Wednesday, April 29, 2009


What he’ll do:

Put you on his “A” list (pay attention -- You'll know if you're not on it)
Introduce you to his family
Make plans for the future (near and far)
Do things outside of his “box” with you
Share his secrets and his dreams for the future with you
Worry about impressing your friends
Come right over when you ask him to
Try to do things that comfort you or relieve some of your stress (like surprise you with dinner on a night you are working, rub your feet, or ask about your day)
Appreciate and reciprocate your feelings and your actions like giving you a massage after he gets one from you, doing the dishes after dinner, or sending you a gift

What she’ll do:

Share her embarrassing moments and fantasies with you
Little things all throughout the day that let you know she’s thinking about you
Fantasize about her life with you, getting married, having kids, growing old, traveling the world, etc.
Tease you
Hang out with your mother or talk to her on the phone
Appreciate and reciprocate your feelings and your actions, like offering to pay for dinner, getting tickets to a game or event she knows you’ll love, or cooking for you
Ask questions about your life -- past, present, and future
Flirt with you

How you’ll feel:

Excited, yet relaxed
Vulnerable, yet strong
Comfortable enough to be yourself in front of them
Like you want to include them in everything (but you won't desert your usual crowd to be in a relationship with them)
You’ll miss them when they’re not around
You can’t wait to see them, talk to them, play with them, and kiss them
You’ll find yourself wanting to make plans to have them all to yourself
You’ll have urges to do romantic things (maybe on the verge of stalker-like things) that you never thought you’d never do

Signs that it’s not love:

They blow you off or cancel dates
Talking about commitment makes either of you uneasy or nervous
Either of you are seeing other people
Things are moving too quickly for one of you
You find your partner lacking when compared to other people
You watch a love scene in a movie or hear a love song and you feel a strong longing or desire for what you don’t have

Tips before you commit:

Take the time to compare who you have with who you know deep down that you desire and deserve. Likewise, compare the relationship you have with the one you know you really want.
Pay attention to how they treat their friends, family, business associates, and strangers. This is a good indication of how they will treat you over time and a big insight into their overall character.
Ask yourself how well you know them and how well they know you.

I am beautiful

Not only because of the curve of my hips
Or the shape of my body
Not only because of the fullness of my lips
Or the curl of my eye lashes

I am beautiful because I want to be
I am beautiful because God made me that way
I am beautiful because in my eyes
There is no one more beautiful than me

I am beautiful because I have a heart
And that is a beautiful thing
I am beautiful because I have a brain
And that is a beautiful thing
I am beautiful because I give advice
And that is a beautiful thing

I am beautiful because I want to be
I am beautiful because God made me that way
I am beautiful because in my eyes
There is no one more beautiful than me

I am beautiful because I have confidence
I am beautiful because I have determination and wit
I am beautiful because I have goals and I plan to reach them
I am beautiful because I am always there to lend a helping hand

I am beautiful because I want to be
I am beautiful because God made me that way
I am beautiful because in my eyes
There is no one more beautiful than me

Self doubt and lack of motivation are the cause of personal failures in the lives of millions of people. Not living up to your true potential can lead to anger and depression. Overcoming procrastination and building a positive self image is not impossible. There are some very practical steps you can take that will lead you to personal success and keep you motivated.

Fear of failure (or success) and a lack of energy leads to procrastination. People who procrastinate become frustrated and generally accomplish nothing. To change this negative behavior, you must first identify the things that cause you to procrastinate in the first place. Feelings of fear, rejection, and unworthiness take a real toll on your self-esteem. Taking steps to improve your self-esteem will make a huge difference in your energy level and will motivate you to make other positive changes in your life.

Human beings are motivated by two things: pleasure and pain. Make a list of the things you would like to accomplish and how you will reward yourself when you do reach your goals. When you are making your list, be sure to include the consequences you will suffer by procrastinating.

Keeping the reward in mind will make it easier to stay motivated. Overcoming irrational fears and phobias are crucial to your self-esteem and energy level. The act of procrastinating itself creates self-esteem issues. Guilt, stress, and anxiety are results of low self esteem and lack of motivation.

Procrastination is a habitual behavior. You can break the cycle of self doubt and procrastination if you make the decision to do so. Keep a list of the things you need to accomplish, both long and short term goals, and reward yourself for each thing you cross off your list. It is not easy to break old habits, but it can be done and soon you will find that the new behavior is second nature.

Keep in mind that your emotional health is closely related to your physical health. A sensible diet and exercise will do wonders for your self-image.

You will find that when you make an effort to change your negative behavior you will have more energy and your self-esteem will soar. Procrastination will no longer control your life and you will be motivated to accomplish your goals. You can change your self-image and become a highly motivated individual if you take the time to find out why you lack motivation and take steps to improve your self-esteem.


Understanding that God forgives your past, gave you a new life, knows your present and has planned your future, let you walk in the confidence that nothing can ever happen to you that is beyond the scope of the His grace and love. Christ is your beginning and your ending. Its means that you are in-between, secured in His love, mercy and knowledge.

As a Christian, you are commanded to build others up by highlighting what’s good in them instead of magnifying what’s bad, by seeing them as unique individuals instead of stereotypes, by respecting instead of ridiculing them, by forgiving instead of shaming them, by modeling unconditional love instead of love with strings attached, by applauding each step of growth instead of saying, “you will never change”, by seeing their God-given potential instead of seeing them as problems to be handled and by seeing them the eyes of love, for GOD IS LOVE.

"Forever Love"

Love stays when it would be easier to go. Love endures long past the point of lost patience. Love sees past physical imperfections and age to the beautiful heart of a person. Love says I'll stay with you even if your body is ravaged by disease, even though I feel like I might die of wanting to make love under a clear blue sky, but never will because you can't do it with me and I'll never leave.

Love stays past the point of frustration. Love tries again and again and again. Love is patient.

