"The Portrait that is the Filipina"

A True Filipina

The Filipina of today is a life-size, full-length oil painting on canvas. She is a tableau that can be hung and appreciated, with pride or prejudice, depending on who the audience is. She is a multi-dimensional portrait. The background, shaped by the epochs in which she slowly evolved, greatly influences the main element, which is a mixture of diverse yet solid colors.

To fully understand the whole painting that is the Filipina, we need to scrutinize both the background and the main element. The background shows us a dynamic picture of the Filipina of yesteryears. She was a babaylan or katalonan (chief priestess) during the pre-Hispanic period, an active participant of the revolution, a committed member of the suffrage movement in the 19th century, and now a strong force in every sector of the society.

She has always enjoyed equality with men, and has always sought and received education. That is, until the coming of the Spaniards that underlined man’s superiority and the woman’s limited capacity², thus forcing the Filipina to take a supporting role in society.

She was typecast as meek and submissive, but was she ever really? Even the world-fabled Maria Clara showed glimpses of an inner strength and a resilient spirit — qualities that always came to the fore whenever circumstances would pit the Filipina against social and personal turmoil. She got through the dark ages of her past — her repression and the rape of her soul and spirit by the colonizers — stronger than ever.

She took an active part in building the nation, and in becoming what she is today.
The main element of the portrait, on the other hand, is the modern Filipina — her evolved self. Having recaptured her original role in the society, that is, her man’s equal, she is busier than ever, charting not just her own destiny but that of the whole nation.

She has become the country’s chief executive and a commissioned officer in the armed forces. She now holds major seats in the government, chairs executive meetings in offices, launches civic activities, moulds the young, and lords over her internal and external struggles, among others. She has braved foreign cultures in foreign lands, and is braving them still.

The modern Filipina is multi-faceted. Gifted with an open, compassionate heart, she is loyal and unselfish. She values love and friendship, adores her family, and does not mind putting her loved ones’ needs ahead of her own.

Blessed with a good mind, she loves learning and enjoys getting the kind of education she deserves. Social issues and intellectual debates are as much a staple for her as are talks about movies, social events, and shopping and beauty products. She can enjoy the company of logic and common sense, and get cozy with introspection. She can do anything she sets her mind on and can excel in her own field. She is the sail and rudder of her own ship; she knows what she wants, and does her best to achieve it.

She knows and speaks her mind and asserts her views, although at times — when she sees fit — she is willing to hold her tongue to give the platform to her husband.
Endowed with a compassionate soul, hers are the hands that reach out to friends and loved ones in need. Her shoulders, strong yet comfortable, are always ready to caress wounded spirits.

She may be quick to tears, but as she pours her heart out, an inner strength surges to the surface, and a new resolve comes over her. She has the resilience of the bamboo that allows her to thrive even in the harshest of conditions. She may bend and sway with the direction of the wind during stormy weathers, and she may cry rivers when her existence is jolted by life’s earthquakes, but she never gives up; she strives not to fall.

Bestowed with a happy spirit and shiny disposition in life, she smiles a warm smile, and laughs an infectious kind of laughter. She deals with life with the necessary amount of seriousness, and licks her wounds with good humor.

Being human, she too commits mistakes. She also stumbles and errs. But her weaknesses do not warrant removal of her portrait from the world gallery of respectable and strong women.

It should continue to hang there; it is the spotlight that has been focused on the tiny blemish on her portrait for so long that should be finally properly angled so that the viewers may, hopefully, learn to admire the masterpiece that the Filipina really is.;

"The Different PERSONAS of a Filipina"

Filipina Women has an exemptional beauty that stands out!

We can't deny the fact that in popular search engines, the keyword "Filipina" is equivalent to different dating, penpal, nude and scandalous websites. This is also one of the reasons why some people from other countries have a different perception on Filipina Women in general.

The Filipina Writing project of Janette Toral aims to clean-up the search engines by encouraging other people to write an impressive and clean entries in their blogs and hopefully, these entries would appear in the first pages of the different search engines.

I've been thinking of a unique way of writing an entry for this project. As a self-confessed TV addict, I thought of writing an entry that describes the different personas of a Filipina by the use of the popular teleserye characters in Philippine Television.

A Filipina is a Real-Life Superhero - When I say "superhero", i don't actually mean that Filipinas have invisibility powers and have skimpy outfits to wear everyday. A real-life superhero is someone who can perform their duties well and are responsible enough to know what is the right thing to do. The characters Angel Locsin performed in the past reflects the persona of a real-life Filipina like in Darna, where she's willing to sacrifice her personal happiness just to serve other people. We have lots of "Darnas" out there like a Filipina Mom!

