RESPECT

Throughout my entire life I have overlooked and forgiven disrespect for various reasons and have allowed myself to be treated VERY badly... especially by those closest to me. Instead of allowing natural reactions (beating the the piss out of 'em, or doing whatever to make myself feel better) I have bottled my emotions, reminded myself to act like a girl (to the best of my ability) and chose the 'higher road' so to speak... (not to mention the years spent crying myself to sleep; wondering, identifying and taking responsibility for the whys...)I suppose the psychoanalysis of the self inflicted mark would deduce an outlet or expression of repressed emotions (burning hate, rage and sadness) in dealing with such betrayal and disappointment... OK, so you could say..

I'm overly sensitive: I would agree....anyway...The tattoo is to remind me what is most important so that I may respect myself and my values enough to avoid lowering my standards: So that I (remember to) never again volunteer for a position to be taken advantage of or let down: To be even MORE cautious concerning who is in my vicinity and what they are capable of. If that means I will fly solo for eternity, oh fucking well... so be it.

Liars, cheaters, thieves, bullies, manipulators, perverts, slackers, users and abusers can all go to hell without me because I am tired of giving my heart, soul, fortune, hope and good will to such charities. Fuck all y'all who will step on others to get ahead. Fuck all of you parasites and emotional vampires who will suck others dry then move on. Fuck all of you who want or want to be me. I refuse to be your source. I have given enough. I finally recognize the difference between a fountain and a drain.

"Equal Respect"

What you think of yourself is reflected in the way you treat others.

A very effective way to raise your own level of confidence

is by acting positively toward the people around you.

Rudeness toward others, whether intentional or not,

is a sure sign of a lack of confidence.

When you have no respect or consideration for others,

it's difficult to have much confidence in yourself.

Ironically,one of the worst things you can do for yourself

is to think only of yourself.

The more genuine respect, consideration and

courtesy you express toward those around you,

the more your own confidence will grow.

If someone is rude to you,

make every effort to be sincerely pleasant

and courteous in return.

Just because someone else is allowing rudeness

to drain away their own energy,

doesn't mean you must do the same.

Have the confidence to be courteous,

and the confidence to act with genuine

respect toward others.

Your positive attitude and positive actions will

empower you with even more confidence and energy.

The True Essence Of Friendship

" GENERAL TRAITS OF A FRIENDSHIP "

Perhaps the one relation that has survived the trials and tribulations of time and has still remained unconditional is friendship.

A unique blend of affection, loyalty, love, respect, trust and loads of fun is perhaps what describes the true meaning of friendship between two individuals.

Similar interests, mutual respect and strong attachment with each other are what friends share between each other. These are just the general traits of a friendship.

To experience what is friendship, one must have true friends, who are indeed rare treasure.

"We Need Change"

A Cycle
AM for everyone

The prices of the prime commodities in the market today are skyrocketing. It is on of the many effects of the global increase of the price of crude oil that is hitting every nation of the world. Indeed it has many consequences. Rich and poor countries will suffer dramatically but the greater effect will be felt by those third-world nations including the Philippines. And worst of all, it is directly hitting the biggest economy of the world; the United States.

And an economic recession is under way along with the rest of the world. An economic downfall of the US will mean a bad economy for whole world since US is the biggest trading partners of all the countries and its mighty dollars dictate the currency and stock markets of the world.

And the gap of the haves and have-nots will be widened once again because of this phenomenon. Some economic analyst said it will not last longer because of the so-called economic cycle where one nation really undergoes a series of ups and downs of its economic growth. And eventually it will stabilize the goodness of all. There are many factors that will determined whether the present economic slowdown will hit hard or last longer depending on the policies and will of the people of a certain nation.



In our case, the worsening increase of basic commodities like the rice and other foods directly hit our poor citizenry. The very basic needs of the people can no longer be bought in a lesser price as before. The minimum wage earner will no longer afford even a decent meal since his salary is not enough for his family’s needs. And it will worsen if our lawmakers will do nothing which will alter the trend in the price in the market today.

And if we will took deeper for the cause of it all, it will boil down to one thing; corruption. And we don’t care since it is but a natural phenomenon for the Filipino. We are indeed corrupt and will be corrupt for the longest time. This is a negative pronouncement but it is the truth and the reforms needed are not yet in our generation I guess.

Even though there are so many militants group today, they are not capable of overthrowing the government since they are in one way or the other are corrupt also. I have seen many political idealists in my younger years but in the end they are swallowed by the same money that they are trying to remove before. How many militant groups who are once for the poor but now they are the one who are in Congress doing nothing for the poor?

