Long Distance Relationship

Long Distance relations:

Tips For Making Then Work

I’m often asked if long distance relationships can be successful. The answer is yes. But long distance relationships are complex and it to work; both partners must be on some page.

Here some tips for making it work:

Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. for example, are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?

Communicate in some way every day- more than once if possible. Since you won’t be seeing each other, it’s important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. Those should occur something). Tell each other about your messenger program or VolP for real –time chat, or webcams for that visual connection. E –mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quality is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand –you don’t take communication for granted! For granted!

Recognize, and take advantage of, the benefits that long distance relationship offer such as more time with friends and / or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality –something that can get lost n the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.

Purse common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there’s a movie you’re both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and discuss it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while on you’re on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person a long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference.

As soon as one of you decides the not make a difference. As some one else is a better match –your relationship ends, whether you live 300 miles apart, two street over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. Most relationship advice boils down to common sense ; needles to say you are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work .

Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you’d want to live together, discussing how you’re going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that distance relationships can go some where and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.

Perhaps the toughest aspect of long distance relationship is this: know when to say good-bye. While this is tough in any relationship, this can be especially hard over long distances. When communication becomes one-sided or sparse for too long and for no apparent reason, when arguments (yes, you’ll have them) become too frequent, when the whole thing just seems like more trouble than it’s wroth, it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship. Either you’ll decide to go your separate ways, or you’ll get closer for having overcome another obstacle to your happiness together.

"The World Of Dating"

ABOUT DATING
Dating is any social activity performed as a pair or even a group with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as their partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. The word refers to the act of agreeing on a time and "date" when a pair can meet and engage in some social activity. In many cultural traditions, dates are arranged by a third party, who may be a family member, an acquaintance, or a dedicated matchmaker.

Recently matchmaking services have become popular. Although dating rules in Western popular culture have become more relaxed during the 20th century, there is considerable variation between individuals' values. For example, when the activity costs money, it has traditionally been the man's role to pay (which naturally causes a problem for same-sex couples on a date); in recent times the practice of "going Dutch" (splitting the expenses) has emerged.

Traditional dating activities include sharing entertainment or a meal. In general, a person may date many different partners during the same time period in order to have the best chance of finding their most suitable available mate.

Types of dates

Regular date: a couple meet for an activity. Double date: two couples meet for an activity. Group dating: an activity shared by two or more couples. Blind date: a date where the participants have not met each other personally before (although may have seen each other's pictures); usually set up by a third party or an internet dating service. Long Distance / Holidating: Due to a long distance relationship, dating only when one, or both parties are on holiday or vacation and are together during that time period.

Systems for organizing dates

Online dating:

Instead of using a traditional matchmaker, online dating uses specifically targeted websites to meet new people.

Speed dating:

Where a group of people get together for several hours in a public place to get to know one another better. At one of these speed dating events, each person usually sits with another single member for a set period of time to get to know them better, and then at the predetermined time is asked to move and sit with someone else to repeat the process.

Mobile dating/cell phone dating:

Where text messages to and from a mobile/cell phone carrier are used to show interest in others on the system. Can be web-based or online dating as well depending on the company.

Virtual dating:

A combination of video game playing and dating, where users create avatars and spend time in virtual worlds in an attempt to meet other avatars with the purpose of meeting for potential dates.

Singles events:

Where a group of singles are brought together to take part in various events for the purposes of meeting new people. Events can include such things as parties, workshops and games.

Religious

Christian Courtship

This article has been nominated to be checked for its neutrality.Discussion of this nomination can be found on the talk page. (June 2Biblical courtship Christian courtship is a system practiced by some

Christian families where two people figure out if they are to get married without modern dating practices.

Christians who participate in courtship generally believe dating is a means of impersonally "trying someone out" before building a more significant and meaningful relationship. There is an absence of sexual activities, or at the very least an honest attempt to avoid them. On rare occasions some may even refrain from kissing until their wedding day if their convictions lead them to do so.

The courtship is a period of time where the couple build a strong friendship along with the romantic relationship resulting in a strong, non-sexual intimacy between the two. The hope is to set a strong foundation (along with a true faith in God) for a life-long marriage. It is not a chaperoned time, although many may believe it to be.

JewishMain articles:

Jewish view of marriage and shidduch Orthodox Jewish men and women usually meet through matchmakers in a process called a shidduch, for the purpose of marriage.

When Jewish men and women come of marriageable age, their parents usually turn to a matchmaker to help them find an appropriate mate for their children. With the advice of the matchmaker and the consent of the parents the young man and woman meet on a date. If they like each other they continue dating over the course of a few weeks. The decision to marry is made by the couple themselves. Usually the groom is no more than 5 years older than the bride. Marriage age ranges from 17-25, with 18-22 considered the norm.

"Interracial Relationship Is Now More Accepted"

Interracial Relationships (Discussion Blog)

Having a relationship is a wonderful thing. You get to learn more about a person, whether it is their family, their habits, whether they leave hair in the sink, or if they leave the toilet seat up. We can go back and forth with the religion and the entire belief system that they go by; it doesn't mean that they are a bad person. But there is one topic that will always draw that proverbial line in the sand .

Interracial relationships.

There are some who are all for it, while there are others who are dead set against it. Hey, to each his/her own. But let's entertain this for a second. Is there really a difference other than a skin tone? Is there a huge significance between textures of hair? What about other typical features? While others don't see this as an issue, there are some that will draw the conclusion that this is 100% taboo. No one wants to touch it, or even "go there" for the sake of their upbringing or their peers. Others will say, "Oh, it's cool to hang out with them, but I would never ever date them, more or less have a relationship with them" Some even entertained the thought, but not seriously giving it a go.

On the other side of the fence, you have those who are all for the idea. They hop over that fence and ride the prairie into the sunset. Some do it for the discovery and the conquest, while others do it for the sake of it being a preference. I wouldn't expect a "purist" to be swayed by this, knowing about that whole, "preserving the bloodline" thing, but just think about it for a second. Walk with me, if you will. Dating interracially and having an interracial relationship is a great thing. You learn a lot about people, and at the same time, you'll realize that it's not really that big of a deal. Seriously, it isn't a big deal.

