"MONOGAMY"

Lets talk monogamy... Who makes the rules?

Before we start lets define the usage of the word sex in this blog.
Sex – a physical act intended to bring pleasure.

Not this definition:

Sex – an act between two people in love, used to express intimacy, closeness, adoration, admiration, the joining of two souls, I want you to complete me and be my love moon, blah blah blah.

Next let me prepare you and your mind for this blog.
I do not accept any beliefs, thoughts or rules just because I am "supposed to". I want to understand everything I do at a factual and logical level. You are going to have to put yourself in that place as well if you really want to get your brain going with this blog and generate some deep discussion.

Reasons like: "just because", "that's way its supposed to be", "that's just how the world works", "that's how I was raised", "that's how people in my city think", and "I don't know", aren't acceptable reasons.

If you are 1 week before your period, do not read this blog. You will be blinded by emotions and they will override any logical thinking your brain is capable of, go cry because your shoes are black and come back next week.

If you are not a confident person, then this blog is not for you. Without true self confidence, this topic will always be off limits, because you live a life of thinking you aren't good enough and someone else has more to offer. Gross.

Last, this is not a religious blog and all statements and thoughts are made outside of the context of the bible and biblical/religious history. If you base the discussion on the bible then it states husband and wife only, but that's not as much fun to write or read about so we will take the secular approach.

Ok, now lets discuss.

Why is it that sex is always such a point of contention in commited relationships? Someone is cheating on someone, someone is fantasizing about someone else, someone is hiding a secret from their partner about someone they saw recently, etc etc.

Men, after a certain period of time being with the same woman and being told you cant be with anyone else, your mind begins to wonder. Wonder what someone new would feel like, wonder what the chase would feel like, wonder what a dog collar would feel like around your neck while someone feeds you dog biscuits and only refers to you as Fido, wonder what some "strange" would be like after 5 years of the same thing.

I would never say that all men act on these urges, but I will say all men have these thoughts and most men I know have acted on them. Save the morality speech, I never condoned it, just stated facts. Plus I am sure your man has never done or thought about those things… He's different, trust me.

Ask one hundred husbands if they could have a night of wild, hot sex with a beautiful stranger with no risk of getting caught or any guilt associated, how do you think the majority would answer? If they did, the wife didnt find out, it didnt make him love or adore her any less, then would it really matter?

Women, after a certain period of time your mind might wonder about what it would feel like to have new exciting sex with a Latin dancer who doesnt button the top three buttons on his shirt and continually drips sweat on you while he is drilling you like an oil rig, what it would feel like for the danger associated with sleeping with a bad boy, one that wouldnt be sweet to you and would fuck you like a 16 dollar whore, what it would feel like for a millionaire to sweep you away on his yacht for a weekend, the two of you sipping champagne and making love on piles of 100 dollar bills and caviar, what it would be like to feel that nervousness again, the kind you feel when you get naked with someone for the first time.

Why is it that we take the most natural thing on earth besides breathing and eating and make it so off limits and taboo? Because society says we should? Because the media says we should? Because that's what our wedding vows said? Because that's what our parents did?

Some of the possible reasons/answers to that question:

1. Because your spouse is yours and yours only, no one else can touch them. My question back to you is, why? Who says? Because if I dont know who says that rule then its highly unlikely I am going to listen to the mystery source dictating the rules.

2. Because fooling around could lead to falling in love and leaving your spouse. My answer to that is if fooling around one night with someone other than your spouse is enough to make you abandon your entire relationship then it was going to fail anyway. Might as well happen now than drag on your bullshit relationship for 5 more year.

3. Because what if you experience someone that is better in bed and gets you curious and wanting to explore more. If you experience that, tell your spouse and the two of you work on that technique or sex life.

If after 5 years of just pleasing each other someone new shows you some tricks then either you two need to get in bed more often or, great, we learned new ways to please each other.

Not, "oooh that was good, let me leave my spouse and go try that again".
The list of reasons could go on, but I still don't think any of them are valid if the two of you are confident in yourselves, each other and the bond the two of you have. What are the other reasons?

I am not speaking of an open relationship where each person can do as they please without accountability.

