"Knowing Your Partner"

Know your Partner:

1. Observe your partner in different situations

Find opportunities for your partner to socialize with your family, friends and colleagues so you can learn his/her behaviour in different social contexts.

2. Observe how your partner handles stress

See how your partner reacts in the face of tough decisions and stress.

3. Develop opportunities for your partner to open up

Ask questions during conversations to help you understand him/ her better. (E.g. Ask your partner about his/her childhood, thoughts, opinions, on things, etc.)

4. Take an interest in your partner’s emotional & physical health

Find out how your partner is feeling and be sensitive to those feelings. Knowing about his/her interests, family and cultural background can help you understand more about his/her social and emotional condition and physical health.

Know Yourself


To develop a meaningful relationship as a married couple, you need to know yourself as well as your partner in order for the both of you to learn to grow together.

Know Yourself

Steps to understanding and accepting yourself:

1. Self-reflection

Identify your values and priorities.
Identify your expectations and views.
Recognize your skills and abilities.
Recognize your likes and dislikes.
Recognize your strengths and weaknesses.
Recognize your preferences and prejudices.
Identify the significant events that shape you.
Identify the relationships that influence you.
Identify what is important to you (e.g. ambition).
What do you think of yourself?
What do others think of you?

2. Self-disclosure

Share your thoughts and feelings with others verbally.

3. Feedback from others

Be open to what people say about you.
Learn from mistakes and grow as a person.
Be in touch with your feelings.

Build Your Relationship

When your martial relationship is developed to its full potential, it is immensely satisfying and enriching for both of you.

Ways to develop your relationship:

1. Building trust

Confide and share with each other your hopes and fears. This helps create and maintain an atmosphere of trust, love and sensitivity in which both of you can learn more about each other.

2. Sharing confidences

Sharing your inner thoughts and feelings with each other will bring your relationship beyond the superficial level. It will also help you be sensitive to the needs and aspirations of your partner.

3. Handling differences

Understand the differences between you and your partner and learn to accept them. You should also define your roles and expectations early so that conflicts won’t arise later on.

4. Resolving disagreements

Be constructive when you deal with disagreements and don’t put each other down. Try seeing the positive value of being different.

Phases of a Marital Relationship


The marital relationship goes through predictable phases. While not everyone goes through these phases and they may not flow from one to another, understanding them prepares you to adapt to the changes and keep the relationship going.

1. The honeymoon phase

This stage is marked by ecstasy, fun, excitement, romance, charm and a preoccupation with your spouse. It usually fades as the marriage progresses.

2. The disenchantment phase

As you struggle with your spouse to resolve the conflicts that come with living together as a married couple, there will be some loss of marital bliss. This usually occurs when bringing up young children who demand a lot of care, attention and adjustments.

3. The reality phase

Couples who reach this stage have more or less settled down in their role as parents. You will have learnt to work out problems and frustrations with your spouse and accepted mutual responsibility in the relationship.

4. The maturity phase

You will have adapted to your spouse and developed a good understanding of each other. Your children will likely be of school-going age and family relationships are quite stable.

5. The golden phase

You and your spouse are likely to be retired and your children should have left school at this stage. You may have to relate to adult children, as well as sons and daughters in-law. You will also have to deal with taking care of each other in your old age and coming to terms with separation, loss and death.

Putting Passion In To Your Marriage

"Happily ever after","til death do us part", "endless love"-these are all phrases we recognize and can probably relate to in our marriage relationship. But what do they all mean? Read them again. All of these phrases refer to one thing- a long, long, long life together. As newlyweds we feel giddy, excited, passionate, so in love, romantic and turned on by one another, constantly. But what happens after 5 years? After 10, 20, 30 years? Well, some may say, it gets boring and stale. Some may say it always gets old or everyone ends up in adultery or divorce. This is just not true. Most people who are married WANT to be, but they don't always know how to keep the home fires burning. Perhaps the fire has dwindled down to simply smoldering or even ashes, but any marriage can return to a blazing hot fire in no time. Here are some suggestions:


Be romantic. That's easy said, but what does it mean? It can mean a lot of things. Mostly it means keep your partner in mind first and foremost. Think of his/her needs above your own. This will always lead to romantic gestures because putting your spouse's needs before your's causes thoughtfulness.


Use your imagination. Being romantic means kissing hello and goodbye every day, saying I love you often, lots of hugs, leaving love notes in his briefcase or on the bathroom mirror, drawing him/her a bubble bath, taking a bubble bath by candle light with him! Surprising him/her with coffee or breakfast in bed, bringing home flowers, writing a love poem about him/her and reading it to them, just sweet little things that say, "I care". Buy him something special for no reason.


Another big way to heat things up is in the bedroom. First of all, talk about it. Talk about sex?! Not just about sex, about YOUR sex! It may feel awkward at first, but it is very exciting and it makes you feel closer and want each other even more, plus when you know what the other likes, dislikes and wants, you can meet each others' needs better. And don't just talk, listen to one another. Dump the criticisms and (oh my, dare I say it...) name calling. "I told you so's" are OUT!


Date your spouse. You might say, "What do you mean, date my spouse? I'm married to him/her." Setting dates with your spouse will keep you feeling young and excited again.


In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, its easy to get lost in the jungle of life. If you want to relight the romance in you marriage, follow some of these suggestions, and your marriage will be on its way to a heatwave!

"All about Marriage"

Marriage

The decision to get married is probably one of the most important life decisions you will ever make. You would naturally want everything to go well. The information below seeks to help you and your partner "breeze" through the path towards marriage. All the best in your new life journey ahead! A memorable wedding, a happy marriage and a perfect home are things all couples dream of. However, this can’t be achieved through love and romance alone. Serious commitment and hard work is needed as well. The key to a happy and healthy marriage involves developing your relationship with your partner and knowing each other well enough to understand how you want to share your lives together. It is also important to develop necessary skills, such as communication, parenting, financial and time management skills, in order to create a successful marriage.

Are you ready for marriage?.

Questions you should ponder:

Is this person right for me?
Am I right for this person?
Qualities that make good partners:

Capacity for love
Ability to understand the feelings of others
Responsible
Secure
Economically stable
Similarity in religious faith
Similarity in family background
Similarity in lifestyle and outlook of life

Why do you want to marry?.

