"I AM BEAUTIFUL"

I THINK ITS PERFECTLY HEALTHY TO THINK AND KNOW YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!


In fact I think more people should be completely self loving of themselves.. I don't think people love themselves as much as we used to as a society..we have all these things such as: depression, cutting, suicide, all these things people do to harm themselves and they either do it for attention, or b/c they need help.

I THINK IF MORE PEOPLE LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AND SAID "Oh MY GOODNESS I'M SO GORGEOUS, I'M AMAZING, OR DAMN I LOOK GOOD!" we would'nt have that problem.I may see one blemish in a week, or my roots may be growing in, and I need to bleach them, or I may need to shave... but other than that.. I THINK I'M HOTT 24/10....

and I am not STUCK UP, b/c I do not put other people down, I put other people ahead of myself, I try to help everyone I can in general or with problems, money, whatever I can assist people with so I know that I'm not stuck up, b/c I'm not better than anyone..ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS AND NOT GIVE UP... to be me... thats all... My haters are just PROOF that I'm doing things right... and am famous.

NORMAL PEOPLE don't have a clan of people who hate them for no reason who try to knock every attempt they make or sneak around trying to take pics of them in their worst just so they can talk shit..so in that respect. I guess I AM PRETTY FAMOUS.... lolbut back to what I was talking about.... CONFIDENCE! everyone should have it...I dont think ANYONE is ugly, its all about how you view yourself.

If people call you ugly, pretty much that just means you are very unique looking, and probably could be a super model.... "hey, look at kate moss without makeup!"I just think people TRASH and BASH me, b/c they cant and will NEVER be doing the things that I do..

It's really quite simple... and from my stand point and view on how I live my life and the career that I have made...I just think I'm VERY VERY lucky to be able to do it... TO HAVE AMAZING FANS... and all the people and family and friends who support me and push me to succeed no matter what...

so my haters can talk trash all the want... FOR YEARS TO COME... because I am NOT going anywhere!BUT YOU CAN NEVER SAY I THINK I'M BETTER THAN OTHERS... OR THAT I'M STUCK UP!b/c thats a flat out lie, and its freaking stupid....I'VE ACCOMPLISHED A LOT IN MY LIFE....

and I'm very proud of myself..I POST A LOT TO SHARE NEWS AND UPDATES WITH MY FANS...I'M JUST VERY BLESSED AND LUCKY TO HAVE AMAZING PEOPLE IN MY LIFE!So THANK YOU...To each and every person who has helped me get this far.. and who will continue to help me... or plan to help me...YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING..and I will NEVER let you down...

Obsol-essence: Finding Your True Value

Yes, I know the word is spelled wrong. (It’s obsolescence.) And we all know what it means when something becomes “obsolete.” It loses its value. It has been replaced by something which serves the purpose but is far superior to that which we already have.

My desktop computer, for example, is becoming obsolete very quickly. My car began the process of becoming obsolete the minute I drove it off the car lot. Many television sets across the world are becoming obsolete—now at a later date than had been planned.

Sadly, sometimes other things in our lives lose their value and become obsolete – less valuable. It may be a job or career that you’ve struggled with for years until the point of burn-out. You no longer feel the passion you once did. Or you realize that that job will not take you to the career pinnacle you want to reach. It may be a relationship with a friend, whose path has taken him or her on a very different journey, so there’s little in common anymore. It may be a family relationship that once fueled you, but now leaves you exhausted and sad.

Or it could be an attitude or way of thinking. Or it could be a “dream.”

I started thinking about the value of life this week when one of my co-workers was struck by a car while crossing a busy street on our campus. He suffered serious head and internal injuries, and numerous broken bones. Even now, we don’t know what his outcome will be, but we’re praying for a miracle. He was doing his job--delivering mail-- when he stepped off a curb and his life changed in an instant.

For many years, I had this picture in my head of what my life was supposed to be. You know the one: A successful handsome husband. Kids, above average in looks and intelligence. A successful career as a writer, with numerous awards to my credit. Beautiful home in the suburbs. Country club. World travel.

Somewhere along the way, life threw a curve ball—no, make that a dodge ball . . . and I didn’t dodge it. It knocked me silly, and blew me right off that preconceived path I had chosen for myself. I did achieve some of the things I’d dreamed of (you HAVE seen the pictures of my kids, haven’t you?) Some I enjoyed for a brief moment in time. Other things I never quite achieved.

And interestingly, the more I struggled to create the life I thought I valued, the less I began to value “that”, and the more obsolete that Life Picture became to me. What I had valued was what I thought other people would think of me . . . not what I thought of me. I tried to create a life that I thought others would approve of. One that didn’t ruffle societal norms. One that presented an image that others would value.

But it wasn’t exactly what I needed. The life I have now is not obsolete in any way. It’s very different from what I once thought my life should be like, but it is a life and lifestyle I value. And because I value it, it isn’t obsolete. So what if it wouldn’t work for everyone else . . . it works for ME!

So many of us struggle to fit in. To be perceived a certain way. We think we want what we want because it would be good for us. Or because it would be easier for us to go with the flow, even if we’re flowing in the wrong direction.

