Saturday, May 30, 2009

Think Before You Act

Our actions reflects what kind of person we are.We should always be aware that we are the ones whose accountable in all our actions.We could never blame anyone for anything bec. God created us with individual minds to be capable to think for ourselves depending no one.We should always consider the pros & cons of our actions before doing it not just focus on the present event.Many of us fail to consider to see what will be the final outcome of their actions we tend to ignore the consequences bec. of our own selfish desire,all we think is what will be our primary benefit or the present outcome of it.We ignore the other cause & effect that would arise from our present action.Then if something bad happens resulting from what we have done from the past that can ruin our present lives we tend to blame ourselves or we try to find someone else to put the blame.But in reality even it is hard to admit we are the only one that is sole responsible of every action we make.No one is perfect & everybody commit mistakes.Isn’t it much nicer to learn from those mistakes rather than commiting the same mistakes all over again.

It is true that experience is the best teacher in life but that doesn’t mean that it is necessary to experience all things before we learn what is good & what is bad for us.Sometimes we need to think & analyze things so we can prevent unwanted situations.

“Always remember that PREVENTION is better than CURE.”

Thursday, May 28, 2009

7 cArdinal rUles of life.......

1. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present....

2. What other people think of you is none of your business....

3. Time heals almost everything, give time.

4.No 1. is incharge of your happiness except you .

5. Don't compare your life to order & don't judge them you

have no idea what their journey is all about...

6. StOp thinking to much, its alright not to know the anwer

they will come to you when you least expect it.

"If Love Is True It Will Never Fail"

To the man i love,

i'm so sorry for hurting you , just want you to know that

If people lOve you, be thankful that

you're One of the few whom certain people chose to show their emotions too...

LOve does not demand to be back, but it doesn't mean it exists to

be taken for granted.

If you can't return the LOve you're given, don't let it linger to grow alOne.

If you don't want it , refuse kindly.

LOve may not demand but it also deserves a heart that will better understand...


Being Kind is much more impOrtant than being Right....
For sOmetimes what a person needs is not "Brilliant Mind"
that speaks, but a Patient heart that

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


Life and God are one and the same. You are God's child. God would never close all the doors around you. His unlimited love and compassion wouldn't allow Him to be that cruel. God always keeps more than one door open. They may look as if they were closed, but they have, in fact, been left slightly ajar.

Just a mild knock is enough and they'll give way. But our eyes are blinded by our ignorance. We fail to see the open doors through which the light of God's grace is pouring in.My child, never lose courage. Never lose your trust in God or in life. Always be optimistic, no matter what situations you find yourself in. It's very important to be optimistic. Pessimism is a form of darkness, a form of ignorance that prevents God's light from entering into your life.

Pessimism is like a curse, an illusory curse created by the illusory mind. Life is filled with God's light, but only by being optimistic will you experience that light.Look at the optimism of nature. Nothing can stop it. Every aspect of nature tirelessly contributes its share to life. The participation of a little bird, and animal, a tree, or a flower is always complete. No matter what the hardships, they continue to try, wholeheartedly.

Only humans are pessimistic, and this causes suffering.Amma knows it isn't easy to always be optimistic. You may ask, how is it possible to be optimistic in the face of the many hardships and sorrows in life? It is true that it's difficult--but by being pessimistic you move towards even greater despair and darkness. All your strength and clarity of mind gets dissipated, and in the darkness of pessimism you feel abandoned and isolated. Optimism is the light of God. It is a form of grace which allows you to be much more perceptive and to look at life with greater clarity.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Who Is God?

The term God is common but can be problematic. It is fan how most of us can profess the name but without knowing what the word or the personality who is being described is.

who is God or what is God is an everlasting qoestion thius suggests that before we even ask the question someone heard asked the same question. What amaze me is the fact that the qeustion being everlasting does not have an everlasting answer

However this term or this pesonality can be know and can be defined. Why is it then we do not have the same definiton. FOr example what is a car will universaly have the same answer but what is God will not universally recieve the same answer.