I have dated more varieties of men than Baskin Robbins has flavors. Why? Because I'm colorblind really. I look for the personality, not the skin tone. I don't go with the crowd, so to speak. I wasn't raised to have that whole, "stick with your own kind" mentality. Even though my family understands, the families of the guys I have dated weren't so easy to deal with. Was it like this every time? Of course not, there were only a selected few. Of course, I was called a "traitor" and all that bullshit, but the fact of the matter is, I really didn't – still don't and never will – give a shit. Of course, I wouldn't touch those who have an ethical or cultural issue with dating someone outside of their element, nor would I date those who are only doing it to piss off a relative. I really don't like those types of people.

There are many reasons why people date outside of their race. Some like the challenge while others want to seek out "Myths" that are stereotypically placed, like the whole "black men have big…." theory. Nothing could be further from the truth, by the way. Some do it for the sake of if they ever have children, their kids will have good hair, or beautiful eyes. WHAT THE HELL? People do this for all sorts of reasons, from the more logical, to the completely insane. I do it for the sake of being happy. Like I said, race isn't an issue with me. As long as he's a great looking guy with a greater personality and with a pulse, I'm sold ;)It's not the color of their skin that makes them a great person, it's their personality. If the guy is an asshole, he can be black, white, purple or orange; he's going to be a certified asshole. A woman is going to be a bitch whether she's from America or Zimbabwe.

Same thing applies with whether they're going to be a great catch and you live happily ever after with them. "Oh, this group is this" and "This group is that" What difference does that make? We all have people in our collective races that put a black eye on the entire race as a whole. I blame that on generations of stupidity and stereotypes, not a color.

Being brutally honest, we're all going to be black once the casket closes and the body starts decomposing, so let's just cut it out, eh? Like I stated before, if you're a total purist, then this is not for you. No one wants to hear about how "superior" your race is or, "How you can't wait to settle down with an xx person and blah blah blah." If it's a phase, then so be it, but just remember, you can be a phase to someone as well. Someone could be going through a phase of assholes. I know I've had them.

So, if there's that lovely female that has caught your eye and she's of another ethnicity, go for it! If you found that great looking guy and he's of another persuasion…DO HIM…er..IT! Yeah, that's it. LOL. It's about the personality, and how you two will be together.

Don't let a thing like skin tone and race turn you off from the possibility of finding a great person for you to spend the rest of your life with (or at least a few great nights. I'm just sayin...) I'm not an advocate by any means; I'm just making a point that interracial dating is not a big deal. It's not the 1950's anymore, it's 2008. I think we have a long way for this to actually be acceptable, which it is in many circles.

So, I leave this open for discussion.

Would you ever have an interracial relationship? Why or why not?

If you have, would you do it again?

Is there any differences that you may have encountered?

Are Men Intimidated By Strong Women?‏

Do Men Want Srong Women In A Relationship?
Quick Tip - If your relationships with men seem toget harder over time, instead of closer, and even though you love each other, you find you start turning AGAINST one another instead of TOWARDS...

Then you need find out the truth about what will quickly stop this pattern of conflict and withdrawal and inspire your man to be a great partner to you again. Find out now by going HERE:

http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/RelationshipTurnAround

Now,are you the kind of woman who doesn't "need" a man, but you're clear that you'reready to have the right man and the right relationship in your life?

Well, have you thought about whether or not YOU know what it takes to make a relationship with a man not only work, but thrive?

*FYI - my best tips and secrets about what goes onin a man's mind and what inspires a man to become an amazingly devoted lover and partner with youare all here:

http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/IMM

So , I want you to tell me if you've noticed this funny and annoying thing about men.

Have you noticed that men seem to go for women who DON'T have their act together, and who are "needy" and looking for a man for all the wrong reasons?

Like lots of other women, do you find that men don't recognize or appreciate you and great women from all the other ones out there who don't have their lives together?
It's enough to make you think that men really don't want a strong, independent, self-sufficient woman - even though they seem to say that's what they want.

Or is it that men just have awful taste in women?

What's going on here?

If you're like lots of women I've met and talked to, then you've got your act together, you've got a great life of your own, and you want to meet a man and fall in love again.

But it seems like the more you do to be strong and stand on your own two feet, the less men act comfortable or interested in a serious relationship with you.
Men seem to be intimidated by strong women.

Well, let me start by saying this:

Be strong.

A great man is in no way intimidated by a strong, successful, powerful woman.
In fact, a great man is completely and undeniably TURNED ON and INTENSELY

ATTRACTED to a powerful, radiant, confident, beautiful woman.

Now, if only being strong and powerful in our relationships, while still be open and loving was this simple...

And this is where I've found a huge "disconnect" happens for too many amazing women -
You want a great guy, you're doing all the things to have a great life, but for some reason the right man either doesn't show up, or he seems put off by the fact that you don't "need" him andhave your own life.

If you can relate to any of this, I'm sure you're pretty frustrated with men and relationships.
You know you're supposed to be happy without a man. But sometimes it seems like men both want and don't want you to need them.

Arggh!

Here's something you should know -

As strange and untrue as it might seem right now, the right man is NOT put off by you being independent and having your own life.

Men do crave women who are strong, feminine and powerful.

Women like this are VERY sexy to men.

So then why do so many men act like they are intimated or put off by strong women?

The short answer is...

When it comes to attraction, love and relationships, lots of strong, independent women accidentally STOP MAKING THE SPACE in their lives to be soft and vulnerable with a man.
And this lack of vulnerability isn't a small thing.

Not being comfortable with being VULNERABLE becomes THE ROOT of this disconnect that keeps strong women from connecting with men and enjoying amazing deep and lasting relationships.

Because without being EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE,a man will never be drawn into connecting with you through his FEELINGS.

