Monday, December 29, 2008

Growing up pains

One of the most profound feelings one could have is associated with enforced separation, and we have all had it, sometime or the other, havent we! By some quirk of fate, I seem to have endured rather more, because of the changes in my school, college, and then changes in my posting.

Sometimes, I really envy those people who are born, brought up, educated and live in the same city, or village, who meet their friends regularly and are really surrounded by camarederie, if it can be stated like that!

The wrenching feeling, the mumbled goodbyes, it all began when I was about 10 years old. Suddenly, the guava tree which me and my sister used to inhabit for hours, the small plots of season flowers which I used to water, the stony cricket pitch, even the railway station began to assume such intimate hues which I find hard to describe even now!

And not to mention the wisp of a girl who used to sit with me, wrote names on the covers of my textbooks and sometimes, shared her tiffin. For some strange reason, she never sat beside me in the schoolbus. I can still remember her smile, ever so clearly now when I am pounding the keys..

And the second time, when I was seventeen and thought I was grown up enough! Farewells bid most breezily with hearty shrugs and laughter couldnt however, blunt the sense of loss which is associated with every such instance, and here I was saying goodbye to hundreds of friends, some beloved teachers, the huge playgrounds and orchards, the ceramic workshop, etc, etc...

Thereafter it kept happening and did not cross my mind until recently. My family has gone for the winter vacation and after two days, I found a little note, neatly folded, behind the keyboard.
Bye Bye babai, it said in uneven capitals, I am away!

All of it surged over me in a sudden rush of emotion...this liitle girl, my daughter, is growing up!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

"Be The Women Men Adore"

Do you want to Fall into a Type of Love That Last Forever?

Are you tired of dating loser guys that have no chance of being the one? Do youw ant to make the man of your dreams fall in love with you? If so, then you need to read on and discover the secrets to making the man of your dreams fall in love with you.

Women Men Adore - Become the Woman That All Men Want

Women Men Adore - Captivate the Man of your Dreams

Become one of the Women Men Adore by Clicking Here.If you are lonely and sick of being that way, then you have to know the ways to attract and keep a man interested. This is very important because if you cannot make a man want you, then you are really going to struggle when it comes to keeping him around.

Here are a few ways to become the woman that men adore.

1. You have to exude confidence

Confidence is one of the sexiest qualities, but you have to be careful because having too much confidence can come off as arrogance and that is not sexy. By dressing a way that makes you feel attractive and doing things to make sure you know you look good you will be able to feel more confident in yourself and you will exude more confidence.

2. You have to be a bit aggressive

This does not mean you have to walk up to a man and say "I want you". This means that you have to do the right things to get him to come to you. This includes separating yourself from your friends and getting closer to the guy. Make eye contact and smile. These are the easiest cues you can give a man to get him to come to you.

3. Get a guide that will give you all the secrets to men

There are many guides out there that will help you find the right man, but there are only a couple that actually will work. If you are willing to spend a little bit of money for your long term happiness, then you can gain all the knowledge you need to attract the guy of your dreams, make him fall for you, and keep him happy for the rest of your life.This is the best and most well known way to become one of the women men adore.

You can be that woman that gets all the action you want and has to beat them off with a stick, that is if you want to be.Gain the Knowledge you Need to Find, Attract, and Keep the Man of your Dreams by Clicking Here Now!

Discover all the Secrets about
How To Get A Guy To Like Youby Clicking Here NowIf you are like most girls, then you have thousands of tricks to help make a guy fall in love with you.

The most important part of love is that you have a chemistry between you because without chemistry the relationship is doomed.

Every girl wants a guy that is absolutely crazy about her and if you want to learn how to get a guy to like you, then you need to know how to build up your personal magnetism.

LOVE CAN BE MADE - IT IS UP TO YOU!!There are many different tricks that can be used to attract a guy and
make him fall in love with you. You have to start by understanding that you need to have the self confidence to know that you can attract anybody you want. Learn to trust yourself and know that what you are doing is right.

1. Start by listening to him. Even if you do not agree with what he is saying make sure to listen to his point of view. This shows that you find him to be important and that it is not just about you.

2. You need to be different from other women and make sure to concentrate on him. However if it is all about him you have to be careful because you might end up with someone that does not care about you.

3. Regardless of what you are, who you are, what you look like, or what you think you are, just be yourself. You will never have a sucessful relationship unless you give him a chance to fall in love with you. Don't be fake because he will see right through it.

4. Make him smile. Have a sense of humor and making hims smile will win him over pretty fast. You don't want everything to be serious and you will want to flirt with him so he can develop feelings for you.

5. Build up your personal magnetism by making yourself as beautiful as you possibly can. This is an easy way to help attract him to you.

6. Try to have a good attitude and stay motivated and cheerful. Happiness is contagious and everybody wants to be around it.You should also stay away from games. Do not try to be both the lover and the friend because this is just confusing for a guy. Also, make sure you are not after a guy no matter what the cost is and avoid trying to get a guy that is already involved with someone else.

Now that you know how to get the guy of your dreams you need to make sure it happens naturally. Use your feminity to win him over and remember that woman means devoute love.

Do you feel like you will never find the right guy for you? Are you afraid that when you do he won't be attracted to you?


Are you sick of being lonely?

Do you want to find the man that is out there for you?

There are many ways to learn how to make a man fall in love and for a small fee you can learn all the tricks that you can use to get a the guy of your dreams. Here are some tips to help you right away.

First, you have to become beautiful. Not just to him, but also to yourself. Every woman can do this and it has a lot to do with your self confidence and your appearance. We all feel better when we put in some effort to look great. Do this and you will not only attract more attention, but you will also feel much more confident.

Second, you have to act correctly around the guy of your dreams. You cannot always stick with your group of friends because there are a couple of things that a man thinks about when you are with your group.

1. He does not want to be rejected in front of all of them.

2. How am I going to get any one on one time with her. This will keep him from coming up to you more often than not.

Last, you need to understand that it is a small price to pay to learn how to not only attract the man of your dreams, but keep him, keep him happy, and maintain the right type of relationship that can last a life time for you.

Knowing what it takes will arm you with all the knowledge you need in order to become proficient at love and be in a rewarding relationship.
Our bodies are perfect organisms that allow us to live on earth in comfort, to run and play, to read and write and, in short, they let us perform each and every task. These organisms are so wonderful that one cannot make anything that resembles them even with the most advanced technology.How much do you know about this body of yours, which works non-stop and repairs itself when it runs down?


