Showing posts with label character. Show all posts
Showing posts with label character. Show all posts

Sunday, January 25, 2009

"Character Versus Reputation"


"Be more concerned about your character than your reputation because your character is who you are and your reputation is just what other think of you".

"Live by your character rather than your reputation because reputation can be rebuild but ones you lost your character you are just a worthless puppet in the society."

It is a misfortune to have those people in the world and actually be put in the position of been discriminated just because you are who you are. In other words or so they don't know who they are and only believe in one thing from. What they think is right. Too be truthfully honest this world doesn't seem to be right. But we have our friends which fills a gap and then we have relationships which fills in another gap. We surround ourselves with what we can make right together and we have our opinions on things.

"...a desire to be captivating in the depths of who you are. Cinderella is beautiful, yes, but she is also good. Her outward beauty would be hollow were it not for the beauty of her heart. That's why we love her. ... This isn't about dresses and makeup. Beauty is so important... don't you recognize that a woman yearns to be seen, and to be thought of as captivating? We desire to possess a beauty that is worth pursuing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are. We want beauty that can be seen; beauty that can be felt; beauty that affects others; a beauty all our own to unveil."

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

"Are You A Good Person?"

Characteristics of a good person

This title is really quite interesting. It's like a face with two coins. Imagine a piece of bread that has grown so moldy that it is infested with maggots. Thinking about it is really quite disgusting, isn't it? Yet these insignificant maggots can be a life-saver for those with infected wounds.....


I won't go into how, as the maggots are really not the star of this topic today. However, for us to determine if that person is good or bad, well, most people would say action speaks louder than words. For some, they would say the face of a person would show how kind or good he or she is.
Well, let's study this a little bit.

Rich and wealthy guy who may donate loads of money to the charities every year but has a harsh mouth and hard hand to the people around him/her. Say, like that old merchant from the Christmas Carol story.

Ever heard anyone who swears and curses like it's an everyday diet? Normally, we would view that person with dislike and think :'well, that says a lot about her/his character!'. Yet, that same person may be the one who just donated his other kidney to another dying man.

A gentleman who gives up his seat to an old woman may just be a drunkard who hits his wife and child every night.

Call me a cynic and a skeptic, but whichever way we look into a person, he or she could not be a saint or a true devil.

If a person who doesn't donate to a school girl with a can, stingy with everything he spends, bad mouthed about everybody he knows, he's still basically a good man. So long he doesn't kill anyone, caused grievous harm to anyone intentionally, and still posess a tiny bit of conscious, he's basically still a good guy.

If a person is a responsible guy who loves his family and friends, nevermind if he's a bit selfish at times (who's not selfish? Please raise your hands?), he's still a good guy.

Look around the people walking down the walkway, driving, drinking; your friends and family whom you think you know, and look into yourself. Are they good? Are you or I good?

Be it we are vain, petty, selfish, arrogant or equipped with other undesirable characteristics, I belive in the basic goodness of a human.

Believe in not judging another person and predetermine the good or bad in him/her.
Instead, let's always stive to bring out our better selves!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

"How You Act Is How You Act"

How To Use Body Language To Read A Person Like A Book

When we first meet new people, we all feel a little awkward and self-conscious until we feel hat we understand the other person a little. Until we can do that, we can't work out what people think to us and that leaves us in an uncomfortable position of uncertainty. The key to getting our comfort back and in understanding other people, is in being able to read the other person's key body language signals; believe it or not, this is possible even from the very first few seconds when you meet that new person.

Eye contact is very important in communication, especially with new people. Good use of eye contact, which does not avoid others, does not stare and does not linger on certain parts of the other's anatomy inappropriately, is a crucial part of getting to understand new people. Appropriate eye contact shows respect and it shows that you are interested in interacting with the other person. How much eye contact to make differs between cultures but if you read the other person's body signals correctly you will see how much eye contact to make.

Posture says a lot about a person's personality and mood. Slouching shoulders and a curved spine, as well as helping someone to develop round shoulders over time, says that they are depressed, down, and lacking confidence in themselves. That kind of posture can become a self-fulfilling prophecy as it soon begins to affect a person's mood negatively.