It is important that you enter marriage with realistic expectations.

Some reasons why people marry:
- To enjoy lifelong companionship and mutual support
- To have a sense of fulfillment in being married
- To meet sexual & physical needs
- To have children

Wrong reasons to marry:
- To escape family problems
You may find that family problems are not resolved by marriage.
- To escape feelings of loneliness or insecurity
You may be disappointed as both these feelings may also be experienced in marriage.
- Being pressured into marrying by friends or family
This is not a good enough reason for getting married.
- Fear of being ‘left on the shelf’
This is not a sufficient reason for marriage.
- Premarital pregnancy
You need to deal with the pregnancy separate from marriage.

Marriage Readiness Checklist.

Discuss with your partner if you agree or disagree on the following questions:

1. How is our relationship?

We can talk easily with each other
We can deal with conflicts satisfactorily
We feel loved and accepted by each other
We know and have met each other’s family
2. Are we ready financially?

At least one of us has a stable job
We have savings for the wedding
We are financially independent
Marriage is lifetime commitment, so it is important that you are adequately prepared for it. Ponder carefully over your reasons for wanting to get married to be sure that you are ready to take the plunge.

Marriage Preparation Courses.

Marriage Preparation Courses help to prepare you and your partner for your journey. Both of you can expect to learn about the following interesting and enriching topics:

Marriage roles and responsibilities
Finance management
Sexual intimacy
Conflict management
Communication
Relationship with in-laws
Knowing each other and family-of-origin issues
Personality tests (optional) to gain a deeper understanding of each other. Eg. Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis (T-JTA), Myer-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), PREPARE inventory

How to Be a Great Wife

These are some suggestions that are good for both sides of a healthy relationship.

Steps

1. Enjoy pleasing him. Laughter keeps a marriage strong. Men like to be appreciated even after you've married them. To do so, be a well-rounded, pleasing person yourself.
2. Have as your goal for each small interaction of day, to leave him with a good feeling. Be supportive, Be nice, and Be kind.your
3. Listen to his day and share yours. Being married also means being intimate. Intimacy does not exclusively involve sex. Intimacy is listening to one another and feeling comfortable enough to tell one another anything.
4. Support him and try to understand his needs, a man likes nothing more than an understanding and an equally compromising wife.
5. Don't show him even the mildest forms of contempt. Contempt is poison in a relationship. It is fine to disagree with him, but do not take on an attitude of superiority, even subtly in passing, such as momentary smirking, sighs of disgust or eye-rolling.
6. Don't do everything for him, but do things for him often. Don't let yourself be taken for granted, though! And more importantly, don't take him for granted.
7. Don't be too insecure. Putting yourself down in front of him is another way of insulting his taste in women. If he is with you, it's because he wants to be. He will find you sexy even if you don't feel like you, if you act the part. Remember that attitude and willingness are large parts of being sexy.
8. Keep your sex life interesting. Be willing to try new things and discuss them--don't just turn them down immediately if he suggests something you don't find appealing. This may make him feel rejected and lose interest in you. At least be willing to discuss it, and perhaps try it, but never do anything you are uncomfortable with after discussing it with him. Also, don't be afraid to discuss anything you might be interested in.
9. Expect the best from him, too. If he wants to be treated well then he needs to do the same for you. You aren't his doormat!
10. Don't expect the moon. Do not expect your husband to exactly follow wikiHow's "How To Be A Great Husband". He needs to keep trying, you need to keep trying, but neither of you is perfect. Unmet expectations tend to frustrate everyone. However, if you both plan on giving seventy percent of what is required to make the marriage work, you will always be covered, even when one of you comes up a little short.
11. Love him, care for him when he's sick and needs help. Don't obsess over him, but don't leave him entirely to himself. He does need love, just like you do, and many men especially appreciate attention when they are unwell.
12. Compliment your husband. Everyone likes compliments, but you have to mean them.
13. Every so often remind him that no one can take better care of him like you can (even though he relies on his mother or grand-mother from time to time and don't get offended by that).
14. Sense of humor is always best - find his inner child,laugh and relax with him.
15. Teach your children how to honor and respect him (by doing so yourself).
16. Don't be afraid to challenge him (if you know that you know that you know). He'll find it sexy that you're willing to show him your strengths.
17. When life gets difficult and you are not getting along as well as you would like, find his "love language" and speak it abundantly. Give him gifts, encourage him, make love, whatever it may be. You may even want to do something a little different. Most men have higher sex drives than women, so you adjust accordingly
18. If you want something done, speak his love language and ask for the thing you want only once, give him space, and it will be done if it is at all possible.

[edit] Tips

• Always expect the right to have an orgasm during sex. If he does, you can too! It's only fair - sex is something both of you do, so you both get to reap the rewards! Besides, many men find their wife's orgasm to be as emotionally rewarding as their own, many times more rewarding - it's not a competition!
• Remember to take time for yourself as well!
• Accept his faults, and embrace your own.
• Do your share of the work, not just the housework.
• Have a cheery disposition. No one wants to be around a crabby person.
• Learn something new, and encourage him to learn it with you.
• Work out financial plans together including setting a household budget that is proportional to each person's income, saving for retirement, or writing your will together. People have different spending styles, so joint bank accounts may simply be asking for unnecessary tension in an otherwise healthy relationship. Both people should contribute in proportion to what they make, and both should have some personal money. Often one person has better skill when it comes to finances; it is fine for one person to work on the budget as long as the other is involved and cooperates.
• If he won't work with you, don't be afraid to save money for yourself. Do not rely on your husband to support you should he die or divorce you. Be a smart, modern woman, but a balanced wife in a good marriage does not "start saving for the divorce the day after your wedding" - if you expect to get divorced from day one, you probably will!

