Friday, July 31, 2009
Where was my blog about it? Where was my kudos?
I didn't need it.
It was something that needed to be done, and I was the one who had to do it.
I did what was my duty to my family, as any other man would do.
If anything I felt I OWED it to them.
That's what being a man means to me.
It means YOU are the one who needs to get the job done... because YOU are the only one can do it. Your reward is knowing it got done.
I have plenty of stories, besides this old one. Tales every man has undergoing every Trial by Fire imaginable can tell. This was nothing.
But I don't show people the "real me" online. They're stories for close, personal friends... and usually for comedic purposes.
There are plenty of stories by countless unsung heroes too. Firefighters, paramedics, police officers, soldiers. Fathers who worked hard and was a rock and a leader to their families during the hardest of times.
They didn't do it for praise or kudos either.
They did it because it needed to be done.
You know of their character because it's OTHER people singing their praises instead of themselves.
One of the many qualities that make a man.
They are chiseled by hardships, and their defining moments are thrust on them whether they want it or not.
It's the key to his strength.
What kind of man did you admire in your life and why?
I want to share with you a great breakthrough regarding health industry that will help you cure different kinds of ailments & will bring you overall wellness.
I'm not health buff at all but i had to admit i'm more beauty conscious neglecting my health bec. we all know that what's bad for are health taste much better than eating those so called fruits & veggies.
I'm a person who loves eating all those foods that is bad for my health but what can i do i can't resist all those delicious tempting foods.
What are the side effects of drinking coffee? I need to have at least three cups every day, sometimes even more than 5. It really helps me regain and boost my energy. Generally, I like to have healthy nutritional habits and but cannot decrease coffee intake. Can it be seriously bad?
There are some serious things about harmful effects of excessive coffee intake. Not about caffeine, but coffee. It has irritating effect on gastric mucosa and can lead to development of ulcers. Else, people that are heavy coffee drinkers may develop vitamin b1 insufficiency. Caffeine interacts with absorption of some nutrients in small intestines. The only healthy way to treat tiredness and fatigue is to have rest. Also, long term coffee drinkers often develop liver function disorders.
Spirulina is a cyanobacteria. Spirulina's scientific name is arthrospira platensis. This edible algae has a long history of safe human consumption and over 30 years of safety testing. Special farms where spirulina is cultivated under controlled conditions do not allow the growth of other contaminant blue-green algae, as in lakes and waterways.
World's highest beta carotene food reduces long term health risks.
Spirulina beta carotene is ten times more concentrated than carrots. So even if you don't eat the recommended 4 to 9 servings of fruits and vegetables every day (most people eat only 1-2, including french fries), get your natural beta carotene insurance from spirulina to help support your body's defenses.
60% easy-to-digest vegetable protein without the fat and cholesterol of meat.
People are eating less meat and dairy protein because they want to lower fat, cholesterol, and chemicals in their diet. Spirulina is the highest protein food with all the essential amino acids and has only a few calories to keep your waistline where you want it.
A rare essential fatty acid is a key to health.
Gamma-linolenic acid (GLA) in mother's milk helps develop healthy babies. Studies show nutritional deficiencies can block GLA production in your body, so a good dietary source of GLA can be important. Spirulina is the only other whole food with GLA.
Iron for women and children's health.
Iron is essential to build a strong system, yet is the most common mineral deficiency. Spirulina is rich in iron, magnesium and trace minerals, and is easier to absorb than iron supplements.
High in Vitamin B-12 and B Complex.
Spirulina is the highest source of B-12, essential for healthy nerves and tissue, especially for vegetarians.
Unusual phytonutrients for health and cleansing.
Scientists are discovering the benefits of polysaccharides, sulfolipids & glycolipids, and the rainbow of natural pigments that give spirulina a deep green color. Green (chlorophyll), blue (phycocyanin) and orange (carotenoids) colors collect the sun's energy and power growth. Chlorophyll is a natural cleanser and is often referred to as nature's green magic.
So, it's not so bad, is it?
What can Spirulina do?
- Strengthens the immune system
Spirulina improves the production of white blood cells, antibodies and cytokines to strengthen the body’s resistance against infection and sickness.
- Maintains cardiovascular health & lowers cholesterol
Clinically proven to improve cardiovascular health by reducing LDL (bad cholesterol) and triglyceride levels, and increasing HDL (good cholesterol) levels. Spirulina’s abundant antioxidants reduce plaque formation on arterial walls.
- Improves gastrointestinal & digestive health
Research has confirmed that spirulina promotes digestion and bowel function. It suppresses bad microorganisms and stimulates the growth of beneficial flora such as acidophilus and bifidus.
- Enhances natural cleansing & detoxification
Nature’s richest source of chlorophyll, spirulina accelerates detoxification and helps eliminate problems associated with toxin accumulation such as headaches, body aches, joint pains, bad breath and body odour.
- Helps weight control
With its super nutritious, high energy and low calorie composition/content, spirulina is excellent for those who aim to lose weight without having to suffer the typical tiredness and weakness, lethargy and nutrient deficiency. Taking spirulina before meals helps curb voracious appetites and food cravings that cause overeating. One of the best alkaline foods available, spirulina also reduces water retention caused by acidic waste accumulation in the body.
- Promotes healthy, vibrant skin
Rich in GLA, an essential fatty acid, spirulina helps maintain healthy skin, lustrous hair and strong nails, and helps rid the body of toxins that cause blemishes and other skin problems. Its plentiful antioxidants protect the skin from premature ageing.
