Trust In Your Dreams

Believe In Yourself

There maybe days when you get up in the morning and things aren't the way you had hoped they would be,that's when you have to tell yourself that things will get better.

There are times when people disappoint you and let you down,but those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself and all that you are capable of.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life,and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you.


It may not be easy at times,but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are,so when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities,remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be,because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep believing in yourself.

Success = Preparation + Opportunity

While you’re waiting, moments are debating on the direction they wish to go,

Are they riding you, are you riding them? These are things that you should know

Are you ready?

While you’re debating, moments are waiting on the wish to go direct,

Do you walk towards or walk away? These choices you must respect

Are you thinking?

While your moments are directed, you’re wishes are waiting, they go the way you debated,

How does it feel, is it fake or real? These impulses are all related

Are you in-tune?

Why wait and debate, while your moments need direction, go with your wishes for a change,

What will you be, are you lost or just free? Define who you are, and be brave

Believe…

Think Big!!!

You've Got To Think Big To Be Big.

If you don't have a dream, how are you going to make it come true?


High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation.
You'll always hit what you aim for in the long run.
Why not aim high?

Have the courage to follow your dreams.
It's the first step towards attaining your destiny.

Big thinking precedes big achievement.

"I AM BEAUTIFUL"

I THINK ITS PERFECTLY HEALTHY TO THINK AND KNOW YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!


In fact I think more people should be completely self loving of themselves.. I don't think people love themselves as much as we used to as a society..we have all these things such as: depression, cutting, suicide, all these things people do to harm themselves and they either do it for attention, or b/c they need help.

I THINK IF MORE PEOPLE LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AND SAID "Oh MY GOODNESS I'M SO GORGEOUS, I'M AMAZING, OR DAMN I LOOK GOOD!" we would'nt have that problem.I may see one blemish in a week, or my roots may be growing in, and I need to bleach them, or I may need to shave... but other than that.. I THINK I'M HOTT 24/10....

and I am not STUCK UP, b/c I do not put other people down, I put other people ahead of myself, I try to help everyone I can in general or with problems, money, whatever I can assist people with so I know that I'm not stuck up, b/c I'm not better than anyone..ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS AND NOT GIVE UP... to be me... thats all... My haters are just PROOF that I'm doing things right... and am famous.

NORMAL PEOPLE don't have a clan of people who hate them for no reason who try to knock every attempt they make or sneak around trying to take pics of them in their worst just so they can talk shit..so in that respect. I guess I AM PRETTY FAMOUS.... lolbut back to what I was talking about.... CONFIDENCE! everyone should have it...I dont think ANYONE is ugly, its all about how you view yourself.

If people call you ugly, pretty much that just means you are very unique looking, and probably could be a super model.... "hey, look at kate moss without makeup!"I just think people TRASH and BASH me, b/c they cant and will NEVER be doing the things that I do..

It's really quite simple... and from my stand point and view on how I live my life and the career that I have made...I just think I'm VERY VERY lucky to be able to do it... TO HAVE AMAZING FANS... and all the people and family and friends who support me and push me to succeed no matter what...

so my haters can talk trash all the want... FOR YEARS TO COME... because I am NOT going anywhere!BUT YOU CAN NEVER SAY I THINK I'M BETTER THAN OTHERS... OR THAT I'M STUCK UP!b/c thats a flat out lie, and its freaking stupid....I'VE ACCOMPLISHED A LOT IN MY LIFE....

and I'm very proud of myself..I POST A LOT TO SHARE NEWS AND UPDATES WITH MY FANS...I'M JUST VERY BLESSED AND LUCKY TO HAVE AMAZING PEOPLE IN MY LIFE!So THANK YOU...To each and every person who has helped me get this far.. and who will continue to help me... or plan to help me...YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING..and I will NEVER let you down...

"Don't Quit , Quitting Is Never An Option"

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sign,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

When….

Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint in the clouds of doubt.

And you never can tell how close you are.

It may be near when it seems afar.

So, stick to the fight when you are hardest hit.

It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit.

"Dream,Believe & Achieve"

The Magic Hundred

I know you'll find this hard to believe but I've a pretty good idea about what brought you to this blog page today.

I know that, like many, many thousands of people around the world you've been searching for that one thing that will give you the answers to the question you've been asking yourself for most of your life.

The question that is first on your mind when you wake up and last on your mind before you go to sleep at night.

When Will I Finally Be Happy?

Now, you probably don't ask the question in those exact words, in fact, I'm fairly certain you ask yourself more 'ordinary' things like:

"Why can't I lose this weight?"

"Why am I always struggling to pay the bills?"

"Why am I always arguing with my kids or spouse?"

"Why has my life become so boring?"

"Is this all there is?"

You might ask any of these things or a thousand other variants of them but regardless of how you actually phrase it, you're basically asking "When will I be happy?"

I know, because I used to ask myself questions like these every single day.

In fact, up until around 7 years ago my life was a mess. I didn't always like to admit it at the time, but it really was.

I had a lovely wife and four beautiful children and wanted to give them all the great things that life had to offer but I also had a dead-end job that paid me peanuts, no money in the bank, bills up to my eyeballs and was living from paycheque to pitiful paycheque. It would be more than fair to say I was scratching a living instead of truly living a life.

That was bad enough but what made things even worse was that I couldn't figure out how things were going to get any better for me.

You see, I had left school early to join the army so I had no academic qualifications, no money to put myself back through college and get any and no obvious way out of the hole that I felt I had dug my life into.

I must admit, it seemed to me at the time that I would somehow be doomed to a life of 'getting by' just like my parents and their parents before them, being forced to stand by and watch 'the privileged few' seemingly effortlessly get everything they wanted from life.

But Fast-Forward 7 Years...

...and the picture is very different.

I own five businesses that generate over half a million pounds a year, I'm regularly featured in national and international press, I write for numerous magazines, appear at international conventions and on television and am counted by many as one of the leading experts in the world in my field.