[edit] Warnings

• Nagging can damage a relationship. As long as the dishes are clean and unbroken, don't nag about how to load the dishwasher "the right way." Let him do things his own way. Don't sweat the small stuff and focus on what is important.
• Check on how positive your interactions are. When you see each other, how often is the experience a positive one? If you find you have negative experiences all the time, you are headed in a bad direction. Don't just talk it out- be proactive yourself about restoring positivity to the relationship and he will follow.
• Poor self-esteem and a "void" in your life is terrible for marriage. Make sure you still have a fun and interesting life. If your husband left tomorrow, would you still have girlfriends you see at least once a month, hobby clubs you go to, sports you play? If not, your husband will always be working to fill a void he can't, and will feel inadequate and unhappy.
• If your expectations are truly too high or unrealistic, then set standards that are obtainable. It is unfair to expect to be lavished with possessions and have the love of your life home for every meal. Should you want more together time be prepared to have that desire fulfilled at some expense.
• Never lie to him. Not even a little.
• If he really is lazy then be prepared to lovingly but firmly tell him - don't pick a fight over it, but realize that if you won't pull him up for it, who will? Make him accountable. If he is supposed to do the dishes, don't get frustrated and do them for him. Even if it takes days, it isn't your job.
• Don't overspend. Even on groceries. Be responsible together with your money. Learning to cook, cook extra, and make enough for leftovers will make the difference between a fine retirement and a wealthy one.
• Except in the rare event that your husband also happens to be psychic, don't expect mind-reading powers. If you want something, ask. If something is wrong, say so. Don't drop hints or figure he'll "come around", communicate calmly but clearly and directly.
• Make a comfortable place in the house where you both can be together, but almost "alone" at the same time. Not in each other's faces, but there for each other.
• Men and women tend to work differently. Man, in a general sense, are happiest when they know they have done something to please the woman they love. Women are happiest when a man shows both that he wants to please her and that he respects her feelings. Relationships work best when women calmly express their current emotion without harping on what he has done. Frequently, a "I feel attacked" or "I feel sad" is all it takes for him to step back and ask, "Why?" Then simply say, "When you slammed the door, I felt ignored." Let "I feel" be your guide. He will step in to find a solution and make a decision that will please you.
• Allow him to submit to you with his love and correction. Don't say he does not submit because he does not do everything you tell him to do.
• Submission doesn't mean rolling over and dying every time you disagree - it means preferring his happiness to your own. However, this only works in a marriage if he (your husband) prefers your happiness to HIS own, too, so don't judge him because he is not submissive but give him time to submit as he should, all men are different. Of course, when you do show submission without partiality, you will eventually receive what you deserve (sometimes getting what you want takes more time).
• Allow your husband be the head. If you do, in your agreements you will see a strong family developing as long as love is involved.
• If you're forced to do things, if he hits you at all, if he tries to control who you see or demeans you, it's definitely not a very good relationship. A real man gets what he wants without forcing. Talk things out or see a counselor.
• If he turns violent, even once, make sure you're safe. Depending on the situation that might mean moving out, or calling the police, or telling someone what's happening - whatever you do, don't continue to suffer in silence, and don't accept abuse (physical or otherwise) in your relationship. Remember - he will come back, as loving as ever, and apologize again and again and again - and the violence escalates each time.

How to Be a Great Husband

This is the most challenging and rewarding things you'll ever do. A woman needs to feel as though she is the love of your life.

Steps

1. Enjoy pleasing her. Women need to feel appreciated. Verbal appreciation goes a long way in making a woman feel valued. A wife likes to know that you feel lucky to be married to her.
2. Have as your goal for each small interaction of your day, to leave her with a good feeling. Be supportive. Be considerate. Be kind. Be respectful at all times.
3. Try to understand her needs. Ask her what they are and show her that you fully understand what makes her happy. A woman likes nothing more than an understanding and an equally compromising husband.
4. Tell her you love her when you hang up the phone with her, leave her, and generally as much as possible without being annoying or cheapening the phrase. You never know when your time is up so always remember to make sure she knows how much you love her!
5. Always greet your wife with a hug and kiss that says that you're happy to see her and do the same when you leave her to say you will miss her.
6. Find new ways to express your love other than with kisses and the words "I love you." Tell her what you love about her, what makes her special, what you appreciate. This will help your love to grow as well as hers.
7. Be her greatest supporter. Be someone she knows that she can always count on. Be there for her when she has had a long day. Listen to her with attentive eyes and ears. Back her up "100" percent! Be prepared to talk with her about how she feels, and yes, how you feel too. And always protect her, both physically and emotionally. If you have done something to hurt her, even if you didn't mean to, tell her you are sorry and show her affection. This must be sincere! There's nothing worse than an "I;m sorry that is put on or phoney.
8. Talk to her about things that interest you, too -- don't worry too much that she'll be bored -- she'll be thrilled that you want to share your hobbies with her. If possible, try to find an aspect of your interest that she can join in with (if she doesn't already). The efforts you make to help her enjoy what you enjoy will pay off enormously!
9. Nurture your wife. Little things go a long way! For example, making breakfast, making her coffee/cocoa, giving her back rubs; anything to make her feel comfy and loved. Remind her that you find her attractive in different ways. #Understand that your personal relationship should be more important to you than your other family members, work etc. This is especially true in blended families where there is a tendency for parents to defend their kids against their new spouse. If you put your kids ahead of your wife, she will never engage with them and they won't respect either of you. She is your partner in all things. Treat her as such. If you're worried about looking independent in front of them, then talk with your wife and set clear expectations about what decisions you can make without each other, and what decisions must absolutely be discussed. But also, ask yourself why you feel you should look independent instead of married. It may not be hard to say "Let me talk this over with my other half".
10. Wash the dishes! Don't make her nag you into doing your share of the housework. Identify what your share is and then stick to it regularly. Don't wait for her to remind you. This makes her feel like a nag, and it creates an adult/child relationship. Show her she can count on you to get things handled, especially the more labor intensive things like mowing the lawn. Keep up the house in good repair. Generally, women like their homes to look nice, particularly from the outside.
11. Don't show her even the mildest forms of contempt. Contempt is poison in a relationship. You don't have to act like you like what she said or did, but do not take on an attitude of superiority, even subtly in passing, such as momentary smirking, sighs of disgust or eye-rolling. Such gestures, though seemingly insignificant, deeply show a lack of support, respect and trust, especially over a period of time. The way you naturally act towards her should subtly validate her as a person, even when you do not understand or agree with her. Giving eye contact when she has something important to tell you shows respect; not giving eye contact shows disrespect and that you don't care about her or what she has to say. This will destroy any attempt to communicate well.
12. Be honest! Nothing will destroy a relationship faster than dishonesty. Even if its a little lie, an attempt to conceal pieces of information, avoiding telling her everything or not telling her where you're going or where you've been, it causes a disconnection. There can be no intimacy without complete honesty. You both feel it. It can utterly destroy the validity of anything else you say or do for her because if you lie about other things, she will surely not believe you when you say "I love you." So, don't lie. Always tell her the whole truth.

