Mr.Right , Mr.Right , Mr.Right....where are you?

Mr. Right....now


When we are children, we are surrounded by many things that shape our thoughts, actions, and desires in the future. As we grow into teenagers these things we learned as children begin to take root, and we learn whether or not the behaviors we've learned are acceptable for us or not. Sometimes it's very difficult for us to unlearn things that we've been taught, or things we've told ourselves from a very young age.

Our parents are very influential in this process. The kind of relationship that our parents have with each other has been proven to directly influence the type of partner we seek out as adults. If our father is respectful and courteous to women, males are in turn usually respectful and courteous to women. If our mothers nag, berate, and pester our fathers into submission, females in turn usually do the same thing.

As children we are faced with relationships of all kinds. Usually these relationships are male female, but that doesn't matter for my purposes today. What I want to talk about is the preconditioning we all receive is children that says the purpose of human kind is to grow up and raise a family.

From a very young age we are shown that success is measured in what we achieve. The idea of a "perfect life" is having a spouse, two kids, a dog, and a house with a white picket fence. We all have our idea of what the "perfect' life would be, no matter what the details, more often than not that ideal includes falling in love and having a life long partner.

The trouble with this idea is that it rarely happens that way. We know this though, we all know the divorce rate, we all have habitually single friends, yet we still seek out this ideal. There are a few black sheep in our society that have learned that it's okay to be single, that life happiness is not dependent upon meeting somebody else.

The real trouble with this whole philosophy is that it makes us feel worthless. Just the thought of having an "other half" by nature means that until you find this other half, you are by all accounts unfulfilled. In order to be a whole you must first find that one special person who completes you.
This is absolutely crippling! No wonder single people have such low self esteem! How can they feel good about themselves when they are not whole people? There are people out there who must be in a relationship at all costs. Their lives can be going just fine, they have a job, a car, enough money, but they have no relationship and so their life's is crap.

Some of us out there food ourselves into happiness. We'll meet somebody that in our hearts we know is not right for us, and we manufacture feelings for this person. Even though this person might treat us poorly, ignore us, demean us, the idea of having a lover that treats us poorly is better than the idea of not having a lover at all. Because when that person is absent we can imagine that our relationship is great. When they are gone, we are able to think of "all the good times" that may or may not exist, but they are enough to keep it together. "Love" or the absence of it, can be truly blinding.

When do we wake up? When do we see that the pursuit of happiness does not have to include finding our soul mate? The answer is simple, when we acknowledge ourselves as being whole. When we feel whole in and of ourselves, finding a lover is no longer a need, but a want.
It took me a very long time to learn this lesson. Some of my friends are still figuring it out. To those people who still feel like they NEED a lover to be happy, I say wake up. Look around you at all of the wonderful things in your life. They are there whether you see them or not. Look at all of the people who love you, not for anything in return but just because.

I do believe that people can find a steady, stable, healthy relationship. You wont find it by holding on to every person you go out with until they cast you aside. You have to set boundaries for yourself. You have to have self worth. I went out on dates with, and had relationships with over 100 men in the course of 8 years before I met my "other half". You will never meet Mr. right, if you are too busy with Mr. Right now.

"Keep Your Guy Totally Turned On"

Catch Him & Keep Him


Once you’ve been dating the same guy for a while, it’s easy to relax … maybe more than you should. Noted psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow reveals seven sins of too-comfy couples and offers advice on how to keep sexual allure alive.

In the first blush of romance, no effort seems too great. Intoxicated by love or lust or both, you swipe your lips with delicious gloss or shell out a ton of money for a bottle fragrance no larger than your big toe. You forego any carb in sight and wax every inch of flesh until your body has less hair than an Olympic swimmer’s. You take extreme yoga just so you can wrap your legs around his neck. And it pays off. Sex is mind-blowing!

Then at some point you begin to feel … comfortable. Perhaps even too comfortable. Maybe it’s six months into the relationship when you’ve started spending every weekend at one another’s place or when you’ve actually gone ahead and moved in together.

You’ve decided to skip the contact lenses more and more often and just put on your funky glasses — they feel so much better. You gain 5 pounds and don’t sweat it — you’ll get back to the gym one of these days. As for him, he’s hitting the bathroom with the door wide open.

Temptingly easy to commit, such small insidious acts can lead to a big problem: an overdose of familiarity. These are the little, (or sometimes not so little) behaviors you can so easily drift into that together have the potential to kill off a relationship’s magnetism, mystery, and sex appeal.

“Keeping the spark alive is nearly impossible after a certain amount of time,” says psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow, host of his own nationally syndicated TV show. Dr. Ablow has counseled both individuals and couples for more than 20 years, witnessing first hand how familiarity can breed, if not contempt, then certainly a loss of excitement by partners who assume that intimacy must mean letting it all hang out. But why sacrifice the erotic side of your relationship if you don’t have to?

Here, Dr. Ablow shares his wisdom on how to avoid committing those too-comfortable crimes. “These things are not musts,” Dr. Ablow emphasizes. “You can blow them all off, commit each sin, and be loved anyhow. You just may not end up in bed as much.” Who wants that?

What smart girlfriends never do

1. Giving gifts his mom would buy. Ever notice how guys don’t take it on themselves to surprise you with your favorite deodorant? Yet many women seem to glory in presenting their lover with a three-pack of boxer shorts or a toothbrush. You may think it shows how close you are and that you’re thinking of him, but you also risk morphing from lover into mother. (Ewww!) Since everyone can shop for him- (or her) self, confine gift giving to objects that speak of romance or are at least unique to your man.

