Is He In Love With You?

I get hundreds of visits each day from viewers wondering how to tell if a man is in love with them.

It seems a common question women throughout the world are wondering.

I've addressed this topic in several different articles so thought I would collect and link several posts here so the question is addressed from multiple perspectives.

When asked, how to know if a guy is in love with you, my most common bit of advice would be... what does your gut tell you? What do you know inside? Listen to what you know to be true, not what you hope, wish, fantasize about!

The following links will give you a variety of information and ideas to help you know... if a man is in love with you!

Listen to your gut!

How to tell if a guy is using you!

How to tell if a man does not love you!

Ten tips to know you are being used!

How to tell if a man is in love with you!

How to tell if a guy is married!

If a guy truly loves you he will not....

How to know if a guy is using you!

How desperate are you?

Sex is not intimacy, love, or care!

Self esteem and the cycle of being used!

Be smart, be honest with yourself, be true to yourself, and find a man who truly does love you!

"Cheaters"

Cheaters only,Men specially
Females are very soft-hearted than males, so they can easily forgive, especially when the one they love ask it from them. And I'm pretty happy for that character, because it is in accordance with God's teaching to forgive those who have sinned against us, for He Himself will forgive our sins.

But, wicked people take advantage on this. A lover gains courage to cheat on his girlfriend for he knows in advance that she will forgive him, whether it is done seriously or not, and without the girl's knowledge of his deep sincerity. You just have to cry a little, or act so sweet that will eventually melt a girl's heart, or speak something that comes from a ballad song, or anything that their minds can create just to get back his girl's trust and love.

Due to my knowledge on this and eagerness not be subjected to another trickery, all this never work for me. I'm sorry, but i'm pretty hard especially when I can sense based on a guy's background what's really in his heart. Yes I do forgive, but that is never meant to say that I'm going back with someone who brought me misery. If a single big mistake can still be disregarded, a new and a graver one will not be treated similarly. The second time will only serve as a warning for my own goodness to leave and never look back.

It's a big deal for me that a man must have good moral values, because if he truly has this, he will do all his best to keep it up, in whatever situation he may be. Good physical appearence may attract and satisfy our eyes, (and you know what for some others) but a serious love relationship goes beyond that. It needs fidelity most importantly, and fidelity has a broad meaning, and includes respect, honesty, understanding and etc.

Now, he began to realize the special qualities of his ex-girlfriend, which he could never find on the girl he's with at this moment (who was his accomplice in causing me great pain and attempt of humiliation). As the song goes "You don't know what you've got till it's gone."

Cheating

When Does Cheating Happens?

Cheating happens when you start looking for what you don't have. Somewhere along the way, you will meet someone who will be more charming or sensitive than the one youre already with.

More sexy, More thoughtful, wealthier, better in bed, and you will meet someone who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your boyfriend/girlfriend ever did. No boyfriend/girlfriend is perfect, because your boyfriend/girlfriend will only have 90 percent of what you're looking for.

So, cheating happens when you look for the missing 10 percent. Lets say your girlfriend is melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty girl next-door who has a cheerleader laugh no matter what she says: I broke my arm yesterday, ha ha ha...

Or because your girlfriend is a couch potato who is always in pajamas and smelling of garlic and cooking oil, you may fall for the CK-One-smelling colleague who comes to work in a sharp pinstripe blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt.

Or because your boyfriend is the type who never shuts up even when you've tried using duct tape, your heart may skip a beat when you sit next to a brooding, mysterious Latino on the bus.

But wait! Thats only 10 percent of what you don't have. Don't throw away the 90 percent that you already do! add to the 90 percent the 100 percent that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together.

The many adjustments you have made to better understand each others little quirks and idiosyncracies. The wealth of memories that you have accumulated as lovers. The old sparks that can always be rekindled by the walk on the beach, barefoot and underneath the stars...

Cheating happens when you start looking for what you don't have. But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already do.

" Cheaters Hate Cheaters "

CHEATING
That word can be defined in numerous different ways.

You can cheat on your taxes, your significant other, and your diet among other things.


But the one of the most important things that you can cheat is simply, yourself.


Most people claim to be happy but if you were to take a deeper look you would probably see that they are trying to please everyone but themselves and becoming quite miserable in the process.
They give so much to others that they forget to give to themselves.

Time goes by and those dreams that you once had are now just a memory because you cheated yourself out of the idea. Lost in the day to day living you give up on ever finishing your degree. That cross country trip has turned into a bunch of brochures in the back of your closet that you never look at again. The good friends from days gone by are now just mere acquaintances that you might send a Christmas card to.

