How to Survive a May-December Relationship

Step 1:Know your true feelings. Ask yourself if you really love your partner or is this person just reminding you of your younger years. If you are the younger of the two, ask if you are just looking for someone that can act as a mother or father figure. Re-think your relationship and think about the future.

If you are the older of the two, would you be able to keep up with your partner's energy many years down the road? On the other hand, if you are the much younger person, would you be able to see yourself loving this person as the grey hair and wrinkles start to show?

Being in a May-December relationship has a lot of challenges but what you need to assess first is if you are willing to really spend the rest of your life with this person from a different era or generation.

Step 2:Consider commonality. You may have a huge age gap but there is something there that sparks when you two are together. It is possible that you have a lot of things in common. Whatever it is, try to nourish those things and do the things that you both enjoy and like about each other.

Step 3:Be open to changes. There may be times that you may not agree with each other when it comes to tastes and styles. For example, if you are not into the same type of music that your partner likes, you can try to compromise with each other. Besides, would it really kill you to hear a bit of his 1980's music while he drives you home?

In the same manner your partner would surely enjoy dancing with your hip-hop music knowing that you listen to his. Being able to compromise is a key to succeed in having a May-December relationship. The object here is not to change the other person to adjust to your likes but to be able to work something out and find that happy middle ground.

Step 4:Remain an individual; do not lose your self identity. Do not change or make yourself look so old or young that you would look awkward. If you are the older one, do not be too bossy.

Oftentimes, the older person tends to be bossy, restricting the younger partner's freedom. Remember that you need to let your love grow by giving it enough space or air in between. Even plants that are planted too crowded together do not grow as fast as those with enough spacing in between.

This is the same with any relationship, so much more with a May-December one. Do not be afraid to give your partner the freedom to be himself and to do what he likes, and trust that in the end it is you who he loves. Do not be too smothering if you are the older one, you will scare your partner away and she may think you are being too controlling.

On the opposite side, if you are the younger one you should not force yourself to act so old or mature that you lose you own personality. At the other end of the spectrum you also would not want to be too childish for this can put a strain in the relationship, especially if you are too clingy and too demanding of your partner's time.

Step 5:Communicate and trust your partner. It is important to have open communication with each other. Make a pact about telling each other your true feelings. Make it a point to talk it out and not just ignore things until they become an issue. Trusting each other is really important. If your much younger

girlfriend wants to hang out with her gal pals, let her.

Do not constantly call your girlfriend to check up on her. Give her space and respect that. In the same manner that you would not want your girlfriend to always bother you with phone calls when you are out playing golf with your buddies or if you are on a business trip.

Step 6:Take care of yourself. You want to be together for as long as possible. If you are 10 or more years older than your partner, make sure that you keep yourself in tip-top shape. Eating healthy food, regularly exercising and getting your regular check-ups help ensure longevity. Take care of your skin and your total appearance.

Step 7:Gain acceptance of your relationship. The biggest challenge that people who are in a May-December relationship are faced with is how to gain acceptance from loved ones, family members and

friends. Be open about your relationship to others. The sooner you come out in the open, the sooner you will gain acceptance of your relationship.

It is true that some people who care about you would give their own opinion and maybe dissuade you or dismiss this relationship and try to convince you that you are just going through a phase in your life. Whatever they say, do not act too defensive. No need to strain family relationships; give them time to understand.

Just tell them your true feelings and let them know that you will proceed with your relationship, with or without their blessings. In due time, everyone will see that what you have is real love and that age doesn't really matter.

Tips & Warnings

If you are the younger one, ensure that you make yourself presentable and clean at all times, especially if you are meeting your partner's business acquaintances. Do not go to the company dinner party wearing inappropriate clothes, always dress appropriately whatever the occasion may be.

Do not have a relationship with a minor for there would be legal consequences if you do.
Do not be ashamed to be seen out in the open together. Show that you are proud of your partner by not hiding him and pretending that he is not your boyfriend.

"Misconception About Asians"

Big American Misconceptions about Asians

Asian Americans stand at the crossroads between west and east. We feel the currents swirling together in opposition to form thunderheads with the potential to unleash cataclysmic storms. We know better than most that these storms, past and future, are fueled more by misperceptions than actual inimicability of interests. If we feel helpless to intervene, it is understandable. At times America seems to measure its strength by the arrogant impenetrability of its ignorance about half of humanity.

