"Are Asians Opportunist Or Just A Dreamer?"

Why does everyone assume that when an Asian girl dates a white guy, she is just after him for money (dating, honest)?

Because of the currency of european & western countries.Most asian countries belong to the third world level with low currencies that their money have no value in the world market.

Third World means you belong to the lower class that the majority of its citizens suffers poverty.And if your poor it means you need to survive or escape.Most asian prefer to go to european & western counries for a living this is the primary reason to earn but due to the difficulty to aveil a visa to work or live there some asian decides to marry a white guy.But not all asians would marry for citizenship & for a instant living.

I can say most asian are somehow attracted to the physical features of the european/western men.They have those manly features that all women looked for but not all asians prefer to marry other race.It depends on different individuals.

You can't control the minds of other people , for me the important thing is if any couple compose by a white guy & asian woman really like each other or whatever their reasons are we should respect it.They are old enough to know what is right from wrong & if there are cases some asian marry for money or citizenship,they should learn from experienced but all asians are different individuals so never generalized if you met someone who cheated you.I think that is your luck & just be more careful in choosing your mate.

Is it worth having a relationship with an Asian?

Yes, if the intention is true & pure of both parties...I don't see that there is something wrong dating an asian or black women.It depends regardig the reasons why would ou what to date an asian if your reasons are just bec. they are petite & exotic.I don't think you should pursue your intentions.To have a worthwhile relationship you should have to understand that asian somehow differ in belief of westernized & european countries.You should be ready learn & accept your differences as an individual. Having a relationship with other races like asian is a very good learning experienced that you can exchange different views & learn one another's culture for more exciting relationship.Asian women are much more feminine rather than other women.And because of their culture most asian women are submissive to thier partners.Lastly,I want to say all women are worth having in a relationship it is how you handle your partner that matters.

Do you think Asian woman are opportunists?

Some but not all,to be honest because of the culture here that has been inherited before from our ancestors that only men should bring the bacon & the only duty of an asian wife is to take care of her children & her husband most women became independent with their husband & loosing their breadwinner is something most asian women are not use to bec. of the culture that has been inherited.As years past many asian women learn to earn & have their on careers that makes them more independent in life,this women have more self esteem & confidence in theirselves while others who has been left in the shadow of the past culture are the women who are independent to men who lacks self-trust so all they know to do is use their charm to attract men & white men are the perfect prospect for most asian women bec. we all know that more caucasians like asians.But not all asian women would sell their dignity for money it is up to you to find an asian woman of your desire just be discreet in choosing know their intentions.If they are always asking for money,beware you have found one opportunist asian woman!

What does ultimate opportunist mean?

The ultimate opportunists is not necessarily a user or a bad thing; it just means a person that tat sees an opportunity and regardless of how slight he will use it to his advantage. Every one is opportunistic to a point and will "take advantage" of a deal or give themselves an edge by seeing or discovering something some one else doesn't and then base the actions they take to achieve a goal on that action. It is not necessarily bad because in many cases a person will see and understand something in a situation that some one else doesn't so to be opportunistic can mean you are unusually observant and do nothing wrong. People who "cheat" to get an advantage or use a friend or information they shouldn't to get an advantage are "users" of people in a bad way. The ultimate opportunist is th person that will use any and all information to gain the advantage; most people would use the common or widely known big advantages but he will use even the tiniest in all situations.

It means the type of person who would use anybody and anything to get ahead in life. We all know these types of folks, they are what we call "users".

An opportunist is someone who won't go out of their way to do something, but won't turn it down if it's easy. If you leave your keys in your car, an opportunist would steal it, though they wouldn't break in. Ultimate is one of today's overused adjectives, not really used in the sense it is meant in the dictionary. Ultimate would be the apex of something, something without an equal. In this sense ultimate is just meant to describe someone who is very very opportunistic.Top honors for the ultimate opportunist would be hard to ascribe. We all know one or two.

I think the ultimate opportunist is someone who seizes and acts on every opportunity. This is usually a positive thing because, for instance, parents and students who get the most out of the educational system must be opportunists.It could be negative if it was done in a greedy way.The word "serendipity," in addition to having an interesting origin (look it up), means unexpectedly encountering an opportunity, recognizing it as such, and acting on it. Intelligence, creativity, education, and wisdom would all contribute.

"A Filipina,The Woman Of Your Dreams"

Filipina , The One

Island of the PhilippinesFacts: The Philippines is 3rd largest english speaken country in the world.
The Philippines, in southeastern Asia, consists of 7,107 islands lying between the South China Sea and the Pacific Ocean The Philippines, is 300.000 square kilometers ( 115,831 square miles) The Spanish colony was named the Philippines, after Philip of Spain (King Philip II).

Philippines is land of friendly people and smile on every face. Filipino girls other name "filipina" or "Pinay" is a magic woman in magic country.

Win The Heart Of A Beautiful Filipina.

There are so many ways how to win the heart of a girl. One of the most common moves is to give her gifts, such as flowers, chocolates , cute stuff toys, food, greeting cards, etc. You can take her out for a dinner, lunch, even breakfast! These are just so many ways in my mind that I could think of, but my personal favorite is how to win the heart of a "Pinay" (nickname for Filipino Girls). Courting a Filipina isn't as easy as you can see others are doing. There's a saying that when you court a Filipina, you court her family as well. Lucky for you if she doesn't have a large family because if she did, you will be tiring yourself with all the tasks you needed to do before you win her heart or win her family's heart, but it's all going to be worth it because it is all done by you to win her heart. Filipinas are family-oriented, that it is important for them that their parents or their brothers & sisters agree on you. Even uncles, aunties & grandparents butt-in as well. It is most important for the family that you court her in the house. This leaves you to visiting her in their house and remember to bring something for her family as well. Fresh fruits is the most common and I say the best gift to bring for them, it is not just delicious but it means you care for the family's health. By just doing this, you'll earn a lot of plus points!