God is a term that was coined by Theologians from different religions to mean a Divine Being that is surprime and above all that was ever created. The challege we encounter is as a result of different religion and different Gods. You arte right we are faced with the other crucial question, "if there are more than one God , then which one is the real one" At the same time the term real is very relative and can impliy alot of things. We can be sure however, that the God can be characterized by love and truth and holiness, is this in your God if yes then He is the real one, his love is unconditional.God further more is a living being and spirit

Habit plays very important part in our life. They have their effect on every thing we do. Our life is made up of collection of habits. Some are good & some are bad. The practice of good ones enriches our life---&--bad once weakens our life.

According to me some important steps are there to be follow: ---------------------------------------------------
We must sincerely intend to give up bad habits & want to cultivate good habits. When we suffer the effects, we understand the importance of giving up bad habits.

Fight against the habit with all the power at your command.


If no body knows about our resolution to give up a bad habit, then no body knows if we break it. This is not good since much of our behavior is determined

By social approval or disapproval. There for it will be helpful to let a few of our trusted friends knows what to accept their watchfulness.

Slowly the undesirables thought can be replaced, consciously by a desirable one since both can’t be held in the mind at the same time.


In this ways bad habits are driven out, new one established, & the whole pattern of our life becomes an increasingly positive, creative & satisfying one.

“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.

"Power Of Words"

Science is not belief, but the will to find out, it is organized common sense where some beautiful theories were killed by ugly facts - just as houses are made of stones, so is science made of facts - and WE see only what we know!

COMPROMISE: Let's agree to respect each others view, no matter how wrong yours may be ;P - seriously, just sharing my "confusion" about some "modern world issues" ;)

The power of words

I read this article today and it reminded me of a blog I've read last week... no name, but the entire blog was an "insult" from page 1 - page 7 or so, from the topic up to the comments...And I thought this article is a great reminder... sometimes I have to remind myself ;)Words can inform our mind, caress and comfort our feelings, excite and thrill our spirit, or warm and kindle the flame of our hearts. They can also slap our face, punch us in the stomach, rattle our nerves, kill our desire, or destroy our self-confidence.

Of course this is metaphorical, but these metaphors capture in words our physical reactions to what is said, and that is the power of language. It can emotionally move and affect us as powerfully as physical actions. In an average day we may use as many as 40,000 words, the equivalent of four to six hours of continuous speechWe use these words with much ease and usually little self-conscious thought.

We simply open our mouths, and out they come. With our words we express our beliefs, and ourselves while at the same time imparting some affect on those we are speaking to, and they, vice-versa to us. It is this very influence that our words have that truly gives them their power. We all, at times overlook the far-reaching strength of our words, but this ignorance makes us no less susceptible to their power.We have many superstitions about how we use our words. We are afraid to talk about events of which the outcome is still pending, for fear that our words will negatively affect what will happen.

The power of language starts to influence us in early childhood. We learn to associate certain words with the opinions expressed around those words. These associations are likely to stick in our minds even when we reach adulthood. In this way words gain some of their power through our unconscious. We are conditioned by the words we use and hear frequently, and they become second nature to us. This causes a problem when a word loses its literal meaning and becomes distorted in or own minds by the emotional connotations that surround it. "If words are not trustworthy in the privacy of our heads, they are even less so when they are converted to speech or writing.

We then become less able to relay what we really want to say because the words carry meanings that only we know the emotional connotations of. This is not only a problem when we are talking to someone else, but also when he or she is speaking to us. They may have their own emotional links to certain words; this then can cause our interpretation of what is being said to be different from what is actually meant.In human relationships, words can be especially powerful and sometimes dangerous.

We tend to use labels to define people and situation. In the worst cast, labels can reduce an issue to its simplest form, causing its importance or uniqueness to be lost. When labels are aimed at people, they can have the effect of dehumanizing a person by shrinking their entire being down to a single word. This is apparent in racism, sexism, and narrow-mindedness. The power of our words is twisted to override reason. Toni Morrison phrased it this way, "Oppressive language does more than represent violence; it is violence; it does more than represents the limits of knowledge; it limits knowledge . . ." We have all heard the saying, "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me!"

Children learn to say this usually after being the object of name-calling. But this saying couldn't be further from the truth. Our bones usually did make it through just fine, but something had been hurt. This is yet another aspect of the power that words carry. They can hurt us, and usually with a more deep and lasting effect than a physical injury could cause.Ultimately, we all hold the power of words within ourselves.

