"I've learned that..!!!!"

What Life Had Taught Me...& What I've Learned From It

1.) I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

2.) I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back

3.) I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

4.) I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

5.) I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

6.) I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.

7.) I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to people that’s important. It’s what they do about it.

8.) I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

9.) I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

10.) I’ve learned that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think.

11.) I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

12.) I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you think you can’t.

13.) I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

14.) I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

15.) I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. (Amen to that!)

16.) I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

17.) I’ve learned that learning to forgive takes practice.

18.) I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don’t know how to show it.

19.) I’ve learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

20.) I’ve learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

21.) I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

22.) I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

23.) I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

24.) I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

25.) I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

26.) I’ve learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if she believed it.

27.) I’ve learned that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

28.) I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

29.) I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

30.) I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

31.)I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

32.) I’ve learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I’m forced to choose sides even when I don’t want to.

33.) I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

34.) I’ve learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

35.)I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

36.) I’ve learned that if you don’t want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.

37.) I’ve learned that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

38.) I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

39.) I’ve learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

40.) I’ve learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.

41.) I’ve learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.

42.) I’ve learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.

43.) I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.

44.) I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

45.) I’ve learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.

46.) I’ve learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.

47.) I’ve learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

48.) I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

49.) I’ve learned that although the word "love" can have many different meaning, it loses value when overly used.

50.) I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.

51.) I’ve learned that people you’ve meet have always a purpose in your life. Either he/she will teach you a lesson or you will teach him/her a lesson.

52.)I’ve learned that every problem has its own solution. Just always have FAITH.

53.) I’ve learned that there’s always a rainbow after a rain.

54.) I’ve learned that your SMILE means a lot to someone.

55.) I’ve learned that always think positive and see the positive side of a person to make your life happy.

56.) I’ve learned that Life is Simple, don’t make it too complicated.

57.) I’ve learned that we have always a choice and face the consequences of your choice either it’s positive or negative.

58.) I’ve learned that you cannot please everyone.

59.) I’ve learned that it’s ok to make a mistake and be stupid sometimes. In this you learn your lesson and don’t do it again. Once is enough but twice is too much…third time??? It’s Stupidity!

60.) I’ve learned that LIFE is a GIFT, so make the most of it. Enjoy every minute, every second of it.

"You Are The Reflection Of Your Thoughts"

http://www.raphael75dus.de/

Smooth Road'z Never Make Good Driverz:
Smooth Sea Never Makes Good Sailorz:
Clear Skies Never Make Good Pilot:
Problem Free Life Never Makes a Strong & Good person:
Have a Tough But Winning Day Ahead:
Be Strong Enough To Accept The Challengez Of Life....
Dont Ask Life "Why Me"?
Instead Say "Try Me"
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.5. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer.6. Play more games.7. Read more books than you did in 2008.8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.9. Sleep for 7 hours.10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.16. Dream more while you are awake.17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your resent happiness.19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.23. Smile and laugh more.24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Society:
25. Call your family often.26. Each day give something good to others.27. Forgive everyone for everything.28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.30. What other people think of you is none of your business.31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.34. GOD heals everything.35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.37. The best is yet to come.38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy

"Enhance Yourself By MOTIVATION"

ABC of motivation

A void negative sources, people, places, things and habits.

B elieve in yourself.

C onsider things from every angle.

D on't give up and don't give in.

E njoy life today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come.

F amily and friends are hidden treasures; enjoy their riches.

G ive more than you planned to.

H ang on to your dreams.

I gnore those who try to discourage you.

J ust do it.

K eep trying no matter how hard it seems, it will get easier.

L ove yourself first and most.

M ake it happen.

N ever lie, cheat or steal, always strike a fair deal.

O pen your eyes and see things as they really are.

P ractice makes perfect.

Q uitters never win and winners never quit.

R ead, study and learn about everything important in your life.

S top procrastinating.

T ake control of your own destiny.

U nderstand yourself in order to better understand others.

V isualize it.W ant it more than anything.

E X cellerate your efforts.

Y ou are unique of all God's creations, nothing can replace YOU.

Z ero in on your target and go for it!

Just Say 'Yes' to the Moment

We should all learn how to slow down.

So what we do when we get anxious and insecure is we speed up. We get busy: we get addicted to email, we get addicted to being online, we get addicted to food and drugs, we get addicted to talking to other people--not just to communicate but just to keep busy. Buddhist practices offer a way of saying, Hey, come back over here, reconnect. The only way that you'll actually wake up and have some freedom is if you have the capacity and courage to stay with the vulnerability and the discomfort.

Meditation helps us to pay attention so that we can directly realize and trust the goodness that's there. We actually begin to recognize that who we are is awareness, who we are is love, and our sense of identity shifts in such a fundamental way that it actually challenges the small-self story.

What do you mean by "small-self"?

The perception that we are separate and deficient. One of the metaphors I always find helpful is that our being is like an ocean and we get identified with different waves, like different weather systems that go through, like we get identified with fear or clinging or certain thoughts and if we can recognize those waves but remember our oceanness, really remember who we are, remember the innate radiance of our mind, the tenderness, then we can be with the changing weather systems, the waves, but not get caught up in them, not lose sight of who we are.

One of the teachings I love the most from the Buddha is, "Our fear is great, but greater yet is the truth of our connectedness." So we can remember our belonging at any moment—even facing death—if we can remember the love that holds us. Then we can actually face living and dying and have something that's large enough to hold us.

One of the reasons I was so drawn to writing about radical acceptance is because we spend so many moments at war, and we do it in the ways we judge ourselves, we do it in the ways we blame others, we do it in the ways we feel it's our country against that country.

There is so much division in this world. So what is really the path of healing? It can begin in this moment, by embracing the life that's here. Because if we can begin to bring a sense of peace and care to the life inside us, naturally the circles widen to include other people. It's the way of the heart—if we can be kind towards ourselves we'll be kind towards others.

This conference is about fear, something you've written a lot about.