We have all seen the cataclysms that can occur on our own soil from an arrogant faith in American invulnerability. As an American I will do my part here to perforate that ignorance.

I'll begin with a gross understatement: for four generations Americans have had less reason to understand Asians than Asians have had to understand Americans. Fortunately for America, this state of blissful ignorance was secured by overwhelming superiority in every material respect. But the sustained surge of nations like Japan, Corea, and now China is leveling the transpacific playing field. Add to that the inestimable advantage conferred on Asians by intimate knowledge of the United States, and America's willful, not to say scornful, ignorance begins to border on self-destructive.

From my years as a dismayed and frustrated observer of American dealings with Asians, I have verbalized the biggest misconceptions. Yes, this is a criticism of American complacency. But more, it is an effort at spreading necessary truths in the hope they may help avert unnecessary conflict and suffering.

1. Asians devalue dignity and human life. It is better to be the head of a rooster than the tail of an ox, goes one formulation of a universal Asian sentiment. American misperception has it that life is cheap in Asia, ergo, Asians have little dignity. The source of this misconception? Americans visiting Asian nations while they were devastated by generations of wars and colonial exploitation saw that labor and goods could be had dirt-cheap and concluded that life and dignity too must be cheap.

More astute observers have noted that life is cheap in Asia only when measured against dignity. Remember that the great Asian movements of the past century for the dignity of self-determination have succeeded, albeit at a cost of many millions of lives. Even the antics of Pyongyang's Kim family have, at bottom, the determination to resist American domination. And as incredible as the scenario might have seemed a few years ago, the December 2002 Corean presidential election suggests that sentiment may be shifting toward sympathy with Pyongyang, once again showing that Asians value dignity above security and expedience.

When I see Uncle Sam lecturing China on human rights, I cringe. Does China lecture the U.S. about economic disparities or race relations? Asians don't like being patronized and condescended to any more than anyone and perhaps harbor more intense resentment at the indignity. Many Asian nations are willing to go to extreme lengths to ensure that they aren't subjected to such indignities in the future.

Bringing the discussion closer to home, Asian American entrepreneurs proliferate at a rate greatly exceeding that of any other ethnic group because so many of the most capable Asians would rather be the head of a rooster than the tail of an ox. It is this overwhelming value placed on dignity that also best explains the remarkable sacrifices made by Asian Americans to obtain higher education for their children.

2. Asians are wannabe Americans. Stories of Asians risking death for a chance to come to America have fed the insulting notion that Asians are wannabe Americans. The reality is that only the most desperate or undervalued Asians, representing a miniscule fraction of the populations of their respective nations, would consider leaving their homelands. U.S. immigration quotas for Japan and Corea, for example, have gone unfilled for some years. Some Asians may envy American opportunities or lifestyles, but more are repelled by what they see as a crassly materialistic society that breeds alienation, drug-dependence, pointless violence and lonely old age. The bland American assumption that Asia would be better off if it would wholesale adopt the American social model finds little support in statistics on crime, homelessness, divorce and seniors in retirement homes.

Asians who have the opportunity and the means go out of their way to retain their ancestral culture. Asian American families devote thousands a year and much of their leisure time to preserving ties to their Asian heritage. The proliferation of Asian food markets and shopping areas, Saturday Asian-language classes and college Asian American studies courses are among the more visible signs of Asian devotion to their own cultural heritages. Some might even argue that in many large cities Asian culture is actually expanding its influence to non-Asians.

3. Asians are hitchikers on modernity. Americans have only to look around to see compelling proof of Asian ingenuity, industry and social organization. Computers, cars, cellphones, video games, flat-panel displays and every manner of consumer goods are more likely to have originated in Asia than any other continent.

The notion that Asians are primitives who recently stumbled onto modernity by grasping western coattails is grounded on hoary faith on the seminal importance of western inventions like the light bulb or the transistor. That's like saying that the NASA moon landings should be credited to An Wang's invention of the magnetic-core memory which enabled computers, an essential component of space launches. Progress may be facilitated by certain technological advances, but advances have never been dependent on any single society or race.

