Friday, February 29, 2008

10 Ways to Know if The Relationship is “Right”

1. You feel good about yourself and your world.
A good relationship makes you feel great. It should fill in your “gaps” and make you feel whole. It should give you emotional strength and help you to feel that everything is ok - and will continue to be.

Another good sign is that you’re better able to survive disasters at work, at home, etc. - not because you know someone will be there to solve them, but because you know that YOU can.

2. You look forward to spending time together.
Far too many couples stay together out of habit. They don’t really look forward to being together and try to find ways to avoid it. For example, they always try to include other friends, go to an event so that they’ll have something to do, etc.

Another sign is fear of the “conversation lag” where nobody has anything to say. If your relationship is “right”, you’ll enjoy spending quality time together - even when it’s quiet.

3. You respect your partner, and “talk him or her up.”
Is there anyone that agrees with everything someone else says or thinks? (I can tell you - nobody agrees with everything I say!) There’s no reason you have to agree with everything your partner says or thinks either. However, you should RESPECT them for it - right or wrong.

Further, when you respect someone - really respect them - you find yourself “talking them up” to people. You say things like, “You know, my girlfriend said something that I don’t agree with, but it really made me think” or “My husband really knows about wood working - you should ask him about it.”

What this really shows is your focus - if you find you’re always talking about yourself, you’re not focused on your partner - or the relationship.

4. You are really interested in what he or she thinks.
Along with respect, you’ll find that you are interested in your partner’s thoughts on different things - and you ask. You might have heard the President of your company say something and you ask your wife to get her take on it. Or, you may have come up with an idea that you want your boyfriend to think about - and you’re not afraid of getting shot down.

5. You are aware of, but ignore their quirks.
Everyone (even YOU bunky!) has his or her little quirks. Your partner’s quirks might even appear cute to you, or at least harmless. If they’re getting to you, you should look more closely at your relationship ingeneral.

6. Problems don’t make you think about breaking up.
All relationships have problems. It’s natural and healthy. However, if every time you fight you feel ready to break up, you should re-think your relationship. People that have good, solid relationships see disagreements as a chance to learn more about their lover, and to get closer. Thus, they don’t fear them, but they don’t create them either!

7. You aren’t scared about losing him or her.
Once you start investing your feelings in a relationship you risk being hurt. This isn’t my rule - it’s just the way it is. However, if you dwell on the possibility of being hurt, you can’t really enjoy the relationship. Further, you shouldn’t be concerned that your lover isn’t happy. If the relationship is secure - you’ll know it.

8. You’re together “just because.”
Many people start dating and then coordinate their lives such that they have to be together - either for finances, kids, family, work, the dog, etc. Is there something keeping your relationship together?

If you’re together just because you both want to be, you’ve got a good reason to stay together! If you’re together because you have to be, you’ll likely to start having problems.

9. You appreciate other attractive people, but aren’t interested in them.
There is someone more attractive than your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife. I don’t care whom you’re with! If your relationship is good, you still like the way other people look, but don’t find it necessary to compare them to your partner. After all …

10. You are in love.
If you don’t know that you’re in love, you’re not. Love is very difficult to explain, but one of the best explanations I’ve seen is this:

“Love is when you are more concerned with the well being, safety and happiness of someone else than your own.”

7 Quick Ways to Calm Down

"Anxiety zappers that can rescue you from daily stresses"

I'm easily overwhelmed. When my kids' exuberant screams reach a decibel level my ears can't tolerate, when Chuck E., the life-size "rat" at the pizza place, starts doing his jig while flashing arcade lights blind me, or when I open my email to find 100 messages--I feel a meltdown coming on. Which is why I came up with seven quick ways to calm myself down.

I turn to these when I don't have time to call my mom and hear her tell me, "Everything is going to be fine." They keep me centered and grounded for as long as possible, and they help me relax my body even during those times when screaming kids and dancing life-size rats converge.


Know your triggers. If a conversation about global warming, consumerism, or the trash crisis in the U.S. is overwhelming you, simply excuse yourself. If you're noise-sensitive and the scene at Toys-R-Us makes you want to throw whistling Elmo and his buddies across the store, tell your kids you need a time-out. (Bring along your husband or a friend so you can leave them safely, if need be.) My great-aunt Anna knew her trigger points, and if a conversation or setting was getting close to them, she simply put one foot in front of another, and departed.


Gently let the world disappear, and go within to regain your equilibrium. Ever since my mom came down with blepharospasm (a neurological tick of the eyelid), I've become aware of how important shutting our eyes is to the health of the nervous system. The only treatment available for this disorder is to have surgery that permanently keeps your eyelids open (you need to moisten them with drops, etc.). Such a condition would be living hell for my mom, because in closing her eyes she regains her balance and proper focus.

The only time I recommend not using this technique is on the road (if you're driving).


This can be challenging if you are at work, or at home with kids as creative and energetic as mine. But we all need some private time to let the nervous system regenerate.

I must have known this back in college, because I opted for a tiny single room (a nun's closet, quite literally), rather than going in on a larger room with a closet big enough to store my sweaters. When three of my good friends begged me to go in with them on a killer quad, I told them, "Nope. Can't do it. Need my alone time, or else none of you would want to be around me. Trust me.

"My senior year I went to the extent of pasting black construction paper on the window above my door so no one would know if I was there, in order to get the hours of solitude that I needed.

Be creative. Find your space. Any way you can. Even it involves black construction paper.


This is a true lifesaver for me. I need to be outside for at least an hour every day to get my sanity fix. Granted, I'm extremely lucky to be able to do so as a stay-at-home mom. But I think I would somehow work it into my schedule even if I had to commute into the city every day.

Even if I'm not walking or running or biking or swimming, being outside calms me in a way that hardly anything else can. With an hour of nature, I go from being a bossy, opinionated, angry, cynical, uptight person into a bossy, opinionated, cynical, relaxed person. And that makes the difference between having friends and a husband to have dinner with and a world that tells me to go eat a frozen dinner by myself because they don't want to catch whatever grumpy bug I have.