Each organ in our bodies is very important to us. Our lives would change if even only one of them were missing. For example, our eyes… Did you ever think what you would have done if you didn't have your eyes? You wouldn't be able to know what your parents, brothers or sisters, or friends look like. You wouldn't be able to see all the beautiful things. You wouldn't be able to play most of the games you now do. You wouldn't be able to read the contents of this site or see the colourful pictures in it. You wouldn't be able to imagine what a rabbit or a dog looks like, because you would never have seen one. You wouldn't be able to watch cartoons on TV. You wouldn't be able to perform your tasks with ease. You might not even be able to find your way around home. You wouldn't be able to see any colours or shapes, nor would you know what light is or be able to notice any of these things. The list is endless.

God created all humans with eyes with which they can see. God has given humans this very important asset.

Our eyes serve very important functions. They perform critical processes of which we are completely unaware, and only after which we can see around.

Let us briefly examine how we see:

Every object in the world reflects and emits light on to its surroundings. For instance, while you are looking at the computer screen, the light reflected and emitted from the screen is going to the back of your eye through your pupil.

This light, after going through a series of processes at the back of your eye, turns into an electrical signal. This electrical signal goes to your brain. At the back of your brain is the centre of vision that makes it possible for you to see. The centre of vision is a small area. This is the tiny area where the electrical signals form the image of the screen and that is when you see this site.
Even trying to explain these processes as briefly as possible takes such a long time, whereas the process is instantaneous. These processes happen so fast that when you look at the computer screen, at that instant you are able to see it.

Isn't it such a perfect system? If you remember, we had mentioned evolutionists earlier in the site. We also mentioned that these people believe that earth, the universe, the stars and all living things are a result of chance. Those who say this say the same about our eyes. They say, "The eyes occurred by themselves and through coincidence." Can such a complex and wonderful system form by itself?

Let us give an example to clarify how ridiculous this opinion is:

Engineers have manufactured the photographic and video cameras by copying the human eye. However, none of this equipment gives as clear a view as your eyes do. Now lift your head from the computer screen and look around you. Isn't your vision clear? There is no blur, snowy dots or missing lines in your vision. Now look at your television set. Quite often, you see snowy dots or skipped lines in the image. Even when these don't happen and even with all the new technology, televisions still do not produce the perfect images that your eyes do.
Now, let's think for a moment. This means that our eyes are a lot more advanced and are of better quality than any video or photographic camera or television.

What would you do if someone came up to you and said something like the following?
"There was a storm that caused some electrical cables, screws, hammers, screwdrivers to fly out the door and windows, to fly out of the house, and then all of them got together in the backyard. Then there was some rain and thunder and these things were mixed with the soil. Some time passed and I saw a television set emerge. I picked it up and brought it home."

You would probably think that that person is either insane or lying, because as we all know, television sets are made in huge factories where there are hundreds of engineers, designers and specialised personnel. It is impossible for a television set to form on its own.

Could it be that our eyes, which are of much better quality than television, have occurred by themselves? Of course not! Just as a television doesn't come about on its own, but someone does manufacture it, our eyes are also not a result of coincidence. God is the One Who created our eyes in such a way that they see in three-dimensions and with coloured images so clearly. This is why we have to thank God for everything beautiful that we are able to see.


God has created our ears perfectly just like our eyes. Imagine a stereo, for instance. Even if you turn on the best of stereos, you hear some crackling and hissing sounds. Radio channels often become mixed up. Right now, don't talk but just listen! Do you hear any hissing? Your ears never produce any. You hear the sounds marvellously clearly. Well don't you think that your ears could also have produced crackling just like stereos? God has created our ears perfectly and we are able to hear the sounds around us without experiencing any distortion.

God has created our ears in such a way that we are unable to hear certain sounds that would disturb us. The blood in our body, for instance, flows very fast and it makes a lot of noise during its circulation. However, our ears do not hear the noise that it makes. Our planet also produces quite a strong noise while it spins. Nevertheless, God has created our ears so ideally that we don't hear this noise. God is very caring towards us. This is the reason why, throughout our lives, He doesn't let us hear noises that will disturb us.

This is why we have to thank God for His benevolence. God has stated the following in a verse in the Qur'an:

"God brought you out of your mothers' wombs knowing nothing at all, and gave you hearing, sight and hearts so that perhaps you would show thanks." (Surat an-Nahl, 78)


For us, our heart is an essential organ. It beats about seventy-two times per minute and about forty million times per year. To understand what a tiring activity this is, just make a fist with your hand and then relax it, and continue making a fist and relaxing it. How many minutes do you think you will be able to keep this up? Your heart, which is about the size of your fist, continues this action throughout your life without becoming tired or even stopping once. Our hearts don't stop even while we are asleep. If we become excited, our heart beats faster, and it beats slower while we rest. Our heart makes all these adjustments automatically while we are totally unaware.

Every time our heart beats, it pumps blood around our bodies. What we need to survive is in this blood. Every one of our cells receives the necessary oxygen and food they need from the blood. Our heart pumps about 43,000 litres (approx. 11,000 gallons) of blood per day. Do you know just how much blood this means? This is about enough to fill 150 bathtubs. Wouldn't you become tired if you tried to empty a single bathtub full of water with just a cup?

Now imagine having to empty 150 bathtubs of water with just a single cup. Probably you wouldn't have been able to accomplish such a difficult task. However, our heart does such a task and has done so since the day we were born and will continue to do so until the day we die. Moreover, it never takes a break. You, for example, would take a break while doing a difficult chore. You would probably need to lie down, or take a rest, but our hearts don't become tired, because they are essential for our survival. It is small but its task is enormous. This is why God has created it in such a way that it never tires.

It is unimaginable for a country to be without a network of roads, railways or seaways. A unique network in your body allows it to function faultlessly. These are the blood vessels of our circulatory system. Inside these vessels, the blood flows that the heart continuously pumps. The blood carries countless materials from one part of the body to another. It distributes food continuously to each part of the body and collects waste materials.

"Simplicity Of Life"

The Simplicity of Being

It is a twist of human psyche that we feel the need to have a purpose, that life has meaning, that we matter. The majority of us go through a period of reflection (if not multiple periods) during our lives, trying to make sense of it all. We NEED to know.It clobbered me the other day, while chit chatting with a family member, that there is no meaning to life. We simply exist.Does a bird (or any animal) try to answer the question of its existence? No, it simply exists. Day to day.

More accurately, second by second.It's laughable, the vanity of humans thinking that we matter. In the grand scheme of things we as individuals are nothing more than microscopic particles. Our actions have zero impact on the universe as a whole. Sure, we each are each playing a part in the destruction of the Earth, but even if our planet vanished tomorrow what real impact would that have on the universe as a whole? Earth would never be missed.

And if a whole planet can go unnoticed, that teeny tiny little ol' me matters even less!"Then why continue living?" I was asked. "Why bother at all?"Because life provides so many simple pleasures. But we're too busy chasing from this place to that, worried about what so-and-so thinks, paying bills, rising debt, keeping our jobs, wearing the latest trends, buying bigger/better/brighter.Stop and smell the roses!

