Using Music to Change Your Mood

Music Can Affect Your Mood

Psychological effect of music and songs

It's generally known that listening to music when feeling down or disappointed can provide relief. What may not be commonly known is that music can also reduce stress, make depression more bearable and help you relax. There is even an expanding field of therapy called music therapy which uses music for healing. The big problem is that some people misuse the effect of music by listening to consecutive and random music and so result in making themselves feel worse!!

What Are the Benefits of Music?

Music has lots of benefits, a few of which will be explained in the following:

• Reducing stress: Music can relax your muscles reduce your breathing rate, both of which are directly related to stress and so contribute effectively to its reduction.
• Makes you happy: Music can stimulate your body to produce serotonin (the happiness hormone) and so elevate your mood.
• Alter your brain waves: Music can alter your brain wave pattern and so elevate your mood even after you stop listening to it.
• Motivates you: Something I am sure you have experienced before is that listening to motivating music can make you become more motivated yourself.

How People Misuse Music

All the previously mentioned benefits of music can only happen if the listener enjoys the music he is listening to. If the listener dislikes the music or finds it boring, it will have a negative effect instead of a positive one.

Now lets look at what most of us do when it comes to listening to music. We usually just listen to a pre-prepared playlist and allow a program like winamp to randomly select what we are going to listen to first. This is where the problem lies. What if you like the first song but are bored of the second? What if the third was a motivating song and the fourth was a slow song? What do you think the result will be??

What you'll have is an emotional mess!! The first song will lift your mood a little, the second will make you a little bored, the third will motivate you and then the fourth will put you down. In the end you'll end up feeling worse than before.

I strongly recommend dividing your playlist into different small lists. For example, a list for relaxation, a list for motivation and so on. Another very important thing is to get rid of all of the old music that you are bored of. After all, it doesn't take more than listening to the first five seconds of any of these songs to make your mood swing.

In my book How to get over anyone in few days i pointed out how the music you listen to can delay your recovery from breakups by months and months!! people who listen to romantic songs after breakups recover 10 times slower than those who don't, so beware of your playlist if you want to recover faster.

Beware of the Anchors

Have you ever listened to a piece of music, then suddenly remembered a past situation? This happens because your mind has previously associated both events with each other, so when one of them occurred you just recalled the second. This is what’s called an anchor.

Watch out for any musical parts that are anchored to your bad memories, because when your random music player chooses this musical part you are likely to feel down or at least get a little irritated.

Beware of the Wording

Some songs contain negative words and phrases that are much more destructive than negative self-talk. Some songs also contain messages that can program your mind, creating new beliefs, by consistently repeating a negative message over and over. A poplar example would be any love song that contains a phrase like “I cant live without you”. The more you will listen to this song, the more you will be programming your mind with such a belief and the more you are likely to end up feeling desperate when you break up with someone.

E.Q.

Definition of emotional intelligence

Controlling and managing emotions

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, acknowledge, manage and handle your emotions in such a way that promotes personal growth. Think of someone who projects his anger on his small child just because he had a fight with his manager or think of a driver who shouts at other drivers in the street just because the hot weather was irritating for him, both are examples of people who aren’t emotionally intelligent.

Emotionally intelligent people know the real reasons for their emotions and thus they don’t confuse them with other factors nor do they get their past involved in the decisions they take. If your best friend betrayed you in the past and then you developed a fear of trusting anybody then you are not applying emotional intelligence in your life.

Emotional intelligence is a way of identifying and managing your emotions in such a way that promotes a happier and a healthier life.

Failing to recognize your emotions

Lots of people feel bad without knowing why and the majority of them blame incorrect reasons for the bad feelings they are having.

Why do you think some people become bad tempered when they are stressed? Those people have weak stress management abilities yet they always think that other people are are the ones to be balmed instead of acknowledging their own weaknesses. If those people were to understand that they have became bad tempered because of their lack of stress management abilities then they would have taken the first step towards becoming emotionally intelligent.

Some people think that they are bored because the place they live in is boring but the truth is that they are bored because something inside them needs a fix and not the place they live in.

some people spend years suffering from a breakup thinking that they loved that person while the truth is that they only needed him to compensate for one of their personal weakness. In my book How to get over anyone in few days I described how can some people keep suffering from a breakup for a long time even if the reason for suffering was something else other than loving the person.