While watching Disney's "Pocahontas" the other day with my daughter Katherine (yes, I do get some of my best insights from cartoons), I observed the sheer joy the main character shows upon paddling down the river, singing about how she is one with the water. It reminded me of how universal the mood effects of water are, and how healing.On the rainy or snowy days that I can't walk the double stroller over to our local creeks, I do something the global-warming guys say not to; take a long shower, imagining that I am in the middle of a beautiful Hawaiian rain forest."Water helps in many ways," writes Elaine Aron. "When overaroused, keep drinking it--a big glass of it once an hour. Walk beside some water, look at it, listen to it. Get into some if you can, for a bath or a swim. Hot tubs and hot springs are popular for good reasons."


Breathing is the foundation of sanity, because it is the way we provide our brain and every other vital organ in our body with the oxygen needed for us to survive. Breathing also eliminates toxins from our systems. Years ago, I learned the "Four Square" method of breathing to reduce anxiety:

1. Breathe in slowly to a count of four.

2. Hold the breath for a count of four.

3. Exhale slowly through pursed lips to a count of four.

4. Rest for a count of four (without taking any breaths).

5. Take two normal breaths.6. Start over again with number one.


Across the ages, music has been used to soothe and relax. During the worst months of my depression, I blared the soundtrack of "The Phantom of the Opera." Pretending to be the phantom with a cape and a mask, I twirled around our living room, swinging my kids in my arms. I belted out every word of "The Music of the Night." "Softly, deftly, music shall caress you, Feel it, hear it, secretly possess you...."The gorgeous song--like all good music--could stroke that tender place within me that words couldn't get to.

5 Steps to Lower Blood Pressure

Every day, millions of Americans quietly battle a silent killer. High blood pressure is an elevation in the force of blood pushing against the walls of the arteries. It affects one out of every three Americans, according to the American Heart Association (AHA).

High blood pressure is considered a major risk factor for heart attack, heart failure and stroke. Untreated high blood pressure can cause the heart to eventually overwork itself to the point at which serious damage can occur.

High blood pressure can also cause injury to other areas served by delicate arteries that are damaged by the increased pressure. These include the brain, the eyes (retinopathy) and/or the kidneys (nephropathy).

In most cases, there is no cure for high blood pressure. Medication can control high blood pressure, but there are several lifestyle changes you can make to keep your blood pressure lower.

What You Can Do

There are several things you can do to lower your blood pressure. The top five are:

*Eat a healthful diet.

Studies have shown that people on the American Heart Association's Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension diet, or "DASH" diet, for only eight weeks experienced a significant reduction in blood pressure. The DASH diet emphasizes fruits, vegetables, whole grains and low-fat dairy while limiting saturated fat and red meat.

Excessive sodium intake also has been linked to an increased risk of high blood pressure. Limiting salt intake to 2,000 milligrams per day may help keep blood pressure low. A diet of 1,500 milligrams or less salt is especially effective at controlling blood pressure, according to the National Institutes of Health. Sodium is found in many foods, so keep an eye on the ingredients list to help rein in your sodium intake. In addition, avoid adding table salt to foods.

*Avoid smoking and excessive drinking.

The nicotine found in tobacco products constricts blood vessels, causing your hear to beat faster and raising blood pressure for a period of time. Smoking also damages blood vessel walls and hardens the arteries, which both increase the risk of high blood pressure.

Alcohol consumption has a significant impact on blood pressure in some people. Limit alcohol use to one drink per day for women and two drinks per day for men. One drink is defined as one 6-ounce glass of wine per day, one 12-ounce beer or one 1-ounce shot of distilled spirits.

*Get regular exercise.

Exercise three to four times per week helps regulate high blood pressure, keeping in mind that the regularity of the exercise is more important than the intensity of the workout. Individuals should consult their physician before starting an exercise program.To be effective, the exercise must be aerobic, meaning it must move large muscle groups and cause you to both breathe more deeply and to push your heart to work harder to pump blood.

However, your activity level does not need to be especially intense. For example, studies have shown that tai chi (an ancient Chinese workout involving slow, relaxing movements) may lower blood pressure almost as well as moderately intense aerobics.

*Lose weight.

Shedding pounds, especially in the abdominal area, can immediately lower blood pressure and help reduce the size of the heart. A loss of just 10 pounds can make a significant difference. In many people, a simple combination of weight loss and salt restriction eliminates the need for taking blood-pressure medication.

*Try to relax.

Emotional factors may play important roles in the development of high blood pressure. Studies have linked numerous activities to reducing blood pressure. These include cognitive-behavioral therapy, transcendental meditation, active religious faith and participation in activities related to a faith community. Other research has linked owning a pet with lower overall blood pressure. Relaxation techniques typically work best when they are employed at least once a day.

High Blood Pressure: Fast Facts

*Until age 55, more men than women have high blood pressure, but the numbers begin to even out until, beyond age 74, significantly more women than men have high blood pressure.

*Untreated, high blood pressure will cause the heart to overwork itself to the point where, eventually, serious damage can occur.

*High blood pressure is present in about half of people having first-time heart attacks and two-thirds of those having first-time strokes.

*More than 50 million people in the United States over age six (and one in four adults) have high blood pressure.

*Forty-five million Americans (22 percent of adults) have prehypertension, blood pressure that is on the borderline between normal and elevated.

*Nearly a third (30 percent) of people with high blood pressure don't know they have it. Another 36 percent either aren't on medication or don't have their blood pressure adequately controlled.

*The majority of people with mild to moderate high blood pressure do not have any noticeable
One in three cases of heart failure in women results from high blood pressure.

*Blood pressure tends to get higher as women age. More than half of women over age 50 suffer from high blood pressure.

*High blood pressure is two to three times more common in women taking birth control pills than those not taking them. The risk is especially high in women who take the Pill and are overweight or obese.

*Women who have had a heart attack are less likely to experience a second one if they lower their blood pressure.

*During pregnancy, some women may develop high blood pressure even if they have never had the condition before. This gestational hypertension has been shown to increase the risk of high blood pressure and stroke later on in life. Some women who already have high blood pressure may see it worsen during pregnancy. Also, preeclampsia, a condition related to high blood pressure and the presence of protein in a pregnant woman's urine, is the second leading cause of maternal death in the United States.

*Sexual dysfunction in women may be linked to high blood pressure. Female patients are encouraged to discuss any sexual difficulties with their physicians.

