"True Meaning Of Friendship"

Friends in need, real friends and fair weathered friends

A friend in need, is a friend indeed' is a popular saying, implying that people become friends when they need something from you. Whilst this can indeed be true, the reverse is also significant. When you are in need, then you find out who are your real friends.

An acquaintance found out recently that she has a chronic medical condition. Nothing visible and nothing to stop her living a normal life, but something that will occasionally flare up and cause discomfort. She also found out something of the difference between real and fairweather friends.

She informed them simply because she is an open and honest person. There was no seeking of particular help. Perhaps a little sympathy, but no special treatment or additional attention.

When she told some friends, they responded with concern. They listened without asking anything in return. They asked how they could help. These were real friends.

Others, who she also believed to be friends of the same sort, responded first with selfish concerns. They asked if it was infectious in any way or that might somehow catch it. Then they melted away, despite reassurance of their safety.

Fairweather friends are those who are most likely to appear when they are in need or, at best, when you are not in need. Real friends don't care about your need. They will help where they can and know that it's ok if they can only offer a little sympathy.

This must be something like what it is to have cancer, HIV or AIDS. Those who were friends when all was well suddenly show their true colors, whilst some from the core and some from the periphery fly the true flag of friendship, offering and giving what help they can.

Priceless Gifts‏

Eight Gifts That Don't Cost a Cent
In the economy of the heart, these presents are priceless.

"Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons."

This simple checklist can help measure how you are nurturing your relationships.
The Gift of Listening
But you must really listen. Don't interrupt, don't daydream, don't plan your response. Just listen.
The Gift of Affection
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends. The Gift of LaughterClip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

The Gift of Solitude
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

The Gift of a Favor
Everyday, go out of your way to do something kind.The Gift of a Written Note It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime.

The Gift of a Compliment
A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super job," or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.The Gift of a Cheerful Disposition The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone.

Ingredients of happy relationships

I have been discussing the importance of thinking through a couple of issues. First and foremost is asking a set of key parameters that determine the value of a relationship to you, and secondly, asking the right questions to assess your relationship. In this article, I am going to discuss the little things that you ignore and think are not important that will make your relationships work.
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Communication: Communication is key. Learn to talk about everything under the sun and never assume you know. You could be wrong. Many people have failed in this area and ended up depressed, lost, and lonely. Believe me; it always helps to talk about something than bottling it up inside of you. Lack of communication will cause you to make wrong conclusions about people and you will never even get a chance to know who you are. When you hear a rumor, don’t act on it immediately. Find the facts first, before you take any action. Explaining your thoughts, motives, and plans is very vital. Don’t use guesswork; it’s unwise. We have ears to hear, eyes too see, hands to make signs, books to read, etc., to be able to get a message across. (Related article: Communication for couples)

Sacrifice: Sacrifice in a relationship is the key to reaping good results eventually. It works in everything else in life and it will work in a relationship too. You have to learn to sacrifice certain things in your life for the sake of your partner and for the sake of the relationship to work. If you don’t learn to sacrifice, you will think there is nothing wrong with you, but only with the other person. You cannot spend your life changing partners or looking for the perfect one. None of us is perfect but we can work at becoming better people as we appreciate one another. (Related article: How to rebuild trust in a relationship?)

Give: Life if about giving and not taking! Learn to start giving and you will soon see the results. Don’t wait until it’s Christmas or until you get that job and earn a lot of bucks. Out of the little that you have, give. When you fail to give now when you have little, it will not be possible to give when you have plenty. It’s the thought and the value of that gift that counts. Believe me; if it’s from you heart it will be of value to the other person and they will cherish it. The question is,
when your partner is speaking. Watch their expressions and learn to know their gestures too so that you are able to read their actions easily. Know what angers them or makes them smile or laugh. Get involved in the little details of their lives too. Yes, even knowing the type of lipstick she uses and the aftershave that he likes. Know the birth dates and anniversaries too. Knowing the little
“Would you like to die all by yourself without a loved one to hold your hand? How would you feel when you get sick and there is nobody to come visit you in the hospital? If you invest in good, you will receive good back. (Related article: Tips for insecure men)Time: Time is a very valuable asset. Time lost is never gained. If you will spend time wisely, you will never regret it.