A Filipina is a loyal wife and a good mother- The Filipino version of Marimar portrayed by Marian Rivera is deeply in love with her husband, Sergio. Her innocence and pretty smile can brighten up any person's day. She is willing to do anything and everything to save her marraige and support her own family. Sunshine Dizon's character as Bakekang is someone who took good care of her daughters and did everything just to give them the best things life can offer.

A Filipina is Talented - Just take the characters portrayed by Rica Peralejo, Maja Salvador and Sarah Geronimo at the TV Show "Pangarap na Bituin". A Filipina can either sing, dance, act or do other creative stuff. Want some proof? Lea Salonga is a well-known Filipina stage actress. Nicole of The Pussycat Dolls and Vanessa Hudgens of the High School Musical are proud to be Pinay. Christine Gambito of HappySlip, a popular Youtube director is also a Filipina! Talk about world-class Pinay!

A Filipina prioritizes her Family - The character of Roxanne Guinoo as Gillian in the Sineserye "Natutulog ba ang Diyos" gone through a lot for her family. Margarita, played by the controversial Wendy Valdez did the "kapit sa patalim" job by dancing in clubs just to support her family. Kristine Hermosa's Maningning character in Prinsesa ng Banyera is taking good care of her mom and tries to juggle her work at the pier and as a nursing student. Therefore, Filipinas are Hardworking.

A Filipina is Undeniably Sexy - The keyword "sexy filipina" is usually used in a wrong way by some online searchers. For me, a sexy filipina knows how to carry the clothes she wears and is someone who is attractive without trying really hard. A perfect example of which is the Marimar Primera Kontrabida, Angelika, played by the Philippines' Finest, Katrina Halili. Observe the way she projects in that TV show. Another sexy pinay is Anne Curtis as Celine. She speaks her mind and she has that body to die for!

A Filipina is Simply Beautiful - Do I have to elaborate on this? I remember one of Nicole PCD's interview during their visit in the country that the reason why she stood out among the Pussycat Dolls is because of her exotic looks. It is pretty evident that her Filipina features are much stronger. Some of the pretty pinays we have on TV include Bianca King, Nadine Samonte, Yasmien Kurdi, Tanya Garcia, Angelika dela Cruz , Iza Calzado and a lot more.

A Filipina is a Hopeless Romantic - Bea Alonzo's character as Jackie in Maging Sino Ka Man can prove this. A Filipina can have all the money in the world, but you know what makes her really happy? A Prince Charming who will love her and will have a happily ever after lovestory with her. Also included are Cecilia of Sana'y Ikaw na Nga, Yna of Pangako Sayo and Via of Mula sa Puso.

"Filipina Beauty"

Dating and Romance Filipino Style

This article is mainly for the guys. Ladies will learn a lot of what and what not to do in public and Filipina Western relationships.

The first thing to remember is that girls can touch the guys, but the guys CANNOT touch the girls, so if you are walking down the street, DO NOT hold hands. It is okay for the lady to put her arm and hand around the man’s arm, but that’s about as far as it should go.

There is a reason for this. If a girl lets a man touch, hold hands, or put his arm around her, the Filipinas believe the girl is easy, lose, or maybe a prostitute. If you look at the way girls act in the bars, it is easy to understand that any traditional, well-educated Filipina girl would not want to be seen as such a person.Philippines is a class society, and the girls working in the bars are part of the lower class. Any well-educated and successful Thai man knows this and would not think of marring a girl of this status. Girls who work in bars are for having fun in the short term, and that is as far as it goes. Both Filipino men and women know this, but for some strange reason, many male visitors to Philippines just don’t get it. I will get back to this subject later.

Meeting Friends of the Opposite Sex.

Many people ask me where I find so many wonderful pretty ladies for friends.Well, it isn’t easy. First of all, you have to have time and lots of it. The best place to meet someone is where she works (not a bar). There are plenty of nice, well-educated traditional Filipina girls working in restaurants, shopping malls, as tour guides, and hotels.

This is excellent, as they have a product to sell you and you want to buy. This breaks the ice so you can have a conversation about something you both have in common. Be polite and look sharp(no T-shirt and shorts). If she is working in a restaurant, order your food, orin a shop, make a purchase and hang around a little while. Don’t ask any personal questions at this stage, just small talk. If she is interested in you,she will ask the questions for sure.

Now wait a day or so and then return. Tell her you were just passing by and wanted to stop and visit for a while. Engage in small talk again and answer her questions. Take your time and stick around a while. She now knows you are interested in her, so the questions will start coming that are more personal.You can now ask a few small personal questions, such as how many people are in her family, where she is from, where she went to school, etc., but not too many at this stage. When it is time to leave, give her a nice big smile and look into her eyes as you walk away.

