Friday, November 30, 2007


To be beautiful on the outside we should be better beautiful in the inside because what's in the inside reflects on our outside appearance(physically).

Always put a smile on your face.Smile that comes from the heart that's genuine makes anyone extremely beautiful.
The Art of Personality Development

Man does not like to stagnate, he always likes to develop into something better. There are some ways to achieve this metamorphosis in one's personality. If one were to understand these basic rules, one can develop him into anything he aspires for.
The first step to this is planning. Make a clear plan of what you want to be and how you want to go about achieving it. A plan should be clear, focused and practical.
Then put your plan into imagination.
Here you would find it strange why you first plan and they’re after image. You might have noticed that people sometimes come with solutions to grave problems in deep sleep. It so happens that they have gone through the same situation over and over again in their imagination, to reach the stage when the subconscious minds itself comes up with the solutions. To bring any planning into reality it has to be propelled by the energy of imagination.
Sound planning and imagination coupled with determination and perseverance can turn any dream into reality.
There are some people who get an intimation of their diseases or even death much in advance. The reason is that whatever is to take place in the material plane first manifests itself in the immaterial plane and whatever we see and feel by our five senses is incomparably small to what we can see or feel by our inner conscience. Today, modern science has created devices by which we can get to know of diseases much before they manifest themselves in the human body.
Live and livelihood is two sides of the same coin. Today's education has become completely job-oriented and hence man advances in his field of work, but it is at the cost of his mental peace. This leads to a divided personality.
How could a man look if his one arm was longer than the other was? Intellectual and science of living (Jeevan Vigyan ) should go hand in hand or else an imbalanced personality would result..
There are five steps to fuller life and complete personality.
Healthy body
Healthy mind
Healthy thoughts
Will power
Work efficiency
Whilst, the first three are vital to a good life , the last two are vital to earning a good living . It is true that the external appearances of a person can make its personality. However the proper functioning of the nervous and the glands are even more important in the development of a complete personality. Enough the proper functioning of the thyroid glands are very important to personality development. A person whose thyroid glands produce less than sufficient thyroxin will become easily irritable his capacity to memorize decreases and so does his capacity to make decisions. If on the other hand thyroxin is produced in greater quantity then anxiety and anger will become more prominent.
Henceforth any of these above mentioned problems can be a sign that the thyroid glands are not absolutely and habits is usually the effect of the nervous systems. If a person or a child becomes violent for trivial matters then it could be suspected that the sympathetic nervous system is not functioning well.
Praksha Dhyana is a method to balance the thyroid glands and the nervous systems. Tejas Kendra (naval region ) is the place where prana energy is generated .
If one is made to mediate upon this region then fear can be get rid of .,
1. Dirgha - Svasa Prakash techniques - Perception of slow and deep breathing
2. Samvarti Svasa Prakash i.e. perception of breathing method in which breath is to be inhaled with the left nostril and then exhaled with the right nostril and then again inhaled with the left. The process is then continued for 5-10 minutes.
3. By creating awareness for our Svasa (Breath ) we can balance our nervous system. Perfection in thoughts is an absolute foolproof method to personality development.
Determination and willpower alone can make an ordinary person a giant personality. Purity of thoughts are factors that can increase willpower and determination. If the will power has to be increased, then it is essential to be away from feelings such as jealousy, false allegations, small talks etc .
Today a misconception has come up in today's world that intellectual and mental development are considered one and the same. Both these are separate facts as intelligence and mind are not one and the same thing. Thinking is not in itself a very big art, instead this is a natural activity of
the brain . The main source of energy is the development of willpower .
An important milestone of personality development is purification of emotions. For purification of emotion Darshan Kendra ( the region between the brows) and Jyoti Kendra ( centre of the forehead ) should be mediated upon .
It cannot be said that practicing mediations will bring immediate results or miraculous changes in one personality. Curing even a common physical ailment can take a long time and we are aiming to cure a mental disease. From time to time one should perform self-assessment and see how much progress been made in personality development.
If a man changes his profession too often, it is because he lacks concentration . The true reason for the economic success of Japan is its concept of concentration. They first study their subject in mind thoroughly then they acquire a complete training in the same; only then do they go into production, wherein they improve constantly upon methods leading to a greater yield of production. Indeed they have used the secret of mediation in the field of their work. Their quest is how to increase their efficient and yield greater output. The answer to this they found is concentrated thing i.e. mediations.
Focusing coupled with determination is the prime requisite to turn our planning into reality. The personality that will be akin to a gold crown studded with jewels.
5 Ways To Stay Focused On Your Goals
No matter how excited you are about your business, with so many distractions and things that may be going on in your life, you can easily find yourself losing focus on your goals and what you want to accomplish.
Below you will find 5 things that will help you stay focused on your goals.
You probably have heard the saying, "So many things to do and not enough time to do them." Even though that may be true, you still have to complete them all, especially if these things help you to reach your goals. To make it easier for you, just take 1 thing you have to do and complete that task until it is done. When it is done, you will feel a sense of accomplishment and it will motivate you to move on to your next task.
Take a moment to put things in order. If people write to you or send you orders in the mail, make 3 piles. Put the letters that need to be answered right away in the 1st pile. Letters that can be answered at a later date you can put in the 2nd pile and letters that have orders in them, you can put in the 3rd pile. Doing things like this in other areas of your life will help you keep things in priority and keep you focused on your goals.
If you find yourself at times having a negative attitude, you must realize that the way you look at things can make all the difference when it comes to reaching your goals. Even when obstacles stand in your way, maintaining a positive attitude, not a negative one and knowing that things can and will get better, will help you stay on track in reaching your goals.