I own my own 4 bedroom home just 5 minutes from a beauftiful forest, I drive the car of my dreams - a brand new Landrover Discovery series three - I take vacations all around the world with my family to jungles, deserts, the Arctic Circle and the Australian 'Outback' and have seen amazing sunrises and sunsets over temples and tropical paradises that I'd only ever seen in photographs until 7 years ago.

I'm So Grateful That My Life Has Taken This New Course But I Also Know How Easy It Could Have Been To Have Kept Things Exactly As They Were Because Of Fear, Frustration And Lack Of Belief

You see, I know EXACTLY what it's like to feel like you're never going to make it, like you're never going to be, do or have the things that you really want from your life.

I know!

Who hasn't felt this way?

Yet I also know that giving in to that feeling doesn't help. Not a single bit.

In fact, giving in to the thought that 'things are the way they are and there's nothing I can do about it' is the surest way to condemn yourself to a life of unhappiness.

After all, how can you be happy when you're 'settling' for what you're getting from life rather than going after and getting what you really want?

You can't!

But I also understand that it's not always easy to dream big dreams about being successful when the evidence that surrounds you every day reminds you that you're anything but.

Telling yourself to 'remain positive' or 'have faith' just doesn't help when life is giving you negative examples of how little your faith has helped you, does it?

There's only one way to break free from the inertia that's keeping you from the things you want for your life and that's to commit to a structured plan that will take you from where you are to where you want to be.

Sounds too simplistic, I know, but nevertheless it's true.

Of course, the difficult part in this is to find that structured plan in the first place!

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"SURVIVAL"

Survival of the fittest

Some times I wonder what will become of the human race. In nature, survival depends on a few basic rules. The best adapted and healthiest survive long enough to parent a next generation. They have to be fast enough, strong enough, camouflaged enough, healthy enough, or they won't live long enough to breed. Diseases, weaknesses and birth defects will result in a quick death, so that they do not pass on those bad genes to there offspring. It is natural selection.




Humans have also lived by these rules for a long time. The smarter humans made adaptations that allowed them to live longer than the dumber ones. The ones born with serious defects and diseases did not live long enough to give birth. Thus the human race developed into the intelligent species we are today. But intelligence came with a price.

We became smart enough to develop medicine. We became smart enough to make life easy enough to allow even the sick and weak to grow up and pass there genes on. Through protection of the community and growing adaptations, the sick and weak no longer were doomed to die.

People who were not able to survive diseases, now survived thanks to better medicine. Instead of just passing on the genes of surviving resistant and strong individuals, they passed on the genes of those who were unable to survive even a simple pneumonia without medicine. The human race grew weaker and weaker, as medicine grew stronger. And the humans multiplied, the populations exploded.

When a population of animals grows too large in nature, nature intervenes. Disease spreads and weakens the population, killing large enough numbers to restore a healthy number. We have killed so many of the natural predators in our forests, that we now have to take the place as top predator and hunt a certain number of moose and deer every year, to prevent the populations to grow too large. We know what will happen otherwise, we hunt to keep the populations strong and healthy.

Several times in human history, it seems like nature has tried to intervene our growth as well. The Spanish Flu, the Plague of Justinian, the Black Death, and many others, all killing humans by the millions. All atacking violently and spreading rapidly, designed to kill in crowded populations.

Now a new kind of pandemic is spreading, HIV and Aids. As if nature understood that a flu or a plague just won't get the job done, it created a virus that we could not stop. But we have found treatments, a way to stop HIV from developing into AIDS. Most of the time. The infected get to live on and spread there disease to others.

Cancer is a growing problem, it seems that almost everyone nowadays gets cancer in one form or another during there lifetime. In the past, people who were vulnerable to cancer died. Now they live on, maybe get cured, and pass on there genes to their children. I am a child of a cancer-survivor myself. It is not a good feeling nowing that the genes that gave my mother cancer now live on in me. And are passed on to the next generation. Generations before me, and the generations that follow me, pass on the weakness.

Why is it, that people born with the most horific birth defects and fatal diseases must survive no matter the cost? I understand that people love their family, and I understand that even sick and disabled people can live a good life. I don't say that they do not deserve a chance of life. But I do have some feelings on this matter that may upset and disgust many of you.

When my animals give birth to young with defects, I do not let them live. The young end up as meat. And the parents get neutered. Animals with serious diseases and weaknesses also get terminated. As a result, my stock has been healthy and strong the last 9 years. I only allow the best males and females to mate, the rest get neutered.
The human race is weakening itself. We should not allow the terribly defected to give birth to children. We should not allow the geneticly diseased to pass on there genes. Passing on genetic diseases and defects to the next generation is not only cruel, it is not natural. People who were not meant to survive should not pass on those genes to their children. There should have been a testing of the children after birth. If they do not live up to a certain normal physical standard, they should be sterilized. And genitic defects should be tested for, with the same result if they do not pass.
It is not natures way to pass on bad genes to the next generation. Have you ever seen a blind moose in the wild? Have you seen an adult deer with just three legs? Have you seen a bird with crippled wings? Have you seen the defected give birth? No. They get eaten or die of disease before they ever get to reach the age of sexual maturity.

Nature eliminates the weak and let the strong survive. In Africa, there are some prostitutes who are immune to HIV. Nature has given them the strong genes needed to resist the virus. Those are the women that should give birth to new generations of Africans. Scientists should collect their eggs and pass on those good genes through artificial insemination to new generations of Africans.

And the people with HIV and AIDS should either be put down or isolated. A mandatory blood test for everyone would find the infected so that we could isolate them from the healthy. We could stop tje virus from spreading further. But no one is willing to do this. Why sacrifice a few for the many?

We are too many people on this planet. But maybe I have thought about this in the wrong way.

Our intelligence may have given us medicine and a weird sence of moral. But we are also intelligent enough to have created enough nuclear bombs to wipe out all life on this planet several times over. And not a medicine in the world can heal that. So maybe nature gave us intelligence for a reason. It made us intelligent enough to make the bomb, but not wise or moral enough to not use it.