Love isn't infatuation or lust or a fuzzy, feel good thing. It's not comprised of candy coated words, nor does it need endless affirmation. Love can hurt like hell. It can sting. It almost always involves doing the hard thing and not what's easy.

Forever love only happens when two people endure and MAKE IT forever love. It's not something one can fall into or out of. It's something that we create over time, again and again, every time we choose to stay, until eventually the line between us blurs and we're so "one" we can't tell where you end and I begin and the skin on our hands is paper thin and spotted.

©Just Kate


I obviously can't encapsulate "forever love." This is simply how I see it today. ♥

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Just a piece of advice

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive Don't go for wealth; even that fades away Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright find the one that makes your heart smile.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in the other's shoes If you feel that it hurts you, it will probably hurt the other person too.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along the way.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't get on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.


I love this quote by Emerson. Isn’t it true?

Just last night in an airport bar I was chatting with a new friend, whom I had made over a spilled beer (hers!) -about the self-confidence that comes with maturity. We were talking about how great it is and laughing, saying, ‘if we ONLY knew then what we knew now!’ Some of this conversation centered around men... dating... and sex, but primarily it was about just about being and feeling confident. You know, confident enough to feel good about yourself inside and out.... confident enough to make sound decisions that weren’t sacrificial of one’s self worth. Confidence to just be ourselves and find happiness in that.

I believe that we women struggle with identity and self confidence more so than men, especially while in our twenties. I think it is fair to say that many of us in our youth were completely oblivious to our self worth, our own beauty and our own abilities.

I still struggle with it some, but thanks to real love and good friends I think it’s less than before and truly less than when I was younger. And a lack of self confidence can really fuck with your life.... I know it did mine! In hind sight I would say that the things I did back then and many of the youthful mistakes that I made were a result of that lack of confidence.

But the resulting mistakes and experiences are now part of the current fabric of me. They are the experiences of the day... they all make up the wisdom that Emerson refers to... it is what makes me, me today... what makes YOU, YOU.

My friend CC had posted her anniversary blog last week and in that blog she recounted those people in her life that had made the greatest impact on who she is today. I really loved that blog... It was the threads of her tapestry. We all have them. And like with influential mentors and guides, our experiences, good and bad, create beautiful facets of wisdom and insight that only come with time. Happy times AND painful times. We all experience them, they chisel at us, form us, mold us, and even painfully force us into our place. And then one day we are able to wake up and say, “Oh. Okay. I think I get it.” At that point we can stop fighting and be confident in ourselves. We are coming into our own. There is relief.

If you have followed my blogs in the last few years you know that I’ve been all over the emotional spectrum. And I have struggled a lot this last year in particular. There have been some blessings, but also lots and lots of struggles.

Honestly, I spent the majority of the last five months locked in my bedroom. I kid you not. I did take a few trips but I literally had to drag my ass out of the house. It was not easy. But it saved me.

When you have been facing the types of obstacles, roadblocks and disappointments that I have, eventually you just kinda break. Even the strongest of the strong just give in... but that can be good, particularly for those of us that might have been just a t-tad too self-confident to begin with... but wrongly so. There is something to be said in an attitude adjustment... you know... Break the spirit, awaken the mind, and rekindle the heart. Discover who you really are... Not who you THOUGHT you were... I think that is pretty much what has happened to me. I was foolin' myself and pretty darn well I might add. There is continuing discovery. And it is good.


The things I have learned about myself in the process have made me incredibly... well... incredibly whole. I have reached a point in my life where I do not feel the need to apologize for myself, my past, or choices. I am human. I will fail, I will succeed, I will disappoint, and I will even get lucky from time to time and please... but I will never be just one of those things and I will never be perfect. And you know what? THAT is okay.

I have also learned that when you let your guard down and show your friends and loved ones that you are only human that you can be blessed. They can help you. They will help you, willingly, without solicitation even.

Prior to this last year I NEVER let my guard down. It didn’t matter what was going on with me I put on a happy face and went on my way... saving my breakdowns for locked doors only. But I reached a point where that was just impossible. In reality, asking for help, support, confidence or encouragement is why we have friends. They aren’t just for beer and barbecues anymore. If they are real friends, they are there to be your friend through thick and thin... to love you when you are up and when you are down. I have learned that they will save you from yourself if you will only let them. But you have to let them.

The experiences of my past now allow me to wake up every morning, look in the mirror and be thankful for each and every day. Even those days when I didn’t really know what I would do or how I would cope. Days when I would literally lock myself in my bedroom and contemplate everything and nothing... I appreciate those days too. I do indeed feel like I’m coming out of the dark forest and back out into the light. Things just kind of prove themselves out I guess. If we are patient, watch for signs, and more importantly, listen to our hearts - things work out if they are meant to be.


I have learned that love will find you when you aren’t looking.

I have also learned that it doesn’t matter what logic you attempt to apply to it. It doesn’t matter what your seven year plan is or how you plan to control your own universe, things will often have their way with you despite your best efforts to thwart them.

I have learned sometimes you need to get out of your own way. And when you do, things only get better.

Best Diet Tips Ever

Everyone knows the keys to losing weight: Eat less and exercise more. Sounds simple enough, but in the context of real life and its demands, it can be anything but simple. So how do successful losers do it? To find out, WebMD asked experts across the country for their best diet tips.

Here's what they said:

Best Diet Tip No. 1: Drink plenty of water or other calorie-free beverages.

People sometimes confuse thirst with hunger. So you can end up eating extra calories when an ice-cold glass of water is really what you need.

"If you don't like plain water, try adding citrus or a splash of juice, or brew infused teas like mango or peach, which have lots of flavor but no calories," says Cynthia Sass, RD, a spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association.

Best Diet Tip No. 2: Think about what you can add to your diet, not what you should take away.