Some people feel depressed thinking that their life style promotes depression while the truth is that there is a deeply buried issue in their minds that they are afraid to bring to the surface.(see when he deceives you)

There are lots and lots of examples of people who failed to recognize the real reasons for their unwanted emotions and the result in all cases is the same, becoming unhappy and dissatisfied.

how to become emotionally intelligent

The steps for becoming emotionally intelligent are clear and well known but applying them requires lots of hard work in addition to a solid discipline. The first thing you should do in order to become emotionally intelligent is to learn how to identify the real reasons for your emotions instead of blaming other innocent factors for them. After recognizing your emotions its then the time to handle them in an intelligent way, knowing that you are angry because you had a fight with your manager should help you prevent yourself from shouting at your small child and should help you to think of a way to express your anger peacefully without harming innocent people.

In summary, if you understood your emotions then learned how to channel them in a way that doesn’t cause harm to you or to the people around you, then you will become an emotionally intelligent person.

My Life

why is this happening to me?

I know how it feels when you find everything around you collapsing. Your friends, your loved ones, your money, your self confidence and even your dreams. If someone told you that personal development can prevent you from facing life shocks and downturns then he is lying to you. In this life we are living, we all have to go through up times and down times, we all have to pass through difficult times and good times.

While no one can control the future or the unexpected life events still we can all control our response to these undesired events. After all its our response to such events that differentiates between someone who is feeling good and someone who is feeling bad and not the amount of problems they are facing.

What to do when you can't take it anymore?

The first thing you must do is recall your life purpose or even find one if you don't have. After all we do all have life purposes but some of us may have not discovered it yet. Try to recall the reasons you are living for and the goals you are after, recalling those reasons will help you tolerate the bad situation you are in because you will start to perceive the suffering as a price for your bigger goals and life purpose.

Patience

Patience is not doing nothing but its the act of not allowing your emotions to intensify until things start to improve. During the time you are being patient you should be doing your best to fix what you can fix of your problems, don't sleep or do nothing then say that you are patient.

Our emotions intensify as result of not controlling it the moment we started feeling bad. If you managed not to let your emotions intensify in the first few moments you faced a problem then you will have more control on them and your problems wont make you feel that bad.

Time is running

Time is running whether we liked this fact or not or whether we were feeling good as it passes or not. If time is going to pass anyways then why let it pass while feeling down or broken? if we are going to live anyways then let us live a better life by refusing to give in to bad moods and unwanted emotions.

While in the middle of the dark it becomes very hard to see hope but it may be somewhere near us. Grab a candle and search for hope here or there by being a positive thinker, by knowing that most of your bad emotions are due to fear of the future and not because of current events and by asking God for help.

I am sure you have faced hundreds of problems before that seemed to have no solution yet something unexpected happened and the problem was solved. Positive thinking is not being unrealistic but its rather looking for the realistic opportunities that can help you deal with your problem rather than letting fears and unrealistic emotions cloud your vision.

If you can't take it anymore, then light a candle, and look for hope because it might be so near.

Psychology of falling in love

How to Make Someone Fall in Love with You

Myths about Making Someone Love You

Do you think that love is just an uncontrollable random process?

Do you think that if the person you loved didn’t love you back then nothing can be done about it?

Do you think that you can't make someone fall in love with you?

The Truth about Making Someone Fall in Love with You

I hate websites that keep repeating the same logical and intuitive tricks that everyone already knows about. In 2knowmyself I use psychology as the core of my writings but I present the complex principles in a simple form so that you don’t find any trouble understanding them. This articles exploits the operation of the human brain, it will teach you how to use psychology to make someone fall in love with you.

Most of us believe that love is completely random and can never be controlled or manipulated. However, the shocking truth is that love and hatred are fully controlled by the mind. If you can come to understand the logic behind that mind’s operation then you will have a good chance of making someone fall in love with you.

Love is just like any other psychological emotion you experience. Just as there are ways for dealing with and controlling stress, learning about the psychology of falling in love can be used to your advantage to make someone fall in love with you. This won't work one hundred percent of the time, but it will at least double or even triple your chances of making someone fall in love with you.

The following are methods and ways that can help you in making someone fall in love with you. Note that most of them are based on the psychology of falling in love and if you don’t know what that is, you'd better take a quick look first.