Humanity will get extinct sooner or later, let's just hope that we don't take everything with us in the fall...

"Aiming For Success"

Productivity


Aim for success, not perfection.Never give up your right to be wrong,because then you will lose the ability to learn newthings and move forward with your life.

Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism.Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the rightto be human can, paradoxically, make yourself ahappier and more productive person.

Beauty Radiates From Within

Confidence Brings Out True Beauty

TELL ME I'M BEAUTIFUL. NOW!

She'd spent hours preparing for their night out. From getting her nails done to shopping for the perfect dress to carefully arranging her hair and makeup, the end result was that she looked great. They'd hired a sitter and for the first time in months, they would be a couple again. Not parents, but a couple. But it would only be one night.

She emerges from the bathroom to find him sitting on the bed, adjusting his watch band. It has been years since she's looked this beautiful. The baby weight is gone now and she looks almost as good as they day they met. In some ways, even better. She knows the instant he looks at her, he'll be blown away.

"Did you leave the emergency numbers for the sitter?" she asks, knowing that will prompt him to look up.

With a slightly confused expression, he lifts his gaze. He focuses on her, squinting a little, then shakes his head. Without a word, he gets up and goes to the kitchen to put the numbers on the fridge.

She follows him. Obviously he was distracted by her question. It hurts a little that he wasn't blown away by her on first sight, but she'll give him another chance to redeem himself.

"Did you call to make the reservation?" he asks as she enters the kitchen. He walks from the fridge and stops at the edge of the counter. He's looking directly at her but she may as well be wearing the sweatpants and plain T-shirt that have become her daily wardrobe around here.

"Seven o'clock," she confims with a nod. And she waits. And waits. Still no compliment. The sitter arrives and they head out for the evening. As he opens the car door for her, she becomes all too aware that this evening can go two ways. She can throw a fit and ruin the evening or she can just push back her pain and try to forget that her husband no longer even looks at her anymore.
We all know which option she will choose.

Sometimes it seems as though a man would be better off murdering the family kitten than neglecting to tell his wife she's beautiful. Or going more than three months without sending her roses. Or calling her when he's going to be late coming home. I'm going to be the first woman in history to outwardly admit, we don't want to be hysterical about these things. We really don't.

We know even as we're saying the words just how nutty we sound, but we can't seem to help ourselves. You didn't say we were beautiful and in that moment we have an almost exhilirated anger with you because we know...

For this, you shall pay. And you shall pay dearly.

In preparation for this blog, I consulted my friend Bud, who has been happily married for years. He and his wife have learned a few things the hard way. Whenever a situation like this arises, instead of saying, "You didn't compliment me," which just puts him on the defensive, she'll say,

"Tell me how beautiful you think I am, in your own words." Or, "Tell me how much you love me." Instead of starting an argument, it becomes a fun little game, and it keeps him from feeling like she's saying he's a bad husband.

Men are not mind-readers. They just aren't. Sometimes life gets in the way, sometimes he takes a look at you and thinks, "Wow, she's so beautiful," but he can't quite find the words to express how he's feeling. Or maybe something happens that distracts him from telling you. Whatever the case, the woman feels taken for granted. She longs for those early days when you did tell her you thought she was beautiful. Back then you didn't assume she knew it. Back then you actually felt you had to tell her for her to know.

If I'm dressed up for the evening and he hasn't complimented me, I'm not sure there's anything I could do that would turn it around. The thing about romance is, if someone has to be told to do it, it loses its luster. But what I'm suggesting is that maybe men just need a little nudge every now and then.

Something that lets them know you need something that he isn't providing. And since temper tantrums only serve to completely destroy the evening, maybe simply asking for what we want is a more productive solution. How about saying, "Look at me and tell me what you think." Or, better yet, how about complimenting him and seeing if he says something in return?

But whatever you do, asking, "Do I look fat?" is NEVER a good idea!

"Believe In The Influence Of Feminity"

Who Better Inspire Women,

Than Women Themselves

It's so easy for women to slip into self-doubt and feeling inadequate.

After all, we shoulder a lot of responsibilities - being supportive of our mates, nurturing our children, stating in touch with extended family, holding down jobs while holding down the effort at home.

No wonder we sometimes feel anxious, exhausted, and insecure.
We Need To Know We Are Not Alone. We need to hear that other women share ourexperiences.

We need reassurance that there's someone who understands - someone who's been there, done that.

As women, we take turns encouraging, supporting, and cheering one another on.

"Never Ever Doubt Your Worth"

I am worth a lot

Your Self-worth depends on how you value yourself.If you have a high respect in yourself you are considered a rare gem & great catch by the opposite gender.

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question "What kind of man are you looking for?

"She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking, "Do you really want to know?"Reluctantly, he said, "Yes."She began to expound...

"As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself.I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man...or woman for that matter.

I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'"The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I need something more.

I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation.

I don't need a simple-minded man. I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden.

I am looking forsomeone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him.

I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business.I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy.

God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself."When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face.

He said,"You are asking a lot.
"She replied, "I am worth a lot."

"Be A Women Of Confidence"

CONFIDENT WOMAN

Head held high,A smile filled with surprise;
A swing in my step,
As I flash my Baby Blue Eyes!

Strut in rare form,
Lipstick to match my nails;
Strong personality to bare,
Creativity within my tales.

I turn heads in my path,
As each step I take with pride;
I am sexy within my confidence,

No longer the need to run and hide.
You come close to know my name,

Eager within your words;
I am a sheer mystery,
Dancing inside songs you've never heard.

Smile at me as I walk by,
Remembering the sway of my walk;
Falling asleep to the sound of my voice,
And the sweet way I talk.

"Trust"

For me trust is something u cannot gained it easily..but people rarely appreciate it after through all the hardship to gained it...