Start by focusing on getting the recommended 5-9 servings of fruits and vegetables each day.

"It sounds like a lot, but it is well worth it, because at the same time you are meeting your fiber goals and feeling more satisfied from the volume of food," says chef Laura Pansiero, RD.

You're also less likely to overeat because fruits and vegetables displace fat in the diet. And that's not to mention the health benefits of fruits and vegetables. More than 200 studies have documented the disease-preventing qualities of phytochemicals found in produce, says Pansiero.

Her suggestion for getting more: Work vegetables into meals instead of just serving them as sides on a plate.

"I love to take seasonal vegetables and make stir-fries, frittatas, risotto, pilafs, soups, or layer on sandwiches," Pansiero says. "It is so easy to buy a variety of vegetables and incorporate them into dishes."

Best Diet Tip No. 3: Consider whether you're really hungry.

Whenever you feel like eating, look for physical signs of hunger, suggests Michelle May, MD, author of Am I Hungry?

"Hunger is your body's way of telling you that you need fuel, so when a craving doesn't come from hunger, eating will never satisfy it," she says.

When you're done eating, you should feel better -- not stuffed, bloated, or tired.

"Your stomach is only the size of your fist, so it takes just a handful of food to fill it comfortably," says May.

Keeping your portions reasonable will help you get more in touch with your feelings of hunger and fullness.

Best Diet Tip No. 4: Be choosy about nighttime snacks.

Mindless eating occurs most frequently after dinner, when you finally sit down and relax.

"Sitting down with a bag of chips or cookies in front of the television is an example of eating amnesia, where you mindlessly eat without being hungry, but out of habit," says American Dietetic Association spokesperson Malena Perdomo, RD.

Either close down the kitchen after a certain hour, or allow yourself a low-calorie snack, like a 100-calorie pack of cookies or a half-cup scoop of low-fat ice cream. Once you find that you're usually satisfied with the low-cal snack, try a cup of zero-calorie tea, suggests Perdomo.

Best Diet Tip No. 5: Enjoy your favorite foods.

"I think putting your favorite foods off limits leads to weight gain because it triggers 'rebound' overeating," says Sass.

Instead of cutting out your favorite foods altogether, be a slim shopper. Buy one fresh bakery cookie instead of a box, or a small portion of candy from the bulk bins instead of a whole bag.

"You can enjoy your favorite foods, but you must do so in moderation," says Sass.

Best Diet Tip No. 6: Enjoy your treats away from home.

When you need a treat, Ellie Krieger, RD, host of Food Network's Healthy Appetite, suggests taking a walk to your local ice cream parlor or planning a family outing.

"By making it into an adventure, you don't have to worry about the temptation of having treats in the house, and it is a fun and pleasurable way to make it work when you are trying to lose weight," says Krieger.

And for those times you just can't get out? Krieger stocks her kitchen with fresh fruit, which she thinks can be every bit as delicious as any other dessert.

Best Diet Tip No. 7: Eat several mini-meals during the day.

If you eat fewer calories than you burn, you will lose weight. But when you're hungry all the time, eating fewer calories can be challenging.

"Studies show people who eat 4-5 meals or snacks per day are better able to control their appetite and weight," says obesity researcher Rebecca Reeves, DrPH, RD.

She recommends dividing your daily calories into smaller meals or snacks and enjoying as many of them as you can early in the day -- dinner should be the last time you eat.

Best Diet Tip No. 8: Eat protein at every meal.

Protein is more satisfying than carbohydrates or fats, and thus may be the new secret weapon in weight control.

" Diets higher in protein [and] moderate in carbs, along with a lifestyle of regular exercise, have an excellent potential to help weight loss," says University of Illinois protein researcher Donald Layman, PhD.

Getting enough protein helps preserve muscle mass and encourages fat burning while keeping you feeling full. So be sure to include healthy protein sources, like yogurt, cheese, nuts, or beans, at meals and snacks.

Best Diet Tip No. 9: Spice it up.

Add spices or chiles to your food for a flavor boost that can help you feel satisfied.

"Food that is loaded with flavor will stimulate your taste buds and be more satisfying so you won't eat as much," says Perdomo.

When you need something sweet, suck on a red-hot fireball candy for a long-lasting burst of sweetness with just a few calories.

Best Diet Tip No. 10: Stock your kitchen with healthy convenience foods.

Having ready-to-eat snacks and meals-in-minutes staples on hand sets you up for success. You'll be less likely to hit the drive-through or call in a pizza order if you can make a healthy meal in 5 or 10 minutes.

Sass stocks her kitchen with:

  • 94% fat-free microwave popcorn (20-25 calories per cup, and you can make it in two minutes or less)
  • Frozen vegetables
  • Bags of pre-washed greens
  • Canned diced tomatoes
  • Canned beans
  • Whole-grain wraps or pitas
  • Pre-cooked grilled chicken breasts
  • A few containers of pre-cooked brown rice

Within minutes, she can toss together a healthy medley.

Best Diet Tip No. 11: Order children̢۪s portions at restaurants.

"When you are eating out, order a child's pizza or a small sandwich as an easy way to trim calories and get your portions under control," suggest Perdomo.

Another trick is to use smaller plates. This helps the portions look like more, and if your mind is satisfied, your stomach likely will be, too.

Best Diet Tip No. 12: Eat foods in season.

"If you don't love certain fruits or vegetables, it could be because you ate them out of season when they have little taste or flavor," says Pensiero. "When you eat seasonally, fruits and vegetables are more flavorful, at their best, and I promise you won't be disappointed."

At GiGi's Trattoria, her restaurant in Rhinebeck, N.Y., she serves simple fruit desserts, like naturally sweet strawberries topped with aged balsamic vinegar, or low-fat yogurt or fresh berries in a compote.

Best Diet Tip No. 13: Swap a cup of pasta for a cup of vegetables.