• I have what you need : when people search for a partner, they unconsciously try to find someone who is similar to what they like about themselves and at the same time different from what they hate about themselves. For example, someone who feels inferior but is also intelligent will seek an intelligent but confident partner. If this resembles the person you are targeting, playing the role of an incredibly confident person can be very effective, simply because you will be sending a message to his/her subconscious mind saying “I have what you need”. On the other hand try to do your best to show that you have some common interests (don't lie, just search for what’s common between you).
• Meeting Criteria: Inside the mind of every one of us is a quick list of basic criteria that must be met before we even consider loving a person. Although meeting these criteria does not necessarily mean that we will love the person, not meeting any of them makes it certain that we will never love him. Examples of these criteria can be: "He must be a non smoker", "He must be religious" …etc. You should try to know the background of the person you like and attempt to meet his basic criteria, else you will be rejected before you even begin.
• Does Trying Harder Work? : Does repeatedly trying to approach a person work, or does chasing him or asking him out several times work?
  Doing these things will most likely work if your partner is externally dependent. External dependency is being dependant on something or someone to make you feel good or to escape your bad mood. When someone becomes externally dependant, it's likely he'll jump at the first chance of getting into a relationship. If the person you are targeting is externally dependant then your chances of making him fall in love you becomes higher. That’s why caring for someone when he's down gives you a great chance of being loved by him because at these times people become more externally dependant
• Program his Subconscious Mind: The subconscious mind can be made to accept something by continious repetition. This doesn't mean that you should call your partner every five minutes, as that would be chasing his/her conscious mind. Chasing the subconscious mind requires no more than staying in sight, and letting him/her see you a lot. Even if you hardly talk, just staying in his/her sight is enough to enforce your position.
• More Subconscious Mind Programming : If you have mutual friends then you are even more lucky, since the subconscious mind is programmed much easier by trusted sources. The more your friends talk to him/her about how great you are (something you'll probably have to arrange) the better your chances of having a place in his/her subconscious mind. Just as subconscious mind programming can be a tool that helps you in making someone fall in love with you, it may be used against you without your notice and the result is finding yourself attached to someone whom you cant get over. In my book How to get over anyone in few days i pointed out how can you reverse the effect of the programming you got from others so that you can easily forget about any person
• position yourself well: what is the first word that comes to people's minds when they your name in mentioned? do they think of the word "strong","confident" or "loser"? positioning is simply associating yourself with a certian image that is printed in people's minds, read this guide to know how can you position yourself

How do you tell a girl you love her?

Saying You Love Her

Here is advice :

• Straightforward is the best approach. And don't forget that actions really do speak louder than words. So many people carelessly toss those three words around. Tell her, but then back up those words by showing her. Nothing major or elaborate is necessary. Little things can be so much more meaningful than overblown displays. For example, I'll always prefer receiving a daisy picked in the park on a whim over a dozen long stemmed roses bought because he thinks it's supposed to be romantic.

• You just tell her. She may not say it back, but she will feel flattered that you love her.

• You don't need to tell her at first. Just show her that you love her by helping her do whatever she is doing, take her to romantic places, buy her nice things, the most important things is to make her feel good around you, show her that you care about her (remember that action speaks louder than words), take things slowly, then step by step things will happen naturally. the key point is not to tell her your feelings, but make her feel you emotions and she will express her love to you. Trust me, that is how I won my girl, I never told her anything, I made her feel it, and that is just the sweetest thing.

• You just tell her how you feel. If it truly love that your feeling than tell her. If your scared or nervous than you better rethink your feelings somemore, because when you tell a woman that you love them, your actually saying that you are laying everything out in the open for that person.

• If you think that she will be okay after you tell her and it won't scare her out of a friendship, then I suggest you pick an appropriate moment. I would tell her when the two of you are uninterrupted and alone, and pose it in a way that you can make her feel comfortable. Make sure you dont leave it too long else she may not realise and you could lose out to someone else.

• First start by letting her know you are interested. Then as you get to know her better then you can pick a romantic spot and come right out and say it.

• Tell her about your feelings and let her know you are in love with her. If she can't handle it and runs away the relationship wasn't real. As they say, "keep it real."

• Be honest and straightforward. That's always the best thing in relationships.

• You don't. Let her tell you that. Give her the mixed signals that you like her but practice the rule of three 'C's. Control (for Self-Control), Confident and Challenge. Practice 'Self-Control' and 'Confident' whenever you are with her or on dates. And of utmost important be a 'Challenge' to her. Don't be Mr. Predictable as most guys are as if they haven't seen a beautiful girl in ages. Let her think of you when you are not around. And you sure would get what you want.