We are not in this world forever. So if you can do good today, do it. The person may never be there tomorrow, even if you cried your eyes out at their grave; it won’t bring them back. So use every opportunity you get, so that you will have memories stored up in you. Give time to get to know your partner, be there for them when they need you and they will be there for you too. Never get too busy for the little things in life otherwise you will find them gone. Never take life for granted and learn to strike a balance. I have met men who in their quest for money and power have neglected their spouses and eventually lost them to other men. They become bitter and blame the woman. If you neglect your partner, they may become vulnerable to any man who would come along and give them the time that you don’t. (Related article: Tips to fix a broken relationship)

Attention: Be attentive intimate details makes the relationship exciting and it gives both of you enormous joy in knowing about each other. So you are both kept busy and there is no loophole for an enemy to destroy your bond. (Related article: Bedroom tips for couples)

Trust: For a solid foundation, trust must be established. Once trust is established you will begin to open up to each other. Once this is in place you will be able to love without fear. It takes a while to build trust but it only takes a second to destroy it.

Honesty and Sincerity: Be sincere to your partner and tell the truth. If you have kids, tell it; been married before, say it; you have a health problem, mention it. Avoid hiding things that may or will eventually come out and cause an explosion and destroy the relationship for good. When you partner trusts you with a secret that they have never told anyone else, then do not ever use it to manipulate them or use it as a weapon to inflict pain on them the day you have a fight. Being trusted is a privilege, not a right. Remember that happiness for both of you is of prime importance. Be careful what you say especially the promises that you make. We are tried and judged by our words

Build: For a relationship to grow it needs to be nurtured. You have to build each other up and learn from one another. Understand the strengths and weakness and build on them. Accept their shortcomings and help them see their potential in life. If your personalities don’t match and you are not satisfied, please walk out ASAP before any serious involvement happens. We all learn from one another. We are here today and able to communicate because somebody took time to help build us.

Breaking up: When the relationship is not worth pursuing, it is always wise to end it in a polite way. Learn to talk about it and come to a conclusion. Give it a thought before you do, just in case there is still hope to save it. The important thing is not to make enemies but to walk away feeling free and having a clear conscience knowing that you made the right decision.

No man is an island! Two is better than one. When two brains come together to make a decision the results are remarkable. Moreover when you are down, your partner will lift you up and give you the strength to go on. When you win in your relationship you will succeed even in bringing up good, responsible children who will make healthy relationships and contribute to the world at large.

Adults face challenges while cowards use excuses to deal with challenges. Don’t use the telephone or SMS text or email to break up unless you are a coward and uncertain of what you are doing. Face to face is always better. After all, you spent all those intimate moments looking into each other’s eyes; it is best to show the same courtesy when ending the relationship. Tell them why you can’t go on. Be able to live with that decision and ensure it’s the right one. If not, you may realize too late that you made a big mistake. In other cases it’s a simple and straightforward thing to do like when you find your partner in bed with another person or when you have an abusive relationship.

I believe it’s always good to be able to meet your ex later on in life and be able to say with a smile, “Hello, how are things going for you?” If you ever have to go through a heart break, remember you will always heal, no matter how deep the pain or wound you will heal. There is someone out there for you and it’s not the end of the world!

Sincerity is all what it takes to gain the Trust of others

"True Sincerity is proving yourself that you are worth without asking & expecting anything in return"

Sincerity is generally understood to be truth in word and act. One who means what he says is a sincere person. One who does not mean what he says is not a sincere man, and is perhaps even a hypocrite. Because of its purity the term ‘sincerity’ has endeared itself to us. We love sincere people. We also love to be known as sincere people.