And if you as a woman don't make a man stop being his same old self who's empty inside, and help him start to feel something incredible insidewhen he's with you that he's never felt before,then he's just not going to believe that you'rethe one for him.

Think about it for a second -

Could it be true that you've stopped being thatsoft, easy to get to know, loveable woman you know a man can't resist, and instead you've started "armoring" or protecting yourself?

Or maybe you've even gotten so far away fromyour own emotions and the place of love inside you that it's going to be hard for a man to see this inside you?

If you're nodding your head right now thinking,"Oh no, that's me", then don't be too concerned.

It can be easy and natural to reconnect to thatsoft, loving, feminine place inside you that is what drives a man wild about you in the first place - even if you're already in a relationship that feels like your love is fading.

It can be easy when you know what it takes to shift out of that old way of being with men, and of feeling closed-off in relationships.

The VERY BEST way I know of to help you or any woman quickly get back to that loving place inside will not only make YOU feel great inside and open you up...

But will also instantly attract the right man to you, or quickly recapture that special man in your life's attention.

Don't waste your time trying to avoid getting hurt.

Don't clutter your mind with thoughts of "what if" about how your man is feeling.

And don't keep spending your energy trying to make your relationships work, when you're putting all your energy in the wrong place.

To get back on track with being the strong yet open and loveable woman your man won't be able to keep his hands off of, you need to go check out my "Relationship Turn-Around" program now.

It's here:

http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/RelationshipTurnAround

Do you know what happens when you haven't felt love in a long time, and you doubt that a man could ever really be the kind of partner you want?

I'll tell you.
Not good things.
When you worry about:

-Getting hurt again-Losing yourself again in a relationship-Being shut out and unappreciated by a man

Guess what this creates in lots of really sweet and loving women?

It creates a tough outer shell.
And what does this shell do?

It keeps men at arm's distance - even when the man wants to be there to love and support you.

This shell also makes getting close to you painful and difficult - as when a man tries to get past your tough shell, he's going to get hurt trying to get through.

And it's going to feel uncomfortable for you trying to open up and let him in.
This is not the way to let love into your lifeand create the kind of relationship that can last and grow forever.

It will never work for you.

And it will never allow the right man to getclose to you, and then feel that your relationshipis the incredible experience of love and growth that you both need it to be to make your love last.

By the way, if you're with a man and you're afraid to open up and be more vulnerable with him...

And you're having a tough time trusting him enough to truly let him in and know everything you are inside and out...

Your man is going to sense it.
But most men (98%) won't know what's going on.

They'll just know that it feels unusually hard and difficult to get close to you.

And they'll sense and see that whenever any "bump" or doubt comes up that you need to get through together, that you react in a way that pushes you both farther apart, instead of closer.

And ultimately, if you're with the right kind of man, he'll feel disappointed and drained by your relationship - instead of INSPIRED.

You need to be loved and feel inspired by a manin a relationship, and it's also true that a man has to feel this way with you to be happy with you.

The question is...

Are you bringing that open and loving woman to him in your relationship who is going to keephim inspired and giving of love even when he feels tired or withdrawn in his own mind?

Or are you closing off to him, pushing him away to try and protect yourself. and hoping that he'llsee through it all and love you deeply enough to help you both get through it together.

Now that you're starting to see this more clearly, you have a choice.

You can stay in the place that probably feels safe and comfortable - of being tough and protecting yourself to make sure you don't get hurt again.

But you know where that road leads.

Your other choice is to do what feels a lot less comfortable at first, but is going to giveyou what you really want from love and arelationship -

And that is to stop trying to protect yourself and let love in by letting your man get close to you - to where you open up and depend on him emotionally.

This is the catch.

So many strong women are so busy taking care of their own needs that they forget how important and necessary it is in love to allow others to bethere for us, to where we can allow ourselves to need and want to RECEIVE from them.

How comfortable are you at being completely open and honest with your feelings with a man, and doing it in a way that makes it so that youcould be hurt?

If you're not comfortable with this, and you've been keeping your feelings and your worries to yourself, then odds are you don't have much of anyone or anything to lean on or depend on for yourself.

In fact, it's probably YOU who everyone else leans and depends on.
It's great to GIVE, but it's time you learned to also RECEIVE.

Men feel an intense need and desire to GIVE tothe woman they love. And without this, most menwill just never feel that connected to you.

So you can either learn to open up and take thechance of letting a man be there, love you and give to you.

Or you can keep feeling drained by taking care of everything in your own life yourself, and caring for everyone else at the same time - while feeling like you don't get much back in return.

It's time to make a shift and break the pattern.
And when you do, the man in your life will INSTANTLY notice and start giving and supportingyou more.

I want to ask you to do something for me.

I want you to get outside what you've been comfortable with till now as a woman when it comes to men and sharing what you feel, and what you want.

And I want you to take the chance of allowing a man to hear that you have needs and desires of your own that you want him to be the one to giveto you, and share with him.

If you're ready to really learn how to share and start to RECEIVE more from men in relationships, it doesn't have to feel so scary.

In fact, even if you're in a relationship whereyou feel stuck in a rut and you're not getting much in the way of love or appreciation back from your man, making the shift to where your man can't help but want to give more love and support to you, and you are open to receiving it couldn't be easier.

I've finally put together a program which covers all the important aspects for what the "foundation" of a great relationship really is.
When you have this foundations in place, and you know the simple but powerful relationship "skills" that come along with them, getting what you want with a man and from your relationship is easy.

Your man makes it easy for you.


On the other hand, when you don't have these "skills", and you don't have this foundation in place in your relationship, then anything can come along and cast doubt and uncertainty on everything in your relationship.

It's time you got to enjoy what it feels like to have YOUR NEEDS met in a relationship.
And it's time you weren't the one to be looking out for everyone else's happiness, when mean while you don't feel fulfilled yourself.

As you know, for lots of us relationships are alot of work.