"Who has time?!?"Some times I think I've lost my inner child - that sense of awe and wonderment - the belief in the imaginary and pretend. I sat and watched my niece and nephew opening their presents today, their eyes wide with surprise and happiness, and I was amazed that they still believe in Santa. They have faith in the red suit and beard, and the magic of the North Pole.The same way that the majority of the world has faith in some form of a cognizant God.

They cannot figure out the meaning their own, what purpose they serve, why they matter, so they fall back on faith, which lifts them and gives them hope.Why do so many people resort to blind faith for hope?I wonder how many people would pull the plug if they didn't have faith; if they were not religious? Then again, the atheists aren't running off the edge of cliffs like a buffalo stampede.I think deep down we all know that we serve no purpose.

Much like that bird flying over head, we simply exist. Why do we feel that there has to be more?We humans are cursed. Why can't we simply exist? Why can't we just simply be?All those year that I wasted trying to figure it all out - trying to make sense of it - when in a flash I'm okay with there being no meaning to life, and that I serve no purpose. I simply "am".

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Welcome to the world of 'PRANIC HEALING'


Pranic healing is an energy healing technique based on the overall structure of the human body. According to the precepts of pranic healing, our body is actually composed of two parts: the visible physical body, and the invisible energy body called the bioplasmic body or aura.

The visible physical body is that part of the human body that we see, touch, and are most acquainted with. Our aura is that invisible luminous energy body, which interpenetrates the visible physical body and extends beyond it.

Traditionally, clairvoyants and energy healing practitioners call this energy body the etheric body or etheric double.What Is Pranic Healing?Pranic healing is an ancient science and art of healing that utilizes prana (or chi/qi/ki) or life energy and the chakras or energy centers to heal diseased energy levels.

The healing process involves the manipulation of the patient's chakras, ki and aura. It has also been called medical qigong (ki kung or ki healing), psychic healing, vitalic healing, therapeutic touch, laying of the hand, magnetic healing,faith healing, and charismatic healing.
Dear God,

Life is a journey, a way that we must all walk. We all know this, but since we often do not know what kind of a journey it is to be, we create expectations of the way we want it to be, and then frequently find that it is not what we expected. We often associate the Plan or God's Plan for us with comfort and ease. We think that if everything is going along well, if we don't have too many challenges or troubles and if we are comfortable, that God has blessed us. We erroneously think that pain is a result of sinning against God, that pain is punishment for doing wrong. Even if we do not consciously believe this, we probably believe it unconsciously. "What have I done wrong?" is often asked when things do not go the way we want. We tend to associate happiness with the lack of pain and disturbances, and assume that such happiness and good feelings are God's blessing.

We must learn to accept the limitations, obstacles and challenges in our personal lives and learn from them the true nature of reality. At first we really don't know what is going on or why we experience what we do. We just find life difficult, challenging and often painful. Suffering is seen as intrinsic to human life. But we really don't know why. Eventually, after much experience and reflection, we start to find meaning in it all and gladly accept the responsibility you have blessed us with. For this I am forever grateful, and I want to thank you for what you have already done. I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until I feel better or things look better; until people say they are sorry or until they stop talking about me; until the pain in my body disappears; until my financial situation improves; until the children are asleep and the house is quiet; until I get promoted at work or until I get the job; I am going to thank you right now.

I am not going to wait until I understand every experience in my life that has caused me pain or grief; I am not going to wait until the journey gets easier or the challenges are removed; I am thanking you right now. I am thanking you because I am alive. I am thanking you because I made it through the day's difficulties. I am thanking you because I have walked around the obstacles. I am thanking you because I have the ability and the opportunity to do more and do better. I'm thanking You because FATHER, YOU haven't given up on me. God is just so good, and he's good all the time!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas To All

To All Of You Who Celebrate The Christmas..
Let All Your Beautiful Dream Come True..
Merry Christmas..

Christmas must be more than just a day of jingle bells and plum cakes, or just a night of imagined Santa ... its true spirit can only lie in resurrecting Christ's love and compassion within, beyond all divisive dogma, so that there can be unity in diversity, empathy and forgiveness in conflicts, humility in power, values in technology, and service in leadership, towards buildinga better global village, so that Christ's great sacrifice goes NOT in vain ...

1. Build your success on strong foundations.These skills will never leave you.

2. Teams are made up of individuals.Giving your best effort to the team results in cohesive and profitable teams and greater personal rewards.

3. Look towards the future…today.Have short, medium and long-term goals – and reward yourself when you achieve them.

4. Balanced Perspective. Don’t make your life just about work.Spending time with family and friends, and enjoying hobbies can make all the difference to your happiness and your ability to perform at your best.

5. The extra 15 minutes.Finding the competitive edge. Spending 15 minutes a day to focus on areas that will help you achieve your goals will add up to 70 hours a year!

6. Determination beats talent every time.Although the secret to success is primarily hard work, be smart in the way you go about it.

7. Exercise!Spending at least 30 minutes 3 times per week doing a physical activity you enjoy makes you fitter, healthier and better able to deal with the challenges corporate life presents.

8. Know when to ask for help.Coaches, be they in sport or business can guide, support and inspire.

9. Once you have reached your goals, don’t become complacent – aim higher!Life can be so much more enjoyable when you have a purpose. 9.9. Have fun and enjoy what you do!
About Loyalty

On the far skyline' shoulder, the pale drunk morning's sun was watching the toyed people, and on one of the flourished roofs on the eye-sight, a little boy sat , and with his small grateful eyes , he started meditating a flock of doves..
A flock of doves, which their neighbor's half time was devoted for them.
The little boy started to look at his pale neighbor, and a million of questions were jumping in his small head.
"What is the secret of that relation between him and the doves?"
"Is it possible that he understands their language?"
"Could there be any kind of relation between them?"
And he sank into the questions that knocking his head gate.
He knew that the pale neighbor lives in a very small room with his Fat wife.
He remembered that he heard his mom once gossiping with her friend:
-They eat once each two days.
-A stupid man he is, they say that if he sells the doves he has, he will be managed to buy a small car that helps him to make a good income.
-I know… they offered him that a lot, but he keeps refusing
And saying, "God will be in my side"
- O shame! How can his wife endure him! If I were her I would stay no more with him.
The sound of a salesman in the road, was too loud not to cut his ideas series, he looked at a few ants were trying to drag a dead fly.
The memory of the little boy took him back again into a dark night when he heard a conversation between his neighbor and his fat wife, they where talking about their bad state:

- Look I can endure not this damn situation anymore.
- Be patient woman!
- But patience has limits.
- If there were limits for patience, then it would be not patience, hence it would be but a surrender..
- Name it as you wish, I tell you now, I surrender!
- God will be with us, God forgets but none.
- But you forgot him, so how supposed he to remember you?!
- He will remember me because he is the God, and God never forget anybody, even if I forget him, he is the God he is the God, and God is so merciful..
- O! you fortune fool, But you have the solution, and you help not your self.
- Doves again!!! Didn't I say "God is the Merciful?!"
- Look! God is the Merciful when you Mercy yourself.
- I will make it not long discussion; I will not drop my doves even if I have to drop you.