2. Flossing together. Do you really want to watch your dream lover picking the night’s meal from between his teeth? Worse, do you want him to see you do it? How about witnessing you wax the 5 o’clock shadow beneath the pert little nose he loves to kiss? Just close the bathroom door and maintain as much mystery as possible. Let him see you at your best. Don’t even think of doing anything on the toilet in his presence — a sin that men are far more likely to commit. (You should, by the way, nicely encourage him not to. The sins of intimacy work both ways.)

3. Drifting into a sex rut. It’s a classic scenario. You’ve discovered what works for each of you in bed, so you cut to the chase and do only that. “Do not believe that just because you’re sexual with your partner, you know exactly what that man wants in bed,” warns Dr. Ablow. “If it becomes obvious that you’re going to be in his life for some time, he may become nervous about telling you what really turns him on.” He doesn’t want to risk rejection. Often, men who cheat on their girlfriends end up having one kind of sex at home, and another, more adventurous kind of sex with their other women.

4. Baring all, all the time. In an old Seinfeld episode, Jerry grumbles that his new girlfriend spends too much time in the nude. That seems like a strange complaint for a guy to make, but think about it. Few of us truly want to see a naked person squat to pick a sock up off the floor … or, for that matter, experience a coughing fit, strain while opening a pickle jar, or fix a bicycle.
Overexposure may anesthetize your man to how provocative your nude form is. So make an effort to keep the vision of your unclothed body special. “I’d go as far as to say that nudity should be connected only to sex,” says Dr. Ablow.

5. Flaunting your flaws. Your well past formal dating. His razor is at your place. His dog sleeps over too. This is a critical time, according to Dr. Ablow, when couples are at risk of getting sick of each other. “We want to be accepted by our longtime lovers as completely as we are by our own families,” he explains. So you think, what difference does it make if I tell him about my dental problems? The guy loves me. Well, maybe he does. But would you talk about the horrible black cavity you need fixed on the first date? How much does your man need to know about it seven months in?

Of course, no one’s perfect, but there’s no positive side to sharing what you consider your body’s imperfections with your guy. Take the maddening whine of many women: “I’m fat!” Keep complaining that you’re trying to lose 10 pounds and he may think, Jeez, the woman has no willpower or Is it just going to get worse?

You’re focusing his attention on an imperfection he may not have noticed or didn’t consider a problem in the first place. Self-confidence is sexy. Either accept yourself confidently or diet quietly. Bottom line regarding flaws: Either fix ‘em or forget ‘em.

6. Dressing down, down, down. “Once you’re a couple, it’s easy to wander around the house wearing sweats and an old tee shirt, or some comfy stuff you picked up at the second hand store,” says Dr. Ablow. We want to believe we’re so well loved it doesn’t matter, he explains. The problem is you can be very well loved and yet not remain sexually attractive to your partner. “It ruins the allure, and makes the bedroom a less magical place.”

7. Spending every night together. The deadliest sin of all, Dr. Ablow believes, is crowding one another. Even if neither of you feels a pressing need to get away, too much togetherness is a surefire way to cool passion. “A woman may have to insist that her man take some individual time, because not all men know how,” says Dr. Ablow. “If he gloms onto you, every so often tell him ‘This weekend I’m unavailable.’”

Whether you keep your own apartments or have moved in together, reserve at least one night a week to go out with your friends. Taking separate vacations is another fun way to add an air of mystery, explains Dr. Ablow, ” because you don’t know the other person’s every move.” Hey, it’s also a great opportunity for phone sex.

"Identify The Player,The Gamer,The Heartbreaker"

T h e P l a y e r

1.) The Player is charming. He has spent most of his existence learning what women like to hear. He will tell you that you are beautiful, and sexy and smart. He is sweet and considerate and pays rapt attention to everything you say so that he can bring it up again later, to impress you with how well he listens and remembers what is important to you. He more than likely pulls out chairs and opens doors. He is every romantic character you have ever seen in a chick flick. The Player knows how to make you feel special. After all, he has never met a girl like you, and he will be sure to tell you that.

2.) The Player is handsome. He takes care of himself and is well groomed. You can dress him up, dress him down, or undress him, and he is going to look good. He doesn't act conceited and may even be a little self deprecating. (Which could also fall under 'charming'.) His living space will also be immaculate. No socks on this guy's bedroom floor. Odds are, he has never missed a dentist appointment or a day at the gym. Appreciate the aesthetics, he works hard to look this good for you. It's the grownup version of playing with your Ken doll. Enjoy.

3.) The Player is smart. He has to be. It's like he is playing six games of chess at once, he has a lot of details to remember. He is knowledgeable. He knows a little bit about everything and a lot about a lot of things. If you have an interest, he will be prepared to discuss it with you. If he is not, he certainly will be the next time you see him. He isn't boring and will not embarrass you in front of your friends by saying something stupid. He is perfectly suitable to take to your parent's house or to your company party, where he will make you look good, by being his intelligent self. And the handsome and charming parts don't hurt either.