They are once an aggressive agent of reforms but now they are in a situation when they cannot separate their personal interest to those interests of the masses. They are once in Mendiola but now they are in Congress doing nothing. Well they are doing well in press where they are claiming to oust PGMA but what the hell they are being bought by the same person they are trying to remove.

And in the final analysis, we the people are always the losers. Even the next generation will not be exempted to the effects of the happenings of today. They will suffer the consequences as we are suffering the consequences of the mistakes of the past generations. A cycle that will eventually keep on turning unless we do something about it. An act that will destroy all the idealisms and myths about the real situation of our nations. A revolution within!

"Too Much Of Everything"

Youtube Nation
for everyone

Every move that you take. Every sound that you make. Every scandal that you created. Definitely one day it will be on Youtube. This decade shall be called an era of exploitation of almost all of the privacy that we have. With the help of recent technologies everything will be viewed on the internet. Whether you like a porn, or an educational one, no doubt they are on the web. With just click a mouse and everything is on our fingertips. Even if we are on the remotest village, we can still access the net and in an instant we are connected to the world.

With all of these privileges that our ancestors did not enjoy in the past, we can conclude that we are lucky enough to experience the abundance of information that are readily available anytime as long as we are connected wired or wireless. However they are still the perils of misguided information that can lead to nowhere. And with no restriction since the Web is free for all, most of the kids nowadays realized and are educated via the net. They can learn the many things the world has to offer whether they are bad or good. And mostly bad. And to add it on they are many online games that are supposedly for adults only can be played by kids.

Sometimes if we have to imagine the emergence of new ways of communication we can say that we cannot live without the convenience of those gadgets that become necessary for our survival. We can live without cellphones or internet at least for a day but since they are very common in our lives, a mere absent of those will become a deficiency in our part. We cannot imagine even for a single day that we are not to use our cellphones. However if we are to look back a few years back, we are living very normally without those technologies and still we are fully human. In other words we are slave to the very technology that we are embracing. But we love it. We really appreciate the seemingly endless possibilities that the digital revolution is bringing to us.

And what’s next for us will be the unimaginable. The things that existed only in science fiction will come to life. And a new revolution will sweep the world in unprecedented trend that one has imagine will one day be a reality. And we should look forward to it with all the positives in mind. We should learn to create a world of technological leap that will surely propel us to efficiency and much enjoyment in this life.

And never mind the utopians that only dreams of the world as a gloomy future ready for destruction. And it is us human could only decide what will be the best for us. And for the generations to come.

"Everyone Should Treat People With Respect"

"Because we like to be treated kindly,
We ought to treat people in the same way."
The First Sermon
In the Name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful

Leniency means to be sensitive to the feelings of others, so as to convey your ideas to them in a kind and peaceful way that opens their hearts, and minds, without resorting to any harsh words that might turn them away or even become aggressive.

Similarly, when you deal with others, even within your own family, whether your wife children, or parents, you ought to respect their feelings and be kind to them, for this is the way that makes your ideas enter the mind of the others, and make them emotionally ready to be understanding and compassionate.

As for violence, which in this case might be demonstrated by cursing the other, or the of use harsh words that drives him to feel that you are despising or challenging him, or talking to him in a conceited manner that humiliates him, just because you feel that you are in a position of power...

This idea, the need to be kind in your relations with others, whether at home, at work or in any other social dealing has been asserted in several verses in the Glorious Quran. We read" say to My servants that they speak that which is best". If you want to speak to others say the best worlds word, that unite and not disperse words that endears them and not provoke hatred. Words that takes into consideration the intellectual level of those who are hearing them… Just as you choose the best house, the best clothes and the best food, you have to chose the best words for they are for more significant than food or clothes… They might make you enter in a war or drive you into a contict :surely the Shaitan sows dissensions among them; surely the Shaitan is an open enemy to man.

Goodly exhortation

If you want to engage in a dialogue with others, with whom you are of different religious political and social affiliations them , you should Call to the way of your Lord with wisdom and goodly exhortation, and have disputations with them in the best manner; surely your Lord best knows those who go astray from His path, and He knows best those who follow the right way.
Even with the people of the Book, we are commanded to adhere to this method of dialogue, Enemies too should be turned into friends through this manner (_And not alike are the good and the evil. Repel (evil) with what is best, when lo! He between whom and you was enmity would be as if he were a warm friend).

But there are those who are not ready to enter in a dialogue with you. They depended on the flexing their muscles in a show of force. That is why Allah has excluded those who are unjust among the People of the Book an asked us to treat them as they treat us {If then any one transgresses the prohibition against you transgress ye likewise against him}. This is also what Allah taught His prophet, Noah, to do when his people made fun of him.

