relationship that could show me the benefits of two people being together, or what benefits being married to that person would offer.

Especially considering how well I took care of myself during relationships and after and what they had to offer that I couldn't give myself.

Drop in and give me your thoughts. I'm hoping Pastor Jesse and Peabody write back to me. We already know I have a hell of a time with visions of the future, hopes, dreams or goals, so for me, marriage is just like … a period at the end of a sentence.

The beauty and romance of it has been ruined for me over the years. Help me see what GOOD marriages or partnerships give to each other. I love Michael and I know over time he can undo most of what I learned over the years.

He is in a place where he is stuck helping ME to learn what a healthy relationship looks like, or how people who are truly partners act toward each other because frankly, I have NO CLUE. None.

Whatsoever. I've done it all on my own for so very long and I've already realized all the love I thought I was sharing was simply me giving it away with little sentiment in return.

How can two people know that they should come together and how do they create a life together with common dreams? Visions? Goals? And whatever ELSE the beauties of marriage holds that after 23 freakin years I have no IDEA ABOUT!

I'll be posting some of my research when I get it together. Love is all well and good, but it takes more than love to make a marriage work that much HAS to be true doesn't it?

AND as a bonus, if you don't know, just type I don't know. OR leave me a joke or a comic or a nice alcohol beverage recipe. It should be time for a BUTB soon.

"Marriage"

The Benefits of Marriage

Marriage is by all rights, a contract between two individuals. There are legal grounds to be gained by being married. Marriage in itself is considered a joy because it usually means that someone has fallen in love. This isn’t always the case. The benefits of marriage present themselves so strongly to some men or women that the alternative seems ridiculous. After all, how else can you get a tax break, enjoy health and dental and vision, and be received better by society as a whole by legally living with someone. In this day and age, living together is so common that people have nearly forgotten that sometimes getting married makes more sense, from a practical standpoint.

I am not a very pragmatic person. In fact, I am an idealist and a romantic. But some of the laws in the United States are simply so slanted toward negative results for unmarried women that simply running to the court house with your best friend can solve many problems. There are in fact several states that restrict physicians from assisting an unmarried woman in her quest for fertility help. This means the sale of sperm, the implantation of embryos, and even fertility treatments can not be administered to a woman living in one of these states if she is not legally married. Some would ask why a woman would want to get pregnant if she’s not married. It’s about choice. It’s about the state governing the body of a woman, not whether or not you agree with planned single parenthood.

Of course, there are other aspects of marriage that are equally or more beneficial that has little to do with getting pregnant. In some cases, marriage can mean the answer for expensive medical treatment or chronic medications that can cost upwards of a thousand dollars per month. This again, is a pragmatic view, and some will vehemently argue that marriage is sacred and that love should be the only reason for getting married. However, let’s be realistic. A man or a woman with a willing participant can save the taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars in subsidized medical care simply by getting hitched.

Marriage forms a bond, a union, so to speak that some people have trouble functioning without. There is a sense of stability in marriage that you can’t have any other way. There is the known understanding that you are in this deal fifty-fifty. All property is community property. I knew a gay man who once married his lover’s sister because he was dying. The deal was, in order to protect his rather engorged estate from children who had disowned him, the marriage would permit a legal bond between the three family members. The sister received everything by legal default and a will.

From there, she was able to dispense the appropriate funds, which turned out to be 75% of the estate to her brother once the estate was settled. Not everyone would agree with this method or feel that this is even an appropriate use of the marriage vows. However, when you’re looking at the benefits of marriage people have to realize that not all marriages are based on the obvious factor. If there were legal ways for all people to be sure their loved ones could be taken care of, marriages as such wouldn’t have to happen.

Almost all previously signed documentation can be voided is there is a marriage after the signing of the documents. That means wills, trusts, and the like can all be disrupted by a sudden marriage. This is often done on purpose as a method of thwarting already existing laws or it can be done by accident, not realizing that the second marriage just wiped out the children’s’ inheritance by default. Families are interesting living breathing organisms. It is amazing what one person in one family can do to another. The scale of kindness can be heart breaking while the scale of cruelty can be heart wrenching.

Among the benefits of marriage are the most obvious. Financial aspects always look better from a joint perspective than a single one. Unless, of course, one spouse works all the time while the other spouse spends all the time. The tax benefits alone are almost unfair. The combined incomes of two people can completely set the scale of income into a whole new tax bracket, and make life a lot more comfortable for both parties.