Everything in life, if it is worth it, will take time. This goes for the goals you set for yourself. When you set goals, you should set 2 types of goals. A short term goal such as 6 months and also a long range goal, such as 3 years. You must realize that you are not going to reach your long term goals in 2 weeks. Whatever your goals may be, only through hard work, determination and keeping yourself focused, this is the way you will eventually reach your goals.
Reading articles, books or even listening to cassette tapes on motivation is a must if you want to keep yourself focused on your goals. Many successful people will tell you that even when they wanted to give up and throw in the towel, a paragraph in a book or something a motivational speaker said put them back on the right track and helped them reach their goals. So if you want to stay focused on your goals, take these 5 points and put them into action today.Can You Hear Yourself Lead? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you find days turning into weeks, which turn into years and suddenly you're not sure where it's all gone? Does it seem like your no longer navigating your own life but your life and your schedule are navigating you instead? Can you hear yourself lead? If this describes you, stop. Just stop. Stand still, be still, and let yourself remember what the silence feels like. So often in the world we call business, we go so fast we lose our ability to keep up when, in fact, keeping up is impossible. Simply put, if you're caught up, you're out of business. Business is the competitive pull and push that can kick our navigational system clean out of whack. To get back in control, you have to stop and listen.We are taught to listen to everyone else. That listening is the greater asset. However, we are never taught to listen to ourselves. Creativity dies in the face of too much noise. Without creativity everything in your life suffers, including your business. Sometimes the most important person to listen to is Yes, you have something to say but if you never stop to listen you won't ever get back to navigating again. So here's what you can do to put yourself back in the driver's seat :
1. Start the day by emptying your emotions into a journal. Let all the emotional garbage out on paper. Now, don't read it. Ever. Too hard to do? Rip it up and throw it away. This is just a tool to get the frustrations processed and out of your life so you can move on. So you can hear yourself think again. Sometimes our lives get filled up with everyone else's chatter. This helps us empty that out.
2. Take 15 minutes out of the middle of your day and rest. Just stop everything. Go to a room; take off the phone, the fax, the instant messenger and the ringer on your email. Find a place where you won't be bothered and stop. Take ten deep breaths. Let your mind empty. Try to spend at least five minutes of the fifteen thinking of nothing. Don't laugh, it's really hard to do. Think of nothing. Empty your brain and give your soul a rest.
3. Walk. Walking doesn't just exercise your body, it relaxes your soul. Walk with a friend, or walk alone, but walk. This isn't about exercise, it's about letting your mind breath, outside, in the rain, in the sun, in the the fresh air. It works!
4. Okay, this is the most important. At the end of the day, spend another 15 minutes writing down all the advice that was given to you today. All those noteworthy, seemingly wise bits of advice that get hurled at us everyday. It doesn't matter where they came from, a book, a phone call, a radio station.. doesn't matter. If you can remember it write it down. Now read them all. Do any of them feel adverse to your own feelings and thoughts? Great, cross them out and forget them. Learn to trust that some things will work for you and some things won't. Once you have learned this principle you will find yourself getting back into the drivers seat of your own life again.
Remember you're important too and you are the only one that lives the results and consequences of your own life. Be gentle with yourself and take the time to take the time. Suddenly hours will screech back to normal speed, life will feel worth the effort, and your goals will be realized again.
Every day is a new day in our life. There is much to do today. The early morning sun inspires us to start things freshly and put back our past. Only a handful of us make use of this fresh bunch of energy. In various walks of life this affects the way we behave and our confidence level. Confidence is a key to survive in this world. It is the only key tool to win the rat race in every walk of life. Confidence in ones own capabilities combined with sincere efforts helps one to achieve unthinkable heights. But many times we see that this basic element of confidence is missing in us. As a result of lack of confidence we perform well below our caliber. Be it in a public speech, proposing your beloved, vivas in your college or in an interview or say even on the eve before your exams. This can be due to fear of being rejected or any other reason.
If we look into our hearts and think, we will come to know that fear inside us is going to get us nowhere. The confidence inside us is going to take us places. This is because with confidence we can put our thoughts into words in a better and pleasing way. So we have to get out of that shell where we think whether people will accept us as we are? Instead of living in these unending moments of fear and thoughtless analysis it is better if we project ourselves with the skills we have with the gloss of confidence. With confidence we can portray the finer points of our personality in such a way that the places where we do lack are never highlighted. Confidence should glow in us only till the point where our personality is boosted. Above this it leads to over-confidence that is harmful.
Over confidence results in unsatisfied performance levels as the seed of ego grows into a plant into our mind. We then imagine and make big talks just to maintain our ego. So guys don't let the seed of ego to germinate in your mind, as this seed should be used only for you to live up to your expectations.
Confidence is all about being cool, calm and composed.
So guys do u have it in you? If u think u don't, boost up yourselves as your mind is your greatest mentor .You are your greatest helper.
Different Strokes Of Our Duties
Life teaches us to live. To live, you have to exist. To exist, you should have a passport to this living world.
Thanks your parents, who brought you into this world.
Parents have taken care of us and satisfied all our needs. They helped whenever we were hungry, afraid or ill. They were always there by you, whenever you needed them. You almost assumed that they will always be there for you and never thought of how your life would be without them. But as you grow up, age also catches up with your parents and they need your help and support.
Man is a child first, after which he attains his youth. After youth he again goes through the second phase of childhood, also called as old age. This is the phase where everyone needs a comfort of a sense of belonging and being taken care of. Wouldn't we all expect the same sense of security when we grow old? Even our parents are expecting us to be their caretaker, as they grow old. But they never make that obvious to us. They do their further duty by taking care of their grandchildren, paying e-bills, giving the clothes for laundry etc.