The biggest fear we have is that somewhere, we are failing or are going to fail. You can almost say that our personalities are in a large part a way of compensating for fear. We want to show to the world what would be acceptable and loveable. In doing so, we in some way disconnect from the aliveness and authenticity of who we are.

So I really feel like our path should be one of slowing down enough to re-embrace, re-connect with what we've pushed away. One of the simplest ways we can do that is just to intend to say "yes" to what we experience in the moment. I teach that a lot.

We can at any moment feel what's going on; just say "yes" to that. It's a practice of truthfulness, we're acknowledging what's real and saying, this is here and meaning that with some kindness and when we do that, when we accept what's in the moment, it actually taps us into the intelligence, the wisdom, the heart that allows us to act more wisely in the future.
One of the great psychologists, Carl Rogers, put it this way, "It wasn't until I accepted myself just as I was in this moment, that I was free to change." So it's a pre-condition to true transformation, is to accept ourselves in the moment.

Why are we so afraid to fail? Because we think failing means that our biggest fear [will be realized]: that we'll be rejected. And rejection is bad; it severs our belonging. So we do whatever we can to not have that happen.

If deep down we're feeling something's wrong with me, we can't really be intimate with another person. We can't take risks, we can't be creative, it binds our life. So when people start recognizing how much of their life has been imprisoned by that trance of unworthiness, just that recognition with it comes a sense of "Oh, it's possible not to live inside that." And it's very liberating.

When some people talk about accepting themselves they have this fear that they're condoning some bad behavior, or that if they accept themselves, that means they'll never improve. But the truth is, we're not saying, "It's OK that you did that bad thing."

All we're accepting is the actuality of our experience in the moment: I'm accepting this shame is here, I'm accepting this fear is here, I'm accepting this anger, I'm accepting that there's craving,

I'm accepting the truth just now, that I acted out of that craving and I ate too much. I'm accepting how bad I feel about that. But in the moment of accepting, we're not condoning. We're just acknowledging the truth of what's here with kindness. The reality is, if we can do that, it actually begins to free us so we can in the next moment, be a lot more wise.

Can you tell us about your own practice? Do you meditate every day?



Yes. I meditate 45 minutes in the morning and I catch-as-catch-can through the day.

You're very good at making it a priority.

Yeah, because it's a gift to the soul.

What I believe in for myself and for most of us is that we need to learn to pause more. That we race through the day, it's like we're living our life as if we're on our way to the next thing which means we get to the finish line—death—and we haven't really dropped in and touched what's here. So a lot of my inner training is to pause and reconnect, it means I come back into my body and come back into my life.

I think the two most powerful questions I ask myself are, "What is happening inside me right now?" and "Can I meet this with some kindness?" Just to keep stopping and doing that. Because if I can do that with my own body and heart, then I can show up in the same way and pause and really notice with another person, their vulnerability, that each one of us is scared in different ways. I mean we're all feeling the same stuff.

And also their goodness, like I can actually pause and sense that each of us wants to be happy, we want to love without holding back and we want to be free. So it helps me to pause and then move through the day with more awareness.

Does American culture pose particular challenges for Buddhists?

There's a growing number of people that are really waking up and cherishing waking up, people who want to be honest with what's happening and want to live in a genuinely compassionate, tender way. It's a challenging time in that it's very painful to see all this violence there is in the world. It's very painful to see how out of fear and greed and consumption we're destroying the earth.

A number of us won a Buddhist peace fellowship in Washington at the time we were going to war with Iraq because there's a recognition that to be committed to reverence for life, and not harming means that to take a stand in our world, that you can't separate our inner commitment to spirituality from our outer commitment to be part of the healing of the world.
And a number of us were arrested; I was arrested before the war started. But the commitment was not to be an anti-war movement that was strident and angry; it was to come from a place of genuine caring about the world and embody that. And so we actually, it was quite a respectful kind of process and it continues to be happening.

So when you ask me about being a Buddhist in the world today, it's not being a Buddhist, it's being a person that loves life and wants to wake up and I feel like, I have many friends in many different religions, we're all holding hands, wanting to wake up together.

Is activism a big part of your life?

Yeah, it is. I don't think of the spiritual path as something that's just on a cushion or in a cave. I feel like we live out our values and our love for life by waking up both in solitude and quiet and also by speaking our truths and doing whatever we can on the planet that'll help us move towards healing.

Knowing the "Hidden Power" of Fonts Spells Success

Knowing the "Hidden Power" of Fonts Spells Success
Does font choice reveal something hidden in your personality?


I'm a font fanatic. I can't begin to type anything unless I find a font that feels right. My favorites are the trusty Times New Roman, Courier New, Comic Sans, and Arial. I wondered what my font choices say about me, so I did some research and found out that there's more than meets the eye when it comes to fonts.

"Perception of Fonts: Personality Traits and Uses," a 2006 psychology study done at Wichita State University, revealed that people associate fonts with particular moods.

After going through the study's survey charts, I was amused to find out that my font choices present me as a "stable conformist" who could also be funny and "cuddly." (Me? A conformist?) Go figure. Check out the study and see how you might be judged by your favorite fonts.

In any case, the Wichita State University study confirms that fonts have indeed become significant elements of communication. In the old days, a person's handwriting was thought to be the key to his or her personality. Now--with technology as the great equalizer and a blessing to those with horrible penmanship--a person's font choices are supposed to show the world how his or her mind works.

As such, knowing the right fonts to use could spell the difference between the failure and success of communication.

It seems that the advertising industry has tapped into this "hidden power" of fonts. John Doyle, a marketing researcher at Cardiff Business School in the U.K. says that "consumers prefer consistency" and that "congruence between a typeface and an ad's message results in a more memorable product."

To illustrate his point, Doyle presented some of his findings:

1. Ornate, scripted fonts are associated with elegance.

2. A font that is slanted to the right connotes action. It's best for fast, high-paced products.

3. Products meant to exude strength and power are best shown off with heavy, block-like fonts.
Then again, I think we should all remember that the message we want to communicate or the product we're selling should be substantial enough to begin with.