The tilt of a person's head betrays their mood too. A head which is balanced both horizontally and vertically on the neck oozes confidence and self-esteem. You will find yourself more inclined to listen to a person who has this kind of posture when speaking. When they want to speak or make a particular point, the authoritative, confident person will usually lean their head forward just a little bit, but without encroaching too much on the personal space of their listener. If they tilt their head to one side while you're talking, you can be assured that they are listening to you attentively and that they will be likely to give you time to speak and say what you have to say. Of course, this position can change, and it should. No one position should be maintained for too long as that will seem unnatural and can be off-putting to the other person. If someone stays in one position and doesn't speak for a long time, check: have they fallen asleep! That is the impression you would probably be left with!

The placement of a person's arms says a lot about their personality and mood. Wild gesticulations will imply over-excitement or even aggression. You will feel most comfortable when you can see that the person you are speaking too is feeling comfortable too; therefore, look for arms that are held naturally at the sides of the body. They may also be held likely behind the back. Either posture implies an open personality, a person who is feeling confident and who is ready to face challenges. If you upset or offend someone, watch out for their arms being crossed over their chest defensively. That's a real giveaway that they are feeling hurt.

Legs tell you a lot about the person you're speaking with, even when you have just met them. It's quite difficult to get your legs to do exactly what you want them to do, so they say a lot about a person's innermost feelings, even when they are trying very hard to hide them. Leg swinging and rolling of the foot at the ankle, or especially foot tapping, shows that a person is feeling irritated or impatient. The faster the movement, the worse their mood!

You will probably be able to sense right away if someone is deliberately angling their body away from you, even if you don't consciously process that thought. People tend to sit angled towards and even leaning towards, people they like. This may not happen when you first meet someone, as they may wait a little while to gauge what you are like, but if they start to position themselves in your direction and lean in closer to you, then the chances are that they are beginning to like you.

So, even if you don't know a person well, you can read their body language and adapt your communication with them
accordingly.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

What Is Sex Appeal Made Of?


Instant attraction, the power of scent, slow-burn love and opposites attraction.

You may pretend you do not like punks anymore, but no matter how much you try to demonstrate during your life that your taste in men has changed, you should know that a woman's preference has been shown to be constant along her entire life.

So, what shapes in your eyes a man's sex appeal?

Sex appeal is to be found in four distinct major attraction types, the only way your choice varies during a woman's life: instant attraction; the power of scent; slow-burn love; and opposites attract. "There's no universal formula or magical formula. But we do connect on certain levels - physical, psychological - and there could be childhood factors, biological factors"

Instant attraction is linked to early experience and familiar backgrounds. " (...) the crushes we develop when we're first starting to have sexual feelings leave a long-lasting imprint. When you find yourself attracted to preppy guys with blue eyes or Johnny Depp because he was your crush, it really has to do with those early crushes",

This has also something to do with cultural and family background or ideals formed by the mass media that form an internal model. " ... we are hard-wired to like people from the same background as us, same educational level. When you're in the room, you go to the guy or the girl you feel is at your level."

But opposites are also attracted to one another, especially in what concerns the personality. "It's almost as if we're trying to balance out what we lack. So if we're introverted, we're drawn to that guy who's the life of the party."

The power of scent, referring in fact to pheromones. "They signal our reproductive potential. You may find yourself attracted to a guy. You have no clue why. It's because on some level, you like his smell, his scent, his pheromones."

The Slow-Burn Love is connected to a more adult age. "Slow-burn love is when all of a sudden you find yourself attracted - maybe after many years - to a guy who you were friends with. And it could be - it's not that you've changed so much in what you like, but it could be that he's become more your type. Maybe he just sort of grew up suddenly. When you sense that new thing, it really triggered some nice dopamine in your brain and you like what you see and you want to take it a step farther." These factors cannot be controlled by men or women.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Personality Developement