Marriage is a statement, regardless of the motivation. It clearly defines one’s role in the relationship. It says that there is commitment there, whether for money, love, or necessity. It tells the world that there are two people in the unit, and the unit needs to be respected as one. We still live in a society that acknowledges married couples as more “legitimate” than unwed couples living together. The list of benefits are long enough that for most people, if the opportunity presents itself, it should be seriously considered as an improvement in life. And for many, this option has proven to be a literal life saver.

"About Arranged Marriages"

I respect the rituals & belief of other tribes regarding arranged marriages but in my own opinion this should not continue from generation to generation bec. once you allow someone to decide for your future like marriages that is considered to be the major turning point in our lives should not be manipulated by other people even this includes our parents.I believe that even they are the ones who brought up their children still they have no right to decide for someone's future they can only give suggestion but choosing the partners for their children are over the board.No one has the right to interfere in making personal decisions especially the delicate ones.

Lets try to analyze & evaluate the reasons why some culture & races continue to practiced the belief that the elderlies of their clan are the ones who has the authority to choose the future groom/bride of children:

Then if we need compare the reasoning of both parties that are pro- arranged marriages & anti arranged marriages.If bothe side made a clear explanation of their beliefs then that is the time to weigh things & come up with your own conclusion whether is it right or wrong to have fixed marriages.

What side of the fence you’re in affects your point of view regarding the advantages and disadvantages of arranged marriages. Perhaps there are only advantages. Or no advantage at all. Your cultural upbringing and religious convictions are strong determinants of where you stand on this issue.

But for argument’s sake, why don’t we take a look at both sides of the coin? But before we do, we need to make it clear that arranged marriages may or may not be forced. In fact these days, more and more arranged marriages are premised on mutually consenting adults. Even people who pledge allegiance to the Islamic faith know that marrying an individual is possible only if they both like each other. Contrary to popular belief, Muslims believe that the happiness of both spouses is of paramount importance.

Advantages of Arranged Marriages

If we leave the west for a few days and transplant ourselves into any culture that promotes arranged marriages, we will, in time, realize the logic behind this practice and appreciate the reasons why they work. Some of those reasons can be attributed to the wisdom of elders. Because they raised and cared for their children, they instinctively know what’s best for their children, which includes the decision to select a life partner.

1. Risk of incompatability is diminished

Arranged marriages presuppose that two people are perfectly matched because they belong to the same culture, share the same religious upbringing, speak the same language, and raised in more or less the same socio-economic class. These identical backgrounds make it easier for the couple to communicate with each other and understand where each “is coming from.” Decisions in the upbringing of future children and their education leave little room for disparities in their thinking because of this “likeness.”

2. Idea of divorcing is unthinkable

This is another acknowledged advantage of arranged marriages. Given that the man and woman come from a similar background and therefore share the same views of marriage and family, the chance of divorcing due to irreconcilable differences is not as strong as in western cultures.

Note that it is not so much the arranged marriage per se that reduces the likelihood of divorce. As we discussed in another article, most arranged marriages no longer trigger a negative reaction because a good number of them are not forced. Parents who arrange marriages are fully aware that their children can always refuse a selected partner, in which case they simply look for another suitable partner. The input from the future groom and bride carries weight. The combination, therefore, of the parents’ wisdom and consent of the child would lead to a happier union so divorce would be unlikely.

India is the perfect example of a society where arranged marriages are still the norm and where the divorce rate is very low.

3. Extended family support has its benefits

In traditional societies, spouses sometimes live with the parents or live in the same housing compound. In times of difficulty, the couple can count on the help of their parents and in-laws for physical, emotional and financial support. When the children are born and both spouses work, finding adequate babysitters is a non-issue because the grandparents pitch in the care and nurturing of the children. The children are therefore supervised by close family members instead of by complete strangers, making them comfortable because they live in an atmosphere that they know well. Needless to add, when the couple has arguments, well-meaning elders can step in and offer advice and “arbitration” sessions.

Disadvantages of Arranged Marriages

For those who learn that arranged marriages are not necessarily forced, they adopt a more tolerant attitude towards this practice. One reason for this tolerance is that arranged marriages are a cultural trademark and should not be judged using western standards. If those who marry believe it’s “no big deal” to have their marriages arranged because it is a way of life they are accustomed to, then why should outsiders try to convince them otherwise? It’s not as if they’re being dragged into the marriage against their will or being groomed as slaves.

Nevertheless, for the sake of argument, here are some disadvantages of arranged marriages:

1. Inability to make up one’s own mind

When marriages are arranged by elders or parents, this does not encourage spouses to make up their own mind about who to marry. Instead of dating and meeting people and comparing them against one’s ideals, they leave that part of the work to someone else. Should either spouse end up unhappy after being married a few years, it can be very tempting to blame one’s parents for making an unsuitable choice.