For many years, I would pray to God each night: “Lord, please let me wake up happy tomorrow morning.” To the outside world, I seemed to have it all. But on the inside, I was confused, frightened, exhausted, and felt trapped inside the shell of a person I hardly even knew. I couldn’t see the real value of myself anymore. It was completely lost to me for a very long time.

In my delusional efforts to try to re-engineer my life, and re-direct my life, I made some really bone-headed mistakes. And some of them cost me dearly. There’s only so much you can control—and it is far less than you think it is. Finally I said, “I give up. I don’t know what to do. Just take me where I’m supposed to go.”

And then I began to spend more time getting to know me, and learning to like me—then love me. And while I was doing that, the Universe was responding to my frustrated cry to find some relevance and value for my life.

"I didn’t want to live an obsolete life."

Do you know what you really want? Can you possibly know what you really want? If no one else’s opinion of you mattered, what would you do? How would you change your life?

Spend some time today writing down the answers to those questions, or spend time, in the quiet, thinking about them. If no one else was watching you, if no one could debate your life choices, what kind of life would you live?

Life can become obsolete very quickly. Even more quickly than that of a new car being driven off the dealership parking lot. If there is an attitude, a thought, a relationship, a job, etc. not working for you, get rid of it. Find new passion. New purpose. New energy. Create new value in yourself, so you don’t become obsolete to the people who truly need you and love you.

Be Joy-Full Everyone!

"Life With Meaning"

Actions really do speak louder that words! We have to be active, involved, and hands on! We have got to SHOW that we care, and we do that through prayer, providing help/aid to those that need it, and being the hands and feet of Jesus instead of just His mouth. In fact, Chad has been addressing that very thing in his recent sermons (haven’t blogged the sermons lately…sorry!). He has been reminding us about what “church” is (and it’s not a building! It’s PEOPLE!). Each “faith community” of Christian brothers and sisters combine together to make up ONE CHURCH - the body of Christ. And because we are a BODY, we need to be a body that moves!! The hands and feet of Jesus need to be going and doing. Yes, rest has its place, but we need not be the “butt” of the body all the time.

So, how do we get moving and start seeing real “change” in this world? Well, you have got to demonstrate that you care and that comes through continuing to spread the Good News (and doing it in the most gentle and compassionate way possible)! We’ve got to keep standing together, helping each other, reaching out, and actually DOING things that support what we stand for!! For example, there are LOTS of people that say that they are pro-life, but what good is it if you merely say it and don’t DO it? Why is everyone so afraid of rolling up their sleeves and getting involved? I’m not just talking about marching, talking about it, or pestering our senators and congressman to do what’s right. What I’m especially pushing for is people to say “you can count on me!” It’s about helping out your crisis pregnancy centers, giving help/counsel to a scared pregnant mom or a post-abortive woman who is hurting, providing a soft place to fall/shoulder to cry on, developing a connection with the people you help, etc. It’s not just a “cause”; it’s PEOPLE!! Putting it more simply, the cause IS people and investing yourself in them by building a relationship/connection and fellowshipping with them. How much more is a person’s heart touched based on a personal relationship connection? How often do we display our love and compassion by pouring out our hearts in service to others? How often do we drop to our knees in humble service (literally or metaphorically) and wash peoples’ feet like our own Savior did?

Talk is cheap. Though, it’s not to say that words are not necessary or effective. Most of you reading this know that I am a “words” kind of girl (you can tell by how much I blog! LOL). I write to motivate, inspire, and encourage because it‘s one of my spiritual gifts. Words ARE important, but they are only worth as much as the heart that‘s behind them. Many of you reading already know this because I have been “active” in your lives (and you in mine!). When I say I’m there for you, I MEAN IT (and prove it!). Lots of people, including myself, say “if you need anything, I’m here for you“. I can’t speak for everyone, but sometimes that phrase is taken a little too lightly. It kind of loses it’s meaning because that phrase isn’t always a reality when it comes to ACTING on it. So, I would like to make it perfectly clear to EVERYONE that when I say “I’m here for you. If you need me, let me know!” I ABSOLUTELY mean it!! I don’t throw that out there for the heck of it. It’s not just empty words from me! Though, it’s not to say that I’m superwoman or the greatest person in the world. I do the best I can however I can, but like I tell everyone, I am human and I have my failures. So, don’t expect miracles/perfection out of me (or for me to be a complete doormat either!). Even with my flaws, though, I’m HERE and I do mean what I say. Plenty of you out there can vouch for the fact that I back it up - and I appreciate those of you that return the favor and back up your own words as well!

So, with that in mind, don‘t be afraid to call on me if you need a friend. I want to be as helpful and effective as possible, so feel free to tell me what you need (or don’t need lol) from me. I know that at the very least, I can keep working on trying to keep my blogs shorter (when possible! LOL), talk a little less, and work on my conciseness (I am such a work in progress!! LOL). And, I know that I will continue to use my gifts to blog, volunteer, listen, e-mail/call/IM friends who need someone to talk to, provide encouragement/counsel/aid, etc. I’ll keep trying to be the kind of friend that one can depend on for love, compassion, and support (just like I receive from many of you).