You should spend time hanging out with her and her family. Either inside the house or going out somewhere. Being with them always makes them know more about you also. They will become comfortable with you around and probably earn their trust on you. They might challenge you to a game her dad likes, make you help plant on her mom's backyard, or even make you drive the whole family to just anywhere they like. If you'll be able to pass these things and see you as the right man for their girl, they will be in favor of you. Fortunately, the family will be advising or push their girl to like you the way they like you. Just remember that Filipinas love to be showered with attention from their partners. Respect is always important too. Understanding her and making her important people important for you is also a must. You should always remember that "Pinays" just like any other girls in the world, They needed your unconditional "LOVE"

You’ve found yourself the girl of your dreams, and guess what she’s a Filipina. You decided to visit her for the first time. On the second thought, you don’t know what to do when you get there. How to act, what to bring as gifts for her, where to stay, what things you should do when you’re there, simply all the things a foreigner should expect with her Filipina girlfriend.

You’re confused because you’ve been hearing about Filipinas as “gold-diggers”; they’re only out for what they can get. This is a common misconception, about the Pinays in general. You might even be surprised to find out that many of these young ladies are very shy to ask a man for money. In fact they would if opportunity arose, but still they want to work hard for it. You will also be surprised that Filipinas who you will be in relationship with is more than likely to want to protect you from wasting all your money, they will avoid you from the things that are expensive, poor value & quality, and also of course to other Filipinas who’s just after your money. A good Pinay will always protect her investment which is of course you.

First of all, you wanted to impress your girl. In their eyes they’re convinced that you’re rich, why? Because Philippines are a third world country, and anyone who is from a foreign country such as UK or US is considered as rich. You have to be a Filipino kind of broke before they consider you broke. So before you ride the plane to Philippines, there are things you need to prepare aside from the proper documents such as passports etc. First, a gift for her, maybe a branded perfume. Then you must expect that she will introduce you to her family, especially if you guys have talked about marriage. You then need to prepare a gift for her nanay (Mom) and tatay (Dad). Small items from your country to be given to her siblings. You might want to bring extra gifts too incase grandparents are there too hehe. Bring imported chocolates, they would be glad when they receive pasalubongs (gifts from other places).

Meeting your lady for the first time can be a bit awkward for her. She will be shy most of the times but expect that she would do her best to make your trip worthwhile. Filipinas are charming, loving, attentive and very helpful. They are aware that since it’s your first time in the Philippines, she will want to look after you and take care of your needs, she is also aware that you took the time to travel and see her in an exclusive basis. She is of course flattered by your visit that she wants to make your stay as comfortable and as enjoyable as it could be. And of course the long wait has arrived; honestly you’re going to be expecting sex! However, expect that you might not get it immediately or within the first couple of days. If you get lucky, I advice you to think carefully about family planning. Since Filipinas are not that conscious about birth controls, you should do the first act by using a condom. You wouldn’t want to embarrass her or yourself with her family, getting her pregnant before you are married.

Visiting a Filipina in an exclusive basis is very important; expect to be out with her most of the times. Pinays feel proud to have you walking with her, it’s quite chic in the Philippines to have a foreign boyfriend, so don’t be surprised if you get a few stares from other people. Expect that if you treat a Filipina as your “princess” there is no boundary for what she will do for you. And that is why you should not stare at other Filipinas while in her company. This is actually considered to be rude, and may cause your lady to show strange kind of behavior known as “tampo”. Pinays can be quite stubborn when you displease her, they don’t want a guy to come all the way in the Philippines and just start looking at another local. After all, they can get someone who does that right at home. Yes, some Filipinos “Pinoys” are known for having mistresses, one of the reasons why young Pinays are attracted to the idea of a foreign husband that they are absolutely convinced that foreign men won’t cheat on their wives, or at least the majority don’t do it.

The important thing to remember is that Filipinas can be the most accommodating woman in the world, treating you like a man should be treated comes natural to them. In return, they expect you to trust them. Second is fidelity, they don’t want you to commit infidelities and third is Honesty. Pinays expect you to be honest with them in a practical way. They expect you to provide for them and take care of them. Simply, a Pinay expects to be treated as the only woman in your life.

"Myths About Asian Women"

Common Myths About Asian/Western Marriages

Most Asian Women want to escape the poverty and will do anything to leave their country. People who think this, of course have never visited an Asian woman at home.Family is very strong so an Asian woman will only leave home if she is truly in love.But she wants what any woman wants - a happy relationship with a man with whom she can share her love. With women out-numbering men by as much as four to one in many parts of Asia, this can be very difficult.

Anyway Your Lady Will Leave You Once She Has Her Citizenship. Because divorce is illegal in many Asian Countries the women are not pre-programmed to think of divorce as a way out. To them family is everything and they will not give it up without giving their all.Inter-racial love affairs, which begin long distance have proved to be much more successful than domestic love affairs. The overall divorce rate in the United States is over 50%, while that for inter-racial marriages is below 20%.

International Travel is Dangerous and Unhealthy.Over one hundred thousand Americans were murdered last year. You are probably safer in most of Asia.As for health, make sure you listen to your doctor regarding innoculations for any specific area and you will be fine.

Only Men With Problems Are Attracted To These WomenWrong again. Many men are tired of the 'emotional baggage' many Western women carry after around thirty years of age. Many men are attracted to the beauty of Asian women. Many men are simply attracted by the fact that age and looks are largely irrelevant to an Asian woman. In fact you will find that most Asian women really do want a considerably older partner.The fact that far more inter-racial marriages are successful than internal marriages speaks for itself.

Most Men Only Want an Asian Women Because They Are More Submissive. Another myth put about by people who have zero knowledge of the Asian personality.Asian women are tolerant, loyal and easy to get along with. This is, to the uneducated, confused with submission. If anything, Asian women are better at getting what they want than many Western women, they are just more subtle and tactful about it. She knows how to make her man happy even while she gets her own way.

"Asian Beauty"

"Don't Underestimate...
The Charm Of An Asian Woman"



1. In Asia, it is more acceptable for an old guy (Westerner) to walk around with a young girl (in her late teens, early twenties). No, it is not more acceptable. It's just more ignored or overlooked by the locals, due to the Asian culture of avoiding embarrassing realities or skirting conflict if possible. Most Asian cultures, and certainly the Filipino culture, are not any more accepting of prostitution in their religion. Any "acceptance" is at the cultural level, among the lower classes and economically impoverished sectors of Asian society. They simply "accept" sex tourists, especially the older, uglier, and fatter ones, due to their desire and often greed for the punter's money. And yes, they do see him as a punter, not as a handsome man, man of the world, white teacher, or good hearted man.