If you ridicule us now we can look down on you with ridicule likewise.

As for those who would have a dialogue with you treat them with good exhortation. For Allah puts everything in its place.

"Intelligence Is Not Intelligence Without Humility"

How to Be Humble

"In reality there is perhaps no one of our natural Passions so hard to subdue as pride. Disguise it, struggle with it, beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself...For even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility." - Benjamin Franklin

"It's hard to be humble," says an old country song, "when you're perfect in every way." Very few people, of course, actually think they're perfect in every way, but it can still be pretty hard to be humble, especially when you live in a society that encourages competition and individuality. Even in such a culture, however, humility is an important virtue. Learning to be humble is of paramount importance in most religions and spiritual traditions, and humility can also help you develop as a person and enjoy richer relationships with others.

[edit] Steps
Appreciate your talents. Being humble doesn't mean you can't feel good about yourself. Self-esteem is not the same as pride. Both come from a recognition of your own talents and qualities, but pride--the kind of pride that leans toward arrogance--is rooted in insecurity about them. Think about the abilities you have and be thankful for them.

Understand your limitations. No matter how talented you are, there is almost always somebody who can do something better than you can. Even if you are the best in the world at doing one thing, there are other things--important, worthwhile things--that you cannot do, and you may never be able to do some of these things. Add to this the fact that there are a great many things that no person can do, and you can get some idea of your limitations. Recognizing your limitations does not mean abandoning your dreams, and it doesn't mean giving up on learning new things or improving your existing abilities. It does mean coming to terms with the very real limits of your abilities.

Recognize your own faults. We judge others because it's a lot easier than looking at our own faults. Unfortunately, it's also completely unproductive and, in many cases, harmful. Judging others causes strife in relationships, and it prevents new relationships from forming. Perhaps even worse, it prevents us from trying to improve ourselves. We make judgments about others all the time, and we often don't even realize it. As a practical exercise, try to catch yourself in the act of judging another person or group of people, and whenever you do, judge yourself instead and consider how you could improve yourself.

Stop comparing. Why? Because, it's just about impossible to be humble when we're striving to be the "best" or trying to be "better" than others. Instead, try describing things more objectively. Rather than saying that so and so is the best guitarist ever, say what exactly it is that you appreciate about his skills, or simply say that you like his playing style. Let go of meaningless, simplistic comparisons, and you'll be able to enjoy doing things without worrying about whether you're better or worse at them than others.

Appreciate the talents and qualities of others. Challenge yourself to look at others and appreciate the things they can do and, more generally, to appreciate people for who they are. Understand that everybody is different and relish the chance you have to experience different people. You will still have your personal tastes, your likes and dislikes, but train yourself to separate your opinions from your fears and you will appreciate others more--you will be humbler.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Never be afraid to admit that you made a mistake. Part of being humble is understanding that you will make mistakes. Understand this, and understand that everyone else makes mistakes, and you will have a heavy burden lifted off of you. Why do we make mistakes? Because we don't know everything. Any one person can know only the smallest bits and pieces of the tremendous knowledge that has accumulated over the past. What's more, we experience only a sliver of the present, and we know nothing of the future.
Don't be afraid to defer to others' judgment. It's easy to acknowledge that you make mistakes and that you're not always right.

Somewhat more difficult however, is the ability to acknowledge that in many cases other people--even people who disagree with you--may be right. Deferring to your spouse's wishes, to a law you don't agree with, or even, sometimes, to your child's opinion takes your recognition of your limitations to a different level. Instead of simply saying that you know that you're fallible, you take action based on that fact. Of course, if you know that a particular course of action is wrong, you shouldn't follow it. On closer inspection, though, you may realize that you don't actually know this as often as you think you do.

Rejuvenate your sense of wonder. Because we, as individuals, know practically nothing, you'd expect that we'd be awestruck more often than we typically are. Children have this sense of wonder, and it inspires the curiosity that makes them such keen observers and capable learners. Do you really know how your microwave works? Could you build one on your own? What about your car? Your brain? A rose? The jaded, "I've seen it all" attitude makes us feel far more important than we are. Be amazed like a child and you will not only be humbled; you will also be readier to learn.

Seek guidance. Contemplate moral texts and proverbs about humility. Pray for it, meditate on it, do whatever it takes to get your attention off yourself. If you're not into spirituality, consider the scientific method or vipassana. Science requires humility. It requires that you let go of your preconceived notions and judgments and understand that you don't know as much as you think you do.