Whatever powers we give them, and however they may influence us, they are things of our own creation. With this knowledge we are charged with a great responsibility. Words reflect and give wings to everything that is inside of us, and for good or for bad, they can express what we truly are as nothing else can.How much are words able to hurt you? (written or spoken). And in what kind of situations?

I'll meet you halfway. I'll meet you HALF WAY.

I used to be, until recently, the kind of person that would try too hard sometimes. To keep a friendship. To do whatever it took to show my affection, appreciation, desire to be in your life. Basically I was some distorted form of a kiss ass.Then I decided to stop. You can't stop right away 100%, because it's behaviour that comes naturally, familiarly and sometimes you only realize you acted the same way, after the fact.

That's how change is, it's an evolving, continuous and step by step process of re-conditioning and waking up.I would more than likely meet you beyond half way and sometimes all the way at your end. Over and over again. Now I like to play more evenly.

Of course due to gratefulness there are a certain few individuals I still bend over backwards for. But if you're a new recruit in my life, don't expect such treatment. And if you're from my past and you've abused your "special" status, be sure, it will be re-voked upon new inspection.Who died and made you think you were above me? I guess it's more like: Who woke up and made me realize I was just as good if not better than you?.

So you wanna be all cool and aloof? Go knock yourself out with that. You want me to always reach out to you? Hhhhmmm yeah, ok. You want to respond only at your convenience while I sit and wait for you? You want to greet me with a wall while I open my arms to you? You want to think I need you and there's not much I can offer you in return?

Well, you are entitled to be and think that way. And I am entitled to sit here, at my end, not moving again until you extend your pompous self.I will gladly meet you half way then. But not an inch further my friend. Please note: This blog is not directed at anyone in particular. More like a mass communication to some in the past, some in the present and all in the future.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Sexy isn’t contrived. It can’t be put on. It has everything to do with how we feel inside of our skin and nothing to do with thong panties or bursting cleavage. Sexy resides in worn jeans or a little black dress worn barefoot. Sexy is unpretentious, unplanned, and innate. Some women couldn’t tap into sexy wearing Victoria’s Secret while other women wear a flannel shirt and boy cut panties to bed and they OWN it.

Young girls parade around in low rise jeans, showing an inch of belly in their skin tight t-shirts, wearing carefully sculpted make-up. They want to be sexy more than anything. It makes me sad. They definitely get attention that way, but it’s not because they’re sexy. It’s because they’re begging for attention, because most men can’t help but look at a pretty body on display.

But sexy doesn’t parade around like that. Sexy is in the way a woman wears her skin. She can be in worn jeans and a t-shirt, completely unaware of herself and be utterly compelling. It’s in the way she moves, the curve of her that shows as she stretches and bends and moves.

I’m never attracted to men that are overly coiffed and tucked. I see beautiful men that are so self-aware they can’t help but preen like a peacock in front of every reflective surface and I want to walk up and mess up their hair, un-tuck their shirts, tell them to RELAX. I’m never attracted by pretention. But men in worn jeans and t-shirts compel me. They’re the men I want to touch.

Regardless of whether we’re talking about men or women, the same rule applies. Sexy doesn’t TRY. Sexy simply IS. You can’t buy it or put it on. It’s in your skin. It’s in your slow smile.

I see shirtless men all around myspace and I cringe. Why? It’s designed to be attention getting, sure, but it’s not sexy. I see women thrusting their cleavage out, flashing bikini pics, doing their best to capture male attention and they do but more often than not they miss sexy by a mile. It’s the pictures of women with beautiful smiles and sparkly eyes that capture attention. Women, don’t put on a faux “sexy pout.” Don’t climb into your web cam with your shoulders back and cleavage bursting out. Trust me here. Sexy is in the subtle, easy showing of skin and a wicked grin that draw us in; I think we’re all drawn to that, men and women.

Or maybe it’s just me. I admittedly prefer ripped jeans and t-shirts. I love boy cut panties and tank tops. I love natural hair and beautiful smiles. I love men in jeans and t-shirts.

More than anything, I love a quick mind. I love strength and kindness. I love to be challenged. No amount of good looking can compensate for those qualities without which a man has no sex appeal to me. I realize there are differences between the perceptions of men and women. Men are more visual creatures.