Return again in a day or two. Engage again in a little small talk and then ask if she would like to enjoy a meal with you at her convenience at any place she chooses. She might say yes or she might say no. If she says no, she wants to see if you will return again or just never come back. Don’t worry, she will say yes sooner or later, so just be patient.

The First Date

When she does say yes, she will most probably ask if she can bring some friends along or people in her family. This is a Filipino tradition when first dating and nothing else. Many Westerners do not understand this and think she just wants a free meal for her and her friends or family--not so.

Your date wants her friends and family to check you out and will ask what they think about you later when they are alone. This is kind of like a job interview in front of board members. Don't ask her family or friends any questions--just let them ask you. You are the one being interviewed here. Also, if you talk too much to her friends or another female in the family, everyone will think you are flirting with them, not a good idea. Keep focused on your date.

Another thing you will be tested in is how you spend your money. This starts from the first date. If you ask her where she wants to eat, more than likely she will choose an expensive restaurant. You reply should be to suggest a restaurant that is nice but a little cheaper. A simple restaurant is a no-no,just as much as an expensive one is.Filipinas love shopping malls, so eating at a Pizza Hut for lunch or dinner is fine (not a Sizzler Steak House). Filipinas are very thrifty when it comes to spending money, they know how to get the most for the Philippine peso, and she is looking to see if you are the same. Suggest Pizza Hut for the “all you can eat night,” a very good bargain, and she will take notice of this.

After the first date

Later on in dating you will probably want to purchase a gift for her. This will be another money test. One example: when I was dating my Ex-wife before we got married, I noticed she needed a good watch. We went to the mall and a reputable watch dealer. Now, I could have bought a very expensive one, but here is what I did. I ask her which one she liked. Of course she picked out a very expensive one (remember this is just a test).

I then asked the clerk to see a much cheaper one, which she showed me. I told my date that the cheap watches were not any good. We then looked at medium-price watches and she found one she liked and made the purchase. Now here is the lesson in all this.

If a Filipina girl convinces you to make an expensive purchase when it is not necessary, she thinks you spend way too much money. If you make a cheap purchase, she will think you are stingy. If you make the right purchase, she will know you know how to spend your money wisely. She will never marry a man who throws money away or a man who has no money or is cheap.

Asking for money

Here is one trap most Western men fall into, and again, this is another test.My wife never did this, but I was one step ahead of her, so she didn’t have to.At some time in the courtship she will say something like, “My parents need anew roof for their house, as it leaks when it rains,” or, “We have no indoor plumbing in our house in the village. Can you help us?” or maybe, “My father's motorbike broke down and he needs a new one.” Let's think about this one carefully.

Okay, she now knows you might love her or at least like her a lot or you wouldn’t be spending this much time with her. Now she is performing the biggest test of all--seeing how stupid you are.

Most of the Western men I know would give her the money because they want to help. This is the biggest mistake you can do. DO NOT give her any money for anything!!! Your reply should be, “Let’s go to your parents house and see what they need and maybe I can help.” This is not only wise but also what she wants to hear. She will have one of two replies. If her parents really don’t need the money, she will just laugh, probably give you a hug, and change the subject, no more said for now. Don’t bring up the subject again; remember, this is just a test. If they do need the money for the purposes she mentioned, she will say okay.

Now one of three things will happen. If she just wanted you for your money,she will see you saw right through her objective and will avoid you. Another is she will take you to her parent's house and you will see her parents don’t need anything from you and that this was just a test. Third, you will visit her village and parents and see what they need. Now this is very important and happens mainly with bar girls. If you just give her the money she asks for, she will take it for sure.

Not only that, but she will keep asking for more as long as you keep giving it to her. You are now her cash cow, and remember, she didn’t take it from you: you were more than willing to give it to her. I hear many stories from Western men who say, “This girl stole my money.” No, you were stupid enough to give it to her without checking to see if her stories were true. Remember, these are tests to see if you are wise, thrifty, kind, and considerate, or just plain stupid. A traditional Filipina girl would not take the money but just smile or laugh as mentioned previously.

About the third date and beyond.

After she consults with her siblings and or friends and they like you, then she will go on to the next step. If they don’t like you, forget it. Filipinas won’t rely on their own feelings when it comes to getting serious with a potential mate. What their close personal relations say is most important when it comes to making decisions.