4.) The Player is adaptable. He is exactly what you want him to be. You like the outdoorsy type? He lives to hike and camp and fish. He has a standing once a year hiking trip with his buddies, and a million funny stories about the time they got chased by a bear and his friend got poison ivy in his boxer shorts. You like a family man? He adores his mom, and makes her breakfast every Sunday. You like good wine and fine dining? He can tell you the best and least known specialties of every chef and restaurant in the tri-state area, and probably a few in other countries as well. No matter what your ideal man is, he's it.

5.) The Player doesn't pressure you. Though he will more than likely tell you that the reason he has never settled down is because he hasn't found the right woman yet. He won't try to push you into a commitment because he never develops actual emotions, he is too busy trying to be who you want him to be to give a second thought into caring who you actually are. And a truly sophisticated player may very well be running his game on half a dozen other women also. That's a lot to keep track of. He also won't pressure you into sleeping with him, saying he is "patient". Which is easy enough if you are getting it elsewhere also. Which leads me to....

6.) The Player is good in bed. The man has skills. He has had lots of practice! He's got the moves down and probably a few signature tricks up his sleeve. It's all about you, Baby. He knows where, when and how often to touch you. He knows what works in general and is quick to figure out what works for you. He can be rough and kinky, or sweet and romantic. Whatever you are in the mood for, the Player can skillfully oblige. If you are looking for someone who can rock your socks and make your toes curl (multiple times), this is your man. Prepare to be pleasantly exhausted.

I highly recommend dating a player at least once in your life. Personally, I prefer the ones with dimples. They are the ideal guy to date when you are coming out of a romantic relationship and want an ego boost and just need to have some fun. However! There are a couple of rules to remember when dating the Player. DON'T expect him to be permanent.

This is a fun-for-awhile type of guy. Packaged for a few months of pleasure, max. DON'T fall in love. He isn't real, and you must remember that he really is just like that romantic character in the movie, he's an actor. (Yes, yes, we all fell in love with Hugh Jackman in Kate & Leopold. My point exactly.)

DON'T start to think you might actually be the woman to change him. Not possible. And even if you did succeed, he wouldn't be that guy anymore. He'd be the guy that does leave his socks on the floor and is more interested in watching the game than getting it on in the shower. He's the guy that forgets your anniversary.

So, remember the rules, date the most experienced Player you can find, and have the time of your life. For a limited time only. ;-)

"We crave what we can't have , We ignore what we have"

I WANT U BECAUSE SHE HAS YOU

He was a friend. Just a friend. Months, maybe even years earlier, he'd entered the "friend zone" and there was no way to come back from that. Well, maybe just one way. One thing sure to suddenly kick your interest in him into high gear. That thing? Well...it's easy... It's that new woman in his life.She's prettier than you, more fun than you, and everyone adores her. Especially your male friend.
You've never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at her, not even you.

And before she came along he'd had a crush on you forever. Everyone knew about that crush but now he's turned all his attention to her. He can't seem to take his eyes off her. It's disgusting.And you are suddenly, inexplicably, drawn to him. At first you're stunned. Where did this sudden attraction come from? But then, as you become accustomed to it, you begin to realize that your attraction to this person is completely unfair.

Now that he's found happiness, you've decided YOU want him?You have no right to tell him this. So you sit by and watch as the two of them grow closer and closer. You find yourself thinking of him all the time, wondering if the two of them are really happy together.It's not fair because YOU were there first. You are the one he's meant to be with. And then, one day, your chance comes. He confides in you.

You have a chance to steal him away.Of course you do. It's not the right thing to do, but he's already unhappy, so what can it hurt to guide him a little? To show him that he doesn't really belong with her?Eventually, he leaves her.But if you CAN win him over, what are the odds you're going to live happily ever after? What happens if you realize, once you've "helped" him leave his relationship, that you aren't so crazy about him, after all?

Suddenly, now that he's away from that other woman, you see him the way you saw him before. You see that the two of you don't have all that much in common, after all.But now you're stuck.Have you ever tried to steal someone away from another woman? Once you got him, did you still want him?

"Be What Men Wants....To Nail Them"

He wants a woman who…

1. Can be his best friend (with boobs).

Notice I didn’t write “IS his best friend” – that scenario is about as rare as its chances are of succeeding, but it happens. What I mean here is that in addition to romantic dinners, going out on the town and the slow passionate love-making – occasionally, you’ll pull his finger. Yes, I’m saying you need to bring yourself down to our level – sometimes. Wear a baseball hat, high five us, trash talk with the best of them, have a beer instead of a cosmo and truly appreciate a nice ass in a short skirt when it walks by – in other words, be “one of the guys” SOMETIMES. More importantly, know when to switch off the girlfriend and switch on the best friend. Guys can be deeper than you think and sometimes we just want to talk and not have every reply going through the “girlfriend filter”. Show him you’re really with him through all of his manly moments and he’ll truly love you for it.

Note: Sorry girls, this is one you can’t fake. Either you’re this type of girl or you’re not – and if you’re “acting” we’ll spot it a mile away. You know, when you take your man to the mall and you ask him what he thinks of that great pair of shoes, he says, “they’re great honey” and you’re pointing at a dress. Yeah, like that.
2. Has outside interests.

Go out with the girls. Go to lingerie parties. Go play ice hockey. Just go somewhere. Neither sex likes having the other up their ass 24/7. In other words, don’t make ME your hobby. We ALL need space – sometimes it would be nice if we could actually GO to space and drink our own recycled pee for 30 days on the International Space Station. Those of you that have been there know EXACTLY what I’m talking about. “Me time” is very important to the success of any relationship.