- Protects against anaemia
Spirulina’s iron comes in a bio-available form that is readily assimilated and used by the body. It is greatly beneficial for menstruating or pregnant women, who are at greater risk of anaemia. Symptoms of anaemia include tiredness or chronic fatigue, a pale complexion, ridged fingernails, dry and brittle hair, dizziness, poor concentration and sleep difficulties.
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Wednesday, July 29, 2009
From EK: How do you define?
A nice guy.
looks out after you....
likes you but is too chicken to do anything about it....
fearful of getting hurt/not a risk taker....
makes her more important than him....
doesn't like his job all that much…nor his car, nor his apartment. He settles.....
Spends two hours helping you put your gfs wedding party favors together....
listens and coaches you endlessly on all the jackass, old bf issues....
comes to pick you up when you've walked out on jackass…again....
consoles you on the 2am jackass text message that you just received even though he has a big meeting the next morning....
allows the gf of the girl he likes to tag along on dates....
becomes best friends with the mom of the girl he likes thinking that will give him an edge....
is easy going to the point of being indecisive ....
holds your purse at the mall....
fuck, he actually goes with you to the mall!....
Buys you tampons
a good man.
winner! we want one of these!....
good morals, values, ethics, has integrity....
knows that its not all about him....
knows that if he gives a little, he gets back a little, plus interest....
humble and modest....
doesn't boast about his penis size, wallet, or car....
has a penis that knows how to get the job done, has a wallet that takes care of the essentials, has a car that you would be proud to put dad in the back seat, but doesn't brag about any of it.....
Actually knows that he doesn't know everything....
Cherishes you, on his terms, not yours.....
Holds your hair for you when you have to throw up....
With 3,000 different daily coffee orders, he knows your Starbucks order....
Declares you a saint because you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose....
Gives you tailpipe because he knows that is what you like....
Loves you even more because you haven't given him any shit for getting drunk, hanging out with the boys, and various other daily fuck ups (shy of cheating)....
Gets your stamp of approval. "Honey, im gonna do x. what do you think?"....
Makes decisions (this is a big one). Does NOT play the typical, male, passive-aggressive shit. ....
Pays attention to the little things
Is pretty damn good but always thinks he can improve
If something's wrong, he won't just walk out, he tries to fix it, even if it turns out that the problem is rooted in him. ........
Makes it known that hes the luckiest man alive to have you....
He doesn't give you what you want, he gives you what you need (emotionally)
someone who lies or deceives a girl for the purpose of getting sex
someone who thinks the sun rises and sets on him....
Selfish. Did I say selfish? Ya, selfish!....
Someone who thinks hes gods gift to women....
Someone who thinks you're gonna do him just because he has an 8" inches....
Someone who thinks you're gonna do him just because he is 24 years old (if youre older)....
Someone who thinks they know everything....
Someone who thinks he is somehow different and doesn't act like most men (trust me, he does act like most men)....
Someone who thinks women think the exact same way he does just because he thinks that way
Gosh, as I was writing this list, the one about....
He doesn't give you what you want, he gives you what you need (emotionally).
really got to me. this particular quality really makes me fall and fall hard. I'm not talking about material things, like he gives you a toaster because you need a new toaster. That's sometimes an ew, as men commonly give practical things. Im talking about emotional things.
It means he listened to such a good degree that he knows exactly what you need. Sometimes, its something you don't wanna hear. Sometimes, its something you haven't thought of. He doesn't give you what you want, as that is patronizing and catering to you, which would kick him back down to Nice Guy status. In order to do this skill effectively, he is CONFIDENT, CONNECTS WITH YOU, AND CARING. A trifecta! The guy who comes to mind who did this skill perfectly I only got let go because he didn't have the CONSISTENCY factor going on.
He took too long between calls, like 2-3 weeks, ya, I know he was super busy, but still. Also, he would run hot and cold. Sometimes he was deep and very intimate other times he was aloof and callous. Otherwise, a guy who has this quality, I would value you and never let go.
So there you have it. Now you know what keeps you in nice guy (friend) status. Use the list wisely.
Monday, July 27, 2009
But then there are times when these moments seem to be slipping away, your dreams seem to disappear, you would rather die than take another step, another breath, your smile fades away, your laugh hides behind emptiness, it feels as though your literally dieing inside, you fade into the darkness of reality that your falling apart.
But just as you feel everything is slipping at your fingertips something happens you never really expected, people talk to you, friends, family, or even people you barely know, they say something that changes how you feel, they do something unexpected, it could be as small as saying something like, "im praying for you" or "you are loved" maybe even just buying your favorite cereal, and then there are the people who talk to you everyday and make sure your doing better, even when they know its going to be hard to make you smile, they dont stop talking to you until they KNOW your feeling a little bit happier, they know what to say to make everything better, they make you talk because they know yourll feel better if you talk about it, they pick you up off the ground and brush the dirt off your back and make sure there are no broken pieces left, they tell you someone is out there created just for you, these people stay with you until the end.
These are the people everyone needs in there life, everyone needs a little bit of help every once in a while, everyone needs a hug sometimes, we all need someone strong enough to lean on, someone who is there for us whenever we need them, we need a smile, a random compliment, we all need someone who loves us, who cares for us, someone who loves us for everything we are.
So heres my thought.
When you find someone who takes your breath away, who makes you smile, someone who loves you unconditionally, who makes you feel as though you could walk on water, i want you to hold on to them and never let go, never give up, never fade away, go after them if they walk, hold them just a little bit longer. This person can be a girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse, it could be anyone, your brother, sister, mom, dad, and many others, dont let them go, tell them how much you appriciate them, because these are the people who will never leave you, they are the reason for living, so wouldnt YOU like to be THAT person? be that person who helps someone, be the one who just talks and makes sure they are ok, stay up just a little bit longer with them, even when you have to get up early the next day, be the one to wipe that last tear from his/her eye, be there until the end, be the one who changes someones life today!