Isabelle Allende said, “For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.” It’s SO TRUE. The men who understand this are dangerous. : ) Men’s voices can melt me or leave me cold or leave me feeling utterly neutral. And the words you choose are important, men. Say them just right and we’ll melt for you.


Will you tell me your thoughts on what you find sexy? I may be off by a green mile when it comes to the way men perceive women. If I am, tell me or show me.


The true test of FAITH is not your attitude in times of peace

But you disposition in times of crisis;

Your ability to remain calm and confident in the storms of life,

Is a reflection of how much grace you have in you

And how much trust you have in God.

When you say a situation is hopeless,

You belittle God, undermine His power and make Him a liar.

What can be more demeaning and dishonoring-?

Than declaring “impossibility” before Him

Who says “all things are possible”?

The WILL of God will not lead you

Where the grace of God cannot keep you.

Whatever God allows in your life,

He gives you apple grace to cope with it

And sufficient strength to triumph in it.

Fear does not make you escape evil,

It only makes you unfit to cope with it

When it comes.

So, banish fears, worries and doubts

And rest in your father’s infinite love, grace and care.

He has never failed and He will never fail.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I want to just start with this: I want a witness to my life!

I recently heard this in a movie, but I've been saying it all my life!

I have friends come to me and ask me questions like "Why isnt it working?" or What can I do to fix it with him/her?" and I give them all the same answer.


If that person wanted to be there they WOULD be there.

Its as simple as that.

A person who loves you is a witness to your life, loves and your passion. They are witnesses to your accomplishments and even to your failures that make you stronger! They are a witness that you lived your life out loud.

With that said here is what I want in a woman. If you women can print an application up then I can too.

I want a woman who doesnt give a damn about public displays of affections. If we are out in public I want to hold hands, kiss you and snuggle close cause thats how we roll. We're in love lets act like it and the hell with anyone who doesnt like it.

I want a lady who IS a lady but has enough sense of adventure to be ok getting dirty as well.

I want someone who loves me just for me, not what I can give her monetarily or what she can use me for.

I want to know when you say you love me its me you're thinking of too! No people who are still hanging on to someone who doesnt give a damn about you. If the guy your thinking of isnt there he doesnt WANT to be there and thats just bottom line.

I want a lady who if I say I want to go scuba diving, then she is rushing off to the closet to help me get OUR gear packed and ready to go. I want a scuba partner with a sense of adventure.

I want someone who loves theme parks, natural caverns and all the other fun stuff to do.

I want someone who doesnt mind that side of me at times that doesnt plan a trip I just get up and say lets go. Nine times out of ten those are the most fun trips you can take.

I want someone who means exactly what she says and is honest with me. Even if you have to hurt my feelings at least be kindly honest, and be WHO you say you are!

I want someone as passionate as I am.

I want someone who can love a person with unconditional love.

I want someone who is sane and no just out to hurt someone else or even the score between the battle of the sexes. As far as I'm concerned there is no battle.

I want a woman that takes care of herself cause if we get together as a couple I dont want to have to bury you two years after we're married. Accidents and surprises aside what I'm talking about is that I want you to want to be there and to take care of yourself so we have a long happy life together.

Be my lover, my partner and my friend and damn it be my team mate too!

I want someone excited about coming home to see me cause if I'm in love with someone I'm damn well counting down the minutes to come home to you.

I want a woman who doesnt mind me going shopping with her and that doesnt mind me sitting near the booth while you try on clothes and even showing me what your trying on. (Even if its a night gown!)

I want someone who wants to watch a sunset with me.

I want someone who when I say I am going riding, she is already grabbing her helmet, leather jacket and telling me to wait till she puts on her boots so she can go with me.

I want someone not afraid to dance.

I want someone who's not afraid to sing.

I want someone that wont settle for me being less than who I am and who makes me want to be a better person.

I'm a complete person but I want someone who makes me feel like she completes me.

I want someone who can forgive me when I screw up.

I want someone who loves to lay in bed on rainy days and watch the lightening and listen to the rain and thunder and make love all day long.