I've seen...
a friend...who being betrayed....
a wife or husband who being cheated....
a parents...who being dissappointed...
a children..who being neglected....
a lover....who being disposed off....
i've seen it happening to me...and people around me....until i believe....before u trust somebody...u'll know them first...love them and cherish them....only then u should be prepared with anything...
and it make me realise....
u cannot trust people so much they will betray u...
u cannot love them so much....they will hurt u....
u cannot spoiled them so much with ur attention...they will take u for granted
dont put their promises as something you can hold on to... u will fall...
dont put their sweet talking ...as true...its just a talk....
if they flirt...just join back...its harmless and meaningless....
so my friends......for me.....love is like a chocolate....
its not always sweet ...sometime its bitter....only when its bitter....
you can know yourself....so to all my beloved friends....
love your friends...
love your family.....
love your parents...who bring u up facing this world....
love a person who u love and love you back in return....
but love ur LORD...ur GOD...no matter what religion u are....
Our LORD is the one who will never let you down no matter what...
to a friends...who have been hurt, betrayed, cheated,left out, neglected...and dissappointed...remember you didnt loose so much....u still have HIM....
the past is past...it cannot be return...
live ur life for today....

Don't try to hope so much for the future..because u cant predict it...u will be dissappointed if its not according your plan...

Do Not Be Sad......love u all.... thank you for being my friend......nice knowing all of you....

Cheating

When Does Cheating Happens?

Cheating happens when you start looking for what you don't have. Somewhere along the way, you will meet someone who will be more charming or sensitive than the one youre already with.

More sexy, More thoughtful, wealthier, better in bed, and you will meet someone who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your boyfriend/girlfriend ever did. No boyfriend/girlfriend is perfect, because your boyfriend/girlfriend will only have 90 percent of what you're looking for.

So, cheating happens when you look for the missing 10 percent. Lets say your girlfriend is melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty girl next-door who has a cheerleader laugh no matter what she says: I broke my arm yesterday, ha ha ha...

Or because your girlfriend is a couch potato who is always in pajamas and smelling of garlic and cooking oil, you may fall for the CK-One-smelling colleague who comes to work in a sharp pinstripe blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt.

Or because your boyfriend is the type who never shuts up even when you've tried using duct tape, your heart may skip a beat when you sit next to a brooding, mysterious Latino on the bus.

But wait! Thats only 10 percent of what you don't have. Don't throw away the 90 percent that you already do! add to the 90 percent the 100 percent that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together.

The many adjustments you have made to better understand each others little quirks and idiosyncracies. The wealth of memories that you have accumulated as lovers. The old sparks that can always be rekindled by the walk on the beach, barefoot and underneath the stars...

Cheating happens when you start looking for what you don't have. But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already do.

"MONOGAMY"

Lets talk monogamy... Who makes the rules?

Before we start lets define the usage of the word sex in this blog.
Sex – a physical act intended to bring pleasure.

Not this definition:

Sex – an act between two people in love, used to express intimacy, closeness, adoration, admiration, the joining of two souls, I want you to complete me and be my love moon, blah blah blah.

Next let me prepare you and your mind for this blog.
I do not accept any beliefs, thoughts or rules just because I am "supposed to". I want to understand everything I do at a factual and logical level. You are going to have to put yourself in that place as well if you really want to get your brain going with this blog and generate some deep discussion.

Reasons like: "just because", "that's way its supposed to be", "that's just how the world works", "that's how I was raised", "that's how people in my city think", and "I don't know", aren't acceptable reasons.

If you are 1 week before your period, do not read this blog. You will be blinded by emotions and they will override any logical thinking your brain is capable of, go cry because your shoes are black and come back next week.

If you are not a confident person, then this blog is not for you. Without true self confidence, this topic will always be off limits, because you live a life of thinking you aren't good enough and someone else has more to offer. Gross.

Last, this is not a religious blog and all statements and thoughts are made outside of the context of the bible and biblical/religious history. If you base the discussion on the bible then it states husband and wife only, but that's not as much fun to write or read about so we will take the secular approach.

Ok, now lets discuss.

Why is it that sex is always such a point of contention in commited relationships? Someone is cheating on someone, someone is fantasizing about someone else, someone is hiding a secret from their partner about someone they saw recently, etc etc.

Men, after a certain period of time being with the same woman and being told you cant be with anyone else, your mind begins to wonder. Wonder what someone new would feel like, wonder what the chase would feel like, wonder what a dog collar would feel like around your neck while someone feeds you dog biscuits and only refers to you as Fido, wonder what some "strange" would be like after 5 years of the same thing.

I would never say that all men act on these urges, but I will say all men have these thoughts and most men I know have acted on them. Save the morality speech, I never condoned it, just stated facts. Plus I am sure your man has never done or thought about those things… He's different, trust me.

Ask one hundred husbands if they could have a night of wild, hot sex with a beautiful stranger with no risk of getting caught or any guilt associated, how do you think the majority would answer? If they did, the wife didnt find out, it didnt make him love or adore her any less, then would it really matter?

Women, after a certain period of time your mind might wonder about what it would feel like to have new exciting sex with a Latin dancer who doesnt button the top three buttons on his shirt and continually drips sweat on you while he is drilling you like an oil rig, what it would feel like for the danger associated with sleeping with a bad boy, one that wouldnt be sweet to you and would fuck you like a 16 dollar whore, what it would feel like for a millionaire to sweep you away on his yacht for a weekend, the two of you sipping champagne and making love on piles of 100 dollar bills and caviar, what it would be like to feel that nervousness again, the kind you feel when you get naked with someone for the first time.

Why is it that we take the most natural thing on earth besides breathing and eating and make it so off limits and taboo? Because society says we should? Because the media says we should? Because that's what our wedding vows said? Because that's what our parents did?

Some of the possible reasons/answers to that question:

1. Because your spouse is yours and yours only, no one else can touch them. My question back to you is, why? Who says? Because if I dont know who says that rule then its highly unlikely I am going to listen to the mystery source dictating the rules.