[edit] Tips

• When she's upset, listen, listen, listen. Resist the urge to offer advice unless she asks for it, and don't get defensive. Just listen, and show her that you are trying to understand.
• Husbands and Wives live together but make sure you spend enough time on her turf as you do your own. Make her see that wherever you are you feel like home when you are with her.
• Women love a home-cooked meal. Find your inner Jacques Pépin.
• Offer your wife a massage, foot rub, or back scratch when she's had a bad day.
• Praise your wife in public, but if you notice something you'd like to criticize, please find a private moment. In public make sure everyone around you knows she is your girl! Hold hands whenever possible, kiss, hug, a tap on the butt. To her you are letting everyone know you're off the market.
• A nice romantic gesture goes a long way! Even if it's a little love note to start the day. Light some candles, run a hot bath, wash her hair. These are just a few ideas.
• Be aware that she may not perceive love the same way you do. Quality Time, Gifts, Physical Touch, Verbal Affirmation, and Acts of Service are the different "Love Languages" you and your wife might have -- make sure you find out what hers is, and speak her "love language"!
• Show up at her work or home with just a flower or two; this will brighten her day and you will make her feel like she is the most important woman in the world.
• Discuss your values together and make sure that they are compatible before doing something permanent.
• Discuss your financial dreams together and research and plan to achieve them together.
• Continue spending time with her alone and cherishing her.
• Tell her you find her attractive and why.
• Never compare her to other women and never ogle them in front of her. In fact if you're tempted, switch your thoughts to her immediately and remind yourself that she is the one you desire.
• Always validate her feelings. Women often need to run through the gamut of feelings they have about things out loud in order to understand what it is they really feel about something. Let her do this without judging her and be empathetic instead of defensive or critical even if you don't agree or can't understand things the same way.
• Discuss her strengths.
• Make sure you continue to grow and change; you may drift apart, but you may also become a better and more exciting person with each growth spurt you undergo.

Dating a single mom

In today's society, it is not uncommon for you to date a single mom at some time in your life. This can be a problem for some men. They may not want to date someone that has children.However, this cannot be controlled if they feel a special bond to them. The one thing to remember is that you are dating the person and the role of the person.

A woman will want to be noticed and appreciated for every one of her qualities and not judged by a role that she is in.Sometimes having children was not a situation that she wanted to be in but just one that happened and now it is her responsibility.

1) Exploring the RelationshipIf you really like a woman and you want to go on and explore the relationship further, you will have to concentrate on the one on one part first. There will be a time and place to meet her child or children later on in the relationship.It is first going to about getting to know her better and learn how to start trust each other. You need to move past the fact that she is a mom and worry about that a little bit later on. First, see where the relationship is going and what you are both feeling.

2) Accept the children's needsYou will eventually have to realize and accept that the children's needs are a going to be a priority at times. She does not really want to cancel an important date with you but if her child is sick or she cannot get a babysitter this is something that you have to deal with.As a man, you will have to come to the realization that her children come first and they are the most important part of her life. You need to be prepared for any last minute changes or cancellations that can happen because she has other obligations at home.Do not take it out on her when she does have to cancel for these reasons. It is not her fault or the fault of the child. It happens and it is best to be flexible and understanding when these things come up.You need to make sure that you do not give her the guilt trip when she has to cancel plans or if something would come up. You need to make sure that give her a chance to explain and make other arrangements for a next time.

3) Meet the children on her termsWhen it does come time to meet her children, you have to do it on her terms and her schedule. Make sure that you are putting yourself in the shoes of the children for a minute. They have probably had a hard time with the separation of their parents.This is usually a hard time to see his or her mom go out with someone else. You need to be patient and understanding. Try to be their friend but do not push them or expect too much at all. You have to be able to accept them for who they are and how they feel.Give it time and you will see that things should work themselves out and everyone will get along eventually.

4) Never expect too muchYou should not expect to be welcomed in by her children or other family members right away. You need to be patient and have understanding about what is going on. This is going to be a difficult transaction and one that needs to be dealt with care and devotion.Having a good method of understanding with everyone is going to be the best way to get through this time. You cannot push anyone to like you and never act cocky or arrogant in any way.Having common sense. Think about how you would feel if you were put in the same situation. You want to make sure that you are giving everyone space and time. Never push a woman into making her kids do something or giving her a guilt trip when she cannot go out with you. You do not want to make this a hard situation.

In fact, you can make sure that you are giving her support when it comes to this situation. She will appreciate you more because you are being so supportive and understanding with her and her children.

Sexcitement - How to Keep Your Sex Life Exciting

Add spice to your sex life without extraneous and artificial stimulants. Just explore and vary your intimate moments.

The secret of exciting sex lies in the mind. It is the mind that makes and keeps it exciting. Seductive externals play a secondary part. Every woman cannot be a Angelina Jolie. But any woman can try to be exciting. Women who have a sparkling selfconcept, with varied interests, and are not passive are peppy. They are exciting in life as well as in love.

Sex can be exciting and a lot of fun. Women looking to spark their sex lives must realise that there are few people who are at peak performance all the time, in every situation. Expecting sexual relations to be super every time is expecting a full moon every night. This does not happen. However, variety is possible and marital sex can be saved from becoming boring. The most important thing is to look upon it as a game. Sporting sex needs stimuli for the senses, variations, timing, and locations, and changes in conversation and articulation.

Animals have a lesson to teach. Though devoid of language, they do not make love in silence. They express their excitement in many ways. They articulate their joy in cries, grunts and exciting, joyful sounds. These expressions give vent to their happiness. Take your cue from them. Talk sex with your partner. It increases intimacy and enriches your love life. Change the menu! Happy couples do not eat the same food in the same room. They change. It may be a TV dinner in one room, a hurried snack for breakfast, or a quiet dinner in the dining room. This is another cue! Apply the variation ploy.