I am realizing that this struggle is really about a lack of faith. Ouch! If I truly believed that God's strength is unlimited then I wouldn't try to do things on my own and I would immediately turn to Him for help. I was reminded of this morning as I was reading Matthew 14. Verses 13 to 21 tell of the feeding of the 5000. A large crowd of people followed Jesus to a remote place.
As it got later in the day the disciples began to panic. The disciples realized that this large group of people would need to eat soon. Their solution: send them away to get their own food. From their perspective (which I can relate to) it was the most logical thing to do. There was no way that they could feed all these people on their own. Jesus' solution was quite different.
He says: "No, they don't need to go away. You give them something to eat." I can imagine what was going through the disciples mind at this moment: "What?!? That is impossible Jesus! It can't be done!" This was exactly Jesus' point. Of course, the disciples couldn't do it on their own BUT they had forgotten WHO they were with. They were with Jesus!
It wasn't like the disciples hadn't seen Jesus do the miraculous already. The disciples had already seen Jesus do miracles like healing sicknesses and diseases, casting out demons and raising the dead. The disciples got caught up in the moment. They took their eyes off the One who could provide. They saw the impossible and forgot that they had the One who makes the impossible happen with them.
They saw the size of the problem as overwhelming and they forgot that Jesus could overcome ANY problem. What it comes down to is this: when we choose self-reliance, we choose to reject God! That may seem harsh but it is true. When we choose to do things in our own strength we are basically saying to God: "I don't need you! (at least not right now. After I fall flat on my face then we can talk)".
God's strength is ALWAYS available to us. We need to reject self-reliance and turn to Him. We need to stop saying "I can do it" and start saying "We (God and I) can do it!" or even better "You (God) can do it!" We need to continually remember that no matter we are facing or coming against that "What is impossible with men is possible with God." (Luke 18:27).
Usually when we discover a skin mole we try to learn how it got there and whether or not it is a birthmark or if it might perhaps be malignant. What most of us don't stop to think about is whether or not it may mean something more. Did you know that in the Chinese civilization the individuals study how to read these moles?
This is an art for them and depending on where the moles are situated on your body it may mean several various things. We are here to show you just what these moles could mean and how they can show off the type of person you are and the kind of life you are going to have.
When the mole is on the middle of the chest it is a signal that you are the kind of individual that has dreams and an ambition to succeed in life. This is the same for both women and men. If it is right beneath the chest - but still in the center then it is a sign that you are someone who has a kind heart and is very generous.
When they are located on the inner side of the wrist this usually means a couple of distinct things that will count on if you are a man or a woman. When settled on a man it means that you will have problems trying to keep the money that you will earn. The more money you earn the more you will be forced to spend.
On women this has a similar meaning. It implies that she is in all likelihood to spend large amounts of money then what she is able to afford and she has an unstable personality. When the mole is placed on the outer side of the wrist it means men will have a love life that is unstable. Women on the other hand will have a close friend that will deceive them and distribute gossip about them.
When you are reading skin moles that are on the center of your back this is a signal that men and women will have a challenging time trying to keep their jobs. Unfortunately it also means that they will experience a series of bad luck.
Let us always remember that the more we sincerely appreciate life from the heart, the more the magnetic energy of appreciation attracts fulfilling life experiences to us, both personally and professionally.
I am wishing a wonderful night to each one of you and also to all your loved ones!!
In my work, I get to see how this works on a daily basis... in fact, it has been proven scientifically that if we are holding an idea strongly enough in our minds, we become incapable of perceiving things around us that go against that idea... so if you are holding a negative image of yourself or life, you will not be able to see all the beauty and blessing... I believe that we are all just parts of the same conscious energy field, and what we are feeling/thinking/experiencing/wishing is transmitted out to all other minds, and we are all feeling this collective mind all the time... so the more positivity we send out, the more every one of us is able to access the truth of our nature, which is bliss!!! :-)
Synchronicity is a phenomenon where an event in the outside world coincides meaningfully with a psychological state of mind. "Meaningful coincidence"... Synchronicity - a term introduced by the depth of psychologist, Carl Gustav Jung’s work... Recently the term "synchronicity" was introduced into pop culture consciousness by the artist, Sting (an avid student of Jung) and the Police. And more recently - the best seller book entitled "The Celestine Prophecy.” The author, James Redfield, relies heavily upon the experience of "synchronicity."
Synchronicity was defined by Jung as an "a causal connecting principle," an essentially mysterious connection between the personal psyche and the material world, based on the fact that at the bottom they are only different forms of energy. Jung associated synchronistic experiences with the relativity of space and time and a degree of unconsciousness.
Synchronicity . . . consists of two factors: a) An unconscious image comes into consciousness either directly (i.e., literally) or indirectly (symbolized or suggested) in the form of a dream, idea, or premonition. b) An objective situation coincides with this content. The one is as puzzling as the other.["Synchronicity: An Acausal Connecting Principle," ibid., par. 858.]
The very diverse and confusing aspects of these phenomena are, so far as I can see at present, completely explicable on the assumption of a psychically relative space-time continuum. As soon as a psychic content crosses the threshold of consciousness, the synchronistic marginal phenomena disappear, time and space resume their accustomed sway, and consciousness is once more isolated in its subjectivity. . . . Conversely, synchronistic phenomena can be evoked by putting the subject into an unconscious state.[On the Nature of the Psyche," CW 8, par. 440.]