3. Has an original thought.

I love personal ads. It’s always fun reading the different ways people try to sum themselves up in the allotted space. I have read a LOT of them. I have to tell you that NINETY percent of them are damn near identical.

QUOTES: “Must love dogs” – “Live life to the fullest” – “Love like you’ve never been hurt” - “Dance like nobody’s watching” blahdy blah blah blah. My favorite: “I’m SUCH a Carrie!!” Really? That’s the best you can come up with? You’re out there looking for a date and hopefully you have a lot to offer and the best you can come up with is “I’m such a Carrie”?? I really doubt “Carrie” would write a personal ad describing herself as some pre-packaged TV character from a show that at its peak was mediocre at best.

INTERESTS: “Desperate Housewives” (vomit), “Sex and the City”(overrated), “Grey’s Anatomy” (yawn…ducking), Dave Matthews Band (ducking and running) “Long walks on the beach” - Long walks on the beach??? You live in NEBRASKA. Now if you lived on Long Island or any other COASTAL REGION, I could buy it.

Ok, I’m kidding. Sort of. By all means, have your girly shows and interests, but show me your brains too. I want to know you’ve read something other than the latest issue of US! Weekly. I want to (rarely) be able to intelligently discuss world events, politics or even Shakespeare without the phrase “oh, he reminds me of Big” ever coming into the conversation. Smart women are sexy as hell. For me personally, I am a total trivia dork and any girl that can hang with me gets mad bonus points. The flip side of this coin? ESPECIALLY when it comes to politics – don’t be one of those stubborn people that believes your views are the only RIGHT views. That is just complete ignorance and a total turn off. I like to call it “being confident in your ignorance”.
4. Knows how to pick her battles.

Everybody fights at some point. I refuse to ever be in a relationship (again) where arguing or fighting is a regular occurrence. Any of you that are in a relationship right now where that is “normal”. Get out. It’s not. Stop justifying it. But, since even the best of friends, family and loved ones will eventually throw down – make sure it’s something that’s worth it. If I tell you I’ll be home by 11 and I show up at 12:30 and I didn’t call, let it go. If I tell you I’ll be home by 11 and I show up at noon the next day with a hickey – pick THAT battle. Now that’s a little extreme I guess – so let’s go with the old toilet seat. Now I was raised (for the most part) by my mother – so I am very well trained. But seriously, is a split second glance to make sure it’s down is that so difficult? Now if it’s down and he’s just peeing all over it – pick THAT battle. It seems so simple to me but for some people it’s damn near impossible. Stop and think to yourself if what your mad about is REALLY worth the argument, the harsh words, the hours or days of silent treatment – most of the time, it isn’t. Most of the time you’re actually mad about something entirely different that is a much bigger problem than what you are picking this fight about. Which leads me to…

5. Is an excellent communicator.

Oh this one is HUGE. You women LOVE to think we can read your mind. I’m going to let you in on a little secret: We can’t. I was dating this girl once and she came out of the bathroom completely naked and says to me, “What do you think?” I began to have an immediate panic attack. Here’s what went through my head in 1.2 seconds flat:

“oh fuck. I’m usually really good at this game, but she’s naked. So it’s not the shoes, not the outfit. Hair is the same. She hasn’t been tanning. Nothing new looks pierced. No tattoos. It can’t be as simple “I think you’re hot let’s fuck”….naaaah….don’t fall for that one dumbass. Nails done? Nope. Waxed? Nope. Shit hurry up she’s GONNA KNOW YOU DON’T KNOW….”

And then it was over. I took too long.

She says, “oh my god, how can you NOT notice??”

She had tweezed a few eyebrow hairs.

Seriously.

Again, I use the silly example. Communication is so important. If you aren’t going to tell me anything and everything that I need to know in order to better understand you and you leave me to make my own assumptions, chance are high that I’m gonna get some shit wrong. Tell me immediately if I’ve said something that has hurt your feelings and tell me why if it’s not obvious and I’ll apologize on the spot. Don’t give me the “whatever” and go off and pout and expect me to “just know” and then scream at me 5 hours later because I left the toilet seat up. Also, the same goes for sex. And on the “non-arguing” end of it, don’t be afraid to engage me in a debate.

As a matter of fact, PLEASE DO! I love a good debate and I’m open to being taken to school by somebody and learning new things and possibly changing my point of view. An intelligent debate makes a mighty fine aphrodisiac…
6. Loves herself.

This one is pretty simple. You ladies like confident men. Well it goes both ways. We are all our own worst critics and you women are spoonfed – check that – dumptruckfed nearly impossible images of the female form everywhere you turn. So it’s tougher for you, I get that. But if we’ve made it to date #2 – chances are very high that you’ve passed the physical portion of the dating audition. Now if we get to date #whatever date we get naked – and I pull off your dress and find you squeezed into an XS wetsuit that I unzip and suddenly there’s 3 of you where there once was just one – we may have a problem. Seriously though, curves are sexy, freckles are cute, scars are even hotter and any woman worthy of calling herself a real woman has a few stretch marks – we really don’t care.

We REALLY don’t. If we’re naked, I’m not contemplating a Vanity Fair cover shoot – I want to connect with you. But I also want to feel and explore every inch of you before I do and it’s YOU that made me want you…and that’s hard to do with someone that is constantly putting themselves down, pointing out their flaws or fishing for compliments. Take pride in the woman you are and I promise I’ll make you feel like one.