5 Ways To Stay Focused On Your Goals No matter how excited you are about your business, with so many distractions and things that may be going on in your life, you can easily find yourself losing focus on your goals and what you want to accomplish. Below you will find 5 things that will help you stay focused on your goals.FINISH WHAT YOU STARTEDYou probably have heard the saying, "So many things to do and not enough time to do them." Even though that may be true, you still have to complete them all, especially if these things help you to reach your goals. To make it easier for you, just take 1 thing you have to do and complete that task until it is done. When it is done, you will feel a sense of accomplishment and it will motivate you to move on to your next task.ORGANIZE TO MAKE THINGS EASY AND SIMPLETake a moment to put things in order. If people write to you or send you orders in the mail, make 3 piles. Put the letters that need to be answered right away in the 1st pile. Letters that can be answered at a later date you can put in the 2nd pile and letters that have orders in them, you can put in the 3rd pile. Doing things like this in other areas of your life will help you keep things in priority and keep you focused on your goals.CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT THINGSIf you find yourself at times having a negative attitude, you must realize that the way you look at things can make all the difference when it comes to reaching your goals. Even when obstacles stand in your way, maintaining a positive attitude, not a negative one and knowing that things can and will get better, will help you stay on track in reaching your goals.UNDERSTAND GOALS WILL TAKE TIME TO REACHEverything in life, if it is worth it, will take time. This goes for the goals you set for yourself. When you set goals, you should set 2 types of goals. A short term goal such as 6 months and also a long range goal, such as 3 years. You must realize that you are not going to reach your long term goals in 2 weeks. Whatever your goals may be, only through hard work, determination and keeping yourself focused, this is the way you will eventually reach your goals.STUDY AND READ ARTICLES ON MOTIVATIONReading articles, books or even listening to cassette tapes on motivation is a must if you want to keep yourself focused on your goals. Many successful people will tell you that even when they wanted to give up and throw in the towel, a paragraph in a book or something a motivational speaker said put them back on the right track and helped them reach their goals. So if you want to stay focused on your goals, take these 5 points and put them into action today.Can You Hear Yourself Lead? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Do you find days turning into weeks, which turn into years and suddenly you're not sure where it's all gone? Does it seem like your no longer navigating your own life but your life and your schedule are navigating you instead? Can you hear yourself lead? If this describes you, stop. Just stop. Stand still, be still, and let yourself remember what the silence feels like. So often in the world we call business, we go so fast we lose our ability to keep up when, in fact, keeping up is impossible. Simply put, if you're caught up, you're out of business. Business is the competitive pull and push that can kick our navigational system clean out of whack. To get back in control, you have to stop and listen.We are taught to listen to everyone else. That listening is the greater asset. However, we are never taught to listen to ourselves. Creativity dies in the face of too much noise. Without creativity everything in your life suffers, including your business. Sometimes the most important person to listen to is ..you. Yes, you have something to say but if you never stop to listen you won't ever get back to navigating again. So here's what you can do to put yourself back in the driver's seat :1. Start the day by emptying your emotions into a journal. Let all the emotional garbage out on paper. Now, don't read it. Ever. Too hard to do? Rip it up and throw it away. This is just a tool to get the frustrations processed and out of your life so you can move on. So you can hear yourself think again. Sometimes our lives get filled up with everyone else's chatter. This helps us empty that out. 2. Take 15 minutes out of the middle of your day and rest. Just stop everything. Go to a room; take off the phone, the fax, the instant messenger and the ringer on your email. Find a place where you won't be bothered and stop. Take ten deep breaths. Let your mind empty. Try to spend at least five minutes of the fifteen thinking of nothing. Don't laugh, it's really hard to do. Think of nothing. Empty your brain and give your soul a rest. 3. Walk. Walking doesn't just exercise your body, it relaxes your soul. Walk with a friend, or walk alone, but walk. This isn't about exercise, it's about letting your mind breath, outside, in the rain, in the sun, in the snow..in the fresh air. It works! 