I want a lady who loves to cook with me and try new dishes.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Are there certain things you believeabout men and relationships that can actually beHURTING your chances at real and lasting love? Tell me if you agree with any of thesestatements about men:-Men like a challenge. They like the chase. If you're too "easy" or approachable, they'll get bored or lose interest.-Men are dominant in relationships and women therefore are unable to express themselves.-Men cheat and are incapable of being monogamous.-Men would secretly love to date and sleep with different women the rest of their life rather than just have to stay with one serious committed relationship.-Men just want to have fun and "freedom" and no responsibility.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

A man can feel a certain level of attraction for you that will have him act loving, but is only as deep as him knowing that he wants to get physical with you.It's another kind of attraction altogether for a man to want a long-term relationship with you.Do you know what it is a woman can do that makes the difference?

Do you know how to trigger the kind of attraction that gets a man to naturally open up, share himself and think about the future with you?I'm not talking about purely physical attraction, or the kind that makes a man want to BE physical with you.You know, like the kind of "attraction" that makes a man want just a casual fling... or a Friends With Benefits situation only.No, I'm talking about the kind of Intellectual and Emotional Attraction that makes a man want to be around you... and want to have you in his life for the long-term.

I'm talking about the kind of attraction that makes him think about you all the time. The kind that makes his heart leap whenever he remembers the times he spent with you.Here's a secret about creating that kind of feeling inside a man:It's completely possible to do or say certain things that will turn on that magic switch inside a man's mind that will make him sit up and take notice... that will make him emotionally attracted to you.At the same time, there are ways to KILL any chance of that kind of attraction...and these are common mistakes that many women carelessly make (especially when they are really INTO a guy).Read this special letter I wrote about my "Natural And Lasting Attraction" program, where I give you some free tips, DO's and DON'Ts when it comes to being irresistible to a man:

Today I'm answering a question I received via email that I know you'll be interested in, because it points out the one biggest mistake that so many women make when it comes to getting "physical" with a man. Read on...>>>

Question From A Reader:I purchased your e-book last night and have been reading it. Wow! But I admit I skipped to some parts to get to others that I thought I needed toread first... and now I'm going back to read the entire thing. I wanted to share something with youfirst that struck me.I have made the mistake of admitting to a friend that I have feelings for him - more than afriendship. We have been intimate with each other about 3 times. Everything was fine until I mentioned my feelings to him. I wasn't asking himfor a relationship...but he took it that way. I have since then been pouring my heart out to him and pretty much looking insane.Is there any way to save it? I know he hasfeelings for me.Please help...and tell me how to reverse thedamage I have done.Thanks so muchT.>>>

My Thoughts:WAKE UP GIRL! I've got to knock some sense into you for your own good. Since you have my eBook, go back to Chapter 6 and read it again. Your fears are taking over your emotions...which in turn is driving the behavior that your guy is responding negatively to. You've stopped steering your life emotionally and you've let go of the wheel.

In Chapter 6, read about the "Emotional Gap," and about "Setting Yourself Apart From Other Women," starting on page 159. And I've got some new ideas for you too... There's an important scientific word I want you to learn and remember. You ready? Here it is: "Duh." You OBVIOUSLY have real feelings for him -you're sleeping with him! And I'm willing to bet you had these feelingsall along, but you just weren't completely upfront about them. Your situation is possibly the WORST kind ofuphill battle a woman can have with a man early on. It's a BIG NO-NO. Actually, it's "THE" big NO-NO in the earlydating stage...

Using purely "physical attraction" to start a potential relationship. For most men, it's easy to go from a meaningful and committed relationship to one that's casual and purely physical. But, it is almost impossible to go from the"friends-with-benefits" situation to a deep,fulfilling, intimate and lasting situation. I know this firsthand, both from my own love life and from talking to lots of men and women I've known in my life.

So... rarely do I give rules, but here's anabsolute RULE when it comes to men: DON'T EVER try and start things with a man at a casual and purely physical level if you EVER want the option for something more meaningful or long-term. Men don't work this way, like it or not. And don't try to get a man BACK with physical attraction and sex either. It's a dead-end street.