2. Love takes second priority

“Decide with your head and not with your heart” is what parents tell their children. This philosophy tends to put love in the back burner. For people who live in societies where arranged marriages are the practice, they are convinced that if they don’t feel any passionate love when the marriage takes place, love will bloom eventually. It is more important to consider the social and economic viability of the marriage rather than put romantic love at the forefront – which will fade anyway because romantic love is at best a superficial feeling.

3. Interferance from extended family

While there are benefits to having one’s extended family close by who can offer support when needed, this proximity has pitfalls. For some Muslims and others who have, in particular, been living in the west for a long time, may find this closeness a little awkward and uncomfortable. Some marital arguments and conflicts are settled better when only the spouses are involved. When the in-laws interfere and impose their views, this can cause stress to the marriage.

"Conversation"

A Conversation With My Wife
AM for everyone

They have said that marriage is a very long conversation with your wife. It is a long series of conversations that will lead to many things. It will lead to a better communications and deeper understanding of our loved ones. It is an exchange of different opinions and struggles so that our words will eventually be followed. It is a long series of exchange of sweet nothings that will lead to intimacy. Until then we will be used to the everyday conversation with our partner in life. And we are not running out of ideas.

They say that is the very essence of love and marriage; good communication. As long as we understand our husband or wife we are indeed in good marriage. As long as we would like to talk to her or him about everything our family will continuously flourished. We will share the same dreams for our children, and we will commit to the same binding that as long as we live we will talk and care for each other. And when nothing has to say our gestures will replace as if he or she is really our better half.

Even though I am not married now, maybe I had many conversations with my “wife”. I may not know it but she is the one I have talk to “yesterdays” or “todays”. Maybe we exchange opinions about everything that matters. Maybe she is just right there but not yet discovered since my world is preoccupied by those distractive environments that blocked our real communication. I may not know her but I think I can feel her presence and maybe someday we will share the same house doing the same conversations that I wished someone I could talk to for the rest of my life.

I don’t know but maybe I am talking to you.

How to Marry the Man of Your Choice

How to Marry the Man of Your Choice

Before there was The Rules, there was How to Marry the Man of Your Choice, filled with proven strategies that helped thousands of "nice" women get to the altar. Now completely updated to lead a new generation down the aisle, this timeless yet thoroughly modern guide shares the successful tactics used by other singles (including the author, who took her own advice and, at the age of 42, married the man of her choice), and reveals:

• The top 20 places to meet more than a few good men (hint: bars are not among them!)
• The keys to male behavior and how to use them to your advantage
• The 50 crucial questions every woman should be asking her man-and herself
• How to interview a man for the job of husband before you audition for the job of wife
• The best ways to dress for your body type and age
• How to recognize love when it happens
• How to enhance and maintain your relationship with the man of your choice
• How to defuse "dastardly acts"-male, and sometimes female, behavior that can sabotage a relationship on its way to the altar.

So forget the myth that you can't find love when you're looking for it. Complete with special sections on Internet dating, second marriages, stepchildren, and advice on living together, this strategy-packed guide is both fun and very, very effective.

The more you know about men in general, the easier it will be to learn about individual men. The more you know how men think and behave, the more success you'll have with the men you meet. There are three keys to male behavior:

The typical man has been predominantly influenced by women during his formative years. As a result, he has predictable reactions to women.

A man bases his sense of sexual worth and acceptance as a male on his teenage experiences. He carries that sexual acceptance or rejection to the grave.

The male ego is enormous, but eggshell-fragile. Learn about the male ego. Your knowledge of his ego is one of the best tools for leading the man of your choice into a long-term relationship.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

Is men's behavior a mystery to you? Here's the three-step process to unlocking this mystery and using it to your advantage:

Learn about usual male behavior.

Use this knowledge to predict the behavior of the men you meet.

Use a man's own behavior as a means of leading him into a long-term relationship with you.

WHY MEN ACT THE WAY THEY DO

Males are under the authority and guidance of females from the beginning. They are born of woman and are helpless from birth until years later. From his earliest moments, the young boy is forced into behavior that pleases his mother, female relatives, and female teachers. Each one has a turn at subjecting the boy to her ideas of acceptable behavior, demeanor, and thoughts. As a youngster, he is dependent on his mother and other female relatives for his comfort and survival.
He remains dependent on women for much of his comfort and survival throughout his life.
Schooling generally is painful for the boy. His female teachers embarrass him with their authority, his subjugation to them, and his mental limitations. His female classmates impress him with their maturity and perhaps faster understanding of the classwork.