The wife who desires her husband passionately knows that she will pay the price for the notion that sexual happiness in marriage just comes naturally. The marital love and sex come spontaneously and impulsively without any effort. Routine takes its toll. One couple I know are both working. The husband is so engrossed to prove himself occupationally every day that he is reluctant to prove himself as marital lover at night. He waits for his wife to turn him on, but she waits for his initiative.

The working wife too is so busy proving herself as an efficient worker that she has little energy left for being seductive. The result is a stalemate. A stimulating sex life is important to such a couple. They need, at least periodically, to let their sexual activities have priority on their time, energy, and planning. They must find a slot for sex.

There are good ways to follow. Some wives do this by having a special day! Others locate a "lover's lane." Some try the bacK seat of the car for old time's sake! One couple has named a room in the house linked with sexual relations. They know "secrets" are a source of thrills and excitement in sex life. They mention the code name, look at each other, the spark ignites, and off they go to their love nest.

For some couples, this may include even closets, as well as the front and back yards. This takes effort, but it breaks monotony as it raises expectations.

SHARE FANTASIES

Talk the trick. Have a code. One wife asks "What would you like special for dinner (sex) tonight?" Husband loves her initiative if she asks, "Is there an important committee meeting today?" Sexual unions are top experience on occasion. They can also be physically rough or even bland, and sometimes unsatisfying. Do not lose sight of its variations.

Practical couples know that growing sexually is as difficult and as joyous as growth in any other area of marriage. To grow, both partners must know what the other wants, likes, and does not. Mind-reading is out. It must be a new ball game, a new session. When you explore each other, offer and solicit raw data on what feels good and bad, to express desires and make requests, then new avenues of sexual pleasure open up.

One husband may like his wife to explore his penile territory. Another may love her nibbling his nipples. She may love tickling over her navel region. Only open communication can result in exploration and the resultant joy. Recapturing a memorable moment adds warmth to sexual relations. It may also suggest specific settings which were once (and may again be) stimulating. The more you explore, the more you discover. And the more you travel, the more you see.

Sharing fantasies can be a source of new sensual pleasures and possibilities. Fantasies of sexual activities which one would never think of really doing are often stimulating in themselves. Some couples find relating fantasies during intercourse to be stimulating. Other mental pictures may prove enticing enough to actually try out!

The range of sexual stimuli you can experience together is limitless. It includes movies, books and tapes with similar content. Sexy clothing for both spouses is not uncommon, but one should not assume that he or she knows what the other will consider sexy. A push-up bra may excite the husband while the wife may not think much of it.

SEXUAL FOREPLAY

When was the last time you showered together? Or explored each other's bodies tenderly through a perfumed massage? Have you told your husband how you like your breasts caressed? Firmly grasped? Softly stroked? And the nipples - should they be kissed, licked, or bitten? And does this vary from early foreplay to after intercourse?

This is exciting as sexuality is tied with love messages. A note with "I love you" can open floodgates of feeling. This is symbolic but highly exciting. The goal for both is to have more sexual fun, in more loving closeness. Sex is a game played between two partners. Yet, couples vary in their capacities to appreciate sex and in their feelings as to what is exciting. The only way to get it going is to make it a two-way lane. Inject novelty. One wife realised that she made every effort to plan off-beat recreation for the family, but never thought of herself as a sexual partner. Awareness is needed to begin changing the sexual scenario.

A sensitive and eager wife finds her own ways to avoid the goody groove. One found that changing the lighting in the bedroom gave her and her husband a newness which they enjoyed.

DISCOVER NOVELTIES

One husband may like to undress his wife tenderly bit by bit. Another may like her to enter the bedroom topless. Does the wife know it? Or does she persist with the conventional way?

Exciting sex on a healthy basis is possible where there is mutual trust empathy. One is stimulated by new words, new gestures, fresh sequences. But one must be reasonably sure that these novelties are mutually pleasurable.

Experimentation and variety become tiresome unless partners find ways that put them in closer touch with their own and their partner's wants and wishes. Each needs to tune in on one's own and partner's thoughts, feelings and actions to work at achieving and maintaining communication. The aim is to experiment with the 'emotional as well as the physical. The goal is reaching the gold mine of hidden happiness. One easy way is by simply touching each other and exchanging information about what is most pleasing.

Discover and try new positions. New techniques for mutual arousal, of feelings about what is happening and modifications suiting individual requirements and open those portals of love paradise earlier hidden from each other. Love becomes mutually shared and enjoyed. It promotes joy and more love. It builds on and keeps building trust, respect, concern, tenderness, caring. It enriches life.

Communication is unlikely to lead to boredom. It leads to emotional delight and sexual intimacy. The more natural you make your sexual relationship, the better it becomes. Express yourself. Make your partner express himself or herself. This mutual sensitivity to the needs and desires of your partner is a way of keeping marital sex from becoming lacklustre. You can make life sexciting!

CLUELESS GROOM?!?

10 things you need to know about getting married

1) Propose to someone with a good sense of humor. She'll need it.
2) It doesn't matter how much you spend on an engagement ring, as long as it's way more than you can afford.
3) She will not promise to "obey" you. Don't ask.
4) Have at least one good argument about a detail of your wedding plans, just to show you care.
5) When you lose this argument, lose graciously.
6) Carry a handkerchief during the ceremony. Wedding gowns don't have pockets.
7) In your wedding toast, make sure to thank your wife, your parents and her parents.
8) Have at least one glass of water between every drink at your reception, and don't forget to eat something.
9) Don't forget to pack birth control for your wedding night.
10) Nothing will be perfect. Not your ceremony, not your reception, not your wife, not your children and certainly not you. Expect perfection and you guarantee disappointment. Embrace imperfection, and you open yourself to all manner of happy surprises.

Role Of Women in Marriage & Home

The Lord said: "I will make a help meet." That happened when the man was only in the garden. (Genesis 2:18). (Genesis 2:18). And still narrating the Bible And still narrating the Bible: "From the rib he had removed the man, the Lord God made a woman and was presented to man" (Genesis 2:22) "From the rib he had removed the man , the Lord God made a woman and was presented to man "(Genesis 2:22) I noticed the word "help meet" and "rib" of Adam. I noticed the word "help meet" and "rib" of Adam.

