How to Remain a Loving Family While Fighting

Happy families work to find a solution that’s good for everyone.

Everyone wants to be a member of a loving family and every loving family has disagreements, arguments and silly little quarrels. Some disagreements lead to a better understanding, and others, well, no one remembers after the fight is over what started it in the first place. Loving families create a safety zone where anger can be expressed without anyone getting hurt. Such a family is not threatened by disagreements, they know that families can argue, learn something new and still get along. They’re aware of each member’s strengths; they value different points of view and consequently they won’t let anger fly out of control. They take care of each other even when they’re fighting. Here’s how you can do that too.

Things You’ll Need:

A willingness to understand

Step1

Physical violence is not allowed. Loving families have an irrevocable rule against physical violence. They may get into shouting matches, but they would never hit each other, throw things or destroy each other’s property. There’s a mutual respect for each other’s point of view, and even when they’re in the heat of an argument, there are places they won’t visit. They don’t insult each other or call each other names.


Step2

Handle disagreements in a way that's best for all members. A happy family knows that the goal of arguing is to clarify what’s happening. If one person is upset, family members want to find out what is going on rather than winning. They know that proving yourself right tears a family apart, but trying to understand what life is like from your family member’s perspective solidifies your connection. Happy families work to find a solution that’s good for everyone.


Step3

Assume positive intention. Happy families use anger as a signal that they need to sort through the muddle and find clarity. When one family member is angry, instead of assuming the worst, they come to each other in a spirit of cooperation. This provides a better chance of a positive outcome.


Step4

No blame allowed. When one family member is angry or upset, every member feels it. Instead of blaming the person who is angry, happy families commit to resolving the problem so that each member feels better.


Step5

Appreciate the differences. Instead of erasing differences, a loving family finds ways to incorporate elements of both points of view. There’s nothing wrong with feeling frustrated that your family member doesn’t do things the way you would do them, but avoid the trap of thinking that the reason your life is difficult is because of them.


Step6

Instead of saying, “We can’t get along,” say out loud, “We’re having a disagreement, but we’ll figure out a better solution.”

"Keeping up relationships is never that easy you need to nurture it to last"

ENHANCING RELATIONSHIPS...

TRUST

Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation. A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board."

There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB.Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you.

"We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive others, others will ignore our mistake too.

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing.

Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife.

Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case.

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character." It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.

RIGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy.

We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party. A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me?

We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you." Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them.

Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey. Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."

The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled.

They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future. Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.

BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment.

When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide. Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge.

Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge. People make mistakes.



We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever. Stop and think and appreciate God's power in your life,for doing what you know is pleasing to Him.

"True Happiness Is Free"

"Unconditional Happiness"

Happiness is not the result of favorable conditions.
That's backwards.
Favorable conditions result from happiness.
So what does it take to be happy?
Nothing more than a willingness to be happy.

Happiness comes from the way you respond to life.
There are people who have every reason to be miserable,
but who still live with happiness and joy.
In every life, there is room for happiness.

Everyone has challenges.
Everyone has disappointments.
Yet they do not have to get you down.
True happiness comes not from the absence of problems.
True, enduring happiness comes in spite of the problems.

Happiness is not a reaction, it is a choice.

Let it be yours.

"Memories"

If past can be erased [ Sad Love Poem ]

How can I forget the day?When my only vision was you The very first time in my life

When I fall in love with you The moments when I saw wonder Adoration in your eyes The spring has gone But still I am alone in pain You hold your arms and Asked me to come in there Your arms was around me so I felt safe in protected We walked together hand in hand You showed me colorful dreams I was blind with your love And was lost in there Thousand of blooms appeared And those fade away You washed my dreams and Suddenly you left me in dark Everything feels as a bad dream When my eyes were closed When I open those There was nothing left If it’s just a crush for you Why you put me in pain to suffer?? If past can be erased Why this tears in my eyes??

"Be Friendly No Matter What Race or Ethnicity,Friendships Has No Bounderies"

"Friendship Makes Our Lives Easier"

Its great to be able to meet people from all over the world. I love making new friends and learning more about their cultures and beliefs. I feel that if more people talked to each other throughout the the world we would be able to understand more and have better feelings towards our fellow countries.



We all may have our differences but we are all human and live under the same sky and breathe the same air. And we all have the same maker. And I know we have different beliefs in who that is. But I really hope to make many new friends. Peace and Love to all and God Bless You Always.

"Having A Strong Faith With God Will Lead Us To the Right Path"

Want victory in your trouble..

In a world mixed with troubles and happiness, we long to finish up with a crown of victory when it is all done. Sometimes we had to go through evil darts of Satan and we struggle to get along. Though the situations you face may differ from that you had expected and there is none to understand you or help you. There is a God who is compassionate and is ready to help you and waiting to reward you one day.