Simply by eating less pasta or bread and more veggies, you could lose a dress or pants size in a year.

"You can save from 100-200 calories if you reduce the portion of starch on your plate and increase the amount of vegetables," says Sass.

Best Diet Tip No. 14: Use non-food alternatives to cope with stress.

Sooner or later, you're going to be faced with a stressful situation. Instead of turning to food for comfort, be prepared with some non-food tactics that work for you.

Sass suggests reading a few chapters in a novel, listening to music, writing in a journal, practicing meditative deep breathing, or looking at a photo album of loved ones.

Best Diet Tip No. 15: Be physically active.

Although it may seem counterintuitive, don't use exercise either to punish yourself for eating or to "earn" the right to eat more.

"When you do, it sets up a negative thought pattern, which is why so many people say they hate to exercise," says May.

Instead, focus on how great you feel, how much better you sleep and how much more energy you have when you exercise. Physical activity is good for you whether you are trying to lose weight or not, so keep it positive and build a lifelong habit.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Love Without Touch

Can you love someone you've never seen beyond your computer screen? Can you fall in love via e-mail? Once upon a time people had pen pals and fell in love via USPO. The electronic age provides a closer connection but can it possibly be love, or is it simply infatuation? I have a good friend who met her husband online and swears she loved him before she ever saw him. Is it possible? Can we free ourselves of the physical and love someone that we cannot touch? For those who believe in God and profess to love him, how is that any different? It's a love based on faith without real KNOWING. It's an intuition, a matter of heart... Tell me what you think.

Post script: For those that consented to an interview, I'm working on a list of questions for each of you! It may take awhile, but you'll be hearing from me.

Friday, April 24, 2009

"How To Secure Your Relationship'

Do you feel uncertain about the future of your relationship?

Would you feel more confident in your relationship if you knew exactly what to say and do so thatyour man would ALWAYS feel that being with you and staying in a committed relationship with you was worth it, no matter what kind of challenges you're having?Challenges like tough financial times, stress,temptations from other women, and disagreements?

You can learn how to create an unbreakable bond with him by reading this:

Do you sometimes wish that men could just be moreHONEST with you?Do you feel discouraged by dating because the menyou meet actually LIE about what they want fromdating, what their background is, what they do fora living and sometimes even lie about whether ornot they're AVAILABLE?

To where sometimes you end up involved with a man who is already seriously dating another woman, orworse - is married?

Not good.If these are situations that you run into a little more than you'd like, then keep reading because in this topic I'm about to reveal the "MAGIC ATTITUDE" that actually inspires a man to be completely up front and honest with you about such things as:--

If he's looking for something serious or casual-- If he's seeing other people -- If you're the kind of woman he's drawn to -- If he's ready to"settle down" or not As a matter of fact, with this magic attitude, you may be able to get a man to reveal a lot more than he would ever reveal on his own, without prompting, and the ADDED BENEFIT of this is tha the will feel more "connected" with you because he'll feel he can tell you just about ANYTHING.

He'll feel more attracted to you because he'll feel more understood and appreciated by you.This is why I call this attitude "magic." It not only inspires honesty from a man, it makes him feel
more connected to you at the same time.Nice.I

If you're single and dating right now, this mindset or attitude can actually help you qualify the right man and avoid Mr. Wrong as early in thedating process as possible, perhaps even before youmeet in person for the first time (if you'reonline dating).And if you're in a relationship, it can help you get to the bottom of what he's thinking and feeling, so you can know why he's with drawing, ifhe's open to taking things to the "next level," orwhat's holding him back from fully committing to you.But first, there's a fundamental question that seems to bother a lot of women.

Why does this even have to be an issue, anyway?

Why can't a guy just be up-front and honest with you?Why, for example, is it so hard for a man to tell you why he's not calling as often or why he stopped asking you out, especially when he seemed so "into you" in the beginning?

You go out on a few dates with a guy, and you think everything is going great.then he stops calling. He doesn't respond to your emails ortexts. It's like he's dropped off the face of the earth. Maybe you even realized that he was a nice enough guy, but you didn't know him well enough yet to fall in love or anything.But wish you could at least hear WHY he stopped calling, stopped asking you out, stoppedr esponding to your messages.You just wish he could be HONEST with you.

It's no big deal - you can handle it. Right?Hmmm.perhaps, but that's not how HE may be seeing things.


Imagine this scenario:You're on a first or second date with a man and it's going really well.You're laughing, you're having a great conversation and you seem to have a lot in common, it's almost scary how similar your attitudes are about certain things.You feel an intense "chemistry" between you.

He's staring at you with that "look" that tells you he is very attracted to you.He even talks about places he'd like to take you to someday.You are almost positive that this is the beginning of something meaningful with this guy.But a day or two goes by after the date and you don't hear from him. Then a week, then two weeks.You send him a message, "Haven't heard from you in a while. How are you?"But he doesn't respond. You never hear from him again. You beat yourself up, analyzing everything you did and said on the dates to see if maybe you accidentally put him off.

Months later, you find out the truth from someone else. During the time he was dating you, he was also dating another woman, and was now getting more "serious" with her.You feel confused and disappointed, and a bitannoyed that he didn't just tell you the TRUTH about what was going on.Why didn't he tell you the truth - either before,during or after he went on a date with you?

The truth would have been a whole lot better than days or weeks WONDERING and beating yourself upover nothing. Right? Of course it would.So why does a man lie to you? Why does he avoid telling you the truth about a situation?The answer is simple.A man will lie to you because he hates confrontation.He FEARS your emotional response. He fears your rejection of him. He fears that HE won't be ableto "handle" your response.He's imagining that you're going to cry, scream,be disappointed, argue, or complain.