I guess all that’s left to say is “who’s with me?” Chad is saying the same thing. Are we all in this together? I know some of you already are!! There are a faithful few of you who I can consistently count on; the ones who always put their whole hearts into people (and you know who you are!!!). These are the people that back up their words with actions. They devote time, money, resources, and love to helping the broken and getting them through whatever they are struggling with. They know as well as I do that we need to give and do as much as we can. Alone we are one, but together we are many! The WHOLE body of Christ needs to network together in order to have maximum impact!! So, THANK YOU to my true family and friends who ALWAYS have my back; and the backs of others!! THANK YOU for always saying “yes” when I ask you to help me aid a friend (or even help me personally in any number of ways), give back to the community, etc. You are more than just the “mouth” of Jesus; you are His hands and feet. You’re going, doing, and caring!! I feel the urge to name some of you one by one, but I know you all are humble servants and I don’t want to embarrass you (or cause the less than humble people to give me grief if I didn‘t mention their name lol). You know who you are, and you have my infinite love and gratitude for all you do!

Grace and peace to all of you!! God bless you and may you be a blessing to others!

"Walk Your Own Path"

Be Responsible For Your Own Life,

Lead Your Life The Way You Wanted It To Be

You will sometimes meet someone you believe is a soul mate; you feel the connection on many levels, perhaps instantly. And as you get to know each other more, you begin to feel the connection deepen and you feel that you must have an arrangement with this person that predated this lifetime.

Do not assume, however, that this soul connection necessarily means that you are meant to be happily together for this lifetime. It may be that you are meant to be friends and allies, helping each other out. It may be that you are going to help each other in ways that even involve conflict and separation, but with an end result that is beneficial to you. It may be that you are going to learn some lesson from each other and then go your separate ways.


What you need to do with all relationships, including those that have that instant and deep connection, is let be. You need to allow all of life, including close relationships, flow and evolve. You need to let people be who they are, not what you want them to be. And above all, you must not try to control, push and prod, manipulate and orchestrate relationships.

Have the courage and the heart, the centeredness, to follow your own path, to be who you are and love being who you are, no matter what. Shine out and show us who you are, so that people who are looking for someone exactly like you can find you.

Do not allow setbacks or even major betrayals to dampen your shine and your being. In life's journey you will encounter much, narrow paths blocked by avalanches, forks in the road shrouded in fog, deep valleys of darkness and bright sunny days in meadows of golden poppies. It is all a part of life.


And as you walk your path, other people will join you for a time: a dear friend, a lover, a spouse, children and parents. And then they may go away. And through it all, the only constant is that you are you, that you have a core of truth within you and a path to walk, and if you allow your core of truth to tell you which fork in the road to take, if you allow that internal compass to tell you which mountain to climb, then you will do well indeed and have a fulfilling, interesting life.

If you go chasing after others, trying to make things be other than how they naturally are, then you will find yourself suddenly awakening in a deep forest without knowing where to turn. You will find yourself lost and confused, because you have lost touch with your own personal truth. And when this happens, you must just sit down in the forest, become very still, and return to yourself.


You must reach down and find yourself again before you continue walking, or else you will simply go around in circles, becoming more desperate and alone and lost. You are everything you need to be, just as you are, right now. You are the center of your own life. You are the beacon that shines and shows the way.

Be glad when others walk beside you, enjoy their company, connect as closely and deeply as you can, but always, always, shine your own light and walk your own path and allow them to do the same.

"Awakening Facts For Women"

Real Information For Women

Lets get to the POINT, every female want a man to be real and respect her as a women,Right. But yet they don't respect themselves,why i say that.... good question because the first thing that a women look at, is a male looks, that's the first thing she look at, then she look at how he dress. But a man do have to dress nice, that shows he care about his appearance ,and he have to look presentable if you know what i mean.

A women want a man to love her and only her with unconditional love but yet they don't love themselves. Cause if they love theirselves, they won't keep allowing men to get their heart broken countless amount of times even though they know the guy ain't know good. Just for the tittle that i've got a man, Well that's most females, Tell me why the female most of the time fall for the man first knowing that his feeling are not as strong as the women and they wonder why they always having bad relationship, Real talk a man going to treat you on how you carry your self when he first meet you.

A man going to judge you on what you wearing, when he FIRST meet you, For example if you wearing little shorts with small top or whatever the cast might be, the man is going to think damn she must want me to see it ,why else will she be showing it off and women always wonder why men treat you like you a piece of meat, the first impression is everything. Same to men first impression is everything that mean be up to part. Many women wonder why men cheat that's the big question right, from MY POINT OF VIEW....

1)AFTER THE THRILL OF THE CHASE IS GONE they START TAKING FEMALES 4 GRANTED AND THINKING THEY AIN'T going NOWHERE,which LEADS 2 them GIVING HER LESS ATTENTION.

2)GIRLS WITH LITTLE CLOTHES ATTRACT A lot of men, CAUSE they JUST WANT TO GET YOU IN BED OR whatever the cast might be ,But my question is, why the female wear little clothes any ways she must want them too look..but from a men prospective, they DON'T WANT there girls DRESSING LIKE THAT CAUSE they DoN'T WANT OTHER men TO THINK OR LOOK AT HER LIKE THAT.

3)NEITHER the woman or the man having sex MORE THAN ONE PERSON IS NOT OKAY IN MY PERSONAL POINT OF VIEW & IN GOD's LAW, BUT yet SOCIETY SAYS IT COOL IF a man DO IT AND GIRLS ARE HOEING IF THEY DO that,THAT'S JUST HOW IT IS FOR SOME odd REASONS.

