Sunday, February 10, 2008

How to make Marriage worked that would last;"till death do us part"

This is my personal point of view,i'm not against any religion or laws but this is what i think that should be applied to make your marriage last;

1.When marrying someone you need to analyze how do you really feel for that person?what attracted you to him/her?is it just lust?infatuation?or true love?am i really ready to spend my whole life with this person?

2.Marrying is sharing your life with the person you choose to marry,Respect & trust are very important factors that a relationship should have without this two you can't be able to make your marriage last.

3.Openness/No boudaries in your communication.Couples should learn to communicate with there other half,regardless of the topic...don't underestimate your partner.Showing that you trust & believe in what he/she can do will help your relationship build a strong foundation.

4.Compatibility is very important bec. if you don't share same interest you will look for someone who have the same interest as you do that would make your marriage suffer for you don't enjoy the companionship of each other.

5.Marrying is trusting with all your heart,do you really accept the person that you want marry?his/her past?all about him/her?for me pre-nuptial is not advisable in any marriage.It is not that i'm protecting anyone,it is the fact that if you will marry someone you fully give your trust to that person.Having a pre-nuptial in the first place is a sign that you really don't trust the one you choose to marry,if you have always a doubt in your mind that he/she will not be true to you, why marry?if you don't fully trust someone,don't marry at all!You will just make your lives miserable.
*Our Relationship*
The purpose of our relationship is to love, trust and nurture one another so that we both grow and achieve our full potential as soul mates, lovers and friends.
We promise to …
• Have fun together
• Share passion and fulfill each others sexual desires
• Focus on things that we appreciate about one another and acknowledge them
• Experience the things we have loved as if we were doing them for the first time
• Treat each other with kindness and respect
• Create a relationship where we can experience peace and contentment
• Be lighthearted and not take ourselves too seriously
• Experience unconditional love
• Appreciate our strengths and accept our faults
• Communicate openly and freely with ultimate trust and truth
• Celebrate the relationship as the most important thing in our lives
• Laugh a lot!!!
• Share trust, love, intimacy to the deepest level possible
• Have dreams together and share the journey of them coming true
In order to fulfill these promises we will…
• Make time for that “Start the Day Hug”
• Spend 10 to 30 minutes a day for Couple Time and Alone Time
• Make our love visible with notes and cards
• Spend a minimum of 2 weekends per month alone together
• Have 1 relationship night per week
• Enjoy regular “Holding Time” – 5 minutes or more each day
• Share 2 energy or visualization sessions per week
• Have 2 Heart to Heart Talks per week
• Weekly “Support Review”
• Review our triggers once a month
• Pick a picture on the relationship creation boards and talk about what it feels like to achieve that• Take turns planning a “Date Day” twice per month
We agree that we both will …
• Make our relationship a priority
• Do whatever it takes to make our relationship mutually satisfying
• Acknowledge each other frequently
• Be emotionally supportive to one another
• Be personally responsible for our own experience
• Be honest in all ways
• Have the right to say no without losing each others love
• Create an environment conducive to love-making
• Have a period of intimate sharing before sex
• Be sensitive to each others needs and desires
• Be responsible for our own sexual satisfaction
• Communicate through any upsets until they are resolved to our mutual satisfaction
• Always tell the truth about our thoughts and feelings
• Be responsible in our communications, i.e. to speak in “I” sentences and to not cast blame
• Clear our resentments and upsets daily with each other
• Spend time looking into what’s going on with ourselves first, e.g., using the CURE Upset Resolution Process in order to avoid blaming the other
• Seek outside support when we are stuck
• Learn from an upset
• Work on resolving unresolved issues from the past
• Agree that it is OK to disagree
• Not use these agreements to control or manipulate each other
• Be responsible for keeping these agreements and to use an amendment system to restore trust and harmony in case they are broken
We know that the purpose of these agreements is to help us continually enjoy the precious treasure that our relationship is with out any distracting discord or hurt feelings.

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