He fears being put on the spot or "attacked."Understand - I'm not saying you would do any ofthose things.I'm just telling you what that guy - who maybe doesn't know you all that well yet - is thinking.You may be a cool cucumber. Totally able tomaturely handle whatever he tells you.It doesn't matter - somewhere in his past, there was a woman or two who did in fact overwhelm him with her emotional response, and it FREAKED himout.He could have just said, "Hey, I am dating anotherwoman right now, and I've decided that I want toget to know her better. I think you're great, butI also feel that I want to give this other situation a chance.

"Instead, he tells you NOTHING--he avoids you,stops calling, and hopes that he won't ever haveto face your criticism and judgment.It's not a particularly mature and considerate thing to do, but that's the reality of how it is with a lot of men. Not all, but definitely a lot.They don't even realize in the moment how YOU'RE feeling.all they know is that they have to do whatthey must do to avoid that confrontation they fear.

Despite this, there's reason to be hopeful that you can create the space for a man to be honest with you with really no effort.And here's something else you need to know.there's a "window of opportunity" for getting the most honesty right away, so you can screen out the men who are Mr. Wrong from the start.Be sure to know when that window is open for you,and take advantage of it.

WHY FIRST AND SECOND DATES ARE CRITICAL TIMES FOR HONESTY his is an interesting fact: a man will be MOST HONEST with you when he is NOT YET emotionally engaged or invested in your relationship yet.In other words, you can probably learn a LOT abouta man on a first or second date, when you're just getting to know each other.This is a time when he's not so afraid to share,because he's not afraid of disappointing you(since you don't know each other well enough yet).

This is when you should be listening VERY closelyto what man tells you.This is when he'll tell you things like, "I'm just looking for something casual and fun right now. Ijust got out of a long-term relationship and not into getting into the same situation anytime soon."Or he might laugh and say, "I'm a lifetime bachelor. Settling down doesn't interest me in theleast."Or, he might reveal some other dark secret, "My ex was an unhappy woman. Always complaining about onething or another about me."And that's when you need to HEAR what he's saying.And take him seriously. Know what you're in for.The man you choose is the man you get.


When you want to inspire honesty in a man, so that you let him know that he is "safe" when he shares with you, you have to have what I call the"Anything is OK" attitude.Now, this doesn't mean that anything is OK for aman to do, and that you're supposed to acceptanything he does and have no boundaries or limitations.The attitude is more like you thinking, "Anythingis OK for you to share with me, but I know what Iwill and will not tolerate in my life, and what Iwant. But you can TELL ME anything. I can handle it.

"How do you communicate this attitude?
Easy.With the three little words: "I'm just curious."It can go like this."Are you seeing anyone right now? I'm justcurious?""What kind of relationship are you looking for?I'm just curious.""What kind of woman do you most admire? I'm justcurious.""Where do you see yourself in the next five years?I'm just curious."Using these three words not only lets a man knowthat you'll be OK with whatever he tells you, butthat you're not needy or too aggressive, and hecan feel safe telling you just about anything.Just don't stare at him, holding your breath,waiting for his answer. That defeats the purpose -BIG TIME.

Here's the deal.It's not that a man is afraid of certain questions. It's just that the WAY a womanasks those questions makes him feel strange.If a woman warns, "You're not seeing anyone elseright now, are you?"

It almost automaticallyinvites DISHONESTY in a man.If you want to inspire sincerity in a man, youmust have the "Anything is OK" attitude and usethose 3 magic words to get the most honestresponse possible.That way, you won't waste a lot of time going ondates with "unavailable" men, men who haveskeletons in their closet, aren't over their ex,or are actually interested in a different kind ofrelationship than you are.

Wouldn't you benefit from knowing exactly how to use the "anything is OK" attitude to screen out the right man from all the wrong ones? How to know if the man you're with now is really being honestwith you about where the relationship is headed?Or if he's lying?In my CD/DVD program, "Meeting The One," I explainhow to use the Anything is OK Attitude to maximizeyour success in dating and relationships.You'll learn how to screen for potential jerks byknowing what to do and say even BEFORE you agreeto meet on a first date.And in this program, I'll teach you what to do andsay to create amazing chemistry with the RIGHT MANand how to constantly be increasing the level ofATTRACTION between you. You'll learn:--

How certain phrases you speak can be a DEAL-BREAKER for a man when he hears it the first fewtimes he dates you.and how to avoid these at allcosts-- How to make a man see your VALUE by the thingsyou say or not, so that he will believe your"status" to be high and therefore will benaturally attracted to you-- How to make a man feel ATTRACTION from thefirst five minutes all the way through the firstfive dates using specific "counterintuitive"actions-- The secret to drawing a "non-committal" mancloser to you by making yourself a "challenge" inhis eyesIt's all right here, totally risk-free. You cantry my Meeting The One program free for a monthand learn all my best secrets to flirting, datingand attracting a man to you from the moment youmeet him:

If you have a handle on dating and flirting, butyou are often confused by what men do and say,then there's something I want to ask you.Wouldn't you love to have more insight into whymen do the things they do, so that you could feellike you UNDERSTAND men better (and therefore havebetter relationships)?

Over the years, women have asked me the same kindof questions over and over about men, dating andrelationships:-- What makes a man "fall" for a woman? What's thesecret?-- How can I get him to really listen to me andget me?-- Why do men cheat? Do all men want to cheat?-- How can I affair-proof my relationship?-- What do men look for in a woman before they decide she's "The One"?--

Do men go through stages of maturity, and if so, what stage is my man in?I couldn't let these questions go unanswered.So I actually put together an entire and unique program that answers ALL of these questions,including more in-depth insights into why men lie,why men SEEM to be more "cold" and "in control"emotionally, and how knowing your man inside andout can bring you closer than you ever thoughtpossible.