Those fixated on invention as the apex of human achievement might note that the U.S. Patent Office gets more submissions each year from Asian than non-Asian applicants. Collectively, Japan, Corea and Taiwan register more patents in the U.S. than does the U.S. itself. And that doesn't even count the large percentage of U.S. patents filed by Asian Americans. Then there are those who accept on faith that the progress leading to modern civilization was enabled by western social systems.

They forget that commerce and capitalism had been thriving in Asia for a thousand years before they began taking root in Europe. Democracy is a political innovation of indisputable value, but it is hardly the foundation of social progress. Corea, Taiwan and Singapore attained industrialized status without it. China didn't need it to pull off history's greatest social engineering project -- raising a billion souls from post-colonial destitution while building a middle class larger than Britain's in the span of 50 years.

4. Asians disrespect women. The western myth that Asian culture accords little respect to women appears founded on works like Madame Butterfly that pander to chauvinistic fantasies and the hunger for exotic grotesqueries. Such depictions of Asian women are typically drawn from the practices of the lower classes or anomalies created by extreme economic hardships. Images of devalued Asian women are kept alive by bargirl stories of generations of G.I.s who served tours of duty in impoverished, wartorn nations.

Add to that the countless books and articles published each year about Asian women sold into sexual slavery or wealthy Asian men with numerous concubines and mistresses. The truth is, such practices have occurred (and continue to occur to this day) in Europe and even the United States as well. Regardless of time and place, women in the lower classes tend to be victimized to a greater degree.

Comparing apples to apples, middle and upper class Asian families have traditionally placed women on an equal footing with men, albeit in differing roles. "Women hold up half the heavens" is a well-known Asian saying. Western women are expected to take their husband's surnames at marriage. Asian women traditionally keep theirs. In western households women are often placed on an allowance. In Asian households women typically control the finances. Asian women are traditionally expected to observe outward signs of deference to husbands, but in private they are allowed to be as outspoken or even as domineering as their personalities allow.

In ironic contrast, western societies expect men to show signs of deference to women in public but are often allowed to be petty tyrants at home. "A man's home is his castle," isn't an Asian saying. Social constraints of duty and respect toward wives have always reached into the Asian home. The truth is that until the past half century western societies have rarely given women the level of value and dignity enjoyed for milennia in Asia.

5. Asian's don't value children. Among the most damaging of misconceptions is the notion that Asians devalue their children. This belief seems to have originated from the availability of Asian children for adoption. This sad state of affairs resulted from the fact that until recently most Asian nations didn't have American- or European-style welfare systems that pay mothers for the support of illegitimate children. Rather than raising kids in extreme poverty and with the stigma of illegitimacy, some Asian mothers have chosen to put infants up for adoption, especially in poor nations.

Today the number of babies available for overseas adoption is decreasing steadily due to the growing prosperity of Asian nations and dramatically lower birth rates. In fact, advanced nations like Japan and Corea are experiencing birthrates too low to sustain current population levels, expanding the domestic pool of couples looking to adopt.

A more telling measure of the high value Asians place on offspring is the high level of sacrifice made by Asian and Asian American parents to give kids optimal home environments and the best possible educational and social opportunities. The remarkable success of young Asian

Americans in elite colleges is compelling evidence of the value Asians place on their offspring relative to other American groups.

"Interracial Relationship love does not define race"

"INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS"

Would you ever date outside of your race?

Definitely yes,I don't see anything wrong dating someone from different race or someone who has a different ethnicity than yours.It is just a matter skin color & physical differences.It is the compatibility that counts.Physical appearance is just one factor you have to consider if you are looking for someone you can have a relationship.There are more important factors to consider to make a relationship works.What important is the respect that you are both willing to give to make things work out for your relationship.You need to ask yourself what are your reasons why you are into or no into interracial dating?Then you can decide what can be the best for you.

Thoughts on interacial relationships? I am in one and just wonder what people think these days...

I think there is nothing wrong with it,it is just a race.What matters more is the person inside,how is he/she as a person.I believe that racists are someone should be avoided for that reason you can see what kind of person they are.