*The prevalence of high blood pressure among African-Americans is the highest in the world. Black women are especially prone to high blood pressure. They have an 85 percent higher rate of medical care visits for high blood pressure than white women.

What is love?

"Love is a funny thing". You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect him to always say the right thing, and always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it. You expect him to calm you down when you're yelling or to chase you when you run away. You expect so much that you feel entirely and utterly defeated when something doesn't exactly match up with all your plans. But that's the thing, love isn't a plan. It doesn't have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it.

"Love happens; and it is so incredibly messy". People around you can't comprehend why you do the things you do, or why you fight so hard for something that seems to cause you so much pain, because simply, they can't see. They can't see the invisible ring of insanity that surrounds you when you're in love. It's inconvenient and painful and devastating at times, but we can't live without it. We can't breathe the same way or function quite right without it. See, that's the thing about love. You hold it up to all these images you've learned to attach to the word 'love' since you were little.

"We learn so many things about love before we are even capable of falling". Don't rush in, keep steady, prince charming will fix everything. What you don't learn is how hard love is. How much work it takes. How much of ourselves we have to put into it. How it isn't worth it until we are complete and utter idiots about it. Don't rush in? I practically dove with my eyes closed; fully aware that I had drowned before. "Love is a battlefield", never really made sense because it is contrary to everything we have been taught to believe how 'love' is supposed to be. But it is so entirely different. Love isn't him calming you down when you yell. It's him yelling, just as loud, just as hard, right back at you, and right in your face to wake you up and to keep you grounded. It isn't him bringing you roses everyday or pretty things that make your relationship appear more presentable. It's after a long fight, that drains the life and bones right out of you both, and yet him showing up at your door the next morning anyway. It's not him saying all the right things or knowing exactly how to handle you.

"We are human beings". We don't handle one another, and we can't be handled. We are mutable creatures that need something different everyday. Need something more or less to keep us going, to keep us believing that it's not all for nothing. So no, it's not him caressing your hair and telling you everything is going to be all right. It's him standing there, admitting he's just as scared as you are. You have to remember that with love, you're not the only one involved.
You've unknowingly put your life, your heart into the palms of another persons hands and said, here, do what you will. Mash it into mince meat, or forget I ever handed it to you. As long as you have it, that's the thing about love.

"It makes us crazy". It makes reality invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn't cross. Because love isn't about fencing ourselves in; feeling safe, feeling sure about the future. It's about scaring the life out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway. Because all the fighting, the tears, and uncertainty is worth it. And it's a hell of a lot better, than being one hundred percent happy without someone to show us that there is a world of a difference between feeling 'happy' and feeling whole.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The signs of love

1. Known how to make you smile when you are down.

2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.

3. Stick up for you, but still respect your independence.

4. Give you the remote control during the game.

5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.

6. Play with your hair.
7. His hand would always find your hand.

8. Be cute when he really wants something.

9. Offer you plenty of massages.

10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.

11. Never run out of love.

12. Be funny, but know when to be serious.

13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious.

14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.

15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.

16. Smiles a lot.

17. Plans a romantic date full of things he wouldn't normally do because he knows it means a lot to you.

18. Appreciate you.

19. Help others out.

20. Drive five hours just to see you for one.

21. Always gives you a kiss when you leave, even when his friend are watching.

22. Sing, even if he can't.

23. Have a creative sense of humor.

24. Stare at you.

25. Call for no reason

26. You'll read his/her msn screen name over and over again...27. You'll walk really really slow while you're with him/her..

28. You'll feel shy whenever you're with him/her...

29. While thinking bout him/her...your heart will beat faster and faster...

30. By listening to his/her'll smile for no reason.

31. While looking at him/ cant see the other people around can only see that person...

32. You'll start listening to SLOW songs.

33. He/She becomes all you think about.

34. You'll get high just by their smell...

35. You'll realize that you're always smiling to yourself when you think about them..

36. You'll do anything for him/her...

37. While reading this, there was one person on your mind the whole time.

How to Keep Out Insectsor Pests

Here are non-toxic ways to keep out insects from your home:

Ants - sprinkle red chili powder,borax, or died peppermint where you see them coming in. Plant mint by the backand front doors of your house to help keep them out.

Cockroaches - mix equal parts of bakingsoda and powdered sugar, and spread it around the infested area. They can alsobe controlled with common boric acid powder sprinkled around baseboards, undersinks, etc. Do not use in places accessible to children and pets. Garlic isanother natural pest-repellent; you can grow it in your garden to keep harmfulbugs away or mix it in your blender with a mild soapy liquid and use as aspray.

Fleas - feed your pets nutritional orbrewer's yeast. The vitamin B supposedly makes them immune. Dips and sprayscontaining delimonine gas derived from citrus extracts safely repel fleas andother pests, as do spray reprellents from cedar wood, eucalyptus and bayleaves.

Flies - Hang clusters of cloves inyour rooms. Leave crushed orange or lemon skins in strategic places; the citrusoil repels flies and other insects.

Mosquitoes - burn oil of citronella rings.Grow garlic, marigolds, and nay flowers that attract birds who eat mosquitoes.Spray with pyrethrin. Don't use electronic zappers; they attract and killbeneficial insects but not mosquitoes.

Rats - the best is still the cat.Don't leave food in the open. Stuff up their entry holes with steel wool. Usemechanical traps, but beware of poisoned bait. One of the most effectivenontoxic safeguards against rats is still the cat.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

"He will blessed for all those who seek,He will lead for those who follow bec. no one is Greater than God"

A window and pour out blessings that we won't have room to receivethem. I dare anyone to try God. He is true to His word. God cannot lieand His promises are sure. Three things will happen to you this coming week:

(1) You will find favour with someone you don't expect;
(2) You will be too relevant to be ignored;
(3) You will encounter God and you will never remain the same again.

My prayer for you today:

The eyes beholding this message shall not behold evil, the hands thatwill send this message to others shall not labor in vain, the mouth saying Amen to this prayer shall laugh forever. Remain in God's loves you send this prayer to everybody on your list. Have a lovely journey of life! Trust in the Lord with all your heart and He will never fail you because He is AWESOME !