Get out of the cycle and the trap too manywomen are in of setting things up in your relationship to where it's tons of work and struggle just to try and connect with your man.

And instead start to find out what it's like when love and connection flows and grows stronger over time.

Go here now and try my "Relationship Turn-Around" program on CD or DVD today.

I promise it will show you the essential relationship "skills" that will have you gettingwhat you want from your man, and build that solid relationships "foundation" for you.

And if you're not 100% thrilled and ecstatic with the new relationship and love life you have after going through this program, then don't pay a thing.

I'm that confident that this program can and will turn around your love life, even if you're in a relationship that feels stuck.

Stop trying to do it all yourself.

Find out how to have a man ready, waiting, and excited to be the incredible partner you know youwant and deserve by trying out my "RelationshipTurn-Around" program now right here:

http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/RelationshipTurnAround

And remember -

It's YOUR JOB to stay open to giving and receiving LOVE.

And it's also your job to get over the fear of what might go wrong, so when you're finally there in front of a great guy you don't mess things up for yourself because you don't know how to let him in.

It's a man's job to meet you at this right place and take your love and relationship to the next level with you.

If you're a strong, independent woman, then theirony is that it's often even harder for you to truly let down your guard and allow a man to get close to you.

Because you're used to taking care of yourselfand doing everything on your own.
It's time you made it easy for a man to love you again.

And it's time you allowed love to fill you and create the kind of connection with a man he'll never ever want to be without.

If you've been finding that the more you want love, the more you seem to accidentally push goodmen away. then you need to read THIS:

http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/RelationshipTurnAround

Want to know what men really think about and want when it comes to dating, love, sex and relationships?


Well, then you're in for a treat.

I finally put together an in-depth program whichanswers all the big questions about men:
-Why do men cheat?-Why do men always become distant and pull away?-Why don't men recognize me for the woman I am?-Are men capable of a real committed relationship?-

What turns men off the most?-

Why do men so often go hot then cold in relationships?-

What makes a man fall in love, and out of love?-

How do I talk to my man about my feelings?-And lots more.

I answer all the big questions in my all new program

"Inside The Mind Of A Man."

And I also got 4 of the most honest, insightful,open men I know up on stage and asked them to share their views on all these questions, too.

Plus I let an amazing group of women like youask these men real questions.

You don't want to miss all the amazing tips andsecrets that came out of this.
You can check it all out here:

http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/IMM

"Are Asians Opportunist Or Just A Dreamer?"

Why does everyone assume that when an Asian girl dates a white guy, she is just after him for money (dating, honest)?

Because of the currency of european & western countries.Most asian countries belong to the third world level with low currencies that their money have no value in the world market.

Third World means you belong to the lower class that the majority of its citizens suffers poverty.And if your poor it means you need to survive or escape.Most asian prefer to go to european & western counries for a living this is the primary reason to earn but due to the difficulty to aveil a visa to work or live there some asian decides to marry a white guy.But not all asians would marry for citizenship & for a instant living.

I can say most asian are somehow attracted to the physical features of the european/western men.They have those manly features that all women looked for but not all asians prefer to marry other race.It depends on different individuals.

You can't control the minds of other people , for me the important thing is if any couple compose by a white guy & asian woman really like each other or whatever their reasons are we should respect it.They are old enough to know what is right from wrong & if there are cases some asian marry for money or citizenship,they should learn from experienced but all asians are different individuals so never generalized if you met someone who cheated you.I think that is your luck & just be more careful in choosing your mate.

Is it worth having a relationship with an Asian?

Yes, if the intention is true & pure of both parties...I don't see that there is something wrong dating an asian or black women.It depends regardig the reasons why would ou what to date an asian if your reasons are just bec. they are petite & exotic.I don't think you should pursue your intentions.To have a worthwhile relationship you should have to understand that asian somehow differ in belief of westernized & european countries.You should be ready learn & accept your differences as an individual. Having a relationship with other races like asian is a very good learning experienced that you can exchange different views & learn one another's culture for more exciting relationship.Asian women are much more feminine rather than other women.And because of their culture most asian women are submissive to thier partners.Lastly,I want to say all women are worth having in a relationship it is how you handle your partner that matters.

Do you think Asian woman are opportunists?

Some but not all,to be honest because of the culture here that has been inherited before from our ancestors that only men should bring the bacon & the only duty of an asian wife is to take care of her children & her husband most women became independent with their husband & loosing their breadwinner is something most asian women are not use to bec. of the culture that has been inherited.As years past many asian women learn to earn & have their on careers that makes them more independent in life,this women have more self esteem & confidence in theirselves while others who has been left in the shadow of the past culture are the women who are independent to men who lacks self-trust so all they know to do is use their charm to attract men & white men are the perfect prospect for most asian women bec. we all know that more caucasians like asians.But not all asian women would sell their dignity for money it is up to you to find an asian woman of your desire just be discreet in choosing know their intentions.If they are always asking for money,beware you have found one opportunist asian woman!

What does ultimate opportunist mean?

The ultimate opportunists is not necessarily a user or a bad thing; it just means a person that tat sees an opportunity and regardless of how slight he will use it to his advantage. Every one is opportunistic to a point and will "take advantage" of a deal or give themselves an edge by seeing or discovering something some one else doesn't and then base the actions they take to achieve a goal on that action. It is not necessarily bad because in many cases a person will see and understand something in a situation that some one else doesn't so to be opportunistic can mean you are unusually observant and do nothing wrong. People who "cheat" to get an advantage or use a friend or information they shouldn't to get an advantage are "users" of people in a bad way. The ultimate opportunist is th person that will use any and all information to gain the advantage; most people would use the common or widely known big advantages but he will use even the tiniest in all situations.

It means the type of person who would use anybody and anything to get ahead in life. We all know these types of folks, they are what we call "users".