Isn't it unfair on our part that we aren't giving them what they need the most? It is our prime duty to take the very best care of them. It's our pay back time. Lets give the same sense of emotional security, care and love to our parents in their old age. Some of us mistreat our parents and consider them more of a liability than an asset.
Some of us move away from them, though our conscience pricks us. We err in our duties for not being dutiful. This guilty feeling is further wrapped into a sense of regret, when we will be treated in the same way by our future generation. After all you only get what you deserve. Don't you?
Let's keep in mind that to be a manager, husband or father, we first have to be a son.
One of the greatest virtues of human beings is their ability to think and act accordingly. The emergence of the techno savvy man from the tree swinging ape has really been a long journey. This transition has taken a span of countless centuries and lots of thinking caps have been involved. Inquisitiveness and aspiration to come out with the best have been the pillars for man's quest for development. Self-motivation is the sheer force, which pulled him apart and distinguished him from his primitive ancestors.
Many times, in our life, when we are reviving old memories we get into a phase of nostalgia. We feel that we could have done better than what we had achieved. Be it thinking about that nerve shattering school result, because of which you couldn't get into your favorite stream or that single mark, which could have secured you a merit seat in your engineering college. But thinking back wont rewind the tireless worker called time. All we can do is promise ourselves that we will give our very best in the future. But do we really keep up to our mental commitments? I can guess that 90% answers are in the negative. This is because of that creepy careless attitude which is slowly, but surely entering into the mind of teenagers like us. We easily forget the pains of yesterday to relish the joys of today. This is the only time in our life, when we can control our fate, by controlling our mind. So it is time to pull up our socks and really motivate ourselves so that we can give our best shot in the future. Self-motivation is the need of the hour. Only we can control and restrict ourselves. Its upto us, how we use our mental capabilities to the best of our abilities.
Here are some Funda's for self-motivation. Don't just read them digest each one of them and apply them and I bet it will make a better YOU.
The ultimate motivator is defeat. Once you are defeated, you have nowhere to go except the top.Then only thing stopping you is yourself.
There is no guarantee that tomorrow will come.So do it today. Intentions don't count, but action's do. Don't let who you are, stunt what you want to be.
Success is the greatest motivator. Your goals must be clear, but the guidelines must be flexible.
Try to include these one liners in your scrapbook or on your favorite poster. You will be sub-consciously tuned to achieve what you want. Also do keep in mind that nothing can control your destiny but you!
The Power Of Expressions
Expressions are a way of giving some life to the thoughts and feelings inside us. When you cry, u express sadness and disappointment. When you catch a good joke, you laugh a lot and express the pleasure.
Expressions are a part and parcel of every human being on this earth. Every person has the right to express himself. It is only through expressions that one can achieve a harmony between the physical exterior and the mental core. It is a way of giving life to your thoughts and feelings. But not everyone expresses freely. The main reasons are the barriers we have created within ourselves. We always think of what the world would think of us. Because of this we restrain ourselves from laughingly completely, tilting our head, or even scratching our ears! We try to be not what we are, but what we think will appeal to the world. Hardly do we realize that the world is just like us. It will be busy thinking of what we will think of it, rather than analyzing our actions.
When one expresses one self freely, it's the ultimate satisfaction for the mind. This is because the physical hardware of the human body is faithfully supporting its mental software. The person then is always comfortable anywhere with anyone and at anytime! If one doesn't express properly, it wont make the sun rise in the west, but it will only lead to increased frustrations. When frustrations increase, efficiency decreases and a person starts blaming the world, god or anyone in general. Well to practically speak of expressions, once you start using them in your normal day to day life, u will get used to them. Also people around you will get used to your expressions. When the doyen of Indian film industry Mr. Amitabh Bachchan came into the movies, he had one eye smaller than the other. He however carried on without being self conscious about it and captured the heart of countless Indians dead and alive. Also Sylvester Stallone, who is the famous Mr. Big Muscles from Hollywood was actually having some mental problems in his childhood. Even now look at his eyes and you will get a rare glimpse. But then he came above all that and now you can all see how big he has become. If you are angry at some one, let him know. If you admire someone, let that person know. If you love someone, let her know, because life is too short to keep these things as secret. Express yourself and spice up your life.
Watch Out Before You Speak
Communication in any form is used for exchange of information. The links called words make communication work. Without words its difficult to imagine how we could have come so long in the history of human evolution. Word is not only a 4-letter thing, but it is something deeper than that.
Whenever a word is uttered it is due to synchronization of lip movement and tongue movement. To get out that word from our mouth, a lot of thinking and analysis has been happening in our sub conscious mind. We don't realize it because all this happens in less than one millionth of a second. Most of the times we don't think over what we have uttered. Word is not only a link, but it initiates response from the listener.
The word, which we have uttered, acts on every part of the listener's body. Like if u share a joke using a group of words, u make the listener to laugh. He may pound his hands and fist and then calm down. The very word which u have uttered has allowed him to flush his emotions out in the form of laughter or smile. If you talk about a tragic incident, the listener may close his eyes for a second and offer his condolences. Words uttered vibrate on the mind of the listener. It acts on his mind. Selection and thought prior to communication is very important.
Sometimes we say things which we shouldn't have or we carelessly utter unwanted words (mind you I am not talking of abuses). These things may affect the other person emotionally and mentally. For us it would have been just a matter of second to wag our tongue, but for the listener it is going to be the only thing at the back of his mind. By using unwanted words or speaking more than necessary, we not only hurt someone, but we also add a spot of dust to our social image. Your future interaction with the person may be based on that single word. Using proper words while talking is just like selecting the items listed out by your mom from the supermarket. You select the best brand from the specific domain, where your item is found.
So guys watch before you speak because the actions of the listener may be louder than your words!