Women are not less than men is because of the same substance of the man. Women are not less than men is because of the same substance of the man. Neither is a suitable patron as what some people think, but it is a "help meet" as said writing. Neither is a suitable pattern as what some people think, but it is a "help meet" as said writing. It is a partner in administering the household under the leadership of men. It is a partner in administering the household under the leadership of men. It is a help meet. It is a help meet.

Well then Proverbs 14:1 says: "The wise woman builds her house, the foolish, with his hands destroyed." If you are wise you will be a help meet, but you can destroy your home.

Ephesians 5:22 says: "Wives, sométanse to their own husbands as to the Lord" and later in

Ephesians 5:33 "that the wife respects her husband." Women instead of riding a feminist movements should fulfil its role within from home. Here are some points to remember about the subjugation of women to male authority: Here are some points to remember about the subjugation of women to male authority:

1. Being in what he does not harm its biblical and spiritual beliefs. Show dignified resistance to wrong. Show dignified resistance to wrong.

2. When it does not harm their physical integrity.

3. Support in all its activities and ideals with love and respect. (If you are not a Christian this could be instrumental in coming to Christ as 1 Peter 3:1,2).

4. Women should leave him to be his head and help you make good decisions. 4. Women should let him be your head and help you make good decisions.

That he is the head and not think well does not mean that you have to stay silent and receive damage.

Let's see what he says Proverbs 31:10-31 on the qualities of the virtuous woman: Let's see what he says Proverbs 31:10-31 on the qualities of the virtuous woman: V.10-is virtuous: I could say "is full of virtues.

" Has qualities holy woman worthy of admiration

V.10-is virtuous: I could say "is full of virtues." Has qualities holy woman worthy of admiration.

V. 11 - Create confidence in the husband: A woman who does not fulfil its role as her husband desconfié it because their attitudes always carry ills.

V. 12 - Hacedora good: Her husband receives no offenses, assault or damaging criticism.

12 - Hacedora good: Her husband receives no offenses, assault or damaging criticism. Not pendenciera or seek litigation with people.Nor is murmuradora and devoted to gossip. Focuses on making good to his family, to his friends, to the needy and the church.

V. 13-19 - worker and head of household: Not a haragana only asks rights rather than sue they earn on their lifestyle. You do not need to fight to win respect. Anda attentive to the needs of home and it's a good administrator of the money, not wasteful. If you can work it does. Although not taken full responsibility, then, the man said: "Your husband is respected in the community, a position between the authorities of the place." (V.23) Women who demand rights, behold their obligations. They may do more than many men if they wanted to.

V. 20 - compassion on the need for others: It is not selfish, or lack of love. I love to the needy. Today women are required to live the principles of the kingdom of God not only with words but with their attitudes towards people in need.While men macho spirit mistreating women and promoting authority they do not deserve nor have won, women could transform the world of people in need. It is not that women are an instrument sex. That is a lie.In light of the women's writing is more than that. Women have always played a pivotal role in biblical scripture. Who was Jesus to death? Who was Jesus to death? Women Who not denied at the time carrying the cross? Women. Who you were born?From a woman. From a Woman. Who prevented the death of the Jews exposing their lives to the King Vashti?A Woman: Esther. It may continue citing more examples of women of God.Women are important to God.
We are looking for women as well.

V. 26 - Wisdom: Your wisdom shown in taking wise decisions in raising their children, things from home and his treatment for the husband.

V. 30.31 - Its beauty is internal rather than external: Not vanidosa nor ostentatious but simple. That may be more admired that teach the body in the streets.

Common questions of women:

1. Do I have to undergo the man even if this does not take his place as head? The truth is that many women do not leave men as the head because they themselves do not take their position.

They have to take control.
Some women say. A) He is not the head. B) does not take the initiative to be head.The women must submit to men forever.What we really can do is

1. Teach a man to be head not taking decisions that belong to him.

2. Show responsibility to the man in the moments that do not wish to take. Find the right time. .

3. Identify the consequences that implies that he did not take his authority.

2. Does Valen my opinions at home? Of course, your ideas are not worth less than men. In reality the decisions of the household would have to be mutually agreed and taking all points of view. If the view of women is not respected it should find a way to make them known explaining the pros and cons of the views of him versus her.

3. Do I have to undergo around and even I stay silent in the face abuse him? The answer is no. As we mentioned at the beginning women should be careful not to respect their rights. You must be careful that the orders it receives no contrary convictions.If so, she may make a dignified resistance, without shouting or blows, with the strength of the word of God and prayer. The role of women at home should not be silent, or a hostile environment and abuse did it. A woman has much to do.Instead of being a passive woman who seeks only their rights should be really concerned about fulfilling its role.The role of women in marriage (entiéndase relationship between husband and wife), and at home (the whole kernel) is important not only because of the responsibility that goes with it socially but by what God says about them.

What Do Women Want? Learn the Little Known Qualities Which Every Woman Wants in Her Man

So what do women want? This is the question which has been raised time and again but the true answer is not known yet. Do women want money? Do they desire looks? What is it exactly that women want? Read on to discover some of the little known qualities every woman desires in her man.

Looks don't count- Looking good does not always have to be exceptionally good looking but looking neat and presentable. As long as you are neat and presentable any woman would be happy to initiate a conversation with you. Therefore the age old myth that looks count is only a myth and not a fact.

Do you always pour your heart out- Well it can be good if you are talking to someone who is flooded with emotions but women like men who are mysterious and are hard to figure. If you are an open book and tell the story of your life on the very first conversation you have with any woman than forget about getting a date and work on your attitude.

Are you emotionally ill? - Some guys are very high on emotions and look for female company just to satisfy their emotional needs to be around a woman. Women always try their best to stay away from such men. Yes women are emotional but the do not prefer men who are emotional specially cry babies.

How much control can you practice? - Women like a man who can control them and the situation and behave like a true leader. You don't want to fall into the nice guy category as they are the most used and abused one's when it comes to dating. Learn to stay in total control and don't let her dominate. Remember if she dominates you she gets the power to dump you.