While fonts do pack a subtle-yet-powerful psych punch, they can only enhance a good idea or a wonderful product. People won't believe what you're saying or buy what you're selling if it's not any good--never mind if you used the right font in your marketing letter.

Knowing the "Hidden Power" of Fonts Spells Success

Side Note from MJ: Great stuff, Bean. The Direct Marketing world universally seems to agree that the standard serif fonts (12 pt. Times New Roman and 10 pt. Courier) will have a very positive impact on the response rate of any print ad.

The theory is that these fonts increase readability and it's only logical that this would increase the response rate of your ads. You can have the best-written ad in the world and if no one reads it, it just doesn't matter. On the web, since serif fonts don't render so well in browsers, the preferred font tends to be Arial, Verdana, and Tahoma.

Of course marketers will argue this point from every which direction, but the above seems to be the most universally agreed upon standard in the Direct Marketing world. The brand marketers are looking at things from an entirely different lens, so for them short ads with fonts selected for emotional impact can make good sense.

"Improving Your Self-esteem"

How to Start a Self-Esteem File
"They conquer who believe they can."

10 steps to help you set up a repository for affirming, loving words from the important people in your life.

By Therese Borchard

Three years ago I walked into my therapist's office feeling like a Krispy Kreme donut: I had no center. Everything I attempted, both professionally and personally, seemed to flop. I had no sense of self, no confidence, and no faith in myself. I found nothing of value in my DNA.So she assigned me a project that turned out to be a meaningful, lasting tool in my mental health toolbox. I call it "The Self-Esteem File." Here are 10 steps for starting your own.

Step 1: Identify 10 Strengths in Yourself

My therapist first told me to try to identify 10 of my strengths--10 positive qualities about myself--and to write them down on a piece of paper. This first step, trying to recognize your own assets, and to begin, ever so slightly, to believe in yourself again, is the most important. And the most difficult.Think hard about what people have told you in the past: things that you do especially well, or personality traits they admire. Think about your job. Why are you good at it? Or about your hobby. What makes you enjoy it? What is that something special about you?You might also go through old birthday cards, or report cards, or annual reviews (excerpting ONLY the positive), think back to past conversations with friends, page through photo albums and scrapbooks--anything to recall those times when people recognized your talents and assets and expressed appreciation for them.

Step 2: Come Up with Four People to List Your Strengths

If you were unable to come up with 10 positive traits about yourself, I totally understand that. Because the first time I tried to do it, I couldn't get there either. I stopped at two: I had a nice-shaped nose and thick fingernails. And those two qualities weren't exactly making me feel whole again.So here's the next step: come up with four people who will write that list for you. Now, I know what you're thinking: if I had four people in my life who would tell me why I am wonderful, then I wouldn't have low self-esteem...right? Of course, it's not that simple. But I'm thinking that there are four people in your life who could do this for you. Not necessarily friends, but maybe coworkers, or siblings, or teachers, or pastors, or mail carriers. Think about people who have complimented you in the past. Go there.

Step 3: Make Four Friends

If you still can't think of four people in your life who could identify and list 10 of your assets, then you need to make more friends. And I have some ideas on how to do that!Go read my post "12 Ways to Make Friends," in which I mention a few strategies like: joining a book club, volunteering with a charity or civic association, getting involved with your church, going online and joining a group like "Group Beyond Blue," seeking a support group, taking a night class, getting a dog (pet owners stick together), "stealing" friends from other friends (my favorite), carpooling to work, attending a conference, connecting with your alumni associations, and talking to strangers (which is how I met my guardian angel, Ann).

Step 4: Ask Your Friends to Make the List

Now that you have at least four people who can ideally compile a list of positive traits for you, what do you say to them?I know. This is not easy. Because it is admitting that you are, well, in a bit of a rut. Which is why you can make up something like the following (which isn't a lie, really!): "For a project I'm doing with an online group, I need to assign four people with the task of listing 10 positive traits about me. I thought of you since you're such a positive and complimentary person. Would you ever consider doing that for me?"If you know the friend well, you might say something a tad more revealing: "Hey, you know, I've been feeling really down on myself, and someone suggested that I have my friends compile a list of my character strengths, because I can't really see any. Would you mind doing that for me?"

Step 5: Buy a Folder and a Label

Next comes one of the easier steps: simply drive (or walk) to the drugstore or to an office-supply shop and buy a folder. Any color. Any style. Write the words "Self-Esteem File" on the front. Make it so obvious that you would be embarrassed if anyone found it.Why? Because if your home catches on fire, you want to be sure to grab the right file: the one with all the warm fuzzies inside.

Step 7: Find More Friends

Most of the time, one, two, three, or four of your friends won't follow through on their promise, which is why you need a list of four additional people to serve as alternatives in case your lazy so-called friends bail on this task. So, review Step 3 on the different ways you can meet friends, and say to your additional four people something like this:"As you may or may not be aware, I need some affirmations. Lots of them. Could you please list 10 positive qualities about me? Why are you my friend? Why do you return my calls?" (If they don't, skip that one.) "What would you say at my funeral?" (But reassure them that you have no plans to die right now.) "You see, I am starting a self-esteem file, and I'd love for your positive words to be among the first pieces to fill it."

Step 8: Propose an Affirmation Exchange

If asking friends for a list of 10 positive traits still has you a bit freaked out, because it is asking something of someone, and I know how hard that can be, here's an idea: propose an exchange of affirmations. I rub your back if you rub mine. I tell you 10 positive things about you, and you tell me 10 about me. A little collaboration. That's not so scary, right?

Step 9: Continue to Collect Affirmations

Become an affirmation hoarder. That's right. Whenever anyone says anything remotely positive ("You smell interesting today"), record it: on a Post-It, legal pad, receipt, or on anything that you can shove into your self-esteem file. Pretend you are a New York Times reporter with the assignment of breaking the story that you are a precious, lovable, wonderful human being that so many people in this world appreciate, respect, and admire. Put into your file all those letters, cards, notes, emails that are complimentary in any way. Look also for "proof" in the past that you are worthy and lovable: professional feedback, birthday cards, thank-you notes, Mother's Day presents (if they are made of paper), Valentines.