OK... now that I've got that off my chest, here's the first thing you need to do. Go read my book again. (Just buying it won't help you.) I write about Sex and Commitment in Chapter 8, on page 241. I reveal exactly what men think about the whole "friends with benefits" situation and how to time sex with dating so you're not left feeling "insane" when a man just doesn't want anything more than a purely physical relationship.

(And if you're reading this now and want to get your own copy of my eBook, "Catch Him & Keep Him" and be reading it in minutes, click on the link below. You can try it free for a full 7 days before you commit to paying for it):

Here's the worst part of this whole situation. You're smart and you know better. I can tell. It doesn't surprise me that you couldn't see this coming. Somehow, when you're in the thick of it, attraction and "love" can blind you. So I'm going to give you a refresher course in what to do and in order to have the happiness and love you need...and deserve. I'm going to give you 4 simple rules to follow that will guarantee you won't be "stuck" with a Friends With Benefits situation ever again. Ready? Ok, here we go...

1. KNOW YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU'RE AFTER You said, "I have made the mistake of admitting to a friend that I have feelings for him." It's NOT a mistake to share your feelings with a man. It IS a mistake to share your feelings with aman 1) too early and

2) in a negative context. You set yourself up for failure by choosing and "tolerating" a situation that just doesn't work for you. That situation is being "ok" with a purely physical situation when in fact you need - and want - more.

When you're OK with the way things are one minute, but then are looking and asking for something more and saying you're not happy withthe way things are NOW, you've INSTANTLY becomethe kill-joy and antagonist in the relationship.

One minute you're blissfully happy in his embrace and then a day or two later you're sulking and awkward because you just blurted out what you feel or what you want, and you've taken him by surprise.

All because of a "talk" you wanted to have with him. Yeah, I'm being a bit harsh here, but it's for your own good. Instead of being open with yourself about what YOU are truly after, you pursued this "friends with benefits" strategy to get things moving.

That's why you're freaking out. You thought you could handle it. You thought you'd get something out of it. And for a minute, it was fun. But then your feelings snuck up on you. Eventually you were reminded of what you're really after with a man and what you value. Right now you have two pictures in your mind:One picture is of this "casual" thing going on.And the other one is what you actually want. The two pictures are so radically different and far apart from each other, that it's no wonder you're acting "insane."

Your expectations are COMPLETELY out of line for what you're ACTUALLY doing with this guy. It's time to stop creating situations in yourlife that you KNOW won't make you happy orcomfortable in the long run - even if they feelgood in the moment.

2. FIND YOUR PERSONAL STANDARDS & REQUIREMENTS...AND THEN STICK TO THEM Starting things with a man in this "casual sex"way, is a SUREFIRE way to ruin your odds ofcreating something more meaningful in the future. I'm a guy. I know. But, more importantly, getting into a "casual"situation with a man you might want to date more seriously and exclusively, has a VERY HIGH potential to make you FEEL AWFUL.

So... Unless you're one out of a hundred thousandwomen who gets "swept off her feet" by an open, caring, great communicator, who makes moving into a committed relationship effortless... then you're going to have to start asking yourself some real questions about what you really want from your love life.

And once you have the answers, actually be honest about them from the start. Here's an important question to ask yourself: "WHAT ARE MY NEEDS?" And I do mean YOUR needs. Not his. Not what you're accepting or tolerating or hoping to get from a man just because there's nothing better around right now. Be clear here and think it through. I'll give you a minute...

Most of the women I know who are dating have a set of subconscious requirements from the men they're seeing. That those men are honest. That they are exclusive. That it's going somewhere, and it's not just going to be casual dating forever. But these aren't things they are willing or able to communicate directly with the man they're seeing. So, they end up in a situation that is anything but what they were looking for.

They say, "This is fine for now. I'm just enjoying myself." They are not being honest with themselves about their bottom-line "must-haves" and therefore can'texpress these things to the man, either.

From my experience, here are a few of these "must-haves" that women often aren't honest about at the start:- That any man they're involved with, in any way, isn't dating or still involved with another woman- That he's open and ready to explore a seriousrelationship once they get to know each other- That they share the same values andpriorities (or he can at least appreciate and support her values)

So, how in touch are you with your REQUIREMENTS for feeling good when it comes to men and dating? And how do you communicate these to a man? Do you do it indirectly by acting frustrated and angry when your needs aren't being met, after you've already become intimate and emotionally invested in the relationship?