To know that i could bring hope to someones life brings me joy & happiness

"To anyone who needs advice with their problems & want to know the real "YOU" i'd like to help in a way that could help you improve how you see things that are presently going in your life.To tell honestly,i do not have any educational background in psychology or in any related course but i'm confident enough to say that with my own experiences in life i could be a great help to anyone who needs it.I'm very willing & happy to help,just send me your questions.I'm going to make time to answer."

Children are the wealth of the future & pride of their parents,each child is special in their own unique way.

What is ADHD?

ADHD or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder .

ADHD is a common behavioral disorder that affects an estimated 8% to 10% of school-age children. Boys are about three times more likely than girls to be diagnosed with it, though it's not yet understood why. Children with ADHD act without thinking, are hyperactive, and have trouble focusing. They may understand what's expected of them but have trouble following through because they can't sit still, pay attention, or attend to details.
Of course, all children (especially younger ones) act this way at times, particularly when they're anxious or excited. But the difference with ADHD is that symptoms are present over a longer period of time and occur in different settings. They impair a child's ability to function socially, academically, and at home.
The good news is, with proper treatment, children with ADHD can learn to successfully live with and manage their symptoms.
What Are the Symptoms?
ADHD used to be known as attention deficit disorder, or ADD. In 1994, it was renamed ADHD and broken down into three subtypes, each with its own pattern of behaviors:
1. an inattentive type, with signs that include:
inability to pay attention to details or a tendency to make careless errors in schoolwork or other activities
difficulty with sustained attention in tasks or play activities
apparent listening problems
difficulty following instructions
problems with organization
avoidance or dislike of tasks that require mental effort
tendency to lose things like toys, notebooks, or homework
forgetfulness in daily activities
2. a hyperactive-impulsive type, with signs that include:
fidgeting or squirming
difficulty remaining seated
excessive running or climbing
difficulty playing quietly
always seeming to be "on the go"
excessive talking
blurting out answers before hearing the full question
difficulty waiting for a turn or in line
problems with interrupting or intruding

3. a combined type, which involves a combination of the other two types and is the most common
Although it can often be challenging to raise kids with ADHD, it's important to remember they aren't "bad," "acting out," or being difficult on purpose. And children who are diagnosed with ADHD have difficulty controlling their behavior without medication or behavioral therapy.
How Is It Diagnosed?
Most cases of ADHD are treated by primary care doctors. Because there's no test that can determine the presence of ADHD, a diagnosis depends on a complete evaluation. When the diagnosis is in doubt, or if there are other concerns, such as Tourette syndrome, a learning disability, or depression, a child may be referred to a neurologist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. Ultimately, though, the primary care doctor gathers the information, makes the diagnosis, and starts treatment.
To be considered for a diagnosis of ADHD:
a child must display behaviors from one of the three subtypes before age 7
these behaviors must be more severe than in other kids the same age
the behaviors must last for at least 6 months
the behaviors must occur in and negatively affect at least two areas of a child's life (such as school, home, day-care settings, or friendships)
The behaviors must also not be linked to stress at home. Children who have experienced a
divorce, a move, an illness, a change in school, or other significant life event may suddenly begin to act out or become forgetful. To avoid a misdiagnosis, it's important to consider whether these factors played a role in the onset of symptoms
First, your child's doctor will perform a physical examination of your child and ask you about any concerns and symptoms, your child's past health, your family's health, any medications your child is taking, any allergies your child may have, and other issues. This is called the medical history, and it's important because research has shown that ADHD has a strong genetic link and often runs in families.
Your child's doctor may also perform a physical exam as well as tests to check
hearing and vision so other medical conditions can be ruled out. Because some emotional conditions, such as extreme stress, depression, and anxiety, can also look like ADHD, you'll probably be asked to fill out questionnaires that can help rule them out as well.
You'll also likely be asked many questions about your child's development and his or her behaviors at home, at school, and among friends. Other adults who see your child regularly (like teachers, who are often the first to notice ADHD symptoms) will probably be consulted, too. An educational evaluation, which usually includes a school psychologist, may also be done. It's important for everyone involved to be as honest and thorough as possible about your child's strengths and weaknesses.