Tell stories and draw her in- Women love men who are good at communication specially the one's who are great with story telling and can keep them entertained. Communication is an extremely essential part and women prefer men who can talk and talk some sense. Not all men are blessed with this power but you can easily master it with time and practice. Make it a point to read and listen as much as possible. Study the way other people talk and dictate and try to follow the same.

Principles Making Marriage Last

The Eight Principles That Make a Relationship Work


Things that should be done to your partner

Criticism - Attacking the person instead of stating how you feel about the troublesome behavior.

Defensiveness - High tension and lack of listening when discussing.

Contempt - Lack of respect and sarcasm in response to or about your partner.

Stonewalling - Emotional shutdown and unresponsiveness in response to attempts to communicate, especially about areas of conflict.

Back Stubbing-Saying bad things when your partner is not around

Habitual Lying- Frequent lying to cover up the mistakes committed

Doubtful-Untrusting attitude towards your partner,lack of openess in all aspects.


5 positives to 1 negative
The presence of marital conflict that gets resolved.
The seven principles are outlined below and can be read about in more detail in Dr. Gottman’s book, The Seven Principles That Make Marriage Work.


Principle 1
Enhance your love map
Develop a sense of the other’s joys, likes, dislikes, fears and stresses
Plenty of cognitive room for marriage
Better prepared to cope with the stressful events and conflict

Principle 2
Nurture your fondness and admiration
Reminding yourself of your spouses positive qualities
Antidotes for contempt
Prevents the four horsemen

Principle 3
Turn toward each other instead of away
Correct distorted notions of what fuels romance
Put effort into to staying connected verbally & physically
Respond to bids for partner’s attention, affection, humor or support.

Principle 4
Let Your Partner Influence You,let him/her feel that his/her voice is being heard & had big importance,always consult each other in any decision that you should make this will make your bond more stronger.
Inspire each other by competing in a very healthy manner.Always support each other emotionally,spiritually,mentally & financially.

Yield to win,join force to succeed,always be there for each other in whether in times of joy or grief.
Search for common ground instead of insisting on your way.
Give strength when one is losing hope,be aware & sensitive with your partner's needs
Share power,both should learn to give the autority/power sharing to established solid foundation of respect for each other,not induce fear because it will not do any good.



Principle 5
Solve Solvable Problems,it is not advisable to keep your problems unsolved for a long time ,it will just lead to a bigger problem,voice out & point out what should be done.
Soften your start up .Make repair attempts .Soothe self and other
Compromise , learn to set aside your own pride , learn to forgive but you should let your partner know your standards & forgiveness should be repaid by not committing the same mistakes.
You should be aware of what would hurt him/her because if you really love each other you will not do things that will hurt him/her in anyway.
Be tolerant of faults

Principle 6
Overcoming Gridlock
The goal in ending gridlock is not to solve the problem but rather to move from gridlock to dialogue about deep dreams.

Principle 7
Create shared meaning,staying in a marriage is not an obligation , always think it as a blessing & you do things for each other because you love each other & you are united as one.
Share Rituals , Roles & Goals .Always let your other half know that he/she is part of your life not just in words but also by showing it through your action.

Principle 8
Trust is one of the most important factor of a relationship to last without trust you could be easily destroyed by problems that you will encounter.
This is guaranteed true,you should not keep secrets with your partner if you truly love each other.because if there is trust there is respect.If one committed a mistake or lied because of unavoidable cirscumstances have the courage to admit & ask forgiveness bec. it is better that it had come from you rather than to let him/her discover that will be more painful & unforgivable.In asking forgiveness you should be sincere in what you say not just to make things go your way.Don't ask forgiveness is you are not sincere bec. you are no one but yourself.

Be honest always whether he/she is not around,don't flirt in anyway.
Avoid temptation that may lead to unfaithfulness,Always keep in mind "prevention is better than cure."
Don't be dragged down by other people comments & advices,it is your life you know what is wrong & what is right ,if you have problems it is your other half that you should consult bec. you married each other to act as one & be there for each other always for better or for worst ,for richer & for poorer.

Always keep on mind the reasons why did you chose to marry him/her,always nurture the love as if it is like a newly wed,continuous courtship,do adventure together that will make your relationship more colorful & strengthens your bonding as a couples.


In summary, a couple has to actively cultivate an atmosphere of positivism and support while using conflict resolution and repair attempts to keep resentment out of the relationship.

Couples need to be perfect for each other for long-lasting marriage

To be a perfect wife


The perfect wife knows how to provide the harmonic balance within the family unit. She knows how to balance career, domestic chores, taking care of the children and support her husband emotionally. The perfect wife has many roles to fulfill and finds it both a challenge and rewarding. Not every woman wants to be the perfect wife. Many women will purposely try to be something different to establish their independence. Even those women that rebuff the idea of a perfect wife, read on. There are many deep emotional rewards for striving to be the perfect wife.The perfect wife knows how to smile at those jokes that aren't really that funny. She manages a small laugh and doesn't remind her husband that he has told that joke before repeatedly. Without her husband knowing it, the perfect wife embraces these age old jokes over and over as if they were brand new. The perfect wife will know that one day her husband might be in a nursing home not able to even recognize who she is. It will be that day that these old jokes will be a memory that keeps her going daily to visit her wonderful husband. The perfect wife finds the energy to pick up the piles of clothes, socks strewn about and the glasses that never make it back to the sink. Instead of clearing up after everyone and feeling like a maid, the perfect wife is proud of her home. It will drive her nuts to have the little messes here and there. She cleans up without a second thought as to who did it last time or why everyone around her can't seem to walk to the kitchen sink. She knows that one day the house will be childless and there won't be laughter as everyone is gathered around the TV watching a movie and forgetting their dishes. The perfect wife covets the memories that are being made in the household from an active family life.