An opportunist is someone who won't go out of their way to do something, but won't turn it down if it's easy. If you leave your keys in your car, an opportunist would steal it, though they wouldn't break in. Ultimate is one of today's overused adjectives, not really used in the sense it is meant in the dictionary. Ultimate would be the apex of something, something without an equal. In this sense ultimate is just meant to describe someone who is very very opportunistic.Top honors for the ultimate opportunist would be hard to ascribe. We all know one or two.

I think the ultimate opportunist is someone who seizes and acts on every opportunity. This is usually a positive thing because, for instance, parents and students who get the most out of the educational system must be opportunists.It could be negative if it was done in a greedy way.The word "serendipity," in addition to having an interesting origin (look it up), means unexpectedly encountering an opportunity, recognizing it as such, and acting on it. Intelligence, creativity, education, and wisdom would all contribute.

"About Online Dating"

“Why I liked her profile”

What makes a profile “pop”? No doubt men are visual creatures so a good photo will probably help a woman get online attention. But beyond that, what are guys really looking for? To help get you the info you need, we asked some men who’d had successful online-dating experiences this question: What caught your cyber-eye? ‘Her photo and profile were in sync’“There were lots of things about Angie that I found intriguing but the first thing that caught my eye was her totally zany photo. She had a bright red wig and was screaming into the camera like a 70s punk-rock star… I guess I like it spicy. And her written profile was very short and self-deprecating. I enjoyed that she didn’t take herself too seriously. When I met her, she was exactly ‘as advertised’ which is the key point here. For a woman’s profile to work, the picture has to match the profile which has to match reality.” —Patrick, 38, Cambridge, MA

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Lesson Learned: Men like truth in advertising. So, they want to know what they see is what they’re going to get. Keep that in mind when creating your profile/posting your photos. This is your chance to show who you are, not who you think guys might like. If you’re seeking a serious match, try to make your profile represent the person they’ll meet on that first coffee date. It’ll get you further than pretending to be kooky when you’re bookish, posting a photo that showed you 20 pounds thinner or saying you like to golf when you don’t know a driver from a wedge. ‘She was talking to me’“I was attracted to so many things about Patricia, but the one thing I really remember liking the most about her profile was that it was very conversational and didn’t come across as a ‘sales pitch’ for why I should date her. Instead I felt like there was a real person on the other end of her profile, and her warmth was evident from her words. We’ve now been married for three years.” —Josh, 60, New York, NY

Lesson Learned: Men are more likely to be intrigued if they can think of you as a real, live human being on the other end of—well, their wireless connection. So instead of just listing your attributes and achievements like a resume, talk to the guys out there instead! “Write your profile in a tone that you’d use with a new friend or picture yourself sitting down to coffee and describing yourself to someone, then write from there,” says Cherie Burbach, who not only met her husband online but wrote about it in At The Coffee Shop. “The key is to give enough description that someone reading your profile can picture a date with you and all the fun you’ll have.” ‘She and I had a ton of things in common’“I’m very athletic so it was a priority for me to find someone who could keep up with my energetic pace. I responded to my now girlfriend’s profile because she was also clearly active—she mentioned rollerblading, dancing, yoga, swimming, weights at the gym and ‘highly competitive’ all within the context of her profile. She also said that ‘working out was like brushing her teeth’—she does it every day. Knowing we had that in common seemed like a good start. Now that we’re dating, we even go to the gym together.” —Matt, 38, New York, NY

Lesson Learned: Guys are looking for a “partner in crime.” They want someone they can do things with. So while it’s great if you want to mention that you like to knit and go to the ballet, be sure your profile also lists some more guy-friendly activities that you truly enjoy. Think sporting events, hip restaurants, movies… but remember that honesty is key. Once he realizes you have things in common, he’ll be encouraged to write because he can envision you engaging in your mutual interests… together. ‘She was self-assured’“Aside from the fact that she used the word ‘albeit’ in her profile and I’m a sucker for a good vocabulary, all I remember about Tina Marie’s profile is that she wrote ‘I'm attractive. Are you?’ You have to be pretty confident to make that statement, so I was intrigued. I sent her a photo of myself and wrote ‘I'll let you decide!’ Apparently she thought I was because we’ve been together for seven years now and happily married for four!” —David, 42, Edmonds, WA

Lesson Learned: It’s the online equivalent of “Do I look fat in this?”—men aren’t drawn to women who come across as insecure. “Men can sense neediness from miles away,” says Bev Bacon, author of Meet Me, Don’t Delete Me. “If you feel self-esteem and self-confidence are not your strong suit, do something about it!” But don’t write about it! Instead focus on the areas where you are secure, whether it’s your fashion sense, your kick-ass career or your innate ability to make people feel at home. Confidence is sexy to men! ‘She shared her values’“Even though Tina’s family lives on the other side of the country, her profile mentioned them repeatedly. I remember being impressed that someone who lived so far away from her relatives still managed to maintain such a close relationship with them. Then, she mentioned her faith as important. I could not date someone who didn’t have some kind of religion in her life and think common beliefs can be a great basis for a strong relationship so that stood out to me. We’ve been happily dating for five months!”—Anthony, 35, Wall Township, NJ

Lesson Learned: Many women shy away from mentioning family and faith when talking about themselves out of fear that they’ll seem too serious and scare men off. Not so! Many men hold the exact same values and will respond to your mentioning what really matters most to you.

"Filipina Beauty"

Dating and Romance Filipino Style

This article is mainly for the guys. Ladies will learn a lot of what and what not to do in public and Filipina Western relationships.

The first thing to remember is that girls can touch the guys, but the guys CANNOT touch the girls, so if you are walking down the street, DO NOT hold hands. It is okay for the lady to put her arm and hand around the man’s arm, but that’s about as far as it should go.

There is a reason for this. If a girl lets a man touch, hold hands, or put his arm around her, the Filipinas believe the girl is easy, lose, or maybe a prostitute. If you look at the way girls act in the bars, it is easy to understand that any traditional, well-educated Filipina girl would not want to be seen as such a person.Philippines is a class society, and the girls working in the bars are part of the lower class. Any well-educated and successful Thai man knows this and would not think of marring a girl of this status. Girls who work in bars are for having fun in the short term, and that is as far as it goes. Both Filipino men and women know this, but for some strange reason, many male visitors to Philippines just don’t get it. I will get back to this subject later.