In my "Inside the Mind of a Man" program, I helpyou understand what a man's words and actionsreally mean, and I bust the common "man myths"that are keeping you from truly and completelyconnecting with a man.To learn instantly what the 3 most common anddestructive myths are about men that are holdingyou back from love, and can tear apart anotherwise great relationships, click here and readthis

I know that the easiest way to help you find and connect with a GOOD man is to teach you the skills to get the most honesty possible from a man, and then know what it takes for a man to feel deeply in love with you.

Do you ever wonder why a man will spend time"zoning" out in front of the TV or totally absorbed in sports, or tinkering in the garage orbrowsing the Internet? Or why he hates to "talk"about the relationship?Men have different needs when it comes to relaxingand unwinding. They also have different needs whenit comes to intimacy and getting physical.You probably know what those are. Or do you? Findout by reading about the 3 Man Myths and the truthbehind what men REALLY need and want

Love is the word that makes one go into dreams of bliss and the word that can take one into pain. It all depends, how your love turned out. If you were stabbed in the back, pain will be the result and if you got loyalty, it will be pleasure. When one looks at the scenes of destruction of one's love, when one revisits the places where love had blossomed, below the flowering trees, one goes in to the memories of the lost love. It hurts and it hurts very badly.

Similarly the love that enriches us can be invaluable. It gives a new breath, a new life. Love can give life and when lost, life may be lost. Call it addiction to love or whatever, love is a feeling that cannot be described in words. it has to be felt.

We hear about many break-ups and separations. What happened to the love that brought the couple together in the beginning? How can ex lovers talk of revenge? In love, there is no revenge. If your beloved stabs you in the back, you will not ask for revenge, because you loved and you still love. As I have yet to talk to someone who stabbed the beloved, I don't know about his or her thinking, but it must be that of - how could I do this? Or may be they are so evil that they applaud themselves for their backstabbing!

Love is sublime. Love gives power. Love gives determination. In love, many lovers do what they could never dream of. Empires have been sacrificed for love. Battles have been fought for love. Love has ruled mankind since ages. Those who experience love are truly lucky.

I Love You ______________________________ The sweetest word is your name.And the greatest thing is your love.All the lonely tears that have escaped my eyes have made me who I am,One to love you more.All the times I felt I've found the one,And all the times I've mourned over a bleeding heart,All the things I've wished I've done,And all the things I wished I hadn't helps me love you with purity and certainty.All the times we fight feels like we're gambling our lives.I hope we never lose.I love you so much,I love you with all my faults and all my achievements.I love you with all that I am.I love you for who you are.I hope in the quietest of the nightwhen I whisper out to you you know just what to do.You listen to hear my voice echoing how much I love you. ______________________________________

Even If My Heart Would Break - Kenny GMore at
How To Comment A Blog (In One Easy Lesson)

"Commenter's Block" ~ Has this ever happened to you? You get all geared up to visit blogs... Your blog page is loaded with new blogs to read and enjoy...However, you just can't seem to get started. You find that all the good comments are all taken. Oh, you may get lucky and get away with an occasional "frist" but, for the most part, you are simply hung out to dry.Let's face it... Only so many blogs are so wonderful that I want to call up my Mom and thank her for my having been born. On the other hand, few are so bad that I would gather honey from the hive with my bare hands rather than read them.You could just leave kudos, but there is no fun in that. So, with the help of my very good friend, Jannie, who kept the notes we had for another blog of hers some time back, I will attempt to make the process of commenting blogs just a bit more convenient, in an effort to expediate the process.What if all you had to do was put in letters of the alphabet? If all you had to do was insert A thru Z... Let's see :A - Good write. ~ This is universal in concept. Can mean, seriously good, or be used as acceptable filler. Really effective in collabs where you are expected to read and comment a very large number of blogs within a blog.B - You are constantly improving. ~ Means I really have a personal interest in you, but your writing is not what brings me here.C - ROFLMAO. ~ Can't go wrong with this one, unless there was no humor intended by the writer. In which case, this was probably not the way to go.D - Great write! ~ See "A" E - You don't know if you have lost a cow or found a rope. Means there is a possibilty the reader doubts the facts are factual.F - My sentiments exactly. ~ Means the reader agrees emotionally with the intended concept of the writing. Facts bear no relevance. Whe needs them at a time like this? They would only get in the way.G - So right! ~ Very effective, but only if the writer made just one point in the blog. H - What were you thinking? ~ Think, "Gathering honey from the hive with my bare hands," if this does not make sense.I - This is one for the archives. ~ While this may, at one time have been a positive remark, it has become the ultimate code phrase for said blog to be buried somewhere in the back of the archives, never to be seen or heard from again. J - You need to copyright this immediately! ~ Means this is so origonal, the writer needs to lay claim to it, as this concept is about to appear all over the network.K - Awesome !!! ~ Just what it says. Altogether positive remark. L - Does your wife read your blogs? She reads mine. ~ This is just wrong!M - * smiles * ~ I have no idea what this means.N - Powerful. ~ See "K"O - Touching. ~ No negative connotation here. Always acceptable.P - Meaningful. ~ Just what does this mean? Total vagueness. A favorite of mine.Q - Appropriate. ~ Does not say a lot, but says nothing wrong. Appropriate.R - You inspire me. ~ To do what?S - You make me wet. ~ I have seen this on occasion, but never here. Generally relegated to late night blogs. Ahem...T - Those Republican bastards! ~ One of the reasons I never blog politics.U - Worthwhile - Not sure if this refers to time spent writing or time spent reading. Note: Perceived value is relative.V - I forgot. That is not a comment. I really forgot what it was.W - Why is your blog so wide I have to go into the next room to read it all? ~ Generally, this is a result of a Photbucket malfunction, and not always the fault of the blogger, as much as that of an overzealous commenter.X - The X-Factor is a widely used trick seen mostly on poetry blogs, where the writing is so far over the head of the reader, that rather than make an attempt at guessing the percieved meaning, one or more lines from the blog will be repeated, as though they were the most pertinent lines written. It is interesting to note throughout the series of comments these "pertinent lines" will not be repeated. Different ones will be inserted. Eventually, the entire manuscript could very well end up in the comments.Y - Why ??? - Because Ruggi said so, that's why...Z - Z is arbitrary. In the event there are "other remarks" this is where they might be plugged in. As for me. I use Z almost exclusively. But, hey, that's just me.So, did I leave anything out?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

>NOTE: What's your biggest frustration with men,
relationships and dating?