Life is yours to enjoy and experience. Don't get so dependent on the clock that you cheat yourself out of those goals that you have set for yourself.

Love yourself and allow yourself the freedom to enjoy life; so when you look back you can honestly say that instead of making do and cheating yourself of life experiences you gave it your all and the reward of happiness, inner peace and love will have been experienced with those that you surround yourself with.

"Why Do Men Cheat?"

Men are biologically programmed to spread their seed to as many women as possible. A sad and disconcerting fact, but true. They have many seed and regenerate them rapidly. Women are biologically programmed to try to keep one man, who will hunt, and take care of her while she's with child. A woman has one egg every month, and it's impossible for the man to tell when she's fertile.

Although I don't condone infidelity it happens, and some might say evolutionarily defensible.In my opinion there are 2 distinct time frames of infidelity.

The new relationship, and the established relationship.Established relationship with passion on the downside.

Lack of Sex: I have to tell you ladies if your significant other is not having sex with you, you're in trouble. Short term set backs aside, an extended period of time with out sex is a good sign that something is amiss. Regardless of the reason for partaking in pleasures of the flesh with a spouse, humans are sexual animals and need sex. There is a good likelihood a man will go elsewhere to get laid, if the opportunity arises.

Nagging: You know if you get punched in the shoulder once it doesn't really hurt, but if you get smacked a million times it starts to smart a little. A woman that repetitively nags her man, for whatever reason, runs the risk of infidelity. A constant stream of digs and derisively conveyed needs and wants does little to bolster a man's desire of a woman. Communicate and talk about how you feel, don't just say "Clean the Garage, you bum."

Lack of Affection: Men are big babies, and in many ways are still the boys they were when they were little. Just like little boys need to be hugged, men need affection. Not just sex, mind you, but the little things, the reaching over to hold his hand. Leaning your head on the shoulder to let him know your care. Reach out to him, let him know you love him, want him, kiss him. Tell him these things. Men don't take hints. Dinner on the table, although appreciated, isn't as poignant a sign of affection as walking up to your man grabbing him, kissing him and telling him you love him. Men don't take hints.

Lack of Ego Stroking: Most men have big egos, not that I'd know anything about that. We need to be told how great we are. Not just great in bed, not just a great man, not just how attractive you think we are, but the simpler things are just as important. Bolster our egos with thoughts of us being good fathers, and thoughtful husbands. Tell us you desire us, and why. Make something up if you have to. Stroke our egos, and we'll not have to look for someone who will.

Lack of Communication: Believe it or not there are woman who don't like to talk about their feelings, or find it difficult to do so, just like there are men. It is important for a couple to share not just how they feel both good and bad, while keeping an open mind that what is being shared are just feelings, not then end all be all of what makes a couple tick. If you establish lines of communication early on, it facilitates talking throughout a lifetime of ups and downs that everyone experiences.

Letting Yourself Go: "My ex used to have an ass you could crack an egg on, now you can have a whole breakfast." A disturbing joke, but appropriate in many ways. Long term relationship cause both parties to take eachother for granted. There is no reason to look good to attract someone else, consequently the wife busy with the kids, groceries, and the day to day grind will let herself go, and the hubby no longer finds her attractive.

To Feel Young: As a man gets older, and he begins to realize his mortality, he will seek out youth in the form of female companionship that he thinks will make him feel young again. "You're only as old as the woman you're sleeping with."

Falling out of Love: After a long enough time, people if not careful, and communicating, will fall out of love. The desire, passion, and allure that was once commonplace in a marriage is no longer there. The love and passion can be rekindled, but sometimes it appears easier to just look somewhere else for that newness. As opposed to ending the marriage that is such a part of their lives, the man just cheats.

Variety: Variety is the spice of life. After a long enough time any relationship isn't what it once was. Something needs to be done to spice it up, games, romanticism, dress up, to change things from the same old, same old to something, ANYTHING different. This requires care, communication and understanding. Resting back on your laurels expecting something different and exciting isn't enough. A man will stray for variety.

Early on in a relationship, say the first 6 months.

Fear of Intimacy: Some men will cheat on a girlfriend as opposed to show their vulnerability and commit. There is a ton of control in breaking up by cheating. It is a true fear of intimacy that can cause this. They also will keep themselves emotionally distant from the mistress to avoid intimacy all together.

Sexual Incompatibility: The first few times having sex with a woman can be a number of things, crazy passion, new and exciting, but sometimes it can be two different people learning each other's bodies. There can come a time when the sex is good, but the overall compatibility is uncertain. The physicality of size, desire and satiability between two people isn't always compatible. A man will stray if he doesn't think the sex is working, or is as good as it should be.