I personally think that leads to lies, covering up and emotional connections. Which are all dangerous and all break trust with your spouse.

I am talking about one night, letting your spouse sleep with a stranger or a stranger sleep with you. Or someone going out of town on business and banging a slutty chick all night until she forgets her middle name.

Or the two of you and another couple pile up in a king size bed until the sun comes up. No lying, no covering up, everything open and on the table in front of your eyes. And, with someone that you will never see again, text the next day asking how their morning is going or meet for lunch or continue to "connect" with.

Basically the other party is used purely for your physical temporary pleasure and then tossed aside once it is over. The other party also views you as a temporary source of pleasure as well.

How does that scenario take away or hurt your relationship with your spouse? They are using someone else's body for pleasure, basically like a sex toy, except they are live sex toys.

Jealousy? Why would you be jealous? That other person gets them for 45 minutes, you get them anytime you want and your spouse chose you to spend their life with, not the 45 minute human sex toy, right?

If anyone should be jealous its the 45 minute person, they should be jealous because you get them for a lifetime and they only got them for 45 minutes.

Your spouse gets a massage that is purely for pleasure, if you remove the taboo that the media and society has put on sex then could they be viewed the same?

Why is it ok for a man to touch a woman's hand but not her breasts? Who said breasts were off limits? Again, media, society, influence…?

If 50 of us were born and day 1 placed on a 5 acre island in the middle of the ocean. No influence from the past, no influence from society or the media, no one to teach us what is off limits.

Would we just naturally grow up know that women are supposed to cover their breasts and sex should be only allowed between two people for eternity?

Of course not, we wouldn't have a world there to tell us how to be, so why again do we let a world that is pretty fucked up dictate to us what is right and wrong or what is off limits?

I want to know why and "because the world says so" isn't a good enough reason for me.

I'd like to hear your open and honest thoughts on this topic, I will personally reply back to every comment left.

I am not here to convince anyone, I am just here to discuss. My replies will be unbiased and unemotional. Just give your random thoughts or answer the below questions from the blog.

1. If you have a solid foundation with someone, does a physical act purely for pleasure affect that foundation?

2. Is it different if both people in the relationship openly discuss and are aware of the acts vs an open relationship where each person does as they please.

3. Is it different if its a regular person that you sleep with vs a random stranger that you never meet or talk to again?

4. Is it different for the woman to do it knowing that for most women stimulation and attraction starts with her mind and emotions, and attraction for a man starts with something as simple as being there and smelling good.

5. In the majority of cases if a woman is being fulfilled mentally, emotionally and physically by her partner she will not want to sleep with another man. If a man has everything he could ever want, sleeping with another woman is still appealing.True or false?

6. If you are 100 percent confident that there is no one that can fulfill your spouse the way you can, then should you be worried or jealous of someone else touching them? If the answer is yes, then why?

7. Do you agree with the 5 acre island without any outside influences theory?

8. What are the reasons why have monogamy in your relationship?

9. Jealousy? Why would you be jealous? Unless you felt that your spouse would choose the other person over you… Right?

"Advice To Girls"

I just wanted to write a quick blog to express a few feelings I have that I think should be said. First off, to me, the most attractive thing a girl can to is play hard to get. Giving it all up from the start is how so many girls fall into the pattern of being a "slut" and getting used time after time.

I think EVERY GIRL no matter their color, weight, breast size, waist line, etc... has something to offer. I think that all of you girls need to realize that if you ever want to have something meaningful, you have to stop giving yourself up so easily.

A one night stand or a short span of "amazing sex" isn't going to fill the void of what you really want. I have seen SO MANY good girls turn into bad girls and I have to wonder how that has any substance or fulfillment. YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT!!!!

I swear. I don't care if you have slept with ZERO guys or ONE THOUSAND guys, you can turn your life around and be something of value to someone.

I hate seeing slutty girls give themselves up so easily when they could be so much more.Fake boobs, fake smiles, pathetic pick up lines, one night stands, half naked in the club, grinding on every guy, body painted, flashing cameras...it never gets you anywhere.

Sex sells, but are you worth the low price you are putting yourself out there for?Do you want to be someone that is treasured or do you want to be on the clearance rack?