If the boy rebels, a principal dictates that his teachers, who are likely to be mostly female, place the boy under their greater control. Because of the boy's slower physical development, female classmates usually scorn him until they reach puberty. The girls can do so freely, since at that age they don't need these boys sexually. This type of intense and prolonged conditioning is hard for these boys to overcome, even when they mature.

Puberty

The male-female relationship begins to change at puberty. Girls at adolescence begin to experience sexual curiosity and desire. They start competing with each other for the attention and affection of the more desirable boys.

Adolescent males, on the other hand, are supposed to surmount their years of conditioning to subservient childhood status by nature alone. The boy is expected to become the sexual initiator. Older or faster-maturing boys in his class cause the lad to declare his emancipation from female control. These boys call the less mature youth a sissy or a mommy's boy if women continue to dominate his life. Yet these same women despise this fellow if they continue to dominate him once he becomes an adult.

His Teenage Years

The teenage years are called the formative years. Most boys feel particularly awkward and unattractive in the early teenage years. His height increases rapidly in an ungainly manner. His face is filled with pimples, and braces cover his teeth. His self-image is likely to be low because girls reject his advances. The male develops his self-image at precisely this period.

His acceptability and his acceptance among females are at their lowest. Yet it's at this time in his life that he needs female companionship the most, as sexuality begins and reaches its peak. This sharp disparity between the male's needs and his actual relationships gives the male a negative self-image.

As a survival technique, the man asserts that he is tough, invincible, and unique. The man develops his ego in part because of his rapid increase in strength and height. His ego is largely a facade. His ego is eggshell-fragile because it is self-generated.

Dating

Dating is cruel to both men and women. Consider the following: Men with high sex drives most often have unfulfilled sexual needs. Consequently, these men have especially negative selfimages. Such a man suffers most when women reject him. His sensitivity to rejection causes him a horrible predicament. He can't hide his drive; nor can he afford to spend his time dating a woman without achieving sexual satisfaction. Yet women often view his sexual aggression as an affront to their dignity. He wants her, but she'll scorn him as a boor or worse.

A woman is often more receptive to men who are well mannered and polite, men who go through life with a minimum level of hormonal disruption and conform to society's mores. But these men are often those who lack sexual interest in women. These men tend to have low sex drives and a lower level of unfulfilled needs. These men suffer less during their teenage years. As adults, these men often appear gentlemanly and patient in initiating a sexual encounter. A woman may want such a man, but then puzzle over his lack of sexual interest in her.

Reversing of Dating Fortune

Females do well in their early years for three reasons:

The higher male birthrate, which increases the demand for females for pairing.
The higher male sex drive at that age bracket.
The acceptability in our society for young women to date men somewhat older than themselves.
These factors give the man a low self-image and give the woman a high self-image. But these self-images become increasingly inappropriate as the individuals mature.

In fact, these selfimages will hinder relationships in the future unless women and men correct them. The situation reverses as time goes on because of three factors:

Women outlive men.
Women's sex drives increase later than men's.
Women face increasing competition from younger women. Women are well advised to understand these facts. Their teenage years are behind them, and so is the attention that young men paid to them.

Rites of Passage to Adulthood

When does adulthood occur? Often it's at the moment of getting the car keys, because of the freedom that a car provides. The car is the youth's first kingdom. With his car, a youth controls where he wants to be and with whom, and his degree of privacy. His car may be as important to him as the family home is to his parents. The car is a status symbol that represents power, money, prestige, and independence, and buttresses the youth's self-esteem. The fellow who lacked a car in his formative years is going to be quite a different person from the guy who had wheels as a young man. Chances are that the carless youth is burdened with even lower self-esteem.

As a rule of thumb, whatever the man lacked or thought he lacked in his formative years, he will seek during the rest of his life. If the boy could not afford to dress as well as his friends, as an adult he will strive for an expensive wardrobe. Conversely, if the boy had more than adequate clothes, as a man he won't be particularly concerned about clothing.

Familiarities and Fantasies

Women often have a very difficult time unshackling themselves from the attitude of scorn they felt toward the men whom they first knew as youngsters. It's rare that a woman marries a man she knew at that age. Even if a woman marries someone she grew up with, they were probably apart during their formative years.

On an Israeli kibbutz, the parents are particularly eager for their youngsters to grow up together and be familiar with each other from youth. These parents put their youngsters together so that they can marry more wisely. Surprisingly, the parents find that these close childhood friends rarely wed. These youngsters know each other's weaknesses. They aren't impressed with each other's facades. We must marry strangers, for only strangers appear to measure up to our illusions.

WHAT IS A MAN?