If you truly need a blessing, continue reading this email: Heavenly Father, most Gracious and Loving God, I pray to you that you a bundantly bless my family and me. I know that you recognize, that a family is more than just a mother, father, sister, brother, husband and wife, but all who believe and trust in you.

Father, I send up a prayerrequest for blessings for not only the person who sent this to me, butfor me and all that I have forwarded this message on to. And that the power of joined prayer by those who believe and trust in you is more powerful than anything.

I thank you in advance for your blessings. Father God, deliver the person reading this right now from debt and debt's burdens. Release your Godly wisdom that I may be a good stewardover all that You have given me.

Father, for I know how wonderful and mighty you are and how if we just obey you and walk In your word andhave the faith of a mustard seed that you will pour out blessings. I thank you now Lord for the recent blessings I have received and for the blessings yet to come because I know you are not done with me yet. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen .

"In the end, what matters is not so much what you bought, but what you built; not so much what you got, but what you shared; not so much your success but your significance; not so much your competence, but your character; not so much what you said, but what you did."

Friday, February 22, 2008

Face your fears,have courage...fear is only in the mind

"Everyone Has Their Own Fears... Not Just You "

To be a burden to anyoneI'm not sure if it's because I don't have the guts to put anyone in any kind of discomfort or that I am just too stubborn to depend on anyone. Either way, I don't want to…

To lose someone that I loveI know a lot of people share this sentiment but it makes me think sometimes, are we really afraid to lose these people or are we just afraid of the pain we are going to go through? Either way, I don't want to…

To die youngI am too selfish because I still want to experience and see so much or I know that I still have a lot of things to do for everyone, especially to those I owe my life to.

Either way, I don't want to…

To be helpless and useless(This doesn't go vis-à-vis with number 1. To be put in a situation where I can't help or be of any use to anyone not because of physical inability but due to circumstances that are beyond my control. ) Or because of the lack of self-respect it will cause me or because of the effect it will have on the people around me.

Either way, I don't want to be…

To end up either in a hospital or prisonAfraid of everything that I would have to go through in such a place or afraid because of the pain it will bring to those dear to me.

Either way, I don't want to…

To grow old aloneWhy? Because it is surely going to be bloody lonely or it's just because it's too damn boring to go to bed at night, wake up in the morning, do your stuff all by yourself.

Either way, I don't want to…

RegretI'm afraid of being in a situation thinking, "if only…" Maybe it's because I don't want to miss out on anything or maybe it's because I just don't have the courage to say no.

Either way, I don't want to…
To be fooled… yet againEither because I don't want to subject my heart and my soul to such kind of pain or I'm just afraid to lose my ability to trust.

Either way, I don't want to be…

Snakes, sharks and crocodiles.Just because I've seen too many movies and documentaries, read a lot of news about these creatures eating people like a piece of steak or just because they look pretty horrible to me.

Either way, I don't like them…

The Ocean Because its too vast, too mysterious and I know its beauty kills or because I freak out the moment my feet can't touch the ground due to the fact that I can't swim. Either way, I'm afraid of it…I am afraid of many things. I am afraid because these things are way beyond my control. I believe that there are aspects in my life that I can't do anything about. But for now, I only concentrate on things that I can do something about and leave the things that I can't to SOMEONE who can.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

You Can Be Rich & Happy: Now

I often hear people say things like:

"Oh, you can't be rich and happy", or "I'm happy but I'm not rich", or "if I had money I'd be happy". Some of the people who claim to be happy obviously forget to tell their face that they are happy because they certainly don't give the impression of being happy.

So what's the secret?

Is it really possible to be rich and happy or is that state truly unattainable?

I think it's a very important issue because the world is going through a period of increasing tension and conflict. Poverty and starvation are on the increase while at the same time some people's wealth is increasing dramatically. Individuals are finding it harder and harder to get ahead while the profits of major corporations are increasing from year to year.

So many ordinary people are anxious, worried and depressed in their daily lives and many are heavily in debt with very little prospect of getting off that treadmill. For an increasing number of people winning lotto is their only strategy for achieving financial independence.

Some decide it's all too hard and go for the social security safety net while others drop out altogether and live on the streets. Drugs, prostitution and crime continue to rise while our politicians tell us that we are living in a state of economic bliss and that things have never been better.

The fundamental cause of many of our challenges seems to be a lack of self-esteem and an absence of a sense of purpose. Throughout my books I speak about these issues and seek to provide strategies for improvement in these areas.

Let's deal firstly with finding a purpose for our lives.This is probably one of the most challenging issues we have to deal with and it is also something that we have to find out for ourselves. No one else can do it for us.If that isn't enough, another challenge is that our purpose may change as we go through life and as we come into contact with other people and new information.

Purpose is different from goals.
Purpose is much bigger than any goal.
Purpose is ongoing and is not like a goalpost or destination that you seek to reach.
Purpose has nothing to with accumulating a fortune or building an empire.
Purpose is a guiding light for your life. It's your beacon through fine weather and through the storms.
Purpose is a direction.
It is an ongoing reason for you to do what you do with your life. It is what adds passion to your life.
Purpose is what makes you get out of bed in the morning and want to have another wonderful day. It's the juice that powers the direction of your life.
Purpose keeps you on track in the face of adversity and challenges.

Some people uncover their purpose in life through meditation, while others do it through exercises. Some people know what they are truly passionate about and follow that passion to give them purpose. Some know their purpose early in life while others take longer to find it. Far too many people struggle through life on a treadmill without having really lived their life with passion and die with most of their dreams unfulfilled. These to me are the saddest people.Here's what I wrote in Financial

Freedom . . . starting now! –

An Action Guide:"I believe that we all have a purpose, even though sometimes we may not be aware of it. Sometimes our purpose is buried under a pile of doubts, fears, a history of failures and rejections and we need to do a little work to uncover it. When you realise what your purpose is and live it, you will experience happiness that is more powerful than the temporary buzz that you get with the achievement of a goal.Purpose does not have to be spiritual, or specific.

My individual purpose is very specific, to live and teach the principles of true wealth. Some people prefer a broader purpose such as helping others or the environment. We don't all have to be Mother Theresa.