2. There are more "available women" in Asia. No, in all likelihood there is just a slightly higher number of women compared to men, in sync with most of the world, due to women's tendency to live longer...and to to drive men to their graves earlier LOL. There may appear to be more available women, given that Western men have more money due to the exchange rate. However, consider that the women surrounding them are often bargirls, hookers, gold diggers, and most are a combination of damaged good, divorcees, abused women, and prostitutes. Not exactly the type of "available women" most men consider desirable by Western standards.

3. Asian women are better due to their "traditional values". This one is a real joke, given how obviously contradictory the average Westerner propagating it is. One the one hand, he spews his hatred of filipina women as fat cows with no sense of femininity, while on the other hand he moans about greedy Filipina bargirls who lie about their love, playing the "girlfriend", all in order to steal his money. Did it ever occur to the Westerner seeking his "traditional Asian wife", that this would mean supporting her, given her lack of meaningful earning power (she's uneducated, only has skills in prostitution (the bargirls) or domestic skills (the bargirls and non-bargirls), young, and inexperienced in professional work), and dealing with an uneducated person relative to the average Westerner?

Did it ever occur that when you push away that overly competitive filipina girl, you are also pushing away the person who is "truly" your equal (something many men seem to hate in a woman, why?), able to have meaningful intellectual talks with, and able to support herself? Conversely, when you marry or date a "traditional" girl, has it occurred that most filipinas seem to always end up with the poor ones? Unless you actually are attractive and relatively young (i.e. under 40), with some reasonable amount of social skills, the odds are unlikely you'll end up with an educated Asian woman. If you do, she will likely be more Westernized and less traditional too.

There is a natural trade off between a Western girl and a "traditional Asian woman". With one comes having to deal with an equal with full freedom to leave or stay based on her judgement of you as a person, a boyfriend, a lover, and a human being (just like the way guys evaluate their girlfriends, bargirls, hookers, and lovers). On the other hand, you gain sexual, emotional, and domestic complicity at the cost of financial support and a marriage that may border on institutionalized prostitution.

"Misconception About Asians"

Big American Misconceptions about Asians

Asian Americans stand at the crossroads between west and east. We feel the currents swirling together in opposition to form thunderheads with the potential to unleash cataclysmic storms. We know better than most that these storms, past and future, are fueled more by misperceptions than actual inimicability of interests. If we feel helpless to intervene, it is understandable. At times America seems to measure its strength by the arrogant impenetrability of its ignorance about half of humanity.

We have all seen the cataclysms that can occur on our own soil from an arrogant faith in American invulnerability. As an American I will do my part here to perforate that ignorance.

I'll begin with a gross understatement: for four generations Americans have had less reason to understand Asians than Asians have had to understand Americans. Fortunately for America, this state of blissful ignorance was secured by overwhelming superiority in every material respect. But the sustained surge of nations like Japan, Corea, and now China is leveling the transpacific playing field. Add to that the inestimable advantage conferred on Asians by intimate knowledge of the United States, and America's willful, not to say scornful, ignorance begins to border on self-destructive.

From my years as a dismayed and frustrated observer of American dealings with Asians, I have verbalized the biggest misconceptions. Yes, this is a criticism of American complacency. But more, it is an effort at spreading necessary truths in the hope they may help avert unnecessary conflict and suffering.

1. Asians devalue dignity and human life. It is better to be the head of a rooster than the tail of an ox, goes one formulation of a universal Asian sentiment. American misperception has it that life is cheap in Asia, ergo, Asians have little dignity. The source of this misconception? Americans visiting Asian nations while they were devastated by generations of wars and colonial exploitation saw that labor and goods could be had dirt-cheap and concluded that life and dignity too must be cheap.

More astute observers have noted that life is cheap in Asia only when measured against dignity. Remember that the great Asian movements of the past century for the dignity of self-determination have succeeded, albeit at a cost of many millions of lives. Even the antics of Pyongyang's Kim family have, at bottom, the determination to resist American domination. And as incredible as the scenario might have seemed a few years ago, the December 2002 Corean presidential election suggests that sentiment may be shifting toward sympathy with Pyongyang, once again showing that Asians value dignity above security and expedience.

When I see Uncle Sam lecturing China on human rights, I cringe. Does China lecture the U.S. about economic disparities or race relations? Asians don't like being patronized and condescended to any more than anyone and perhaps harbor more intense resentment at the indignity. Many Asian nations are willing to go to extreme lengths to ensure that they aren't subjected to such indignities in the future.

Bringing the discussion closer to home, Asian American entrepreneurs proliferate at a rate greatly exceeding that of any other ethnic group because so many of the most capable Asians would rather be the head of a rooster than the tail of an ox. It is this overwhelming value placed on dignity that also best explains the remarkable sacrifices made by Asian Americans to obtain higher education for their children.

2. Asians are wannabe Americans. Stories of Asians risking death for a chance to come to America have fed the insulting notion that Asians are wannabe Americans. The reality is that only the most desperate or undervalued Asians, representing a miniscule fraction of the populations of their respective nations, would consider leaving their homelands. U.S. immigration quotas for Japan and Corea, for example, have gone unfilled for some years. Some Asians may envy American opportunities or lifestyles, but more are repelled by what they see as a crassly materialistic society that breeds alienation, drug-dependence, pointless violence and lonely old age. The bland American assumption that Asia would be better off if it would wholesale adopt the American social model finds little support in statistics on crime, homelessness, divorce and seniors in retirement homes.

Asians who have the opportunity and the means go out of their way to retain their ancestral culture. Asian American families devote thousands a year and much of their leisure time to preserving ties to their Asian heritage. The proliferation of Asian food markets and shopping areas, Saturday Asian-language classes and college Asian American studies courses are among the more visible signs of Asian devotion to their own cultural heritages. Some might even argue that in many large cities Asian culture is actually expanding its influence to non-Asians.