As man is constituted, each part of his being – mind, emotions, etc. – is independent and is not necessarily influenced by the growth of any other part. If we could integrate the different parts of our personality, every part would then be raised to the level of the central growth. A person is integrated if his emotions are rational, social and gentlemanly to the same extent as his mind. His sincerity is partial if it is limited to the mind and external manners.
By ‘sincere’ we understand that the man acts according to his conscience. If he acts according to the dictates of his conscience, we accept his sincerity. In that case, he is sincere to himself. In society this is acceptable as sincerity, but this may be wrong. Suppose an administrator feels that according to his sincere conscience the clerk has to be treated as a second-class citizen, he may be sincere but the world outside may not accept it. He may be sincere but his own conscience may be undeveloped. It is not enough to act according to the conscience; the conscience must also be cultured and noble. Being cultured is a social concept. Being noble is a moral concept. Both are good in themselves, as sufficient guides to men in society. But there is a deeper reference, and that is the inner being, the soul. Sincerity means to act according to the dictates of the inner divine, to obey the Divine Will. Any other reference like morality, society, conscience etc. is not sufficiently high.

There are also different levels of sincerity according to the different parts of the being. There is mental sincerity, vital sincerity and the sincerity of the body. Mental sincerity means to understand and accept in the mind the highest ideals of the inner Divine. The mind has a personality of its own, its own beliefs, preferences, traditions, habits, etc. A person may want to dedicate himself to a very high ideal but the mind may not be able to accept. The nerves, otherwise known as ‘vital’, also have their own personality. The body has an equally powerful one, perhaps more powerful. Each of them have developed on their own and retain their individuality.

Of all the levels of sincerity, mental sincerity is the easiest. Let us examine it here. If we leave aside blatantly insincere people such as liars, clever crooks, etc. and consider only those who consider themselves to be sincere, and really examine their beliefs, several facets of sincerity will emerge. One can sincerely believe in a false idea. Many sincere people have a strong belief even though the belief is not true. This belief stands in the way of their progress. Some of these may be:

1) my country’s culture is the best in the world;
2) because a person is my friend, he must be trusted by everyone, etc. Sincerity should also be rational and intelligent and not foolish. It is not enough to be sincere, you must also be right.

A certain wrong belief about ourselves can have tragic consequences for our growth. An insincere employee is perhaps able, by his cleverness, to convince his boss that he is easily the best in the world and indispensable to the institution. Sometimes he comes to believe himself in his ‘ability’. If he is a sensitive man, capable of further progress in life, this belief acts like a black cover over his soul and prevents him from any progress.

Sometimes people wrongly believe, in all sincerity, that their spouse is the cause of all their problems. But the problems they encounter in life, the blocks to their success, are really centered in themselves.

These people lose a golden opportunity for progress. Their false view of themselves allows them to even commit outrages on the society. It does not matter they fool others, but it is a pity they fool themselves.

We can call them sincerely insincere people. Most of us have such a streak in one thing or another. Unless and until we come forward to shed this aspect of sincere insincerity, the inner light will not shine forth.

It is open to everyone to make his sincerity greater and greater everyday. One can start by being guided by his conscience and becoming conscientious. One bases his sincerity of right information and socially acceptable intelligence, not sincere foolishness. Horizontally one can extend the domain of his sincerity to other similar areas of life and existence. Vertically he can raise the quality of sincerity by extending it to events of greater significance. Sincerity made perfect at the level of conscience, extended horizontally to cover all our life activities and vertically to act in important events of our life will be a sincerity of power and value.

If what is of value to you inwardly is also recognised by the society as valuable in their eyes, your sincerity reaches a second peak in the mountain chain of human progress.

Morality is a great thing for society. If one raises his own sincerity to fulfil the moral requirements of honesty, veracity, purity, etc., etc. it will result in another crown for the inner jewel of sincerity.

Morality is great, conscience is great, society is great. All are good in themselves. In a spiritual endeavour, they are stepping stones, not the final crown. For the final crown, the inner Divine is the sole reference. One must be sincere to the inner Divine and try to express it in speech, emotions and acts.

There is a test for sincerity and its level of attainments. One who has achieved mental sincerity will not complain about anything. One whose vital sincerity is complete will not know any sadness of any kind. The man who has achieved sincerity at the physical level will not meet with failures of any kind in his work.

One who achieves sincerity at the level of the Spirit will be able to evoke it successfully in others at all three levels, according to the intensity of his own attainment and the purity of the other receiving human being.