"Adultery"

Why Men are Prone to Adultery




Adultery is only a joke for those who are not devastated by it. The assumption for thousands of years has been that men are more prone towards adultery due to their genes and their need to spread their seed for continued survival. This may have been true at the beginning of time, but in our over-populated world, have we not evolved enough for our minds to control our behavior? Men may also be more prone to adultery because many men find it easier to separate sex from love than women do. In addition, men may have more power and money so women may put up with adultery because they feel responsible to take care of the children and thus, feel trapped.

Main shifts in the power balance in marriage have altered adultery. The incredible shrinking double standard in matters of sex has created a shift of heroic proportions in the nature of sexual infidelity. According to recent findings with a sample pool of 37,000 persons, 15% of wives have reportedly cheated on their spouse. These statistics appeared in Oprah Magazine in 2004. It is suspected that the percentage for men could be slightly higher but at the same time it would not be surprising if it were slightly lower. While this suggests that adultery is an equal opportunity, what's surprising about the new research is that men are getting more emotionally involved with their extracurricular partners.

In the past, many male adulterers did not want to disrupt their marriage and the sexual affair usually did not make much impact on the husband's satisfaction with his marriage. This difference was built mostly on the wife's sense of powerlessness. Recent findings suggest that female liberation has changed perceptions. Men have become more sensitive -- just as women say they wanted them to be -- but the sensitivity generally rewards the working woman, not the wife. Nowadays adulterers are more likely to find fulfillment with a work mate. The work relationship becomes rich, while things at home may become pressurized and child-centered. As a result, adultery is more disruptive and threatening to the marriage and more likely to lead to divorce. Working wives even have more sexual opportunities. The sexual revolution, like all revolutions, has shaped unintended consequences. While cultural changes are not thought to manipulate biology, it's clear that the messages exchanged between men and women have changed activities. Some men now get facials and pedicures just like women. The hottest group to come out of the clothes closet is the man who wants a makeover to liberate his feminine side. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, a reality TV show, explores the ways five gay men use their decorating and aesthetic savvy to alter a heterosexual male into a straight guy with style. This “new” urban heterosexual man even has a descriptive term – “metro sexual.” This term was originally applied sarcastically to the self-consumed male consumer of traditional women's products, such as bath oils, perfumes and face creams (and plastic surgery.) It's now a label worn with pride by the homo sexualized straight man that's moved from drab to fab.

According to a poll of over 5,000 women on WomanSavers.com, over 52% said they believe adultery should be prosecuted in courts. In early 2007 an Arizona court prosecuted two married adulterers for the first time in over 30 years. Only time will tell whether other states will follow in these types of adultery prosecutions.

There are cases of adultery among celebrities too. Country music singer and ‘Dancing with the stars’ contestant Sara Evans had divorce with her husband on the grounds of adultery. She had found him having multiple partners and thus ended up the relationship. This isn’t the only case in celebrities, but there are many instances where celebrities cheat their partners and commit adultery.

Honestly speaking, it is very difficult to find the statistics on adultery. The most sought after testing viz. DNA has revealed that 15% of birth certificates identify the wrong man as the father of a child. About 30% of DNA paternity tests do not confirm the identity of the purported father of a child. Since DNA paternity testing includes unmarried females and unmarried males, it cannot be an accurate measure of adultery.

In summary, adultery statistics are rare and outdated and many are flawed due to those who feel uncomfortable telling the truth about their adulterous behavior. Whether cultural changes of women in the workplace and increased divorce rates will cause men to cheat less will remain to be seen.

"Top 9 Signs Your Spouse Is Cheating'

You have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, something is not right but you can’t quite figure out what that feeling is about. Your spouse has become distant, he/she is working late on a regular basis or, maybe your spouse has moved out of the house with no explanation. You suspect there may be someone else but every time you bring it up with your spouse, he/she denies the possibility. All the signs are there but you don’t have any proof. So, pay attention to the signs and your instinct but, be careful and don’t confuse signs with proof.

1. "I'm not in love with you anymore."

If you hear these words, a big warning bell should go off. This is one of the most consistent things a cheating spouse will say. Your spouse may have a deep, loving bond with you but, intense feelings of passion can override the bond with you and cause your spouse to loose sight of his/her true feelings. The cheating spouse will develop what I call hormone - induced amnesia. The surging hormones and passion they feel in their new relationship can cause some very skewed thinking.

2. “We are just friends.”

This is also another very predictable statement that will come from a cheating spouse. If your spouse is spending more and more time with this new “friend” then there is probably more to it than mere friendship. Your spouse may feel they have a lot in common with this person, that this person understands them and things they are going through. Whatever the reasons for the friendship, it’s a big warning sign and one you should take seriously.

3. A sudden need for privacy.

If things the two of you used to share openly suddenly become private pay attention cause something is probably up. He/she may start password protecting computer activity. Cell phone and credit card bills may be hidden. If you ask why or attempt to find out information that used to be common knowledge between the two of you, you will be accused of snooping or trying to control your spouse. Big warning sign!