What Causes ADHD?
ADHD is not caused by poor parenting, too much
sugar, or vaccines.
ADHD has biological origins that aren't yet clearly understood. No single cause of ADHD has been identified, but researchers have been exploring a number of possible
genetic and environmental links. Studies have shown that many children with ADHD have a close relative who also has the disorder.
Although experts are unsure whether this is a cause of the disorder, they have found that certain areas of the
brain are about 5% to 10% smaller in size and activity in children with ADHD. Chemical changes in the brain have been found as well.
Recent research also links
smoking during pregnancy to later ADHD in a child. Other risk factors may include premature delivery, very low birth weight, and injuries to the brain at birth.
Some studies have even suggested a link between excessive early
television watching and future attention problems. Parents should follow the American Academy of Pediatrics' (AAP) guidelines, which say that children under 2 years old should not have any "screen time" (TV, DVDs or videotapes, computers, or video games) and that kids 2 years and older should be limited to 1 to 2 hours per day, or less, of quality television programming.
What Are Some Related Problems?
One of the difficulties in diagnosing ADHD is that it's often found in conjunction with other problems. These are called coexisting conditions, and about two thirds of all children with ADHD have one. The most common coexisting conditions are:
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and Conduct Disorder (CD)
At least 35% of all children with ADHD also have oppositional defiant disorder, which is characterized by stubbornness, outbursts of temper, and acts of defiance and rule breaking. Conduct disorder is similar but features more severe hostility and aggression. Children who have conduct disorder are more likely get in trouble with authority figures and, later, possibly with the law. Oppositional defiant disorder and conduct disorder are seen most commonly with the hyperactive and combined subtypes of ADHD.
Mood Disorders (such as depression)
About 18% of children with ADHD, particularly the inattentive subtype, also experience depression. They may feel inadequate, isolated, frustrated by school failures and social problems, and have low
Anxiety Disorders
Anxiety disorders affect about 25% of children with ADHD. Symptoms include excessive worry, fear, or panic, which can also lead to physical symptoms such as a racing heart, sweating, stomach pains, and diarrhea. Other forms of anxiety that can accompany ADHD are
obsessive-compulsive disorder and Tourette syndrome, as well as motor or vocal tics (movements or sounds that are repeated over and over). A child who has symptoms of these other conditions should be evaluated by a specialist.
Learning Disabilities
About half of all children with ADHD also have a specific learning disability. The most common learning problems are with reading (
dyslexia) and handwriting. Although ADHD isn't categorized as a learning disability, its interference with concentration and attention can make it even more difficult for a child to perform well in school.
If your child has ADHD and a coexisting condition, the doctor will carefully consider that when developing a treatment plan. Some treatments are better than others at addressing specific combinations of symptoms.
How Is It Treated?
ADHD can't be cured, but it can be successfully managed. Your child's doctor will work with you to develop an individualized, long-term plan. The goal is to help your child learn to control his or her own behavior and to help families create an atmosphere in which this is most likely to happen.
In most cases, ADHD is best treated with a combination of medication and behavior therapy. Any good treatment plan will require close follow-up and monitoring, and your child's doctor may make adjustments along the way. Because it's important for parents to actively participate in their child's treatment plan, parent education is also considered an important part of ADHD management.
Several different types of medications may be used to treat ADHD:
Stimulants are the best-known treatments - they've been used for more than 50 years in the treatment of ADHD. Some require several doses per day, each lasting about 4 hours; some last up to 12 hours. Possible side effects include decreased appetite, stomachache, irritability, and insomnia. There's currently no evidence of any long-term side effects.
Nonstimulants were approved for treating ADHD in 2003. These appear to have fewer side effects than stimulants and can last up to 24 hours.
Antidepressants are sometimes a treatment option; however, in 2004 the FDA issued a warning that these drugs may lead to a rare increased risk of suicide in children and teens. If an antidepressant is recommended for your child, be sure to discuss these risks with your doctor.
Medications can affect kids differently, and a child may respond well to one but not another. When determining the correct treatment for your child, the doctor might try various medications in various doses, especially if your child is being treated for ADHD along with another disorder.
Behavioral Therapy
Research has shown that medications used to help curb impulsive behavior and attention difficulties are more effective when they're combined with behavioral therapy.
Behavioral therapy attempts to change behavior patterns by:
reorganizing your child's home and school environment
giving clear directions and commands
setting up a system of consistent rewards for appropriate behaviors and negative consequences for inappropriate ones
Here are some examples of behavioral strategies that may help a child with ADHD:
Create a routine. Try to follow the same schedule every day, from wake-up timeto bedtime. Post the schedule in a prominent place, so your child can see where he or she is expected to be throughout the day and when it's time for homework, play, and chores.
Help your child organize. Put schoolbags, clothing, and toys in the same place every day so your child will be less likely to lose them.
Avoid distractions. Turn off the TV, radio, and computer games, especially when your child is doing homework.
Limit choices. Offer your child a choice between two things (this outfit, meal, toy, etc., or that one) so that he or she isn't overwhelmed and overstimulated.
Change your interactions with your child. Instead of long-winded explanations and cajoling, use clear, brief directions to remind your child of his or her responsibilities.
Use goals and rewards. Use a chart to list goals and track positive behaviors, then reward your child's efforts. Be sure the goals are realistic (think baby steps rather than overnight success).
Discipline effectively. Instead of yelling or spanking, use timeouts or removal of privileges as consequences for inappropriate behavior. Younger children may simply need to be distracted or ignored until they display better behavior.
Help your child discover a talent. All kids need to experience success to feel good about themselves. Finding out what your child does well - whether it's sports, art, or music - can boost social skills and self-esteem.

Alternative Treatments
Currently, the only ADHD therapies that have been proven effective in scientific studies are medications and behavioral therapy. But your child's doctor may recommend additional treatments and interventions depending on your child's symptoms and needs. Some kids with ADHD, for example, may also need special educational interventions such as tutoring,
occupational therapy, etc. Every child's needs are different.
A number of other alternative therapies are promoted and tried by parents including: megavitamins, body treatments, diet manipulation, allergy treatment, chiropractic treatment, attention training, visual training, and traditional one-on-one "talking" psychotherapy. However, the scientific research that has been done on these therapies has not found them to be effective, and most of these treatments have not been studied carefully, if at all.
Parents should always be wary of any therapy that promises an ADHD "cure," and if they're interested in trying something new, they should be sure to speak with their child's doctor first.

Parent Training
Parenting any child can be tough at times, but parenting a child with ADHD often brings special challenges. Children with ADHD may not respond well to typical parenting practices. Also, because ADHD tends to run in families, parents may also have some problems with organization and consistency themselves and need active coaching to help learn these skills.
Experts recommend parent education and support groups to help family members accept the diagnosis and to teach them how to help their child organize his or her environment, develop problem-solving skills, and cope with frustrations. Parent training can also teach parents to respond appropriately to their child's most trying behaviors and to use calm disciplining techniques. Individual or family counseling may also be helpful.
ADHD in the Classroom
As your child's most important advocate, you should become familiar with your child's medical, legal, and educational rights. Children with ADHD are eligible for
special services or accommodations at school under the Individuals with Disabilities in Education Act (IDEA) and an anti-discrimination law known as Section 504. Keep in touch with your child's teachers and school officials to monitor your child's progress and keep them informed about your child's needs.
In addition to using routines and a clear system of rewards, here are some other tips to share with teachers for classroom success:
Reduce seating distractions. Lessening distractions might be as simple as seating your child near the teacher instead of near the window.
Use a homework folder for parent-teacher communications. The teacher can include assignments and progress notes, and you can check to make sure all work is completed on time.
Break down assignments. Keep instructions clear and brief, breaking down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable pieces.
Give positive reinforcement. Always be on the lookout for positive behaviors. Ask the teacher to offer praise when your child stays seated, doesn't call out, or waits his or her turn, instead of criticizing when he or she doesn't.
Teach good study skills. Underlining, note taking, and reading out loud can help your child stay focused and retain information.
Supervise. Check that your child goes and comes from school with the correct books and materials. Ask that your child be paired with a buddy who can help him or her stay on task.
Be sensitive to self-esteem issues. Ask the teacher to provide feedback to your child in private, and avoid asking your child to perform a task in public that might be too difficult.
Involve the school counselor or psychologist. He or she can help design behavioral programs to address specific problems in the classroom.