Step 10: Read It!

As you watch your self-esteem file widen, fatten, thicken, and grow, a curious thing might happen...you might not depend on it so much. You'll graduate to what David Burns, M.D., author of "10 Days to Self-Esteem" calls "unconditional self-esteem." Explains Burns: "You realize that self-esteem is a gift that you and all human beings receive at birth. Your worthwhileness is already there and you don't have to earn it."That hasn't happened to me yet, and it's been three years since I started my file. I still read it fairly often, and continue to stock it full of affirmations whenever I get one. This is true, though: because of my self-esteem file, I no longer feel like a donut. I have a center, and I am loved.

"Be Happy & Look Young"

How to Stay Young & Happy Always:

1. Throw out non-essential numbers.This includes age, weight, and height.

Let the doctors worry about them.. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)


3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with him (?) or her!

6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourself. LIVE while you are alive.


7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is 10. Tell the people you love that you love
them, at every opportunity.

"It Is All About Mind Setting,Mind Is Powerful"

You Have More Power Than You Realize

"What you thought before has led to every choice you have made, and this adds up to you at this moment. If you want to change who you are physically, mentally, a spiritually, you will have to change what you think."

From "One Minute Wellness" by Dr. Ben Lerner with Dr. Greg Loman:You have more power than you realize. Real wellness can only be attained through Maximized Living. Maximized Living though nurturing your body toward good health and trusting in that power is the only real medicine.It's healing, the only real cure. It's science, the only real future for real wellness.

Power Within The Mind
God made your body with the power to overcome. Real wellness is anything that removes interference with your body's ongoing, natural balancing process. By restoring balance, you can reach your maximum level of health (optimum physical, mental, and social well-being), allowing you to get well if you are sick and helping you to stay well if you are not.Let's define Maximized Living.

What does Maximized Living really include? At this point you know that it doesn't include the next blockbuster drug or plastic surgery. What it does include is exercise, a thoughtful diet, discovering a compelling purpose for your life, building strong relationships, and the use of nontoxic, noninvasive forms of health intervention, such as prayer, chiropractic care, supplementing missing nutrients, and rehabilitative techniques. Maximized living is "real wellness."

You now should realize that you must change your paradigm from an outside-in, mechanical, medical, or wellness model in which you fight or treat disease and symptoms to an inside, out, vital, real-wellness model.

In the new model you: build health as the best prevention and defense of disease, nurture a nontoxic internal environment for your cells, cooperate with the intelligent design of your body, and embrace care that corrects the cause of issues by removing interference or eliminating dis-ease-all of which is the inherent consequence of a natural lifestyle that respects your body and falls into alignment with the ultimate intent God has for your life.

Remember: health and happiness is your choice 98 percent of the time and an ever present reality through the tools of maximized living.

"Should Men Be Intimidated By Career Oriented Women?"

.....Girls with high standards?.....

Gentlemen, do you find this intimidating and scare you off? Or is it more of a challenge? Do you have high standards for women? What do they include? And ladies, do you have high standards yourself? And if so, what do YOUR standards include?

Personality? Looks? Education? Income? Etc?

Most men find it intimidating to date a woman with strong character & pursuing a career of her own.But this should not happen because being intimidated is a negative attitude & a sign of lack of self trust.Nobody should be intimidated by anyone.We are all special in different areas all we just need is to trust ourselves & discover our own strength & use it.

Being intimidated by others is sign of a weak personality ,I must say we all have the tendency to be intimidated by someone but all we need is to overcome this fear & always put in your mind that no one is above us.We are equal & all special.

Career Oriendted women should be admired by both men & women but there is no reason to be intimidated by people who already had made themselves become a successful individuals but let them be your inspiration to achieve your goals be happy for what they had accomplished in their lives.Focus on the positive side of things,being intimidated is a negative thing that you should overcome.It will do you no good at all.

I do have high standard in choosing a woman in my life.It is important that she has a good education & good values,i just don't focus on physical traits.

Physical attractiveness is important for me because i love to see beatiful things & i want to spend my life with someone who i will never be tired of looking till year passes.But i won't take a girl just for looks without brains.I'm attracted to someone who is a good conversationalist that can discuss any topic with me

You should not be intimidated by someone who is achieving his or her goals in life but instead take it as a challenge that would make you more procdutive & aspire more in life,Being challenged is healthy for you to grow & disbover yourself but don't take challenges as acompetition because you should not compete with others.

You should take this challenge to boost your self-trust & not for competing

Don't try to prove yourself on anyone.To be truly successful is just do your thing with your own style,competition is not healthy for you & your relationship.

I prefer a woman who have confidence in herself,know what she wants & know how to achieve it..

I can say that i have a very high standard in choosing my mate because i have a high respect for myself & i want to be treated that way.I won't bgo with a girl who can't stand for herself & depend what she believes in.

I want someone unique,i won't choose a girl who immitates someone whether in fashion or career because woman who immitates does not know what is good or bad for her & she lacks the ability to decide what she wants that all she would do is go with the flow.I won't go with a girl who doesn't uses her own mind.I woman who doesn't know her difference with other girls because she losses her own i dentity.

For me i would much admire a girl who is self -made rather than a girl who inherited her wealth.

I would admire & prefer someone who is educated but well mannered.Because not all who acquired higher education acts educated.Being educated for me means much more not just proven by the means of diplomas & certificates.I prefer omeone who thinks & act educated.

"R-E-S-P-E-C-T"

Developing a relationship isn’t easy. It involves entering completely into another man’s world, and that can be a frightening thing. His family, his friends? His personal history? Pretty heavy stuff. Don’t let it scare you. It’s no monster – it is, in fact, the road to the happy ending you’re after.

One of the most pivotal elements is respect. Mutual respect. You have no choice if you want the real thing. It’s tough, again, and I know this. But you must give to get and, in the case of relationships, giving means being open to what he’s into and what makes him the man he is. If he’s the man you think he is, he’ll return the favor.