Too Clingy: There is a fine line between attentiveness and clinging. It's a tough road to follow, since we all want our attention, and need our space as well until we really decide we want to commit.

Unrequited Love: If you've ever been in spot where you were telling the person you were with, and not getting a response you know this one. You've seen it in movies, read it in books. One person is putting themselves out there while the other is afraid to commit, or express mutuality of feelings. At some point after listening to silence after expressing your love, a guy will wonder if he's doing the right thing, and might look elsewhere to try and buffer the possibility of heartache.

The Back Up: Most eligible bachelors might be seeing 2 or 3 women all at the same time. It's called dating, of course most women call this being a player. When dating, AND looking for a serious relationship if after 6 months you don't see it going anywhere it's time to move on. After a couple months of dating a couple women, one will win out. The woman that gets dumped is sometimes kept as a back up, if the next relationship is a bust.

Do I still have feelings for?: At some point in a relationship, even one going good, a man might think that there was still that connection with an ex, leading him to stray in a decision making situation. This could go either way, it might be the final piece of the puzzle to undeniably convince him the new girl is the one, or it can be the end of the new relationship.

There is also the man who is never satisfied, that always looks for the grass being greener on the other side. That purposely sets out to find and fuck. A womanizer, player if you will, a man that bores easily, and is filled with wanderlust. These are opportunists and if given the opportunity they will cheat. They don't really need a reason they just cheat.

"Adultery"

Why Men are Prone to Adultery




Adultery is only a joke for those who are not devastated by it. The assumption for thousands of years has been that men are more prone towards adultery due to their genes and their need to spread their seed for continued survival. This may have been true at the beginning of time, but in our over-populated world, have we not evolved enough for our minds to control our behavior? Men may also be more prone to adultery because many men find it easier to separate sex from love than women do. In addition, men may have more power and money so women may put up with adultery because they feel responsible to take care of the children and thus, feel trapped.

Main shifts in the power balance in marriage have altered adultery. The incredible shrinking double standard in matters of sex has created a shift of heroic proportions in the nature of sexual infidelity. According to recent findings with a sample pool of 37,000 persons, 15% of wives have reportedly cheated on their spouse. These statistics appeared in Oprah Magazine in 2004. It is suspected that the percentage for men could be slightly higher but at the same time it would not be surprising if it were slightly lower. While this suggests that adultery is an equal opportunity, what's surprising about the new research is that men are getting more emotionally involved with their extracurricular partners.

In the past, many male adulterers did not want to disrupt their marriage and the sexual affair usually did not make much impact on the husband's satisfaction with his marriage. This difference was built mostly on the wife's sense of powerlessness. Recent findings suggest that female liberation has changed perceptions. Men have become more sensitive -- just as women say they wanted them to be -- but the sensitivity generally rewards the working woman, not the wife. Nowadays adulterers are more likely to find fulfillment with a work mate. The work relationship becomes rich, while things at home may become pressurized and child-centered. As a result, adultery is more disruptive and threatening to the marriage and more likely to lead to divorce. Working wives even have more sexual opportunities. The sexual revolution, like all revolutions, has shaped unintended consequences. While cultural changes are not thought to manipulate biology, it's clear that the messages exchanged between men and women have changed activities. Some men now get facials and pedicures just like women. The hottest group to come out of the clothes closet is the man who wants a makeover to liberate his feminine side. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, a reality TV show, explores the ways five gay men use their decorating and aesthetic savvy to alter a heterosexual male into a straight guy with style. This “new” urban heterosexual man even has a descriptive term – “metro sexual.” This term was originally applied sarcastically to the self-consumed male consumer of traditional women's products, such as bath oils, perfumes and face creams (and plastic surgery.) It's now a label worn with pride by the homo sexualized straight man that's moved from drab to fab.

According to a poll of over 5,000 women on WomanSavers.com, over 52% said they believe adultery should be prosecuted in courts. In early 2007 an Arizona court prosecuted two married adulterers for the first time in over 30 years. Only time will tell whether other states will follow in these types of adultery prosecutions.

There are cases of adultery among celebrities too. Country music singer and ‘Dancing with the stars’ contestant Sara Evans had divorce with her husband on the grounds of adultery. She had found him having multiple partners and thus ended up the relationship. This isn’t the only case in celebrities, but there are many instances where celebrities cheat their partners and commit adultery.

Honestly speaking, it is very difficult to find the statistics on adultery. The most sought after testing viz. DNA has revealed that 15% of birth certificates identify the wrong man as the father of a child. About 30% of DNA paternity tests do not confirm the identity of the purported father of a child. Since DNA paternity testing includes unmarried females and unmarried males, it cannot be an accurate measure of adultery.