Again, you are at a restaurant with her, and probably a Filipino restaurant, but this time alone. You ask her to make the dinner choices for you and her. Once the plates arrive, she will put the rice on your plate for you. Here is where you find out if she is serious about you and falling in love. She will take small portions from the serving plates and put it on your plate. She will fill up your water or beer glass when it gets low. She will keep doing this until the meal is over. She is trying to show that she wants to take care of you.Filipina women are trained by their mother on how to take care of men and children.I don’t know why, but every time I just think I am thirsty, a glass of water appears. My Ex-wife even knew when I am getting hungry. It’s like she knows my every need just at the right time.

Getting Serious

One thing to remember is a Filipina girl will almost NEVER tell you she loves you.She shows her love by taking care of you. Don’t for a moment think she doesn’t love you because she doesn’t say it. Actions are what counts here and words mean very little when it come to love and romance.

Filipinas also love to give and receive gifts. These gifts should be personal and something you or they truly need. If you want to give a gift, shoes and handbags are their favorites. Don’t go out and purchase expensive gifts. Tell her you need to go shopping for something for yourself and take her with you.After you make your purchase (shirt, etc.), ask her if she would like a pair of shoes or handbag, then walk her to a store. Again, you can purchase a nice pair of shoes for her for a couple hundred Philippine peso, and most nice shoes are under 300 peso and handbags are under 400 Philippine peso. Filipina girls love shoes and handbags in a lot of different colors, so don’t spend a lot of money on one item. She will need more in different colors in the future.

Another gift men love to give, which is not very important to Filipina women,except on special occasions, are flowers. Many Filipina girls feel this is not practical and a waste of money. If you do buy flowers, make sure it is th he right color. The wrong color can have a negative meaning. The two best colors are white and red. White means you miss or missed her, which is great to give when you haven’t seen her in a while. Red is telling her you love her and is good for Valentine's Day, a birthday, or New Year's.Yellow is for mourning, so don’t give her those, as yellow is for funerals.

The Engagement

Now you are both in love and you are ready for ask for her hand in marriage.Take her to a nice restaurant for a romantic dinner and just ask her--that’s all there is to it. Don’t purchase a ring or anything. If she says yes,congratulations. Don’t worry about her parents and what they night say or want,as they already know all about you. They know their daughter loves you and she has already consulted with them and they have given their approval.

The next step is to take her to a gold shop and purchase a nice necklace for her,nothing too big and flashy, just something she likes. Let her make the choice,but you keep it; don’t give it to her yet.

It is now time to go and ask her parents. You should take a well-respected Thai friend along (male) who can tell them about your good character. When you go,take pictures of your family, your house, and any other personal pictures that shows what your life is like back home. Then give the gold necklace to your future wife in front of them. Ask if you can marry her and say how much you love her and why. She will give the necklace to her mother, who will have it blessed by a priest and return it to her. You are now engaged.

Now you can live together until the wedding. The wedding date will be set by first consulting a trusted Catholic priest or church pastor. Then the wedding plans can begin. You will have little or no say on how many people will be there, where it will be held, how much it will cost, or who to invite. Of course, your family and close friends will be allowed to participate and attend.

I hope this helps in understanding the Filipino way of romance. Remember, things are done much differently in their culture, and they are not going to do it any other way, trust me.

The Filipina Beauty

The Filipina is renowned for her beauty, her caring disposition and having strong family values. These attributes make a Filipina Wife a desirable choice for many single men.

So what is a Filipina?

The original inhabitants of the archipelago known as the Philippines are of Malay origin. For centuries Chinese, Indian and Middle Eastern traders visited the Philippines often leaving more than just a cultural influence.

The Philippines was under Spanish control for 400 years and the Filipina has adopted many of the Latina characteristics and have a unique beauty all their own.

The Philippines is not considered part of the Latin world today but has been strongly influenced by its Latin past. Discovered by Portuguese explorer Magellan on his historic circumnavigation of the world the Philippines was named after King Philip of Spain who was funding the expedition.

It has been said that the Filipinos were not encouraged to learn Spanish due to a change in colonial policy. Despite this the preferred everyday counting system is Spanish and the currency is the Peso.

The National Filipino language is very rich in Spanish words and while the language does not grammatically incorporate gender they have adopted many gender endings. They will use Filipino for male and Filipina for female.

In Central and southern Philippines a handsome man is guapo and a pretty girl is guapa. Further South around Zamboanga in Mindanao there is an area where the people speak a language very close to Spanish called Ciabacano.

Filipino cuisine is also richly influenced by both Spanish and South America (the Philippines was actually administered from Mexico). Dishes such as Paella, Apretida, Aroscaldo, Menudo and Calderita are considered Filipino.

In traditional Filipino music and dance there is unmistakably a Spanish sound and it is considered an integral part of their cultural heritage. The traditional dress style is also Spanish but as in most Latin American countries the younger generation prefer the American fashions.

The Filipino have also adopted much of the Latin values and attitudes. Perhaps the biggest legacy is Catholicism which is embraced by vast majority of the Filipinos.

At the turn of last century control of the Philippines past to American hands and it has often been said that the Philippines spent 400 years in a Convent and then 40 years in Hollywood.

English was quickly adopted as a second language and most people you will encounter will have a good command of the language so basic communication is seldom a problem. Most Filipino people admire and aspire to Western culture, in particular American.

The Philippines is outwardly one of the most Western countries in Asia yet I have heard it said that if you scratch the surface of a Filipino you will find an Asian. The Philippines still shares many cultural traditions and values with its neighbours.

The cuisine is a blend of Malay and Chinese with strong Spanish influences. American fast food is also extremely popular. American fashion rules but there is always a subtle hint of Latina in the way they dress.

American music rules but again old Latin influences are often found in home grown music. Any new Western music featuring Latin sounds is guaranteed to be popular in the Philippines

The Filipina is a product of all these influences both genetic and cultural. Their amazing beauty is a result of the infusion of many different ethnic influences coming together to produce the beautiful hybrid we call a Filipina

How to know if she is the Right Girl for You

Even if your relationship works well, you have to think if she is the right girl for you, the one with whom you want to spend all your life. How do you if she is the right one? Here are some things that might help you.

It is great to have a long term relationship even if this is very difficult to sustain. It supposes a lot of sacrifices from both partners. Maybe you have met a wonderful girl a long time ago and you still have a relationship with her because you were able to make all the sacrifices and changes that needed, to make this work. But have you ever wondered if she is the right girl for you? Many couples after years of relationship break up because they find out that they are not compatible. Worst, sometimes couples that are married get divorce because they are not suitable with each other and didn't realize this earlier. So, if you are in a relationship right now stop for a second and analyze your relationship, your girlfriend and see if this is what you really want and if she is the right girl for you, until it's not too late. Even if your relationship works well, you have to think if she is the right girl for you, the one with whom you want to spend all your life. How do you if she is the right one? Here are some things that might help you: - makes you feel more happy, makes you smile more, help you every time you needed, it is a person you can trust on, someone you see you can have a future with -she is focused on you, you are definitely not on the second place in her life -she loves you, you can see this from her attitude; observe the way she looks at you and treats you everyday, how she speaks with you, if she is glad when you are making a surprise to her; she has to love you for who you are and not for who you try to be -eye contact it is also very important, so watch out because if she doesn't have the courage to look directly in your eyes when you talk with her, something is wrong there; she might hiding something and then she is not the right girl for you -she has to be smart, intelligent; this is a kind of woman who wont let you get bored, because will constantly surprise you; also it is nice to have someone with whom you can talk about everything -it is very important to be sexually compatible with you; this means that has to exist that undeniable attraction between you two, and you are able to communicate your desires verbally; you have to please each other in the bedroom -she has to have patience in your relationship; so test her; if she asks you to take her out to dinner tell her that now it is not possible because you don't have money so she has to wait until the salary day; see how she is reacting; if she understands you means that she loves you, if not and gets angry means that she stay with you only for your money so you better get rid of her -is she beautiful? This doesn't mean that she has to be miss beauty, just someone who wants to look good for you and for herself, try always to look her best, someone who you can be proud to be with; if she has just some beautiful parts that you like, this is ok -she likes you the way you are; she doesn't try to control you, doesn't insist to give up your nights out with guys; she allows you to be yourself; she may suggest you a new sweater, but she is not critical on every aspect of the way you live -she respects you; this means that she would never cause scenes in public in front of your family and friends and wait to discuss matters with you in private; also she is able to listen your opinion even if she doesn't agree with what you say -she is willing to do sacrifices for you; she is willing to move your furniture if it has too, wants to meet your friends, and she is wiling to try new things that you ask her even if she never do that again -she has to have her own personality and opinions; to be able to enjoy time away from you, while still missing you; an independent woman is all you need -she is able to make efforts for you, to get along with the most important people from your life: like your mom, dad, brothers, sisters and also friends -you like the way she handles things; you like the way she sees the world, how she thinks, and her thoughts actually interest you -she is friendly, respectfully, exactly how you like; you like the way she treats other people, is kind with strangers, animals Now, all you have to do is to think if your girlfriend meets some of these requirements and to decide if she is the right girl for you.