Do you find it easy to meet men, but hard to keep
their attention and interest as soon as things
start to get "serious"?

Are you wondering how to approach your boyfriend
about commitment, because you've been together a
long time now and HE isn't bringing it up on his

Are you worried that the man you're with will
cheat on you?

I actually put together a list "Top 10" questions
that I most commonly get from women like you, who
are wondering how to get past certain "bumps" in
the road when it comes to their love lives.

Find out what to do in each of these situations,
and see if YOUR specific relationship or dating
question is one that I answer in the letter that
appears on this page:

Monday, April 20, 2009

Love and Time

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said,
"Richness, can you take me with you?"
Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!"
"I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you."
"Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder,

Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?"
"It was Time," Knowledge answered.
"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Learn From Your Mistakes

Life is like a giant puzzle. Each of us has a picture in our minds of how our lives will turn out. We keep adding pieces, one at a time, attempting to create that beautiful picture.

If one piece does not fit, we replace it with another. We never get all the pieces in the right place on the first try.

It's all about experimenting until each piece fits together with the
Though our futures may not be clear or turn out exactly as we expected, each of us has the strength inside to put the puzzle together.

We just have to look for the right pieces. It may seem impossible, but keep striving.

Life's pieces have a way of falling into place when you least expect it.

Keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over again, and you will grow stronger until you have accomplished a purpose - not the one you began with perhaps, but one you'll be glad to remember.

Setbakcs and disappointments are something we all experience at one time or another. But if you refuse to believe in failure, you'll be able to find a way to open up all those doors that at one time you thought were closed to you forever. If you mark something down as a failure, then that's what it will be. But if you make up your mind to get the better of the situation, an experience that you once labeled as a failure can become another steppingstone toward happiness. So the next time something doesn't turn out exactly as you'd hoped, turn it around, be a fighter. Remember: it's the people who can turn a negative into a positive and bounce back who really get ahead in life.


Go where the heart longs to go

Don't pay attention to the feet that want to stay rooted

Go where the mind wants to explore

Don't worry about the hands that still want to hold on

Go where your gut is fearful to go

Don't let your body sit in one place

Go where your heart knows it should go

Listen to your Heart

You cannot listen to what others want you to do. You must listen to yourself




and loved ones do not know what you must do.

Only you know and only you can do what is right for you.

When you can look back on a day and find within it even one warm memory or a single touching story, you've paid attention to your heart. That's worth whatever time it took.

What Beautiful Things That Are True About You?

You are appreciated and celebrated. Feel really good about who you are. About ll the greatest things you do! Aknowledge your talents and ablities. Realize what a beautiful person you are.

You are an inspiration. Among all the great things you do, you are capable of...Reaching down deep and searching within. Discovering how strong you can be. Rising up as high as a wishing star. And loving the possibilities you see.

You are such an amazing person. You're a one-of-a-king gift to this space and time. You're the only one in the universe exactly like you! You take good care of that rare remarkable soul. You deserve it.

You are blessed. You Know that it's easy to invest in the best riches of all, and that precious moments are most likely to come to those who search them out.

You are insightful. You know how important it is to... Believe in yourself. Be the miracle you are. Let the wonder in. Let all the worries out.

You are someone with great potential. You have the ability to make everyday special. Each new morning comes to us gift-wrapped, and fresh out of the box are moments we've never experienced before, opportunities we've never known, and chances we've never taken. What truly magnificent gift! Those with the "same-old, same-old" outlook let the chances just slip away. But those who understand the value of the gift? Well... they have a chance to turn the present.... into a really extraordinary day!

You are caring and creative. You have the ability to...Follow your heart. Trust your instincts. Listen to the song that sings in you. And Let your spirit dance to that tune.

You know the value of the best treasures. You know that although it's important to have enough material wealth to meet your needs, love ones and friends are real treasures of life, and happiness is the one of the real wealth.

Life is precious... and it's too short to spend it trying to accumulate things that, in the end, will pale in comparison to possessing peace of mind. Aim for the best level of health you can achieve, a place where you truly feel at home, feelings that make you feel so alive, the smiles your favorite memories can bring, and all those things of immense value... that will never have price tag on them.

I am missing my love so much...

She is the love of my life and I am lost when she is not here...

I know that I will see her soon, but the emptiness I feel causes my heart to ache...

I know I am silly, 'coz she tells me so, hehe

She also calls me gorgeous, but I'm not so sure of that...But, if she says it's so, then it's so...

There is no one big reason why I love her, but so many little reasons...

This beautiful girl is my honey angel, and she means everything to me...

She is so kind, and sweet and gentle too...

She's tender, and loving, her beauty shines through...

She's considerate, forgiving, but never judgmental...

And all of her qualities make me feel sentimental...

For the times that I'm with her, so precious and few...

I never miss telling her, "honey angel, I love you"

And we always make sure to leave with loving words...

Everything that she tells me sounds like the singing of birds...

She knows all of this that I say now to you...

But I want you to know how my love for her is true...

And I hope when she reads this she'll know even more...

That her love has taken me to heaven's door...

Where one day we'll enter and there we will be...

In love evermore and for all eternity...

Honey Angel, I say these words for all to see...

But you know that they're meant just for you, my sweety...



Just a love note for you...from my heart.