Or do you do it directly and in a positivecontext as things are GETTING STARTED, so you're in sync from the get-go? Remember, 99% of the time, a man is NOT going to make the right decisions for you, or magically and telepathically recognize and meet all your needs. Sticking to a set of minimum standards and then communicating those helps show a man what it's going to take to make you happy.


I observed something FASCINATING about people and relationships a few years back. When we're in a situation that causes bad feelings and friction of some kind, there is always some kind of "payoff" for one or the other person...and that's why they persist in sticking with the bad situation. Here's what you're getting out of the "casual"thing... You get a safe and risk-free path to get closeto this guy.

Even though technically you're not "close" at all. I call this "working it from the 'friend zone'." After all, how vulnerable would you be if youshared what you REALLY were looking for upfront, BEFORE you slept with him? You might be disappointed or rejected, or you would be unable to continue the "friendship" that you have right now.

And maybe having to start over alone mightactually be worse in your mind than havingsomething crappy and low-quality that you're "tolerating" now. But if you look deeper, you'll probably see that your desire for something more was there all along underneath the surface. Therefore, I doubt that you could have been "just friends" with him anyway, even if you never slept together, without you feeling short-changed in some way.

That's why you have to show a man that you're strong and you know what you want, and you won't settle for scraps or second-best or "good enough for now." My favorite way of thinking about how to dothis, is to be like a "velvet hammer." Be strong and assertive, but warm and gentle at the same time. Say, "I really like you.

Probably too much to be JUST friends. This is why I'm not sure we should continue this situation unless you feel thesame way." If you can say this in a way that doesn't include BLAME or guilt or pressure from you, the response a man will give will be MAGICAL.

He'll open up and meet you at the level of honesty and respect you're coming at him with. And as tough or self-centered doing this might sound right now, this is exactly what you need to say to a man if you really want something more with him. And doing this, and only this, can get you out of your "friends with benefits" situation and into a great relationship. Trying anything else is almost sure to end up in a series of misunderstandings and hurt feelings. But you might be thinking- WHY does this kind of language work with a man?

Because it sends a strong SUBCONSCIOUS signal to a man that the woman is in CONTROL of her lifeand her world. There's nothing that triggers more intense"long-term" attraction in a healthy and matureman, than a woman who he CAN'T control and who doesn't get thrown off-balance when her needsaren't met.

Using the "velvet hammer" also has anotherAMAZING benefit that women don't often recognize... or they don't even see as a benefitat first. It WEEDS OUT the guys who DO need to go away because they're never going to (or just don't wantto) get their act together in the first place. You don't want to be stuck in a dead-end situation that's just going to make you feel WORSEthan you felt before you met him, do you?

Of course not. And sure, sometimes a guy will hear that and disappear for a while. But the best part is, if he's one of the "good guys" you want to be with for the long-term, he'll come back around. And when he does, he'll have done all the leg work to be a better, more conscientious partner. The kind of partner you could have never molded through any amount of fixing or convincing.

4. DISCOVER AND USE WHAT CREATES DEEPER ATTRACTION AND CONNECTION WITH MEN Ever hear of "approval-seeking" behavior? It's when we try to do and say things simply toget a positive reaction or judgment aboutourselves from someone else. Well, it's a HUGE MISTAKE to make with a manearly on.

Your need for your guy's APPROVAL is your worst enemy right now. To him, what you're doing is actually thecomplete OPPOSITE OF ATTRACTIVE. I'll give you an example... Have you ever seen what it looks like when aman is shamelessly seeking the approval of awoman? As he's just getting to know her and he seesthat she hasn't completely made up her mind to want to be with him, what does he do? He buys her gifts. He calls her all the time. He offers to do favors and errands for her. All these are attempts to prove to her thathe's good enough to be with her or to get herattention. This is also known as the "really nice guy" approach. Women just never seem to quite "feel it" forthe super-nice guy. Not because of the gifts and flowers and favors, anyway. A guy can already be attractive AND do nicethings... agreed?