The perfect wife wakes in the middle of the night to toss the covers back onto her husband because she wants him to stay warm. She doesn't sit up and wonder why she had to marry someone that thrashes about and snores so loudly. The perfect wife cherishes the quiet moments when she can watch her husband sleeping peacefully. Deep down she knows that one day her bed will be empty because she has become a widower. The perfect wife learns how to cook the dishes that are her husband's favorite to eat. Eventually, she even learns to like some of these dishes herself. When he calls her telling her that he will be late getting home for dinner, the perfect wife smiles and puts the meal on warm. She knows that it is a blessing that she has a man that is willing to work very hard to financially provide for the family. At least her husband is out working late and not at the local bar picking up women or ending up in jail. There will be a day that the only food her husband might be able to eat is puree meals from a straw.The perfect wife does not look at just today. The perfect wife does not keep score as to who has contributed the most or contributed what to a relationship. She values her marriage and embraces her friendship with her husband. When faced with multi-tasking and keeping the family balance, the perfect wife focuses on enjoying each moment for she is wise and knows that the precious moments of today are not forever. It is from the perfect wife that many of us could learn to cherish today and let yesterday's problems stay in the past.


To be a perfect husband

If you could tell someone how to be the almost perfect husband, what would you tell him?

That’s the question I posed to more than one thousand wives, ex-wives and widows, nearly all of whom freely offered advice. In the end, I had enough material for a book: How To Be The Almost Perfect Husband: By Wives Who Know.

After gathering all my data – a collection of one and two sentence bits of advice from wives to husbands - I set about the task of picking and choosing. What should I put in the book, and what should I leave out? In other words, it was my job to sift through all the advice I’d assembled and choose what was truly important to women. I made my decisions, shared the "final cut" with my wife and immediately got fired.

"That’s all you learned!?," she asked. Realizing she’d inadvertently stepped on my toes, she immediately followed up with the far more diplomatic, "Mind if I take a look for myself?" The moral of the story? Even with 1,000 wives explicitly telling me what they needed from their husbands, I still didn’t get it. I was just too much of a "man" to truly understand. That’s when my own wife lovingly stepped in and helped me to see what these wives truly crave. That said, here are "Three Top Tips for Pleasing Your Wife."

1. Listen
More than anything, women want their husbands to listen. Not try to solve their problems or offer advice, but simply to listen. As Becky, 33, advises: "When I'm having a bad day and complaining a lot, please just listen. Forget the advice on how to make things better. Just tell me you love me and give me a hug." Brenda, 36, adds: "Always listen to what your wife has to say no matter how uninteresting or boring it is to you. It's important to her or she wouldn't be sharing it with you."

2. Show her you love her
It’s the little things you do for her that let your wife know she’s truly loved. "Surprise her with something small," says Rowena, married 23 years, "like bring home take-out without being asked." As Jennifer, 22 - married just nine months! - explains: "Instead of telling me, show me you love me. A kiss when I least expect it. Flowers for no reason. Hold my hand when we’re in public, and in private. Little surprises like these can sometimes mean much more than words."

What if you’re a man who’s married to a modern, "self-sufficient" woman, someone who’s fully capable of taking care of herself? Erika, 45, is just such a woman. Yet her request is much the same: "Even though I’m strong and modern and self-sufficient, do surprising, sweet, I’m-here-to-pamper-and-care-for-you things." As for specifics, consider these:

"Write me little notes and give me funny cards a little more often, like you did when we were courting." – Jennifer, 32, married 6 years

"Once in a while, send me a little surprise at work – so the people around me are jealous that I have the perfect mate." – Marilee, 46, married 22 years

"Light a candle every once in a while – even when the power doesn’t go out." – Linda, 48, married 28 years

Finally, Cynthia, married 14 years, shares this loving behavior: "Do what my husband does: When I wake up at 3 A.M. filled with worry, he rubs my back, holds my hand and says things will look better in the light of day. Then he doesn’t fall asleep until I do."

3. Tell her you love her
While actions may speak louder than words, words hold their own special power – both positive and negative. Jeannie, 55, separated for seven years, writes: "Think before you speak. Words can damage and cut to the bone." Be careful not only to guard your tongue, but use your words to cherish and embrace. Maureen, 62, writes: "Learn to say: ‘I love you.’ Acting as if you do is great, but it’s nice to hear it once in a while." Sally, 47, advises: "Tell her you love her three times a day. ‘I love you’ is like mayonnaise. It has a very short shelf life."

And while you’re at it, follow the advice of Deborah, 42: "Tell her she looks pretty. At least once a day!"

Questions for reflections:



When your wife is telling you about a problem she’s having, are you truly listening or trying to come up with a solution to offer?
What did you do today that showed your life you truly love her?
What about yesterday and the day before?
When was the last time you said to your wife, "I love you"?
In an average week, how many times do you say those words?
How often do you tell your wife how attractive she is?

Tips on how she'll fall inlove with you head over heels;

1.Always appreciate her & tell how special she is for you.
Proven effective phrases;guaranteed!

You are a beautiful woman ,I love your mind ,I love your soul...You are an ANGEL!

I want to be honest with you!I won't talk or go out with other women bec. of you.
I am a man & sometimes i missed to have sex but i'll resist for you!

There are a lot of beatiful women anywhere but for me "YOU ARE THE ONE"


2.Compose a poem just for her or if you are not expert on making one,atleast give it a try express yourself,how you really feel.Your girl will really appreciate it.It is not about how beautiful the poem is what matter most is the effort you had exerted to let her know how much you love her.

3.Let her realized how special she is & having her is all you would ever wanted in life.

Top Reasons to be Romantic

You’ll be happier.
Your partner will be happier.
You’ll have sex more often.
You’ll enjoy sex more.
You’ll rise about mediocrity, and create an A+ Relationship.
You’ll experience the spark of infatuation again.
You’ll reduce the chance that your partner might cheat on you.
You’ll increase the probability that you’ll stay married.
You’ll add depth and meaning to your relationship.
You will create a safe haven where you can really be yourself.
You will be truly heard and deeply understood by one other human being.
You’ll save money by expressing your love in lots of little, creative ways.
Exercising your creativity will benefit you in other areas of your life.
You’ll probably live longer.
You’ll be better parents.
You’ll be great role models for your children.
You’ll be great role models for friends and neighbors.
Your children will understand love better than most kids.
Your children will experience what love is really all about.
Your children will have a better chance of choosing partners wisely.
Your children will be better able to create healthy love relationships.
You’ll make the world a better place.