3. Asians are hitchikers on modernity. Americans have only to look around to see compelling proof of Asian ingenuity, industry and social organization. Computers, cars, cellphones, video games, flat-panel displays and every manner of consumer goods are more likely to have originated in Asia than any other continent.

The notion that Asians are primitives who recently stumbled onto modernity by grasping western coattails is grounded on hoary faith on the seminal importance of western inventions like the light bulb or the transistor. That's like saying that the NASA moon landings should be credited to An Wang's invention of the magnetic-core memory which enabled computers, an essential component of space launches. Progress may be facilitated by certain technological advances, but advances have never been dependent on any single society or race.

Those fixated on invention as the apex of human achievement might note that the U.S. Patent Office gets more submissions each year from Asian than non-Asian applicants. Collectively, Japan, Corea and Taiwan register more patents in the U.S. than does the U.S. itself. And that doesn't even count the large percentage of U.S. patents filed by Asian Americans. Then there are those who accept on faith that the progress leading to modern civilization was enabled by western social systems.

They forget that commerce and capitalism had been thriving in Asia for a thousand years before they began taking root in Europe. Democracy is a political innovation of indisputable value, but it is hardly the foundation of social progress. Corea, Taiwan and Singapore attained industrialized status without it. China didn't need it to pull off history's greatest social engineering project -- raising a billion souls from post-colonial destitution while building a middle class larger than Britain's in the span of 50 years.

4. Asians disrespect women. The western myth that Asian culture accords little respect to women appears founded on works like Madame Butterfly that pander to chauvinistic fantasies and the hunger for exotic grotesqueries. Such depictions of Asian women are typically drawn from the practices of the lower classes or anomalies created by extreme economic hardships. Images of devalued Asian women are kept alive by bargirl stories of generations of G.I.s who served tours of duty in impoverished, wartorn nations.

Add to that the countless books and articles published each year about Asian women sold into sexual slavery or wealthy Asian men with numerous concubines and mistresses. The truth is, such practices have occurred (and continue to occur to this day) in Europe and even the United States as well. Regardless of time and place, women in the lower classes tend to be victimized to a greater degree.

Comparing apples to apples, middle and upper class Asian families have traditionally placed women on an equal footing with men, albeit in differing roles. "Women hold up half the heavens" is a well-known Asian saying. Western women are expected to take their husband's surnames at marriage. Asian women traditionally keep theirs. In western households women are often placed on an allowance. In Asian households women typically control the finances. Asian women are traditionally expected to observe outward signs of deference to husbands, but in private they are allowed to be as outspoken or even as domineering as their personalities allow.

In ironic contrast, western societies expect men to show signs of deference to women in public but are often allowed to be petty tyrants at home. "A man's home is his castle," isn't an Asian saying. Social constraints of duty and respect toward wives have always reached into the Asian home. The truth is that until the past half century western societies have rarely given women the level of value and dignity enjoyed for milennia in Asia.

5. Asian's don't value children. Among the most damaging of misconceptions is the notion that Asians devalue their children. This belief seems to have originated from the availability of Asian children for adoption. This sad state of affairs resulted from the fact that until recently most Asian nations didn't have American- or European-style welfare systems that pay mothers for the support of illegitimate children. Rather than raising kids in extreme poverty and with the stigma of illegitimacy, some Asian mothers have chosen to put infants up for adoption, especially in poor nations.

Today the number of babies available for overseas adoption is decreasing steadily due to the growing prosperity of Asian nations and dramatically lower birth rates. In fact, advanced nations like Japan and Corea are experiencing birthrates too low to sustain current population levels, expanding the domestic pool of couples looking to adopt.

A more telling measure of the high value Asians place on offspring is the high level of sacrifice made by Asian and Asian American parents to give kids optimal home environments and the best possible educational and social opportunities. The remarkable success of young Asian

Americans in elite colleges is compelling evidence of the value Asians place on their offspring relative to other American groups.

"The Portrait that is the Filipina"

A True Filipina

The Filipina of today is a life-size, full-length oil painting on canvas. She is a tableau that can be hung and appreciated, with pride or prejudice, depending on who the audience is. She is a multi-dimensional portrait. The background, shaped by the epochs in which she slowly evolved, greatly influences the main element, which is a mixture of diverse yet solid colors.

To fully understand the whole painting that is the Filipina, we need to scrutinize both the background and the main element. The background shows us a dynamic picture of the Filipina of yesteryears. She was a babaylan or katalonan (chief priestess) during the pre-Hispanic period, an active participant of the revolution, a committed member of the suffrage movement in the 19th century, and now a strong force in every sector of the society.

She has always enjoyed equality with men, and has always sought and received education. That is, until the coming of the Spaniards that underlined man’s superiority and the woman’s limited capacity², thus forcing the Filipina to take a supporting role in society.

She was typecast as meek and submissive, but was she ever really? Even the world-fabled Maria Clara showed glimpses of an inner strength and a resilient spirit — qualities that always came to the fore whenever circumstances would pit the Filipina against social and personal turmoil. She got through the dark ages of her past — her repression and the rape of her soul and spirit by the colonizers — stronger than ever.

She took an active part in building the nation, and in becoming what she is today.
The main element of the portrait, on the other hand, is the modern Filipina — her evolved self. Having recaptured her original role in the society, that is, her man’s equal, she is busier than ever, charting not just her own destiny but that of the whole nation.

She has become the country’s chief executive and a commissioned officer in the armed forces. She now holds major seats in the government, chairs executive meetings in offices, launches civic activities, moulds the young, and lords over her internal and external struggles, among others. She has braved foreign cultures in foreign lands, and is braving them still.

The modern Filipina is multi-faceted. Gifted with an open, compassionate heart, she is loyal and unselfish. She values love and friendship, adores her family, and does not mind putting her loved ones’ needs ahead of her own.