Men generally behave in a consistent manner and share similar attitudes. Below, you'll find a list of some of these characteristics; the more typical the man, the more these general guides will apply to him. Not every characteristic applies to every man, but most will apply to most men. After all, the conventional male has been conditioned to certain conduct and behavior. As an adult man, he has consistent thought patterns and a stable self-image that make his behavior predictable. His self-image results from what others have said to him over the years, how they have acted toward him, and the limited freedom he has managed to achieve.

Depending on how closely your man fits the male pattern, here's what you can expect:

• He is a small boy at heart.
• He has a public facade that differs from his natural behavior.
• He inherently prefers a good marriage to being single.
• He is conditioned to obey women, starting with his mother.
• He will enjoy being led into marriage, except by foul and dastardly acts.
• He is polygamous by nature, but he learns to be monogamous by conditioning.
• He is very possessive about his mate and will extend himself considerably to keep her.
• He will attempt to follow the mores and the laws of the society in which he lives.
• He will follow social customs of his community.
• He is likely to believe in a higher power.
• He believes that he is inferior in many ways to other men.
• He will work to earn a living.
• His views follow popular notions.
• He likes sports-participating, watching, or both.
• He is not likely to believe in astrology or in fortune-telling.
• He wants and desires to be thought of as a lover.
• When ill, he will seek care from a woman who loves him.
• He usually will hold himself out as being better than his coworkers or peers, even when he is equal or lower in stature or achievement.
• He is slightly braver than his mate, and will defend her against physical attacks by others.
• Sooner or later, he wants children.
• He believes that he is special or unique.
• He will marry a woman only if she recognizes that he is special or unique.
• He expects more praise than criticism, but does expect both.
• He enjoys talking about himself.
• He expects convenient sex in marriage; in fact, it may be a principal reason he marries.

You can better anticipate a man's actions by learning these general features of male behavior. If a man says something that contradicts these attributes-say, that he will never marry-it may be wise to disregard his words. If most of the above statements apply to a man, he is likely to be available for marriage-unless he's married already.

A particular man will rarely have every single one of these typical attitudes. Trust that your fellow has normal behavior unless you have clear and convincing evidence to the contrary. Your man is likely to be as similar to other men, and as distinct from them, as you are similar to and yet distinct from other women as a group.

Your Man as an Individual

You might not know what behavior you can expect from a man in a specific situation. If his actions offend you because they are so different from the typical man's, he usually won't hold your response against you for long. He should understand that your reaction is a normal one. If you express ideas that he doesn't share, a common reaction on his part is to attempt to convince you of the merits of his beliefs so that you'll accept or understand him.

Determine how your man deviates from "typical" conduct by carefully observing his behavior and his choice of friends and attitudes.

For example, if your man is a nudist, he obviously has scorned society's taboos on nudity. What you then must deal with is whether you could live with or become a nudist. If your man is an atheist, could you bring up children without religious values? How much does he care what others think of him socially? Could you love him if he insists on always expressing his thoughts even if it could start a public rift or family fight? Would you want this man to be your husband?

IDEAL MATES

Our society has rules that run contrary to nature. The typical female's ideal of what she wants in a man is vastly different from the actual men she meets. Her dream man is likely to be a combination of father image, movie idol, and a character out of novels. In many instances, not just in husband hunting, people do not know what they really want. One woman had owned many homes because her husband was a contractor. She decided to have her husband build her an ideal house comprising all the features she liked best in each of the houses she had owned. The outcome was a horror, even to her, because the ideas clashed.

Chances are that if you meet your ideal mate or a better man than you could imagine, you would not truly want him for marriage! Sit down and make yourself a checklist of the characteristics you want in a man. Then list the positive and negative effects each characteristic would have on you. Think carefully about what you want or need so that your list is realistic.

You might be seeking Tony's ability to entertain, David's high sex drive, and Chuck's dedication to one woman all rolled up into your next guy. In fact, while Tony does enjoy entertaining, this might mean he'd rather be hosting a party than having a quiet cup of coffee with you discussing your private lives. Likewise, David's high sex drive can mean that he is attracted to many women, not dedicated to only one. Chuck's dedication to one woman may mean that his sex drive is on the low side, and one woman is all he can handle.

Evaluate the characteristics you insist upon in a man, then double-check the downside of each and how much will it bother you. Confirm that this is what you want in a man before you shop for one.

"How To Keep A Happy Marriage"

6 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

1. Be each other's support system. You go through many things in a lifetime. It helps to know there is someone to help you shoulder the hard times. When your partner comes to you or needs an encouraging word, give it to them. Your vote of confidence can do wonders for your partner and in turn better your relationship.