Think about yourself under different circumstances. Much of what we give ourselves credit for should actually be credited to luck. Suppose you graduate from an Ivy League university at the top of your class. You definitely deserve a lot of credit for the many hours of studying and for your perseverance. Consider though, that there may be somebody just as intelligent and hardworking as you who simply had different parents, grew up in a different place, or simply had the bad luck to make one wrong choice in life. That person - you, really - might be in jail now, or they might have been killed in a war or starved to death. Always remember that with a little bad luck yesterday, your whole life could be different today and, furthermore, that today could be the day your luck changes.

Help others. A big part of being humble is respecting others, and part of respecting others is helping them. Treat other people as equals and help them because it is the right thing to do. It's been said that when you can help others who cannot possibly help you in return, you have learned humility.

[edit] Tips
Keep in mind that being humble has many benefits. Humility can help you be more content with your life, and it can also help you endure bad times and improve your relationships with others. It's also essential to being an effective learner. If you think you know it all, you won't be open-minded enough to seek out new knowledge. Humility is also, somewhat counter-intuitively, an excellent tool for self-development in general. After all, if you feel superior, you have no incentive to improve. Most of all, being humble allows you to be honest with yourself.

[edit] Warnings
Pretending to be humble isn't the same as being humble, and often people who pretend to be humble do it in order to seek out praise. Other people will recognize this, and even if you fool some, you won't derive the same benefits as you would through actually developing humility.
Similarly, don't confuse being humble with being sycophantic (being overly-praiseful of someone for your own profit). This is a common misconception, but the two attitudes are completely different.

"Keeping up relationships is never that easy you need to nurture it to last"

ENHANCING RELATIONSHIPS...

TRUST

Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation. A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board."

There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB.Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you.

"We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive others, others will ignore our mistake too.

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing.

Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife.

Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case.

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character." It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.

RIGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy.

We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party. A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me?

We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you." Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them.

Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey. Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."

The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled.

They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future. Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.

BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment.

When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide. Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge.

Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge. People make mistakes.



We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever. Stop and think and appreciate God's power in your life,for doing what you know is pleasing to Him.

"R-E-S-P-E-C-T"

Developing a relationship isn’t easy. It involves entering completely into another man’s world, and that can be a frightening thing. His family, his friends? His personal history? Pretty heavy stuff. Don’t let it scare you. It’s no monster – it is, in fact, the road to the happy ending you’re after.

One of the most pivotal elements is respect. Mutual respect. You have no choice if you want the real thing. It’s tough, again, and I know this. But you must give to get and, in the case of relationships, giving means being open to what he’s into and what makes him the man he is. If he’s the man you think he is, he’ll return the favor.

As your relationship begins, think about who you are and who he is. What are you willing to compromise for the sake of this partnership? How much of what he is attracts you enough to make you want to do it with all your heart? If you’re sincere about wanting the real thing – and that’s why you’re here – you owe it to yourself to answer these questions.

Remember: we all live in our own private universes. We are the center. That means he’s the center of his own too. Respect his life and respect his feelings. As you expect your own desires and dreams to be treated properly, so does he. And, if the attraction is there, it’s more than worth the effort. Maybe the relationship won’t work out. You may make other contacts in the future. But you’ll be guilty of nothing more than have trying to give your best to him.

We live in the age of entitlement and this makes it rougher. We all believe our due is the perfect guy. Yet we’re far from perfect ourselves, a fact we often overlook when we interact with men on my partner. We’re impatient. We want it now and we want it fabulous. Real partnership calls for a lot more, and I think you can give it.

The good news? It can be fabulous. Just be available to him in a truly emotional way. Express caring. Convey concern. At the very least, listen to him. Be a friend. You may find you’re paving the way to the thing you wanted from the start. At the worst, you made a strong connection with another man.

I reiterate: listen. Hear what your partner is saying. He’s communicating a great deal, especially if you read between the lines. And, if you have a real affection for him, you’ll want to do this. There’s nothing more rewarding than giving to someone you have feelings for. That’s when the true fireworks start, the blasts that come from the heart and soul.

"WHO IS BEHIND THE KEYBOARD?"