In the next day' night the pale neighbor's fat wife went back not to his home.
The little boy still remembers the gossip that happened between his mom and her friend about the fat wife disappearance.
The neighbor said:

- I know from the beginning that she is a whore.
- God damn her.
- They say that she escaped with another man.
- God damn her, is it possible that she escaped with another man that simply …
- Tis but the end, there is no more Loyalty in this life.
- She had to be patient; if I were her I would still patient till the last moment.
- I think that the Demon controlled her.
- A Demon …. Huh … she is a whore since her birth.

By the pass of time that gossip never left the memory of the little boy, he was always wondering:
Is it possible that God Create people as whores since their birth, to punish them at the last!! He just can punish them without making them have that experience and life..
So there must be a goal of making them undergo the life.. Truly there must be a goal, but what is it?!
He said:
"I think that life is a break before God punishes us.
Yes life is but a break.
In this case God made life to make us happy before he punishes us at the last.
What a God!!
Oh this means that our neighbor understood the reality of life.
Our Fat neighbor!! Oh she did the right thing!
What a smart fat neighbor!"
The boy remembered that their neighbor after the escape of his fat wife, started to spend all his time with his doves.
And he remembered that he was getting paler as well.
The sound of the doves when they rushed toward the seeds cut the boy thinking.
He started to look at the doves again.
And the loop of questions was rising again:
"Why he does not escape with another woman?!
But why he supposed to escape?
Form whom?!
To whom?!"
The little boy cut his thinking with his sentence:
"Anyway he prefers to live with doves than any other woman,
At least they are so loyal to him. They never escape.
Yes they are more loyal."
The little boy thought the soul of the pale soul and the soul of the doves were mixed together to be a great part of that roofs,
He was convinced that the doves are more loyal than his neighbor fat wife; at least they never escape with another man. They never complain.
The little boy stood on his feet, and started to look with grateful eyes at the doves, and there neighbor kept on throwing the seeds to them!!
But suddenly, the pale neighbor fell to the ground above the seeds. And the good-hearted doves followed him and started to speak him making strange voices.
The little boy cried and uttered:
"They are crying over him and trying to drag him out of the Death."
Yes because he is their friend since the roofs where existed.
They never betrayed him they are so loyal.
What a great doves, and after a few minutes, the doves flight away, at that moment he understood everything; they were not gathered for him, But for the seeds, it is their loyalty secret..
Yes tis the secret of their loyalty for that roof and that pale.
Even the doves,
Even the doves,
God damn them... These selfish creatures..
Since that day the little boy, Became little no more...


Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door...'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, ..tapping at my chamber door -Only this, and nothing more.'Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow

From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -Nameless here for evermore.And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtainThrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating..'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -

Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -This it is, and nothing more,'Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,..Sir,' said I, ..or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -Darkness there, and nothing more.Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream beforeBut the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, ..Lenore!

'This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, ..Lenore!'Merely this and nothing more.Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before...Surely,' said I, ..surely that is something at my window lattice;Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -'Tis the wind and nothing more!

'Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -Perched, and sat, and nothing more.Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,..Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, sure no craven.Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!

'Quoth the raven, ..Nevermore.'Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;For we cannot help agreeing that no living human beingEver yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,With such name as ..Nevermore.'But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -Till I scarcely more than muttered ..

Other friends have flown before -On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'Then the bird said, ..Nevermore.'Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,..Doubtless,' said I, ..what it utters is its only stock and store,Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disasterFollowed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden boreOf "Never-nevermore."'But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking

Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yoreMeant in croaking ..Nevermore.'This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing

To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease recliningOn the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,She shall press, ah, nevermore!Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censerSwung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor...Wretch,' I cried, ..thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent theeRespite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'Quoth the raven, ..Nevermore.'..Prophet!' said I, ..thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'Quoth the raven, ..Nevermore.'..Prophet!' said I, ..thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'Quoth the raven, ..Nevermore.'..

Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -..Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'Quoth the raven, ..Nevermore.'And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floorShall be lifted - nevermore!
The prophet MOHAMED peace & blessing upon him

All Nations and Countries are proud of their great people and heroes and depend on them in writing their History and building their Glories.

We didn’t hear, read or know someone greater than our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) in what he offered to his Nation and to all Mankind.

Muhammad has given the greatest qualities by the Almighty Allah…

He is justice: Who said:” If Fatima- my daughter – did steal, I would cut her hand.”

He is modest: Who said to a woman who was awed by him:”Calm down; I’m just the son of a woman from Quraish who used to eat dried Bread.”

He is the worshiper: Who used to pray till he get swelled legs and cracked feet; so that his wife Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) told him:” Oh Messenger of Allah, why are you doing that to yourself since Allah overlooked all your past and future faults? The Prophet replied:” That’s why I like to be a thankful worshiper.”

The Prophet is also described as being so generous with no fear of poverty

Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) said:” Muhammad never refused helping anyone for the sake of Islam. He gave a man a drove of sheep so that the man went back to his tribe saying:” Follow Muhammad who is so generous and doesn’t fear poverty.”

“He also gave Safwan bin Umaiah in the Day of Hunain 100’s of cattle.” Narrated by Muslim

Who is as generous as him (PBUH)?

Who can give such gifts except him (PBUH).

Even the rich never give such gifts, and if they do, because they are rich, but Muhammad gives and may spend days hungry!

Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: “Muhammad was very generous especially in the holy month of Ramadan (the fasting month).”

“The Prophet once received 70 thousand Dirham and started to give all needy till all the money finished.” Narrated by Abu Al Sheikh

He is the brave Leader who stands in the front lines in all Battles

Al Baraa’ (may Allah be pleased with him) reported:” We were protecting ourselves behind the Prophet when the Battles were very strong and the bravest among us was fighting side by side with him (PBUH).” Narrated by Muslim

And Ali (May Allah by pleased with him) reported:” When the Battles were overpowered, we were protecting ourselves behind the Prophet.” Narrated by Ahmad, and many other scholars.

*Notice that Al Baraa’ (the reporter of the 1st Hadith) is a very brave man, where as Ali (the reporter of the 2ed Hadith) is so much famous in his bravery and courage.

See how the bravest of men were not as brave as Muhammad (PBUH).