In summary, adultery statistics are rare and outdated and many are flawed due to those who feel uncomfortable telling the truth about their adulterous behavior. Whether cultural changes of women in the workplace and increased divorce rates will cause men to cheat less will remain to be seen.

"Signs of Cheating Men"

Top 10 Signs of a Cheating Man

A cheating man can only hide his cheating ways for so long before he gets caught. The longer a man cheats, the higher probability he will get caught. In this busy day and age, it is difficult to carry on more than one relationship. However, with inventions like the internet, accessibility to willing partners has become easier than ever. There are various ways of how to tell if your man is cheating. We have listed the top 10 signs of a cheating man below. How to know if your man is cheating? If your man exhibits any of the below, it may be time to take a closer look.

1. Spends less time with you. A cheating man must use the excuse of working long hours, extra meetings and dinners or other unexplained functions so he will have time with his “other” woman.

2. Isn’t as affectionate any more. Your sex life is almost non-existent because of his other commitments. He doesn’t want to cuddle, watch a movie, hold hands or do many of the touchy things he used to.

3. He changes his physical appearance. A cheating man usually starts buying new clothes, gets a new hair style or begins working out because he wants to be attractive to the other woman in his life besides you.

4. Car changes. The passenger seat in the car has been moved or there is an unknown hair on the car seat. Perhaps the radio station is on an irregular station because that’s what she likes.

5. Cheating man becomes more short-tempered because of the guilty feelings as a result of the infidelity. Things that usually did not bother them suddenly start bothering them.

6. A cheating man may smell of perfume, smoke or alcohol, especially if he hasn’t had time to change them from meeting with her.

7. Behavioral changes. A cheating man frequently becomes defensive when questioned about his whereabouts. He may turn it around to accuse you of being insecure, possessive or snoopy.

8. Cell phone changes. A cheating man can not leave his telephone turned on when with you because his other woman may phone him. He may leave the room to have a telephone conversation or say strange things after he picks up a message from his lover. Watch for calls in the middle of the night. If you have access to his telephone bill, check it closely. Look for repeated unknown numbers, times and durations.

9. Computer usage changes. A cheating man may utilize a computer to seek out partners or communicate with. If your man is on his computer for long periods of time at night and he closes the door so you won’t see him, he may be communicating or chatting with his love interest.

10. Changes in spending habits. You can tell if your man is cheating if he is suddenly always broke. He’s broke because he is spending all of his money on the other woman. Watch as to whether he is paying with cash and making more frequent ATM withdrawals to cover his paper trail. Check any receipts, bill’s or stubs that you may have access to.

Once you know if your man is cheating or not, make sure you have a plan of action that you will take after you accuse him. You need to decide whether it’s time for you to move on or whether this relationship may be worth a second chance.

"Top 9 Signs Your Spouse Is Cheating'

You have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, something is not right but you can’t quite figure out what that feeling is about. Your spouse has become distant, he/she is working late on a regular basis or, maybe your spouse has moved out of the house with no explanation. You suspect there may be someone else but every time you bring it up with your spouse, he/she denies the possibility. All the signs are there but you don’t have any proof. So, pay attention to the signs and your instinct but, be careful and don’t confuse signs with proof.

1. "I'm not in love with you anymore."

If you hear these words, a big warning bell should go off. This is one of the most consistent things a cheating spouse will say. Your spouse may have a deep, loving bond with you but, intense feelings of passion can override the bond with you and cause your spouse to loose sight of his/her true feelings. The cheating spouse will develop what I call hormone - induced amnesia. The surging hormones and passion they feel in their new relationship can cause some very skewed thinking.

2. “We are just friends.”

This is also another very predictable statement that will come from a cheating spouse. If your spouse is spending more and more time with this new “friend” then there is probably more to it than mere friendship. Your spouse may feel they have a lot in common with this person, that this person understands them and things they are going through. Whatever the reasons for the friendship, it’s a big warning sign and one you should take seriously.

3. A sudden need for privacy.

If things the two of you used to share openly suddenly become private pay attention cause something is probably up. He/she may start password protecting computer activity. Cell phone and credit card bills may be hidden. If you ask why or attempt to find out information that used to be common knowledge between the two of you, you will be accused of snooping or trying to control your spouse. Big warning sign!

4. “I need some space to figure my feelings for you.”

Men and women who are involved with someone else will request more space, time alone or away from the family. They may say it is due to confusion over their feelings or stress at work. This can be a sign that there is someone else and the spouse is trying to figure out ways to have more freedom.

