Ok, this blog took a lot of time and effort, thanks to all of you who helped with your input and thoughts:
Kayla, Kristin, Shannon, Gorilla, Sherri, Jay, Trey and Lover Lovingston.
What makes a good friend to me??
This was a hard question for me to answer and I want to pose this question to all of you at the end here....
In my eyes a real friend is tried and true. They are there when you need someone to talk to and they understand your feelings or at the very least act understanding even when they don't understand fully. They sympathize with you and they always take your feelings into consideration. They understand that things in your life need to be accomplished as well as they would take care of their own things. They don't get angry or mad if you have something important that needs to be done before all else. They will not talk about you in public and they will always have your back.
A good friend will offer you advice and stand by your side even if they do not agree with the decisions you may make. A good friend will offer encouragement and offer prayers or good thoughts/words to help you through a situation.
A good friend will call you when they know you are having a bad day to make sure you are ok, to do the best they can to offer a shoulder or an ear. A good friend will not only think of themselves, but always take care of themselves...you can't be a good friend to someone, that offers good advice, if you aren't all together yourself...
A good friend will laugh at you AND with you, they will tell you when you mess up or they may keep their thoughts to themselves, but either way, they'll love you regardless of your failures or decisions. They'll question your thoughts, beliefs or feelings, to make sure you think from all angles, not just to be an ass. They may say something you don't like to hear or don't want to hear, but they do it in YOUR best interests.
A true friend will never be offended by another friend’s advice or questions…maybe if there was an offense taken it was only because it was the truth and it made them mad to hear it said aloud, maybe it only reconfirmed their fears. True friends don’t say those things out of spite, but out of looking after the ones they care about and protecting the ones they love.
Real friends don’t publicly fault their friends. They are grown up and can act mature enough to handle things like an adult. A real friend doesn’t stab you in the back when you are only trying to be helpful. A real friend won’t ignore you over something trivial and insignificant.
A real friend will understand your need to take care of the things in your life above all else. If they are a real friend they won’t fault you for taking a few minutes to get something important taken care of. They will understand and still be there once you have taken care of necessary business.
A real friend will sense when there is something wrong in your attitude or personality, they will call you up to see if you are ok, they will send you a message saying that “I’ll be there for you, when you want to talk.”
They let you have space, but don’t let you go too far from their sight. They keep you in mind and always have your best interests at heart. They understand that your family will always come before them and are not selfish in their desire to take up all of your time and energy. They appreciate the efforts you make at friendship, even if you are not able to lend out hours of your time at the time they need you.
There are exceptions to this of course. If a friend is in a car wreck or tragically ill and on their deathbed, then yes, a real friend will put their life on hold to help the other one make it through and cope. They will drop it all and give everything they have towards making the friend's situation more comfortable or tolerable. However, if it is the same situation over and over again, for example an asshole significant other or a drug problem, then the friend in need should understand that the things in your life will take importance over their matters at hand. It doesn’t mean you don’t care, it just means you have to take care of something, you WILL get back to their problems as soon as you can, but experiencing the same problem over and over because you don’t want to change things only means one thing…insanity.