Meeting Friends of the Opposite Sex.

Many people ask me where I find so many wonderful pretty ladies for friends.Well, it isn’t easy. First of all, you have to have time and lots of it. The best place to meet someone is where she works (not a bar). There are plenty of nice, well-educated traditional Filipina girls working in restaurants, shopping malls, as tour guides, and hotels.

This is excellent, as they have a product to sell you and you want to buy. This breaks the ice so you can have a conversation about something you both have in common. Be polite and look sharp(no T-shirt and shorts). If she is working in a restaurant, order your food, orin a shop, make a purchase and hang around a little while. Don’t ask any personal questions at this stage, just small talk. If she is interested in you,she will ask the questions for sure.

Now wait a day or so and then return. Tell her you were just passing by and wanted to stop and visit for a while. Engage in small talk again and answer her questions. Take your time and stick around a while. She now knows you are interested in her, so the questions will start coming that are more personal.You can now ask a few small personal questions, such as how many people are in her family, where she is from, where she went to school, etc., but not too many at this stage. When it is time to leave, give her a nice big smile and look into her eyes as you walk away.

Return again in a day or two. Engage again in a little small talk and then ask if she would like to enjoy a meal with you at her convenience at any place she chooses. She might say yes or she might say no. If she says no, she wants to see if you will return again or just never come back. Don’t worry, she will say yes sooner or later, so just be patient.

The First Date

When she does say yes, she will most probably ask if she can bring some friends along or people in her family. This is a Filipino tradition when first dating and nothing else. Many Westerners do not understand this and think she just wants a free meal for her and her friends or family--not so.

Your date wants her friends and family to check you out and will ask what they think about you later when they are alone. This is kind of like a job interview in front of board members. Don't ask her family or friends any questions--just let them ask you. You are the one being interviewed here. Also, if you talk too much to her friends or another female in the family, everyone will think you are flirting with them, not a good idea. Keep focused on your date.

Another thing you will be tested in is how you spend your money. This starts from the first date. If you ask her where she wants to eat, more than likely she will choose an expensive restaurant. You reply should be to suggest a restaurant that is nice but a little cheaper. A simple restaurant is a no-no,just as much as an expensive one is.Filipinas love shopping malls, so eating at a Pizza Hut for lunch or dinner is fine (not a Sizzler Steak House). Filipinas are very thrifty when it comes to spending money, they know how to get the most for the Philippine peso, and she is looking to see if you are the same. Suggest Pizza Hut for the “all you can eat night,” a very good bargain, and she will take notice of this.

After the first date

Later on in dating you will probably want to purchase a gift for her. This will be another money test. One example: when I was dating my Ex-wife before we got married, I noticed she needed a good watch. We went to the mall and a reputable watch dealer. Now, I could have bought a very expensive one, but here is what I did. I ask her which one she liked. Of course she picked out a very expensive one (remember this is just a test).

I then asked the clerk to see a much cheaper one, which she showed me. I told my date that the cheap watches were not any good. We then looked at medium-price watches and she found one she liked and made the purchase. Now here is the lesson in all this.

If a Filipina girl convinces you to make an expensive purchase when it is not necessary, she thinks you spend way too much money. If you make a cheap purchase, she will think you are stingy. If you make the right purchase, she will know you know how to spend your money wisely. She will never marry a man who throws money away or a man who has no money or is cheap.

Asking for money

Here is one trap most Western men fall into, and again, this is another test.My wife never did this, but I was one step ahead of her, so she didn’t have to.At some time in the courtship she will say something like, “My parents need anew roof for their house, as it leaks when it rains,” or, “We have no indoor plumbing in our house in the village. Can you help us?” or maybe, “My father's motorbike broke down and he needs a new one.” Let's think about this one carefully.

Okay, she now knows you might love her or at least like her a lot or you wouldn’t be spending this much time with her. Now she is performing the biggest test of all--seeing how stupid you are.

Most of the Western men I know would give her the money because they want to help. This is the biggest mistake you can do. DO NOT give her any money for anything!!! Your reply should be, “Let’s go to your parents house and see what they need and maybe I can help.” This is not only wise but also what she wants to hear. She will have one of two replies. If her parents really don’t need the money, she will just laugh, probably give you a hug, and change the subject, no more said for now. Don’t bring up the subject again; remember, this is just a test. If they do need the money for the purposes she mentioned, she will say okay.

Now one of three things will happen. If she just wanted you for your money,she will see you saw right through her objective and will avoid you. Another is she will take you to her parent's house and you will see her parents don’t need anything from you and that this was just a test. Third, you will visit her village and parents and see what they need. Now this is very important and happens mainly with bar girls. If you just give her the money she asks for, she will take it for sure.

Not only that, but she will keep asking for more as long as you keep giving it to her. You are now her cash cow, and remember, she didn’t take it from you: you were more than willing to give it to her. I hear many stories from Western men who say, “This girl stole my money.” No, you were stupid enough to give it to her without checking to see if her stories were true. Remember, these are tests to see if you are wise, thrifty, kind, and considerate, or just plain stupid. A traditional Filipina girl would not take the money but just smile or laugh as mentioned previously.

About the third date and beyond.

After she consults with her siblings and or friends and they like you, then she will go on to the next step. If they don’t like you, forget it. Filipinas won’t rely on their own feelings when it comes to getting serious with a potential mate. What their close personal relations say is most important when it comes to making decisions.

Again, you are at a restaurant with her, and probably a Filipino restaurant, but this time alone. You ask her to make the dinner choices for you and her. Once the plates arrive, she will put the rice on your plate for you. Here is where you find out if she is serious about you and falling in love. She will take small portions from the serving plates and put it on your plate. She will fill up your water or beer glass when it gets low. She will keep doing this until the meal is over. She is trying to show that she wants to take care of you.Filipina women are trained by their mother on how to take care of men and children.I don’t know why, but every time I just think I am thirsty, a glass of water appears. My Ex-wife even knew when I am getting hungry. It’s like she knows my every need just at the right time.