It is not only possible but fairly probable, even, that the psyche and matter are two different aspects of one and the same thing. The synchronicity phenomena point, it seems to me, in this direction, for they show that the non psychic can behave like the psychic, and vice versa, without there being any causal connection between them.[Ibid., par. 418.]
To gain a fuller understanding and appreciation for the Jungian concept of “synchronicity" – One needs to take a circuitous path called the Journey of Wholeness, or "Unus Mundus"...
Unus Mundus (literally meaning: One World) Journey of Wholeness
The four elements are depicted by the four cardinal Zodiac signs: Aries - fire, Cancer - water, Libra - air and Capricorn – earth.
Unus Mundus is the conjunction...
It's the royal mystical marriage of: Heaven/Earth, Sun/Moon, King/Queen transformed back into the original, undivided unity of the world soul... the world logos... the god image within... Unus Mundus is the final reuniting of our spirit, soul, and body with the world soul.
Unus Mundus In Alchemy
Renaissance alchemist Gerhard Dorn's highest goal and desire was transforming the four elements (fire, water, air, and earth) back into the original One World unity of Unus Mundus.
"Learn from within thyself to know all that is in heaven and on earth, that thou mayest be wise in all things. Knowest thou not that heaven [spirit] and the elements [matter] were formerly one, and were separated by a divine act of creation from one another, that they might bring forth thee and all things?... Know that man's greatest treasure is to be found within man, and not outside him...
From the alchemist text "Theatrum Chemicum" Volume One (1602 AD)
Gerhard Dorn's "Speculativae philosophiae..."
Unus Mundus In Mythology
In mythology, Unus Mundus is that mythical, imaginal place where heaven touches earth... Unus Mundus is the mystical land beyond all time and space... a sphere of unity where the opposites of: life/death, love/hate, peace/war, good/evil, spirit/matter all merge into one another and cease to exist separately... Then, there is only the One...
Christos "Understand that thou art a second little world and that the sun and moon are within thee, and also the stars...."
Origen, 2nd/3rd Century Christian Mystic/Theologian, Homilies in Leviticum, 126
Late 2nd Century Christian mystic Origen taught that Christ showed each of us the way to Unus Mundus by the example of his (Christ's) life....
Christ was the only person in the history of the world who had succeeded in the delicate, tricky balance of standing firmly with one foot in heaven while simultaneously placing his other foot on earth....
The place where heaven and earth meet.... it's the marriage of: Heaven/Earth, Sun/Moon, King/Queen
Have you experienced a "Unus Mundus moment?"
You know... Those brief, fleeting moments when we feel in total harmony with the flow and pulse of the universe? Those brief moments when we "somehow" know and feel that our lives are being mysteriously orchestrated by a power larger than ourselves? Those brief, shining moments when we feel more like "the windshield than the bug?"
Bringing Unus Mundus Down To Earth - (Unus Mundus & Synchronicity)
Examples of Synchronicity:
1. You're sitting at home... And then for no apparent reason you start thinking about someone you haven't thought about or seen for years... and at the same instant, the phone rings and it's the person you were thinking about... Synchronicity - meaningful coincidence... no apparent causal connection...
2. You're going on a road trip to San Jose, CA. Before going to bed that night, you set your radio alarm clock to wake you up the next morning with music. When the radio comes on the next morning, the words of the song playing on the radio are: "Do you know the way to San Jose?" Synchronicity - meaningful coincidence... no apparent causal connection...
3. One night, you have a dream about someone who used to be important in your life... This is a "someone" who hasn't been in your life, dreams or thoughts for quite some time - and the dream leaves you with an eerie feeling of concern for the "someone." Later on you discover that the "someone's" mother died on the same night and it was virtually at the very same moment you had the disturbing dream... Synchronicity - meaningful coincidence... no apparent causal connection...
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Ever fudge the truth a little? Here are a few red flag-raisers when someone may be fibbing to YOU…
We’ve all been guilty of a little white lie or two. But unlike in fairytales, a steadily lengthening nose won’t help you spot a liar — and, sad to say, our instincts aren’t always enough (witness Madoff … that love rejection … etc.) So, of course, this Forbes article, “How To Sniff out A Liar,”* by Melanie Linder sparked our curiosity. Is there really a way to know when you’re being told a lie? According to Linder, there may not be a fool-proof method, but there are some interesting signs that could point you in the right direction.
Check out the list we compiled after reading the article on ways you can stop a liar in his/her tracks… or, maybe get away with a few fibs of your own (not that we condone that!). Here’s an excerpt about how often we lie, to whom and if your sex makes a difference…
“According to an oft-cited 1996 University of Virginia study led by psychologist Bella DePaulo, lying is part of the human condition. Over the course of one week, DePaulo and her colleagues asked 147 participants, aged 18 to 71, to record in a diary all of their social interactions and all of the lies they told during them. On average, each person lied just over 10 times, and only seven participants claimed to have been completely honest.
To be fair, most of the time we’re just trying to be nice. (When your wife asks if you enjoyed the dinner she cooked, most husbands who know what’s good for them say, ‘It was delicious.’) Such ‘false positive’ lies are delivered 10 to 20 times more often than spurious denials of culpability, according to DePaulo’s research. Other studies show that men and women lie with equal frequency, though women are more likely to lie to make other people feel good, while men tend to lie to make themselves look better. As for who we hoodwink, ‘we lie less frequently to our significant others because we’re more invested in those relationships,’says Jeffrey Hancock, associate professor of communication at Cornell University.”
How to spot a liar:
- Are you getting yes and no responses to your interrogation? Watch out. You could have a liar on your hands. “Liars often give short or one-word response to questions, while truth tellers are more likely to flesh out their answers.”
- Physical signs: shifty eyes, high-pitched voice, sweating, heavy breathing, and not looking you in the eye.
- Is the person backtracking in their story to fill in missing details? Any further explanations offered? Is their chronology a little off because they keep leaving things out? If so, you might want to have a little more faith in them. “Liars are often reluctant to admit ordinary storytelling mistakes,” says the article.
- People who use second and third-person pronouns frequently may have something to hide. As a method to distance themselves from the lie, the article says they are likely to “ask that questions be repeated and begin responses with phrases like, ‘to tell you the truth,’ and ‘to be perfectly honest.’” Interesting…
- Hand gestures are often times a sign of someone telling the truth.
- The mode of communication being used could also be a factor. Apparently people are less likely to lie face-to-face than they are if it’s on the phone or online. To be exact, the phone enabled 37% of lies in the study, 27% face-to-face, 21% in instant messaging and 14% in e-mail.
Now you know. So be more careful, errr… more perceptive next time.
Become a Lie Detector
Introduction to Detecting Lies:
The following techniques to telling if someone is lying are often used by police, and security experts. This knowledge is also useful for managers, employers, and for anyone to use in everyday situations where telling the truth from a lie can help prevent you from being a victim of fraud/scams and other deceptions.
Warning: Sometimes Ignorance is bliss; after gaining this knowledge, you may be hurt when it is obvious that someone is lying to you.
Signs of Deception:
Body Language of Lies:
• Physical expression will be limited and stiff, with few arm and hand movements. Hand, arm and leg movement are toward their own body the liar takes up less space.
• A person who is lying to you will avoid making eye contact.
• Hands touching their face, throat & mouth. Touching or scratching the nose or behind their ear. Not likely to touch his chest/heart with an open hand.
Emotional Gestures & Contradiction
• Timing and duration of emotional gestures and emotions are off a normal pace. The display of emotion is delayed, stays longer it would naturally, then stops suddenly.
• Timing is off between emotions gestures/expressions and words. Example: Someone says "I love it!" when receiving a gift, and then smile after making that statement, rather then at the same time the statement is made.
• Gestures/expressions don’t match the verbal statement, such as frowning when saying “I love you.”
• Expressions are limited to mouth movements when someone is faking emotions (like happy, surprised, sad, awe, )instead of the whole face. For example; when someone smiles naturally their whole face is involved: jaw/cheek movement, eyes and forehead push down, etc.
Interactions and Reactions
• A guilty person gets defensive. An innocent person will often go on the offensive.
• A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and may turn his head or body away.
• A liar might unconsciously place objects (book, coffee cup, etc.) between themselves and you.
Verbal Context and Content
• A liar will use your words to make answer a question. When asked, “Did you eat the last cookie?” The liar answers, “No, I did not eat the last cookie.”
•A statement with a contraction is more likely to be truthful: “ I didn't do it” instead of “I did not do it”
• Liars sometimes avoid "lying" by not making direct statements. They imply answers instead of denying something directly.
• The guilty person may speak more than natural, adding unnecessary details to convince you... they are not comfortable with silence or pauses in the conversation.
• A liar may leave out pronouns and speak in a monotonous tone. When a truthful statement is made the pronoun is emphasized as much or more than the rest of the words in a statement.
• Words may be garbled and spoken softly, and syntax and grammar may be off. In other
words, his sentences will likely be muddled rather than emphasized.
Other signs of a lie:
• If you believe someone is lying, then change subject of a conversation quickly, a liar follows along willingly and becomes more relaxed. The guilty wants the subject changed; an innocent person may be confused by the sudden change in topics and will want to back to the previous subject.
• Using humor or sarcasm to avoid a subject.
Obviously, just because someone exhibits one or more of these signs does not make them a liar. The above behaviors should be compared to a persons base (normal) behavior whenever possible.
Eye Movement and Lying
How to tell if someone is lying based
on the movements of their eyes.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
It's EMOTIONAL attraction, and it's the difference between a man going out with you to "get to know you" and a man pursuing you because he can't get enough of you.It's the difference between a man telling you that he's too "busy" for a serious relationship right now (because he doesn't FEEL it for you).Or asking you if you can make room in your life for HIM (because he wants you and only you).
Curious how this type of attraction works?If you want to learn about it, then take a minute and read THIS:http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/NALA Hey, I want to share what could be one of the most important things you ever learn about ATTRACTING and KEEPING the right man for you. I'll start here: "You can't talk a man into feeling attracted to you, let alone want a relationship..." I realize that this may sound like an obvious statement, but judging by the emails that I get week in and week out, maybe it's not as obvious as it might seem. In fact, when I look at most women I know, even women who are real "catches" and have their act together... these smart women are also guilty of trying to talk and convince a man into feeling what they want him to feel. Heck, I've done this same thing myself with women I've dated in the past.
And so have most other men. It's a common mistake both men and women make when it comes to love, dating and getting into new and uncertain relationships. So, what do I mean by this silly-sounding statement that you can't talk a man into feeling attraction for you, or talk him into feeling the way you want him to feel? Well, let's start with some ideas that I hear in one form or another all the time from women.
Here are a few I hear the most: "We had an amazing time on our date and really connected on a lot of levels, so I can't understand why he never called me back." "I'm tired of 'dating' and I don't want to play games anymore. I just want to be myself." "I want a man who likes me for who I am. Otherwise, he doesn't deserve me." "I give him everything he wants, and I do the nicest things for him... and I don't understand why he doesn't feel the same way about me that I feel about him." "He calls me and wants to spend time with me and be physical and intimate, but then he say she doesn't want a relationship. I'm so confused because he says one thing, but does another, and I can tell he really cares about me." "We've been dating for a while, but things don't seem to be going anywhere after some time...and I'm afraid of what will happen when I ask him where things are going and how he feels."
And the list goes on and on... Now, I realize that these statements and the common situations I listed above are actually different from each other, and deal with different issues. But the fascinating things is that there's a common denominator in each of them. It's that if you're in one of these situations,then... You're not behaving in a way that is making him FEEL that intense kind of ATTRACTION that tells a man that he has to be with you, and only you.
She seemed to think that just because nothing obvious was BAD about the date, that this man should also be interested and attracted to her and want to go out again... or else something was wrong with him.
Maybe she thought that a few more uninteresting dates that didn't inspire the man to have to see her again would cause him to open his eyes and heart and see the light. Here are a few common problems that lead to"BORING DATE-IT IS" where men aren't inspired and craving a second date to get to know you better:
Problem #1) Playing it "safe" and trying consciously to get a man to like you. This includes following his lead all the time, not saying anything about how you think or feel thatyou think will upset him, and making sure that you're "polite" and never say anything that could be too controversial.
Problem #2) Acting "formal." This is death when it comes to interest and attraction. A man either feels like he's on a job interview and doesn't become EMOTIONALLY ENGAGED with you... or he's plain BORED with you and will have a hard time finding anything about WHO YOU ARE that is personally interesting. A man doesn't fall for a "good" woman, and doesn't want to be with her because she's good. A man falls for a woman who makes HIM FEEL GOOD, and who is exciting and fun to be around -even if she is a little "bad."Problem
#3) Being BORING. And talking about BORING things. At the top of the list are of course the things that women talk about and go to as a kind of "default" when they're wondering what to say - jobs, family, weather, etc. Everything that makes up "what people talk about to get to know each other." These things don't really help us get to know one another. Sure, they're nice... but they don't cost much for us to reveal, and we'd tell any stranger about these things if they asked in a nice way.
But more importantly, they don't create any kind of EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE or CONNECTION when you talk about them. In fact, they put a man back into the mundane aspects of his everyday life... and he'll bring those feelings to the table with him when you talk about all these things. And guess what happens then?
He associates these boring mundane everyday feelings with YOU. And viola... you are another boring date with nothing special or interesting going on. Now that I've covered a few of the problems and mistakes women make... I'll give you some deeper insights about these and what you can do to quickly have the right man feeling an INTENSE level of ATTRACTION for you in no time flat.
TRYING TO GET A MAN TO LIKE YOU
Trying to get a man to like you before he really knows you has a strange and fascinating effect -
It makes him feel the opposite of interested in you. It REPELS him. I've heard about and watched women go about dating in the "proper" way for years now, and consequently do everything they can to try and get a guy to like them. Dating the "proper" way usually consists of talk about socially acceptable topics, asking the other person about themselves and not talking about yourself too much, and generally trying to make sure that the man is comfortable and has fun. This is great, if you want to make sure that you and a man become great FRIENDS. But it practically guarantees that a man is NOT going to feel that special something for you that he can't describe but makes him want to shower a woman with attention and love he never even knew he was capable of before.
Unless you're Aphrodite the Goddess of Love who was the most beautiful woman on Earth... and men simply fall at your feet... then what makes a man interested in you as a woman for more than just a fling has nothing to do with being "nice",getting along with him, and making him comfortable.
Men are BORED TO DEATH BY THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR. Here's the thing... Without knowing that they even have an "approach", tons of women use this "I'll be like a great friend" approach when they go out with men. I probably don't have to tell you how this works out 99% of the time. Oh, there's also my personal favorite approach women take on "unknowingly."
I call it the "volunteer therapist" approach. It's when a woman starts digging for the things that a man is having a hard time about in his life, in hopes of connecting to him about something important in his life. And when they find this thing inside a man, they use it to become his VOLUNTEER THERAPIST. As though if they can make things better for a man, he'll magically transfer the understanding he feels into UNDYING LOVE.
And talk about a terrible way to go about trying to start a healthy relationship. Remember, you can't buy love. Not even with EMOTIONAL bribes. So don't try. When it comes to the kind of woman a man really wants and is looking for... being the nice and predictably boring woman will quickly put you in the "she's sweet but it's just not there" category. And you'll forever be STUCK there once a man puts you in this category. That's how it goes for most women who make these mistakes.
And becoming a man's therapist will work great,as long as he wants a woman to vent to and make him feel better. But once he's done with his therapy sessions,guess what happens to you? Exactly. He's off the couch and out of Dodge.
You don't want to aim to be the kind of woman a man might finally recognize and decides after a little while could be a good partner for him because there's something convenient you can do for him. This is the kind of woman a man can easily do without. And in fact, the kind of woman a man will PREFER to do without once he wants to move past all the "therapy" and issues in his life.
You need to be the kind of woman a man can't help but LOVE and WORSHIP because the FEELINGS and EMOTIONS you spark inside him are so exciting and deep that he can't help himself from feeling them.
You need to do the things that will bring a man into his FEELINGS and EMOTIONS in an undeniable way no other woman has before. And then, and only then, will a man truly and deeply NEED to be with you. And then, and only then, will a man instantly COMMIT on a physical and emotional level to a REAL RELATIONSHIP... without hesitation.
There will be no more fear of commitment. There will be no more worries about the timing, or what if it's too soon. And there will be no excuses like he's not ready, he's not looking, or he isn't in the right place in his career to think about something serious.