Being Your Child's Biggest Supporter
You're a stronger advocate for your child when you foster good partnerships with everyone involved in your child's treatment - that includes teachers, doctors, therapists, and even other family members. Take advantage of all the support and education that's available, and you'll be able to help your child with ADHD navigate his or her way to success.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

SPECIAL CHILDREN are really special,accept & love them unconditionally


Autism is a life-long brain disorder that is normally diagnosed in early childhood.
People with autism have difficulties communicating, forming relationships with others and find it hard to make sense of the world around them.
Autism is a spectrum disorder varying in symptoms, severity and impact from person to person and ranging from those with no speech and limited cognitive ability to those of high IQ and typically highly-focused interests and abilities. Repetitive behaviours are common across the spectrum, which includes Asperger Syndrome. This is a form of autism in which speech development and IQ are normal, but in which social disability can be compounded by depression or other mental health problems.
Some people with autism demonstrate significantly challenging behaviours; most need specialist support and care.
A distinction is made in assessing the needs of people with autism between those who have an IQ of less than 70, who are described as low functioning and classified as learning disabled, and those who have an IQ above 70 who are often described as high functioning.
Boys are four times more likely to be diagnosed with autism than girls.
In total more than half a million people in the UK have an autism spectrum disorder.
Autism affects people of all racial, ethnic and socio-economic backgrounds.
There are estimated to be around 540,000 people with an autistic spectrum disorder in the UK.
Autism in Infants & Toddlers: What Should you Look for?
Today, it’s really not possible to diagnose an infant younger than 18 months with autism. If you are concerned, however, you can always monitor and track your child’s growth and development milestones.
There are some very useful checklists as well as growth and development tables available at for children of all ages. These milestones do not apply to just autism.
You should look to see if your infant is not meeting any of these normal milestones. It is important to remember, however, that all children and infants develop at a different pace. Just because your infant does not reach a certain milestone on the normal cycle does not mean your child has autism or any other condition, it just might mean you should consult your physician.
Autism Symptoms and Signs
People with Autism Spectrum Disorders may have problems with social, emotional, and communication skills. They might repeat certain behaviors and might not want change in their daily activities.
Many people with Autism Spectrum Disorders also have different ways of learning, paying attention, or reacting to things. Autism Spectrum Disorders begin during early childhood and last throughout a person’s life.
Autism Symtoms & Characteristics: Social Skills
A child with autism often has great difficulty with social interaction. Parents may be the first to notice that their child seems indifferent to interacting with them. For many children with autism, the social world seems confusing and unpredictable.
Children with autism don’t just experience difficulties in social situations, but struggles in everyday life. Most children with autism don’t understand normal social cues. Facial expressions and tone of voice are problematic to interpret and display. And while not universal, regulating their emotions can often be challenging. They may show signs of distress for no apparent reason. Crying, verbal outbursts, and physical harm to themselves and others are probable.
Diagnosing Autism: How a Diagnosis of Autism is Determined
Autism has a wide variety of symptoms that can range from mild to severe. Autism or Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) can be misdiagnosed. Classic autism has a core of symptoms that include:
-Impaired ability to engage socially-Impaired ability to initiate or maintain a conversation-Inability to play appropriately or use imagination-Stereotyped, unusual, repetitive use of language or behavior (flapping, spinning)-Abnormal or intense focus on certain subjects or objects-Inflexible adherence to certain routines and rituals.
Autism Symptoms - Communications
For children with autism, communicating with others can be quite a challenge. Verbal and nonverbalmmunication skills can be impaired, making everyday interaction a difficult task for the child, his peers, and family. Facial expressions, tone of voice, gestures, and eye contact can all be affected by autism.
Autism can present itself early on in a child’s life. Around 18 months, parents may notice that their child doesn’t make eye contact, or enjoy interactive social games (peek-a-boo, pat-a-cake). A young child with autism may not babble or point to objects, which are milestones that most children reach by their first birthday. The child may not smile or try to imitate sounds, leading to a delay in his speech development.
Autism Behavior Checklist
There are several behavioral signs of autism that parents may observe while spending time with their child. It is important to remember that each child is different; therefore, may exhibit one, some or all of the behaviors described.
Behaviors can be self-stimulating (i.e. flapping, spinning, etc.) or simply part of a daily routine (i.e. getting dressed must occur in the same sequence every day). The child may engage in these behaviors because he finds them intriguing or simply because that is the only way he knows to react to a situation.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Forgiveness the divine way to Eternal Happiness

Forgiveness-The divine asset

What according to you makes a relationship last a lifetime? Is it only love and understanding. Well it takes lot more than that to make a relationship work. And one of the most important aspect of it is the ability to forgive your partner. It takes a lot of courage to forgive and one who learns to forgive learns to love and make a relationship work. It is said "To err is human and to forgive is divine". How true it is. For only forgiveness can make you understand what love really is.When you forgive you do it for you, not for the other. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not something you do for someone else. But it is something you do for yourself and in a way you give yourself peace of mind and it makes you a good person. Refusing to forgive by holding on to the anger, resentment and a sense of betrayal can make your own life miserable. There is nothing so bad that cannot be forgiven. So don't hold on to the anger and resentment but let go of it and you will be much happier in life.Healthy love relationship is not possible without forgiveness! If you have been hurt in your love relationship then it is not possible to enter into fresh relationships unless you have learnt to forgive. You cannot have a loving and rewarding relationship with anyone else, much less yourself, if you continue to hold on to things that happened in the past. Regardless of the situation, making peace with past love partners, your parents, children, your boss or anyone who you think may have "done you wrong" is the only way to improve your chances of a "healthy" relationship with yourself or anyone else for that matter! It is not possible to truly be present and available to a new relationship until you heal the hurt and upsets of the past. You can never live in the present and create a new and exciting future for yourself and your love partner if you always stay stuck in the past. Remember there is no future in the past and all the love awaits you in the future. Forgive and forget is a myth. You may never forget but you can choose to forgive and move on. With time the hurt and the pain will fade. Forgiveness cleanses your system of the poison that will surely worsen and cause sufferings and continued misery if not released. Don't poison your mind with resentment and anger. You cannot take the poison and expect someone else to die. Those who have wronged you will go on with their life and you will be the only one to continue to suffer. So learn to forgive and move on with your life. Remember you deserve to be happy.