Each of us can do good in our everyday lives.It is worth taking the time to get to know your purpose because following this purpose is your source of true happiness. Often, you will come across your purpose simply by being the person that you want to be. The personality traits that most typify you, the things that you love to do, the gifts that you have, even the material possessions that you desire are very closely linked to your purpose."In my book I provide a number of exercises to help in uncovering one's purpose.

One idea is to ask yourself what you would do with your life if you knew you were going to die in exactly two years time. Then ask yourself why you aren't doing that now. At first you may come up with all sorts of excuses, however I suggest you keep digging deeper by considering the possibilities in search of a way. Rather than saying to yourself: "I can't do that" ask yourself "How can I do that?" The process may take some time and that's OK. Please don't beat yourself up over it. Just give it time and keep asking how you can do what it is you want.

A higher force will reveal it to you.Here's what the Indian philosopher, Patanjali wrote about purpose.Purpose"When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all of your thoughts break their bonds: your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world.

Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive and you discover yourself to be a greater person than you ever dreamed yourself to be."Now let's look at the issue of self-esteem.

How To Be Rich & Happy On Your Income:

"We find true happiness when we follow our purpose. You cannot live your purpose without healthy self-esteem. Self-esteem is just another way of saying that you value yourself. In my opinion, lack of self-esteem is at the core of all society's problems. If everyone valued themselves highly enough and knew they could have what they wanted, they would not have to sell their bodies or resort to gambling, drugs or crime.

Poverty is a mental disease that stems from low self-esteem. Like many diseases, it is curable for those who believe it can be. As with any illness, it takes effort, initiative and courage to beat it - and if you give up, you're in trouble!"The good news is that nearly all happy and prosperous people have conquered this debilitating mental disease at some time in their lives. Most people have had cash shortages in their lives and some have been broke. Even if you have lost everything, you still have the knowledge and beliefs that helped you to achieve what you had before you lost it.

That does not mean that you are poor. Being poor is a state of mind which has nothing to do with how much money you have. Some of the richest people are very unhappy and are very poor in their beliefs, their attitudes and their behaviours.

On the other hand some people with very little money are some of the richest people in the world. It really just depends on your attitude.If you want to be richer and happier, you may want to know more about these two books which will unlock for you the keys to achieving true wealth.

You see, anyone in my opinion, regardless of their occupation or upbringing can accumulate more money than they would ever need. All you need is the desire, the right attitude and a plan to achieve your goals. Once you have these essential elements you need to take action to achieve your plan.

These two books will show you how!These books are written in a non-technical fashion and are easy to understand. They are not textbooks on high finance or complex economics but rather easily readable, down to earth collections of ideas, experiences and exercises designed to inspire and motivate you to take control of your finances and to examine your attitudes to life and money.

They are easy to read for teenagers too and contain many important ideas for them as they generate an income. Sadly, our young people are not taught money skills at school and usually start their working life from a position of indebtedness because they are taught to buy on credit rather than how to earn and manage their money before they go into debt.Worries over money affect the health and beliefs of many people.

These books can help them to change their beliefs and attitudes around money.The principles discussed in these books apply throughout the world and this is the reason they have become best-selling books and have been bought by people in more than 22 countries.How To Be Rich &

Happy On Your Income is packed with wealth tips – both practical and esoteric. What sets this book apart is its clear, concise and concentrated money management strategies including:

How to get beyond survival mode

How to manage and save your money

How to develop a spending plan without depriving yourself

How to use your credit cards wisely

How to minimise taxation

How to increase your wealth through leverage, stockmarket investment and by investing in real estate You will easily and quickly learn how to develop a wealthy mindset, instill prosperous attitudes and find practical know how on creating wealth.

You will discover how to save money and how to turn those savings into wealth, consistently and without high risks.

Peppered throughout the book’s margins are nitty gritty how-to tips and inspirational homilies from sources as diverse as Donald Trump, Kerry Packer, Rene Rivkin, Albert Einstein and Albert Camus (who said: "It is a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.")

Teaching children about money

A chapter on teaching and modeling good money management skills to children highlights the importance of fostering in them a spirit of independence and respect for money, and more importantly the need to teach them to value themselves, to dream and to develop an abundance mentality.

Why men delay marriage..............

....................... And what you can do to guide your man to happily commit to you.

It’s true, today more than ever men are in no hurry to commit to long term relationships with women. And while some women continue to seek ways to get men to commit to them, others are simply fed up and are no longer trying. These women have taken the stand, “it’s a man’s issue, let them deal with it, and we as women have to get on with our lives with or without men.”

Many women are convinced it’s just a man’s thing to experiment with different sexual partners until well into their thirties before settling down in a committed relationship; but it’s more complicated than that. And if women were to pay close attention to what men say and do, they may understand how wrong some of their assumptions about men are. For example, although men like to sow their wild oats, they soon grow tired and long to settle down with a single partner.

In 2002 a Psychological Studies report put out by the University of Southern California showed 99% of college men and women said they wanted to have a committed relationship in the future. Most of the men however said they would like to put off commitment typically for a period of five years. This variation from tradition is typical among young men of all walks of life today. In times past men began to consider marriage soon after graduating from college, trade schools or apprenticeships and were gainfully employed.

So what social change has brought about this new behavior in men?

Why are men not anxious to rush out and find the woman of their dreams so they can get married and settle down? The short answer is because they don’t have to. When asked, men gave several reasons why they were not ready for a committed relationship. But I believe there are four factors which significantly influence modern men’s attitude toward commitment.

1.Men face little social pressure to get married because unlike in times past it is a lot easier for a man to get sex without having to say I do. Women can no longer effectively entice men with the promise of sex as an incentive for men to commit to them.

Why: Simply because men can get sex (the number one reason why men married in the past) from a number of readily available sources, in many cases with no strings attached.

2.Men dread the possible consequences in the likely event the relationship does not work out. The emotional suffering caused by a break up could be devastating to men, but they express more concern for the risk of financial losses they may suffer if and when confronted with divorce proceedings.

3.It is men’s nature to delay anything that can cause drastic changes to their lives. And although men have always been aware of the changes that marriage brings, they accepted them as part of the territory; “when a man marries his troubles begin.”

But whether or not today’s men are aware of this old saying, one thing is certain. They are not ready to be plucked from their comfort zones and thrown into a life of responsibility, compromise and sacrifice. And by their own admissions this is the life they believe awaits them whenever they decide to take what they consider the final plunge.

4.Before they take that final plunge however they want to be sure they are making the best possible choice. As one man puts it “Imagine how I would feel if someone better comes along and I’m already in a committed relationship?”

How to get your man to happily commit to you

Knowing what a man wants and being aware of his apprehensions about commitment is the first step toward understanding what it takes to give a man what he wants from a relationship with you. When given a choice most people do what they want and what they believe is in their best interest.

A man will not commit to a relationship unless he is convinced he will get what he wants now, with reasonable expectations he will continue to do so in the future. Fortunately for women what men want includes a love interest, trust, emotional support and commitment, some of the same things women want.

So finding the way to a man’s heart might be easier than you think. A word of caution though; this does not relate to women who are fully aware that their chances of getting their man to commit are slim to none, such as:

1. Women who remained too long in relationships with men who do not have and never had any intentions to commit to them.
2. Relationships of convenience where the woman feels trapped, but is afraid to bring up the subject of commitment for fear of loosing the man forever.
3. The woman who gets the feeling the man is ready to commit possibly with someone else, but not to her.

These suggestions refer to relationships where men want to commit but are genuinely fearful. Pay little attention to the previously well-publicized strategies that promise to motivate your man to commit to you; they do not work and men are weary of them.

Anyway, if you have to coerce a man to commit to you, you are definitely with the wrong man. A man would not commit to a relationship unless he is ready. And sometimes the way he perceives you can give him that little psychological push he may need to help him to make up his mind.

Nine ways to win your man’s heart so he will want to commit to you

1.Be reasonably certain he is the kind of man with whom you would like to spend the rest of your life. The thought of commitment should not enter your mind unless you are convinced he is the one for you. You have to know him well enough to determine: He is able to commit; He possesses many of the qualities you’ve always looked for in a man; you can’t help but to respect and admire him; He has already passed your test for honesty, integrity and consideration for others, and you must be reasonably certain he is falling in love with you.

2.Always be who you are. And don’t be afraid to express yourself the way you’re accustomed to.This is probably the most important quality men look for in a woman. Ninety-nine percent of men in numerous surveys said so, and women whose character changed after marriage ranked number one on the list of causes for marriage break ups. Resist the urge to try to make a man feel important by conforming and not voicing your true opinions or laughing at his jokes when they are not funny. If for no other reason, consider the possibility he may be testing you

3.Show him you’re independent.Men are weary of women who sit back and wait for their men to fill every aspect of their lives. Let him know although you welcome his input in many ways, you are perfectly capable of doing things without him; in fact sometimes you prefer to do things on your own. For example you may want to see a certain movie, but he’s too busy to go with you. Instead of sulking, cheerfully tell him you’ll go by yourself, and do it.

Until he commits to you, do not make major changes in your life with a view of accommodating him. If you had plans to purchase your new condominium go ahead as if he was not in the picture. It may seem wise to hold off on your plans pending a commitment from him. Don’t, he may get the impression you’re not as independent as he thought. If you mention your plans to him do so only for the purpose of information and not as a means of forcing him to make a decision to commit to you. The purpose here is to genuinely show him that your life goes on with or without him.

4.Show him you are a kind and loving person.As surprising as it may seem, a man needs someone who loves him and whom he could love in return. This may seem obvious to many, but the more women are becoming empowered by their independence the more intolerant they are becoming with men who are slow to adapt. Men see these women as insensitive and most likely incapable of love. So in her own way a woman needs to show a man that although she is capable of going it alone, she has a burning desire to share love with the man in her life.

5.Show him you’re interested in him for who he is and not what he can do for you.I’ve asked men what would be the one thing they would like to know most about a woman before they marry her. Overwhelmingly men said “to be certain that the woman loved them for themselves and not as a means to an end. This is understandable.

No man likes to feel that a woman chose him because he is a good provider, a model citizen or a potentially good father; all of these things are also important to men. But a man is happier when he knows that his woman chooses him because he is her best friend; someone she would want by her side no matter what his situation may be.

So how do you let him know you want him primarily for the person he is?Show interest in his life, his likes and dislikes and his values. Talk about his career, but pay more attention of how personally rewarding it is for him instead of how economically lucrative it may be. Tell him what attracted you to him in the first place, e.g. “There was something about the way you smile”

6.Do not play games to get him to pursue you.Men are fully aware of the games some women play to get their attention. They may even be intrigued by the challenge and do whatever it takes to win you but may never commit to you.

Flirting with other guys to make him jealous or manipulating him so that he chases after you may seem to work for a while. But how could he trust you if he thinks you’re a manipulator. Even if he is fascinated by you, a man would be afraid to commit to a woman if he has the slightest doubt about her trustworthiness.

7.Let him know you have no intention of changing him.If a man feels committing to a woman will drastically change his lifestyle he will aggressively resist commitment even when he thinks he loves her. You don’t have to fit in every part of his life so even if there are some areas of incompatibility let him understand that you can compromise.

Let him know you have no objection to him spending a night watching football with his friends instead of being with you. Don’t make him feel that he has to make the best of his time now because his life would change (of course for the better) once you become a couple.

8.Always maintain your femininity with special emphasis on physical appearance.Men like women who can fit in with their friends; women who they feel can be almost like one of the boys. So having a great sense of humor, socializing without getting bogged down with too much detail makes you extremely desirable, but be careful; Men also want women who are particular about their femininity which includes being kind, loving, gentle and always conscious of their physical appearance.

So being one of the boys should not be confused with looking like them. And even though it may seem like men are not overly concerned with your looks, never let your guard down. Now we’re not talking catwalk model material here, but we expect you to look as if you’ve taken time with your appearance. This means using clothing that bring out your best qualities, maintain proper posture, (your mother was right) tastefully manicured hands and feet and regular use of mouthwash especially if you smoke or drink beer.

9. Don’t rush or appear to rush the relationship.You may think he is taking too long to make up his mind about you. Relax! This may be a good thing; maybe he wants to be certain he’s making a sound decision. Don’t give him the impression you’re impatient, cheerfully carry on with your normal routine. Don’t suggest he takes you to meet his parents or invite him to meet yours, unless he asks, it’s better to let him make such decisions on his own.

Remember your goal is to provide him with the information he needs to make up his mind and at the same time give him all the space he requires while doing so. And if you believe he’s truly the man for you and followed the suggestions outlined in this article, you would not have to wait very long.

A Dark Chocolate a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

Daily Dark Chocolate Good for the Heart, Loaded With Flavonoids

Here's news that's hard not to like. Eating a small, 1.6-ounce bar of dark chocolate every day is good for you. Very good for you, find Mary Engler, PhD, RN, of the University of California, San Francisco, and colleagues.

Now here is a medical experiment you would love to volunteer for. Engler's team divided 21 healthy adults into two groups. One group got a Dove Dark Chocolate bar every day for two weeks. Like other dark chocolate bars with high-cocoa content, this one is loaded with something called epicatechin. Epicatechin is a particularly active member of a group of compounds called plant flavoniods. Flavoniods keep cholesterol from gathering in blood vessels,
reduce the risk of blood clots, and slow down the immune responses that lead to clogged arteries.

The second group that didn't get Dove bars wasn't totally left out. They, too, got dark chocolate bars. But their treats had the flavoniods taken out.

All subjects underwent high-tech evaluation of how well the blood vessels dilate and relax -- an indictor of healthy blood vessel function. Blood vessel stiffness indicates diseased vessels and possible atherosclerosis. Those who got the full-flavonoid chocolate did significantly better. Why? Blood tests showed that high levels of epicatechin were coursing through their arteries.

"This is the longest clinical trial to date to show improvement in blood vessel function from consuming flavonoid-rich dark chocolate daily over an extended period of time," Engler says in a news release. "It is likely that the elevated blood levels of epicatechin triggered the release of active substances that ... increase blood flow in the artery. Better blood flow is good for your heart."

Why Dark Chocolate Is Different

Not all chocolate is created equal. Dark chocolate contains a lot more cocoa than other forms of chocolate. And standard chocolate manufacturing destroys up to half of the flavoniods. But chocolate companies have now learned to make dark chocolate that keeps up to 95% of its flavoniods.

Sure, this seems like a scam. Can't you get more and better flavoniods from other foods?

Surprisingly, the answer is "not really." Engler says that dark chocolate
"Many people don't realize that chocolate is plant-derived, as are the
fruits and vegetables recommended for a healthy heart," Engler says.

While a little dark chocolate is good, a lot is not better. Chocolate still is loaded with calories. If you're going to eat more chocolate, you'll have to cut back somewhere else. And remember that a balanced diet -- and plenty of exercise -- is still the key to heart health.

Chocolate is one of my favorite weaknesses or treats (depending on how you look at it), and I am not alone. It has long has been heralded as an aphrodisiac and is said to raise the serotonin levels in the body, thereby helping to chase away the blues. Dark chocolate has recently been classified as an antioxidant, meaning that it reduces the free radicals in the body. That is certainly more than a mouthful to say of this gastric delight.

But have you ever wondered how this pleasurable sweet came to be?

Dating back more than 2,000 years ago to the time of the ancient Aztecs and Mayans who occupied what is now Central America, chocolate was cherished even back then. The Mayans were the first to discover that they could make a frothy, slightly bitter, beverage from crushed cacao beans. This beverage was reserved for royalty, priests, and the highest levels of society.

The Aztecs created a warm drink from the beans called chcoclatl, meaning "warm liquid," and they so valued cocoa beans that they used them as currency.

Christopher Columbus was the first to bring cacao beans back from the New World, but it was not until the conquistador, Hernando Cortez, actually tasted chocolatl in 1519 that the pleasures of chocolate were truly experienced by someone from the "civilized" western world. Cortez was the one to add sugar cane to the cocoa to soften the bitter taste. And upon his return to Spain, he re-introduced the modified chocolate beverage to the Spanish court.

The drink was such a hit that it led to the agricultural production of cocoa beans in Jamaica, Ecuador, Venezuela and Peru. Spanish monks were even pressed into service to process the beans, and a new agricultural industry was born. The joys of chocolate spread throughout Europe, and the rest is history! Today chocolate is a highly popular treat for all and is served in numerous forms.

So, the next time you indulge in a chocolaty treat, say a little thank you to the Aztecs and Mayans who discovered the first cacao beans and to Hernando Cortez who made it all possible. You might also want to add a thank you to the scientists who have found all kinds of wonderful benefits to enjoying a chocolate treat.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

"Babies are angels from heaven,nurture them with love"


"Crying as a means of communication" "Crying from hunger" "Crying because of fatigue" "Crying because of indigestation" "Crying because she needs to be burped "
"Crying for apparently no reason at all"

How can I stop my baby from crying

While there are several ways in which parents can cope with crying babies, there is no prescribed formula. None of these methods will work all of the time, some may not work at all. But they are all worth trying. First, try to determine whether there is a basic underlying problem. For instance, if you think the baby is hungry, try the breast or bottle. May be you need to change her nappy, remove or add a layer of clothing or reposition the baby. If none of these is the cause for the baby?s crying, then go through the checklist of what you can do.

If I pick her up every time she cries, will I be spoiling her

Many mothers believe that if you carry your baby every time she cries you will be spoiling her. This may be true for an older baby. (Some experts argue that you should not even think of these discipline issues before the child is 6-7 months old). But for a newborn baby, you should carry her as often as she likes. This is her way of telling you that she wants to feel safe and secure. Do not forget she has spent the past nine months cuddled up in her mother?s womb.

When should the doctor be called

Your baby?s seemingly endless daily screaming sessions are probably perfectly normal. Just to be on the safe side, mention the crying, its duration, intensity, pattern, and particularly any variations from the norm to the doctor. Sudden sustained crying in a baby who has not cried a lot previously, could indicate pain or illness. With advances in medical knowledge, the medical community is finding that certain aspects of crying may provide clues to illness. If a baby?s cry is inexplicably high-pitched, it could indicate illness.


You can start giving solid food to your baby only after he is 4 month old and not before that. Most experts and doctors recommend that you introduce your baby to his first tastes when he is between four and six months old.

It is however important to introduce foods by six months because at about this time a baby's own iron stores may start to become depleted, so he begins to need extra nutrients and calories from food sources other than milk. How Do You Know That Your Baby Is Ready?

Your baby will himself indicate that he is interested in foods and so watch out for his actions and signs that will clearly give a message that he is ready for other foods.

Following are a few tips:

1. Watch out for any interest that he portrays while you are eating and if you place him on your lap when you eat.

2. Is he showing an interest in exploring things with his mouth?

3. Does he seem to be unsatisfied after his usual milk feed; yet resists being put on the breast again, or rejects more formula?If you see any of these signs then you will know that your baby is ready to be introduced to other foods.

Talk to your doctor about this and then you can start giving foods to your baby.If however your baby doesn't seem to be interested to try out anything new and is quite happy with breastfeeding and cries or spits out the food that you try to feed him then you don't need to rush.

Just give your baby some more time and then you can try over again.

When To Feed The Baby?This topic will largely depend on how you will like to feed him and when. There is though no hard and fast rule that you must feed the baby in the morning or at night only.

There is no evidence that feeding the baby at some particular time will help the baby in any way that will be beneficial to him. So you can feed him at any time, which is convenient to you. Therefore the best time will be a time, which fits in with your usual family mealtimes, or the time when you would normally have a snack.

Make eating sociable from the start, so that your baby learns to look forward to meals as a time when he can join in with the rest of the family. Hold him on your lap at first, or sit him in his usual baby seat. This way it will be convenient to you and your baby will also schedule himself to the family mealtime.

How Much To Feed?

At first don't feed him too much. Just give him one or two spoonfuls. He may have problems at first getting food off the spoon therefore in the beginning give him food that will be as liquid as the milk feeds. Place tiny amounts of food in his mouth and at first it will be a bit difficult for him to swallow the food and he might spill out half the food. But very soon he will learn the trick and will start enjoying the food.

What Food To Give Your Baby?

You get very good and nutritious baby food in the market. You can also give steamed or boiled vegetables and fruits mixed with baby food made into a puree or just puree of boiled vegetables and fruits to your baby.

Try out the following vegetable, boil it and make a puree.

Potato Cauliflower
Carrot Sweet potato
Green peas Broccoli

You can give your child the following fruits

Mashed ripe banana
Mashed ripe avocadoBoiled apple
Mashed pear

Whether you are giving him vegetables or fruit always peel the skin and boil it in little water so that the vitamins are preserved. Don't add salt or pepper. Push the cooked food through a sieve or blend in a small blender. This is important because at first your baby wont be able to take solid food and so you have to keep the food more liquid.

Mix the food with some of the cooking water or some breast or formula milk to get a smooth texture. As he gets used

to 'solids' you can gradually make the puree less runny and then mash instead of blending the food.


Babies often suffer from food allergies since parents are not aware what foods are more prone to cause allergies. Normally if you or your husband's family do not have a history of food allergies (basically chocolate, peanut butter, peanuts etc) then it will not be a big problem for your baby.

Children have a 40 to 70 percent chance of developing allergies if both parents have allergies, depending on whether the parents share the same allergy.

The risk drops to about 20 to 30 percent with one allergic parent and to 10 percent if the parents have no allergies. Food allergy is when the immune system responds to a particular food by releasing antibodies, causing allergic symptoms such as a rash, swelling at sudden parts of the body, bloating, wheezing, runny nose.

Thus if your child suffers from food allergy, he's likely to show an obvious reaction soon after eating the offending food and the most important thing that you have to do is to stop giving that food immediately to the baby and avoid it for life.

The most common foods to which your baby might be allergic are:

Wheat, rye, oats and barley Eggs Sesame seedsNuts including peanuts Citrus fruits like oranges and grapefruitCow's milk and cow's milk products Fish and shellfish

Try cutting these out of your diet, one at a time, and see if your baby's health improves. It may take up to ten days for it to clear from his/her system. Avoiding the early introduction of potentially allergenic foods is the basic step in the primary prevention of food allergies in children who are at high risk and therefore it is advisable to clinically test your baby for any food allergies.

If you are concerned about the possibility of allergies try out the following:

1. Breastfeed your baby for as long as possible as this seems to help protect baby's system against some allergies.
2. Avoid introducing solids until your baby is at least four months old.
3. Take extra care to avoid common allergens in your baby's diet.
4. Introduce foods one at a time, with several days between them, so you can more easily identify the food that is causing a reaction.


Asthma is one of the most common disorder affecting children which has to be diagnosed and treated at an early stage. Asthma is a chronic lung disease characterized by tight airways. A child who suffers from Asthma may get an attack of Asthma because of number of reasons namely referred to as "triggers."

Viral infections are the most common triggers in young children. Other triggers include smoke, animal dander, pollens, molds, house dust, mites, fumes and fragrances, or cold air.When a person gets an attack of Asthma his muscles surrounding the airways tighten, narrowing the caliber of the airways.

Second, the airways are narrowed by inflammation and swelling of the airway lining. This leads to the airway narrowing: the accumulation of mucus and other fluids, which can plug the airways. When the child suffers the attack the airways narrow and breathing becomes faster. The symptom of wheezing or coughing may follow. The child might have to work hard to breathe, as evidenced by grunting, flaring of the nostrils, or pulling in of the muscles between the ribs.

Some children with asthma have wheezing with no cough; some have cough with no audible wheezing; and some have both. If a child with asthma has difficulty speaking or sleeping because of wheezing, cough, or shortness of breath, it is important to contact the doctor immediately.

The risk of getting asthma depends both on genetics and on the environment. Asthma tends to run in families (along with eczema and hay fever). It is more common in premature infants and in those who have had RSV bronchiolitis. Those who are obese are at much higher risk.Asthma can also be prevented in infants if mothers breastfeed their babies.

Exercise and Yoga also helps Asthmatic patients a lot. The other important thing is to treat asthma the right way and treating allergies from the very beginning can be a wonderfully effective way to prevent asthma. If you think that your child is suffering from Asthma then you should contact your doctor right away for proper medication. Asthma can be treated and you can help your child lead a happy life.