As your relationship begins, think about who you are and who he is. What are you willing to compromise for the sake of this partnership? How much of what he is attracts you enough to make you want to do it with all your heart? If you’re sincere about wanting the real thing – and that’s why you’re here – you owe it to yourself to answer these questions.

Remember: we all live in our own private universes. We are the center. That means he’s the center of his own too. Respect his life and respect his feelings. As you expect your own desires and dreams to be treated properly, so does he. And, if the attraction is there, it’s more than worth the effort. Maybe the relationship won’t work out. You may make other contacts in the future. But you’ll be guilty of nothing more than have trying to give your best to him.

We live in the age of entitlement and this makes it rougher. We all believe our due is the perfect guy. Yet we’re far from perfect ourselves, a fact we often overlook when we interact with men on my partner. We’re impatient. We want it now and we want it fabulous. Real partnership calls for a lot more, and I think you can give it.

The good news? It can be fabulous. Just be available to him in a truly emotional way. Express caring. Convey concern. At the very least, listen to him. Be a friend. You may find you’re paving the way to the thing you wanted from the start. At the worst, you made a strong connection with another man.

I reiterate: listen. Hear what your partner is saying. He’s communicating a great deal, especially if you read between the lines. And, if you have a real affection for him, you’ll want to do this. There’s nothing more rewarding than giving to someone you have feelings for. That’s when the true fireworks start, the blasts that come from the heart and soul.

How to Be Popular

The meek may inherit the earth, but high school and college will still belong to the popular people. Want to be one of them? You won't have to change who you are or what you care about, but you may have to challenge yourself in ways you never considered before. If you decide you’d like to jumpstart your social life, here are some steps to help you reach your goal.

[edit] Steps

1. Evaluate the reasons why you want to become popular. Do you just want to fit in? All need to do--are those worth the benefits of being popular? Do you think they are the group you would like to join?
2. Be comfortable with yourself and present a confident image. It will be much easier to have others see that and want to be around you. Once you are comfortable with being alone and happy with who you are, it’ll be easier to make friends.
3. Create your style. While many of the popular kids may wear the same kinds of clothes and have the same haircuts, this does not mean that simply changing these things about yourself will make you popular. Don’t go overboard with style changes, as it will only make you look like you are trying too hard. Instead, look at your hair and clothing as a chance to present yourself in the best light. Maybe a new, shorter haircut will help you to show off your eyes and smile, or that fashionable pair of jeans is just the confidence booster you’ve been looking for. A change can be a powerful thing. Tailor the latest trends to your own ideas, and put forth an image that makes you feel good. Remember that some of the most fashionable people are the ones who are confident enough to take chances and be different.
4. Take pride in your appearance and stay in shape. If you’re trying to attract people to you, which is not as hard as it may seem, being clean is a definite plus. Shower and brush your teeth every day, as well as using deodorant and cleaning your ears, etc. Maintain yourself as someone people won’t mind being around. People don't like smelly people. Washing your face regularly is also recommended, as it will be important to put your best face forward, and acne can definitely bring down your confidence level. For girls, make-up can be an option. If the people you want to hang around are fat, you should eat a lot of fatty foods to gain weight and gain their trust. Then you can strike the killing blow while they least expect it.
   • Smile Always have a smile on your face. Don't make yourself look like a lunatic, just simply have a smile on your face, this encourages others to want to be your friend and smile back.
5. Get involved. One of the easiest ways to meet people is to participate in school activities, such as athletic teams, community service projects, or artistic groups. Being part of a group automatically fosters some formation of relationships, and can give you the added confidence you need to feel popular. Don’t be worried about whether a certain group is cool or not; choose something that fits your interests and talents, and eventually people will recognize you for the good qualities you have. You don’t need to be a cheerleader or football player to be popular.
6. Don't be shy. Show your talents. Especially, show the ones people would never imagine you have. This will help you achieve success, popularity and more people might take an interest in you. If a large group of people feel you will become famous for your talent, this is an amazingly fast way to increase popularity and especially recognition in your school. But don't boast! Stay humble. Bragging a little is alright, but make sure you're not serious, make it a joke or something.
7. Be assertive and outgoing. Friends aren’t just going to throw themselves at you, especially not if you’ve had a not-so-popular image for years. Even if you are not naturally gregarious, you’re going to have to come out of your shell a little bit and put yourself in social situations. Don’t be afraid to go and sit at a new table at lunch, or strike up a conversation with the person next to you in study hall.
8. Change that attitude Maybe you're not very popular because of your attitude. Being positive always helps, but there are some other, smaller things, such as your remarks or reactions, make them as smooth or as enjoyable as you can. Don't be judgmental.
9. Start talking. Talk to at least 3 new people every day. Even if it's just, 'Hey, I don't get this math problem, do you?', it will still help, and remember to always smile when talking to them. When you strike up a conversation, don't always be wondering what the other person is thinking, then something negative will get across. While you maybe thinking "Wow, I sound so geeky," your face could be saying "I don't want to talk to this freak." Avoid thinking about whether or not you’re "cool" enough to talk to a certain person; rather, let that person see why they should want to talk to you.
10. Share something about yourself - it doesn't have to be big, just funny incidents or mishaps that will make people laugh (and not totally creep them out). Believe it or not, laughter often makes people feel more comfortable around you - making it more likely that they'll recall you as someone they'll like to hang around with.
11. Develop relationships. As you begin to meet people, don’t just treat them as items on a checklist. Find out what they like to do, their interests, and learn about them as people. Give out as many or even more compliments than you receive. The reality is that people aren't really that interested in you--they're interested in themselves. So don't try to act interesting to get other people's attention, act interested in them! You’re trying to make friends, not just be known.
12. Mingle. Be sure to keep in touch with your old friends—you don’t want them to think you’ve forgotten about them just because you’re making new ones. Don't just hang out with one group all the time, either. Try and alternate a fair amount between the groups, so that people get the impression that you can get along with everyone. Don’t exclude anyone. Enemies and popularity don't mix.
13. Jump in the pool. Or do something else unexpected. What this means is, sometimes to get yourself noticed, you may have to put yourself out there in ways you hadn’t considered. Maybe this means going up and talking to the girl no one else will, or dancing crazily at the next formal. Be careful you don't become an attention grabber, nobody likes a show off. Let yourself go. You’ll be surprised how good it can make you feel, and how people respect a person who goes against the crowd and does what s/he wants. Make sure you don’t just become a ‘novelty’ who amuses others with his/her antics, however.
14. Don’t think too hard. Being popular is as much a state of mind as anything else. If people see you trying too hard to be popular, they will usually dismiss your efforts. Popularity, in the end, is only partly about how others see you. Your reputation may fade and change over time, and the only thing you can/should do about that is stay absolutely true to yourself. Use these tips for your personal benefit (not in a greedy, manipulative way.) Just continue to believe in yourself, and it won’t be long before others follow your lead.
15. But always remember, being popular is just a state of mind. Memories of high school are way more important because you don't want to regret your actions when you're much older than now, so always make sure to have lots of fun with/ without the so called "popular people".
16. But over all, the most important thing to remember is to be yourself. Because even if you achieve your popularity goals being someone that your not, you can't just snap back to who you were before and expect them to treat you as the same person, and if you have to keep being someone that you're not, then you will not be happy, and that was the point of getting popular in the first place right? To get happier. And don't change. Popularity can change everyone so don't let it.Remember to choose your friends wisely