7. Loves me.

I kind if have to make this one personal because I can’t speak for every guy. By “loves me”, I mean you really have to love ME. The whole package. I’m well aware that there are some men out there that have it all – looks, personality, hot body, loaded – I am not one of those guys. I never have been and never will be. But don’t mistake that for a lack of confidence. I am very confident in what I DO have to offer.

I consider myself to be slightly better than average looking if I’m being honest with myself and I’m built like the Pillsbury Dough Boy with about the same shade of white for skin color. And yes, I make that noise if you poke my belly. Beyond the average looks and the lack of shape I’m in – I LOVE ME.

I have gone through more up and downs and lived the shit out of my life and I have finally become the man I want to be. I’m a little bit funny, have a larger than life personality, just about everyone I meet thinks I’m a pretty damn cool guy, I’m very smart, creative, I’m an awesome listener, I have huge arms that will make you feel tiny and safe, an excellent lover, awesome kissable lips and I can write ridiculously long run-on sentences. Oh, and I’m quite modest.

So you see, the upside of me far outweighs the downside of me – and I need someone that sees that and ultimately will love me for it.
8. Has a high sex drive and a firm grasp of her inhibitions (or lack thereof).

Great sex is one of the best things in the world. “Great” being the keyword. Anybody can go through the motions, roll over and go to sleep. However, variety, experimentation and having an open mind in the bedroom/kitchen/balcony/elevator/public library can go a long way to making a great relationship that much better. Role-playing, laughing at a trashy porno, fantasy fulfillment, and garden tools are all perfectly healthy for your sex life and encouraged so as to avoid the dreaded “routine”. Routine can kill even the best of relationships. In other words ladies, you don’t have to keep your toys hidden in your panty drawer or that special box under the bed anymore. We wanna watch! Really, we do.

9. Is capable of and understands compromise.

This one is pretty self-explanatory. A day at the mall = a day at the ballpark. A chick flick = a guy flick. Take turns sharing each other’s interests. It’s not all about either of you. It’s about both of you. If I plan a weekend consisting of driving the countryside, a picnic, antiquing and a bed & breakfast somewhere romantic for you – it’s your turn – figure out all by yourself a weekend of things I enjoy and you plan it. If I like the hunter green paint for the den and you like the periwinkle, we get the seafoam. The best relationships thrive on small sacrifices and compromise – without complaint.

10. She wants “the swing” too.

That says “the” swing not “to” swing. However, more power to swingers – I know a few and their relationships seem to work better than most. But that’s another blog entirely. Anyone that is a TRUE "T. Blog" fan will remember what “the swing” is. I posted a blog a LONG time ago trying to answer a similar question: “(T. Brad) What are you looking for in a woman?) I call it “the swing”. I’ll admit it sounds uber-cheesy, but it’s true. I am looking for someone that I can be with 20 years from now sitting on a porch swing overlooking the water and holding hands and making out or just rocking back and forth in silence with a sly grins on our faces because we both just “know”. If my grandfather were still alive today, he’d be on that swing next to my grandmother at this very moment and they’d be holding hands and smiling…

They were married for 50 years – till death did they part. They are my proof that great lifelong relationships can happen. So yeah, I call it “the swing”. I want that.

"FOR MEN"

Real Men Laws

Law 1. Never put your hands on a woman. NEVER!

Law 2. Never cheat on a woman.

Law 3. Give women the respect they deserve.

Law 4. Love is not sex. Sex is a part of Love. You can’t fall in love because of her sex.

Law 5. Try your best not to make a woman feel emotional and stressed out.

Law 6. Women like to go out not stay in.

Law 7. Having a sensitive side helps. Don’t be afraid to show it.

Law 8. Flirting with other women is cheating unless the both of you are swingers.

Law 9. Be a good role model. What keeps you positive might keep her positive.

Law 10. Compliment her. Make her feel good about herself and the relationship.

Law 11. Never argue.

A. In a argument she will always be right.

B. If you feel that you are right, show proof with great evidence.

C. Don’t leave her hanging when you show proof. Tell her why you did it.

Law 12. Include her in everything you do.

A. What goes on at work.

B. Special parties.

C. Etc.

Law 13. Patience is a virtue.

Law 14. Never show Love with gifts. Show appreciation with gifts.

Law 15. Clubbing is optional but…

A. No dancing with other women (unless its an open relationship).

B. If she wants to tag along, let her.

C. If your friends talk about you, they are not men.

D. Be at the club at 10pm, be home by 1-2am. After 2am, she is pissed.

Law 16. Try your best to do some of the things she wants to do.

Law 17. Cuddling does not make you soft.

Law 18. Make sure to leave a note or message when you are going somewhere she doesn’t know about yet.

Law 19. If you Love her, tell her you do and tell her more than once.

Law 20. Marriage is really all up to you.

These Laws apply to all men in starting and continuous relationships, also marriage.

"Why Men Pull Men Away‏ In a Relationship"

3 Ways Women Accidentally Push Men Away‏

If you want to know the fastest way tobecome the kind of woman a man wants to LOVE andSTAY with.

Have you ever had a man break up with you orpull away all of a sudden? And you had no clue as to what caused it tohappen? Because as far as you could tell, everythingwas going great. You were spending tons of time together. Youhad an amazing "connection". And you KNEW that hisfeelings for you were real.