Getting Serious

One thing to remember is a Filipina girl will almost NEVER tell you she loves you.She shows her love by taking care of you. Don’t for a moment think she doesn’t love you because she doesn’t say it. Actions are what counts here and words mean very little when it come to love and romance.

Filipinas also love to give and receive gifts. These gifts should be personal and something you or they truly need. If you want to give a gift, shoes and handbags are their favorites. Don’t go out and purchase expensive gifts. Tell her you need to go shopping for something for yourself and take her with you.After you make your purchase (shirt, etc.), ask her if she would like a pair of shoes or handbag, then walk her to a store. Again, you can purchase a nice pair of shoes for her for a couple hundred Philippine peso, and most nice shoes are under 300 peso and handbags are under 400 Philippine peso. Filipina girls love shoes and handbags in a lot of different colors, so don’t spend a lot of money on one item. She will need more in different colors in the future.

Another gift men love to give, which is not very important to Filipina women,except on special occasions, are flowers. Many Filipina girls feel this is not practical and a waste of money. If you do buy flowers, make sure it is th he right color. The wrong color can have a negative meaning. The two best colors are white and red. White means you miss or missed her, which is great to give when you haven’t seen her in a while. Red is telling her you love her and is good for Valentine's Day, a birthday, or New Year's.Yellow is for mourning, so don’t give her those, as yellow is for funerals.

The Engagement

Now you are both in love and you are ready for ask for her hand in marriage.Take her to a nice restaurant for a romantic dinner and just ask her--that’s all there is to it. Don’t purchase a ring or anything. If she says yes,congratulations. Don’t worry about her parents and what they night say or want,as they already know all about you. They know their daughter loves you and she has already consulted with them and they have given their approval.

The next step is to take her to a gold shop and purchase a nice necklace for her,nothing too big and flashy, just something she likes. Let her make the choice,but you keep it; don’t give it to her yet.

It is now time to go and ask her parents. You should take a well-respected Thai friend along (male) who can tell them about your good character. When you go,take pictures of your family, your house, and any other personal pictures that shows what your life is like back home. Then give the gold necklace to your future wife in front of them. Ask if you can marry her and say how much you love her and why. She will give the necklace to her mother, who will have it blessed by a priest and return it to her. You are now engaged.

Now you can live together until the wedding. The wedding date will be set by first consulting a trusted Catholic priest or church pastor. Then the wedding plans can begin. You will have little or no say on how many people will be there, where it will be held, how much it will cost, or who to invite. Of course, your family and close friends will be allowed to participate and attend.

I hope this helps in understanding the Filipino way of romance. Remember, things are done much differently in their culture, and they are not going to do it any other way, trust me.

"Getting Real: Relationships on the Net"

This is not another article about how everyone you meet on the net is an axe murderer.

The Internet can be a great way to communicate - that's why this website is here, after all. Many people successfully find friends, girlfriends or boyfriends over the 'net , and some of my closest friends are people I first met online.

Because it doesn't involve going anywhere in person, and because it's so easy to be anonymous or control how much personal information you give out, the Internet can be a very safe way to explore and interact. But it's easy to go to the opposite extreme and imagine that the Internet is totally safe or that we don't need to take the common-sense precautions that we would take for granted elsewhere.

Hello World

When you're sitting in your own room looking at the computer screen, it's all too easy to forget how public the Internet is.But if something's on a website or a bulletin board, anyone can read it. And that means anyone. One useful rule of thumb is that if you wouldn't want to put a particular bit of information on a billboard at the end of your street, you shouldn't post it on a website or announce it in a chat-room either.

In particular, that also means being very, very cautious about telling people your real name or phone number (let alone where you live), or where you go to school, or any other information that might be used to identify you or find you ' especially if it's alongside intimate details about your sex life or emotional problems.

Even posting your e-mail address can get you deluged in spam and/or very weird messages from strangers who may come across it and decide to e-mail you. I run a website, so every morning I have to clear out a virtual pile of e-mails offering me everything from penis enlargement to plans for an alien spacecraft. Sometimes it's just ridiculous and annoying, but I've also been sent stuff which has revolted or frightened me.

So be choosy about who you give your details to. Once you've given them out, you can't take them back. Don't give someone information like your phone number unless you're absolutely certain that you want that person to be able to contact you again.

And remember that information can travel. Once a photo or a personal confidence leaves your computer and goes to someone else's, you can't control where it goes next. If an online friend turns out to be deceiving you, or even if their feelings about you change and they want to hurt you later, your private information has passed into their hands - and they can post it or share it wherever they want.

The Scary Stuff

Okay, you've probably heard this before. But some of the horror stories are true.

The Internet makes it very, very easy for people to flat-out lie about who they are. Someone who says they're a 14-year-old girl might actually be a 40-year-old man (or vice versa).

Some people will build up amazingly elaborate and entirely false identities and stories. This might be because they're exploring different identities and don't realize how hurtful it can be to people they deceive. Sometimes people treat the Internet as their own personal fantasy computer game, and forget that they're interacting with real live human beings.

Some people lie in a misguided attempt to get attention and sympathy. They may think that they'll get more support from others if they make up dramatic stories or ask for help with a crisis for example, falsely claiming that their parents have died, or that they have cancer.

Others get off on fooling people they might get a sense of power out of manipulating others, or see it as a 'prank' and not be aware of the pain it can cause.

And sometimes people lie out of more sinister motives.

There are a few people out there who are out to exploit or hurt teenagers or young people, especially those who seem vulnerable. Some of them will use the Internet to 'groom' people for abuse getting you so involved and emotionally dependent on them that you won't protest when things get nasty.