2. Because fooling around could lead to falling in love and leaving your spouse. My answer to that is if fooling around one night with someone other than your spouse is enough to make you abandon your entire relationship then it was going to fail anyway. Might as well happen now than drag on your bullshit relationship for 5 more year.

3. Because what if you experience someone that is better in bed and gets you curious and wanting to explore more. If you experience that, tell your spouse and the two of you work on that technique or sex life.

If after 5 years of just pleasing each other someone new shows you some tricks then either you two need to get in bed more often or, great, we learned new ways to please each other.

Not, "oooh that was good, let me leave my spouse and go try that again".
The list of reasons could go on, but I still don't think any of them are valid if the two of you are confident in yourselves, each other and the bond the two of you have. What are the other reasons?

I am not speaking of an open relationship where each person can do as they please without accountability.

I personally think that leads to lies, covering up and emotional connections. Which are all dangerous and all break trust with your spouse.

I am talking about one night, letting your spouse sleep with a stranger or a stranger sleep with you. Or someone going out of town on business and banging a slutty chick all night until she forgets her middle name.

Or the two of you and another couple pile up in a king size bed until the sun comes up. No lying, no covering up, everything open and on the table in front of your eyes. And, with someone that you will never see again, text the next day asking how their morning is going or meet for lunch or continue to "connect" with.

Basically the other party is used purely for your physical temporary pleasure and then tossed aside once it is over. The other party also views you as a temporary source of pleasure as well.

How does that scenario take away or hurt your relationship with your spouse? They are using someone else's body for pleasure, basically like a sex toy, except they are live sex toys.

Jealousy? Why would you be jealous? That other person gets them for 45 minutes, you get them anytime you want and your spouse chose you to spend their life with, not the 45 minute human sex toy, right?

If anyone should be jealous its the 45 minute person, they should be jealous because you get them for a lifetime and they only got them for 45 minutes.

Your spouse gets a massage that is purely for pleasure, if you remove the taboo that the media and society has put on sex then could they be viewed the same?

Why is it ok for a man to touch a woman's hand but not her breasts? Who said breasts were off limits? Again, media, society, influence…?

If 50 of us were born and day 1 placed on a 5 acre island in the middle of the ocean. No influence from the past, no influence from society or the media, no one to teach us what is off limits.

Would we just naturally grow up know that women are supposed to cover their breasts and sex should be only allowed between two people for eternity?

Of course not, we wouldn't have a world there to tell us how to be, so why again do we let a world that is pretty fucked up dictate to us what is right and wrong or what is off limits?

I want to know why and "because the world says so" isn't a good enough reason for me.

I'd like to hear your open and honest thoughts on this topic, I will personally reply back to every comment left.

I am not here to convince anyone, I am just here to discuss. My replies will be unbiased and unemotional. Just give your random thoughts or answer the below questions from the blog.

1. If you have a solid foundation with someone, does a physical act purely for pleasure affect that foundation?

2. Is it different if both people in the relationship openly discuss and are aware of the acts vs an open relationship where each person does as they please.

3. Is it different if its a regular person that you sleep with vs a random stranger that you never meet or talk to again?

4. Is it different for the woman to do it knowing that for most women stimulation and attraction starts with her mind and emotions, and attraction for a man starts with something as simple as being there and smelling good.

5. In the majority of cases if a woman is being fulfilled mentally, emotionally and physically by her partner she will not want to sleep with another man. If a man has everything he could ever want, sleeping with another woman is still appealing.True or false?

6. If you are 100 percent confident that there is no one that can fulfill your spouse the way you can, then should you be worried or jealous of someone else touching them? If the answer is yes, then why?

7. Do you agree with the 5 acre island without any outside influences theory?

8. What are the reasons why have monogamy in your relationship?

9. Jealousy? Why would you be jealous? Unless you felt that your spouse would choose the other person over you… Right?

Just Say 'Yes' to the Moment

We should all learn how to slow down.

So what we do when we get anxious and insecure is we speed up. We get busy: we get addicted to email, we get addicted to being online, we get addicted to food and drugs, we get addicted to talking to other people--not just to communicate but just to keep busy. Buddhist practices offer a way of saying, Hey, come back over here, reconnect. The only way that you'll actually wake up and have some freedom is if you have the capacity and courage to stay with the vulnerability and the discomfort.

Meditation helps us to pay attention so that we can directly realize and trust the goodness that's there. We actually begin to recognize that who we are is awareness, who we are is love, and our sense of identity shifts in such a fundamental way that it actually challenges the small-self story.

What do you mean by "small-self"?

The perception that we are separate and deficient. One of the metaphors I always find helpful is that our being is like an ocean and we get identified with different waves, like different weather systems that go through, like we get identified with fear or clinging or certain thoughts and if we can recognize those waves but remember our oceanness, really remember who we are, remember the innate radiance of our mind, the tenderness, then we can be with the changing weather systems, the waves, but not get caught up in them, not lose sight of who we are.

One of the teachings I love the most from the Buddha is, "Our fear is great, but greater yet is the truth of our connectedness." So we can remember our belonging at any moment—even facing death—if we can remember the love that holds us. Then we can actually face living and dying and have something that's large enough to hold us.

One of the reasons I was so drawn to writing about radical acceptance is because we spend so many moments at war, and we do it in the ways we judge ourselves, we do it in the ways we blame others, we do it in the ways we feel it's our country against that country.

There is so much division in this world. So what is really the path of healing? It can begin in this moment, by embracing the life that's here. Because if we can begin to bring a sense of peace and care to the life inside us, naturally the circles widen to include other people. It's the way of the heart—if we can be kind towards ourselves we'll be kind towards others.

This conference is about fear, something you've written a lot about.

The biggest fear we have is that somewhere, we are failing or are going to fail. You can almost say that our personalities are in a large part a way of compensating for fear. We want to show to the world what would be acceptable and loveable. In doing so, we in some way disconnect from the aliveness and authenticity of who we are.