[edit] Tips

• Dont think the popular people are something higher, or above you, this wil make you shy around them, treat them as normal people, and it will be much easier
• Be a good listener. Really listen to what people are saying and be actively engaged until you can excuse yourself. Don't scan the room looking for someone more interesting to talk to.
• Be smart. When you are not doing just small talk, try to understand your conversational partner and make matching statements.
• Be positive and optimistic. Try to always see the glass as half full. Whiners, complainers and negative people are no fun to be around, at least not for very long.
• Smile often. This goes hand in hand with being positive and optimistic. Pleasant people are a joy to be around. People who always walk around looking like their dog just died aren't. Smiling warms people up to you.
• If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. That might sound like something you would hear from your grandmother, but it is good advice. Even if people around you are denigrating someone, avoid being drawn into negative gossip. If pressed for an opinion just say something neutral like "Well she has always been nice to me", or "Perhaps he has personal issues that we can't understand".
• It helps a lot if you have a friend or two that is already popular.
• Be yourself. You'll make more friends that way.
• You can not control how people will react to you regardless of how much time you spend on your appearance. If you are basing your opinion of yourself on being popular, then there is the chance you can end up quite sad. Sometimes the really popular people are seldom happy because they criticize themselves too much or they treat others poorly because they have overgrown egos.
• Remember you have to love yourself before any can love you.
• Make a lot of new friends and hang out with them often.
• Hang out with some of the popular kids as well as the ones who are not popular.

[edit] Warnings

• Realize that your popularity will not get you through college, and may fade very quickly after high school. Popularity as a teen is no guarantee of popularity as an adult. Likewise, unpopular teens often grow up into popular adults. Many times in life the people you call nerds in school you'll call boss at work.
• Also, do not drop out of courses that you want to take just because you fear that people will not want to be friends with you. That could cut you off from a career that you may enjoy, and isn't helpful in the long run. If people leave you because of the courses you take, they aren't our friends and never were.
• Don't try to limit or change your feelings or personality just to be popular. If you find that to be popular, you have to act and think like other popular people, don't try to be popular. One should not let themselves become someone else simply to conform.
• Don’t do dangerous/stupid things in order to become popular, such as smoking, drinking, drunk driving, or illegal drugs. You’ll only be putting yourself at risk, and none of these things will make people think you are cool. Though you might temporarily appear cool to people who have problem-laden lives, you might be in danger. Think more about the big picture rather than that specific moment.
• Don't let people use you. Sometimes popular kids accept a new person just because they are rich and generous, smart and nice enough to help them or easy pickings and can be joked at. If you let them tread over you, then you'll never be truly part of the group.
• Do realize that being popular has its downsides. If you wish to be left alone, stick with being part of smaller groups, but who knows? Maybe you will find the far reaches of popularity your kind of thing.
• If the popular people at your school do the wrong things, such as smoking, alcohol, or drugs, you'll be better off to not be popular at all. You cannot change these people, and they'll resent you if you try. You'll only make yourself miserable by getting yourself into a vicious cycle, and you can get in deep trouble just for hanging around them.
• Popularity can really change a person on the inside, so don't let it change you!

"Who are you?"

As all living beings desire to be happy always, without misery, as in the case of everyone there is observed supreme love for one's self, and as happiness alone is the cause for love, in order to gain that happiness which is one's nature and which is experienced in the state of deep sleep where there is no mind, one should know one's self. For that, the path of knowledge, the inquiry of the form "Who am I?", is the principal means.




1 . Who am I ?

The gross body which is composed of the seven humours (dhatus), I am not; the five cognitive sense organs, viz. the senses of hearing, touch, sight, taste, and smell, which apprehend their respective objects, viz. sound, touch, colour, taste, and odour, I am not; the five cognitive sense-organs, viz. the organs of speech, locomotion, grasping, excretion, and procreation, which have as their respective functions speaking, moving, grasping, excreting, and enjoying, I am not; the five vital airs, prana, etc., which perform respectively the five functions of in-breathing, etc., I am not; even the mind which thinks, I am not; the nescience too, which is endowed only with the residual impressions of objects, and in which there are no objects and no functioning's, I am not.

2. If I am none of these, then who am I?

After negating all of the above-mentioned as 'not this', 'not this', that Awareness which alone remains - that I am.

3. What is the nature of Awareness?

The nature of Awareness is existence-consciousness-bliss

4. When will the realization of the Self be gained?

When the world which is what-is-seen has been removed, there will be realization of the Self which is the seer.