A man told Al Baraa’:” how could you leave the Prophet in the Day of Hunain?” Al Baraa’ replied “But the Prophet did not.” Agreed upon.

Al Baraa’ also said:” The Prophet was the best, the bravest and the most generous among all.”

He was gentle and patient with those hurting him (PBUH). When he conquered Makkah he forgave his folk who hurt and insulted him for years.

Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: “A man came to the Prophet and spoke to him in a very bad way saying:” Oh Muhammad, give me some of Allah’s gifts you have.” The Prophet looked at him and smiled, then he ordered giving him the money he needed.” Agreed upon

Muhammad is the one having all great qualities and generous merits. Allah describes him in his Holy Quran: ”for the believers he is full of pity, kind and merciful.” (9/128)

Al Hassan Al Basri said commenting on a verse in the Holy Quran:”It was by the mercy of Allah that you were lenient with them “(3/159), he commented:” This is Muhammad’s morals, mentioned by the Almighty Allah.”

Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) said in describing the Prophet:” He was the most generous among men, the most delighted, the most honest in speech, very lenient, the best in companionship, respected by anyone seeing him, loved by anyone knowing him and the one describing him must say” I never saw and wont see anybody like him.” Narrated by Al Tirmithi, Abi Shaiba and Al Baihaki

This is just a drop out of a sea full of great qualities of the Prophet….

This is a reminder to everyone reading…

These are Muhammad’s Morals….So where are the real lovers and real followers?

Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him.
Message to all couples and in a relationship

When she walks away from you mad - Follow her

When she stares at your lips - Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you - Grab her and don't let go

When she starts cursing at you - Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet - Ask her what's wrong

When she ignores you - Give her your attention

When she pulls away - Pull her back

When you see her at her worst - Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying - Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking - Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared - Protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder - Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steals your favorite hat - Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you - Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time - reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt - Back yourself up with the TRUTH

When she says that she likes you - she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands - Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you - bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret - keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes - don't look away until she does

When she misses you - she's hurting inside.

When you break her heart - the pain NEVER really goes away

When she says its over - she STILL wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin - she wants you to read it- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything-

DON'T let her have the last word- always call her when you know something's wrong- Pretty and beautiful is so much better than calling her hot.-

Say you love her more than she could ever love you- Argue that she is the best girl ever-

When she's mad - hug her tight and don't let go- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Treat her like she's all that matters to you-

Tease her and let her tease you back- Stay up all night with her when she's sick-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid-

Give her the world- Let her wear your clothes-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her-

Let her know she's important-

Kiss her in the pouring rain- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;

"Who's ass am I kicking today baby?"

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Foods that never spoil?
What are some foods that never spoil?

I started to research your question and got as far as this first site, started laughing so hard I had to quit.

FINALLY, a way to know what to pitch and what to save!

THE GAG TEST - Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night). Ditto for things that make you violently ill.
EGGS - When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime. Especially if the something is NOT a chicken.
DAIRY PRODUCTS - Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already. Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese but you realize you've never purchased that kind. Blue cheese, by definition, is never spoiled.
MAYONNAISE - If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.
FROZEN FOODS - Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled - (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.
EXPIRATION DATES - This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calender in your kitchen.
MEAT - If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three- block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled. (or the smell alone can make you violently ill and/or unconscious)
BREAD - Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.
FLOUR - Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.
SALT - It never spoils.
CEREAL - It is generally a good rule of thumb that cereal should be discarded when it is two years or longer beyond the expiration date.
LETTUCE - Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it turns liquid.
CANNED GOODS - Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of. Carefully.
CARROTS - A carrot that you can tie in a clove hitch in is not fresh.
RAISINS - Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.
POTATOES - Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.
CHIP DIP - If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.
EMPTY CONTAINERS - Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old trick, but it only works if you live with someone or have a maid.
UNMARKED ITEMS - You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not burp when you open them.
GENERAL RULE OF THUMB - Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a

"Great Uses Of Lemon In Our Kitchens"

101 New Uses for Everyday Things

Get 10 times more uses from such sure-to-have-around items as salt and dryer sheets with these clever ideas

10 New Uses for Lemon
“Lemon juice is the strongest food acid in our kitchens, strong enough to make life unbearable for most bacteria,” says Robert Wolke, professor emeritus of chemistry at the University of Pittsburgh and the author of What Einstein Told His Cook 2: The Sequel, Further Adventures in Kitchen Science (W. W. Norton, $26).

Use Lemon to:

1. Sanitize a chopping block. Run a slice of lemon over the surface to disinfect.

2. Eliminate the browning that occurs when food sits out too long. Sprinkle apple or pear slices with lemon juice before serving, or squeeze a bit into guacamole and give it a stir.3. Remove tough food stains from plastic and light-colored wooden cutting boards. Slice a lemon in half, squeeze the juice onto the soiled surface, rub, and let sit for 20 minutes. Rinse with water.

4. Fade tea stains on cloth. Dilute lemon juice with an equal amount of water. Use an eyedropper or a Q-tip to make sure the juice targets the stain. Thoroughly flush with cool water.

5. Decorate on the cheap. Fill a glass bowl with lemons for a sunny centerpiece. Or display a row of them along a windowsill.

6. Relieve a sore throat. Cut a lemon in half. Skewer one half over a medium flame on a gas stove or an electric burner set on high and roast until the peel turns golden brown. Let cool slightly, then mix the juice with 1 teaspoon of honey. Swallow the mixture.

7. Whiten fingernails. Rub a wedge on the surface of your nails.

8. Shine the interior of copper cookware. Sprinkle a lemon wedge with salt, then scrub.

9. Brighten laundry whites. Add 1/2 cup lemon juice to the wash cycle of a normal-size load.

10. Remove soft cheese or other sticky foods from a grater. Rub both sides of the grater with the pulp side of a cut lemon.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

The Power of Our Words

Throughout our lives we casually say things, negative and positive without ever taking a moment to think about the power of our words. We all have our beliefs on how life should be, but what we forget is that what works for one person may not work for another, and because we each come to the table with a different set of beliefs and from a different background we will never see things exactly the same way. The thing about words that people don't always understand is that words have power.

Most of us desire happy lives with all the wonderful things filling it, but we spend a great deal of time thinking and talking about all the things that we are unhappy about or don't want, and in turn we continue receiving more of what we don't want. Whether positive or negative if you say or think something enough it will eventually happen.

So, instead of thinking and talking about what you don't want find the positive in the what you already have, and instead of thinking about all that you think is wrong with what you have think about how you would like it to be. It is more important to know the kind of life you want and believe that although it may not come the way you want it to come or look the way that you think that it should look just know that it will come.