Blessed with a good mind, she loves learning and enjoys getting the kind of education she deserves. Social issues and intellectual debates are as much a staple for her as are talks about movies, social events, and shopping and beauty products. She can enjoy the company of logic and common sense, and get cozy with introspection. She can do anything she sets her mind on and can excel in her own field. She is the sail and rudder of her own ship; she knows what she wants, and does her best to achieve it.

She knows and speaks her mind and asserts her views, although at times — when she sees fit — she is willing to hold her tongue to give the platform to her husband.
Endowed with a compassionate soul, hers are the hands that reach out to friends and loved ones in need. Her shoulders, strong yet comfortable, are always ready to caress wounded spirits.

She may be quick to tears, but as she pours her heart out, an inner strength surges to the surface, and a new resolve comes over her. She has the resilience of the bamboo that allows her to thrive even in the harshest of conditions. She may bend and sway with the direction of the wind during stormy weathers, and she may cry rivers when her existence is jolted by life’s earthquakes, but she never gives up; she strives not to fall.

Bestowed with a happy spirit and shiny disposition in life, she smiles a warm smile, and laughs an infectious kind of laughter. She deals with life with the necessary amount of seriousness, and licks her wounds with good humor.

Being human, she too commits mistakes. She also stumbles and errs. But her weaknesses do not warrant removal of her portrait from the world gallery of respectable and strong women.

It should continue to hang there; it is the spotlight that has been focused on the tiny blemish on her portrait for so long that should be finally properly angled so that the viewers may, hopefully, learn to admire the masterpiece that the Filipina really is.;

"A myth:The whiter the prettier"

Reasons why the Filipino people believe

“The whiter you are, the prettier you are…”

This blog is in response to Zonah’s blog (read her entry)and her question: “am really wondering bakit sa kultura natin ang maputi, straight ang hair ay siyang tinatawag na maganda? Where do we get this concept?”

My answer is way too lengthy to be posted as a reply or comment… so I thought I’d post it as a separate blog.

Here it is…

You are not alone in this sentiment… “That white is beautiful…” or “the whiter you are, the prettier you are…”

Even my husband asks me this same question… “Why do Filipinos and the Filipino women are too busy acting like they are white…? In fact, I think most of them even think they are white!

Why is that, huh…?”

Quite frankly, I am offended by this question… But sadly, it is true… I have to admit… my husband is right in thinking that, we as Filipino people are guilty of acting like we are white. This attitude is very apparent, especially among Filipino elite… and even the not so elite ones.

I am guilty of this, which I vehemently deny. No, I don’t have white skin. I only have a hint of Spanish blood, and I grew up in a leaky nipa hut… So I most definitely do not belong to the privy, selected few… The part that I am guilty of acting like I am white, according to my husband, is the fact that I do not know my place.

I do not carry myself according to my stereotype. I think my ego gets in the way. I consider myself just as good as everyone else, regardless of race or color. But maybe my husband is right, on the point that I forget that being a female and a Filipino are already two strikes against me… and I do not know my place…

In the workforce, I was highly ambitious and went after jobs that I was not supposed to get. (But back then I did not know any better…) I got the job anyway… But I think Mr. Luck was on my side. … Or maybe, I was just at the right place, at the right time… and in some cases… knowing the right people…

But in the end, it always went back to the issue of me being Filipina and not knowing my place… Or maybe, as much as I do not want to admit, I still have a lot of growing up to do…

For a week or so now… I have been reading our history… the Philippine history… I am doing this to re-educate myself about my roots, my upbringing, my values, and my beliefs… including the bullshit ones that I based my life on.

The values and brainwashing that’s been ingrained in my subconscious, way before I had the power to recognize them as such…

If you recall… the Philippines have been ruled by the Spaniards for over 300 years… And YES, the Spaniards are white people from Europe!!!

During this reign… they have transformed the Filipino people. Back then, we were not even called Filipinos.

We were just a collection of different tribes, from different islands, speaking different languages. We were described to possess these physical attributes: “medium height, although tall men are to be found among them; especially in the mountain districts.

Skins are of a brownish colour, with black eyes, prominent cheek bones, the nose flat rather than arched or straight, nostrils wide and full mouth inclined to be large, lips full, good teeth, and round chin.” (http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/12010a.htm)

The Spaniards called us derogatory names such as brown monkeys, Indio, wild people, etc…
The Spaniards gave us our culture, our values and our religion. They even gave us our Christian names or Spanish names and last names.

Today, almost 500 years later… we still have this same culture, the same values and religion… and the Spanish influences are still alive and well.

Did you know that the name Filipino was originally given to the white Spanish colonists born in the Philippines? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criollo_(people)) I certainly was shocked to find this out! I have never ever questioned the origin of our race… I mean why we are called Filipinos?

However, the name Filipino has drastically changed, especially during the Philippine Revolution, by which the nationalist movements have adopted Filipino to mean the entire population of the Philippines, including the indigenous Malay people. Today, the name Filipino is the exact opposite of its original meaning.

When the Spaniards established the Philippines as one of their colonies, they stationed Spanish men consisted of the ruling class and clergy men in different areas within the Philippine
archipelago. While the clergy men busied themselves converting the people into law abiding and

God fearing Christians; and the ruling class establishing government, they also started mixing with our race. To be blunt… they started impregnating the Filipino women. I’m not saying they impregnated all childbearing Filipino women that they could get their hands on… Let’s just say that because of this union, voluntary and involuntary, the Filipino race started to evolve.

With Spanish genes mixed in our blood lines, our skin color has changed from brown to tan, and then tan to fair skin, depending on the amount of Spanish genes the person has in his bloodlines…
Given this… of course!

The Spanish people are going to preach and inculcate in our ancestors brains, in our brains, that those Filipino people whose skin color are similar to theirs are indeed beautiful!

Thus, the widely spread of Filipino beliefs that the whiter you are, the prettier you are… And let us not forget the many Chinese people who now inhabit the Philippines, who also have mixed with our race… they also pride themselves of being white…

… And then the Spaniards sold us to the Americans for $20,100,000.00 in the early 1900s… Another white ruling class… similar ideals and beliefs that made the current ones stronger…

Fast forward to now… in the year 2008…

This belief of being “white and beautiful” is further strengthen by the continuous brainwashing and programming being carried out by corporations, owned by the powerful elite, whose business is to sell beauty products and the likes to the Filipino people.