4. Okay, this is the most important. At the end of the day, spend another 15 minutes writing down all the advice that was given to you today. All those noteworthy, seemingly wise bits of advice that get hurled at us everyday. It doesn't matter where they came from, a book, a phone call, a radio station.. doesn't matter. If you can remember it write it down. Now read them all. Do any of them feel adverse to your own feelings and thoughts? Great, cross them out and forget them. Learn to trust that some things will work for you and some things won't. Once you have learned this principle you will find yourself getting back into the drivers seat of your own life again. Remember you're important too and you are the only one that lives the results and consequences of your own life. Be gentle with yourself and take the time to take the time. Suddenly hours will screech back to normal speed, life will feel worth the effort, and your goals will be realized again. CONFIDENCE --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Every day is a new day in our life. There is much to do today. The early morning sun inspires us to start things freshly and put back our past. Only a handful of us make use of this fresh bunch of energy. In various walks of life this affects the way we behave and our confidence level. Confidence is a key to survive in this world. It is the only key tool to win the rat race in every walk of life. Confidence in ones own capabilities combined with sincere efforts helps one to achieve unthinkable heights. But many times we see that this basic element of confidence is missing in us. As a result of lack of confidence we perform well below our caliber. Be it in a public speech, proposing your beloved, vivas in your college or in an interview or say even on the eve before your exams. This can be due to fear of being rejected or any other reason.If we look into our hearts and think, we will come to know that fear inside us is going to get us nowhere. The confidence inside us is going to take us places. This is because with confidence we can put our thoughts into words in a better and pleasing way. So we have to get out of that shell where we think whether people will accept us as we are? Instead of living in these unending moments of fear and thoughtless analysis it is better if we project ourselves with the skills we have with the gloss of confidence. With confidence we can portray the finer points of our personality in such a way that the places where we do lack are never highlighted. Confidence should glow in us only till the point where our personality is boosted. Above this it leads to over-confidence that is harmful. Over confidence results in unsatisfied performance levels as the seed of ego grows into a plant into our mind. We then imagine and make big talks just to maintain our ego. So guys don't let the seed of ego to germinate in your mind, as this seed should be used only for you to live up to your expectations. Confidence is all about being cool, calm and composed. So guys do u have it in you? If u think u don't, boost up yourselves as your mind is your greatest mentor .You are your greatest helper Different Strokes Of Our Duties --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Life teaches us to live. To live, you have to exist. To exist, you should have a passport to this living world. Thanks your parents, who brought you into this world.Parents have taken care of us and satisfied all our needs. They helped whenever we were hungry, afraid or ill. They were always there by you, whenever you needed them. You almost assumed that they will always be there for you and never thought of how your life would be without them. But as you grow up, age also catches up with your parents and they need your help and support. Man is a child first, after which he attains his youth. After youth he again goes through the second phase of childhood, also called as old age. This is the phase where everyone needs a comfort of a sense of belonging and being taken care of. Wouldn't we all expect the same sense of security when we grow old? Even our parents are expecting us to be their caretaker, as they grow old. But they never make that obvious to us. They do their further duty by taking care of their grandchildren, paying e-bills, giving the clothes for laundry etc. Isn't it unfair on our part that we aren't giving them what they need the most? It is our prime duty to take the very best care of them. It's our pay back time. Lets give the same sense of emotional security, care and love to our parents in their old age. Some of us mistreat our parents and consider them more of a liability than an asset. Some of us move away from them, though our conscience pricks us. We err in our duties for not being dutiful. This guilty feeling is further wrapped into a sense of regret, when we will be treated in the same way by our future generation. After all you only get what you deserve. Don't you?Let's keep in mind that to be a manager, husband or father, we first have to be a son. MOTIVATE YOURSELF --------------------------------------------------------------------------------One of the greatest virtues of human beings is their ability to think and act accordingly. The emergence of the techno savvy man from the tree swinging ape has really been a long journey. This transition has taken a span of countless centuries and lots of thinking caps have been involved. Inquisitiveness and aspiration to come out with the best have been the pillars for man's quest for development. Self-motivation is the sheer force, which pulled him apart and distinguished him from his primitive ancestors. Many times, in our life, when we are reviving old memories we get into a phase of nostalgia. We feel that we could have done better than what we had achieved. Be it thinking about that nerve shattering school result, because of which you couldn't get into your favorite stream or that single mark, which could have secured you a merit seat in your engineering college. But thinking back wont rewind the tireless worker called time. All we can do is promise ourselves that we will give our very best in the future. But do we really keep up to our mental commitments? I can guess that 90% answers are in the negative. This is because of that creepy careless attitude which is slowly, but surely entering into the mind of teenagers like us. We easily forget the pains of yesterday to relish the joys