2. Be able to compromise. By now we should all agree that people can't always have their own way. Applying the art of compromise is a healthy solution to settling a dis-agreement. Be willing to look for new avenues for exchange in order to make things feel fair to your partner. You might try a back rub in exchange for dish washing duty or quiet time together in exchange for a guy's night out. Compromising can help you turn your differrences into new ways to discover each other.

3. Express your love in a variety of ways. Don't just say it; show it. Don't just show it; say it. In other words, find more than one way to express your affection for your partner. Variety is the spice that keeps a marriage together. Leave a love note under your partner's pillow. Write "I love you" in lipstick on the mirror. Hide a rose on your partner's car seat. Stop and give your partner a very unexpected weak-in-the-knees kiss. Mail a hand-written love letter. Avoid falling into a boredom rut by continually striving to try and do new things together.

4. Respect each other's individuality. Encourage your partner to participate in individual interests they may have. In fact, take that encouragement a step further and occasionally join your partner in their favorite past time. You'll be showing your partner that you not only understand who they are, but that you love them exactly how they are as well.

5. Be kind and considerate to each other. This may seem like a given, but how many times have you snapped at your partner under stress, or made an unnecessary remark? Words and the tone in which they're used leave a lasting imprint. You can use this to make your couple memories something you will happily look back upon…or not. Long-term married couples make kindness and respect toward their partner a crucial part of their daily lives.

6. Exploit each other strengths, not weaknesses. Think of yourselves as a team. Together you are going to try and accomplish many things from buying a house, bettering your careers, raising children and more. If you spend your time nit-picking each other about what you're doing wrong, you're wasting valuable effort that could be put towards making your dreams come true. If you were to encourage a group of employees, you wouldn't tell them how horrible they are doing. You would start with positive, motivating statements. Learn to incorporate this towards each other. Find where each other's strengths are and use them to your ability. One of you may be a more sales type .

"Eternal Vows"

" The Wedding "

I have never seized to unlock
the vessel of my faith, nor
unravel the demented gaze.

About to affirm a Sanctus
vow of eternity, trudging
ceremoniously to a certain
and decisive aisle.

Staring eye to eye to a
valiant knight of the
hideous Athena waiting
before the templar.

Such momentum radiates a
heavenly touch of passion
among those who witness.

And with a solemn exchange
of absolute infinite, the union
has been made to last ‘til
the never ending.

"How To Keep Your Marriage Strong?"

Nine Ways to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

1. Nurture Safe Friendships

This is the most important affair-preventer in my life. No marriage can give you everything. A husband is going to have interests that his wife will never care about like fishing, hunting, or golfing. So he's less likely to stray if he can find some good guy buddies with whom to fish, hunt, and golf.Early on in our relationship, I realized that Eric was never going to be able to recite the "Hail Mary" or the "Our Father," or be able to tell them apart. So I feed my spiritual hunger by having coffee with my religious women friends, and with my safe male friends, the balding fellows over the age of 60.

2. Recognize the Drug

Depressives and addicts are especially prone to affairs because of the head rush that comes with infatuation. The spikes in dopamine and norepinephrine we experience upon connecting with someone new fools us into thinking that the sexy man or attractive woman at the bar holds the key to our nirvana and the end to our problems. This is the same as, say, the high from cocaine. Recognizing that that rush is not real, meaningful, or lasting, can help a married person to "just say no."

3. Keep Dating

I'm serious here. Visiting with your spouse with some regularity--just the two of you and no one else--will bring some very definite rewards to a marriage. By dating, you will learn how to TALK to each other again. In her book, "Mating in Captivity," Esther Perel urges a client to imagine her spouse as if she has just met him, to put him into that mysterious category again. This is really hard when you got a little one screaming, "Wipe me!" from the bathroom. However, when you can pull it off, I find her theory very effective. Here are a few rules for date night:* No kid talk * No eavesdropping * No fighting * No flirting (with other people) * No whining or crying * No flatulence * No technology (cellphones, BlackBerries, iPhones, or iPods) * No interrupting * No belching, spitting, or vomiting * No heavy boozing * No blogging about it * No Christmas sweaters, polyester dresses, or ratty underwear.