5. Regular work habits change.

Working late, going to work at odd hours or, putting in more time than is normal on work related issues can be indications that a spouse is cheating.

6. Spending a large amount of time on the computer.

In today’s world, with modern technology, a person looking for an affair doesn’t even have to leave their home. The ease of internet chat rooms, online dating sites and secret email accounts has caused an alarming increase in emotional affairs.
If your spouse is online more than usual, hanging out in chat rooms and visiting pornographic websites then you have reason to be alarmed.

7. Secretive phone calls and more time spent on the phone.

Emotional affairs occur primarily via the phone, especially cell phones. If you find your spouse hanging up suddenly when you enter the room or erasing the history on the cell phone and becoming defensive when asked about it, then you might want to check your phone records.

8. Behavior that just doesn’t add up.

Not being where he/she was expected to be. Missing time they can’t explain. Money that isn’t accounted for. Receipts for things you don't have. Missing clothing. Clothing that does not belong to your family. Being caught in little lies about the details of the day.

9. Your Own fears and suspicions

If you find yourself looking for excuses for your spouse's behavior or trying to convince yourself that they would never cheat then that is a warning sign. Your intuition is frequently one of the best indicators that something is wrong. If you suspect your spouse might be cheating on you, do some investigating and then confront him or her with what you've found. Do it in a way that is calm and courteous. Ask for honesty. Be prepared for lies. It is a sad fact that people having affairs become excellent liars. People who never told a lie before in their lives. Trust your gut instinct but get hard, cold proof also.

Why Men Cheat: Top 10 Reasons Why Men Cheat

Why men cheat on women is an age-old question. The reasons why men cheat on women can be varied. Nevertheless, we have compiled a list of the top 10 reasons why both married and unmarried men cheat. Sometimes their reasons don’t even involve you and it’s simply an ego-based decision. Other times, reasons why men cheat can involve you and your relationship, or lack thereof.

So why do some men cheat in relationships? Almost all men know that cheating is wrong, yet many they still do it. Men will blame their reasons for cheating on their genes and their necessity to reproduce. However, aren’t we suppose to be further evolved than a chimp? Shouldn’t we be able to control our bodies through our minds and conscious decisions? Aparrently not always.

Here are the top 10 reasons why men cheat:

1. Because they had the option. The old saying “men are only as faithful as their options” can sometimes ring true. Men don’t get offered sex as often as women so when the opportunity does arise, it can be very difficult for them to turn it down.

2. It boosts their ego. Sometimes men don’t feel like they are attractive to the opposite sex any more and when a woman shows some interest, not only does a man react, he may allow her to stroke his ego and more. There’s nothing like the thrill of the chase to men on the hunt. When they are finally rewarded for their efforts, their egos swell even larger.

3. You grow apart. Maybe the two of you didn’t have as much in common as you thought. He’s met a woman who has more in common with him who loves football or plays golf. He may check out if he is compatible with her under the sheets also.

4. You argue a lot. Men will sometimes cheat to get away from an overly critical or argumentative partner. Who wants to be around someone who is constantly on them about something.

5. He’s fallen out of love. Sometimes men become so comfortable in a relationship, they don’t know how to get out. They may be staying in the relationship because of children or financial reasons. However, they feel like they are missing out on love and may seek it out elsewhere. In their mind, this is as close to win-win as they can get.

6. Your sex life sucks. If a man has a disinterested partner or isn’t getting enough sex to fulfill him, there is a good chance he will have an affair. Just because you have a husband or boyfriend, does not mean you can stop trying. It takes a little bit of effort to keep your sex life from getting boring and non-existent. Some men cheat because they want to try new sexual things that their current partner will not try.

7. To get revenge. A man will sometimes cheat if he finds out his partner was cheating on him. How else is he supposed to heal those hurt feelings of his but through good old fashioned sex?

8. It’s new, different and exciting. Some men get tired of having steak for dinner every night and want to try a hamburger. The same goes for sex with a woman. That’s why men don’t necessarily always cheat with women who are more attractive than their partners.

9. To see if they can get away with it. If a man has the attitude of “what she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her,” he may cheat to see if he is sneaky and smart enough to get away with it. However, with all the advancement in surveillance spy ware, getting caught has now become easier than ever.

10. Because you have allowed it in the past. If you have forgiven a cheating man a couple of times, they are more than likely going to cheat again because they already know if they plead enough, you will forgive them.

Reasons why men cheat can be more complex than the above list or even be a combination of a few different reasons. Nevertheless, no reason is good enough reason to lie and be dishonest.