We say things to and about each other that are sometimes unkind and hurtful, and many times more wounding than we can imagine. But just as we use our words and thoughts in an unkind way we can use them to uplift and motivate, and to change our lives in a positive way. It is easy to criticize someone because they don't think what you think or want what you want, but it is a bigger person who can use their words in a constructive way help someone understand their point of view or to help another person to better their life. It is like the old saying you get what you give. If you use your words and your life in a positive way you will get positive in return.

How are you using your words??

"A Vow That Should Kept,"Till Death Do Us Part"

As you've probably heard, nearly half of all marriages now end in divorce, leaving bitter spouses and confused children in their wake. Don't let this happen to you! Whether your marriage is going through tough times or is experiencing marital bliss, or even if you're not yet married but considering it, here's some free but proven advice to help your marriage last. It's straight from God, the one who created and ordained marriage! If you've tried everything else, why not give God a chance? Follow the keys in this guide, and you can secure your home.Seventeen Rules for a Happy Marriage From God's Great Book

1. Establish your own private home."Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Genesis 2:24.

Answer: God's rule is specific. A married couple must leave father and mother and establish their own home, even if finances require that it be a one-room apartment. Husband and wife should decide together on such policies as these. Then she should inform her relatives and he, his. They must remain firm no matter who opposes. Thousands of divorces would be avoided if this rule were carefully followed.

2. Continue your courtship."Above all hold unfailing your love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8, RSV.* "Her husband ... praiseth her." Proverbs 31:28. "She that is married careth ... how she may please her husband." 1 Corinthians 7:34. "Be kindly affectioned one to another ... in honour preferring one another." Romans 12:10.

Answer: Continue (or perhaps revive) the courtesies of courtship in your married life. Successful marriages do not just happen; they must be developed. Don't take each other for granted, or the monotony that results will destroy your marriage. Keep love growing by expressing love for one another or it will die, and you will drift apart. Love and happiness are not found by seeking them for yourself, but rather by giving them to others.

So spend as much time as possible doing things together if you would get along well. Learn to greet each other with enthusiasm. Relax, visit, shop, sightsee, eat together. Don't overlook the little courtesies, encouragements, and affectionate acts. Surprise each other with little gifts or favors. Try to "outlove" each other. Don't take more out of marriage than you put into it. Divorce itself is not the greatest destroyer of marriage, but rather, lack of love. Given a chance, love always wins.*The Revised Standard Version of the Bible, (C) 1946, 1952, 1971 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA. Used by permission.

3. Remember that God joined you together in marriage."For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife. ... Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." Matthew 19:5, 6.

Answer: Has love almost disappeared from your home? The devil (that notorious home-breaker) is responsible for this. Don't forget that God Himself joined you together in marriage, and He intends for you to stay together and be happy. He will bring happiness and love into your lives if you will obey His divine rules (commandments). "With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26. Don't despair. God, who places love in the heart of a missionary for a leprous savage, can easily give you love for each other if you will let Him.

4. Guard your thoughts--don't let your senses trap you."For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he." Proverbs 23:7. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife." Exodus 20:17. "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." Proverbs 4:23. "Whatsoever things are true, ... honest, ... just, ... pure, ... lovely, ... of good report; ... think on these things." Philippians 4:8.

Answer: The wrong kind of thinking will destroy your marriage. The devil will trap you with thoughts like these: "Our marriage was a mistake." "She doesn't understand me." "I can't take much more of this." "We can always divorce if necessary." "I'll go home to mother." "He smiled at that woman." Stop thinking thoughts like these or your marriage is gone, because your thoughts and senses govern your actions. Avoid seeing, saying, reading, or hearing anything that (or associating with anyone who) suggests impurity or unfaithfulness. Thoughts uncontrolled are like an automobile in neutral on a hill. Anything can happen, and the result is always disaster.

5. Never retire for the night angry with each other."Let not the sun go down upon your wrath." Ephesians 4:26. "Confess your faults one to another." James 5:16. "Forgetting those things which are behind." Philippians 3:13. "Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32.

Answer: To remain angry and upset over hurts and grievances (big or little) is exceedingly dangerous. Unless quickly solved, even little problems become set in your mind as convictions and attitudes adversely affecting your whole philosophy of life. This is why God says to let anger cool before retiring at night. Be big enough to forgive and to say with sincerity, "I'm sorry." After all, no one is perfect, and you are both on the same team, so be sportsmanlike enough to honestly admit a mistake when you make it. Besides, making up is a very pleasant experience, with unusual powers to draw marriage partners closer together. God suggests it! It works!

6. Keep Christ in the center of your home."Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it." Psalms 127:1. "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:6. "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7.

Answer: This is the greatest rule. It really covers all the others. Put Christ first! The real secret of true happiness in the home is not diplomacy, strategy, and untiring effort to overcome problems, but rather, union with Christ. Hearts filled with Christ's love can never be very far apart. With Christ in the home, marriage will be successful. The gospel is the cure for all marriages that are filled with hatred, bitterness, and disappointment. It prevents thousands of divorces by miraculously restoring love and happiness. It will save your marriage, too, if you are willing.

7. Pray together."Pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." Matthew 26:41. "Pray one for another." James 5:16. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally." James 1:5.

Answer: Pray aloud for each other! This is a wonderful rule that succeeds beyond the wildest dream. Kneel before God and ask Him for true love for one another, for forgiveness, for strength, for wisdom--for the solution to problems. God has given a personal guarantee that He will answer. The praying person is not automatically cured of all of his faults, but he will have a heart that wants to do right. No family ever breaks up while sincerely praying together for God's help.

8. Agree that divorce is not the answer."What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." Matthew 19:6. "Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." Matthew 19:9. "The woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth." Romans 7:2.

Answer: The Bible is clear. The ties of marriage are meant to be indissoluble and indestructible. Divorce is permissible only in the case of adultery. But even then it is not demanded, only permitted. Forgiveness is always better than divorce, even in the case of a moral fall. Marriage is for life. God so ordained it when He performed the first wedding in Eden. Thoughts of divorce as a solution will destroy any marriage. This is one reason Jesus ruled it out. Divorce is always destructive and almost never a solution to the problem. Instead, it creates much greater problems, so it should never be considered. Torn, frustrated, unhappy, twisted lives almost inevitably follow divorce, and even success in life itself is often thwarted. God instituted marriage to guard people's purity and happiness, to provide for their social needs, and to elevate their physical, mental, and moral nature. Its vows are among the most solemn and binding obligations that human beings can assume. To lightly set them aside results in removing one's self from God's favor and blessing.

9. Keep the family circle closed tightly.

"Thou shalt not commit adultery." Exodus 20:14. "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. ... She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:11, 12. "The Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously." Malachi 2:14. "Keep thee from the evil woman. ... Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. ... Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? ... So he that goeth in to his neighbour's wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent." Proverbs 6:24-29.