4. “I need some space to figure my feelings for you.”

Men and women who are involved with someone else will request more space, time alone or away from the family. They may say it is due to confusion over their feelings or stress at work. This can be a sign that there is someone else and the spouse is trying to figure out ways to have more freedom.

5. Regular work habits change.

Working late, going to work at odd hours or, putting in more time than is normal on work related issues can be indications that a spouse is cheating.

6. Spending a large amount of time on the computer.

In today’s world, with modern technology, a person looking for an affair doesn’t even have to leave their home. The ease of internet chat rooms, online dating sites and secret email accounts has caused an alarming increase in emotional affairs.
If your spouse is online more than usual, hanging out in chat rooms and visiting pornographic websites then you have reason to be alarmed.

7. Secretive phone calls and more time spent on the phone.

Emotional affairs occur primarily via the phone, especially cell phones. If you find your spouse hanging up suddenly when you enter the room or erasing the history on the cell phone and becoming defensive when asked about it, then you might want to check your phone records.

8. Behavior that just doesn’t add up.

Not being where he/she was expected to be. Missing time they can’t explain. Money that isn’t accounted for. Receipts for things you don't have. Missing clothing. Clothing that does not belong to your family. Being caught in little lies about the details of the day.

9. Your Own fears and suspicions

If you find yourself looking for excuses for your spouse's behavior or trying to convince yourself that they would never cheat then that is a warning sign. Your intuition is frequently one of the best indicators that something is wrong. If you suspect your spouse might be cheating on you, do some investigating and then confront him or her with what you've found. Do it in a way that is calm and courteous. Ask for honesty. Be prepared for lies. It is a sad fact that people having affairs become excellent liars. People who never told a lie before in their lives. Trust your gut instinct but get hard, cold proof also.

Why Men Cheat: Top 10 Reasons Why Men Cheat

Why men cheat on women is an age-old question. The reasons why men cheat on women can be varied. Nevertheless, we have compiled a list of the top 10 reasons why both married and unmarried men cheat. Sometimes their reasons don’t even involve you and it’s simply an ego-based decision. Other times, reasons why men cheat can involve you and your relationship, or lack thereof.

So why do some men cheat in relationships? Almost all men know that cheating is wrong, yet many they still do it. Men will blame their reasons for cheating on their genes and their necessity to reproduce. However, aren’t we suppose to be further evolved than a chimp? Shouldn’t we be able to control our bodies through our minds and conscious decisions? Aparrently not always.

Here are the top 10 reasons why men cheat:

1. Because they had the option. The old saying “men are only as faithful as their options” can sometimes ring true. Men don’t get offered sex as often as women so when the opportunity does arise, it can be very difficult for them to turn it down.

2. It boosts their ego. Sometimes men don’t feel like they are attractive to the opposite sex any more and when a woman shows some interest, not only does a man react, he may allow her to stroke his ego and more. There’s nothing like the thrill of the chase to men on the hunt. When they are finally rewarded for their efforts, their egos swell even larger.

3. You grow apart. Maybe the two of you didn’t have as much in common as you thought. He’s met a woman who has more in common with him who loves football or plays golf. He may check out if he is compatible with her under the sheets also.

4. You argue a lot. Men will sometimes cheat to get away from an overly critical or argumentative partner. Who wants to be around someone who is constantly on them about something.

5. He’s fallen out of love. Sometimes men become so comfortable in a relationship, they don’t know how to get out. They may be staying in the relationship because of children or financial reasons. However, they feel like they are missing out on love and may seek it out elsewhere. In their mind, this is as close to win-win as they can get.

6. Your sex life sucks. If a man has a disinterested partner or isn’t getting enough sex to fulfill him, there is a good chance he will have an affair. Just because you have a husband or boyfriend, does not mean you can stop trying. It takes a little bit of effort to keep your sex life from getting boring and non-existent. Some men cheat because they want to try new sexual things that their current partner will not try.

7. To get revenge. A man will sometimes cheat if he finds out his partner was cheating on him. How else is he supposed to heal those hurt feelings of his but through good old fashioned sex?

8. It’s new, different and exciting. Some men get tired of having steak for dinner every night and want to try a hamburger. The same goes for sex with a woman. That’s why men don’t necessarily always cheat with women who are more attractive than their partners.

9. To see if they can get away with it. If a man has the attitude of “what she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her,” he may cheat to see if he is sneaky and smart enough to get away with it. However, with all the advancement in surveillance spy ware, getting caught has now become easier than ever.

10. Because you have allowed it in the past. If you have forgiven a cheating man a couple of times, they are more than likely going to cheat again because they already know if they plead enough, you will forgive them.

Reasons why men cheat can be more complex than the above list or even be a combination of a few different reasons. Nevertheless, no reason is good enough reason to lie and be dishonest.