He might have even said the "L" word to youmore than a few times. LOVE. But for some reason, he just pulled away oneday. And it left you breathless and wonderingwhat had just happened. As the smoke cleared... and you startedthinking back on it, you remembered that hisbehavior HAD changed awhile back. And when it first did, it worried you.Actually, it worried you a lot. But you tried to ignore it.

And when you did say something to him about it,after it had been "eating at you" for a while, itonly seemed to make things between you worse. And he certainly didn't agree with orunderstand where you were coming from or what youwere upset about or afraid of.

So you tried to put it out of your mind andforget about it and hoped that it would just "goaway" on its own. But the more you did this, the more upset andfrustrated you got, because you STILL felt likesomething wasn't quite right underneath thesurface.

Something was going on inside him.Something was making him withdraw from youphysically and emotionally. Something had happened... and he was feelingand acting differently with you as a result. Something was wrong and you just couldn't putyour finger on what it was. And THAT is when things started to go from badto worse, and you started to feel and act OUT OF CONTROL.

The thoughts and feelings you were havingoverwhelmed you with FEAR. FEAR that he might not find you as attractiveas he used to. FEAR that maybe there was someone else he wasinterested in. And ultimately, the FEAR that he was gettingready to leave you... and you would lose him...forever.

So, to try and combat this fear, you started toact in ways that you NEVER would have actedotherwise. Ways that even YOU didn't like aboutyourself, and are probably even a little bitashamed to admit to now. You started to see that even though it wassomething you saw going on with HIM that was atthe root of the problem... YOU were the one whowas reacting in ways that were tearing yourrelationship apart.

YOU couldn't let go of the fear that wasfilling up inside you. And as a result, you shut yourself off from himand from the pain to try and protect yourself. But he wasn't able to pull you up from thisplace of anxiety and frustration by reassuring youand giving you more love and understanding. Andthings eventually got even worse as he pulledfurther away.

In a way, your feelings and actions actuallycaused the final breakup that you had feared tobegin with. Does this situation sound familiar to you?

Have you ever felt so out of control oroverwhelmed with a man that you ended up actuallyhelping along the very situation you feared most? Such as him LEAVING. When a man you're with starts to act"differently" - maybe he seems less interested inyou, or doesn't want to talk as much, or startshanging out with his friends more - it can be veryscary. Immediately you think to yourself "What did Ido to make him upset or angry?" or "How can I 'gethim back' close to me again?" That's only natural and understandable. However, acting out in a negative, emotionally-charged way only sets off a severereaction where you might begin to act or thinkin destructive ways.

Some women even try and "pre-empt" the pain orfear that they feel by pulling away or getting distant FIRST.

Here are 3 of the most common ways women letfear get the better of them and end up making menwant to pull away:

1. Becoming intensely negative, and accusing aman of abandoning them or wanting to leave when heacts "distant". This could be statements like,"You don't love me anymore, do you?""I know you're thinking of breaking up with me.""I can't stand how you're acting lately."

2. Finding ways to hurt or reject the man they'rewith inside the relationship before he can hurtTHEM (this might include belittling, name-calling,"nagging")

3. Acting out in ways that are sure to destroythe relationship... such as cheating. If you've seen other women go through this, oryou've done these yourself, then you already KNOWthat these ways of dealing with problems, fear, orinsecurity only get you farther away from what youwant - love and a more secure relationship.

And sure, there's almost nothing morefrustrating than being dedicated and committed toa relationship, and then seeing that the otherperson isn't as committed as you are. You mightfind yourself SO hurt or afraid because of this,that YOU become the one whose emotions andbehavior push you even farther apart.

It's enough to make you feel hopelesssometimes. Like you'll NEVER have a real and lovingrelationship. Well, the reality is there's something you CANdo that's CERTAIN to get rid of the fears andinsecurities that drive you and a man apart duringthe most critical of times. There's a way to get rid of that hopeless,frustrated, fearful, and reactive place inside youthat keeps you further away from experiencing truelove and a lasting relationship with a man.

And there's a proven way to make a man feel soAMAZING when he's with you that a man will KNOWonce and for all that you are THE ONE WOMAN FOR HIM.

You should need to learn how to bringout the natural and "magical" qualities youALREADY HAVE inside yourself that a man will be"magnetically" drawn to when he sees them in you(such as confidence, high self-esteem, humor,emotional "fitness")...

These are the kinds of things that BUILD attraction and connection in a relationship. I also show you exactly how to move past thefear, insecurity, and the "emptiness" you might befeeling that you think comes from not having theright relationship you want in your life rightnow. The truth is, you can't rely on a man to fillALL your needs for love and happiness. No one but you can start yourself down that path.

And he certainly isn't going to figure out howa relationship SHOULD work, and the best way tomake love last... and guide you through it. I think you know that this is VERY UNLIKELY. A man doesn't have all the power to give youlove, or to take it away from you. He only has the power to SHARE LOVE with you.But you have to know YOUR PART in love BEFORE love can last. YOU have the power to create this for yourself,and guide yourself to the love life you've always wanted. It starts with you.

Don't let what a man doesn't know, what he doesn't get, or your own fears stand in your wayof experiencing true and lasting love. It's time you start seeing past all the thingsthat are happening on the surface in your lovelife... and get to what's going on on a DEEPER LEVEL.

