Monday, October 5, 2009

The Letter To The One

It's been so long since I've heard your voice. It was reckless of me letting you slip away from me. I want you to know what has happened all this time, but as of right now im so terrified to hear from you again mainly cause i dont know what your gonna say since i've been gone for so long.

I'm hesitating so much to pick up the phone and call you - i'm just too scared and nervous, but i know that i will hear from you soon cause i cant stand this heartache anymore, slowly im dying without you in my life.

I tried to live my life but everyday seemed like it was getting harder to breathe. Im still fighting that pain i still have left within me, its a battle im slowly losing because your not there when i need you most. There were so many sleepless nights that i thought about you, but there were times i wanted to forget about you. I tried to replace you with different guys but no matter who i'm with you'd always come back into my mind.

My heart was telling me that they're not the ones for me.It seems impossible for me to forget about you, i wish i had the strength to let go but its not easy to forget someone who i truely fallen in love with 3 years ago.

I've had to endure cold lonely nights were i would cry so hard into my sleep wanting so badly to scream, holding onto my chest all throught the night trying to stop that strange horrible emptiness that was consuming my heart. If only you knew how much i've been suffering without you, if only you can see how lifeless my soul is.Everytime i think about you, i always want to know what you're thinking, what you're feeling, i just cant help but to worry about you.

I just hope your not suffering as much as i am, I just cant let you feel what ive been feeling all this time, its something i dont want you ever feeling in your life. There are times that i wonder if your ever think about me, i want to believe you do but i feel that im too far away to be in your mind. I know you dont feel the same way i feel about you, but i hope that one day you can and see that my heart only beats for you.

Today i wanted to call you just like all those other attempted times but im always thinkin that maybe you've forgotten about me, that you moved on, maybe you already found that girl you've always wanted to love. Just thinking about these things tears me apart but these thoughts wont stop me from letting you know how i still feel about you.We both have fragile hearts and are cautious of who we give it to, but you shouldnt worry about me holding it for i would never hurt you, i have once but i wont do it twice.

I regret everyday what i did to you but im only human and im already paying for what i did. I just want you to understand that im fighting so hard for you, im risking the last bit of life i have in my heart for you. I will admit im terrified to lose you again as well as im afraid that if you let go i'll never fall in love again but im gonna do whatever it takes to show you true loyalty and affection.

I realized now that your the only one my heart ever wants, i realize that love can be painful but wonderful at the sametime. I know im so far away but i'll always be here whenever you need me. I'll always be here for you. I just cant see myself giving my heart to anyone else, i just hope you wont leave me again.

Its not easy without you here. Im tired of searching for love in this cold heartless world.Im tired of pretending that im ok when im not.If only people could understand what you truely mean to me.If only they can see that there is no other like you in this world.If only you knew how much you changed my life.

If only you knew how special you are to me.I know what im feeling is not mistaken for anything else.Let me show you what true love really feels.Take my hand and i'll lead you to true happiness.Please understand that i cant stop missing you. I cant keep myself away from you, I just dont have the strength anymore.

I promise i'll hold your heart forever.
Ohne dich kann ich nicht leben.Ich liebe dich.

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