The fact is… there is plenty of money to be made among unhappy people, people who are discontent about their looks and skin color, people who have low self–esteem… people who are not happy with themselves.

We need to recognize that we have been programmed to think this way… We have been programmed to think that “the whiter you are the prettier you are…”

Therefore, if you are dark skinned, you are ugly. A very poor… shallow… and ignorant view… But this, my friend, is just one of the ways that the elite and powerful corporations control us… It is on purpose that we feel inferior… and unhappy about ourselves…

5 Responses to “Reasons why the Filipino people believe “The whiter you are, the prettier you are…””

Mixxy says: May 6th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
I don’t understand what you mean by “your place”. Could you explain this?

What stereotype are you talking about?

“I am guilty of this, which I vehemently deny. No, I don’t have white skin. I only have a hint of Spanish blood, and I grew up in a leaky nipa hut… So I most definitely do not belong to the privy, selected few…

The part that I am guilty of acting like I am white, according to my husband, is the fact that I do not know my place. I do not carry myself according to my stereotype. I think my ego gets in the way. I consider myself just as good as everyone else, regardless of race or color.

But maybe my husband is right, on the point that I forget that being a female and a Filipino are already two strikes against me… and I do not know my place…”

Mixxy… Tess Harris says: May 6th, 2008 at 10:18 pm

You mean not “knowing my place”…

When he (my husband) says “knowing my place”, he simply meant that when I am out there in the real world, here in America, people expect me to act, behave, and speak like Filipino. Filipinos are expected to be timid, shy and meek.

We speak broken English, especially if we are not born and raised here in U.S. We are submissive, obedient and compliant.

I am none of these… I have accent, but I do not speak broken English. I am not submissive, nor obedient or compliant.
That’s why I do not know my place.

Xeron says: May 8th, 2008 at 6:47 am

It is a bit of a conundrum that Filipino women would feel this way about themselves.
I am American of English and German descent, so I am as white as can be – painfully white, I often say.

The love of my life and my soul mate is a Filipina I have been with for the past 3 years (here in America). Her skin tone is a beautiful, creamy “medium brown,” but in her less secure moments she has said things indicating dissatisfaction with her color and darkness. I of course assure her that she is beautiful, and that I would not want her to look any differently.

I did chuckle as I read your description of the “typical” Filipina – it read like a checklist of my sweetheart’s features. Don’t get me wrong - I love her physical appearance. To me, her long black hair, pretty brown eyes, full lips (l-o-v-e those lips …), skin color, and perfectly proportioned frame are superior to other women. Yes, she is much shorter than me, but I have always had a weakness for petite women.

But what Filipino women may not know is that a man of quality is far less concerned about the color of her skin than he is about her qualities as a woman – meaning her character, integrity, caring ways, respect for her man, faith and faithfulness, and sensuality. All of the Filipinas I know are hardworking, kind, have very pleasant personalities, and a unique ability to make a man feel special. That is something American women would do well to learn, because they have bought into a cultural lie that turns men away.

So it occurs to me that perhaps some of the influences to which you object have actually shaped the culture of the Filipino people favorably - in some ways at least. Yet I do completely agree with you that those who judge a person based on color are shallow and ignorant. In this man’s mind, would a whiter Filipina be prettier? Absolutely not.

P. says: May 9th, 2008 at 8:09 am

I’m also frustrated by this obsession with whiteness. My grandmother was of Spanish origin and she married my grandfather, a native Filipino. Her children had very fair skin–except for my mom who looked more like her father. Hence, she was ridiculed by her siblings.

Where I live, many people prize my skin color as being beautifully tanned, even during the coldest winter months. I guess its that allure of “exoticism” in the great white north. In the Philippines, I was APPALLED to see the rows and rows of skin whitening products which encourage us to become self-conscious of our skin color.

It’s imperative that we rid ourselves of this colonized mentality. White is not prettier. How can Filipinos rise up if they idealize and aspire to be what they are not? It’s time to embrace being beautiful women of colour.

Arriane says: May (th,2008 at 10:45pm)

I am a filipina & very proud to be one.I'm brown skinned toned woman & i can say many admire my skin color. Before i used to dream to have a whiter skin tone but as i mature i realized that it is not true that if you are dark skinned woman you are lesser prettier than those women who has a fair skin.

This is a big lie bec. if you will just compare a beautiful woman with dark skin & a woman with a fairer skin,you will see at first glance that the whiter one will get your attention when you start to look at their features you will see that the woman with dark skin stands out inspite of being dark skinned her striking features still stands out that is what i mean of true beauty.If a woman is beautiful having a dark skin she is truly beautiful.

All i can say is it has nothing to do with the skin color,the facial features & over-all impact what makes a woman beautiful.To all women who have brown skinned don't waste money to have a whiter skin.Be proud with your skin color,bec. black is beautiful!

"The Different PERSONAS of a Filipina"

Filipina Women has an exemptional beauty that stands out!

We can't deny the fact that in popular search engines, the keyword "Filipina" is equivalent to different dating, penpal, nude and scandalous websites. This is also one of the reasons why some people from other countries have a different perception on Filipina Women in general.

The Filipina Writing project of Janette Toral aims to clean-up the search engines by encouraging other people to write an impressive and clean entries in their blogs and hopefully, these entries would appear in the first pages of the different search engines.

I've been thinking of a unique way of writing an entry for this project. As a self-confessed TV addict, I thought of writing an entry that describes the different personas of a Filipina by the use of the popular teleserye characters in Philippine Television.

A Filipina is a Real-Life Superhero - When I say "superhero", i don't actually mean that Filipinas have invisibility powers and have skimpy outfits to wear everyday. A real-life superhero is someone who can perform their duties well and are responsible enough to know what is the right thing to do. The characters Angel Locsin performed in the past reflects the persona of a real-life Filipina like in Darna, where she's willing to sacrifice her personal happiness just to serve other people. We have lots of "Darnas" out there like a Filipina Mom!

A Filipina is a loyal wife and a good mother- The Filipino version of Marimar portrayed by Marian Rivera is deeply in love with her husband, Sergio. Her innocence and pretty smile can brighten up any person's day. She is willing to do anything and everything to save her marraige and support her own family. Sunshine Dizon's character as Bakekang is someone who took good care of her daughters and did everything just to give them the best things life can offer.

A Filipina is Talented - Just take the characters portrayed by Rica Peralejo, Maja Salvador and Sarah Geronimo at the TV Show "Pangarap na Bituin". A Filipina can either sing, dance, act or do other creative stuff. Want some proof? Lea Salonga is a well-known Filipina stage actress. Nicole of The Pussycat Dolls and Vanessa Hudgens of the High School Musical are proud to be Pinay. Christine Gambito of HappySlip, a popular Youtube director is also a Filipina! Talk about world-class Pinay!

A Filipina prioritizes her Family - The character of Roxanne Guinoo as Gillian in the Sineserye "Natutulog ba ang Diyos" gone through a lot for her family. Margarita, played by the controversial Wendy Valdez did the "kapit sa patalim" job by dancing in clubs just to support her family. Kristine Hermosa's Maningning character in Prinsesa ng Banyera is taking good care of her mom and tries to juggle her work at the pier and as a nursing student. Therefore, Filipinas are Hardworking.

A Filipina is Undeniably Sexy - The keyword "sexy filipina" is usually used in a wrong way by some online searchers. For me, a sexy filipina knows how to carry the clothes she wears and is someone who is attractive without trying really hard. A perfect example of which is the Marimar Primera Kontrabida, Angelika, played by the Philippines' Finest, Katrina Halili. Observe the way she projects in that TV show. Another sexy pinay is Anne Curtis as Celine. She speaks her mind and she has that body to die for!

A Filipina is Simply Beautiful - Do I have to elaborate on this? I remember one of Nicole PCD's interview during their visit in the country that the reason why she stood out among the Pussycat Dolls is because of her exotic looks. It is pretty evident that her Filipina features are much stronger. Some of the pretty pinays we have on TV include Bianca King, Nadine Samonte, Yasmien Kurdi, Tanya Garcia, Angelika dela Cruz , Iza Calzado and a lot more.

A Filipina is a Hopeless Romantic - Bea Alonzo's character as Jackie in Maging Sino Ka Man can prove this. A Filipina can have all the money in the world, but you know what makes her really happy? A Prince Charming who will love her and will have a happily ever after lovestory with her. Also included are Cecilia of Sana'y Ikaw na Nga, Yna of Pangako Sayo and Via of Mula sa Puso.

"Filipina Beauty"

Dating and Romance Filipino Style

This article is mainly for the guys. Ladies will learn a lot of what and what not to do in public and Filipina Western relationships.

The first thing to remember is that girls can touch the guys, but the guys CANNOT touch the girls, so if you are walking down the street, DO NOT hold hands. It is okay for the lady to put her arm and hand around the man’s arm, but that’s about as far as it should go.

There is a reason for this. If a girl lets a man touch, hold hands, or put his arm around her, the Filipinas believe the girl is easy, lose, or maybe a prostitute. If you look at the way girls act in the bars, it is easy to understand that any traditional, well-educated Filipina girl would not want to be seen as such a person.Philippines is a class society, and the girls working in the bars are part of the lower class. Any well-educated and successful Thai man knows this and would not think of marring a girl of this status. Girls who work in bars are for having fun in the short term, and that is as far as it goes. Both Filipino men and women know this, but for some strange reason, many male visitors to Philippines just don’t get it. I will get back to this subject later.

Meeting Friends of the Opposite Sex.

Many people ask me where I find so many wonderful pretty ladies for friends.Well, it isn’t easy. First of all, you have to have time and lots of it. The best place to meet someone is where she works (not a bar). There are plenty of nice, well-educated traditional Filipina girls working in restaurants, shopping malls, as tour guides, and hotels.

This is excellent, as they have a product to sell you and you want to buy. This breaks the ice so you can have a conversation about something you both have in common. Be polite and look sharp(no T-shirt and shorts). If she is working in a restaurant, order your food, orin a shop, make a purchase and hang around a little while. Don’t ask any personal questions at this stage, just small talk. If she is interested in you,she will ask the questions for sure.

Now wait a day or so and then return. Tell her you were just passing by and wanted to stop and visit for a while. Engage in small talk again and answer her questions. Take your time and stick around a while. She now knows you are interested in her, so the questions will start coming that are more personal.You can now ask a few small personal questions, such as how many people are in her family, where she is from, where she went to school, etc., but not too many at this stage. When it is time to leave, give her a nice big smile and look into her eyes as you walk away.

Return again in a day or two. Engage again in a little small talk and then ask if she would like to enjoy a meal with you at her convenience at any place she chooses. She might say yes or she might say no. If she says no, she wants to see if you will return again or just never come back. Don’t worry, she will say yes sooner or later, so just be patient.

The First Date

When she does say yes, she will most probably ask if she can bring some friends along or people in her family. This is a Filipino tradition when first dating and nothing else. Many Westerners do not understand this and think she just wants a free meal for her and her friends or family--not so.

Your date wants her friends and family to check you out and will ask what they think about you later when they are alone. This is kind of like a job interview in front of board members. Don't ask her family or friends any questions--just let them ask you. You are the one being interviewed here. Also, if you talk too much to her friends or another female in the family, everyone will think you are flirting with them, not a good idea. Keep focused on your date.

Another thing you will be tested in is how you spend your money. This starts from the first date. If you ask her where she wants to eat, more than likely she will choose an expensive restaurant. You reply should be to suggest a restaurant that is nice but a little cheaper. A simple restaurant is a no-no,just as much as an expensive one is.Filipinas love shopping malls, so eating at a Pizza Hut for lunch or dinner is fine (not a Sizzler Steak House). Filipinas are very thrifty when it comes to spending money, they know how to get the most for the Philippine peso, and she is looking to see if you are the same. Suggest Pizza Hut for the “all you can eat night,” a very good bargain, and she will take notice of this.