Seriously...Yes I'm a guy. Yes I've taken advantage of situations before. But this is me being 100% honest making a please to any girl that has any sort of self-respect for themselves...know your value.

Every girls has something to offer and their is nothing attractive about being the party slut. Sure you are the center of attention for a while, but when everyone else is getting married, moving on, and you're all alone with your cats, you can't say you never read this and you can't say you were never told you were better than that.Here it is...no matter who you are...

YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT!!!!I swear. I promise. A real guy, a good guy, a guy you will actually want to be with, isn't looking for a party slut, the girl wasted at the bar, the stripper, etc...when it comes down to TRUE desires, he wants the girl that will stay true to him and stay away from that lifestyle...

Yes there are guys that will want a slut, but do they want you as a slutty girl or any slutty girl?Wonder why you keep getting played, used, or cheated on??? I just told you.

"Yourself Is Your Personal Investment"

Procrastinate on Everything Else, But Not Self Improvement

Firstly, 'impossible' is 1 word that keeps ideas from becoming reality, and has left different persons living lives filled with discontentment as well as frightening trials.

You have to recognize what prompts you but the reality is still that no other person can discover it for you; you've to think about it correctly as it will obviously go a very long way in carving you into what you will become. You make every situation seem highly awful or also worse when you make use of phrases like 'always' or 'in no way' on your subordinates at the office. And it provides you a feeling that the persons you make use of these words on are not reliable.
It's certainly vital for anyone that's desirous about self improvement to learn about a current thing every day due to the fact that studying is a delightful exercise that not merely broadens our horizons but also provides us a lot better opportunities to better ourselves.

A coaching manager in an organization is meant to productively manage various perspectives so as to triumph with the common target of an organization; heshe is also meant to help in the level of members' expectations and also needs. Some people don't understand that the mental and emotional factors of a man or woman are highly valuable to anyone who is desirous about self improvement.

By eating just the right types of foods, increasing your level of physical fitness along with the right exercise routines, your body will obviously pick up the signals that you need to burn lots of fuel for energy and put you in the right physical frame for self enhancement.

Even teenagers can profit a lot from self enhancement; as a parent, try to constantly work on improving every aspects of your children's lives - their studies, their physical vigor, their communication knowledge, etc.

In rounding off, in the aspect of self improvement, coaches are supposed to act as your guides and motivation to propel you as hard as it's possible to go; an excellent teacherwill obviously not make life tough for you just due to the fact that you haven't yet done much or you haven't yet performed well.

"Intelligence Is Not Intelligence Without Humility"

How to Be Humble

"In reality there is perhaps no one of our natural Passions so hard to subdue as pride. Disguise it, struggle with it, beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself...For even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility." - Benjamin Franklin

"It's hard to be humble," says an old country song, "when you're perfect in every way." Very few people, of course, actually think they're perfect in every way, but it can still be pretty hard to be humble, especially when you live in a society that encourages competition and individuality. Even in such a culture, however, humility is an important virtue. Learning to be humble is of paramount importance in most religions and spiritual traditions, and humility can also help you develop as a person and enjoy richer relationships with others.

[edit] Steps
Appreciate your talents. Being humble doesn't mean you can't feel good about yourself. Self-esteem is not the same as pride. Both come from a recognition of your own talents and qualities, but pride--the kind of pride that leans toward arrogance--is rooted in insecurity about them. Think about the abilities you have and be thankful for them.

Understand your limitations. No matter how talented you are, there is almost always somebody who can do something better than you can. Even if you are the best in the world at doing one thing, there are other things--important, worthwhile things--that you cannot do, and you may never be able to do some of these things. Add to this the fact that there are a great many things that no person can do, and you can get some idea of your limitations. Recognizing your limitations does not mean abandoning your dreams, and it doesn't mean giving up on learning new things or improving your existing abilities. It does mean coming to terms with the very real limits of your abilities.

Recognize your own faults. We judge others because it's a lot easier than looking at our own faults. Unfortunately, it's also completely unproductive and, in many cases, harmful. Judging others causes strife in relationships, and it prevents new relationships from forming. Perhaps even worse, it prevents us from trying to improve ourselves. We make judgments about others all the time, and we often don't even realize it. As a practical exercise, try to catch yourself in the act of judging another person or group of people, and whenever you do, judge yourself instead and consider how you could improve yourself.

Stop comparing. Why? Because, it's just about impossible to be humble when we're striving to be the "best" or trying to be "better" than others. Instead, try describing things more objectively. Rather than saying that so and so is the best guitarist ever, say what exactly it is that you appreciate about his skills, or simply say that you like his playing style. Let go of meaningless, simplistic comparisons, and you'll be able to enjoy doing things without worrying about whether you're better or worse at them than others.

Appreciate the talents and qualities of others. Challenge yourself to look at others and appreciate the things they can do and, more generally, to appreciate people for who they are. Understand that everybody is different and relish the chance you have to experience different people. You will still have your personal tastes, your likes and dislikes, but train yourself to separate your opinions from your fears and you will appreciate others more--you will be humbler.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Never be afraid to admit that you made a mistake. Part of being humble is understanding that you will make mistakes. Understand this, and understand that everyone else makes mistakes, and you will have a heavy burden lifted off of you. Why do we make mistakes? Because we don't know everything. Any one person can know only the smallest bits and pieces of the tremendous knowledge that has accumulated over the past. What's more, we experience only a sliver of the present, and we know nothing of the future.
Don't be afraid to defer to others' judgment. It's easy to acknowledge that you make mistakes and that you're not always right.

Somewhat more difficult however, is the ability to acknowledge that in many cases other people--even people who disagree with you--may be right. Deferring to your spouse's wishes, to a law you don't agree with, or even, sometimes, to your child's opinion takes your recognition of your limitations to a different level. Instead of simply saying that you know that you're fallible, you take action based on that fact. Of course, if you know that a particular course of action is wrong, you shouldn't follow it. On closer inspection, though, you may realize that you don't actually know this as often as you think you do.

Rejuvenate your sense of wonder. Because we, as individuals, know practically nothing, you'd expect that we'd be awestruck more often than we typically are. Children have this sense of wonder, and it inspires the curiosity that makes them such keen observers and capable learners. Do you really know how your microwave works? Could you build one on your own? What about your car? Your brain? A rose? The jaded, "I've seen it all" attitude makes us feel far more important than we are. Be amazed like a child and you will not only be humbled; you will also be readier to learn.

Seek guidance. Contemplate moral texts and proverbs about humility. Pray for it, meditate on it, do whatever it takes to get your attention off yourself. If you're not into spirituality, consider the scientific method or vipassana. Science requires humility. It requires that you let go of your preconceived notions and judgments and understand that you don't know as much as you think you do.

Think about yourself under different circumstances. Much of what we give ourselves credit for should actually be credited to luck. Suppose you graduate from an Ivy League university at the top of your class. You definitely deserve a lot of credit for the many hours of studying and for your perseverance. Consider though, that there may be somebody just as intelligent and hardworking as you who simply had different parents, grew up in a different place, or simply had the bad luck to make one wrong choice in life. That person - you, really - might be in jail now, or they might have been killed in a war or starved to death. Always remember that with a little bad luck yesterday, your whole life could be different today and, furthermore, that today could be the day your luck changes.

Help others. A big part of being humble is respecting others, and part of respecting others is helping them. Treat other people as equals and help them because it is the right thing to do. It's been said that when you can help others who cannot possibly help you in return, you have learned humility.

[edit] Tips
Keep in mind that being humble has many benefits. Humility can help you be more content with your life, and it can also help you endure bad times and improve your relationships with others. It's also essential to being an effective learner. If you think you know it all, you won't be open-minded enough to seek out new knowledge. Humility is also, somewhat counter-intuitively, an excellent tool for self-development in general. After all, if you feel superior, you have no incentive to improve. Most of all, being humble allows you to be honest with yourself.

[edit] Warnings
Pretending to be humble isn't the same as being humble, and often people who pretend to be humble do it in order to seek out praise. Other people will recognize this, and even if you fool some, you won't derive the same benefits as you would through actually developing humility.
Similarly, don't confuse being humble with being sycophantic (being overly-praiseful of someone for your own profit). This is a common misconception, but the two attitudes are completely different.

"R-E-S-P-E-C-T"

Developing a relationship isn’t easy. It involves entering completely into another man’s world, and that can be a frightening thing. His family, his friends? His personal history? Pretty heavy stuff. Don’t let it scare you. It’s no monster – it is, in fact, the road to the happy ending you’re after.

One of the most pivotal elements is respect. Mutual respect. You have no choice if you want the real thing. It’s tough, again, and I know this. But you must give to get and, in the case of relationships, giving means being open to what he’s into and what makes him the man he is. If he’s the man you think he is, he’ll return the favor.

As your relationship begins, think about who you are and who he is. What are you willing to compromise for the sake of this partnership? How much of what he is attracts you enough to make you want to do it with all your heart? If you’re sincere about wanting the real thing – and that’s why you’re here – you owe it to yourself to answer these questions.

Remember: we all live in our own private universes. We are the center. That means he’s the center of his own too. Respect his life and respect his feelings. As you expect your own desires and dreams to be treated properly, so does he. And, if the attraction is there, it’s more than worth the effort. Maybe the relationship won’t work out. You may make other contacts in the future. But you’ll be guilty of nothing more than have trying to give your best to him.

We live in the age of entitlement and this makes it rougher. We all believe our due is the perfect guy. Yet we’re far from perfect ourselves, a fact we often overlook when we interact with men on my partner. We’re impatient. We want it now and we want it fabulous. Real partnership calls for a lot more, and I think you can give it.

The good news? It can be fabulous. Just be available to him in a truly emotional way. Express caring. Convey concern. At the very least, listen to him. Be a friend. You may find you’re paving the way to the thing you wanted from the start. At the worst, you made a strong connection with another man.

I reiterate: listen. Hear what your partner is saying. He’s communicating a great deal, especially if you read between the lines. And, if you have a real affection for him, you’ll want to do this. There’s nothing more rewarding than giving to someone you have feelings for. That’s when the true fireworks start, the blasts that come from the heart and soul.

"You've Got to Stand for Something"

You've Got to Stand for Something

Or you'll fall for anything. If you do not have values, you never have good relationships. You must know who you are, what you believe in, and what you want in relationship.

Know who you are-You are who you are. You have essentially been this person your entire life. You are NOT what you do for a living. That is simply how you make money. You are a person with thoughts, dreams, hopes, and fears. If you really don't know who you are, you should sit down and write out a description of yourself. You can include your physical attributes, but that is only part of who you are. Write down all the things that are important to you, in any order. Don't leave anything out, even things you may consider to be flaws or faults. Once you have a better grasp on who you are, you can get on to having meaningful relationships.

Know What You Believe In - Everybody believes in something. I'm not talking about religious beliefs, although that is a big part of who some people are. I'm talking about the things you feel passionately about. Do you feel strongly about politics? religion? sex? West Australian hummingbirds? sports? raising children? Whatever you feel strongly about shapes who you are, and becomes your values system.

Know What You Want - If you are looking for a particular type of relationship, or a particular type of person, DO NOT settle for anything less. If you are looking for a purely physical, short-term situation, and you settle down with someone for a long-term committed relationship, you will end up feeling trapped and it will ultimately end badly. On the other hand, if you're looking for a long-term commitment, and you hook up with someone for a one-night stand, you will likely end up feeling empty and dirty. If you're looking for someone outgoing and personable, and you are with someone who is very shy and reserved, you are not going to be very happy, either.

It always comes back to communication, especially with yourself. You must know who you are, what you believe in, and what you want. Otherwise, you not be happy in any relationship.

Make your life meaningful by sharing it to others...

May there be a miracle in your life today & may you have the eyes to see it.

Here you will find an idea for a possible Act of Kindness that could truly make a difference in someone's life as well as in our world. Remember, kindness is contagious!

"Perhaps we're too embarrassed to change or too frightened of the consequences of showing that we actually care. But why not risk it anyway? BEGIN TODAY!"

"Carry out an act of kindness, with no expectation ofreward or punishment. Safe in the knowledge that one day, someone somewhere might do the same for you."