Answer: Family intimacies must never be shared with others--not even with parents. It is a great sin and a tragedy to break this God-given rule. A third person to sympathize or listen to complaints is a tool of the devil to estrange the hearts of husband and wife. Solve your home problems privately. No one else (except your minister or marriage counselor) should ever be involved. Always be truthful with each other, and never keep secrets from each other. Tell no jokes at the expense of your spouse's feelings. Vigorously defend each other, and strictly exclude all intruders. And as for adultery (in spite of what some marriage counselors say), it always hurts you and everyone else involved. God, who knows our mind, body, and emotional structure (and knows what helps or hurts us) says, "Thou shalt not." And when He says, "Don't," we had better not. Those who ignore His rule will pay the supreme penalty. So if flirtations have begun, break them off at once, or shadows may settle over your life that cannot be lifted.

10. God describes love; make it your daily goal to measure up."Love is forbearing and kind. Love knows no jealousy. Love does not brag; is not conceited. She is not unmannerly, nor selfish, nor irritable, nor mindful of wrongs. She does not rejoice in injustice, but joyfully sides with the truth. She can overlook faults. She is full of trust, full of hope, full of endurance." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Weymouth.*

Answer: Please reread the above Scripture passage carefully. This is God's true description of love. How do you measure up? Love is not a sentimental impulse, but a holy principle that involves every phase and action of life. With true love, your marriage cannot fail. Without it, it cannot succeed.*Weymouth's New Testament in Modern Speech by Richard Francis Weymouth. Special arrangement with James Clarke & Company Ltd.

11. Remember that criticism and nagging destroy love."Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." Colossians 3:19. "It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman." Proverbs 21:19. "A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike." Proverbs 27:15. "Why beholdest thou the mote [splinter] that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam [whole board] that is in thine own eye?" Matthew 7:3. "Love ... looks for a way of being constructive." 1 Corinthians 13:4, Phillips.*

Answer: Stop criticizing, nagging, and faultfinding. Your husband or wife may lack much, but nagging won't help. Don't expect perfection, or bitterness will result. Overlook faults, and hunt for the good things. Don't try to reform, control, or compel your partner--you will destroy love. Only God can change people. A sense of humor, a cheerful heart, kindness, patience, and affection will banish two-thirds of your marriage problems. Try to make your spouse happy rather than good, and the good will take care of itself. The secret of a successful marriage lies not in having the right partner, but rather in being the right partner.

12. Do not overdo in anything; be temperate."Every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things." 1 Corinthians 9:25. "Love ... does not pursue selfish advantage." 1 Corinthians 13:5, Phillips.* "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31. "I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection." 1 Corinthians 9:27. "If any would not work, neither should he eat." 2 Thessalonians 3:10. "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled." Hebrews 13:4. "Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin." Romans 6:12, 13.

Answer: Overdoing will ruin your marriage. So will underdoing. Work, love, rest, exercise, play, worship, meals, and social contacts must be carefully balanced in your marriage, or something will snap. Overwork and the lack of sleep, proper food, or exercise make a person critical, intolerant, and negative. Constant overeating is a great evil that strengthens the lower nature and dulls the conscience.Sexual abuses destroy a love for holy things and weaken vitality. Marriage gives no license to sexual excesses. Degrading, twisted, or intemperate sex acts destroy love and respect for one another. A temperate sex life is recommended by the Bible (1 Corinthians 7:3-7). Social contacts with others are absolutely essential. True happiness cannot be found in isolation. We must learn to laugh and enjoy wholesome, good times. To be overly serious is dangerous. Overdoing or underdoing in anything weakens the mind, body, conscience, and the ability to love and respect one another. Don't let intemperance wreck your marriage.13. Respect each other's personal rights and privacies.

"Love is forbearing. ... Love knows no jealousy. ... She is not unmannerly, nor selfish. ... She does not rejoice in injustice. ... She is full of trust." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Weymouth.* "Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another." Romans 12:10.

Answer: Each spouse has a God-given right to certain personal privacies without explanation. Do not tamper with each other's wallets or purses, personal mail, and other private property unless given permission. The right to privacy and quietude when preoccupied should be respected. Your husband or wife even has a right to be wrong part of the time and is entitled to an "off-day" without being given the third degree.

Marriage partners do not own each other and should never try to force personality changes. Only God can make such changes, and we shall all answer personally to Him on this matter (Romans 14:12). Perfect confidence and trust in one another--no checking up on each other--is absolutely essential for happiness. Spend less time trying to "figure out" your spouse and more time trying to please her or him. This works wonders.*Weymouth's New Testament in Modern Speech by Richard Francis Weymouth. Special arrangement with James Clarke & Company Ltd.

14. Be clean, modest, orderly, and dutiful."In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel." 1 Timothy 2:9. "She ... works with willing hands." "She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household." "She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness." Proverbs 31:13, 15, 27, RSV.* "Be ye clean." Isaiah 52:11. "Let all things be done decently and in order." 1 Corinthians 14:40. "If any provide not ... for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." 1 Timothy 5:8. "Be not slothful." Hebrews 6:12.

Answer: Laziness, disorder, dirt, and slovenliness are the devil's weapons to destroy your respect and affection for one another, and thus ruin your marriage. Neat, modest attire and clean, well-groomed bodies are essential for both husband and wife. The meals should be wholesome, attractive, and served on time. The home should be clean and orderly, because this brings peace, calmness, and satisfaction to all. A lazy, shiftless husband who does not provide for his household is a curse to his family and an insult to God. Carelessness in some of these seemingly small matters is destroying homes by the thousands.*The Revised Standard Version of the Bible, (C) 1946, 1952, 1971 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA. Used by permission.

15. Determine to speak softly and kindly."A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." Proverbs 15:1. "Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest." Ecclesiastes 9:9. "When I became a man, I put away childish things." 1 Corinthians 13:11.

Answer: Force yourself to speak softly and kindly to your spouse. Silence, when one is attacked, is often the best method to cool wrath. Decisions made when angry, tired, or discouraged are unreliable anyway, so it's best to relax and let anger cool. And when you do speak, let it always be quietly and lovingly. Harsh, angry words crush your spouse's desire to please you.

16. Be reasonable in money matters."It [love] is not possessive. ... Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage." 1 Corinthians 13:4, 5, Phillips.* "God loveth a cheerful giver." 2 Corinthians 9:7.

Answer: All possessions and income in marriage should be "ours," not "yours" and "mine." Wives who don't work outside the home should receive a regular amount for groceries, clothing, and other budgeted items. It should be cheerfully provided instead of grudgingly released under protest. Wife and husband both should have small, equal sums (whenever possible) to spend as desired without giving account. A miserly husband usually angers his wife into being a spender, just as a wasteful husband makes a wife stingy. Showing confidence in your companion's managing ability will usually make him or her more businesslike.