4)some men STOP TALKING too GIRL CAUSE they WON'T LET them BRING HER TO BED, that's because SHE WASN'T WORTH BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH, AND SEX WAS THE ONLY THING the man FELT SHE WAS GOOD FOR(DON'T JUDGE ME ) i'am just stating the facts, that's not how i treat a women but HEY thats how it happen most of the time.

5)MOST GIRLS DO CHEAT ON there man (TRUST ME I KNOW) never happen too me cause i know how to please a women mentally and physically if u know what i mean..but if you JUST PLAY THAT LIL FRIEND ROLE, SEE IF that END UP happen ,that the same with a man.....THE SHYT MIGHT NOT SOUND GOOD BUT ITS DA TRUTH AND THAT'S WAT U WANTED to hear, this real talk...

So don't judge a man on how he look and how he dress to a certain point u know what i mean , first see if he really wanna get to know you as a person not just cause of your body. Any man can talk to countless amount of females and don't have a care in the world but it take a real man to stay with one female and love her unconditional and step up too the plate. Everybody talking bout swag and money they the one's that got the least of both.

Don't get me wrong it's good to have swag its another word of being difference in my eye's and its good to have money but i weather have Love then money any day. CAUSE any body can get money but not everybody can find LOVE.. I'am not talking to every female when i say this but sum...

Most men are DOG'S it's true but there a few good men out there. A women dont need to seek and find a man. GOD will send that mate/soul mate of a man your way, and it's the women to take on the dutie ... that if she see it right in her eye's sometime they pass on the one thats really rite for them, with out struggle there no progression, some time you got to go threw sum hard times just to see the light.

LIVE, LEARN, GROW..................

"I've learned that..!!!!"

What Life Had Taught Me...& What I've Learned From It

1.) I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

2.) I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back

3.) I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

4.) I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

5.) I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

6.) I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.

7.) I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to people that’s important. It’s what they do about it.

8.) I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

9.) I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

10.) I’ve learned that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think.

11.) I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

12.) I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you think you can’t.

13.) I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

14.) I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

15.) I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. (Amen to that!)

16.) I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

17.) I’ve learned that learning to forgive takes practice.

18.) I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don’t know how to show it.

19.) I’ve learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

20.) I’ve learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

21.) I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

22.) I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

23.) I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

24.) I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

25.) I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

26.) I’ve learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if she believed it.

27.) I’ve learned that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

28.) I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

29.) I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

30.) I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

31.)I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

32.) I’ve learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I’m forced to choose sides even when I don’t want to.

33.) I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

34.) I’ve learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

35.)I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

36.) I’ve learned that if you don’t want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.

37.) I’ve learned that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

38.) I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

39.) I’ve learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

40.) I’ve learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.

41.) I’ve learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.

42.) I’ve learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.

43.) I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.

44.) I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

45.) I’ve learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.

46.) I’ve learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.

47.) I’ve learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

48.) I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

49.) I’ve learned that although the word "love" can have many different meaning, it loses value when overly used.

50.) I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.

51.) I’ve learned that people you’ve meet have always a purpose in your life. Either he/she will teach you a lesson or you will teach him/her a lesson.

52.)I’ve learned that every problem has its own solution. Just always have FAITH.

53.) I’ve learned that there’s always a rainbow after a rain.

54.) I’ve learned that your SMILE means a lot to someone.

55.) I’ve learned that always think positive and see the positive side of a person to make your life happy.

56.) I’ve learned that Life is Simple, don’t make it too complicated.

57.) I’ve learned that we have always a choice and face the consequences of your choice either it’s positive or negative.

58.) I’ve learned that you cannot please everyone.

59.) I’ve learned that it’s ok to make a mistake and be stupid sometimes. In this you learn your lesson and don’t do it again. Once is enough but twice is too much…third time??? It’s Stupidity!

60.) I’ve learned that LIFE is a GIFT, so make the most of it. Enjoy every minute, every second of it.

"Trust & Trials"

LIFE IS A TEST AND A TRUST

The way you see your life shapes your life. How you define life determnes your destiny. Your perspective will influence how you invest your time, spend your money, use your talents and value your relationships.

If you were asked how you picture life, what image would come to your mind? That image would be your life metaphor. It is the view of life that you hold, consciously or unconsciously, in your mind. It is your description of how life works and what you expect from it.

Most people express their life metaphors through clothes, jewelry, cars, hairstyles, bmper stickers or even tattoos. Your unspoken life metaphor influences your life more than you realize. It determines your expectations, your values, your relationships, your goals, and your priorities.

God's view of life is: Life is a test, Life is a trust, and Life is a temporary assignment.
Life on earth is a test. God continually tests people's character, faith, obedience, love, integrity and loyalty.

Character is both developed and revealed by tests and all of life is a test. God constantly watches your response to people, problems, success, conflict, illness, disappointment and even the weather. God even watches the simplest actions such as when you open the door for others, when you pick up a piece of trash or when you are polite toward a clerk or waitress or janitor or even to the lowest level of your personality. You will be tested by major changes, delayed promises, impossible problems, unanswered prayers, undeserved criticism and even senseless tragedies.