of today. This is the only time in our life, when we can control our fate, by controlling our mind. So it is time to pull up our socks and really motivate ourselves so that we can give our best shot in the future. Self-motivation is the need of the hour. Only we can control and restrict ourselves. Its upto us, how we use our mental capabilities to the best of our abilities. Here are some Funda's for self-motivation. Don't just read them digest each one of them and apply them and I bet it will make a better YOU. The ultimate motivator is defeat. Once you are defeated, you have nowhere to go except the top. Then only thing stopping you is yourself. There is no guarantee that tomorrow will come. So do it today. Intentions don't count, but action's do. Don't let who you are, stunt what you want to be. Success is the greatest motivator. Your goals must be clear, but the guidelines must be flexible.
Try to include these one liners in your scrapbook or on your favorite poster. You will be sub-consciously tuned to achieve what you want. Also do keep in mind that nothing can control your destiny but you! The Power Of Expressions --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Expressions are a way of giving some life to the thoughts and feelings inside us. When you cry, u express sadness and disappointment. When you catch a good joke, you laugh a lot and express the pleasure. Expressions are a part and parcel of every human being on this earth. Every person has the right to express himself. It is only through expressions that one can achieve a harmony between the physical exterior and the mental core. It is a way of giving life to your thoughts and feelings. But not everyone expresses freely. The main reasons are the barriers we have created within ourselves. We always think of what the world would think of us. Because of this we restrain ourselves from laughingly completely, tilting our head, or even scratching our ears! We try to be not what we are, but what we think will appeal to the world. Hardly do we realize that the world is just like us. It will be busy thinking of what we will think of it, rather than analyzing our actions. When one expresses one self freely, it's the ultimate satisfaction for the mind. This is because the physical hardware of the human body is faithfully supporting its mental software. The person then is always comfortable anywhere with anyone and at anytime! If one doesn't express properly, it wont make the sun rise in the west, but it will only lead to increased frustrations. When frustrations increase, efficiency decreases and a person starts blaming the world, god or anyone in general. Well to practically speak of expressions, once you start using them in your normal day to day life, u will get used to them. Also people around you will get used to your expressions. When the doyen of Indian film industry Mr. Amitabh Bachchan came into the movies, he had one eye smaller than the other. He however carried on without being self conscious about it and captured the heart of countless Indians dead and alive. Also Sylvester Stallone, who is the famous Mr. Big Muscles from Hollywood was actually having some mental problems in his childhood. Even now look at his eyes and you will get a rare glimpse. But then he came above all that and now you can all see how big he has become. If you are angry at some one, let him know. If you admire someone, let that person know. If you love someone, let her know, because life is too short to keep these things as secret. Express yourself and spice up your life. Watch Out Before You Speak --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Communication in any form is used for exchange of information. The links called words make communication work. Without words its difficult to imagine how we could have come so long in the history of human evolution. Word is not only a 4-letter thing, but it is something deeper than that. Whenever a word is uttered it is due to synchronization of lip movement and tongue movement. To get out that word from our mouth, a lot of thinking and analysis has been happening in our sub conscious mind. We don't realize it because all this happens in less than one millionth of a second. Most of the times we don't think over what we have uttered. Word is not only a link, but it initiates response from the listener. The word, which we have uttered, acts on every part of the listener's body. Like if u share a joke using a group of words, u make the listener to laugh. He may pound his hands and fist and then calm down. The very word which u have uttered has allowed him to flush his emotions out in the form of laughter or smile. If you talk about a tragic incident, the listener may close his eyes for a second and offer his condolences. Words uttered vibrate on the mind of the listener. It acts on his mind. Selection and thought prior to communication is very important. Sometimes we say things which we shouldn't have or we carelessly utter unwanted words (mind you I am not talking of abuses). These things may affect the other person emotionally and mentally. For us it would have been just a matter of second to wag our tongue, but for the listener it is going to be the only thing at the back of his mind. By using unwanted words or speaking more than necessary, we not only hurt someone, but we also add a spot of dust to our social image. Your future interaction with the person may be based on that single word. Using proper words while talking is just like selecting the items listed out by your mom from the supermarket. You select the best brand from the specific domain, where your item is found. So guys watch before you speak because the actions of the listener may be louder than your words!