4. Pray Together

I know how those two words sound: just like the instructions of a couple leading a Catholic marriage preparation program (Pre-Cana) who told the engaged couples to "hold hands while they fight." Yeah right. Thanks for that advice! As I've said, Eric isn't all that jazzed about religion. So where am I going here?I've had this conversation over and over again in our house: we need to go to church as a family. But last September it stuck because David is now in Kindergarten at St. Mary's, and the teachers STRONGLY ENCOURAGE families to attend Mass together. As they should. I want to set a good example for our son. I also want him to see his dad sitting with me on the pew. And I do think going to church together gives me extra insurance that all of us are sticking together, even if I'm outside half the time with Katherine screaming "Jesus is poopy!"I can't help but think there is some truth to what my high school teacher said about the braid of a marriage: you need God as that third strand to create the beautiful bond between a man and a woman. And that Fr. Peyton really knew what he was talking about when he coined the phrase, "a family that prays together stays together."

5. Find a Creative Outlet

People get lured into emotional and physical affairs because the infatuation provides an exciting, stimulating place where they are energized. So to stay affair-proof, you have to find other sources of stimulation and excitement. For me, my blog is that outlet. I can't wait to log on each day to see what all of my dear readers have to say. When I get overwhelmed by the domestic chaos of our lives, Beyond Blue provides me that outlet where I can create something new, where I can run away, however temporarily, from the stress."The desire to give oneself completely and purposefully pursues us always, and has its part in pushing us into more and more distractions, illusory love affairs, or the haven of hospitals and doctors' offices," writes Anne Morrow Lindbergh in "Gift From the Sea." In order to not be torn into pieces by all of life's distraction--and affairs fit into this category--Lindbergh urges women (and I add men) to seek a creative outlet, something of her own, in which to pour that energy that could so quickly shatter her marriage.

6. Hang Out with Happy Couples

According to the latest studies, the risk for obesity increased 171 percent among persons with obese friends. The risk only increased 37 percent for persons with an obese spouse, and 40 percent for folks with obese siblings. That says to me that peer pressure never really goes away, and that your friends influence you more than you think. So if you're hanging with a bunch of guys (or girls) that see nothing wrong with sleeping around, you are much more likely to do it yourself. The good news is that the opposite is also true. If you have a set of friends committed to their marriages, you will be less likely to cheat on your spouse.

7. Learn How to Fight

I'm not going to tell you to hold hands, like that woman at the Pre-Cana (Catholic marriage preparation) session. But this good advice did actually come from the couple who facilitated Eric's and my Pre-Cana obligation. They told us to wait before saying something really ugly, and make sure you weren't tired or hungry, or in a stressful situation. I'm not saying that you can't confront your spouse if you're tired, hungry, or stressed, because then we'd live in a silent world. BUT it's a good idea to recognize situations that tend to accelerate arguments. For Eric and me, that's two places: in the car (because I'm a nervous passenger, and so is he), and on a sailboat (where we argue about which one of us is a more capable skipper and can better read the wind).

8. Be Nice and Listen

"Duh," you're saying to yourself. But think about it. This is the hardest part about marriage. Listening. Keeping your mouth closed when the other person is talking. And then, at the appropriate time, saying something like, "I'm so sorry you're feeling that way" as you rub his back, instead of "If you would have done it this way, then you could have prevented that, Butthead."In my conversations with men and women who have had affairs, the number one reason for pursuing the affair was this: "She listened to me. I mattered to him."

9. Remember These Tools

Never forget that you have a toolbox of resources to draw on when you feel tempted by an extramarital affair. Here are some tools offered to me by those healing from affairs, insights to keep in mind when you feel that familiar head rush and are tempted to abandon logic for a thrill:
Don't go there: Don't put yourself in a threatening situation. Skip the conference in Hawaii with the colleague who flirts with you. If you absolutely have to go, avoid all opportunities to be alone with him.

You've got mail: When you don't know if your email crosses the line into appropriate language, send it to yourself first. Read it again, and ask yourself: would I feel comfortable showing this to my husband?

Dress with intentions: One woman told me that she saved her lingerie for her husband, and wore the ratty old underwear to the high-school reunion where she'd see a flame from the past.
Talk about your spouse: A guy friend told me that whenever he is alone with a woman he finds attractive and things are getting uncomfortable, he'll start talking about his wife--what her hobbies are, and how much he loves her. It immediately kills the mood.

"When Is The Right Time To Propose?"

When does a man propose to a woman - what is the right time to propose to a woman and what is the right time for a woman to accept a proposal for marriage.

Young men are as hungry for love as much as young girls are hungry for lovewith 12-14 years sexual maturity usually is reached and just a few years later the desire to have a partner arises ... 16-18 years of age for girls would be the ideal age to accept a proposal ... provided the girl has many years of working experience, loving experience, helping experience, healing experience and has helped her own family many years to acquire all the skills and knowledge needed for a happy marriage.