If you could open my heart's door and step inside, you'd be overtaken by an atmosphere of love that would take your breath away. You would feel arms so loving, a heart so caring, and feelings so strong that you would lose all track of time. You would be transported by a power so extraordinary that nothing would be impossible for you. You'd float on cotton candy clouds that would make you smile. You'd lose every care, every pain, every burden. No fear could live in this presence. Every anxiety would melt away...And you'd know that you had inspired all this love.

There would be a light so warm and real that is would lift you and heal you of any hurt you've ever experienced. It would take away every worry in your life and erase even the slightest scar on your soul. You'd know the essence of a magical love that paves the way for memories and smiles too sweet to capture in word pictures.

I love you beyond any expression that I could come up with, but I hope you can feel the enormity of emotion and overwhelming joy in my heart because you're you.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

"Love Relationships"

ok...the only way u can have a healthy relationship with someone is if you have a relationship built off the trinity. And in a relationship there is 2 different trinities .

The Father+the son+holyspirit=god
You+ur mate+god= successful relationship

And the bible speaks on if ur not dining with god then ur eating ur supper with the devil. If ur relationship is not built on god. then its built on the devil

And for those who keep on saying that they can change someone from being a hard core such and such. and then wonder why they end up heartbroken. Yawl not realizeing that you are the ones that put yourself in the situation to become hurt, because all the signs was there but you chose to think otherwise.

Thinking you can change someone but when the day ends. You only have pieces of your heart 2 pick up, tears to dry, headaches to ease and problems to forgive.

you see...No offence but ladies yawl need to stop saying every man is dogs, Not all man are bad, and i know a saying it says if you calling your man a dog, that must mean your a bad tamer cause dogs are loyal animals. got to watch what you say.

to some women that try to go to a church find someone. but they get treated by the so called church guy, like they did back when someone that was in the world. and now they blame god! But I'm here to tell you if he did something to you that was that's of the world. then he was not of god... cause gods people are not conformed by this world but are transformed by the renewing of there soul in god. so you cannot blame god for that because god gave you decernment, so again you had the signs, you had the common sense but you just did'nt want to believe what god was trying to show you though desentment because it felt so good to be held. Didn't want to be lonely but now since you didn't listen now you feel lonely, got a broken heart and blaming god for something he tried to help you out of.

all because you thought you can tame someone you call a dog. and no its not just the ladies calling man dogs is the man to calling them Bit***. Thinking that they can disrespect a woman.

YOU SEE HERE IS THE FACT, The biggest question alive right now is why is it when a man finds a good women on top of her game, educated, making money and got a good head on her shoulder, they treat them bad Wrong and disrespectful? Well the truth is a lot of men wants a women that they can fool a lot of men want an ignorant type of girl so that they can easily manipulate them and go have fun without their knowing. but when they try to do it to an female that educated know the rules and the regulations to his game. the man try to use other ways to break into her, he try to get into her physically by beating her touching on her and being violent. making her know that he can do whatever he want and if physical don't work he will go after the mental and use his tongue to break her, make her feel as if she needs him and this and that.

but u see he try to use tongues to control a women and I know it says in the book of james that "the tongue is a fire." it can do something as good as blessing god or it can torment you and devour you emotionally,

but women to play a fair thing but instead they can keep quite and wont let nothing be known and make it seem like everything is okay. you see women can be as sneaky as a snake searching for its prey once they got you figured out is when they move on their attack. men can be the same way at times but mainly females master the style of being sneaky. but when all odd us knowing that he or she usually be running his mouth at the moment talking jibberish. we can see something is wrong that their doing something bad. but since you ain't listening to your disernment you letting your your mate manipulate you.

everyone we got to know what to say and when to say it and know when to talk and what to speak when its time to talk.

Nowadays people are too blunt. Meaning they just say whatever is on there mind without giving them no thought. As long as they know they in control they don't worry about their mates feelings.

now if you been listening, you will see the root to all these problems has beeen one simple word and thats "CONTROL", when one wants to control this, and the other wants to do that their way. Problems begin to get birth, thinking they can enslave someone in their love. If they stopped relying on a whip and start relying on their bible yawl both will still be happy.
looking for who is going to control what, when if you leave the control in gods hand he will let yawl live happily together forever. that's why many relationships are cursed. They let there relation derive on man no they let there relationship deprive on flesh no they let there relationship deprive on themselves but the truth is they let there relationship deprive on sin and the devil. when they can put it in gods hand.

ok i'm going to end this with a quote i made up. which means if you want someone whose good if you want someone into god if you want someone that's gone treat you right you should go to god and god will lead you into that person god has my heart, my mind and my soul then why dont you go to god and he will lead you to me...

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Think Big!!!

clip_image002.gif picture by arti810

You've Got To Think Big To Be Big.

If you don't have a dream, how are you going to make it come true?

High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation.
You'll always hit what you aim for in the long run.
Why not aim high?

Have the courage to follow your dreams.
It's the first step towards attaining your destiny.

Big thinking precedes big achievement.

"You're Never Too Old to Make a Difference"

With the passage of years come the gifts of wisdom of experience, of respect.

The changing of the seasons assings a deeper purpose to life... a wider sense of its truest meaning.

It teaches through trial and error not just to live for oneself, but for others as well.

It lifts off all past restrictions with the challenge that you can still do everything you want... If you only put your mind to it.

It encourages you to keep your brain active, to keep your thoughts positive. It laughs a lot, plays a lot, love a lot.

As the hands of time tick on... moments become more precious, not because the hours are moving by more quickly, but because you've gained a higher sense of how truly wonderful life is.

We all become different people as we grow older, with different hopes and dreams, goals and achievements, memories and feelings. No one can ever say that, as a person, they are all they can be, for its is then that they have stopped growing from within. We must continue to grow, to dream, to make new memories, and to do whatever gives us peace within ourselves. NEVER MIND IF SOMETIMES PEOPLE LAUGH AT YOU WHEN TRIED TO SHARE WHAT MAKES YOU DIFFERENT.