How do yo feel about interracial couples?

I'm happy for them,because to fall in love with someone far different from you...seems strange but definitely interesting.....i love adventure & learning different things so marrying someone from different race will give me the exitement that i'm looking for.

I wanna start dating white men, but I dont think they like black women so white boys would you date me?

In my point of view & from my experiences,attraction really don't depend on ethnicity,anyone can attract anyone...it is a matter of self-trust & uniqueness.Try to be different from others.But don't try to attract men bec. the more you try to attract the more they are likely to repel

Would you ever marry outside of your race?

Yes,why not...marrying someone whether it is the same race or not is noth the matter of question here.Sometimes we planned or have been mindset to marry someone that we dreamed or choose to marry but out of the blue this might all changed when you fall for the person you feel to be with for the rest of your life.Marrying is never been planned bec. if it is you can never be truly happy...in my point of view i believe in destiny that there is someone out there for you.It is up to you if you are willing to wait for that special someone.Remembere True Love can move mountains.

Do you believe in interracial relationships?

Yes,Of course..there had been many successful interracial relationships that lead to marriages.

What are the good things about interracial dating?

All relationships have PROS & CONS it is how you handle your relationship.It depends on different individuals,how they see things,how they see their future & how they want it?

Interracial Dating is for someone to learn more in life,someone who can respect others point of views & beliefs.

Interracial Dating is for someone who is attracted with someone different from his/her race.

Interracial Dating is for someone who is interested to widen his/her knowledge about different culture aside from his own.

Would you let your child marry a person with a different skin color?

Yes,why would'nt i.It is just a skin color.I'm an Asian In Love with a European we have different skin color but that is not a valid reason not to fall for someone that has a different skin color than yours.Individuals that believe that you should not marry someone who differs from you is someone whose ignorant & has a little understanding about the true meaning of Love & Humanity.In love we are all equal...

I won't interfere with my childrens decision regarding that matter.I'll respect their decision because it is their life & they are the one who should choose who they want.I will give them the right to decide bec. it is what i want for myself.I wouldn't want to be dictated by others.

This my life & i will live the way i wanted it to be.

RESPECT is the KEY.

I’m more attracted to women outside of my own ethnicity. Is it wrong to have an appearance preference?

All people has different preferences on how they see physically attractivenes.There is absolutely nothing wrong to have some preferences or personal standards.All people do have preferences ust some are not that vocal with there choices & some just keep their to themselves bec. they don't want to be criticized or judged by others that they are aspiring something that they don't deserve.All people are attracted in beautiful things that includes physical appearance of the opposite sex.We all have the right to choose what person we are attracted, whether that person is tall or short,some are attracted to asians ,some to europeans...all have their personal choices in means of physical attractiveness.But remember physical attributes is just a skin deep that fades in time.What you need to consider is the personality & character that makes the person more attractive than just his/her physical attributes.

For me beauty is empty without a brain & a soul that would accompany this,true beauty is not just having a perfect symetrical face & figure.

How do people really feel with black men/white women relationships? Seriously...

Speaking frankly many people see this odd but it is none of our businesses anyway.If they are happy with their relationship it really doesn't matter what other think about a white woman dating a black man.What really is important, is how they feel for each other & the rest just let them stare & analyzed.Don't live your life minding what may others think or say about you!As long that you know that you are not doing anything wrong...just follow what you really want in life bec. at the end of the road it is only you that matters.

Would any women here date an indian guy, i'm being serious here?

Yes,there is nothing wrong dating an Indian Guy.I personally can say most Indian Guys do have a nice eyes & sharp nose that are attractive but i'm really not that attracted with Indians but if i would fall for someone who is an Indian,i will let myself fall even head over heals.It is not about ethnicity it is about falling in love with someone you really don't expect seeing yourself with.

I dont understand why interracial relationships are so horrible to some people, is it ignorance or have the times really not changed as much as we say?

It has nothing to do with time or century.The problem is the ignorance of the people who practiced being a racist without a valid reasoning that can justify their ignorance.We had said it that this people are ignorant then how will we expect them to understand things that their minds can't reach.Just don't join them,stand for what you believe, do the right thing...