Loving Unconditionally


It is normally seen that love vanishes after marriage and the romance that was there during courtship ends abruptly with wedlock. Are you also experiencing such a situation where the things that used to be 'sooooo cute' have now started becoming 'urkk!! How disgusting'? Is your love life getting a little stale? Are you taking each other for granted? Well if that's the case then you need to find out the reasons and try to analyse what is going wrong. You have to take time out for love. Our list of ways to put the romance back in your love life will have your mate wondering and falling for you all over again.Follow our instructions very carefully if you want to bring the romance back into your life:
Tell your partner how much you love him/her. Though you think its not necessary coz you are married and are living together that will naturally imply that you love one another. But believe me its not enough. It's often taken for granted but its nice to hear those magical words 'I Love You' once in a while.
Show genuine interest in your loved one. Don't take things for granted. Don't think that if things appear to be ok, they are ok. Show that you care and reveal to your love that he/she is important to you. Ask how his/her day was and if there is anything you can do to help.
There may be many negative points in your partner and you might hate them but that's no solution. Concentrate on the positive. Make a list of what you love about each other. Love can make all the negative qualities vanish.
Make time to be alone together. Togetherness is very important in a relationship and even if you are very busy you ought to spend some quiet time with your love. What I mean by quiet time is: No television, no kids, and no distractions. Go out on a romantic date at least twice in a month. This is very essential for maintaining a healthy relationship.
Go out on a vacation once in three months. That way you can forget all the tensions and just freak out with your love.
Get intimate. Give your mate a long kiss. I mean a passionate kiss like the ones when you were dating. Get cosy with him. Be in his/her arms and enjoy each other's company without worrying about work, kids, deadlines etc.
Extend a helpful hand and do the household chores and do it together. This way you will ensure that it's the family of the two of you and you have to be responsible towards everything.
Learn to laugh together. Laughter is the cure of many ailments and it will make you feel good too. Laughter can reduce your risk of heart disease and high blood pressure also.
Make every day count. Your being together is a special thing in itself so make it special in every way. For a week do something special for the other person. Whether it is a phone call, special dinner or time alone, doing something out of the ordinary is a sure fire way to show your love how much you care.
Surprise your loved one. Cook his/her favourite meal, go to some movie and pick her/him up from his/her office, give him/her a surprise gift, plan a date and make it special.
Make a tape of your favourite songs. Music is universal and can bring back loving memories with the first played notes. Remember the music you used to love and how you felt.
Say it with flowers. Send flowers to him/her in his/her office. Say that you love him/her with flowers and it will surely bring all the love that had faded back into your life.

To have a PERFECT LOVE is the road on having a perfect life.

Characteristics of a great partner

What do you look into your partner? What do you expect form him/her? Every person has an image of their partner in their minds and think that their partner should be loving, considerate, joyful, have a great sense of humour and should love them crazily. Following are a few things that one always tries to search in their partner and which not only makes a great partner but also are the characteristics of a great relationship.
Someone who is caring and honest.
Someone who laughs with you and cries with you and is there for you at all the times.
Someone who truly listens to what you say and understands that though listening is a key, but using what is heard is even more important.
Someone who knows what you want before you say it.
Someone who respects you for what you are and does not flatter you unnecessarily.
Someone who is open and responsive and with whom you can confide in like a friend.
Someone who is never critical and ill tempered and knows how to compromised in the relationship.
Someone who loves you with all his heart.
Someone who likes everything that you do.
Someone with whom you have many common interests to share.
Someone who is trustworthy and who will risk his/her life for you.
Someone who takes time to listen and enjoy you for who you are and tries not to make you something else.
Someone that has a personality with qualities you don't have yourself, but admire greatly in them.
Someone who loves the stupid stuff you do without making fun of you.
Someone who appreciates your food even if it is not tasty but loves it because you have worked so hard to prepare it.
Someone who can make you happy when you are sad.
Someone who tells you the truth even if you don't want to hear it.
Someone who is a sweet, romantic person who cherishes you no matter what.
Someone who knows you're not perfect but treats you as though you are.
Someone who is a great person, a great kisser, and a great lover!

Romantic Souls on Earth

Relationship guidelines

In any relationship what is important is understanding and trust. It is important to build and maintain a FRIENDSHIP in your relationship and that you give your partner the benefit of the doubt when times are tough... namely TRUST! Learn to understand each other, know each other and know what makes your partner happy.What Men Need to Know: The Woman's Point of View 1. The most important thing is being sensitive and romantic in your words and action. Please don't fake your emotions and say things you don't mean.2. Please listen to what she is saying. Most of the men never try to know what a woman wants because they never listen attentively. Don't take your girl for granted. 3. DO build her trust by being faithful and truthful, and always "being there." 4. Spend time together, cuddling, kissing and learn to enjoy foreplay and learn about her body and erogenous zones instead of jumping to the real thing.
5. Never expect or demand sex.What Women Need to know: The Man's Point of View 1. Do take the initiative instead of expecting him to be the one to initiative first always.2. Try to accept him without judgment. 3. If you are still dating don't expect him to profess his love for you so soon.4. DON'T push him into a commitment or an exclusive relationship. 5. Don't take everything personally. 6. Don't always expect him to apologies to you. 7. DO let him withdraw once in awhile; understand his need to be alone, to take things slowly, or to have a night out with the guys.It is quite normal to have up's and down's in a relationship but how you argue when in a relationship can determine if you have a relationship that falls apart or lasts.Things to avoid when arguing or fighting with your relationship partner: 1. Criticism, 2. Contempt, 3. Defensiveness and stonewalling (withdrawing from talking)Good things to use in an argument:1. Using humor to break tension in an argument. 2. Expressions of affection for your partner. 3. Acknowledge your partners point of view.