So I really feel like our path should be one of slowing down enough to re-embrace, re-connect with what we've pushed away. One of the simplest ways we can do that is just to intend to say "yes" to what we experience in the moment. I teach that a lot.

We can at any moment feel what's going on; just say "yes" to that. It's a practice of truthfulness, we're acknowledging what's real and saying, this is here and meaning that with some kindness and when we do that, when we accept what's in the moment, it actually taps us into the intelligence, the wisdom, the heart that allows us to act more wisely in the future.
One of the great psychologists, Carl Rogers, put it this way, "It wasn't until I accepted myself just as I was in this moment, that I was free to change." So it's a pre-condition to true transformation, is to accept ourselves in the moment.

Why are we so afraid to fail? Because we think failing means that our biggest fear [will be realized]: that we'll be rejected. And rejection is bad; it severs our belonging. So we do whatever we can to not have that happen.

If deep down we're feeling something's wrong with me, we can't really be intimate with another person. We can't take risks, we can't be creative, it binds our life. So when people start recognizing how much of their life has been imprisoned by that trance of unworthiness, just that recognition with it comes a sense of "Oh, it's possible not to live inside that." And it's very liberating.

When some people talk about accepting themselves they have this fear that they're condoning some bad behavior, or that if they accept themselves, that means they'll never improve. But the truth is, we're not saying, "It's OK that you did that bad thing."

All we're accepting is the actuality of our experience in the moment: I'm accepting this shame is here, I'm accepting this fear is here, I'm accepting this anger, I'm accepting that there's craving,

I'm accepting the truth just now, that I acted out of that craving and I ate too much. I'm accepting how bad I feel about that. But in the moment of accepting, we're not condoning. We're just acknowledging the truth of what's here with kindness. The reality is, if we can do that, it actually begins to free us so we can in the next moment, be a lot more wise.

Can you tell us about your own practice? Do you meditate every day?



Yes. I meditate 45 minutes in the morning and I catch-as-catch-can through the day.

You're very good at making it a priority.

Yeah, because it's a gift to the soul.

What I believe in for myself and for most of us is that we need to learn to pause more. That we race through the day, it's like we're living our life as if we're on our way to the next thing which means we get to the finish line—death—and we haven't really dropped in and touched what's here. So a lot of my inner training is to pause and reconnect, it means I come back into my body and come back into my life.

I think the two most powerful questions I ask myself are, "What is happening inside me right now?" and "Can I meet this with some kindness?" Just to keep stopping and doing that. Because if I can do that with my own body and heart, then I can show up in the same way and pause and really notice with another person, their vulnerability, that each one of us is scared in different ways. I mean we're all feeling the same stuff.

And also their goodness, like I can actually pause and sense that each of us wants to be happy, we want to love without holding back and we want to be free. So it helps me to pause and then move through the day with more awareness.

Does American culture pose particular challenges for Buddhists?

There's a growing number of people that are really waking up and cherishing waking up, people who want to be honest with what's happening and want to live in a genuinely compassionate, tender way. It's a challenging time in that it's very painful to see all this violence there is in the world. It's very painful to see how out of fear and greed and consumption we're destroying the earth.

A number of us won a Buddhist peace fellowship in Washington at the time we were going to war with Iraq because there's a recognition that to be committed to reverence for life, and not harming means that to take a stand in our world, that you can't separate our inner commitment to spirituality from our outer commitment to be part of the healing of the world.
And a number of us were arrested; I was arrested before the war started. But the commitment was not to be an anti-war movement that was strident and angry; it was to come from a place of genuine caring about the world and embody that. And so we actually, it was quite a respectful kind of process and it continues to be happening.

So when you ask me about being a Buddhist in the world today, it's not being a Buddhist, it's being a person that loves life and wants to wake up and I feel like, I have many friends in many different religions, we're all holding hands, wanting to wake up together.

Is activism a big part of your life?

Yeah, it is. I don't think of the spiritual path as something that's just on a cushion or in a cave. I feel like we live out our values and our love for life by waking up both in solitude and quiet and also by speaking our truths and doing whatever we can on the planet that'll help us move towards healing.

"Dream & Discover What Your Future Holds"

K E Y S__T O__L I F E_________

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MY DEFINITE KEYS TO LIFE IS TO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND DO NOT LET ANYBODY TELL YOU THAT YOU CAN'T DO SOMETHING WHEN YOU KNOW YOU CAN...YOU CAN BE ANYTHING IN LIFE AS LONG AS YOU KEEP PUSHING FORWARD AND STOP TAKING THE BABY STEPS IN LIFE..LIFE IS A SERIOUS MATTER SO THERE FOR YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TAKE LIFE SERIOUSLY SO THAT MEANS MAKE THE BEST OF TODAY BECAUSE TOMORROW ISN'T A PROMISE....LIFE IS LIKE WATER..IT TRAVELS ON AND ON UNTIL YOU LET IT GO OR THROW IT AWAY BY NOT MAKING THE RIGHT DECISIONS...I HAVE DEDICATED MY LIFE SO MY LIFE IS IN GODS HANDS SO I LIVE MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST EVERYDAY AND TRY TO DO MY BEST...SO JUST HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH A KEEP GOING.

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"Reach For The Stars"

believing yourself.....

a man is what he thinks he is. if he thinks he is weak ,he will be weak, if he thinks he is strong ,he will be strong. why am i saying this is that of late i have become very positive in my approach and thoughts .this has helped me to gain the confidence of people around me and i have also started believing in myself. professional life , be it private life i see that change with me. its just a small thought that i wanted to share .

All dreams come true if you believe in this.
Step by step and your wishes will be realise.

Push the limits.

I want to make that something impossible make possible.

It is like I am finding water in the desert....