Do you remember sitting in a chat room,
watching people chat, or even chatting yourself?
Do you remember receiving so many forwards
that your mailbox was ready to explode?
How about receiving an e-mail from someone just searching for a friend.
Did you wonder who these people might be that are behind the keyboard?
Online we meet new people from all around the world.
Some we chat with just once and then we go on.
Others we chat with time and time again, and a friendship is made.
Others become our e-mail buddies,
and we look forward to their e-mails each day,
but have you ever really wondered who was really behind the keyboard?
Have you ever hid behind your keyboard,
pretending to be something you are not, just to boost your ego?
As you sat there and typed have you ever lied, thinking
"who cares, the person behind the keyboard, it is only a fake person?"
Did you ever hurt someone thinking "it's only a game"?
Well, behind each and every keyboard are very real people,
some might be heartless cold people, not caring who they hurt,
but then there are people that are caring, loyal,
honest and all kinds of people hoping for some companionship online.
Behind the keyboard can be someone
who is seriously depressed and their only hope is to make a friend,
maybe an aging person who once had a family,
but now they live too far apart to see one another,
perhaps there is someone that cannot walk anymore
or a person so ill they are in the house forever.
As we enter the world of the internet
we should remember,
it is a very real world and
behind each and every keyboard
is a person who has a heart.
No one has a life that is pain free,
so as we go online whether in chat or just e-mailing,
we must remember to treat each person
the way the we want to be treated,
to respect each others' feelings,
and to offer friendship, because the truth is
we really do not know who is behind the keyboard
or what kind of hurt someone may be feeling.
To be the best to others that you can
be should be the "key" to a good, honest life.
-Author Unknown-

Friendship is fragile

Is friendship fragile? It’s a really difficult question, please, try to think it over...any ideas?...



On the one hand we should reply NO...friendship is bond for life...we have friends all over the world...all of them are busy...as we are...married...as most of us are...but we still have strong friendship for life...just not see or talk to each other each day...This is mobile society these days, so we can be together in many many different ways...Yes?...For sure.


But on the other hand running through our life we inevitably pass over a lot of changes...and as result we leave behind...give up...lose something...Mostly we regard friendship as a kind of pastime...Stop here and reply the question “When proposely will you have spare time?”...Indeed...We have just calls from time to time...e-mails even more seldom...what to talk about meeting...We should admit and realize that friendships are getting less and less close, geographically or emotionally, and most friendships have gone forever. Very few are strong enough to make us wish for a second chance.



There are times when all of us look closely at a friendship and realize that it just isn't working..and when friendship falters we are rarely equipped for the aftershock. Close friends, after all, often become like siblings - some "closer than a brother." As we make friends feeling soul-mates, like-minded people...FREE of obligations and engagements. But losing a close friend is not at all like losing a family member. We tend not to sorrow the loss of a friend; there is no memorial service for a shattered friendship. Most people don't seek shoulders to cry on to grieve the loss of friends like they do the loss of a family member or a romantic relationship. They don't go to counselors either to heal the relationship or to cope with the loss. Indeed, despite the evident high value so many people put on making friends, there is a surprising lack of focus in popular culture on the processes and feelings at work when friendships end.

Don’t we need to repair lost friendship? Or it’s just so easy to resolve?...and we just do not need any advices...


How much can you expect from a friend? Why does this question arise? Because your answer is a pretty good barometer of how well your friendships will weather relational storms. Let's face it, we don't ask much of casual friendships, the kind in which you invite each other to a party once a year. But we demand more from friendships characterized by strong feelings and a shared history. We expect friendships to be easier, more automatic than they actually are.

Think about your childhood friendships. They often set the tone for all the rest. You never "worked" on the friendships, they just happened. For example, your first best friend lived just two houses down from you and you literally met in the sandbox at school. The bond was almost instant. He/she liked vanilla ice-cream and building sand castles. So did you. What's to discuss? It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship—until your family moved to another town and you found another sandbox.

Just a few short years later, sandbox bliss was replaced by the tormented, possessive feelings of a third-grade relationship where blatant betrayal reared its head. That's when you learned that your new best friend was playing at another classmate's house after school. Sound familiar? It happens to nearly all of us.

There may be worse betrayals in store, but probably none is more influential than the sudden fickleness of an elementary-school friend who has dropped us for someone more popular. “It shouldn't be that way”, we think to ourselves. But alas it is. It's the lesson our friendships continually teach us, a lesson we don't want to learn: Friendships are FRAGILE.

The seeming ease of friendships—compared to romantic and family relationships (more likely loaded with emotional baggage)—is part of the reason we value friendships so much. Relatively speaking, friendships just happen...So...as much easy it happens as easy it falls through???...

Well...the main point here is FREEDOM...It’s your will, your decision, your action...Attemt to build a bridge...to reconnect and make things right...call your lost friend...tell him/ her “I don’t know what happened between us...but I want to apologize”...sincerity always caughts off guard...apologize both for past insensitivities and laugh and laugh at how comical it all seems in retrospect...It’ll be cleansing...you have a good chance...TRY IT...