17. Talk things over and counsel together freely. "It [love] is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance. ... It is not touchy." 1 Corinthians 13:4, 5, Phillips.* "He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul." Proverbs 15:32. "Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? there is more hope of a fool than of him." Proverbs 26:12.

Answer: Few things will strengthen your marriage more than counseling together on all major decisions. Changing a job or purchasing a home, an automobile, a boat, furniture, clothing (major items at least), and all other items that require money involve both husband and wife, and the opinions of both should be considered. Talking things over together will avoid many blunders that could ruin your marriage. If, after much discussion and earnest prayer, opinions still differ, the wife should submit to her husband's decision. Scripture is clear on this. (See Ephesians 5:22-24.)

18. I want my home to be a place the angels of heaven enjoy visiting.


Thought Questions

1. Which marriage partner should be the first to confess after a quarrel? (Romans 15:1 )The one who was in the right!

2. Could you suggest a rule for a meddlesome mother-in-law? (1 Thessalonians 4:11 )Yes! Be quiet and mind your own business! (See 1 Thessalonians 4:11.) In fact, this rule applies to all in-laws. Many a marriage that might have been a little heaven on earth has been changed into hell by in-laws. The duty of all in-laws is to leave the newly established home strictly alone.

3. My husband is a godless man, and I am trying to be a Christian. His influence is terrible. Should I divorce him? (1 Corinthians 7:12 )No! Read 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 and 1 Peter 3:1, 2. God gives a specific answer.

4. When my husband displeases me, I won't sleep with him. He says I am wrong. Am I? (1 Corinthians 7:4 )Yes! God gives a definite answer to this question in 1 Corinthians 7:4, 5.

5. My wife ran off with another man. Now repentant, she wants to return home. My pastor says I should take her back, but God forbids this, doesn't He? (Matthew 6:14 )No. No, indeed! God permits divorce for adultery, but does not command it. Forgiveness is always better and is always in order. (See Matthew 6:14, 15.) Divorce will seriously mar your life and the lives of your children. Give her another chance! The golden rule (Matthew 7:12) applies here. If you and your wife will turn your lives over to Christ, He will make your marriage supremely happy. It is not too late.

6. What can I do? Men are always attempting familiarities with me. (1 Thessalonians 5:22 )Be very careful of your conduct. God says, "Abstain from all appearance of evil." 1 Thessalonians 5:22. Perhaps your conduct around men--a suggestive smile, immodest clothing, off-color jokes, or a "too relaxed" and comfortable attitude--encourages their advances. There is something about Christian reserve and dignity that keeps a man in his place. Christ said, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." Matthew 5:16. When Christ really shines from your life, you will have little trouble with evil men and their advances.

7. Can you tell me simply and plainly what God's counsel is to one who has fallen but is truly repentant? (John 8:11 )Long ago Christ gave a pointed and comforting answer to one who had fallen into immorality but was repentant. He said, "Go, and sin no more." John 8:11. His counsel still applies today.8. Isn't the "innocent party" in a divorce sometimes partially guilty also? (1 Samuel 16:7 )Certainly. Sometimes the "innocent party," by lovelessness, inattentiveness, self-righteousness, unkindness, selfishness, nagging, and downright coldness, can encourage evil thoughts and actions in his or her spouse. Sometimes the "innocent party" may be equally as guilty before God as the "guilty" one. God looks upon our motives and judges accordingly. "For the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7.9. Does God expect me to live with a physically abusive spouse? ( )Physical abuse can be life threatening and is a serious problem that demands immediate attention. The spouse and family members who have been physically abused must find a safe environment in which to live. Both husband and wife need to seek professional help through a qualified Christian marriage counselor.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

12 ways to better yourself

How To Be A Better Partner

If you have ever been in a relationship that failed, you most likely have sat down afterwards and wondered what went wrong. Sometimes it is easy to spot how much of it was their fault but it is not too easy to look at where you, personally, went wrong. Everybody wants to be the best at what they do, and being the best you can be for your partner is no exception.

Listed below are 12 simple lessons that will help you to achieve that goal. Remember, if you want to be good to someone else, you also have to be good to yourself.

Be romantic.Whenever a relationship starts to fail, the lack of romance is one of the first indicators. It is very natural for people to get complacent and forget the fun things they used to do when they first got together. A relationship has to be constantly worked on and being romantic is an absolute must.

Never disparage yourself.Whenever you are disparaging yourself, you are basically saying that you are no good for your partner. If you don't believe that you are good enough for them, then you won't be. It's as simple as that. Don't sit around and beat yourself up over past mistakes, that will only prevent you from trying and succeeding at new things tomorrow.

Always be honest.There is not one single relationship that will succeed in the long run if built on a lie. Even if your partner never finds out the truth, the fact that you know you lied will affect your feelings for yourself and your partner. With that kind of a hindrance, the relationship will never reach it's full potential.

Do not do things just to keep your partner happy.How many times have you done something for or to your partner that you really did not want to do, just to make them happy? How did it make you feel? Every time you compromise yourself in that way, a piece of your love for them dies. It is much better to explain to them that you don't feel good about certain things and work on an alternative together.

Do not ask your partner to do things you know they don't want to do.This is the reverse of the above lesson and fairly self-explanatory. If you know they really don't like doing something, and if that something is for you and of no benefit to them, then why ask them to do it unless you are being selfish or mean?

Do not belittle your partner.Everyone makes mistakes in life and everyone works or catches on at different speeds. If you spend your time nagging at your partner or putting them down about every little thing they do wrong, then how can you expect them to do anything right? Do you want a life-partner or a puppy dog?

Do not put off things you have promised to do.Trust is an important part of any relationship and it needs to be developed. If you say you are going to do something and don't, then how can your partner rely on you in the future?
Always be there for your partner.Nothing is more important in your life than your partner. Friends come and go, as do children, but your partner is with you for the whole journey. If they are in trouble or need you, nothing else matters, other than to be there for them.

Communicate.Things change in a relationship almost on a daily basis. If you don't talk to your partner you could very easily wake up one day and find that you have drifted too far apart to bridge the gap.

Do not commit adultery or other harmful acts against your relationship.This one is really self-explanatory. Nothing destroys a relationship faster than infidelity or wrong doings.

Treat your partner with respect.It is extremely easy to take someone for granted and once you start to cross that line, it is very difficult to go back. Be careful not to treat your partner worse than you would treat your best friend.

Be open and receptive to your partner's wants and wishes.It takes two people to have a relationship and when you shut one of them out because you are not open to their ideas and wishes then you really don't have a relationship at all. Always be open and receptive to what they say. Also, be open to new experiences and ideas, you never know what you might learn.