After the first date

Later on in dating you will probably want to purchase a gift for her. This will be another money test. One example: when I was dating my Ex-wife before we got married, I noticed she needed a good watch. We went to the mall and a reputable watch dealer. Now, I could have bought a very expensive one, but here is what I did. I ask her which one she liked. Of course she picked out a very expensive one (remember this is just a test).

I then asked the clerk to see a much cheaper one, which she showed me. I told my date that the cheap watches were not any good. We then looked at medium-price watches and she found one she liked and made the purchase. Now here is the lesson in all this.

If a Filipina girl convinces you to make an expensive purchase when it is not necessary, she thinks you spend way too much money. If you make a cheap purchase, she will think you are stingy. If you make the right purchase, she will know you know how to spend your money wisely. She will never marry a man who throws money away or a man who has no money or is cheap.

Asking for money

Here is one trap most Western men fall into, and again, this is another test.My wife never did this, but I was one step ahead of her, so she didn’t have to.At some time in the courtship she will say something like, “My parents need anew roof for their house, as it leaks when it rains,” or, “We have no indoor plumbing in our house in the village. Can you help us?” or maybe, “My father's motorbike broke down and he needs a new one.” Let's think about this one carefully.

Okay, she now knows you might love her or at least like her a lot or you wouldn’t be spending this much time with her. Now she is performing the biggest test of all--seeing how stupid you are.

Most of the Western men I know would give her the money because they want to help. This is the biggest mistake you can do. DO NOT give her any money for anything!!! Your reply should be, “Let’s go to your parents house and see what they need and maybe I can help.” This is not only wise but also what she wants to hear. She will have one of two replies. If her parents really don’t need the money, she will just laugh, probably give you a hug, and change the subject, no more said for now. Don’t bring up the subject again; remember, this is just a test. If they do need the money for the purposes she mentioned, she will say okay.

Now one of three things will happen. If she just wanted you for your money,she will see you saw right through her objective and will avoid you. Another is she will take you to her parent's house and you will see her parents don’t need anything from you and that this was just a test. Third, you will visit her village and parents and see what they need. Now this is very important and happens mainly with bar girls. If you just give her the money she asks for, she will take it for sure.

Not only that, but she will keep asking for more as long as you keep giving it to her. You are now her cash cow, and remember, she didn’t take it from you: you were more than willing to give it to her. I hear many stories from Western men who say, “This girl stole my money.” No, you were stupid enough to give it to her without checking to see if her stories were true. Remember, these are tests to see if you are wise, thrifty, kind, and considerate, or just plain stupid. A traditional Filipina girl would not take the money but just smile or laugh as mentioned previously.

About the third date and beyond.

After she consults with her siblings and or friends and they like you, then she will go on to the next step. If they don’t like you, forget it. Filipinas won’t rely on their own feelings when it comes to getting serious with a potential mate. What their close personal relations say is most important when it comes to making decisions.

Again, you are at a restaurant with her, and probably a Filipino restaurant, but this time alone. You ask her to make the dinner choices for you and her. Once the plates arrive, she will put the rice on your plate for you. Here is where you find out if she is serious about you and falling in love. She will take small portions from the serving plates and put it on your plate. She will fill up your water or beer glass when it gets low. She will keep doing this until the meal is over. She is trying to show that she wants to take care of you.Filipina women are trained by their mother on how to take care of men and children.I don’t know why, but every time I just think I am thirsty, a glass of water appears. My Ex-wife even knew when I am getting hungry. It’s like she knows my every need just at the right time.

Getting Serious

One thing to remember is a Filipina girl will almost NEVER tell you she loves you.She shows her love by taking care of you. Don’t for a moment think she doesn’t love you because she doesn’t say it. Actions are what counts here and words mean very little when it come to love and romance.

Filipinas also love to give and receive gifts. These gifts should be personal and something you or they truly need. If you want to give a gift, shoes and handbags are their favorites. Don’t go out and purchase expensive gifts. Tell her you need to go shopping for something for yourself and take her with you.After you make your purchase (shirt, etc.), ask her if she would like a pair of shoes or handbag, then walk her to a store. Again, you can purchase a nice pair of shoes for her for a couple hundred Philippine peso, and most nice shoes are under 300 peso and handbags are under 400 Philippine peso. Filipina girls love shoes and handbags in a lot of different colors, so don’t spend a lot of money on one item. She will need more in different colors in the future.

Another gift men love to give, which is not very important to Filipina women,except on special occasions, are flowers. Many Filipina girls feel this is not practical and a waste of money. If you do buy flowers, make sure it is th he right color. The wrong color can have a negative meaning. The two best colors are white and red. White means you miss or missed her, which is great to give when you haven’t seen her in a while. Red is telling her you love her and is good for Valentine's Day, a birthday, or New Year's.Yellow is for mourning, so don’t give her those, as yellow is for funerals.

The Engagement

Now you are both in love and you are ready for ask for her hand in marriage.Take her to a nice restaurant for a romantic dinner and just ask her--that’s all there is to it. Don’t purchase a ring or anything. If she says yes,congratulations. Don’t worry about her parents and what they night say or want,as they already know all about you. They know their daughter loves you and she has already consulted with them and they have given their approval.

The next step is to take her to a gold shop and purchase a nice necklace for her,nothing too big and flashy, just something she likes. Let her make the choice,but you keep it; don’t give it to her yet.

It is now time to go and ask her parents. You should take a well-respected Thai friend along (male) who can tell them about your good character. When you go,take pictures of your family, your house, and any other personal pictures that shows what your life is like back home. Then give the gold necklace to your future wife in front of them. Ask if you can marry her and say how much you love her and why. She will give the necklace to her mother, who will have it blessed by a priest and return it to her. You are now engaged.

Now you can live together until the wedding. The wedding date will be set by first consulting a trusted Catholic priest or church pastor. Then the wedding plans can begin. You will have little or no say on how many people will be there, where it will be held, how much it will cost, or who to invite. Of course, your family and close friends will be allowed to participate and attend.

I hope this helps in understanding the Filipino way of romance. Remember, things are done much differently in their culture, and they are not going to do it any other way, trust me.