But doing nice things doesn't MAKE a man more attractive. Instead of feeling attracted to a guy youweren't too "into" at first, you start losingrespect for him when he goes overboard and triestoo hard with the calls, favors and gifts. You lose respect because you know you can CONTROL him. This isn't conscious, either. It's just how you feel, and feelings are pretty powerful forces.

Ever stop to think that the same thing mightwork in reverse between a woman's behavior and a man's? That a man may feel like he can "control" you if you're running around trying to please him or do favors for him or be "nice" to him in order to get him to want you? Interesting... For men, approval-seeking behavior KILLS thespark that comes from a man's uncertainty of notknowing exactly how the woman he's with is going to think and act. If he can predict what you're going to do and feels like he has you "in the palm of his hand", what is he going to wonder about when it comes to you?

And what if you start acting predictablyNEGATIVE? Think about it... It's a "natural tension" and challenge ofnot having CONTROL and uncertainty that creates strong ATTRACTION in men.HERE'S WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT What most women ask in situations when a man isn't responding the way they want him to is... "WHY is he acting this way and how do I make sense of it and "fix" it?" Well, you can't "fix" a man. And I really feel for you if you're one of those women who are trying. But, you CAN change a situation and theFEELINGS that a man is having for you.You can change how he experiences you.

The toughest and most important thing tounderstand is that men's behavior and thinking in these situations isn't at all LOGICAL. In other words, how a man reacts doesn't make ANY "sense" and doesn't follow any rhymeor reason. So, of course, it baffles and frustrates womenwhen they run it through their own "sense-making filters." Let me ask you a question... If you were an attractive man, would you wantto find a woman who you had to TEACH how to make you attracted and feel good... or would you want a woman who just "got it" on her own naturally...and everything flowed? Duh. (There's that scientific word again.) You'd want the woman who already "got it."

So, more likely than a conspiracy againstwomen, men just naturally respond to women who GET IT, and DON'T respond to women who DON'T. OK, let's talk about these concepts a littlebit more. Attraction, and wanting to be with a woman, isabout a man perceiving that he and a woman are "naturally compatible" because his emotional and physical sparks fly when he's around her.NOTE: I did NOT use the word "logical" here.

Attraction and wanting to be with a woman long-term is NOT the result of a man meeting a woman and then thinking to himself: "Let's see...she's got a good job, works hard, is pretty cute, and is a really good person... Hmmm, I think that we have some natural attractiongoing on here." WRONG.

For a man, attraction and the desire to be witha woman (and stay with her) is either THERE or it ISN'T. There are no two ways about it. Fortunately for you I've put together an entire program just about attraction: how it works for a man, how to trigger it, what to avoid doing so you don't accidentally "kill" it. Exactly what does it take for a man to feel a longing for you, to feel connected and devoted to your happiness?
What I need for happiness this view a rug dry grass.
Heat from the sun touch of tattered wind coffee in a flask
a pack of cigarettes
Note pada penand you.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

what is the factor of love???

Since this is my first life experience to write a blog, i would like to start with a subject that everyone in this world would like to talk about(unless the person has no feeling …hehehe)……which is …..LOVE. Before that please forgive me if i did any grammar mistakes and please correct it for me……..Well it is very complicated and confusing to talk about this matter…..but what to do ….we are all trapped in the word Love…..
i always have burning questions in my mind…………………..about LOVE..Actually what causes someone to fall in love with someone?What makes them to love others? What?What?What?What?What?…………………..Ehm do you have any idea????
But then i found that love can be categorised into many chambers like human heart ……but i think love is more complicated than that….For examples, love between parents,love between friends,pets,teddy bears,cars……and the most important one…….love love love between LOVERS…hehehe. My question is what causes a person to fall in love to someone? Are they sexually attracted to each other? Are they attracted to each other because they have similar or same characteristics or behaviours? Are they attracted simply because they are different from each other? Are they attracted to their personality or appearance? Are they attracted because they are affluent, smart, genius and so on??????
Actually do they really attracted to someone and then they call it as a love or they receive any “electric signal” from the opposite sex or simply because they fall in love and do not know whether it is love or not but make a decision that they are in love????/EHMMMMMMMMMMM………………………… is really complicated…………………………….IT IS undefined …………..clueless……………confusing…………………….but yet it is still a very very very very very sweetest feeling that you ever had in your life………………:)