Don't get stuck there in your relationship and end up doing all kinds of worrying and "work"just to try and keep things alive. More work and more GIVING is not the answer. Check out the special letter and the free tips I've revealed from my "From Casual To Committed" program now right here:http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/FCTC Now, back to it.
Playing it safe and kissing up to a man, or showing him that you nervously hope that he is going to like you and give you his approval is a sure way to get either a man who will take things to a physical level just because the opportunity is there... or a man who won't call you back because he's not interested for real.ACTING "FORMAL" Don't talk about your job and your family for starters! BORING! There is plenty of time to talk about all this stuff and get into these things once you and a man are both EMOTIONALLY ENGAGED not just as two people, but as two people who are ROMANTICALLY INTERESTED in each other.
Let me give you a hint: Do you know what a "boring" and not so interesting woman acts like on a date with a man? Well, for starters she acts like she's NOT COMFORTABLE in the situation...
She talks too much about things she thinks will make her look good. She apologizes for the smallest little thing of no consequence like not being ready to order yet when the waiter comes.
Mix in a few uncomfortable silences and way too much talk about "He said/She said" or other peoples lives and relationships... and theassociated dramas and you've got the makings for a man deleting your number from his phone as fast as he can!
So, what's the answer? What's the secret tomaking the right man, when you finally think you've met him and want to get to know him, feel attracted to you and not be BORED? I thought you'd never ask.
Here are a few ideas for starters:
Tip #1. Talk about things you are passionate about. And no, I'm not talking about the 7 cats you have at home and how cute they are. Talk about something you like to do that has a PURPOSE. A man can and will relate to this... and he'llstart to see things in you he couldn't see before.A good example of this is a woman I know who loves to practice yoga. When she describes whatit is about yoga that fills her inside and makesher feel great physically, emotionally, and spiritually - you can't help but be drawn in.
Tip #2. Talk about something that isn't BORING, and instead a little out of the ordinary. One great thing to do is to get a man to talk about his life, then find things to make observations about that either let him know you "get him" and what he's about (why he does what he does)... or find little things to tease him about. This is a great opportunity for building the kind of attraction that will carry into the future. Men love joking and teasing. It's their universal way of bonding. And when a woman is laid-back and comfortable and playful enough tonot be completely serious and sincere 100% of thetime, it's refreshing and fun for a man. For example, if a man seems very hard-working and serious... you might make a flirty sarcasticjoke like this: YOU: "Well, it's too bad you're such a flaky slacker. I was looking for a man of substance. But I guess you're still decent company." And you say all this with a warm and playful smile on your face to let him know you're playing around.
He'll know you're joking, and want to engage in the playful behavior with you. HIM: "Well, that's too bad because I was goingto ask if you could start supporting me so I couldstop working all together and just sit at home andwatch TV all day." YOU: "Mmmm... what a turn-on a man like that would be for me." You get the idea... The magic here is if you can be SAYING ONE THING... but subtly MEANING ANOTHER THING. Men find this riveting and won't want the funand flirtation to stop.
Tip #3. If there is a silence, NEVER let it beuncomfortable. I think that it's great to stoptalking when you're first getting to know a manand enjoy a few silences where you're either justhaving eye contact... or you're simply in each other's company but not "filling the space" withidle chatter 100% of the time. If the conversation goes cold for a fewmoments, just pay attention to something else fora minute and don't be afraid to engage in the environment around you. This includes talking and paying attention to other people in a fun and open way, or making funny or silly observations of what's going onaround you. Strangely enough, a man will want yourattention more, and want to give you moreattention, if you engage with other people around you more often.
Tip #4. DON'T BE PREDICTABLE. The more predictable you are, the faster you will be considered BORING. Why? Long story short, there's a region of the brain that is tasked with trying to figure thingsout ahead of time and recognizing them to makequick meaning out of them. If this part of our brain can't easily recognize or predict something... we're made to pay more attention to it. It's an important part of our survival instincts as humans. Which means... if what you say and do is easily predictable and a man feels like he's heard what you're saying before (especially from other women)... then you'll by definition be BORING because you won't get much of his attention or interest. And you definitely won't cause him to have any kind of intense EMOTIONAL RESPONSE to you.
Luckily, the answer of what to do about all this is much easier than the "science" behind it all... Learn to say random things. Disagree with a man once in a while... even if it's just for fun and playful teasing... and keep him guessing what it is you'll say next and what it is you really mean. Then you're sure to have his attention - and his interest. Plus, you'll both have a great time. OK, I think you're getting the idea. Men don't want BORING.
A man would rather be with an interesting, fun exciting woman than the most loving woman in the world who was always serious. Once a man starts to feel that magical emotional and physical response called ATTRACTION,the entire situation changes, and you start having the kinds of experiences most women only dream about with men. And your RELATIONSHIP falls into place all by itself... without you having to worry and deal with a man who seems "iffy" and UNCERTAIN about being with you.
Most men go through life WISHING, HOPING,AND DREAMING that they will someday find a woman who is both radiant, beautiful, fun, and can make them feel the amazing feelings that come from the ATTRACTION created with flirting, teasing,and UNPREDICTABILITY. So what's the best way to learn how to make a man feel ATTRACTION for you?
Of course, my online eBook and my "Natural &Lasting Attraction" program. Making a man feel ATTRACTION isn't about luck, or about talking to him about the things that would make YOU feel it for a man. If you're ready once and for all to stop guessing at what works with men, and you'd like to learn how to start having a man quickly OPEN UP to you for more than just a "for-now relationship"where a man is simply passing the time with you FOR NOW... then I want to help you. You can download my eBook and be reading it within a few minutes.