Respect & always put yourself in the shoes of others before you judge them.

How do you feel about a man with an accent?

It is sexy....to be unique & unfamiliar with the things you are used to is very interesting.

Why do white guys likes asian girls and white girls doesn't like asian guys?

Some do & some don't it depends with each individual it has nothing to do with the ethnicity.All races have gorgeous men & women that it is not impossible that two different races be attracted with someone who belongs to another race

Does not dating outside of one's race constitute that person being a racist?

Not necessarily,you can marry someone from different race & be still a racist.Being a racist is a perception on how you discriminate people from different races,it has nothing to do with or without marrying someone from different race it is how you accept all individuals as a person & the equality that all has the right to experienced & to be treated as they should be.

Do you believe more people would date/marry interracially as time passes on? Do you think society would accept people mixing interracially by then?

Yes,If all individuals all over the world would learn to fight for the one they chose to marry not the one that the society decides what's right for them...then i believe time will come that interracial relationships will be more accepted by the society.If all will stand for what they want & not just sat down & cry.Speak out for the name of Love then you can be truly happy.
Don't let others decide for your own happiness,don't be scared to be judged & humiliated by others.

Are you interracially married/dating, or do you know anyone who is interracially married or dating?

Yes,I'm dating someone who differs from my ethnicity & i'm very nuch happy with him.We both belong to different races but i really feel at ease with him.He is the one who i can say knows me best.

If a guy is a former racist and was dating interracially, and later married that girl, would it be alright if he confessed to his partner of another race that he used to have racial tendencies, like in the past?

Yes, absolutely there is nothing wrong to admit that you are sorry for being a racist,all commit mistakes,change is never too late after all.We all do have this tendency what is imporatant is the honesty between you & your partner.You should have the courage to admit it because keeping it to yourself will just add up to your burden.Discussing it out with your partner will clear the bridge that connects you both that will strengthen your foundation as a couple.So,to all please take my advice it is better not to be a racist because you might be the one who will eat your words & end up marrying someone from the race you hated most.

Statistically, are interracial relationships more or less likely to succeed compared to 'traditional' relationships?

I don't think so,relationships does not depend on ethnicity whether it is interracial or traditional relationship.It is how we value the word relationship & commitment.The success of any relationship depends on both couples on how they want their relationship to work out.

Would you date somebody of a different race even though your friends and family disapprove?

Yes,why not it is me who will be having the raletionship with him not them.I'm old enough to know what is good & what is not.God gave as all the power to think so why rely your future to others.They think that he is not good for you...that is what they think!what is imporatant is what you think follow what your heart tells you.Remember love is a gamble you should play the game for able to win.Love is win all or loose all whatever happens the important thing is you had loved rather not love at all.

Girls: Which guys of ethnicity do you find most attractive, and what is your race?

For me i think Hispanic & Europeans...I'm an Asian & i want a Guy who can carry me & treat me like his little sister that is why i would prefer this ethnicity for me most men from this races are very manly & sexy.

I am far deep in love with this amazing guy who is black. I'm white, but he feels the same way and wishes to come visit me from out of state. My parents know, but disagree with the idea of interracial relationship. Any advice?

If you truly love this person & you think he is worth figthing for,go for it!Just think first if you are really ready to sacrifice for this person.Ask yourself are you willing to depend this person no matter what.Talk to your parents & try to explain your side & ask them to respect your decision.

Im in love with my friend of 4 years, hes a white guy and im an asian girl of mixed ethnicity. I really like him and he likes me too. Just recently we exchanged I love yous. Its just sometimes he says "stupid asians", isnt this odd? Does he have issues

Yes,maybe he must had some bad experiences from the past or maybe he had encountered some asians that does not have pleasant personalities.Discuss things out tell him that you respect his point of view but he should realized that not all asians are stupid after meeting you that he should not generalized because it is not just asians who have stupid individuals , all races have this type of person.

What are some things a person should never say or bring up if they were in an interracial relationship?

All person has their sensitive side,just don't tell someone things that might hurt you bec. it could be the same thing for them.Learn his culture & race & try to respect his point of views.you can discuss things without hurting someone it is learning how to deliver your speech,how you say it & what particular words you should use.