• As a girl, I can honestly say that having a guy tell you "I love you" can be very intimidating, depending on the situation. By your actions, let her know you love her. Do things that she likes to do, hug her when you see her, hold her hand. Girls pick up on that, trust me. I'm not saying that you shouldn't tell her how you feel, because that definately needs to happen. Just remember that words without action don't mean a thing.

• You must be really sure of your feelings before you tell her anything. Take her to a lonely place of you choice, any place where the only thing you can hear is yourslef talking to her; grab her hands look at her straight in her eyes tell her how she makes you feel, take it easy step by step don't rush to the "I love you" phrase, tell her what she means to you, don't say you love her, she may freak out just because of the simple fact that some girls are just not ready for those words so you'll be better off telling her how she makes you feel and what you mean to her. After that you may ask her what she thinks of what she just heard from you be a listiner don't speak if she looks at you with a smile and then kisses you and hugs you, don't worry you are going the right way just remember don't rush to the "I love you" part.

• Personally, I think it pays to be honest, and if worst case, you find out she doesn't feel the same, then at least you will know. Most likely though, she does especiallly if you are already involved in some way. As long as it comes from the heart it will be recieved in a good way and she will respect your truthfulness.

• You just go right up and tell her. It's better when you two are alone of course. Remember if you don't try, you never know.

• I like the buddy thing myself, you should really show her that you will be there for her whenever she needs you, love is something that is felt, and if your friends with her long enough, she will feel that you love her, and actions always speak louder than words. whenever you are around her look in her eyes, you will be able to tell if she wants you to tell her u love her ;)

• If you love a girl I think you should show her first and then tell her. And don't be an ass and tell lots of girls you love them. Give the words some meaning. A lot of soul searching has to be done before you tell anyone you love them. The easiest way to find out if you love someone is to put yourself in a hypothetical. If you were in the worst place in the world but she would be right there beside you could you still be happy?

• My ex called me and told me he needed to tell me something, but he couldn't tell me over the phone. He said he was going to come over, and arrived at about midnight. We stood in my porch, he kissed me, put his arms around me, then looked me in the eyes and just said he loved me. Was so romantic and so genuine. It was before I felt the same way, but it was such a strong emotion, and I could tell he meant it -- I felt so overwhelmed I nearly cried.

• Always remember this thing in life: "Those who are over conscious never gain." So if you really love a girl just go and tell her so. Don't think too much.

• Just tell her 'I love you' or something very direct like that. If it the first time you are going to tell her that then try to make a nice romantic setting. Doesn't need to be fancy...maybe turn down the lights and light a few candles...put on some nice music. That will help set the mood, but really all you need to do is be upfront and tell her. Many times people stress out over telling their partner they love them. But think about it...this is the person you love. You shouldn't feel ashamed or embarassed or anything like that. Just tell her plain and clear.

• Plain and simple: be honest and straightforward. Tell her everything you feel. That's the best course of action.

"Getting Over Someone"

How do you get completely over someone you love when they do not feel the same way?

Here is advice:

• 

  Ask yourself what might be in his head or his heart; it takes two people to be in a relationship and even though you feel the way that you do, maybe it was meant to be this way. Save your love for someone who feels the same way about you!

• In my case, I know I deserve better. I tell myself "He isn't worth my love, he's too young to realize what he's doing to me so I guess that's that."

• It's not about getting over a person, it's about feeling good about yourself. It's about knowing that you are the most important and you need to be happy. If this other person doesn't feel the same way, it doesn't really matter.

• This situation is always an unfortunate one. It is ideal for 2 people to love each other the same, and at the same pace, but life is never ideal. To get this kind of relationship to work, you need patience! you have to weigh either waiting for her or moving on as options. If your feelings are real, and you choose to hang in there, you must not scare her away with your feelings! If things are meant to work out, you should be great friends before lovers anyway. While you let both your feelings reach equilibrium, you'll find it becomes easier sometimes just to ignore your strong feelings for her and just kick-back and chill with her. It's not always important to impress her, or do nice things for her in a loving way. It may give you hope to know that she can see you in the same light, just not so quickly.

• Tough circumstance - being in love with someone who does not feel the same way as you do. It's not a problem - you can fix those, this is almost like "it's raining outside" - just have to deal. Objective advice: If someone doesn't feel the same way as you do - walk off. Don't even give them the privilegde of friendship because you'll suck yourself back into the delusion. Do things for yourself, keep busy, bury yourself in work and keep searching for what you really want and need. Don't do what I have done.