5. Will there not be realization of the Self even while the world is there (taken as real)?

There will not be.

6. Why?

The seer and the object seen are like the rope and the snake. Just as the knowledge of the rope which is the substrate will not arise unless the false knowledge of the illusory serpent goes, so the realization of the Self which is the substrate will not be gained unless the belief that the world is real is removed.

7. When will the world which is the object seen be removed?

When the mind, which is the cause of all cognition's and of all actions, becomes quiescent, the world will disappear.

8. What is the nature of the mind?

What is called 'mind' is a wondrous power residing in the Self. It causes all thoughts to arise. Apart from thoughts, there is no such thing as mind. Therefore, thought is the nature of mind. Apart from thoughts, there is no independent entity called the world. In deep sleep there are no thoughts, and there is no world. In the states of waking and dream, there are thoughts, and there is a world also. Just as the spider emits the thread (of the web) out of itself and again withdraws it into itself, likewise the mind projects the world out of itself and again resolves it into itself. When the mind comes out of the Self, the world appears. Therefore, when the world appears (to be real), the Self does not appear; and when the Self appears (shines) the world does not appear. When one persistently inquires into the nature of the mind, the mind will end leaving the Self (as the residue). What is referred to as the Self is the Atman. The mind always exists only in dependence on something gross; it cannot stay alone. It is the mind that is called the subtle body or the soul (jiva).

9. What is the path of inquiry for understanding the nature of the mind?

That which rises as 'I' in this body is the mind. If one inquires as to where in the body the thought 'I' rises first, one would discover that it rises in the heart. That is the place of the mind's origin. Even if one thinks constantly 'I' 'I', one will be led to that place. Of all the thoughts that arise in the mind, the 'I' thought is the first. It is only after the rise of this that the other thoughts arise. It is after the appearance of the first personal pronoun that the second and third personal pronouns appear; without the first personal pronoun there will not be the second and third.

10. How will the mind become quiescent?

By the inquiry 'Who am I?'. The thought 'who am I?' will destroy all other thoughts, and like the stick used for stirring the burning pyre, it will itself in the end get destroyed. Then, there will arise Self-realization.

11. What is the means for constantly holding on to the thought 'Who am I?'

When other thoughts arise, one should not pursue them, but should inquire: 'To whom do they arise?' It does not matter how many thoughts arise. As each thought arises, one should inquire with diligence, "To whom has this thought arisen?". The answer that would emerge would be "To me". Thereupon if one inquires "Who am I?", the mind will go back to its source; and the thought that arose will become quiescent. With repeated practice in this manner, the mind will develop the skill to stay in its source. When the mind that is subtle goes out through the brain and the sense-organs, the gross names and forms appear; when it stays in the heart, the names and forms disappear. Not letting the mind go out, but retaining it in the Heart is what is called "inwardness" (antar-mukha). Letting the mind go out of the Heart is known as "externalisation" (bahir-mukha). Thus, when the mind stays in the Heart, the 'I' which is the source of all thoughts will go, and the Self which ever exists will shine. Whatever one does, one should do without the egoity "I". If one acts in that way, all will appear as of the nature of Siva (God).

12. Are there no other means for making the mind quiescent?

Other than inquiry, there are no adequate means. If through other means it is sought to control the mind, the mind will appear to be controlled, but will again go forth. Through the control of breath also, the mind will become quiescent; but it will be quiescent only so long as the breath remains controlled, and when the breath resumes the mind also will again start moving and will wander as impelled by residual impressions. The source is the same for both mind and breath. Thought, indeed, is the nature of the mind. The thought "I" is the first thought of the mind; and that is egoity. It is from that whence egoity originates that breath also originates. Therefore, when the mind becomes quiescent, the breath is controlled, and when the breath is controlled the mind becomes quiescent. But in deep sleep, although the mind becomes quiescent, the breath does not stop. This is because of the will of God, so that the body may be preserved and other people may not be under the impression that it is dead. In the state of waking and in samadhi, when the mind becomes quiescent the breath is controlled. Breath is the gross form of mind. Till the time of death, the mind keeps breath in the body; and when the body dies the mind takes the breath along with it. Therefore, the exercise of breath-control is only an aid for rendering the mind quiescent (manonigraha); it will not destroy the mind (manonasa).

Like the practice of breath-control. meditation on the forms of God, repetition of mantras, restriction on food, etc., are but aids for rendering the mind quiescent.

Through meditation on the forms of God and through repetition of mantras, the mind becomes one-pointed. The mind will always be wandering. Just as when a chain is given to an elephant to hold in its trunk it will go along grasping the chain and nothing else, so also when the mind is occupied with a name or form it will grasp that alone. When the mind expands in the form of countless thoughts, each thought becomes weak; but as thoughts get resolved the mind becomes one-pointed and strong; for such a mind Self-inquiry will become easy. Of all the restrictive rules, that relating to the taking of sattvic food in moderate quantities is the best; by observing this rule, the sattvic quality of mind will increase, and that will be helpful to Self-inquiry.

13. The residual impressions (thoughts) of objects appear wending like the waves of an ocean. When will all of them get destroyed?

As the meditation on the Self rises higher and higher, the thoughts will get destroyed.

14. Is it possible for the residual impressions of objects that come from beginningless time, as it were, to be resolved, and for one to remain as the pure Self?

Without yielding to the doubt "Is it possible, or not?", one should persistently hold on to the meditation on the Self. Even if one be a great sinner, one should not worry and weep "O! I am a sinner, how can I be saved?"; one should completely renounce the thought "I am a sinner"; and concentrate keenly on meditation on the Self; then, one would surely succeed. There are not two minds - one good and the other evil; the mind is only one. It is the residual impressions that are of two kinds - auspicious and inauspicious. When the mind is under the influence of auspicious impressions it is called good; and when it is under the influence of inauspicious impressions it is regarded as evil.