Once betrayed friendship can't be regained

"FRIENDSHIP IS LIKE A CRYSTALLINE GLASS THAT SHOULD BE TAKEN CARE OF,BECAUSE ONCE BROKEN IT CAN NEVER BE RESTORED NO MATTER HOW WE TRY TO PUT BACK THE PIECES,WE MAY FIXED IT BUT WE CANNOT BRING BACK IT'S TRUE BEAUTY."

It is priceless, it is a treasure, it is a gift.

The value of true friendship is infinite and priceless. Nothing can compare or ever replace the genuine, caring connection between two people who not only understand, but want only the very best of all things in life for the other. It is a gift, it is a treasure.
A deep sustaining, timeless friendship is rare and at times can feel difficult to find, maintain, or believe in. But, the more that you believe in yourself, the more love you can give to yourself, the more genuine connections you will be able to attract, manifest, and hold onto.



SHATTERED, furious, resentful, heartbroken, numb, humiliated, rejected, hurt, and NOT SAFE – these are just some of the feelings we experience when we’ve been betrayed.

Unfortunately, betrayals appear to be on the rise. It helps to know that we are not alone as broken trust is a universal experience. The human need to belong and be part of a relationship makes us open and therefore vulnerable to these painful emotions.

Help

The Heal from Betrayal website offers a fresh approach for dealing with emotional injury. This site is oriented to self care with the ideas/suggestions provided freely to anyone who is open-minded and looking for relief.

An act of betrayal can hurt as much as, if not more than, a physical injury, but the trauma resides not in the body but in the mental/emotional/spiritual realm – our subtle energy fields. If we think of betrayal as a wound to the energy system, it follows that to heal; we must acknowledge and work with this same energy system. The Techniques page on this website offers energy healing suggestions to help with this inner work.

As an added benefit, once the betrayed has regained peace of mind and heart, healthy decisions can be made about the damaged relationship (s); forgiveness becomes a possibility.

What is betrayal?

Many people hear the word, "betrayal", and think of infidelity, yet the experience is actually much broader. Yes, the hurt feelings can result from a love betrayal, but the same symptoms can also be triggered by an unfaithful coworker or boss; betrayal in a friendship; disloyalty from a workplace, community, even country; the earth appearing to turn on us; or what is sometimes described as the ultimate betrayal - a loss of trust or faith in our relationship with “something bigger, something spiritual”. Regardless of the source, the emotional distress is often severe.

A friend knowingly breaks a confidence that causes hurt and loss of reputation; this is betrayal. A spouse professes love and loyalty while involved in an emotional affair outside the marriage; this is betrayal. A boss or organization pretends to be honest and fair while manipulating employees to exploit their talents; this is betrayal.

What do these examples of broken trust have in common?
· Personal and/or cultural expectations (understood by the betrayed as “The Truth”) are present.
· Based on these expectations, whole-hearted loyalty is given to another.
· "The Truth" is shattered; often due to someone making choices despite potential, major damage to the relationship.
· Shock and intense hurt feelings inevitably result.
These types of challenging, and often bitter, betrayals are the focus for healing at this website.The betrayed assumed something to be true (actually needed to believe for emotional safety), then discovered the core belief was false. I think this collapse of a belief structure does something to the human energy state.

Ingredients of happy relationships

I have been discussing the importance of thinking through a couple of issues. First and foremost is asking a set of key parameters that determine the value of a relationship to you, and secondly, asking the right questions to assess your relationship. In this article, I am going to discuss the little things that you ignore and think are not important that will make your relationships work.
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Communication: Communication is key. Learn to talk about everything under the sun and never assume you know. You could be wrong. Many people have failed in this area and ended up depressed, lost, and lonely. Believe me; it always helps to talk about something than bottling it up inside of you. Lack of communication will cause you to make wrong conclusions about people and you will never even get a chance to know who you are. When you hear a rumor, don’t act on it immediately. Find the facts first, before you take any action. Explaining your thoughts, motives, and plans is very vital. Don’t use guesswork; it’s unwise. We have ears to hear, eyes too see, hands to make signs, books to read, etc., to be able to get a message across. (Related article: Communication for couples)

Sacrifice: Sacrifice in a relationship is the key to reaping good results eventually. It works in everything else in life and it will work in a relationship too. You have to learn to sacrifice certain things in your life for the sake of your partner and for the sake of the relationship to work. If you don’t learn to sacrifice, you will think there is nothing wrong with you, but only with the other person. You cannot spend your life changing partners or looking for the perfect one. None of us is perfect but we can work at becoming better people as we appreciate one another. (Related article: How to rebuild trust in a relationship?)