• Firstly, love is a peculiar thing. There is an almost ludicrous asymmetry between two people. The person at the top of your best friend list may rank you only at the middle of his or her list. However, if you truly, truly loved someone, then you'd be able to realize that it's OK if they don't love you back. True love gives and expects nothing in return; a true unrequited love. So, I've moved on from my perfect potential companion. He gave me the strength to realize that I can move on. He gave me the courage to try something different. He gave me the wisdom and sense for me to also respect myself. So, if you truly loved them, it doesn't matter if they feel the same way, your love conquers all.

• It is strange when you are hurting from rejection, to hear someone say move on things will be fine. No matter how much u love him, He never loves u back. For all those wondering what went wrong Just stop wondering say it really aloud "HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU". Only when one stops chasing and pursing someone who doesn't love you, will you open the door to that perfect person who will love you back with the same intensity that you will love him.

• If you believe in destiny then you have know that things happen when they are meant to be. People part for reasons beyond human comprehension but the reality remains if you are meant to love each other and be with each other, it will happen. That's the power of destiny. Love always wins. Love is important and only it counts.

• The older I get, the more I believe that some people are full of the capacity to love - like me - and others are incapable of it in the romantic sense, for whatever reason. Fear of committment. A distorted view of freedom. The desire to stay young forever? A deep unwillingness to give themselves over to another (aka, selfish)? It is an absolute rock and a hard place. Loving someone who doesn't love you back is the most impossible situation imaginable, especially when the love is so strong you are a slave to it.

• I am going through this right now. For those of you whose situation is similar, this is what I suggest: Deal with reality. Stop hoping, dreaming, etc. Pray and tell God that you forgive them for not being able to love you. Ask God to take this from you - and He will. Then continue to deal with reality. Don't tell yourself, maybe someday... they'll change... True love accepts the person for who they are, even when they are evil and they don't love you. It means accepting reality. When you love and accept reality at the same time, you are forced to move on. When you deal with reality and move on without love, you take bitterness with you. When you love without dealing with reality, you hurt yourself. Love the other person, Accept the reality and pray to God for the wisdom and strength you'll need to do that continuously until it ceases to become a problem.

• Try not to be in contact cos its almost like an addiction. You think that one little text will do no harm but the pain when he doesn't reply will just make things worse. That would be my advice.

• There is one more thing I can recommend. There are times when you feel very weak and feel you need to talk to that other person even though they may have just hurt you again, you don't know why you w ant to talk to them, you just do. I've been able to get by these weak moments by writing down exactly what I'm feeling at the time, it comes out in a jumble of feelings and thoughts, some not so pleasant, but in the end it actually helps and I don't feel to call the person anymore. For everyone out there, keep strong and keep your head up, there are better days ahead.

• Tough one. If we know for a fact there is no hope for a mutual love, then why torture yourself. Move on. Treat it like a divorce. FORCE yourself to live and keep meeting people. You owe it to yourself to be avaiable for when the right person does come along. Love is like a bus stop, there's always going to be another opportunity for the bus to stop again -- if we are ready for it at the bus stop. Sometimes we don't ever think we could possibly find someone better than that one we are in love with that doesn't return the love back, but that's not true. We just won't be ready to find it if we are pining for a love that is not healthy or returned. We owe it to ourselves to always know we deserve what's best and healthy. Stop being around that person if at all possible. If you can't, then think in your mind about how wonderful it would be to actually find someone special that returns your love. Tell yourself that you deserve it. We can't control love no matter how hard we try. It's just one of those things, but we can choose to love again. Work out, write your thoughts on paper and then shred it but sometimes it helps to get your thoughts out of you, in writing. It's like a release or venting. Then rip it into shreds and flush it or shred it so it can't be found to possibly humiliate you later.