A very important test is how you act when you cannot feel God's presence in your life. Sometimes God intentionally draws back and we do not sense his closeness. Every day is an important day and every second is a growth opportunity to deepen your character, to demonstrate love, or to depend on God. Some tests seem overwhelming, while others you do not even notice, but all of them have eternal implications.
The second God's view of life is a trust. Our time on earth and our energy, intelligence, opportunities, relationships and resources are all gifts from God that he has entrusted to our care and management. We are all stewards of whatever God gives us.

This concept of stewardship started with the recognition that God is the owner of everything and everyone on earth. We never own anything during our stay on earth. It was God's property before you arrived and God will loan it to someone else after you die.

So, you just get to enjoy it for a while.
The first job God gave humans was to manage and take care of God's "stuff" on earth. Everything we enjoy is to be treated as a trust that God has placed in our hands.

At the end of your life on earth you will be evaluated and rewarded according to how well you handled what God entrusted to you. It means that everything you do, even simple daily chores, has eternal implications. If you treat everything as a trust, God promises three rewards in eternity. First, you will be given God's affirmation. Next, you will receive a promotion and be given greater responsibility in eternity. Then, you will be honored with a celebration.

Most people fail to realize that money is both a test and a trust from God. God uses finances to teach us to trust him, and for many people, money is the greatest test of all. God watches how we use money to test how trustworthy we are. Hence, life is a test and a trust, and the more God gives you, the more responsible he expects you to be.

Verse to Remember: "The person who is trustworthy in very small matters is also trustworthy in great ones; and the person who is dishonest in very small matters is also dishonest in great ones." Luke 16:10

" FEAR THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING POOR... "

WE ALL FEAR THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING POOR...

Myths

Most poor are lazy and don't want to work.Most of the poor get welfare, so the aren't really suffering.Most of the poor are better off than the rest of us because the government pays them to lie around and have more babies. But we ordinary tax payers can't afford to have more kids because the government won't subsidize us like they do the "welfare queens."Families on welfare eat better than those of us who work for a living.

If they didn't buy all the junk food and steaks they do and managed their money better, they wouldn't be poor.FactsIn 1990, 60% of the poor in the U.S. were not able to work due to their age (too young or too old), disability, or the lack of jobs. All of these are circumstances clearly beyond the control of the individual.

Most poor citizens do not receive aid from the government, either because they are not eligible, not willing to apply, or do not know that they are eligible.In Alabama, only a minority of welfare recipients receive ANY cash aid at all. Among those who do receive AFDC payments, an average of $29 per child each month or $348 a year was paid (1990). Compared to the income tax deduction of $2,450 per child, it is clear that the middle class families have more government- supplied incentive to have kids than the poor do.

In fact, the fertility rate of women on welfare is less than the fertility rate of all U.S. women of child bearing age.The average Food Stamp allotment in 1990 was 79 cents a meal per person. For a poor person, no amount of "good management" can result in sufficient nutritious meals throughout the month while on Food Stamps. We imagine what we see someone buy on food stamps is what they buy every week, but most food stamp recipients do one big shopping trip a month and try to make it last through the month.Why do myths persist?

The media perpetuate mythic images of "welfare queens" by running the same tired stories, and presenting as the norm a black family with four kids, all conceived by different fathers and all of them born while the mother was on welfare.

The next time you see a welfare story in the newspaper or on TV, look critically at the images they are presenting to you. Absent are the laid-off workers, the sick and disabled, and the unemployed workers who are poor and need help.

We want to believe myths.

We are not mean-spirited people, but we all fear the possibility of being poor. By demonizing the poor, it allows us to believe that "We will never be poor, because we are NOT like THOSE people."

But in fact, we are. In a 25-year study of the American families done by the University of Michigan, at some moment in those years fully one-quarter of all families studied experienced poverty.Politicians profit from encouraging myths. When is the last time a politician got elected for telling a truth we did not want to hear?

In the case of welfare myths, politicians can balance the budget on the backs of the poor, and we will support this.

More Facts on Poverty

Most recipients of welfare are NOT black, contrary to our myths. While people of color are disproportionately poor in the U.S., they are not the majority of the poor, nor are they the majority of welfare recipients.

"Lessons in Life"

Something i have learned in life....

NOT ALL THINGS THAT YOU WANTED, THOUGH YOU WORKED HARD JUST TO HAVE IT,IS ALWAYS MEANT TO BE YOURS..SOMEHOW YOU ALSO LOSE...........BUT WHEN YOU LOST SOMEONE OR SOMETHING,THERE WILL COME A BETTER ONE THAT SURELY YOU DESERVE MORE THAN ANYTHING...

PATIENCE IS VIRTUE...BEST LESSON IVE LEARNED....."NEVER LET SOMEONE BE YOUR PRIORITY WHILE ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE JUST THEIR OPTION....SOMETIMES THE BEST WAY TO BE STRONG IS TO ADMIT THAT YOU ARE WEAK...THAT YOU CAN'T

DO EVERYTHING ON YOUR OWN....WHEN YOU ARE EXPERIENCING PAIN...DON'T IGNORE YOUR FEELINGS...FEEL THE PAIN UNTIL IT HURTS YOU NO MORE...REMIND YOURSELF THAT IT'S OKAY TO CRY BECAUSE WHEN THE STORM HAS PASSED YOU WILL NATURALLY EMERGE AS A STRONGER AND BETTER PERSON.......WHEN YOUVE FOUND A REASON TO WALK AWAY NEVER LOOK BACK JUST KEEP WALKIN.......IT'S BETTER GET LOST MOVING ON THAN TO GET STRUCK AND STRANDED BROKEN....