Share some new information that you may have learned about recently with someone else who would benefit from it. Thank you.

What do you know about pornography addiction?

Pornography Addiction

What are the result of PORNOGRAPHY in the society:

Open our eyes & analyze the true problems that we are encoutering in our daily lives.

1.PORNO in the net is accesible by anyone including the young,we should be responsible enough to in protecting our future.If you are an ordinary civilian you can contribute in preventing by not posing any indecent materials in the net.If everyone do this we can solve the root of our one major problems in the society.

Porno=crime

Porno=molestation/child abuse

Porno=unfaithfulness,betrayal,adultery

Porno=corruption

Porno=cheating

Porno=stealing

Porno=poverty

Porno=unhealthy lifestyle

Porno=poor moral,low self-esteem

Porno=pollutes our mind

Porno=greediness

Porno=exploiting

Porno-no fear in GOD

START the changed within in ourselves & we will make a big difference.

To be able to fix the problems in the society we must seek the solution & know what is the root of the problems of the society.Not just giving remedy in our dying future.Small act can make a big difference.

NO TO PORNOGRAPHY,NUDE IS NOT AN ART WHEN IT IS EXPLOITED...

2.If there is no market there will be no producer,if there is no merchandise there will be no buyer.

ALL I CAN SAY IS SEEK YOUR CONSCIENCE & IT WILL GUIDE YOU TO DO THE RIGHT THING!!!

" IF WE LIVE iN GOD,GOD WILL LIVE iN US."

What is Sex Addiction?

There are good "sex addiction" tests all over the web that can help you determine if you are addicted to sex in some form. We are not going to attempt to reproduce those here, but will offer this simple definition and challenge:

If your life is being controlled by your sexual desires and activities, instead of YOU being in control of them, then you have a sexual addiction.

Sex Addiction vs. Pornography Addiction:

Far and away the largest subset of men who are dealing with sexual addiction are dealing specifically with Internet pornography addiction. The Internet has brought many, many good things to our lives--but it has also enabled the anonymous, always-on, and affordable (often free) access to pornography.

If you sent a bottle of vodka to every home in America every week for a year, you would no doubt have a whole wave of alchoholics. The Internet has created a wave of pornography addicts with its pervasive porn delivery mechanism.

If you are a Christian man who is in this group, help yourself by starting the Pure Online program now and not putting it off another day.

Overcoming Pornography & Sex Addiction

Can I get help for my addiction? How do I get help? What specifically, can I do?

Sexual addiction and porn addiction are difficult topics to discuss, difficult to diagnose, and even more difficult to remove. One of the elements that makes sexual sin difficult to deal with in the life of a Christian man is that it is often covered by a layer of secrecy and shame.

Despite these difficulties, sexual sin can be conquered. If you desire to change, God can heal and bring restoration.

What do you need to do to recover from sexual sin?

There are many ways that men have successfully dealt with sexual sin in their lives. Most often, breaking a porn addiction involves some combination of God, real-world accountability, the incorporation of new disciplines, counseling, and hard work.

What are the key components in breaking addiction?

Clearly define the problem.One common element that we believe must be present in any recovery program is a clear definition of the problem. This includes gaining an understanding of how sexual addiction starts, how it is fueled, and the impact it has on us and the people we love.
Start with a Biblical foundation.It is vital for a Christian man that the solution be authored from a foundation that is Bible-based.

Sexuality and sprituality are tightly linked and trying to solve one without the other will prove futile. Understanding the problem from a biblical perspective will allow you to put in place a solution that is also centered around your faith.

Have a plan.No recovery program can remove sexual addiction overnight. Nor can any one plan solve every different kind of sexual addiction in every kind of man. But, for a plan to work, we believe that it must have clear, concise recovery steps that the participant can follow.

Take action.You won't finish something that you are afraid to start. Often the one thing that prevents a guy from getting help is that he has to tell someone he needs help. That process of disclosure is often perceived to be too painful, and so the problem just continues--and often escalates.

So whatever you do, find a course of action that you are able to start quickly--and in a confidential setting. Just like any cancer, early treatment can often mean better, faster, more thorough recovery.