After a while I learned the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. I learned that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises. I learned that loving doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security, and I learned that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

After a while I learned to build all my dreams on today because tomorrows ground is to uncertain for dreams, and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while I learned to accept my defeats with my head held with the grace of a woman and not the grief of a child.

After a while I learned to plant my own garden and decorate my own soul instead of waiting for someone else to bring me flowers. And I learned that I really am strong, that I really do have self worth, and I can endure, and I learn and learn, with every "goodbye" I learn.

"Closing circles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever we call it, it doesn't matter. What matters is that we leave in the past the moments of our life that are over."

"SHYNESS - ANOTHER VIEW"

SHYNESS - ANOTHER VIEW

We are all born shy, aren't we? When we see little children clinging to their parents, hiding behind Mom or Dad, we are reminded about the shyness of first coming into this World. As this early stage of our life we are not ready to be seen just yet. We want to hide until it feels safe to come out and be visible.

Becoming visible is what Life is all about. Revealing ourselves, showing ourselves and expressing our "inner self" are about becoming visible and declaring ourselves "Ready" to meet the World. Much of the World certainly seems to like the shy person. People want that person to reveal themselves, to display their talents and capabilities. The World can be generous that way. It would seem that "repression" is an aberration to that so-called "Worldy Manner" where we usually invite others to share themselves with us.

This is a good thing, I believe, where we encourage each other to come out and display our wealth of creativity. As a species we are all enriched by these contributions from our shy members. It's like we know at some level that we will benefit from their displays. And perhaps they will teach us something about ourselves, since all of us have some inherent shyness built in.

Here's an interesting fact about shy people, those that still display shyness as - s - they are Creative. Very creative, as a matter of fact. The more shy a person is, the more creative they tend to be. A lot of actors and performers are shy people. Why? Because they are creative. So why do shy, creative people show themselves? Because the joy of giving, of displaying their special abilities far exceeds the limited payoff of staying hidden and allegedly safe. It's a contradiction of course, but it is true nevertheless. Most shy people (not all) are creative, and most creative people would rather give of their talents than hold back.

Are you shy? Are you creative? Then perhaps you are ready to give of yourself too! Wouldn't that be worth pursuing? If you see yourself as a "Shy" person then here's what you can do. You can hold yourself up to the light of day and declare "I am ready to meet the world." And the world will respond. "Welcome" it will say. "Yes indeed, we need you. Please show us your stuff."

And all the shy people of the World will step forward and give of themselves unanimously. Wouldn't that be a big surprise? To see all of us out there, dancing a jig, showing off our stuff, our talents and abilities.

Yes, we can do it, we who are shy. We can show our stuff to the World. Time to come out from behind Mom's skirts, and take a peek around the corner. The World is waiting for you to "Strut Your Stuff." Don't be shy now!

How to Be Popular

The meek may inherit the earth, but high school and college will still belong to the popular people. Want to be one of them? You won't have to change who you are or what you care about, but you may have to challenge yourself in ways you never considered before. If you decide you’d like to jumpstart your social life, here are some steps to help you reach your goal.

[edit] Steps

1. Evaluate the reasons why you want to become popular. Do you just want to fit in? All need to do--are those worth the benefits of being popular? Do you think they are the group you would like to join?
2. Be comfortable with yourself and present a confident image. It will be much easier to have others see that and want to be around you. Once you are comfortable with being alone and happy with who you are, it’ll be easier to make friends.
3. Create your style. While many of the popular kids may wear the same kinds of clothes and have the same haircuts, this does not mean that simply changing these things about yourself will make you popular. Don’t go overboard with style changes, as it will only make you look like you are trying too hard. Instead, look at your hair and clothing as a chance to present yourself in the best light. Maybe a new, shorter haircut will help you to show off your eyes and smile, or that fashionable pair of jeans is just the confidence booster you’ve been looking for. A change can be a powerful thing. Tailor the latest trends to your own ideas, and put forth an image that makes you feel good. Remember that some of the most fashionable people are the ones who are confident enough to take chances and be different.
4. Take pride in your appearance and stay in shape. If you’re trying to attract people to you, which is not as hard as it may seem, being clean is a definite plus. Shower and brush your teeth every day, as well as using deodorant and cleaning your ears, etc. Maintain yourself as someone people won’t mind being around. People don't like smelly people. Washing your face regularly is also recommended, as it will be important to put your best face forward, and acne can definitely bring down your confidence level. For girls, make-up can be an option. If the people you want to hang around are fat, you should eat a lot of fatty foods to gain weight and gain their trust. Then you can strike the killing blow while they least expect it.
   • Smile Always have a smile on your face. Don't make yourself look like a lunatic, just simply have a smile on your face, this encourages others to want to be your friend and smile back.
5. Get involved. One of the easiest ways to meet people is to participate in school activities, such as athletic teams, community service projects, or artistic groups. Being part of a group automatically fosters some formation of relationships, and can give you the added confidence you need to feel popular. Don’t be worried about whether a certain group is cool or not; choose something that fits your interests and talents, and eventually people will recognize you for the good qualities you have. You don’t need to be a cheerleader or football player to be popular.
6. Don't be shy. Show your talents. Especially, show the ones people would never imagine you have. This will help you achieve success, popularity and more people might take an interest in you. If a large group of people feel you will become famous for your talent, this is an amazingly fast way to increase popularity and especially recognition in your school. But don't boast! Stay humble. Bragging a little is alright, but make sure you're not serious, make it a joke or something.
7. Be assertive and outgoing. Friends aren’t just going to throw themselves at you, especially not if you’ve had a not-so-popular image for years. Even if you are not naturally gregarious, you’re going to have to come out of your shell a little bit and put yourself in social situations. Don’t be afraid to go and sit at a new table at lunch, or strike up a conversation with the person next to you in study hall.
8. Change that attitude Maybe you're not very popular because of your attitude. Being positive always helps, but there are some other, smaller things, such as your remarks or reactions, make them as smooth or as enjoyable as you can. Don't be judgmental.
9. Start talking. Talk to at least 3 new people every day. Even if it's just, 'Hey, I don't get this math problem, do you?', it will still help, and remember to always smile when talking to them. When you strike up a conversation, don't always be wondering what the other person is thinking, then something negative will get across. While you maybe thinking "Wow, I sound so geeky," your face could be saying "I don't want to talk to this freak." Avoid thinking about whether or not you’re "cool" enough to talk to a certain person; rather, let that person see why they should want to talk to you.
10. Share something about yourself - it doesn't have to be big, just funny incidents or mishaps that will make people laugh (and not totally creep them out). Believe it or not, laughter often makes people feel more comfortable around you - making it more likely that they'll recall you as someone they'll like to hang around with.
11. Develop relationships. As you begin to meet people, don’t just treat them as items on a checklist. Find out what they like to do, their interests, and learn about them as people. Give out as many or even more compliments than you receive. The reality is that people aren't really that interested in you--they're interested in themselves. So don't try to act interesting to get other people's attention, act interested in them! You’re trying to make friends, not just be known.
12. Mingle. Be sure to keep in touch with your old friends—you don’t want them to think you’ve forgotten about them just because you’re making new ones. Don't just hang out with one group all the time, either. Try and alternate a fair amount between the groups, so that people get the impression that you can get along with everyone. Don’t exclude anyone. Enemies and popularity don't mix.
13. Jump in the pool. Or do something else unexpected. What this means is, sometimes to get yourself noticed, you may have to put yourself out there in ways you hadn’t considered. Maybe this means going up and talking to the girl no one else will, or dancing crazily at the next formal. Be careful you don't become an attention grabber, nobody likes a show off. Let yourself go. You’ll be surprised how good it can make you feel, and how people respect a person who goes against the crowd and does what s/he wants. Make sure you don’t just become a ‘novelty’ who amuses others with his/her antics, however.
14. Don’t think too hard. Being popular is as much a state of mind as anything else. If people see you trying too hard to be popular, they will usually dismiss your efforts. Popularity, in the end, is only partly about how others see you. Your reputation may fade and change over time, and the only thing you can/should do about that is stay absolutely true to yourself. Use these tips for your personal benefit (not in a greedy, manipulative way.) Just continue to believe in yourself, and it won’t be long before others follow your lead.
15. But always remember, being popular is just a state of mind. Memories of high school are way more important because you don't want to regret your actions when you're much older than now, so always make sure to have lots of fun with/ without the so called "popular people".
16. But over all, the most important thing to remember is to be yourself. Because even if you achieve your popularity goals being someone that your not, you can't just snap back to who you were before and expect them to treat you as the same person, and if you have to keep being someone that you're not, then you will not be happy, and that was the point of getting popular in the first place right? To get happier. And don't change. Popularity can change everyone so don't let it.Remember to choose your friends wisely