In western countries most girls waste their most fruitful years, the most valuable years that would be needed to mature and grow strong in their extended studies of intellectual topics rather than practical skills of real life.The very same applies to most men in the "civilized world".A man is ready to propose to a woman for marriage when he IS strong, when he has extensive experience in this world, on several continents, different jobs, hard jobs, demanding jobs and a variety of truly useful jobs - useful for real life.

A man proposes to a woman when he again has anchored his soul and heart in God, when he is strong and spiritual enough to guide his wife and a dozen children - his children and other children where available - to God. A man need to be strong and spiritual enough to guide his entire family home to God rather than into lost space of creation. A man without roots in God will get his entire family lost in life - and most likely as a last resort his family may separate and finally divorce to attempt another path toward God.

God and returning HOME to God is the ultimate goal of any and every soul.When a man proposes to a girl for marriage without being mature to know and go the path of love to God with is entire family - then he lacks any, even the smallest amount of true love and the sole purpose of his proposal is a short time selfish gain in pleasure.

A girl only can accept the proposal for marriagewhen she is ready to follow the joint path of love to God with her entire familywhen she feels a strong love from her husband to be to secure her entire family until God-union is reached when she is willing to accept guidance on the mutual path to God

when love is all she ever wants in a mutual life with a husband

if anything else is a girl's goal - then a marriage always will fail to an end

fail to result in all family members being truly happy

fail to make her husband happy

fail to make her children happy

fail to be happy herself as well selfish reasons and selfish goals other than love always end in disaster

to have a disaster in life - we need no husband and no wife... we all have plenty of disaster around us, inside us and behind us hence we all have

NO need at all in more disaster in life but we have a need for more true love we have a need for solutions

we have a need for strong partner with a pure heart and clean consciousness and mind

we have a need for a strong partner joining all efforts toward the one and only goal in life

God and Love for all

If neither man nor woman can fulfill the requirements to propose or to accept proposal for marriage some have an "emergency door"

One of the two partners to be has a Guru - a true God realized Guru - willing to guide BOTH home to God. One family by tradition always has one Guru where needed. Both need to agree to accept guidance - both need maturity to follow and convert guidance, both need to agree to focus on God and Love above all in all their mutual life and beyond.

Both need to be willing to learn to improve love and to grow stronger and stronger in their hearts and bodies as well.True marriage only can be happy and of lasting nature if BOTH are strong in their heart and body, if both are strong enough to help others, to support others, to adventure thru life together, to accept challenges together - to share all life together and to say and prove a full YES to each other and to each other's marital needs of love, care and divine romance every day ... eternally.

Teach your children to grow strong as of the age of 5-10 by giving more and more freedom, by allowing them to share the work of father and mother to learn all and everything they are interested in. Give your children the opportunity to earn their own money as early as age 8-10 - even while at school - part time each day can be spent for useful jobs suitable for children, baby sitting, household help for elderly, and many other jobs - a few days now and then to start with, more hours on a more regular basis as they grow beyond age 10-12.

Strong children turn into strong adults year after year and can take care of their own true needs in life much better than intellectual student children who wasted their first 2 or more decades of life living at the expense of society without ever having learned a truly practical job for life. To make happy and to be happy neither graduation nor high school or university diploma are needed - but the willingness, strength and readiness to work any job that needs to be done no matter what.

Whoever "sees work" to be done also feel needs for love to be given and hence such young people turn into much better lovers and humans than graduate intellectuals who need formulas or rules for any job they do in life.

Help your children to have a better and above all a happier future by allowing your kids to grow strong as soon as the opportunity arises in their life.Children love to be with mother and father - hence children should be allowed to share any time they wish with mother and father in their own family business, during recreation and at home as well. Include your children in all aspects of your daily life, professional life as well as family life.

The gratifying result will be that your children will be ready for true love by the time their body, heart and soul is ready to be happy and to make happy. That usually is the time when the one and only right partner would be ready as well.

Help your children to be strong and ready to propose to the one and only as soon as they meet by allowing your children the freedom to adventure, to grow and to experience as much as they wish - with you, under your direct guidance and supervision as well as free from your direct supervision.

Latest beyond age 12 all normally grown up children are ready to venture into real life without parents - to grow on their own, to communicate with all others on their own. All normally grown up children still maintain the gift of love in their heart and communication - hence children are much more likely to succeed in a loving way on their own than many adults do.Children have a fresh spirit of natural loving happiness they spread into the hearts of others - children still know how to do things in life by intuition rather than by counsel of a lawyer.

Truly loving parents should have one single desire in their heartthe true happiness of each and all of their children with who ever their children chose as a partner - farmer or technician, fishermen or gardener, millions of different jobs can support a family and keep all family happy and together.