Sensitivity is the Key.

My sister is dating a man from India and she is nervous about his intentions. She read a lot of stories about Indian men having relationships with white women and later dumping them for an arranged marriage. Does anyone have any experience with this?

Don't let the negative thoughts eat you.If you love someone you should learn to trust them.

Remember that what occured to others may or may not happen to you,why think the things that are not yet happening & may not happen.We are different people with different destiny why compare yourself with someones life.Just trust & have faith is you are meant it will be if not then that is destined to happen.

If you was interracially married, would you move a far distance from your parents if they were racist?

Yes,because negative remarks wil affect your personal outlook no matter how you ignore it,It will just create a bigger problems for both of you.That might contribute in ruining your marriage,your other half will have a hard time because he/she knows that he/she is not accepted by your family & living near them will just make the situation intense that will caused pressure for both parties.

Should a woman think of dating a guy that is ten years younger? He thinks that the woman is only about three to five years older (due to her appearance and style of dress)?

Age really doesn't matter as long you love the person.Age is not a basis of maturity it depends on each individuals,their point of views & perspectives.I known some 60's men who act like a irresponsible teenager & there are some on their 20's yet act like they are in their 40's.

So maturity does not come with age.

"Online Dating - The Pros and the Cons"

Here's a quick exercise you can use if you're trying to figure out whether or not to get involved with online dating. Each of us has different ideas on what is important, but it sometimes helps to write things down on paper.

Pros:

• If you're shy, online dating is a lot easier than walking up to a complete stranger.

• The pool available online is pretty large. I'm able to chat with a lot of quality females from the privacy of my living room.

• What a savings of time. I can talk with many different singles all at once, at a time that's convenient to me, whether it's early in the morning before work or late at night.

• If using a paid service, you're confident that the other person communicating is single and is interested in finding another single. That's never the case in the real world.

• The cost is relatively cheap. The monthly cost of an online membership is way cheaper than buying a woman a couple of drinks or taking a date out to a movie.

• You actually know someone when you finally go out on a date in the real world. Getting to know them in the virtual world makes the first meeting a lot less stressful.

• You get something accomplished each time you log on. You will have a couple of constructive discussions and a couple of leads for future sessions. Lord knows how many times I used to come home from a night out all depressed because I didn't meet anyone.

• If you start talking to someone and it just isn't clicking, it's much easier to terminate the relationship than it is face to face.

Cons:

• People are still somewhat embarrassed to tell friends and families they're using a dating service, let alone an online one.

• People don't always tell the truth online, although I guess that applies to the real world as well.

• I always feel like there are a lot more men than women on the site. I don't know if it's true or not, but that's the perception I get.

• You get to know the personality of the person you're talking to but you don't get an idea if there's any physical chemistry between the two of you. There are a lot of people that I love talking to, but a big part of a relationship is the physical aspect.

Once you put it all down on paper, I'm sure that you'll notice the pluses far outnumber the minus. If you're on the fence about this decision, take the time to write down the pros and cons and I'm sure you'll come to a similar decision

Love Fades Away Without a Shared Vision

If you want to be fully successful it's important to know how to choose the right girl (or boy) to marry. Here I present you one tip about.

You must be aware of one thing: "relationships that has been built on any other thing that is not a common vision of life or a shared vision of life won't last or will be tasteless and you will get tired of it soon". It goes beyond love only. Love has intensity but a shared vision has duration (this lasts all your life). If you want to enjoy the relationship and save many problems, like infidelity, it's necesary to have it present.

There has been many cases you've heard of in which the husband leaves his wife when he gets more money (better businesses, more "success") and replaces her for a younger and prettier woman. What went wrong? It wouldn't have happened if she had shared with him a common vision about their lifes. He ever wanted to be successful, but when young needed a woman by his side too. He ever knew she wasn't the indicated, who could understood him fully, but he didn't want to remain alone the rest of his life. (Well, he could have waited some years more).
What attracted her to him was his incipient success (probably money), she ever knew it but never went far beyond to understand his lonely soul. Disloyalty starts then. As there's no spark between them, they want to find seasonal affaires.