• Staying busy can help a lot, but late at night, driving down the road, or at times when w e can think are hard so blast some music, turn the tv up, read a book, watch a movie, take a night class, spend more time with friends, join an email group with those who share an interest. .. whatever, do things to force your mind not to be hurting for that other person. Don't ask yourself why you were not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, sexy enough, etc. Don't beat yourself up over something that didn't work out. If you made mistakes and were responsible for killing it. Painful as it is, learn from those mistakes. Don't make them again. We all have had heartaches that hurt bad and SUCK! A broken heart is never fun. Life goes on. We have to as well. We owe it to ourselves to know we simply go on. We will meet another person but we shouldn't while we are hurting. We'll often end up not being as clear headed. We want someone to love us and to feel wanted, but that's a potential for another mess. Or, you could end up hurting someone they way you were hurt. When your heart is mended, you'll know. Every single day we get just a tiny bit better. Ok, maybe not every day, but if we can just make it from one day to the next and keep doing it, pretty soon we will feel better, if only a little, but that's a start to total healing.

• Time. Letting yourself grieve and actually being ok with that. Not forcing yourself to get over someone. Allow yourself to feel the hurt, cry, write about it, listen to sad songs. Soon you will feel so tired from hurting all of the time. You will be ready to move forward. Doing this without contact of the person you love is best. Anyone that will still see you, sleep with you, and spend time with you, knowing they don't love you, and knowing how you feel, is selfish. Everyone deserves more than that. You can't force love out of your heart so don't try, that just hurts worse and you end up lying to yourself. You are human for loving, but you have to love yourself more. I do agree with comments on staying busy, friends and family also help. Casual dating can backfire however, because if the dates don't go well, it will just make you miss the person you love even more. Pray, and remember the good times but learn from the bad. Don't you want, one day, to be truly happy? Life is to short to give up the chance of true love for yourself. Go out into the world and continue to be the wonderful person that you are. Someone will see this, and love you just as much as you are capable of loving.

• You accept yourself as you are, love yourself for who you are, forgive yourself for decisions and actions that have brought you pain, never settle for anything less then what you desire and deserve. Love is all about timing, make yourself the best person you can be both mentally and physically and do it for yourself no man. Once you do that, you will no longer waste your time on men who do not see you for who you are. You will see yourself as a beautiful women that has so much to offer the right man. But to be able to get over lost love you have to be able to forgive yourself, whether it was your fault or not for the break up. You also must make a concious effort to get him out of your life. Keeping him as a friend will bring only more pain, this is from experience. Let him go, delete his name off your cell phone off your email, put the pictures away. It is your choice to be miserable about the situation, which for the first few months everyone choses to be sad. I chose to be sad for 5 months when the man I loved dumped me. But you can also make the choice to be happy, but only you can do that. You have one life why sit there and waste it on a man who can't see all facets of your beauty. You have one life to be happy, love yourself, forgive yourself and you will see that that love will radiate and men will be attracted to that. Good men will be attracted to your postive self worth. And that positive self worth gets rid of all the bagage from past relationships that ruin current ones. But this is a choice, a concious choice to leave the past and be happy and only you can make it. Know it wont be easy, but in the end you will have the love you have always desired.

• All you can do is take it a day at a time and pray for strength.

• You have to decide that there is now another step to climb in your life. There will always be happiness around the corner, everyone finds it. Happiness WILL come and find you. I wish you all the best for the future, keep smiling.

• Time is the key. When you love someone you must know when it is time to let go. As hard as this may sound, strength, courage and knowledge is gathered from a broken heart. No one promised that love would last forever, nor that it wouldn't, it's just a chance. Life is a chance. Love yourself, pray, not only for you, but for that person as well. Never let bad feelings or experience change the person you are. No one wants a wounded bird, so understand that you need time to heal internally. There is no set time on when this will happen, but just let it take it's course. When the time is right, and you feel like you are ready to love again, don't look for it, let it find you. Keep God first, and never question his work. We will never know what the man has in store, and who is to say that you two won't love again, when the time is right, or maybe you both have matured. Life is short, so enjoy and savor your breath. Your battle is not lost, you are just beginning to live. God bless you and keep you strong.