TRUST SHOULD BE LIKE THE FEELING OF A ONE YEAR OLD BABY...WHEN YOU THROW HIM IN THE AIR HE KNOWS YOU WILL NEVER LET HIM FALL.....SLEEPING IS A RELIEF....AN ESCAPE FROM THE TRUE WORLD....COZ WHO WOULD EVER WANT A DAY AWAKE WHEN REALITY IS FAR FROM WHAT THE HEART WANTS....SINCERITY IS A FRANKNESS OF HEART..WE FIND IT IN VERY FEW PEOPLE,AND WHAT WE USUALLY SEE IS ONLY A DELICATE DISSIMULATION TO GAIN THE CONFIDENCE OF OTHERS...

"OUR SPECIAL SOMEONE ARE THE SPICES OF OUR LIVES, WITH OUT THEM LIFE WOULD BE SO BLUNT!!!TOO BAD THEY HAPPEN TO BE TOO SPICY THAT OFTEN GET US TEARY-EYED.........SOMETIMES,LIFE HAS A CRUEL WAY OF PUTTING THINGS TOGETHER...MAYBE IT'S BETTER IF PEOPLE JUST GIVE UP WHEN THERE'S NO POINT IN FIGHTING FOR SOMETHING ANYMORE...

WHEN THE SHIP HAS FINALLY SAILED, ONLY A FOOL WOULD GO AFTER IT WHEN IT'S ALREADY MILES AWAY...BUT SOMETIMES, IT'S A LOT BETTER TO BE A FOOL TO GO AFTER WHAT WE WANT AND NEED RATHER THAN TO REGRET EVERYTHING IN THE END BECAUSE WE NEVER EVEN TRIED....-CAPT JACK SPARROW.....STAYING W/ SOMEONE YOU REALLY LIKE EVEN IF IT'S BETTER LETTING GO IS LIKE STANDING UNDER THE RAIN...IT'S FEELS GOOD BUT YOU KNOW IT WILL MAKE YOU SICK......

TWO OF THE HARDEST TESTS IN LIFE:

1) THE PATIENCE TO WAIT FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT....&

2) THE COURAGE TO ACCEPT THAT YOU'VE WAITED FOR NOTHING.......THE RAIN FALLS BECAUSE THE SKY CAN NO LONGER HANDLE IT'S HEAVINESS...JUST LIKE TEARS ....IT FALLS....BECAUSE THE HEART CAN NO LONGER HANDLE THE PAIN....

QUESTION...WHEN IS THE BEST TIME TO TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE HIM/HER.....

ANSWER:....BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE DOES....SMILE AT INSULTS...LAUGH AWAY ANGER & YOUR SOUL WILLFOREVER BE AT PEACE...REMEMBER THE LINE ON PRINCESS DIARIES?NO ONE CAN EVER HURT YOU W/O YOUR CONSENT....A NICE THOUGHT....

THOSE NIGHTS WHEN YOU CAN'T SLEEP...IT MIGHT BE BECAUSE YOU'RE AWAKE IN SOME ONE ELSE'S DREAMS...TAKE TIME TO LISTEN TO YOUR HEART SOMETIMES YOU NEED NOT TO ASK YOURSELF WHO YOU REALLY LOVE MOST BUT ASK YOURSELF WHO REALLY MAKES YOU HAPPY AND WHO MAKES YOU FEEL LOVED....

"Never Ever Doubt Your Worth"

I am worth a lot

Your Self-worth depends on how you value yourself.If you have a high respect in yourself you are considered a rare gem & great catch by the opposite gender.

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question "What kind of man are you looking for?

"She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking, "Do you really want to know?"Reluctantly, he said, "Yes."She began to expound...

"As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself.I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man...or woman for that matter.

I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'"The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I need something more.

I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation.

I don't need a simple-minded man. I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden.

I am looking forsomeone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him.

I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business.I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy.

God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself."When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face.

He said,"You are asking a lot.
"She replied, "I am worth a lot."

"Enhance Yourself By MOTIVATION"

ABC of motivation

A void negative sources, people, places, things and habits.

B elieve in yourself.

C onsider things from every angle.

D on't give up and don't give in.

E njoy life today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come.

F amily and friends are hidden treasures; enjoy their riches.

G ive more than you planned to.

H ang on to your dreams.

I gnore those who try to discourage you.

J ust do it.

K eep trying no matter how hard it seems, it will get easier.

L ove yourself first and most.

M ake it happen.

N ever lie, cheat or steal, always strike a fair deal.

O pen your eyes and see things as they really are.

P ractice makes perfect.

Q uitters never win and winners never quit.

R ead, study and learn about everything important in your life.

S top procrastinating.

T ake control of your own destiny.

U nderstand yourself in order to better understand others.

V isualize it.W ant it more than anything.

E X cellerate your efforts.

Y ou are unique of all God's creations, nothing can replace YOU.

Z ero in on your target and go for it!

"Peace Is Just Within Ourselves"

True Peace

The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of men when they realize their relationship, their oneness, with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize that at the center of the universe dwells Wakan-Tanka, and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us. This is the real peace, and the others are but reflections of this. The second peace is that which is made between two individuals, and the third is that which is made between two nations. But above all you should understand that there can never be peace between nations until there is first known that true peace, which, as I have often said, is within the souls of men.

5 Steps to Problem Solving

"Steps to Understanding and Intervention" that I think can be applied to any problem we depressives encounter in our recovery. You can download the worksheets (described in "Action" at www.lifespanpress.com).


Here are his steps:

Step 1: Clarification of Concerns

Questions to Consider: What are the specific behaviors of concern? When, where, and how often are the behaviors demonstrated?

Action: List the behavior of concern [we would say something like "suicidal thoughts"] and then list the specifics [when, where, how often this behavior occurs].

Step 2: Functional Behavior Assessment

Questions to Consider: What happens before and after the behaviors? What have the behaviors looked like over time? What stressors have had an impact on the behaviors?

Action: List behavior of concern in three words or less in a box labeled

B. list factor in box labeled "Setting Event" that contributed long terms to the behavior of concern [for us, that would be something like grew up in dysfunctional home--with everyone else on the planet].

Step 3: List in box A the event that come immediately before the behavior of concern.

Step : List in box C what happens immediately after the behavior. Once these steps are completed, look for patterns and potential points for intervention and note them under "Comments or Insights."

Step : Investigation of Causal Factors

Questions to Consider [some of these are more relevant to us than others]:

A) Medical/Developmental: Are there any undiagnosed medical or developmental difficulties?B)

Hearing/Vision: Are there any vision or hearing difficulties?C) Speech/Language: Are there any speech delays? Are there any difficulties with social interactions, communication, or play?D) Sensory/Motor: Are there any sensory, fine, or gross motor difficulties?E) Academic/Life Skills: Are there any delays in reading, math, or written language?F) Cognitive/Neuropsychological: Are there any suspected cognitive neuropsychological delays?G) Emotional/Psychiatric: Are there any emotional or psychiatric difficulties?H)

Other contributing causes: What is the family composition? Are there any particular family difficulties?

Are there other factors that could contribute to the person's difficulties? Based on the above information, what can you say about the person's behavior?

Is the behavior normal? What factors contribute to the behavior? What is the person's profile of strengths and weaknesses? What are the specific goals for the person?

What are some intervention strategies?

Action: List the factors (Medical/Developmental; Hearing/Vision; Speech/Language; Sensory/Motor; Academic/Life Skills; Cognitive/Neuropsychological; Emotional; Other Possible Factors) and list all possible explanations [again, these factors might be different when speaking about a person's depression].

Step 4: Profile Development and Planning

Questions to Consider: How is my child responding to the intervention?

Action: As you investigate more of the causes pertaining to [a person's depression], you will develop insights along the way. To build a theory as to why [you/someone else] demonstrates the behavior, you first start with your summary statement, and then modify these statements into more of a working theory. This theory is modified as new information is obtained and maybe changed continuously.

Step 5: Plan Implementation and Evaluation

Questions to Consider: Are there any adjustments that need to be made?
Actions: List the person's areas of interests and strengths, followed by the intervention. For example, if a person needs immediate feedback (like me) in order to sustain an activity (like blogging), then I should continue to blog. However, if a person is distracted or impeded by feedback, then she should pursue another venue, where there is little interaction or feedback of a product (i.e. blog post).


Then list the areas of need and growth and interventions. For example, a person like myself needs more alone time and play time so that I rebuild myself. As part of my intervention, I should integrate more play time into my schedule, and I should say no to additional projects that steal from that time.

"Acceptance Of True Self"

We are who we are

It's not important what people think of us, what is important is what we think of ourselves, be proud of who you are, don't let peoples malicious comments affect you, be stronger than they are and say, I am proud of who I am, what I do and what i stand for & it`s not for you to bring me down, you generally find that people who critisize, have something to hide themselves, remember, a wrongly placed comment can ruin many a life, physical wounds almost always heal, psychological wounds sometimes never do.

Just Say 'Yes' to the Moment

We should all learn how to slow down.

So what we do when we get anxious and insecure is we speed up. We get busy: we get addicted to email, we get addicted to being online, we get addicted to food and drugs, we get addicted to talking to other people--not just to communicate but just to keep busy. Buddhist practices offer a way of saying, Hey, come back over here, reconnect. The only way that you'll actually wake up and have some freedom is if you have the capacity and courage to stay with the vulnerability and the discomfort.

Meditation helps us to pay attention so that we can directly realize and trust the goodness that's there. We actually begin to recognize that who we are is awareness, who we are is love, and our sense of identity shifts in such a fundamental way that it actually challenges the small-self story.

What do you mean by "small-self"?

The perception that we are separate and deficient. One of the metaphors I always find helpful is that our being is like an ocean and we get identified with different waves, like different weather systems that go through, like we get identified with fear or clinging or certain thoughts and if we can recognize those waves but remember our oceanness, really remember who we are, remember the innate radiance of our mind, the tenderness, then we can be with the changing weather systems, the waves, but not get caught up in them, not lose sight of who we are.

One of the teachings I love the most from the Buddha is, "Our fear is great, but greater yet is the truth of our connectedness." So we can remember our belonging at any moment—even facing death—if we can remember the love that holds us. Then we can actually face living and dying and have something that's large enough to hold us.

One of the reasons I was so drawn to writing about radical acceptance is because we spend so many moments at war, and we do it in the ways we judge ourselves, we do it in the ways we blame others, we do it in the ways we feel it's our country against that country.

There is so much division in this world. So what is really the path of healing? It can begin in this moment, by embracing the life that's here. Because if we can begin to bring a sense of peace and care to the life inside us, naturally the circles widen to include other people. It's the way of the heart—if we can be kind towards ourselves we'll be kind towards others.

This conference is about fear, something you've written a lot about.

The biggest fear we have is that somewhere, we are failing or are going to fail. You can almost say that our personalities are in a large part a way of compensating for fear. We want to show to the world what would be acceptable and loveable. In doing so, we in some way disconnect from the aliveness and authenticity of who we are.

So I really feel like our path should be one of slowing down enough to re-embrace, re-connect with what we've pushed away. One of the simplest ways we can do that is just to intend to say "yes" to what we experience in the moment. I teach that a lot.

We can at any moment feel what's going on; just say "yes" to that. It's a practice of truthfulness, we're acknowledging what's real and saying, this is here and meaning that with some kindness and when we do that, when we accept what's in the moment, it actually taps us into the intelligence, the wisdom, the heart that allows us to act more wisely in the future.
One of the great psychologists, Carl Rogers, put it this way, "It wasn't until I accepted myself just as I was in this moment, that I was free to change." So it's a pre-condition to true transformation, is to accept ourselves in the moment.

Why are we so afraid to fail? Because we think failing means that our biggest fear [will be realized]: that we'll be rejected. And rejection is bad; it severs our belonging. So we do whatever we can to not have that happen.

If deep down we're feeling something's wrong with me, we can't really be intimate with another person. We can't take risks, we can't be creative, it binds our life. So when people start recognizing how much of their life has been imprisoned by that trance of unworthiness, just that recognition with it comes a sense of "Oh, it's possible not to live inside that." And it's very liberating.

When some people talk about accepting themselves they have this fear that they're condoning some bad behavior, or that if they accept themselves, that means they'll never improve. But the truth is, we're not saying, "It's OK that you did that bad thing."

All we're accepting is the actuality of our experience in the moment: I'm accepting this shame is here, I'm accepting this fear is here, I'm accepting this anger, I'm accepting that there's craving,

I'm accepting the truth just now, that I acted out of that craving and I ate too much. I'm accepting how bad I feel about that. But in the moment of accepting, we're not condoning. We're just acknowledging the truth of what's here with kindness. The reality is, if we can do that, it actually begins to free us so we can in the next moment, be a lot more wise.

Can you tell us about your own practice? Do you meditate every day?



Yes. I meditate 45 minutes in the morning and I catch-as-catch-can through the day.

You're very good at making it a priority.

Yeah, because it's a gift to the soul.

What I believe in for myself and for most of us is that we need to learn to pause more. That we race through the day, it's like we're living our life as if we're on our way to the next thing which means we get to the finish line—death—and we haven't really dropped in and touched what's here. So a lot of my inner training is to pause and reconnect, it means I come back into my body and come back into my life.

I think the two most powerful questions I ask myself are, "What is happening inside me right now?" and "Can I meet this with some kindness?" Just to keep stopping and doing that. Because if I can do that with my own body and heart, then I can show up in the same way and pause and really notice with another person, their vulnerability, that each one of us is scared in different ways. I mean we're all feeling the same stuff.

And also their goodness, like I can actually pause and sense that each of us wants to be happy, we want to love without holding back and we want to be free. So it helps me to pause and then move through the day with more awareness.

Does American culture pose particular challenges for Buddhists?

There's a growing number of people that are really waking up and cherishing waking up, people who want to be honest with what's happening and want to live in a genuinely compassionate, tender way. It's a challenging time in that it's very painful to see all this violence there is in the world. It's very painful to see how out of fear and greed and consumption we're destroying the earth.

A number of us won a Buddhist peace fellowship in Washington at the time we were going to war with Iraq because there's a recognition that to be committed to reverence for life, and not harming means that to take a stand in our world, that you can't separate our inner commitment to spirituality from our outer commitment to be part of the healing of the world.
And a number of us were arrested; I was arrested before the war started. But the commitment was not to be an anti-war movement that was strident and angry; it was to come from a place of genuine caring about the world and embody that. And so we actually, it was quite a respectful kind of process and it continues to be happening.

So when you ask me about being a Buddhist in the world today, it's not being a Buddhist, it's being a person that loves life and wants to wake up and I feel like, I have many friends in many different religions, we're all holding hands, wanting to wake up together.

Is activism a big part of your life?

Yeah, it is. I don't think of the spiritual path as something that's just on a cushion or in a cave. I feel like we live out our values and our love for life by waking up both in solitude and quiet and also by speaking our truths and doing whatever we can on the planet that'll help us move towards healing.