In my "Ready For Love" program I take youthrough exactly what you need to know and whatthis "deeper level" is. You'll learn to takecontrol of your feelings and regain the innerstrength that you may be missing right now. You know that you can't "solve" yourrelationship problems simply by telling a man howhe makes you feel - and then hoping he figures outthe rest of it.

It never works... and you KNOW it. And if you're getting in your OWN way andCAUSING the man in your life to pull away fromyou, then just trying to change the things you'resaying on the surface isn't going to make thingsthat much better, either.

You've tried all this, and it hasn't worked. It's time to get your own personal andemotional FOUNDATION together, so that when theright man is next to you, you'll not only"naturally" do and say things right, but you'll FEEL confident and make great things happen as aresult.

When you don't have this foundation togetherfor yourself, it doesn't matter WHAT you try andsay or do to a man... it doesn't come across theright way. No matter how much you want things towork he'll still be able to "see through you" andsee the insecurity, anxiety, or lack ofconfidence. And he'll walk the other way. I'm sure you've heard only 10% of ourcommunication is direct and verbal.

That's why, when you DO have your ownfoundation in order, and you're in touch with yourown powerful and attractive "essence"... thenwithout having to talk or convince him to staywith you, a man will FEEL this way and know thathe wants this for himself. I want you to watch some free video Clips thatwill show you exactly how to get back to your own"center" and foundation in my "Ready For Love"program here:

http://www.catchhimkeephim.com/ReadyForLove

And as with all my programs, if you go to thelink below now, I'll ship you a free copy of thisprogram for a full 30 days to let you try it out. Inner changes - and important changes - taketime, so I'd like to give you that gift of time.Time to try out the program.

Time to learn alittle more about yourself. And time to startdown a path in your life that will lead to a muchmore enriching relationship. If you get the results you want from it, goahead and keep it, and I'll bill you in a fewsmall easy payments. If you don't, just send it back to me andyou'll pay nothing. Not a cent. But I'm bettingyou won't, once you start to feel more centeredand in control of your emotions and your lovelife.

Make the decision to move past your fears,"hang-ups", and insecurities today... and buildyour own foundation for true and lasting love bybecoming the woman a man can't help but love andcare for. All the details about "Ready For Love", andexactly what's in it is here:

http://www.catchhimkeephim.com/ReadyForLove

P.S. Make a commitment to yourself to finally let go of the old bad feelings, the deep-set issues, the pain that's standing in the way of truly being PRESENT in your relationships.Go here now and order a copy of my "Ready ForLove" program and get your emotional life ona healthy and POSITIVE track. I can help you start this process today:

http://www.catchhimkeephim.com/ReadyForLove

12 Things A Woman Does That Men Find Irresistible

What exactly does a man find attractive… attractive enough to find a woman completely irresistible even deep into a long-term relationship?

And why are men so quick to dismiss a woman over just the smallest things?

I’ve had the privilege of dating some beautiful women and I’ve been in relationships with some pretty amazing women.

I’ve been in “circle” relationships (relationships with two or more bisexual woman) one on one relationships, open, closed and everything in between relationships.

Yeah, I was that guy… that idiot jerk.

I’m not saying this to “brag”, but no matter how beautiful a woman is, no matter how intelligent, no matter how fun, unless she understands how to be completely IRRESISTIBLE to a man, she will continue to have men pull away from her, close down and think about leaving her.

By the way, before I get to the 12 things, if you’re interested in learning the 5 addictive habits that most women get addicted to that ruin a perfectly good relationship, I wrote an awesome FREE report called “Relationship Rehab” that you can get in your inbox right now just by filling in your details right below and you’ll be redirected back to this page immediately:

1. Sense of Humor

There isn’t one guy I know of who doesn’t appreciate a girl who laughs at his stupid jokes simply out of a sensitive humorous bone.

When a woman laughs, it’s like there’s a beam of light that comes across a guy’s face… and if he hears loud laughter, say, from a woman from across the room for another man, it has the power to make him jealous… and want that laughter to be for him.

Humor is “childlike” energy and is like a BILLBOARD mounted to a woman’s forehead that says “Open Heart!” Men feel this on a gut level.

I’m not talking about faking a sense of humor, because you don’t want to throw red flags.

A person who laughs to gain some sort of approval and validation is easy to mark.

No.

A woman who is really sensitive to humor is a great find for a man.

2. Youthfulness

This goes along with #1 because it comes from a playful heart... and when I say youthfulness, I don’t mean age. I mean a state of being and living.

Youth is an energy and you can spot a person who’s had it “ruff from the world” and who’s become DEAD inside… and somebody who is youthful and fresh and has kept their sense of self separate from the negativity of other people’s opinions.

A child playing on the play ground hasn’t been corrupted by the world yet.

All she cares about is PLAYING… in the sand, swinging on the swings and having fun THIS moment.

She is fresh.

I’ve been amazed when I see 18 year old girls who feel 40, and then when I see 40 year old women who feel 18

3. Body Language

Body language is 55% of all communication (vocal tone 38%, language 7%).

Hips loose and tilted a bit forward, weight on the lower back, shoulders and upper back relaxed, chest present, chin up… (there’s more to this having more to do with “energy”, but I won’t get into that right now).

A smile will show a man you’re open to him on a gut level and no smile will show him you’re “untouchable” and a cold ruthless bitch… It just depends on who you want to attract.