So far you can't deny it: it's important to share a vision when you get married. If your husband is an entrepreneur businessman never fight against their beliefs like many people could do. If you don't understand him fully, my advice is "search for common guy".

Many marriages or relationships are successful because they both share a common vision. No matter if it's not an "ambitious" vision, what matters is aiming for the same things in life. Living the rest of your days with a person who goes through the same experiences is just priceless.

Western Man + Filipina = Happiness

Why Filipina find Western Men attractive

We, being Filipinas in general, think of Western gentlemen, particularly Western European, Australian and North American men as God-fearing, hardworking, and deserving of much love, respect, and admiration. Please understand this the right way, but frankly we take pleasure in being submissive to the reasonable demands of our husband. Western men make us feel comfortable, and even protected, as we naturally look to Western men for high moral and spiritual integrity. Ok, so we like taller guys and Western features, maybe because of movie heroes. While many Filipino are fine husbands, too many men here playboy, drinker, gambler, and abuser. Western (USA, Canada, Aussie, & Euro) man have reputation of treating wife in good manner.

Why Filipina find Older Men attractive

Many girls marry men 20 to 25 year (some more) their senior with good marriage of happiness. I am very serious with man of 24 year my senior. I can say his wisdom, experience, patience, creativity, beliefs, responsibility and good taste yet funny humor make him very attractive to me. He is not financially successful but he is well educated and has done good deed with his life but not perfect man either.

Another very important characteristic I love about Jerry is he truly listen to me, be sincerely understanding of my view, and not make me feel bad about any question I may ask. When he not agree, he explain why so I understand. This nice to talk of anything without being judged as stupid, or bad person. This is most difficult to find in younger man. Also, he earn my trust so I feel safe with how his decisions will be in best interest of our life together, and I will be right to obey his guidance.

Jerry and I talk frankly about your culture view. We know there be some embarrassing situations. This is what we find out from conversation. It will bother him much more than me due to way raised and perception of what couples should be in our very different countries. Here young girl marry older guy without stigma of "golddigger / sugar daddy or Lolita / dirty old man." Here young girl act more mature in many ways than same age girl in USA. Girl there under pressure from friends to dress silly, get tattoo and get jewelry holes in navel, nose, eyebrow and even some in tongue. We wear more conservative clothes and little make-up so we look like older mature woman than we are when dressed-up to go out. ( OK, in T-shirt and jeans we look like young girl forever ;-) We are quiet by nature and make less childish fuss. We start school younger and many graduate Secondary (High) School at age of 14.

I hope this and other frank information I have on site help. You have to manage friends' views there, that probably be most difficult part. I have many ideas that may help that I explain in my Filipina Courtship Book. What do you feel I should discuss in book? I am constantly adding more frank information. I also now sell a book that is a diary of a Western man's courtship and marriage to a Filipina. It is a very frank story from a professional writer that makes you feel like "a fly on the wall" to see most intimate moments of relationship.

Why Western Men find Filipina attractive

First, let me say that while Filipina have much in common, we are very much individuals and you should take the time and effort to get to know your penpal before you visit her, and know her well as a person before you marry. Here is what some of the American husbands of native born and raised Filipinas have told me. American men find Filipinas to be patient and willing to stand by their husbands during hard times. That we are raise with high values of honesty, fidelity, and do not feel the need to control our men. (Why do women want to control man?)

That we view family and married life as first and foremost. That most of us may be called " homebodies" because we desire to focus on the domestic needs of our children and our husband. That (I like this part) while we are conservative in our views, we are fun to be with, and while shy and humble, we are as fierce as a lion when necessary.

As a group we are slim, petite, short, warmly shy and loving one-man women. however, we are not all brown with straight hair and a cute wide nose. Many have very light skin, and many are very dark also. I do not know why only brown seem to be in commercials and brochures. Also, we are not so flat chested as world says. (And some fat too, but no blondes or Amazon women ;-). I can tell you from many years of girlfriend conversations that we are exceptionally romantic, but dream of romance with husband (almost) only. We are not promiscuous and most remain virginal until marriage, but we not shy about sex with husband. We also feel good when we have pleased our husbands. But guys, please us also, OK?