[edit] Tips

• Dont think the popular people are something higher, or above you, this wil make you shy around them, treat them as normal people, and it will be much easier
• Be a good listener. Really listen to what people are saying and be actively engaged until you can excuse yourself. Don't scan the room looking for someone more interesting to talk to.
• Be smart. When you are not doing just small talk, try to understand your conversational partner and make matching statements.
• Be positive and optimistic. Try to always see the glass as half full. Whiners, complainers and negative people are no fun to be around, at least not for very long.
• Smile often. This goes hand in hand with being positive and optimistic. Pleasant people are a joy to be around. People who always walk around looking like their dog just died aren't. Smiling warms people up to you.
• If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. That might sound like something you would hear from your grandmother, but it is good advice. Even if people around you are denigrating someone, avoid being drawn into negative gossip. If pressed for an opinion just say something neutral like "Well she has always been nice to me", or "Perhaps he has personal issues that we can't understand".
• It helps a lot if you have a friend or two that is already popular.
• Be yourself. You'll make more friends that way.
• You can not control how people will react to you regardless of how much time you spend on your appearance. If you are basing your opinion of yourself on being popular, then there is the chance you can end up quite sad. Sometimes the really popular people are seldom happy because they criticize themselves too much or they treat others poorly because they have overgrown egos.
• Remember you have to love yourself before any can love you.
• Make a lot of new friends and hang out with them often.
• Hang out with some of the popular kids as well as the ones who are not popular.

[edit] Warnings

• Realize that your popularity will not get you through college, and may fade very quickly after high school. Popularity as a teen is no guarantee of popularity as an adult. Likewise, unpopular teens often grow up into popular adults. Many times in life the people you call nerds in school you'll call boss at work.
• Also, do not drop out of courses that you want to take just because you fear that people will not want to be friends with you. That could cut you off from a career that you may enjoy, and isn't helpful in the long run. If people leave you because of the courses you take, they aren't our friends and never were.
• Don't try to limit or change your feelings or personality just to be popular. If you find that to be popular, you have to act and think like other popular people, don't try to be popular. One should not let themselves become someone else simply to conform.
• Don’t do dangerous/stupid things in order to become popular, such as smoking, drinking, drunk driving, or illegal drugs. You’ll only be putting yourself at risk, and none of these things will make people think you are cool. Though you might temporarily appear cool to people who have problem-laden lives, you might be in danger. Think more about the big picture rather than that specific moment.
• Don't let people use you. Sometimes popular kids accept a new person just because they are rich and generous, smart and nice enough to help them or easy pickings and can be joked at. If you let them tread over you, then you'll never be truly part of the group.
• Do realize that being popular has its downsides. If you wish to be left alone, stick with being part of smaller groups, but who knows? Maybe you will find the far reaches of popularity your kind of thing.
• If the popular people at your school do the wrong things, such as smoking, alcohol, or drugs, you'll be better off to not be popular at all. You cannot change these people, and they'll resent you if you try. You'll only make yourself miserable by getting yourself into a vicious cycle, and you can get in deep trouble just for hanging around them.
• Popularity can really change a person on the inside, so don't let it change you!