Body language is just like a person’s “energetic pulse” to the outside world saying if they feel good about themselves or like a ship wreck.

Whether you love or hate her, Paris Hilton has awesome body language. Check her out.

4. Emotion

Insecure men will be repulsed by the emotions of a woman… and the confident man will be attracted.

Remember, this isn’t about faking… like tantrum, emotional outburst etc. etc.

But rather just allowing your “yin nature” to flow through you. I know it sounds weird, but go with me here.

Emotion is spontaneous.

And the unemotional man is attracted to its opposite, it’s POLAR opposite… to the emotional yin feminine by the force of magnetism.

5. Patience

It is RARE to find a woman who is patient.

\I’m serious, men are truly grateful for a woman who is patient because many women are simply ADD. I can’t tell you how annoying this is to most men. It’s the final nail in the coffin a lot of the times.

What I’m talking about is authentic, compassionate patience that comes from being relaxed.

Men ,the yang masculine (my weird way of telling between men and woman) is path or goal oriented… and when a man finally finds a woman who is can relax with his path, it’s “two thumbs up”.

This is the very first step to what I call “Manhandling”.

6. Self-Care And Beauty

Beauty, hair, skin, makeup, weight; the superficial things men adore.

These are the more OUTWARD expressions of yin energy.

A past girlfriend once told me “there is NO such thing as an ugly woman, only a lazy one.”

Now, where I think most women go wrong in this department is putting ALL of their weight on physical beauty.

When that “leg” is weak and maybe they don’t think they look that great today, their entire self image is destroyed.

And when they look particularly great one day, their entire self image is built around it.

This is not good because you become a ROLLERCOASTER.

Here’s what I believe is needed ===> Balance, balance, balance.

Put some weight onto the other leg of the INNER yin energy as well.

Beauty is only the most superficial, outward expression.

7. Intelligence

When I say the word intelligence, I don’t mean book intellect or street smarts.

I mean the ability to be CREATIVE in the moment.

I’m talking about a woman who is PRESENT and “here now”.

You can look into her eyes and tell that she is with you right now, not zoning off into space or thinking about something in her head. She responds to the moment… and this is an ability that everyone has.

You too are very intelligent. You just need to know how to access it…

8. Not Needing But Wanting

Guys can smell out a needy, clinging girl which usually causes them to run the other direction.

And they can also sense a girl who WANTS rather than needs.

Being needed will stroke a guy’s ego and make him feel good about himself, but there’s a great possibility he’ll eventually freak out and run.

Being wanted, on the other hand, will make him feel even better, but he won’t run… he’ll feel compelled (unless he’s a serious dumb ass).

A girl who has the self-confidence enough to want, to desire, and not be attached to those wants is pure gold.

Then adventure, playfulness and challenge come naturally.

There’s a fine line between being a slave to needing, or being free to want.

9. Nurturance

A man wants to be independent, but likes to feel that he is taken care of as well.

They say that “every man’s life is a journey to find the happiness he once felt inside the womb of his mommy.”

Nuturance is one of the most basic female instincts… and most guys DO want that little tiny bit of mommy in a girlfriend… but not too much or both you and him will probably get annoyed!

And just like #8, this is nurturance out of want not need… a very fine line indeed.

10. Sexually Adventurous

Sexual repression makes people very, very… VERY angry. Nuf’ said.

11. Love

A woman filled with love in her heart is one of the most beautiful things.

She is fearless and hatred falls away.

A woman who sees the world through loving eyes has no enemies… even if people dislike her.

Love is not weak, it is POWER.

Love comes out of relaxation and when that restless need for approval falls away.

You just need to know HOW to control love so that you don’t lose yourself to it completely.

12. Integrity

A woman who has real values and sticks up for herself is like a beacon of light.

Many of the gals I have consulted with are pushed and pulled by the wind at every moment.

They have very little security in life and they worry continuously. Is this you?

If you know how to control this insecurity, it can actually be a GOOD thing (weird I know).

But usually she has no stability to her at all and she lives life in what I call the “Soap Opera Matrix”.

Integrity is what creates some sanity. It’s one of the few things you come into the world with, and its one of the easiest things to take for granted and sell for sparkly looking toys.

Security is good, But if you build too many walls around yourself and try to become “all powerful” you lose your delicacy, your female beauty. I’ve seen this happen to quite a few women.

It’s a delicate balance.

Here’s a simple list I suggest you start with (and I follow myself):

a. Your health. Your mind, body and soul come first. Without you there is nothing else so you must be kept in good shape and happy.

b. Love. Love is one of the highest values. Love comes BEFORE pleasure although most people always reverse them. Ever ask yourself “Is it love or lust?” They can’t tell because pleasure has always come first.You must know how to bring LOVE to the front.

c. Freedom. Never be a slave to anybody, even if you feel like you want to. You are a free being, and most men want this in a woman.

d. Pleasure. Celebration comes naturally after all of these things are taken care of. Most people try to put pleasure as their number one. They will abuse their bodies to have it, weaken their integrity to have it and sell their soul to have it. Most people are not in pursuit of happiness, they are in pursuit of PLEASURE… but that pleasure is always accompanied by pain. There’s an endless rollercoaster of pleasure/pain when it becomes number one. However, pleasure comes naturally when it comes after some other more important things… like having the “know how” to sustain a long LASTING relationship (if you have my book than you know exactly what I’m talking about).

Don’t expect this stuff to come over night.