Sometimes the abuse takes place online: for example, someone masturbating while they pretend to sympathize with your problems - or it may progress to a physical attack. There are real cases where people have been assaulted, harmed or even killed by someone who they met online.

So don't switch off your common sense. For example, if someone's stories don't add up, if something they tell you turns out to be untrue (even if they have a plausible-sounding excuse), or if they start insisting that you don't tell anyone else about them or that you meet up secretly, that's when the alarm bells in your head should start ringing loud and clear and you should clear the area, for good.

Reality Check

Most of the people you meet on the Internet aren't going to be out to get you. But there's another sort of con-job the one we can do to ourselves.

Even when everyone's telling the truth, people naturally act differently in different mediums. I hate talking on the phone, for example, so someone who'd only ever spoken to me on the phone would probably think of me as monosyllabic and tetchy. Someone who comes over as confident on the net may be really shy in a face-to-face conversation.

The Internet makes it very easy to control how you present yourself. People can't see your expression or your body language, or hear your tone of voice, or observe how you behave in everyday life. They can't talk to your friends or family or other people who know you. And you can spend hours re-writing an e-mail to make just the impression you want.

Those aren't always bad things. But it means it's important to remember that if you only know someone from the 'net, you only know one limited aspect of them. You may know some very intimate things about an online friend, and still be totally surprised by what they're like if you meet them in person.

Sometimes you'll meet up with someone and find you 'click' just as much as you do online. But sometimes, many times, you won't. That's just a fact of life, and it's a reality you need to be prepared to accept.

In addition, when there are lots of things we don't know about someone, our imagination usually fills in the gaps. And we tend to imagine people just the way we'd like them to be. That makes it very easy to convince ourselves that someone is 'perfect', especially when we're all excited about a new relationship.

But, as the man said in Some Like It Hot, nobody's perfect.

Everyone has flaws: it's part of being human. And no two people are going to agree about everything or like exactly the same things. Those flaws and differences may be no big deal, they may take some work and negotiation to live with, or they may be so major that you can't get past them - or shouldn't try to. But they're going to be there, and having a relationship means dealing with all of that.

Does that mean you can't get to know and like someone on the Internet? Not at all. But if you convince yourself before you've even met in person that they're the most perfect wonderful special person the world has ever known and undoubtedly your predestined soul-mate well, you're setting yourself up to take a big emotional fall.

One particularly important thing you can't tell over the Internet is whether or not you'll have any physical chemistry with someone - even a photo can only give you a vague hint, since chemistry isn't just about one person finding another visually attractive.

It's easy to tell yourself that mere physical details don't matter and you love someone for their mind. But it can be awkward and painful if you decide that someone is the love of your life and then meet them and find that they don't turn you on at all. They may be a nice person, they may be very good-looking - but they don't happen to ring your bell, or something about them grates on you. And you can't force yourself to feel attracted to someone when you just don't.

So it's not a smart idea to commit yourself to a romantic/sexual relationship before you've actually met someone face-to-face and spent time together. It's okay to discuss the possibilities - but leave room for both of you to back off and decide to be 'just friends'.

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Meeting Safe - and Staying Sane

Once you've got to know someone online, there are some ultra-simple safety rules you can follow if you decide to meet up in person. In fact, these are pretty smart moves when you're meeting up with anyone you don't know well a friend of a friend, a blind date, or a person you've only met briefly at a club or concert.

1) Arrange to have your first meeting in a public place, like a coffee shop. Do NOT go to their house or invite them to yours.

This isn't just a safety rule; it's also a way to make your first meeting more comfortable. Meeting on 'neutral turf', with some sort of activity planned, even if it's just having a latte together, takes some of the pressure off, and means you'll have something to do in case you both go blank and just grin inanely at each other (which, believe me, can happen).

2) Make sure that someone you trust knows where you're going, the name and details of the person you're meeting, and when you expect to be back. Consider bringing a friend along with you. If you're a minor, you need to let your parents know about your meeting in advance.

3) Control your own transportation. Whether it's having a car of your own, or taking money for a bus or taxi, make sure that you can leave whenever you want to. Don't make yourself dependent on the other person for a lift.

Hopefully, all these precautions will turn out to be unnecessary. But knowing that you've taken sensible precautions can make you more relaxed and sure of yourself. And in a worst-case scenario, they could save your life.

If someone freaks out at these precautions and starts accusing you of not trusting them or being paranoid, that should be a big, flashing, neon warning sign. It doesn't necessarily mean that their intentions are evil - but it does mean that they're not being realistic or mature, and not respecting your right to take care of yourself.

Not only should you not agree to skip precautions, you might also want to think about whether you want to get involved with someone who's going to pressure you to put yourself at risk. In fact, if someone is smart and sensible, they'll understand that these safety rules protect both of you.

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Even if it goes brilliantly, meeting someone for the first time in person after you've got to know them well online can be a major shock to the system. So give yourselves time to deal with it, and try to keep your first meeting low-pressure.

Real Life?

Often we talk about 'real life' or 'the real world' when we mean 'not on the Internet' hence the popular acronym IRL (In Real Life). That implies that the Internet is 'unreal'. And it's certainly true that online interaction can be different from everyday, face-to-face interaction in a number of important ways.

But the Internet is part of the real world too. It's possible to make very real friendships online, but there are also real dangers and real risks, especially when the online and offline worlds collide.

And in real life - online or off - one of the quickest ways of getting into trouble is to forget that real people don't always match the images of them in our heads.

SOURCE:

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/relationships/getting_real_relationships_on_the_net

I found it easy to interact and say what i wanna say ONLINE, but found it hard personally. I can't deny that my true nature is silent, prefer to listen than to talk, and i seldom ask questions that are senseful.

So honesty can help much.

Speaking about online relationship, i am not favor, personally... as in myself, i will not engage with it, but it can happen as if i know someone online and meet and know him personally, yeah it can be possible, but not knowing and meet him, it can't be...

11:38PM 4/28/08 PH TIME

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