• This is not an easy question, and the answer is complex. I have several substrate beliefs that will take me where I am going to go. First, how you feel or don't feel about another says much about you. How they respond, says something about them. Think about that deeply. You may or may not know all of your reasons for feeling the way you do about that person. I suspect you may not have the whole story about them. Consider yourself for a moment. Is the first person of this personality type you have loved or is this a pattern? If it is a pattern, are you getting yourself involved with unavailable individuals? If so, you may need to look deeply at your motivation in choosing that type of person and why you are attracted to them. Now, lets look a them. Now, if you clearly did some misdead which caused the breakup, you may have to live with it. That person may not trust you again. If you have not done anything of that sort, and you are blaming your self for something minor like "saying was instead of were." Then, you need to access if that person has some deeper issue that may not have anything to do with you directly. If they have issues, it is best to let them have the space to address them. It may take years. There is a song which has the lyric, "I can't make you love me, if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it won't." You can give of yourself and offer your love and support. If that person does not, can not, or will not love you back, then there is nothing you can do about it. That is their choice. And you really do not want them unless they truly loved you in return, right? Now, do not think ill of that person. The care that person has for you may be all they have to give and they are just being honest. Now back to you. I am of the belief that "Love Never Fails." I believe that once you love someone it does not die. But I believe that love is about giving and not getting. You must give them their request. That is in many ways a great gift of love, a gift of respect. You will have to go on. Time will heal you wounds. Allow yourself to sorrow and feel the pain now for the time of grief will pass. You will learn to live with the loss. You will always love that person, but that does not mean you will not love again!

• 

  You have no choice but to get over this person. You must let them go and you have to move on. What you need to realize is that you can and will love some one again and they will love you in return. Life is a risk and it has to be that way otherwise there would be no adventure to it. Also to know love, you also need to know pain. The passage of time will help to heal your wounds, but it won�t completely erase them. Your life is a journey that will be difficult at times, but stay on the path because you never know what is just around the corner. Remember that you control your own mind and it's your own choice if you want to keep thinking about the past or look to the future. Don�t worry about making mistakes; it�s the only way you can learn. Also true love involves a lot of hard work, nobody is perfect. I wish you good luck and lots of love, peace and happiness.

• The answer is that there is no remedy or procedure to get over someone completley. It is not as simple as performing a few tasks or reading a certain book. From my experience only time will assist you in getting over a love in your life. Now the trick is this person must me completely out of your life to completely get over him or her. If this person remains in your life then time will never start the healing process. It took me exactly one year to get over someone I loved very much. It can be done, and in life this process can happen more than once, so learn from the mistakes you make in one relationship and apply them to the next.

• Surround yourself in mates, journals journals journals, I play guitar which helps, and something really important; at least for a while, ALLOW yourself to be depressed, its inevitable your going to be! so fighting it just gets you mad and frustrated. Music helps A LOT.

• The main advice I can give, which isn't much at this stage, is FOCUS. Thats what you need. For days I was sitting around at home crying and getting stressed, I became depressed, couldn't eat and my dreams were haunted by my ex. But I got a job, decided to start work out and begun to get focused on life.

• "You never stop loving someone, you just learn to live without them."

• Free your mind from worries. Live simple. Give more. Expect less.

"Mi Vida"

MI VIDA COMO UNA MUJER

I want to be a woman, conscious of the privilege and miracle of life ... to feel that I have every right to live and enjoy what life has to offers me ...


I want to be someone, to thank and reward all the blessings that God has given me ...


I would be happy to be myself, without masks, without feelings of guilt, according to my vocation, my mission and my dreams ...


I want to have the courage to stand for what i believe and feel free to choose my ways, to overcome my fears and apprehensions, and bear the consequences of my actions ...


I want to have joy to laugh, and to go my way to happiness, to feel the energy of live fully and intensely ...


I want to feel, being a woman FULL, love, recognizing that I'm single, unique , worth it, and irreplaceable , because i believe that i have the divine gift within me ..a light that had been guiding me to make it through even the most darkest days of my life. I believe that there is so much more to unfold discover,the mysteries of life...so still i will to go to the places that no one had dare to go.....


I want to that my conscience guide me in everything i do, that no one can get hurt, unless I allow to, that nobody can attack you if you don't deserve it ...


I want to be a light for my SOL, my family and my children, help them to grow up without fear and with responsibility.


I want to stop being a victim and feel, to reproduce for the first time in my life, the ability to govern themselves, to be the protagonist of my story ...


I would LOVE this,to choose the future and strive to do whatever my heart desires without resigning, nor even sweat ...


I want to remember the past, but not dwell in it...past is past & there is nothing you can do about it but to learn not to commit the same mistakes.


I would dream of a bright future, full of stars, without ceasing to live and enjoy my present, in full awareness that the only thing that i can be sure of is today, here and now ... I want to forgive my mistakes, my guilt, my faults and release the burden within me, to make lighter walk toward a new life ...


I want everyday of my life, in this dimension, to thank every breath, every smile, every tear, every friend who gave me his hand on my pilgrimage, each experience, that have made me who I am today, with my flaws and virtues.