It’s not necessary to long for a close friend who would be at your side to help you and understand you. God says He will be your ever-present help that you need not fear anything. This message is to remind you of the love God has for you and help you turn to His everlasting open arms!

The Voice of Comfort:

“For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but My kindness shall not depart from you…” – Isaiah 54:10

The gift of God – ‘grace’ comes to us out of His infinite compassion. Even if the mountains get displaced, His grace will be constant, never changing. People may not understand your situation and the deep problems that hurt you. But God’s grace abounds you that He not only understands you and your problem but also He responds to help you with His everlasting grace. Grace is precious. The Bible says,

“It (God’s loving kindness) is better that life” – Ps 63:3 “It is precious” – Ps 36:7, “It is a Crown” – Ps 103:4. “It is sufficient for you” – 2 Cor 12:9.

God’s grace is given to us, free of cost. His grace takes care of us, guides us and saves us from sin. We need this grace everyday and every second of our life

If we don’t pay the milkman our dues, he will stop the supplying milk. If we fail to settle our current bill, electricity board will cut the power line that comes to our house. But God never cancels or cuts His grace. Have you heard of any mountain that displaces unable to withstand the severe storm? How heavy the rains lash, how fierce the wind blows and hurricane and typhoons hit, mountains always stand firm withstanding any huge catastrophe.

Even if these hard, deep-seated mountains may fall or move (which is impossible), God’s grace will never leave us.

There is a guarantee period for everything that we purchase. But it is only for a limited time maybe a few years. The guarantee period for His grace to us is lifetime. Imagine how grateful we must be for His grace and we must try to enjoy this overflowing grace forever. We mustn’t lose it by getting involved in undesirable activities.
“Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs” – Jonah 2:8.

His grace was not given to us in vain – 1 Cor 15:10.
Praise God for His marvelous grace that is beyond compare. Humble people in heart will inherit this grace says the Bible.

The Voice of the Companion:

“ God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, Though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; …. ”
– Ps 46:1-3.

Children are scared of darkness, dog and other similar factors. Adults are frightened of natural disasters, like raging storm, devouring fire, earthquakes, and tsunami… Here the psalmist says, “we will not fear” and when we read about when? In a situation, which is greatly frightening when nature itself is disturbed to an inconceivable extent that the whole earth be removed or shifted from its orbit.
We have never in our lifetime that any mountain has collapsed. Nor we have read any account of such happenings.

All we know and heard or seen is that a boulder has rolled or a particular cliff or a rock has given or sometimes sand loosen to make a disaster. If the mountains fall on the whole or crumble – the very thought or even imagining that is too frightening. It is impossible but here the psalmist claims that even if that happens “we will not fear”.

Just think now!

Our problems compared to these catastrophes are nothing. The situations we come across, the problems that we face, trial and troubles.. In the midst of these daily setbacks we should not fear!

Our strength is not ok and enough to face all these situations and stay calm. Rather our failing strength wont help us overcome fear when we face diverse situations and pressing problems. Even powerful people stumble when unexpected things happen in their lives are broken. No man, no power, no situations can make you strong and fearless but God. God is above all your biggest sickening problem.

He is greater than all your depressing situations. He is much, much higher than any man or power. God’s refuge alone is your strength. God’s companionship will give you strength beyond compare and incomparable boldness. He alone is able to give solution to your unshakable and strong situation. “Companionship” – do you have this term with God?

He alone can be your comfort in the midst of your distressing situation. When you encounter great and perilous problems in your life, stop saying, “Oh, I have big problem”. And start saying, “Oh, I have a Big God”. He can solve any big problem that hinder you and can work things for you.

Proclaim boldly at your huge, giant sized problem and in the midst of your most vulnerable and trying situation that, “I have a Big God , I am not going to fear anything“.

Remember always that God’s grace and companionship to you is never changing or never wavering. Be happy enjoying God’s grace and His companionship all through your life. The grace of God and the presence of God can instill courage within us and can empower us to face any great calamity.

"Farewell My Love"

Good Bye My Lover....

Did I disappoint you or let you down?Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.So I took what's mine by eternal right.Took your soul out into the night.It may be over but it won't stop there,I am here for you if you'd only care.You touched my heart you touched my soul.You changed my life and all my goals.And love is blind and that I knew when,My heart was blinded by you.I've kissed your lips and held your head.Shared your dreams and shared your bed.I know you well, I know your smell.I've been addicted to you.Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.You have been the one.You have been the one for me.I am a dreamer but when I wake,You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.And as you move on, remember me,Remember us and all we used to beI've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.I've watched you sleeping for a while.I'd be the father of your child.I'd spend a lifetime with you.I know your fears and you know mine.We've had our doubts but now we're fine,And I love you, I swear that's true.I cannot live without you.Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.You have been the one.You have been the one for me.And I still hold your hand in mine.In mine when I'm asleep.And I will bear my soul in time,When I'm kneeling at your feet.Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.You have been the one.You have been the one for me.I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

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