Give: Life if about giving and not taking! Learn to start giving and you will soon see the results. Don’t wait until it’s Christmas or until you get that job and earn a lot of bucks. Out of the little that you have, give. When you fail to give now when you have little, it will not be possible to give when you have plenty. It’s the thought and the value of that gift that counts. Believe me; if it’s from you heart it will be of value to the other person and they will cherish it. The question is,
when your partner is speaking. Watch their expressions and learn to know their gestures too so that you are able to read their actions easily. Know what angers them or makes them smile or laugh. Get involved in the little details of their lives too. Yes, even knowing the type of lipstick she uses and the aftershave that he likes. Know the birth dates and anniversaries too. Knowing the little
“Would you like to die all by yourself without a loved one to hold your hand? How would you feel when you get sick and there is nobody to come visit you in the hospital? If you invest in good, you will receive good back. (Related article: Tips for insecure men)Time: Time is a very valuable asset. Time lost is never gained. If you will spend time wisely, you will never regret it.

We are not in this world forever. So if you can do good today, do it. The person may never be there tomorrow, even if you cried your eyes out at their grave; it won’t bring them back. So use every opportunity you get, so that you will have memories stored up in you. Give time to get to know your partner, be there for them when they need you and they will be there for you too. Never get too busy for the little things in life otherwise you will find them gone. Never take life for granted and learn to strike a balance. I have met men who in their quest for money and power have neglected their spouses and eventually lost them to other men. They become bitter and blame the woman. If you neglect your partner, they may become vulnerable to any man who would come along and give them the time that you don’t. (Related article: Tips to fix a broken relationship)

Attention: Be attentive intimate details makes the relationship exciting and it gives both of you enormous joy in knowing about each other. So you are both kept busy and there is no loophole for an enemy to destroy your bond. (Related article: Bedroom tips for couples)

Trust: For a solid foundation, trust must be established. Once trust is established you will begin to open up to each other. Once this is in place you will be able to love without fear. It takes a while to build trust but it only takes a second to destroy it.

Honesty and Sincerity: Be sincere to your partner and tell the truth. If you have kids, tell it; been married before, say it; you have a health problem, mention it. Avoid hiding things that may or will eventually come out and cause an explosion and destroy the relationship for good. When you partner trusts you with a secret that they have never told anyone else, then do not ever use it to manipulate them or use it as a weapon to inflict pain on them the day you have a fight. Being trusted is a privilege, not a right. Remember that happiness for both of you is of prime importance. Be careful what you say especially the promises that you make. We are tried and judged by our words

Build: For a relationship to grow it needs to be nurtured. You have to build each other up and learn from one another. Understand the strengths and weakness and build on them. Accept their shortcomings and help them see their potential in life. If your personalities don’t match and you are not satisfied, please walk out ASAP before any serious involvement happens. We all learn from one another. We are here today and able to communicate because somebody took time to help build us.

Breaking up: When the relationship is not worth pursuing, it is always wise to end it in a polite way. Learn to talk about it and come to a conclusion. Give it a thought before you do, just in case there is still hope to save it. The important thing is not to make enemies but to walk away feeling free and having a clear conscience knowing that you made the right decision.

No man is an island! Two is better than one. When two brains come together to make a decision the results are remarkable. Moreover when you are down, your partner will lift you up and give you the strength to go on. When you win in your relationship you will succeed even in bringing up good, responsible children who will make healthy relationships and contribute to the world at large.

Adults face challenges while cowards use excuses to deal with challenges. Don’t use the telephone or SMS text or email to break up unless you are a coward and uncertain of what you are doing. Face to face is always better. After all, you spent all those intimate moments looking into each other’s eyes; it is best to show the same courtesy when ending the relationship. Tell them why you can’t go on. Be able to live with that decision and ensure it’s the right one. If not, you may realize too late that you made a big mistake. In other cases it’s a simple and straightforward thing to do like when you find your partner in bed with another person or when you have an abusive relationship.

I believe it’s always good to be able to meet your ex later on in life and be able to say with a smile, “Hello, how are things going for you?” If you ever have to go through a heart break, remember you will always heal, no matter how deep the pain or wound you will heal. There is someone out there for you and it’s not the end of the world!

The Art Of Respecting Women

If someone had to ask me what my secret was to keeping women in my life it would be this one principle to respecting women. Not being like those so called "all guys are the same" type that women always complain about. When you respect a woman she will do absolutely anything for you as long as you are genuine about it. If you are being fake or just trying to be someone you are not so you can get into a woman's pants it won't work they are smarter than you think my friend.

When you respect a woman and she knows it she will brag to all of her friends how much of a good guy you are and you're already half way there. I know of men who don't even go out and meet women in night clubs and they consistently have women around them and this is because they respect women and the word travels to other women like a plague. You would have heard of word of mouth? Well women talk and when you are different and unique to men you start to become well known.

So what is respect exactly in the first place? To take notice of, to regard with special attention, to regard as worthy of special consideration, hence, to care for, to heed.

How do you respect a woman? To respect a woman it means to simple be genuine to not play games and to be the real you. To know the difference between right and wrong and to always be honest to yourself and others, to not only respect women but men as well. To not do anything to someone else that you would not like done to yourself.

I hear of men who brag about picking up a woman that has a bf or how they "hooked" up with a woman who is seeing someone. Now these men who brag first of all have no respect because I am sure if that guy had a girlfriend and she cheating on him with another man he would not be too happy about it. What this guy doesn't realise is that word travels fast and that eventually the word will get out and when it does women TALK and that guy will be known as a guy who has no respect for women therefore ruining his chances with all of the woman's friends and then their friends which will be attractive high quality women.

Women don't want to hang around men that they cannot trust they want to hang around a man who has his life together and has respect for himself and others. I can honestly tell you that having respect for women is one of the biggest causes for women being drawn to me.

I had received a phone call the other day from a female friend and she was telling me how her boyfriend was intimidated by me and she was explaining how she said to him he had nothing to worry about because out of "ALL" the guys she knows I am one that respects women and would never go there. Having respect for women not only goes a long way but the friendship made and trust built is remarkable. You don't have any bitch shields when approaching their friends because they are practically pushing their friends towards you because you are such a "good guy."

So I don't know about you men but if you never had to approach another woman in your life again and you had attractive quality women approaching you seeking your approval and wanting to be with you then that wouldn't be that bad of a problem to have would it?

We Don't Feel Respected When...

"When we show our respect for other living things, they respond with respect for us."
To respect a person is not possible without knowing him; care and responsibility would be blind if they were not guided by knowledge.

*We are forced
*We are ignored
*We are threatened
*We feel imposed upon
*We feel intruded upon
*We feel judged or rejected
*We are not listened to
*We are lied to
*We are lied about
*We are not given reasonable explanations
*We are not asked for our opinions
*We are invalidated
*We are interrupted
*We are laughed at(especially when we are upset orin pain or some kind of trouble)
*We are not cared about
*We are mocked
*We are stereotyped
*We are underestimated
*We are not taken seriously
*Our feelings are not taken seriously
*Our preferences are not taken seriously
*Our dreams are not taken seriously
*Our ideas are not taken seriously
*Our needs are not acknowledgedand not taken seriously
*Our questions are not taken seriously
*Our questions are not answered or are evaded
*We are told that we wouldn't be able toto understand something (Note)
*We are not asked for our ideas
*Others make decisions about uswithout our input
*Others do not try to understand us
*Others make assumptions about us
*We are not asked what we think we need
*Others tell us what they think we need.
*We are not asked how we feel
*Others believe they know what is best for us
*Others believe they know us better than we know ourselves
*Our way of doing things is not accepted
*Our privacy is invaded or denied
*We feel betrayed
*We feel controlled.

To have a PERFECT LOVE is the road on having a perfect life.

Characteristics of a great partner

What do you look into your partner? What do you expect form him/her? Every person has an image of their partner in their minds and think that their partner should be loving, considerate, joyful, have a great sense of humour and should love them crazily. Following are a few things that one always tries to search in their partner and which not only makes a great partner but also are the characteristics of a great relationship.
Someone who is caring and honest.
Someone who laughs with you and cries with you and is there for you at all the times.
Someone who truly listens to what you say and understands that though listening is a key, but using what is heard is even more important.
Someone who knows what you want before you say it.
Someone who respects you for what you are and does not flatter you unnecessarily.
Someone who is open and responsive and with whom you can confide in like a friend.
Someone who is never critical and ill tempered and knows how to compromised in the relationship.
Someone who loves you with all his heart.
Someone who likes everything that you do.
Someone with whom you have many common interests to share.
Someone who is trustworthy and who will risk his/her life for you.
Someone who takes time to listen and enjoy you for who you are and tries not to make you something else.
Someone that has a personality with qualities you don't have yourself, but admire greatly in them.
Someone who loves the stupid stuff you do without making fun of you.
Someone who appreciates your food even if it is not tasty but loves it because you have worked so hard to prepare it.
Someone who can make you happy when you are sad.
Someone who tells you the truth even if you don't want to hear it.
Someone who is a sweet, romantic person who cherishes you no matter what.
Someone who knows you're not perfect but treats you as though you are.
Someone who is a great person, a great kisser, and a great lover!