We Don't Feel Respected When...

"When we show our respect for other living things, they respond with respect for us."
To respect a person is not possible without knowing him; care and responsibility would be blind if they were not guided by knowledge.

*We are forced
*We are ignored
*We are threatened
*We feel imposed upon
*We feel intruded upon
*We feel judged or rejected
*We are not listened to
*We are lied to
*We are lied about
*We are not given reasonable explanations
*We are not asked for our opinions
*We are invalidated
*We are interrupted
*We are laughed at(especially when we are upset orin pain or some kind of trouble)
*We are not cared about
*We are mocked
*We are stereotyped
*We are underestimated
*We are not taken seriously
*Our feelings are not taken seriously
*Our preferences are not taken seriously
*Our dreams are not taken seriously
*Our ideas are not taken seriously
*Our needs are not acknowledgedand not taken seriously
*Our questions are not taken seriously
*Our questions are not answered or are evaded
*We are told that we wouldn't be able toto understand something (Note)
*We are not asked for our ideas
*Others make decisions about uswithout our input
*Others do not try to understand us
*Others make assumptions about us
*We are not asked what we think we need
*Others tell us what they think we need.
*We are not asked how we feel
*Others believe they know what is best for us
*Others believe they know us better than we know ourselves
*Our way of doing things is not accepted
*Our privacy is invaded or denied
*We feel betrayed
*We feel controlled.

Helping Your Child Become a Responsible Citizen

What Does "Strong Character" Mean?
Compassion
Honesty and Fairness
Self-discipline
Good Judgment
Respect for Others
Self-respect
Courage
Responsibility
Citizenship and Patriotism

Character is a set of qualities, or values, that shape our thoughts, actions, reactions and feelings.

People with strong character

*show compassion,
*are honest and fair,
*display self-discipline in setting and meeting goals,
*make good judgments,
*show respect to others,
*show courage in standing up for beliefs,
*have a strong sense of responsibility,
*are good citizens who are concerned for their community, and
*maintain self-respect.

*Compassion*

*Compassion, or empathy, means identifying with and being concerned about other people's feelings and needs. It provides the emotional root for caring about other people. It allows us to be understanding and tolerant of different points of views and beliefs, it makes us aware of the suffering of others, and it allows us to empathize with them or to feel their suffering as our own.

*Compassion also allows us to feel joy and excitement—rather than anger and despair—at other people's successes and achievements.

Babies may begin to cry when they hear other sounds of crying, and coo and laugh when they hear others making happy sounds. By the age of three, many children will make an effort to hug or comfort another child or a parent who seems upset. As children grow, compassion can guide their actions and behaviors in positive ways. They understand that by doing something wrong, they cause others pain or unhappiness.

We can promote compassion by helping our children to think about how others feel. For example, if your child says or does something hurtful to another child, help him* to focus his attention on the feelings of his victim by saying, for example, "How do you think Zack feels? Would you like to feel like that?" Children develop compassion by practicing acts of caring and kindness towards others. As adults, we need to emphasize the importance of helping others, giving others the benefit of the doubt and being open to differences.

What You Can Do

Talk about the point of view of others as you watch TV, read books or discuss other people with your child. For example, ask, "What do you think that character is feeling and thinking?"
Show care toward others, such as doing errands for sick neighbors or opening doors for others.
Give others the benefit of the doubt. If your child complains that a classmate deliberately pushed her down on the way to lunch, explain that sometimes when people are in a hurry, they don't watch where they're going—they don't mean to push or hurt anyone.
Be open to differences. If your child says "Our new neighbors dress funny," explain that people often wear clothes that reflect their cultures or native countries.

—Daddy, why is Grandma crying?
—She's very sad. One of her friends just died. Come sit with me. Do you remember how you felt when your gerbil, Whiskers, died?
—I felt sad and lonely.
—Well imagine how much worse Grandma must feel losing a friend. Maybe you can think of a way to help her.
—I could give her a hug...
—That's a great idea!

*Honesty and Fairness*

Simply put, honesty means being truthful with ourselves and with others. It means caring enough about others not to mislead them for personal benefit. It means facing up to our mistakes, even when we have to admit them to others or when they may get us into trouble.
Fairness means acting in a just way and making decisions, especially important ones, on the basis of evidence rather than prejudice. It means "playing by the rules" and standing up for the right of everyone to be treated equally and honestly.

To understand the importance of being honest and fair, children need to learn that living together in a family, community or even a nation depends on mutual trust. Without honesty and fairness, trusting each other becomes very difficult, and families—and societies—fall apart.
Words of caution: There is a big difference between being dishonest—lying or cheating—and "making things up," as children often do in fantasy play. If children are taught that not telling the truth is "a bad thing," some young children might assume that it is also a bad thing to pretend to be a princess or an astronaut. Although you should discourage your child from deliberately lying and cheating, you should also let him know that it is fine to role play and pretend.

What You Can Do

*Be a model of honest relations with others.
Discuss with your child what honesty is and is not. Point out, for example, that being honest doesn't mean telling someone you think he looks ugly. Kindness goes along with honesty.
—Dad, Why can't I choose what video to watch? It is not fair that Ramon gets to pick?
—Yes, it is fair, because you got to pick the video we watched last night. Now it is Ramon's turn.