The mind should not be allowed to wander towards worldly objects and what concerns other people. However bad other people may be, one should bear no hatred for them. Both desire and hatred should be eschewed. All that one gives to others one gives to one's self. If this truth is understood who will not give to others? When one's self arises all arises; when one's self becomes quiescent all becomes quiescent. To the extent we behave with humility, to that extent there will result good. If the mind is rendered quiescent, one may live anywhere.

15. How long should inquiry be practised?

As long as there are impressions of objects in the mind, so long the inquiry "Who am I?" is required. As thoughts arise they should be destroyed then and there in the very place of their origin, through inquiry. If one resorts to contemplation of the Self unintermittently, until the Self is gained, that alone would do. As long as there are enemies within the fortress, they will continue to sally forth; if they are destroyed as they emerge, the fortress will fall into our hands.

16. What is the nature of the Self?

What exists in truth is the Self alone. The world, the individual soul, and God are appearances in it. like silver in mother-of-pearl, these three appear at the same time, and disappear at the same time. The Self is that where there is absolutely no "I" thought. That is called "Silence". The Self itself is the world; the Self itself is "I"; the Self itself is God; all is Siva, the Self.

17. Is not everything the work of God?

Without desire, resolve, or effort, the sun rises; and in its mere presence, the sun-stone emits fire, the lotus blooms, water evaporates; people perform their various functions and then rest. Just as in the presence of the magnet the needle moves, it is by virtue of the mere presence of God that the souls governed by the three (cosmic) functions or the fivefold divine activity perform their actions and then rest, in accordance with their respective karmas. God has no resolve; no karma attaches itself to Him. That is like worldly actions not affecting the sun, or like the merits and demerits of the other four elements not affecting all pervading space.

18. Of the devotees, who is the greatest?

He who gives himself up to the Self that is God is the most excellent devotee. Giving one's self up to God means remaining constantly in the Self without giving room for the rise of any thoughts other than that of the Self. Whatever burdens are thrown on God, He bears them. Since the supreme power of God makes all things move, why should we, without submitting ourselves to it, constantly worry ourselves with thoughts as to what should be done and how, and what should not be done and how not? We know that the train carries all loads, so after getting on it why should we carry our small luggage on our head to our discomfort, instead of putting it down in the train and feeling at ease?

19. What is non-attachment?

As thoughts arise, destroying them utterly without any residue in the very place of their origin is non-attachment. Just as the pearl-diver ties a stone to his waist, sinks to the bottom of the sea and there takes the pearls, so each one of us should be endowed with non-attachment, dive within oneself and obtain the Self-Pearl.

20. Is it not possible for God and the Guru to effect the release of a soul?

God and the Guru will only show the way to release; they will not by themselves take the soul to the state of release. In truth, God and the Guru are not different. Just as the prey which has fallen into the jaws of a tiger has no escape, so those who have come within the ambit of the Guru's gracious look will be saved by the Guru and will not get lost; yet, each one should by his own effort pursue the path shown by God or Guru and gain release. One can know oneself only with one's own eye of knowledge, and not with somebody else's. Does he who is Rama require the help of a mirror to know that he is Rama?

21. Is it necessary for one who longs for release to inquire into the nature of categories (tattvas)?

Just as one who wants to throw away garbage has no need to analyse it and see what it is, so one who wants to know the Self has no need to count the number of categories or inquire into their characteristics; what he has to do is to reject altogether the categories that hide the Self. The world should be considered like a dream.

22. Is there no difference between waking and dream?

Waking is long and a dream short; other than this there is no difference. Just as waking happenings seem real while awake. so do those in a dream while dreaming. In dream the mind takes on another body. In both waking and dream states thoughts. names and forms occur simultaneously.

23. Is it any use reading books for those who long for release?

All the texts say that in order to gain release one should render the mind quiescent; therefore their conclusive teaching is that the mind should be rendered quiescent; once this has been understood there is no need for endless reading. In order to quieten the mind one has only to inquire within oneself what one's Self is; how could this search be done in books? One should know one's Self with one's own eye of wisdom. The Self is within the five sheaths; but books are outside them. Since the Self has to be inquired into by discarding the five sheaths, it is futile to search for it in books. There will come a time when one will have to forget all that one has learned.

24. What is happiness?

Happiness is the very nature of the Self; happiness and the Self are not different. There is no happiness in any object of the world. We imagine through our ignorance that we derive happiness from objects. When the mind goes out, it experiences misery. In truth, when its desires are fulfilled, it returns to its own place and enjoys the happiness that is the Self. Similarly, in the states of sleep, samadhi and fainting, and when the object desired is obtained or the object disliked is removed, the mind becomes inward-turned, and enjoys pure Self-Happiness. Thus the mind moves without rest alternately going out of the Self and returning to it. Under the tree the shade is pleasant; out in the open the heat is scorching. A person who has been going about in the sun feels cool when he reaches the shade. Someone who keeps on going from the shade into the sun and then back into the shade is a fool. A wise man stays permanently in the shade. Similarly, the mind of the one who knows the truth does not leave Brahman. The mind of the ignorant, on the contrary, revolves in the world, feeling miserable, and for a little time returns to Brahman to experience happiness. In fact, what is called the world is only thought. When the world disappears, i.e. when there is no thought, the mind experiences happiness; and when the world appears, it goes through misery.

25. What is wisdom-insight (jnana-drsti)?

Remaining quiet is what is called wisdom-insight. To remain quiet is to resolve the mind in the Self. Telepathy, knowing past, present and future happenings and clairvoyance do not constitute wisdom-insight.

26. What is the relation between desirelessness and wisdom?

Desirelessness is wisdom. The two are not different; they are the same. Desirelessness is refraining from turning the mind towards any object. Wisdom means the appearance of no object. In other words, not seeking what is other than the Self is detachment or desirelessness; not leaving the Self is wisdom.

27. What is the difference between inquiry and meditation?

Inquiry consists in retaining the mind in the Self. Meditation consists in thinking that one's self is Brahman, existence-consciousness-bliss.

28. What is release?

Inquiring into the nature of one's self that is in bondage, and realising one's true nature is release.

The Teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi