Monday, August 31, 2009

Freelance Writing Business

How To How To Start Your Freelance Writing Business

If you'd like to protect your personal assets, appear more legitimate to publishers, and establish an employment history for things like obtaining credit, then you should definitely look into incorporating or establishing a DBA.

Difficulty: Average
Time Required: One month
Here's How:

1.Choices, Choices. Although it might sound complicated, your first step is to choose what kind of business front you want to frame your writing in. Operating without any kind of paperwork at all means that you are doing business as a sole proprietor--a very popular choice among many freelance writers. However, you might want to look into forming an LLC or LLP, which are both simple and somewhat inexpensive (only $50 around my area!), but offer more protection to you. Last, you could go even bigger by choosing a
different kind of corporation.

Recommendation: An LLC will serve most writers' purposes.

2.All that paperwork! Don't be intimidated by the type and amount of paperwork it takes to set up your business. States are beginning to support and encourage small businesses by streamlining this process. For example, my LLC was only 2 pieces of paper and $50. Are you making this harder than it needs to be? You'll never know unless you do the research!

3.Feds! Yes, you now have to deal with the Federal government, but it's easier than you might imagine. You need an EIN for your small business. This is simply a number that's similar to your S.S. number, but you can give it clients in place of your S.S. It's simply the tax ID of your business, and it takes two minutes to obtain one at the
IRS website. You just answer a few quick questions, and then they send you a letter in the mail. How official are you, now?

4.Do the research. This may be an extraneous step-- unless you find something. Your job now is to research your city, county and state regulations to make sure there are no licenses or permits you need to do your job. As a writer, it's a long shot, especially at the state level, where you've (supposedly) already made yourself know through your LLC paperwork (above). However, I have known writers that needed to tell their city about their home office, and obtain an inexpensive permit. Better safe than sorry!

5.Bank on it. With your LLC (or similar) paperwork in hand, it's time to make it official with your bank. Establishing a separate bank account for your company is crucial for future credit purposes. A business bank account in the name of your writing company is your next step, and should take only about 30 minutes of your time.

6.Keep records. You now need to manage your
writing dollars. Whether you choose a simple Excel spreadsheet, or an entire software accounting system doesn't matter. What matters is that you keep your 'money in' and 'money out well-accounted for.

7.Pay Uncle Sam. Ahh, yes, every business needs to share the fruits of its labor with the government. Here's how to make sure you
, and at the right times. (Hint, there's four of them-- not just one!)

8.Consider insurance. Do you have clients coming to your home office? You may need liability or "slip and fall" insurance. Have you ever considered the need for errors and omissions insurance? These are things to consider, now that you're official and all!


Again, don't be intimidated by any of these steps. I've known many writers who want to form an LLC, but are unsure of the process. I personally found it to be much simpler than I imagined, and hope you will, too!

What You Need:

DBA or LLC paperwork/correct agency (see exact link in article) (see exact link in article)
Licenses or permits
Bank account
Good tax preparer or software program
Insurance agent

Sunday, August 30, 2009


sometimes you can not see where the road is leading
it might take a turn that you never dreamed of
but these unexpected detours can be blessings
giving your heart a new song to happily sing
even opening a new door to love

new joys they may bring
finding the dark clouds lining
an adventure you had not thought of
set you to the clouds and soaring
be the air beneath your proverbial wing
offering blessings you never thought of

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Priceless Gifts That Don't Cost A Cent

THE GIFT OF LISTENING But you must REALLY listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening.

THE GIFT OF AFFECTION Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you".

THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life.

THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT A simple and sincere, "You look great in red", "You did a super job" or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.

THE GIFT OF A FAVOR Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.

THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, really it's not that hard to say, Hello or Thank You.

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone, ask yourself 3 things:

Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully.
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone.
Refuse to talk negatively about others; don't gossip and don't listen to gossip.
Have a forgiving view of people. Believe that most people are doing the best they can.
Keep an open mind; discuss, but don't argue. (It is possible to disagree without being disagreeable.)

Forget about counting to 10. Count to 1,000 before doing or saying anything that could make matters worse.

Let your virtues speak for themselves.

If someone criticizes you, see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying; if so, make changes. If there is no truth to the criticism, ignore it and live so that no one will believe the negative remark.

Cultivate your sense of humor; laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Do not seek so much to be consoled, as to console; do not seek so much to be understood, as to understand; do not seek so much to be loved as to love.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Monday, August 17, 2009

Make A Difference


As one that does care, I say to those that are quick to judge,I helped save a life this night. With the knowledge at hand,total respect for all,and malice toward none,I ask-What have YOU done? STEP UP. Make a difference. I have. I will continue to be the person I've always been. Be slow to judge. Quick in your desire to help. The impression you leave will for all time be your imprint. Perfection is impossible. The want and action to be the best for yourself,for others,for "YOU". Make yourself matter.Those that should-can. Those that can-do. Whatever is necessary,for good to survive.~~~~


Life takes unexpected turns in a matter of suprises u with things u'd never thought of seeing, hearing, or puts u in situations u'd never thought of being day ur day ur day ur day ur not (god forrbid)...u may say that life isn't fair (although it is sometimes true)..but God never puts u in situations u can't make it through...

Only he knows why he does things...everything is meant to be..everything happens for a reason..everything has a purpose in life..If u want to make it far in life...keep ur head up, never lose interest in life...have hope, faith and love..forgive and forget the people that have caused u harm..hatred never puts u ahead in takes u many steps u into a world of negative thoughts and feelings...when ur filled with hate it just causes more bad and poor choices...

I've learned to forget but not forgive (yet) the people who have done harm..although the pain is still inside (but never let out) I've learned to suck it up..always have a smile on my face no matter what..i remember going to school telling jokes being funny with people n all...but to hide away problems and pain...i still have problems trying to let it all out...that's the hardest part of all...letting go of every pain that has been hidden deep inside...Are u scared that people might judge you if u tell them?

Change there thoughts about u or maybe walk out on u (even if they have known u for years)?...Do u think ur better off without saying anything...Do u think ur life won't change even if u let it out or Think no one is out there for u to listen?...There is always going to be someone there to listen and help u out on every situation..even if u feel alone or have hit rock everyone close to you..cherish every moment with them..because u never know if it will be the last time seeing them or them seeing u..appreciate life it as if it was ur last........


i'm so weak lady i'm in need,
lost inside the inhaling ,
here you are just a stalling ,
why can't you hear me calling
like being in a raging storm,
waiting on exhaling to come,
tossing and turning all night long
i wake up only to discover ,
my house is still not a home
still still just a dream ,
still alone.

cruel so damn mean reality can be so wrong,
addicted lost in wonder as to where this is coming from
like that ole hoot owl who shares my song ,
only to realize all my desires are all in vain ,
as my reality remains the same ,
stuck in this perceptual addiction,
it's you baby i am missing ,
it's you who has me singing
lost in perpetual unidentified dimensions ,
running rampage in visions of premonitions ,
i am a man lost inside of these intermissions
addicted in loving you all over again
lost inside this imagination,
no way am i just a victim of my run away interventions ,
i don't care who you been with
i want even ask questions,
in love with you so deep
till there can be no hesitation ,
passion filled sweet cravings better known
as you and my addiction ,
what more can i say to even the score,
when all my wants serves to need you more,
than the sun needs the sky,
more than the stars that shines in the blackest night,
addicted like the blind needs sight,
like reasons needs whys,
like four corners needs sides i just want you in my life,
as these words i recite let emotions take flight,
just look me in my eyes
as i take you on a natural high addicted
i see your face in every place i wanna be,
like being in a cage of love i never wanna be free
i savor the karma that is your Ora to taste,
like rain to the desert dry and bar-rand floor
not one precious drop of wetness

Will i let go to waste addicted
call it what you will or may as i think of you night and day,
such as my affliction better known as sweet addiction ,
I'm addicted to your love my mission is to get it,
want be without it no doubt about it got to have it,
addicted i'm so weak lady i'm in need,
lost inside the inhaling ,
here you are just a stalling ,
why can't you hear me calling
Magic walks with me

Magic walks with me through this world
Holding my heart and soul ever so gently
Some say I see miracles around every corner
They’re right I sure do see the mystical shining

Walking beside

Brother departed physically but ever embedded
Sending me a hawk that circles constantly about
Shows me a little girl with knowledge and grace
So far beyond all of our years combined shaming us

Holding hands

Dark Park introduces a child who walks alone
White hair to his scalp and blue tear drop eyes
Playing with the sweet princess unwaveringly
Eating peanut butter instead of pizza but still
Making contact


Questions asked about his protectors location
Go unanswered with a quick smile so familiar
And running feet to climb the slide backwards
No one brings him he just arrives in our circle

Walking alone

 Princess inquires about his weird manifestation
Where do you walk here from is it close by here
Desolation Boulevard doesn’t seem to terrify you
And why are you eating the bread of ducks and fishes

Smiling bright

Remembering a boy who walked the crystalline path
Saving those who were deemed hopeless and unworthy
Inquiring about a need for assistance and Adoration
Answered with a nod and a weirdly familiar tilted smirk
Tomorrow pizza


Magic walks with me through this world
Holding my heart and soul ever so gently
Some say I see miracles around every corner
They’re right I sure do see the mystical shining

Walking beside

Saturday, August 15, 2009

"Dedicated To My Special Indian Friend"

40 Tips For Better Life...

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. Sleep for 7 hours.

4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

5. Play more games.

6. Read more books than you did the previous year.

7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily
fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink plenty of water.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.

14. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past.
That will ruin your present happiness.

15. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control.

16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the
curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

18. Smile and laugh more.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.

20. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

23. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don’t compare your partner with others.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Forgive everyone for everything.

26. What other people think of you is none of your business.

27. GOD heals everything.

28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

29. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

30. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

31. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

32. The best is yet to come.

33. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

34. Do the right thing!

35. Call your family often.

36. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.

37. Each day give something good to others.

38. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.

39. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.

40. Don’t be more calculative in your life for all things.

Friday, August 14, 2009


"Possessions, they don't mean that much It rains and they just turn to rust
and we all, we all turn to dust
In the end, in the end

All the stars above don't mean a thing
And I don't care about fortune and fame
All the gold can stay lost
In the bottom of the deep blue sea
It don't matter much to me
I just wanna be happy

Hey. Lets be honest
Love's the only dream
That we all want, that everybody needs
Life's a train, it don't turn back
It's how you love, not what you have
In the end, oh in the end

All the stars above don't mean a thing
And I don't care about fortune and fame
All the gold can stay lost
In the bottom of the deep blue sea
It don't matter much to me
I just wanna be happy

And the sun's gonna come up
And the sky's gonna look down
And we're all gonna keep
Spinnin' round and round

All the stars above don't mean a thing
And I don't care about fortune and fame
All the gold can stay lost
In the bottom of the deep blue sea
It don't matter much to me
I just wanna be happy

"Feeling's for your ex!"

Your ex still on your mind?

Are you still in love?Should you tell them?Did they move on?

These are some of the main questions after a break-up that Ive had to ask myself a lot. Im sure a lot of you out there have the same questions that you wish someone could just answer for you,but as we all know it doesn't work like I know! When you split up with someone you have been in a long lasting relationship with, it can be very difficult to stop some of the feelings that you have for him or her still. Sometimes even though you know that the split is for the best, your mind might still continue to wonder and think about your ex. There is no easy or magic formula for getting him or her out of your mind. However, there are a few steps listed next that may or may not help.

1.Think Back!!!

-Think of all of the things that made you split. When your mind goes down memory lane...make sure that it also travels the rocky and bumpy road that caused the break up. Then remember all of the reasons that made you decide to part ways to begin with. Another thing put away things that remind you of him or her. Things he or she gave you (especially pictures of them or the both of you).

2.Your freeeee!!! Like free Willy!!!! :)

-Enjoy your newly found "freedom". There are many previously forbidden things that you can do now that he/she won't be around to tell you not to do them. Indulge in as much football watching, beer drinking and pool playing that your heart desires, because you are now free to do them without repercussions and girls do as much flirting, partying, hanging out with who ever, and so much more as well.

3. Stay Away!!!!!

(I mean it)-Find different places to hang out. Try to stay away from places that you went together, bcuz if'll be sitting there like "DAMN!" Any mutual friends should also be off limits just for now though. (Not a permanent thing) You should still go out with your friends and have fun!!! Even if you may not think that you feel up to going out, seriously go ahead and make your absolute "best" effort to have a good time. Listen to me! I'm not lying!

4. Get yourself together!!!

-Repair your damaged ego. Your ego may have just taken a heavy blow if you were not the one that wanted the break up. Start slowly in getting yourself back into dating shape again by doing some fun activities like taking dance lessons or get a membership at the gym. This will let you get back into physical shape, build your ego and you could possibly meet new people in the process.


-Think about the positive things to come. If your ex did things or had faults that made life difficult for you, just imaging the positive things that will be in your life without the mental stress that he/she had once created for you. Once you can get out of the limbo state of wanting him or her back, you can finally get some closure and peace of mind to move on in peace.

Are you making these mistakes?

Calling your partner constantly after the break up.
Saying “I Love you” over and over and how much you can’t live without them.
Trying to convince them that you’ll change and everything will be different this time.
Begging and crying, acting out of desperation in the hopes that they will feel “sorry” for you and take you back.

Trying to use reason and logic to get them to come back.

Resorting to arguing, blaming and guilt trips when all else hasn’t worked.
Doing absolutely nothing because you’re afraid to make things worse!
If your doing any of those things make sure you are to try and stop yourself. Your not helping the situation at hand any easier on know the saying if you set it free and it comes back, it was always yours and if it doesn't it just wasn't meant to be. Its pretty much like that. Which isn't always such a "BAD" thing! And that's something that some ppl need to realize.Okay, now this part is for those out there that are searching for guidance when it comes to confronting their ex about their feelings. If your ex happens to already be moved on and in a new healthy happy relationship...plz do not tell him/her. The reason I say this is bcuz you might ruin something he/she is sharing with someone. Telling him or her you love them will be selfish and could cause problems between you too. Rly think about some things:"Do you think you would feel the same about him/her if she didn't have a new significant other?"Maybe, just maybe you really do still love him/her...but maybe you are just in love with the "idea" of her.Don't sit there and tell your ex you still love them or that you want them back if they already have a strong,happy,healthy relationship...that could start problems between the both of you or between ur ex's previous relationship! "Why would you want to come between that?"............................................................................................

If you rly love your ex, you will be strong enough to let him/her be with the person that makes them happy. You will sit there and just be happy that they found happiness! :)Here's another situtation: Ex is single still!I feel that if your ex is still single and isn't kind of seeing someone already, then you should go straight ahead and tell them how you feel. I believe in fighting for what you love. I mean thats what I did. Im not gunna sit here and lie to you saying I won him back, bcuz I didn't...don't get me wrong I fought long and hard. I put up a pretty good fight if you ask me, but not everything can go back to the way it was.

And that's when we need to face the facts that its over. I did and now look at still HAPPY! I mean me and my ex still to this day talk and have a very healthy relationship. We still are in love, but we don't let that interfere with our lives and friendship. We just came to terms that we were better off friends. If we can do it so can you!!!"From all that though I learned that no matter what he will always have a place in my life and heart. I will carry him with me forever and into every relationship I have." "So it comes to the last question""What are you going to do?"

Thursday, August 13, 2009

" I love you "

" 3 Words "

Just three words that I want to hear
Just three words to make it all clear
I need three words to assuage my fear
Three words you can give to me to bring us closer together
Three words you can say to me to change my world forever
I want three simple words strung together in a sentence
Three little words that would mean the whole world to me
Three syllables that can have overwhelming eloquence
Three words that mean more than any others ever hurled at me
Countless ideas would never be enough
To eclipse only three of devotion and charity
Never ending ballads of emotion and love
Could not outshine these three words of clarity
A million words could never measure up
To but three spoken with sincerityJust three words that I need my dear
Just three words I’d do anything to hear
I need three words whispered into my ear
Three words once heard would lead me far outside my element
Three distinct words when uttered render all else irrelevant
Three simple words can turn my world into abject pleasure
Three little words the meaning of which cannot be measured
Three syllables strung together that alleviate so much pressure
Three words for which I yearn would be so absolutely treasured
Countless ideas would never be enough
To eclipse only three of devotion and charity
Never ending ballads of emotion and love
Could not outshine these three words of clarity
A billion words could never measure up
To but three spoken with sincerity
Just three words and I need to hear them
Three words that need to be said
So go out on a limb someday soon before we’re both dead
Three words that herald happiness
Three words from you I would never dread
Three words shouted from a mountaintop
Three words whispered in your head
Three words across the internet
Or three words lying in your bed
So much gets said about nothing
I’d rather hear “I love you” instead.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

To The Girl Who Stole My Heart

She means the world to me

Maybe tomorrow you'll take back my heart,Maybe you'll give me a brand new start.I'm living with dreams that won't come true,For you will never love me as I love you.Every thing happens for a reason,So i have to deal with this heart break without treason,You are still the apple of my eye,And many people are probably wondering why?Much respect goes out to you and i told you why,It just kills me to see our relationship telling us goodbye,Losing love for me is a feeling you cannot hide,However; you know i will always be by your side.Baby youre right, maybe your attraction for me will return,But for right now i have to just let it burn,You were always my dream come true,And i understand you did this because you were feeling blue.

It's whatever you like honey and its not your fault,Just keep my heart and lock it up in your vault,I still know you are the one for me,Will we be lovers again?...we will just have to wait and see...Hopefully the future holds something more than being friends,However you know ill be there until the end.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

You are a dream come true

A dream come true

Watching you sleep,

Dreaming away.
Sleeping in my arms,
You'll be mine, again, someday.

Feeling you breathe,
So precious when you sleep.
I love every smile,
giggle, and weep.

I constantly wonder
What you dream about.
You're truely someone
I cannot live without.

When you're out of my arms,
It feels like a hole.
A missing piece in my life,
My heart, and my soul.

You're getting so big!
So damn cute and smart.
You're filled with joy,
And a beautiful heart.

You roll like a champ,
And waving goodbye.
Everytime I leave you,
I can't help but cry.

You're so close to crawling.
I love hearing you're voice.
Please understand, Honey.
None of this was by choice.

I made some mistakes,
I admit- I was wrong.
But we'll be a family again,
And it wont take too long.

We WILL be together.
I give you my word.
The only thing that could stop me,
Is Jesus Christ, our Lord.

But, he wont take me from you.
Or, you away from me.
He had a plan, giving you life.
And someday you will see.

It may seem really messed up,
The way things have worked out.
But it all happened for a reason,
I trust God, without doubt.

All you need is Me.
And, all I need is You.
Believe in Mommy, Baby Girl.

Our dreams WILL come true...

About That One True Love

True Love

YOU, with eyes that melt into the very core of my soul
YOU, with a voice that sounds like an angel speaking to the very center of my being.
YOU, with a touch that leaves me breathless, speechless, and numbs all pain.

Your smile makes me weak and my heart skips a beat,
The sound of your voice soothes my soul and calms my spirit,
Your touch tames my wild nature and soothes my impatient soul,
The look in your eyes stops all time and space and holds me tight.

You turn my heart inside out exposing all that I am,
You kiss away all my invisible scars
You clear my slate and allow me to begin over
You transform my life with the depth of your passion
You capture me in the beautiful complexity of your mind

Eyes with an intensity that melt right into the very core of my soul. A voice that speaks straight into my heart. A touch that numbs all pains emotional and physical and takes me to a place that is all our own. I am profoundly blessed to have finally found you through all the lives we've shared before this one, God led us to each other once again. How could we be worthy of such a gift from above.

Your love is more precious to me than the air I breath and I am forever yours with all that I am from now until the end of all time.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Mr.Right , Mr.Right , Mr.Right....where are you?


When we are children, we are surrounded by many things that shape our thoughts, actions, and desires in the future. As we grow into teenagers these things we learned as children begin to take root, and we learn whether or not the behaviors we've learned are acceptable for us or not. Sometimes it's very difficult for us to unlearn things that we've been taught, or things we've told ourselves from a very young age.

Our parents are very influential in this process. The kind of relationship that our parents have with each other has been proven to directly influence the type of partner we seek out as adults. If our father is respectful and courteous to women, males are in turn usually respectful and courteous to women. If our mothers nag, berate, and pester our fathers into submission, females in turn usually do the same thing.

As children we are faced with relationships of all kinds. Usually these relationships are male female, but that doesn't matter for my purposes today. What I want to talk about is the preconditioning we all receive is children that says the purpose of human kind is to grow up and raise a family.

From a very young age we are shown that success is measured in what we achieve. The idea of a "perfect life" is having a spouse, two kids, a dog, and a house with a white picket fence. We all have our idea of what the "perfect' life would be, no matter what the details, more often than not that ideal includes falling in love and having a life long partner.

The trouble with this idea is that it rarely happens that way. We know this though, we all know the divorce rate, we all have habitually single friends, yet we still seek out this ideal. There are a few black sheep in our society that have learned that it's okay to be single, that life happiness is not dependent upon meeting somebody else.

The real trouble with this whole philosophy is that it makes us feel worthless. Just the thought of having an "other half" by nature means that until you find this other half, you are by all accounts unfulfilled. In order to be a whole you must first find that one special person who completes you.
This is absolutely crippling! No wonder single people have such low self esteem! How can they feel good about themselves when they are not whole people? There are people out there who must be in a relationship at all costs. Their lives can be going just fine, they have a job, a car, enough money, but they have no relationship and so their life's is crap.

Some of us out there food ourselves into happiness. We'll meet somebody that in our hearts we know is not right for us, and we manufacture feelings for this person. Even though this person might treat us poorly, ignore us, demean us, the idea of having a lover that treats us poorly is better than the idea of not having a lover at all. Because when that person is absent we can imagine that our relationship is great. When they are gone, we are able to think of "all the good times" that may or may not exist, but they are enough to keep it together. "Love" or the absence of it, can be truly blinding.

When do we wake up? When do we see that the pursuit of happiness does not have to include finding our soul mate? The answer is simple, when we acknowledge ourselves as being whole. When we feel whole in and of ourselves, finding a lover is no longer a need, but a want.
It took me a very long time to learn this lesson. Some of my friends are still figuring it out. To those people who still feel like they NEED a lover to be happy, I say wake up. Look around you at all of the wonderful things in your life. They are there whether you see them or not. Look at all of the people who love you, not for anything in return but just because.

I do believe that people can find a steady, stable, healthy relationship. You wont find it by holding on to every person you go out with until they cast you aside. You have to set boundaries for yourself. You have to have self worth. I went out on dates with, and had relationships with over 100 men in the course of 8 years before I met my "other half". You will never meet Mr. right, if you are too busy with Mr. Right now.

My Boo...


So cold and dark, so empty and alone,Never knowing what real love was.So fragile and closed, so hateful and cruel, never to open my heart to anyone, and then there was you.So scared, so new, not knowing what was to come, I gave you what little I had left. Hoping that you would want me the way that I am. Timid and frightened, wanting to love again, and then there was you.A little relief from the beating that my heart took, trying to remember what it was like. You showed me that it was real and true, you touch so gentle, you saw right through.All the pain and distrust disappeared that day, the love that consumed me felt so perfect and so right. Still hesitant to let anyone see who I really was, and then there was you.Believing in me, trusting me, loving me unconditionally, letting go of all the fear, anger, and regret. Knowing that it is ok just to be who I am.Crying, laughing, talking, sharing emotions that I tried to hide for so long, All because there was you.

How do I tell you how I feel about you
everytime i think of you my body shakes
everytime i see you my knees grow weak and
everytime i'm with you i dont want the time to end.
everytime i look into your eyes, i wish i was there
everytime i see you smile my heart melts and
every night before i go to sleep i pray we dont end.
I've tried somehow to say:
you're the sun that lights up my sky
the wind that keeps me cool on a hot summer day
and sweet incense that keeps me on a natural high
I want so much to tell you:
that without you with me each day my day isn't complete
that since day one I've always wanted to be with you
that no matter what's going on in my life
you're the reason there's a smile on my face
and that loving you seems to be all I need to know.
But everytime I want to
the words just wont come out
to you it may sound mushy or too cute
you may not believe it so it's better I keep my mouth closed
Then to try to tell you exactly whats on my mind
yet I wish to tell you that I'm beginning to
love you more with each passing of the day
and that I want to be with you
come whatever may.
One Word
One Look
One Smile
And my heart lightens.
How I wish it wasn't so!
I love you still.
One year ago
You captured my heart.
I have paid the price.
An astronomical sum.
And if to do it all again,
I would...because
One Word
One Look
One Smile.
Every I love you, you whisper,
is like rain for the trees,
moonlight for the ocean,
nectar for the bee
Every kiss bestowed upon me
is like fragrance on flowers,
heat upon the desert,
mist from morning showers
Every glance in my direction
is like flame to the fire,

a twinkling of stars,
a spark of love's desire
Every moment in your arms
is like waves to the ocean,
a rushing, primal urge,
a sweet mix of emotion
Every passing year marriage
is like joy without measure,
a life without limits,
I shall love you forever.


Sunday, August 9, 2009

Man In A Crowd


cuz im like no other.
i have a different scent.
i have a different taste.
i have a different face.
i have different ways.

my looks are portrayed by this ghetto i live in.
but my heart and mind are..
what they are because of this ghetto i live in.
must i be treated different
because of this ghetto i live in.?

nah nah
i like to see things different.
i dont spend my nights on the streets runnin from the police.
i dont spend any time of any day drinking,
i dont spend anytime blowing trees,
cuz i keep my life from sinking.

my mentality is what it is because of the crazy things i've seen.
"no man alive has witnessed the struggles i survive" (tupac shakur)
and not even you will ever know what i mean.

drugs and alcohol..?
man i've seen it all.
i grew up around a bunch of screw ups.
i started talkin to the girl
and i immediately grew up.
discovered she's the BEST in the world..
and my heart immediately blew up.

my life has changed.
my heart has changed.
my drive.
my outlook on life.
my mentality in general
is different.
this girl changed my life
never in my life
did i once think
i'd ever think..
"i want this girl to be my wife"

now throughout the most complicated struggles
i make sure i survive.
i will run.
i will stride.
i will jump.
i will climb.
whatever it takes..
to keep her in my life.

i could and would do anything to keep it from being "alright".
and more than fine.
cuz this girl is more than fine.
she's gorgeous.
and i thank the lord..that she's mine.

my image is portrayed by my lifestyle.
never thought my style
could make things difficult for this long of awhile
so i continue to change
and i continue to become the man i could be
and the man i promised i would be.

an athlete
an honor student
a poet
a doctor to be..
you'd think that'll do it.
but impressed they yet wont be.
so i continue to work on being the man i know i should be.

i've changed my ways.
im different.
i've changed the ways..
of others.
they're different.

the girl has complete affiliation,
with my determination.
she's the reason for this creation.
she kept me from becoming an abomination.

the reason why i wanna get out the projects
move to the hills or out on the shores.
there's nothing i want more
to change my life style
and have her in my life forever
not just for-a-while.

i continue to have fun and joke around
but 99% of my mind
is tellin me everything is gonne be fine
and as long as God is puttin that in my mind
imma continue to wisely use my mind.
cuz she's one of those girls you'd find once in a lifetime.

im no Albert Einstein.
im no Benjamin Franklin.
i cant do anything special..
other than become a different man.
im no genius
but trust me.
the man i've became.'ve never seen this.

thanks to the love of my life..
im not the man i was 2 years ago.
im different.
my life has been changed because of the
way THEY think i am.
but they dont even know me.
but, i continue to change the image i portray.
im different

No Offense To Feminism, But Some Women DO Need A Man

Girl Talk: What If You DO Need A Man?

“Some women are just happier in a relationship.”

As my shrink said this, my jaw dropped to the floor. Did she really just say that? The woman who had feminist literature on her bookshelf and never failed to induce a pep rally of self-empowerment at the end of each session?

We were, of course, discussing (OK fine, I was complaining) about my lack of a boyfriend, and inability to get over some of the ones I did have. For me, I surmised from my psychotherapy high horse, the issue was about loneliness and, therefore, about some childhood father complex. I thought I sounded smart; it seemed like something my psychiatrist would say herself.

But her response was both jarring and a relief. Some women are just happier in a relationship. Huh? Isn’t the modern woman supposed to be totally amazing on her own? But at the same time, the tension in my heart unclenched as I considered the phrase that potentially answered all of my romantic issues.

Was I one of those women? And do they really exist? Looking back, I began to think it might be true. When in committed relationships, I was happier. When single, I was depressed. Perhaps this was chance, but I realized that I took better care of my life with a boyfriend by my side. I kept things cleaner to show respect for his presence in my living space. I bathed more often and took care of my acne-prone skin.

I dug up a paper I wrote during my senior year of college when I was living with the man I planned (at the time) to marry. Based on Daniel Miller’s A Theory of Shopping, I had explored the author’s hypothesis that purchasing could be motivated by love, and proved it by shamelessly charting a week’s worth of my purchases. At the time, the list was comedic (I had a friendship with my very giving professor). But now looking at my list, I see a zeal and motivation I don’t always find in my life now. In buying skim milk, bran cereal, flax bread, I was taking pride in eating healthy. With the new dishes and wine glasses, I added sophistication to our home. I recalled feeling satisfied and grown up when we began enjoying food on matching plates and not drinking Pinot Grigio out of mugs.

When I recently asked my friends about this idea of “being better with a man” or “needing a man,” a good handful of them confirmed this belief. (Definitely not all, mind you.) One said, “I’m more organized, in control, and positive when I’m receiving male attention ... a relationship is enough to keep me motivated and excited.” Another friend, Olivia, told me, “In a relationship, I have someone else to answer to. There is another person who is close enough to me to know when I’m being lazy or not living up to my potential, so that pushes me to actually be more active.”

For Olivia and me, efforts of self-sufficiency outside of relationships can sometimes fall short, or more often, turn into faking that whole “I’m an awesome single woman” thing. And I’m sorry, I do know that I’m awesome, but getting there is exhausting. I’m not saying this is everyone, but that perhaps there are women—and men!—who need sex with trust, or who rely on spouses for friendship rather than large social networks. And perhaps “needing a man” is an indication of the more basic human instinct—not for reproduction, but for companionship.

The idea still doesn’t sit right with me as someone who has put so much energy into making me happy. But, then again, there’s a lot to say for someone who chooses to be happy. Even if it means the choice includes a man.
Are you someone who needs someone to be happy? If not, why not?If so, how so?