Go get it here:http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/ebook Oh, and let me ask you... What should you do when a man you're with seems to be falling OUT OF LOVE with you? In my Natural & Lasting Attraction program,I explain the 4 common failing "approaches"or strategies women take on when they're with a man and they want him to start feeling something more. The most amazing part is that these 4 common"strategies" themselves are what have most men PULLING AWAY and becoming disenchanted day to day in the relationship in the first place.
Sure, some men aren't very good at "sticking with it" when it comes to love... but there's more to it than that. Do you want to stay at the mercy of whether or not a man decides he wants to "stick to it"with love or not... or do you want to make this a non-issue in YOUR RELATIONSHIP for good?
To learn what these 4 mistakes are, how to avoid them since they are sure to make a man pull away and stop "feeling it" for you... And to discover how to make a man feel much much more than just a physical attraction for you... but a deeper "emotional connection"and attraction as well, then it's time you checked out the program that will show you exactly how to do all this and more with a man.
Go here now to watch some free sample video clips from this program all about creating attraction with a man... and find out exactly how it can take your love life from disconnected and uncertain to passionate and engaging in no time at all. If you're ready to change your love life and the way men respond to you on a physical and emotional level... then now's the time.
More than a few women have asked me what makes a perfect man?
My response... there is no such thing as a perfect man!
What there is, are great men!
Some women are under the mistaken impression that if they can find the "perfect man" life will be problem free forever!
The truth is, we are all human; we make mistakes, we are learning, growing, changing. We have our idiosyncrasies, issues, and difficulties.
What makes a great man is one who is willing to work toward greatness!
In other words, guys that are motivated to live a good life, who strive to be a good person, who are doing all they can to be a great individual are the great men!
Typically these guys are aware of their challenges, understand what it is that makes a good person, and work toward embracing goodness!
So ladies, do not think there is a "perfect" man. There are great men for sure! There are guys who are sincere, respectful, honest, caring, compassionate, committed, decent, and fabulous!
But if you are looking for a Prince Charming who will sweep you off your feet, carry you to a palace where you will live happily ever after, best stop reading fairy tales!
It seems a common question women throughout the world are wondering.
I've addressed this topic in several different articles so thought I would collect and link several posts here so the question is addressed from multiple perspectives.
When asked, how to know if a guy is in love with you, my most common bit of advice would be... what does your gut tell you? What do you know inside? Listen to what you know to be true, not what you hope, wish, fantasize about!
The following links will give you a variety of information and ideas to help you know... if a man is in love with you!
Listen to your gut!
How to tell if a guy is using you!
How to tell if a man does not love you!
Ten tips to know you are being used!
How to tell if a man is in love with you!
How to tell if a guy is married!
If a guy truly loves you he will not....
How to know if a guy is using you!
How desperate are you?
Sex is not intimacy, love, or care!
Self esteem and the cycle of being used!
Is he cheating?
What do you think?
Take away the excuses, the rationalizations, the justifications for wondering.... what does your gut tell you?
If you are questioning, wondering, and asking yourself if a guy is cheating, your gut may well be telling you something you do not want to here.
Now, there are those women who are filled with anxiety, insecurity, and over the top jealousy, who misread signals and who have a history of not dealing well with reality. However, more often than not, your gut is honest, accurate, and giving you information of which you may not be consciously aware.
If you are feeling uncomfortable, unsettled, or getting some of those little nudges that something is just not right in your relationship, it may be helpful to take some time and acknowledge what it is that makes you wonder. What have you noticed? What seems inconsistent? What is different, out of character, or unusual?
What are your instincts telling you?
Now the hard part: allow yourself to be honest. To know one's partner is cheating is not something anyone wants to hear which is why women often go in to a state of denial and excuse making. Woman do not want to face the fact that their love interest has found someone else.
But you want the truth. Better to face reality than live with a man who is dishonest, cheating, and lying to you. Right? Right!
If you are in need of clear and specific clues that may help you know if a guy is cheating on you ask yourself these questions:
1. Is his behavior out of character? Is he more attentive? Less attentive? Buying gifts? Acting strange in some way? Is he less available? Calling more or less than usual? Is he constantly making excuses for his behavior? Apologizing and over compensating for something?
2. Is he moody? Constantly fighting? Walking out when things get tense? Hanging up? Seem irritable?
3. Is he removing himself from your life? Does he talk less? Have nothing to say? Seem bored with you? Does he seem "somewhere else"? Have little to say to you about anything? Is he disinterested and emotional unavailable?
4. Has the romance disappeared? Does he no longer tell you he loves you? Has sex diminished? Does he seem oblivious to your kindness and love? Is there little or no physical contact or affection, like hand holding, back rubs, etc.
5. Is he suddenly concerned with his appearance? Is he newly concerned with clothes? Have a new hairstyle? Wearing cologne for the first time in years? Spending more time getting ready, purchasing products, or getting a whole new look?
6. Does he have newly formed opinions? Is he participating in unusual activities? Discussing new ideas or thoughts? Interested in topics never before mentioned?
7. Does he talk less or more about a co-worker, friend, or colleague? He may start talking about a "friend," hoping to give the impression there is nothing going on. Or, he may all of a sudden stop talking about anything at work.
8. Are there very obvious clues that you have ignored? Have you found receipts from a hotel? Answered the phone and someone hangs up? Walked in while your guys was on the computer and he quickly deletes his email? Noticed frequent texts to some unknown person?
Obviously not every single item on the above list means a man is cheating. But if you sense something is not right, if you have a gut feeling that your guy is lying or deceiving you, it may be a good idea to take a good hard look at what is going on, and listen to what your instincts are telling you!