All about LOVE


Simple but truly needed in a sound relationship which has a solid foundation are the following elements: CARING: Caring about each other. RESPECT: Respect for each other's needs. COMMUNICATION: Communication between each other. TRUTH: Truth with each other on all things big and small. COMMITMENT: Commitment to each other and the relationship you have.It is very essential in a relationship to understand your partner and to compromise. There are times when one feels that 'why should I be the one who is always adjusting' but always remember little differences and arguments can be sorted out by simply listening to one another and finding out problems and fixing them, than hanging on to your ego's and repenting later on. Try to keep your relationship good and last forever.Tips to make sure one's relationship last and is good:1.Make sure there are no *major* areas of incompatibility. Make a list of what's important to each of you and discuss it to make sure that there are no major indifferences and inaptness amongst you and your partner, which can create complications. To keep a relationship good both people have to care about how their partner feels and make sure to talk about anything that's causing either party to feel like their needs aren't being met and try to fix it. Because that's what breaks relationships and kills the love that was once there. Letting hurt, anger, etc grow and take over instead of fixing the problem while it's small is hazardous to a relationship and must be avoided before it becomes impossible to mend little hurts. 2. Make a commitment... Not in the traditional sense to stay together no matter how bad it gets... you have to be willing to hang in there through difficult times but I think that both parties must commit 110% to nurturing and protecting what they have.. to do things that keep the love you feel alive and strong and to always be vigilant and nip problems in the bud *before* they get to the point of harming your relationship. IMO That's the key to making a relationship last and stay good.Make sure you are compatible in the things you both think are important. Make sure that both of you have the skills to negotiate conflict without having to beat each other up with words. Make a commitment to keep it good and then make it a reality.

Meaning of LOVE

The dictionary defines love in the ways we use the word. For example love is:
A strong positive emotion of. affection or pleasure. "his love for his work. I love cooking.
Any object of warm affection or devotion or liking; "the theater was her first love". I love french food.
Beloved: a beloved person; used as terms of endearment
A deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction; " "she was his first love" She loves her husband.
A score of zero in tennis or squash; "it was 40 love!
Sexual love: sexual intercourse between two people; They made love."he hadn't had any love in months";
The Greeks defined love in four categories:
AGAPE love is unconditional love. It is love by "CHOICE". A good example is "GOD LOVES US"
PHI LEO love is the love of "ATTRACTION" guided by our likes or our healthy or unhealthy needs and desires.
STORGE is a physical show of "AFFECTION" the need for physical touch.
EROS is the physical "SEXUAL" desire, intercourse.
Define love, what does it mean to you? Be bold and write down the feelings and thoughts you have about love.
Be aware of moments you feel love towards anyone or anything.
Consider your motives, what are you getting from the situation.
Think about whether you'd feel the same way if the other person's looks were to change.
Capture that feeling with metaphors, poetry or songs.
Remember 1 Corinthians 13:4-A... "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." If this is not how you feel, then you may not be in love.
Define love like a psychologist: love can be viewed triangularly. There are three key components: passion, intimacy, and commitment.
Passion underlies physical desire, sexual behavior, and arousal. This is the physical side.
Intimacy is the emotional aspect: closeness, connectedness, and warmth of friendship.
Commitment is the decision-making part "CHOICE" of love; are couples willing to work it out?
Understand that love may start as harmless flirting and smiles and winks and maybe even kissing, but it is usually infatuation at this point, a more curious approach by one or both parties. While time is usually spent looking to discover more about this intriguing person, much time will be spent pondering the many possibilities of what could happen, or the consequences that may become of a certain action, or on the other hand the good that may come of it.
Understand that most often to the person in love there will be little left of interest in the real world, food will taste bland, concentrating will have become a serious mental struggle and even fun pastimes may seem worthless, as pacing and walking or even simply sitting or lying while thinking about the person seems a more sensible thing to do.
This type of behaviour can lead to serious disturbances at work and at home, especially if the person feeling love is already an item with somebody else, who they may have shared these feelings for at sometime in the past.
Note that although love has never been definitely proven scientifically to exist; it is thought, quite accurately as of yet that one can only be in love with one person, or thing at a time. The part of the human being that is reserved for sharing with another, (what some may call the soul, or the heart) is used up while dedicating itself to that one source, and that it is impossible to feel the overwhelming feeling twice at once.
Although similar, love is thought not to be like pain which has definite locations; it is thought that it can move around, although usually it will reside in the lower stomach or the bottom of the throat, with sensitive areas like the temples and the legs and joints feeling stressed and weak. The mouth is often dry and the eyes seem strained, and this is all usually given the diagnosis of love sickness; or in some cases where love isn't present; influenza.
Understand that time does seem to be the only healer in the case of love. The full connection of two loving parties (mutually) could lead to a stronger relationship, and developments such as procreation and marriage; but in the case of a single party or the rejection of the first party by the second, or even in the case of a secret love, being in love will usually only fade after the interest is out of sight and out of mind, or gives full closure to the pursuer.
Realise that in some cases (especially in literature) love will last forever. No matter how much time passes by, or what obstacles become present in the path to true and pure love, love will endure. This is may be far fetched from reality, but is a much more preferable way to think.
Although this may be a much more joyous belief to have of love, there are also those situations where love does fail. This can be easily said to have been due to false love of mistaken identity between persons (as lovers are star crossed and are meant to find each other). Either way, the difference between feeling love and not feeling it is a distinct one, and cannot be mistaken. It is a true sickness that is present and can be more crippling than the flu, depression and many other illnesses combined.
Love can cause war; in the cases of love of religion and the love of money; war can cause people to steal and murder, it can lead to suicide and shatter marriage and family life, it can spread disease and give birth to evil; but love is eternal and cannot be eliminated, it is what makes people human. "I think therefore I am" may also be translated as "I love therefore I am". Being able to think give us the ability to choose our partners not because of their breed or simple survival of the fittest, but in order for us to develop as human beings, and to share our love and spread it on to new generations, so that while love lasts eternally, our mark upon humanity lasts forever through our children and children's children; we have made our mark upon humanity; our genetic code will continue to be passed on and develop for ever more. This possibility is a gift, not a dedication, we have to choose as we were born with conscientiousness, not animal instinct.