Discuss fairness (chances are that your child will bring it up) in different situations. For example, how do we show fairness in our family? What does fairness mean to the community? What were standards of fairness in the past?
Talk about how you try to be fair in your life and work. What issues of justice have you wrestled with? Your adolescent will be particularly interested in talking with you about these things.

—Mom, why did you tell the cashier that she'd given you too much change? It was her mistake, so why didn't you just keep it.
—Because the money wasn't mine, and it would have been dishonest for me to keep it.

*Self-discipline*

*Self-discipline is the ability to set a realistic goal or make a plan—then stick with it. It is the ability to resist doing things that can hurt others or ourselves. It involves keeping promises and following through on commitments. It is the foundation of many other qualities of character.
Often self-discipline requires persistence and sticking to long-term commitments—putting off immediate pleasure for later fulfillment. It also includes dealing effectively with emotions, such as anger and envy, and developing patience.

*Learning self-discipline helps children regulate their behavior and gives them the willpower to make good decisions and choices. On the other hand, the failure to develop self-discipline leaves children wide open to destructive behavior. Without the ability to control or evaluate their impulses, they often dive headlong into harmful situations.

What You Can Do

Talk with your child about setting reachable goals. For example, help him break big tasks into little tasks that can be accomplished one at a time. Have the child pick a task and set a deadline for completing it. When the deadline has passed, check together to see if the task was completed.
Help your child build a sense of her competence. To do this, she needs experiences of success, no matter how small. This builds confidence and effort for the next time. Keep making the tasks just a little more challenging but doable.

—Who just called?
—It was Tyler, Dad. He wanted me to go with him to the video store to check out the new DVDs.
—What did you tell him?
—I said I couldn't, because you and I need to work on my science project for school.

*Good Judgment*

Children develop strong character by learning to think about and make sound judgments about what is right or wrong, good or bad. These are not always easy distinctions for adults to make, much less children.

For example, it can be difficult for a child to recognize the difference between acting bravely and acting recklessly. As parents, we can help by showing, through what we do as well as what we say, that it is important in such situations to think carefully and honestly about what should be done, carefully weighing how others will be affected by what we do.

Sometimes we get into trouble because we "just didn't think." We let our emotions lead us to actions that we regret later. Making good judgments requires skills in monitoring impulses, using reasoning to sort through feelings and facts, and thinking about the consequences of our actions.

Your child's ability to think and make sound judgments will improve as she matures. With age, however, it also may become easier for her to try to justify and make excuses for selfish or reckless behavior. However, if you have helped her develop strong habits of honesty, courage, responsibility and self-respect, your child will have the ability to see the flaws in her reasoning and be able to come to the right conclusion about what to do.

What You Can Do

-Teach your child to stop and think before acting on impulse.
-Teach your child to tell fact from feeling. Let him know that just because he feels strongly about something—such as hitting someone who made him angry—doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.
-Encourage your child to think about the consequences of her decisions.
-Tell her little stories about situations she might face and talk about actions she might take, who might be affected by her actions, what might happen because of her actions and what the best action might be.
-When your child has a problem with a rule, brainstorm together a list of possible reasons for the rule. This leads to greater understanding.

Remind your child to pay attention to the rules or codes that apply in each situation. For example, the rules for behaving in church are different from those for a football game.

—I got really mad because John wouldn't talk to me.
—What were you doing at the time?
—We were in line for lunch.
—Well, what's the rule about waiting in line?
—You aren't supposed to talk.
—Then John was doing the right thing, wasn't he?

*Respect for Others*

Respect for others is based on self-respect and is summed up in the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. It is the value that makes the world a more decent and civilized place.

People show respect in many ways. They speak and act civilly—avoiding insults, cruel remarks and rude or crude language. They are courteous and considerate of others, including family members and friends, and care about their rights, beliefs and well-being. They treat others fairly and as individuals, regardless of race, sex, age or ethnic group. They display tolerance for people who do not share their personal beliefs and likes—so long as those people do not harm others.

Research indicates that children learn to respect others when they are treated with respect themselves. Constant criticism of a child, negative comments about him and failure to praise his achievements can lead the child to be disrespectful to others. Treating children with respect pays large dividends both to families and to societies as a whole.

What You Can Do

Practice respectful ways of communicating. Show your child how to talk to others with respect.
Help your child to resolve conflicts nonviolently. When facing a conflict, encourage your child to do the following:

(1) Find out what the conflict is. For example, if your child is angry because his little brother barges into his room without knocking, help him to explain the conflict by using an "I" statement, such as "I feel angry when you come into my room without knocking."
(2) Next, suggest different ways he might resolve the conflict. He could say to his brother, "I know I can't always hear when I'm listening to music, so you knock really loud five times—if I don't answer, then open the door." Or, "If I don't answer your knock, slide a note under the door." Or, "Let's use our walkie talkies."
(3) Then have your child agree on one of the choices.
(4) Finally, have him make a plan to check whether the solution is working.

Teach your child to respect the valued traditions of your heritage. Talk about family customs for showing respect, for honoring elders and for helping the community. Encourage her to do these things.

—Kaylee, is that my new sweater you're wearing.
—Yeah, Mom. What's wrong? Doesn't it look OK with this skirt?
—How it looks on you isn't the point. You didn't ask me if you could borrow that sweater, did you?
—No, Mom. I guess I thought you wouldn't mind.
—Well, I do mind that you didn't ask first. That's not very respectful, is it?

*Self-respect*

*Self-respect means taking satisfaction in appropriate behavior and hard—won accomplishments. People with self-respect also respect others. They do not need to disparage others or build themselves up by bragging or exaggerating their abilities or talents. They do not need lots of money or power to feel good about themselves.

People who respect themselves view selfishness, loss of self-discipline, recklessness, cowardice and dishonesty as wrong and unworthy of them. They have inner strength and are unwilling to let others use or manipulate them. They know that showing patience or tolerance does not mean allowing others to mistreat them.

People with self-respect do not crumble when they fail. They accept mistakes as a part of life. As we help our children set high standards for themselves, we also need to let them know that failure is no embarrassment when they have done their best.

Teaching children self-respect, however, does not mean complimenting everything they do. They also need honest criticism from time to time. When we do criticize, we should focus on things they have done, not on them personally.

What You Can Do

Encourage your child to build a positive identity that focuses on her integrity and talents.
Emphasize that character is built upon the decisions and actions a person takes each day.
Work with your child to help him reach his full potential by encouraging him to develop his talents, set reachable goals and honor himself as a unique person.

Teach your child how to choose good values. Help her reason about what are worthy goals and what are proper means to reach those goals.

—Why so down, Charlie?
—We lost the game.
—Did you play a good game?
—Yeah, we played our hardest.
—There's no shame in losing a game when you've played your best and the other team just played better. Hold your head high, son!

*Courage*

*Courage is the ability to overcome fear in order to do what is right, even if it is difficult or risky.

*Courage can mean facing physical dangers, but it also can mean standing up for beliefs and making hard decisions on the basis of evidence rather than on what is the easy or popular thing to do. It means being neither reckless nor cowardly but facing up to our duties and responsibilities.
*Courage, however, does not mean never being afraid; and children should be told that there are times when it is all right to be frightened and to run away from danger. But they also need to learn how to face and overcome some fears, such as a fear of the dark.

What You Can Do

Coach your child on how to be brave. Praise him when he acts courageously (but never ridicule him for any reason—ridicule can have long-lasting effects on a child's self-confidence).

Discuss with your child how to say no. Sometimes children don't know how to say no to peers who ask them to do dangerous or risky things. After identifying ways that she might be tempted, teach your child a three-step process for self-protection:

Apply the "trouble" rule: Will this action break a law or rule?
Make a good decision—think carefully about the risks or possible consequences.
Act fast to avoid trouble, using options such as the following:

Say no!
Leave.
Make a joke.
Suggest something better to do.
Make an excuse such as, "My dad will get really mad."
Act shocked.
—Mom, some of the kids were smoking after school today. One of them offered me a cigarette.
—What did you do?
—I said no.
—Then what happened.
—Everybody laughed at me and called me a baby.
—So then what did you do?
—I just walked away.
—Good for you! That took a lot of courage, and I'm proud of you.

*Responsibility*

Being responsible means being dependable, keeping promises and honoring our commitments. It is accepting the consequences for what we say and do. It also means developing our potential.
People who are responsible don't make excuses for their actions or blame others when things go wrong. They think things through and use good judgment before they take action. They behave in ways that encourage others to trust them.

People who are responsible take charge of their lives. They make plans and set goals for nurturing their talents and skills. They are resilient in finding ways to overcome adversity. They make decisions, taking into account obligations to family and community.

Children need to learn that being part of a family and a community involves accepting responsibilities. When each of us acts responsibly, our families and communities will be stronger.

—I'm going to Mattie's house, Dad.
—Have you walked the dog?
—No. I'll do that when I get back.
—Casey, walking the dog is your responsibility. In this house, meeting our responsibilities comes first. Walk the dog, and then you can go to Mattie's.

What You Can Do

Make agreements with your child and expect him to follow through.

When things go wrong, help your child take responsibility for her part and make a plan to do things differently next time.

Encourage your child to find out more about the world and how his actions may affect others far away.

*Citizenship and Patriotism*

Citizenship requires doing our share for our community and our country. Being a good citizen means caring about the good of society and participating actively to make things better.
Research reveals that participating in community service programs and learning about the importance and value of serving others can be a powerful influence on positive character development.

Patriotism is an important part of good citizenship. Patriotism is love of and loyalty to our country. It involves honoring the democratic ideals on which the country is based and expecting elected officials to do the same, respecting and obeying its laws and honoring its flag and other symbols. It also involves accepting the responsibilities of good citizenship, such as keeping informed about national issues, voting, volunteering and serving the country in times of war.

What You Can Do

Take your child with you when you vote. Talk to him about the candidates, the offices they aspire to hold and their positions on key issues.
Participate in community-building activities, such as cleaning up parks and assisting with school activities.

Discuss citizenship with your child and find examples of what good citizens have done for their communities.

—Mom, where are you going?
—I'm going to a meeting. People who live on this block are getting together to plan how we can clean up that empty lot down the street and turn it into a playground.
—That would be great, Mom! But I thought Aunt Jen was coming over tonight.
—She's coming over tomorrow night instead. She understands it's important that I be at tonight's meeting. A playground down the street is just what our community and our family need, and I want to help make it happen.

Children learn about strong character when parents and other adults in their daily lives
set a good example through their own behavior and actions,
set and communicate high standards and clear expectations,
coach them on how to be responsible and kind, and
use literature to reinforce the values of strong character.

*Set a Good Example*

We are always teaching our children something by our words and our actions. They learn from seeing. They learn from hearing and from overhearing. They learn from us, from each other, from other adults in the community and by themselves.

Children share the values of their parents about the most important things in life. Our priorities and principles and our examples of good behavior can teach our children to take the high road when other roads look tempting.

Remember that children do not learn the values that make up strong character simply by being told about them. They learn by seeing the people around them act on and uphold those values in their daily lives. In our daily lives, we can show our children that we respect others. We can show them our compassion and concern when others are suffering, and our own self-discipline, courage and honesty as we make difficult decisions. How we conduct our everyday activities can show our children that we always try to do our best to serve our families, communities and country.

The way that we view money and material goods also can mold our children's character. If we see our self-worth and the worth of others in terms of cars, homes, furniture, nice clothes and other possessions, our children are likely to develop these attitudes as well. Of course, it is important to meet our children's needs, but it is also important to help them understand the difference between their needs and their wants. The expensive jacket that your child has to have may be OK—if you can afford it.

Finally, we need to be consistent in upholding the values we want our children to respect and not present them with conflicting values. We may tell our children that cheating is wrong, for example, yet brag to a neighbor about avoiding paying taxes. We may say that rudeness to others is unacceptable, yet laugh when we see that behavior on a favorite TV show.

—Daddy, why are you leaving that note on the garbage can?
—There's broken glass inside, Matthew, and I don't want the garbage collectors to get hurt. I'm warning them about the glass.
—Are they your friends?
—No. I don't know them, but I still don't want them to get hurt.

*Set High Standards and Clear Expectations*

Some parents set low standards for their children, or do not hold their children to the standards they set. Parents may do this because they think that expecting too much of a child will harm his self-confidence. However, research shows that the opposite is true. A child builds self-confidence by trying (with guidance) to meet high standards, even when he has to struggle to do so.
Parents do not always make their standards for behavior clear to their children. It is not enough to mention your expectations once or twice. Remember that children grow and change so fast that they can easily misunderstand or forget what you have told them. Their understanding of the world is developing almost constantly and their "new" minds need to be reminded of your expectations. Because of this, you need to repeat your guidelines often and to do so in a way that makes sense as your child changes and develops.

—Dad, nobody's going to see inside the model's wing. Why do you work so hard with all those little pieces?
—Because that's the right way to build the plane, Martha. It makes the wing strong when the plane flies, and that's more important than what people see. I want to make the best plane I can.

Do you want to help?

Words of caution: Your expectations must be appropriate for your child's age and stages of mental, emotional, social and physical development. For example, it's not appropriate to tell an infant not to cry and expect him to obey. Likewise, it's not appropriate to expect a 3-year-old to sit still for hours or for a 13-year-old not to worry about how she looks. Pay attention to what your child can do, start there and help her learn skills to move forward. Be gentle but firm in your expectations.

*Coach *

Remember how you learned to drive or cook? You practiced while someone coached you, reminding you what to do until you were able to coach yourself and then, eventually, do it automatically.

Children learn values much the same way. They practice different kinds of behavior, while, you, as coach, help focus their attention on what is important and on fine-tuning important skills. You support them with your praise, encouragement and gentle reminders.

If you don't coach your child, she will find her coaches elsewhere and be guided by the values of the media, her peers and anyone else who captures her interest.

So, step up to the plate, don't be afraid and help your child learn how to be a good person, step by step.

—Paul, have you written a thank-you note to your aunt and uncle for the birthday present they sent?
—No, but I told them that I liked it when they gave it to me.
—Well, that's a start, but they were nice enough to take the time to buy you a gift, so you need to show them that you appreciate it. Here, you sit with me and write your note to them while I write one to Ms. Miller—remember how she stayed to help me clean up after your birthday party?

*Use Literature*

Literature can be a very powerful teaching tool. In fact, people in stories, poems and plays can influence children almost as much as the real people who read with them. Therefore, reading to and with children, encouraging older children to read on their own and talking with children about the books they read are important ways to help children learn about and develop the values of strong character and good citizenship.

*Asking Questions to Guide Discussions*

Use questions such as the following to help your child think about the values of stories:

MotivationHow did the people in the story act?
Did they have good or bad motives?Who were the heroes?
Why were they heroes?
Were there villains?
Why were they villains?
JudgmentDid the people make good decisions?
Why or why not?

Action

How did the people carry out their decisions?
What kinds of steps did they take? Were there obstacles?
How did they respond to the obstacles?

*Sensitivity*

Did the people think about the welfare of others?Did the story have a good or bad ending? For whom was it good? For whom was it bad?How could the story have turned out better for everyone?
Choosing Books
Choosing which books to use for character development can take some time and effort. Many good selections are available, including fiction and nonfiction books and books of poems, folk tales, fables and plays.

There are excellent modern stories, as well as timeless classics. There is also a growing number of books that allow children to explore values across various cultures and countries. For lists of books to read to and with your child, see Books That Can Support Character Development on pages of this booklet. For more titles or additional help in choosing books, talk with your local or school librarian.

Words of caution: Although the moral theme of a story, nonfiction book, play or poem may be very clear to us, it is not always so to children. Always talk with your child about what she is reading to see how well she understands its theme or message. Be patient and listen carefully to your child's ideas. If her ideas are too far off the mark, talk with her about how she arrived at them—perhaps she misunderstood a word or is missing some important piece of information. Reread parts of the story with her and talk about the message.

For more information about reading aloud with your children, see Helping Your Child Become a Reader.
—What did you think about the ant letting the grasshopper come stay with him over the winter?
—Well, it was nice of him. He was kind, and it was good that he wanted to help the grasshopper.
—But what about the grasshopper? Shouldn't he have prepared for the winter, as the ant did?
—Sure, but sometimes we don't do things that we should. I'll bet he learned a lesson, though. I'll bet he gets ready for next winter.

What do you know about pornography addiction?

Pornography Addiction

What are the result of PORNOGRAPHY in the society:

Open our eyes & analyze the true problems that we are encoutering in our daily lives.

1.PORNO in the net is accesible by anyone including the young,we should be responsible enough to in protecting our future.If you are an ordinary civilian you can contribute in preventing by not posing any indecent materials in the net.If everyone do this we can solve the root of our one major problems in the society.

Porno=crime

Porno=molestation/child abuse

Porno=unfaithfulness,betrayal,adultery

Porno=corruption

Porno=cheating

Porno=stealing

Porno=poverty

Porno=unhealthy lifestyle

Porno=poor moral,low self-esteem

Porno=pollutes our mind

Porno=greediness

Porno=exploiting

Porno-no fear in GOD

START the changed within in ourselves & we will make a big difference.

To be able to fix the problems in the society we must seek the solution & know what is the root of the problems of the society.Not just giving remedy in our dying future.Small act can make a big difference.

NO TO PORNOGRAPHY,NUDE IS NOT AN ART WHEN IT IS EXPLOITED...

2.If there is no market there will be no producer,if there is no merchandise there will be no buyer.

ALL I CAN SAY IS SEEK YOUR CONSCIENCE & IT WILL GUIDE YOU TO DO THE RIGHT THING!!!

" IF WE LIVE iN GOD,GOD WILL LIVE iN US."

What is Sex Addiction?

There are good "sex addiction" tests all over the web that can help you determine if you are addicted to sex in some form. We are not going to attempt to reproduce those here, but will offer this simple definition and challenge:

If your life is being controlled by your sexual desires and activities, instead of YOU being in control of them, then you have a sexual addiction.

Sex Addiction vs. Pornography Addiction:

Far and away the largest subset of men who are dealing with sexual addiction are dealing specifically with Internet pornography addiction. The Internet has brought many, many good things to our lives--but it has also enabled the anonymous, always-on, and affordable (often free) access to pornography.

If you sent a bottle of vodka to every home in America every week for a year, you would no doubt have a whole wave of alchoholics. The Internet has created a wave of pornography addicts with its pervasive porn delivery mechanism.

If you are a Christian man who is in this group, help yourself by starting the Pure Online program now and not putting it off another day.

Overcoming Pornography & Sex Addiction

Can I get help for my addiction? How do I get help? What specifically, can I do?

Sexual addiction and porn addiction are difficult topics to discuss, difficult to diagnose, and even more difficult to remove. One of the elements that makes sexual sin difficult to deal with in the life of a Christian man is that it is often covered by a layer of secrecy and shame.

Despite these difficulties, sexual sin can be conquered. If you desire to change, God can heal and bring restoration.

What do you need to do to recover from sexual sin?

There are many ways that men have successfully dealt with sexual sin in their lives. Most often, breaking a porn addiction involves some combination of God, real-world accountability, the incorporation of new disciplines, counseling, and hard work.

What are the key components in breaking addiction?

Clearly define the problem.One common element that we believe must be present in any recovery program is a clear definition of the problem. This includes gaining an understanding of how sexual addiction starts, how it is fueled, and the impact it has on us and the people we love.
Start with a Biblical foundation.It is vital for a Christian man that the solution be authored from a foundation that is Bible-based.

Sexuality and sprituality are tightly linked and trying to solve one without the other will prove futile. Understanding the problem from a biblical perspective will allow you to put in place a solution that is also centered around your faith.

Have a plan.No recovery program can remove sexual addiction overnight. Nor can any one plan solve every different kind of sexual addiction in every kind of man. But, for a plan to work, we believe that it must have clear, concise recovery steps that the participant can follow.

Take action.You won't finish something that you are afraid to start. Often the one thing that prevents a guy from getting help is that he has to tell someone he needs help. That process of disclosure is often perceived to be too painful, and so the problem just continues--and often escalates.

So whatever you do, find a course of action that you are able to start quickly--and in a confidential setting. Just like any cancer, early treatment can often mean better, faster, more thorough recovery.

"Miracles do happen in our daily lives even in the most simplest way,learn to appreciate small blessings bec. it will lead us to great miracles."

Miracles do happen when you least expected!

A miracle, derived from the old Latin word miraculum meaning "something wonderful", is a striking interposition of divine intervention by a supernatural being in the universe by which the ordinary course and operation of Nature is overruled, suspended, or modified. Although many religious texts and people confirm witnessing or prophesying various events which they refer to as "miraculous", it is disputed whether there are scientifically confirmed occurrences of miracles[1]. People in different faiths have substantially different definitions of the word "miracle". Even within a specific religion there is often more than one usage of the term.
Sometimes the term "miracle" may refer to the action of a supernatural being that is not a god. Thus, the term "divine intervention", by contrast, would refer specifically to the direct involvement of a deity.
In casual usage, "miracle" may also refer to any statistically unlikely but beneficial event, (such as the survival of a natural disaster) or even to anything which is regarded as "wonderful" regardless of its likelihood, such as birth. Other miracles might be: survival of a fatal illness, escaping a life threatening situation or 'beating the odds'

Happily Ever After: It Can Happen To You!

"LOVE can literally move mountains!Just believe,listen to what your hearts dictates you could never go wrong."Love can do MIRACLES

We saw an enchanting movie today. It reminded us again that people fall in love and stay in love for a lifetime. Fairy tales do come true, in life and in love. It can happen to you. You can live happily ever after.The movie we saw was entitled, Enchanted. It lived up to its title. It was enticing, engaging, bewitching, fascinating, charming and delightful—just like your heart feels when you are in love. The movie was a reflection of true love for many in love, and it reminds you that sometimes, suddenly and out of nowhere, you fall in love! And it also reminds you that sometimes you thought you loved someone else, only to discover that it was really another that captured your heart. Following what your heart tells you is the only path to true love.It is our sincere belief that people have an innate need to love and to be in love. Some of us spend time searching for love endlessly, and never find it. Others amongst us search for love, find it, and then discover that it was not true love. And still others search for love and find it – and it lasts a lifetime. These are the ones who fall in love “happily ever after.”There is another category of love – those who did not seek it, but suddenly, and out of nowhere, find themselves in love! They didn’t go looking for it but they found it nonetheless. But love has a way of finding people from time to time and when that happens – look out! Sparks fly, fireworks go off, the moon shines brighter, and the human heart pounds out a tune that says, I am in love! I am in love! I am in love! They don’t know what hit them. They are smitten by love. They have what we like to call, “Enchanted Love.”You will recall similar stories where the glass slipper fits the foot of the lovely maiden just before the stroke of midnight. Well, the movie Enchanted does not disappoint. In the end, the glass slipper fits a lovely lady and all is well with the world. All is well with love. Fairy tales do come true in life and love It can happen to you! And when it does it is enchanting!True love works this way as well. Sometimes, you become convinced that true love will never come your way. You search the world over, but alas, true love for you is elusive. It hides from you. It disguises itself as love, but it proves to be only an imitator or an imposter. And then suddenly and out of nowhere, you are in love! You have enchanted love. You have lasting love.We worry from time to time that people today do not believe that love with someone else can last a lifetime. But you know what, it can. And it does. People fall in love and the love they share lasts forever. People in love really do live happily ever after. Of that you can be sure. Frankly, we have grown weary of the so-called “experts” who believe that love and marriage are old fashioned. We are tired of the prognosticators who on a daily basis proclaim that love for a single person that lasts a lifetime is not possible anymore. In our research over the past 25+ years in the USA and around the world we have seen too much evidence to the contrary. The successfully married couples we interviewed 25 years ago say the same things as the successfully married couples we interview today.

True love crosses the generational barriers.

When you fall in love, truly fall in love; you feel it in your heart and in your soul.

The feelings are unmistakable.

They are undeniable.

Real love is not a secret.

Real love does not disguise itself.

Real love can last forever.

And contrary to the naysayers too prevalent in our society today, most people truly in love share that love for a lifetime. They do, indeed, live happily ever after.

Fairy tales do come true in life and love. It can happen to you.

Sexcitement - How to Keep Your Sex Life Exciting

Add spice to your sex life without extraneous and artificial stimulants. Just explore and vary your intimate moments.

The secret of exciting sex lies in the mind. It is the mind that makes and keeps it exciting. Seductive externals play a secondary part. Every woman cannot be a Angelina Jolie. But any woman can try to be exciting. Women who have a sparkling selfconcept, with varied interests, and are not passive are peppy. They are exciting in life as well as in love.

Sex can be exciting and a lot of fun. Women looking to spark their sex lives must realise that there are few people who are at peak performance all the time, in every situation. Expecting sexual relations to be super every time is expecting a full moon every night. This does not happen. However, variety is possible and marital sex can be saved from becoming boring. The most important thing is to look upon it as a game. Sporting sex needs stimuli for the senses, variations, timing, and locations, and changes in conversation and articulation.

Animals have a lesson to teach. Though devoid of language, they do not make love in silence. They express their excitement in many ways. They articulate their joy in cries, grunts and exciting, joyful sounds. These expressions give vent to their happiness. Take your cue from them. Talk sex with your partner. It increases intimacy and enriches your love life. Change the menu! Happy couples do not eat the same food in the same room. They change. It may be a TV dinner in one room, a hurried snack for breakfast, or a quiet dinner in the dining room. This is another cue! Apply the variation ploy.

The wife who desires her husband passionately knows that she will pay the price for the notion that sexual happiness in marriage just comes naturally. The marital love and sex come spontaneously and impulsively without any effort. Routine takes its toll. One couple I know are both working. The husband is so engrossed to prove himself occupationally every day that he is reluctant to prove himself as marital lover at night. He waits for his wife to turn him on, but she waits for his initiative.

The working wife too is so busy proving herself as an efficient worker that she has little energy left for being seductive. The result is a stalemate. A stimulating sex life is important to such a couple. They need, at least periodically, to let their sexual activities have priority on their time, energy, and planning. They must find a slot for sex.

There are good ways to follow. Some wives do this by having a special day! Others locate a "lover's lane." Some try the bacK seat of the car for old time's sake! One couple has named a room in the house linked with sexual relations. They know "secrets" are a source of thrills and excitement in sex life. They mention the code name, look at each other, the spark ignites, and off they go to their love nest.

For some couples, this may include even closets, as well as the front and back yards. This takes effort, but it breaks monotony as it raises expectations.

SHARE FANTASIES

Talk the trick. Have a code. One wife asks "What would you like special for dinner (sex) tonight?" Husband loves her initiative if she asks, "Is there an important committee meeting today?" Sexual unions are top experience on occasion. They can also be physically rough or even bland, and sometimes unsatisfying. Do not lose sight of its variations.

Practical couples know that growing sexually is as difficult and as joyous as growth in any other area of marriage. To grow, both partners must know what the other wants, likes, and does not. Mind-reading is out. It must be a new ball game, a new session. When you explore each other, offer and solicit raw data on what feels good and bad, to express desires and make requests, then new avenues of sexual pleasure open up.

One husband may like his wife to explore his penile territory. Another may love her nibbling his nipples. She may love tickling over her navel region. Only open communication can result in exploration and the resultant joy. Recapturing a memorable moment adds warmth to sexual relations. It may also suggest specific settings which were once (and may again be) stimulating. The more you explore, the more you discover. And the more you travel, the more you see.

Sharing fantasies can be a source of new sensual pleasures and possibilities. Fantasies of sexual activities which one would never think of really doing are often stimulating in themselves. Some couples find relating fantasies during intercourse to be stimulating. Other mental pictures may prove enticing enough to actually try out!

The range of sexual stimuli you can experience together is limitless. It includes movies, books and tapes with similar content. Sexy clothing for both spouses is not uncommon, but one should not assume that he or she knows what the other will consider sexy. A push-up bra may excite the husband while the wife may not think much of it.

SEXUAL FOREPLAY

When was the last time you showered together? Or explored each other's bodies tenderly through a perfumed massage? Have you told your husband how you like your breasts caressed? Firmly grasped? Softly stroked? And the nipples - should they be kissed, licked, or bitten? And does this vary from early foreplay to after intercourse?

This is exciting as sexuality is tied with love messages. A note with "I love you" can open floodgates of feeling. This is symbolic but highly exciting. The goal for both is to have more sexual fun, in more loving closeness. Sex is a game played between two partners. Yet, couples vary in their capacities to appreciate sex and in their feelings as to what is exciting. The only way to get it going is to make it a two-way lane. Inject novelty. One wife realised that she made every effort to plan off-beat recreation for the family, but never thought of herself as a sexual partner. Awareness is needed to begin changing the sexual scenario.

A sensitive and eager wife finds her own ways to avoid the goody groove. One found that changing the lighting in the bedroom gave her and her husband a newness which they enjoyed.

DISCOVER NOVELTIES

One husband may like to undress his wife tenderly bit by bit. Another may like her to enter the bedroom topless. Does the wife know it? Or does she persist with the conventional way?

Exciting sex on a healthy basis is possible where there is mutual trust empathy. One is stimulated by new words, new gestures, fresh sequences. But one must be reasonably sure that these novelties are mutually pleasurable.

Experimentation and variety become tiresome unless partners find ways that put them in closer touch with their own and their partner's wants and wishes. Each needs to tune in on one's own and partner's thoughts, feelings and actions to work at achieving and maintaining communication. The aim is to experiment with the 'emotional as well as the physical. The goal is reaching the gold mine of hidden happiness. One easy way is by simply touching each other and exchanging information about what is most pleasing.

Discover and try new positions. New techniques for mutual arousal, of feelings about what is happening and modifications suiting individual requirements and open those portals of love paradise earlier hidden from each other. Love becomes mutually shared and enjoyed. It promotes joy and more love. It builds on and keeps building trust, respect, concern, tenderness, caring. It enriches life.

Communication is unlikely to lead to boredom. It leads to emotional delight and sexual intimacy. The more natural you make your sexual relationship, the better it becomes. Express yourself. Make your partner express himself or herself. This mutual sensitivity to the needs and desires of your partner is a way of keeping marital sex from becoming lacklustre. You can make life sexciting!

Staying & Looking Sexy for a more seductive married life

"Ten Tips to Maintain Your Bridal Figure Long After the Wedding"

The shimmering sun peeks lazily through the tiny window over clouds as white as your gown and as pure as your dreams of a new life with your husband. The plane touches down gently, returning you both from your honeymoon and delivering you back into reality. Gone are the mile-long buffet tables and hours-long lounges in the sun. No more will caution (or your body) subjugate its will to your whims without taxing your vital statistics for the tab.
If you are like many newlywed women today, preventing the seemingly traditional weight gain that accompanies the beginning of marriage is a major concern. Below we offer ten simple, conventional wisdom tips that are touted by experts as sound, safe, effective means of keeping those unwanted pounds off. As always, please consult your physician before starting any diet or exercise program. After all, everyone is unique and it is your health!

Not The Time To Relax

1) Do not allow the videos and photographs of that beautiful, elegant, svelte angel of a bride lull you into old habits that worked against your goal. Avoid comfortable temptations to indulge regularly in your favorite junk food and to relax into a sedentary lifestyle. Eat sensibly and live actively and you will continue to mirror the beauty you feel inside.

Do Your Homework

2) Continue to take advantage of living in the information age and do the work necessary to learn about your body. If your last full physical was when you were 12, have yourself looked over by a professional to assess your current state of body. Identifying what activities in your life lead to your strengths and weaknesses will bring you the answers to some of your most personal physical questions.

Sensible Goals, Livable Schedule

3) Only set goals and a schedule to reach them if you are comfortable with the changes they require. While we all resist change, also true is that consequence follows action. If your benchmarks are too high, you will slip. This may lead you down a path of depression and regression to the comfort of vices. Being realistic with yourself when you put together your eating and exercise routines will greatly increase your chances of keeping yourself on track.

Low Fat, Low Calorie

4) Today’s conventional catchphrase of “Low-Fat, Reduced Calorie” can be as simple as it sounds. Our multicultural society offers many delicacies to tempt the most determined palate. Your mission is to learn what menu works with your body. Honestly adding up the calories in every little junk food snack or fast food stop you take each day will uncover the source of much unwanted weight. Watching for these cravings and understanding how they will work against your goals will help your resolve. In essence, avoid the high-fat, ton of calorie days of your youth.
Crash Diet Fasting

5) Fasting and cigarettes (or other non-nutritious alternatives) are not the answer. Plan your days so that you are able to eat many small meals of healthy low-fat foods. Start with an appropriate, but robust breakfast and follow that up throughout the day with smart snacks to maintain your energy level and allow your metabolism time to burn the calories. If you simply don’t eat anything, you are shutting down your digestive system. Instead, drink liquids, particularly water, and spread out your calorie consumption and you will allow your body to do its job.

Dancing With Cravings

6) Cravings are as unpredictable as the weather. You never know when and you never know for what. If you find that suddenly you wouldn’t mind a quick drive thru snack at one of the dozen or so you pass in your travels, try just driving past. Allow yourself a pause to see if you’re feeling real hunger and if so, find an intelligent alternative to the value menu and the junk food aisle. Develop the habit of preparing a healthy travel snack pack for errand runs and you will keep your bodily rhythm despite unpredictability.

The Language Of Your Metabolism

7) Learn your metabolism and take the necessary steps to maximize your fat burning potential. If you feel bloated after a certain type of meal, it may mean you’re consuming too many carbohydrates for your system to utilize and the excess is being stored in your trouble areas. It may not be the content of the meal that is causing problems, but the amount that you are eating. Find your metabolic medium and adjust your eating accordingly.

Inactivity Is The Enemy

8) Movement is essential in your quest for body maintenance. Developing habits such as walking around the block, rollerblading through the park, bicycling to the store, or participating in a sport will keep your muscles tone and your metabolism running well. Avoid sedentary habits. If not possible due to your occupation or another responsibility, counteract the effects by stepping up your activity during other times of the day.

Build Muscle to Burn Fat

9) Increasing your metabolic rate can help to burn off the excess calories your body cannot process into energy. A straightforward way of doing this is by building muscle mass. It is a medical fact that muscle tissue burns calories much faster than the rest of your anatomy. Strength training such as weight lifting with proper stretching for flexibility builds muscle mass and speeds your metabolism. Research exercises that work well with you and your lifestyle.

Don’t Go It Alone

10) Set your goals, schedule your exercise and diet to meet them, and then enlist help. Utilize peer pressure to your advantage. It may be your husband, a relative, or close friend. You are looking for someone who empathizes with your motives and will be supportive of your actions. They can help you to maintain your schedule and keep an eye on your goal. Another good approach would be to join or start a support group for others seeking to improve their health and fitness.

These basic tips will help you to avoid the post-wedding weight gain you fear. Remember that your body and your goals are unique and only you can make it all happen the way you envision.

Be honest with your initial assessment of yourself, be sensible when you set eating and workout goals, and be diligent in following through and both your physical and photographic presence will continue to match for many years.