Tuesday, December 9, 2008
"Why Men Pull Men Away In a Relationship"
3 Ways Women Accidentally Push Men Away
Have you ever had a man break up with you orpull away all of a sudden? And you had no clue as to what caused it tohappen? Because as far as you could tell, everythingwas going great. You were spending tons of time together. Youhad an amazing "connection". And you KNEW that hisfeelings for you were real.
He might have even said the "L" word to youmore than a few times. LOVE. But for some reason, he just pulled away oneday. And it left you breathless and wonderingwhat had just happened. As the smoke cleared... and you startedthinking back on it, you remembered that hisbehavior HAD changed awhile back. And when it first did, it worried you.Actually, it worried you a lot. But you tried to ignore it.
And when you did say something to him about it,after it had been "eating at you" for a while, itonly seemed to make things between you worse. And he certainly didn't agree with orunderstand where you were coming from or what youwere upset about or afraid of.
So you tried to put it out of your mind andforget about it and hoped that it would just "goaway" on its own. But the more you did this, the more upset andfrustrated you got, because you STILL felt likesomething wasn't quite right underneath thesurface.
Something was going on inside him.Something was making him withdraw from youphysically and emotionally. Something had happened... and he was feelingand acting differently with you as a result. Something was wrong and you just couldn't putyour finger on what it was. And THAT is when things started to go from badto worse, and you started to feel and act OUT OF CONTROL.
The thoughts and feelings you were havingoverwhelmed you with FEAR. FEAR that he might not find you as attractiveas he used to. FEAR that maybe there was someone else he wasinterested in. And ultimately, the FEAR that he was gettingready to leave you... and you would lose him...forever.
So, to try and combat this fear, you started toact in ways that you NEVER would have actedotherwise. Ways that even YOU didn't like aboutyourself, and are probably even a little bitashamed to admit to now. You started to see that even though it wassomething you saw going on with HIM that was atthe root of the problem... YOU were the one whowas reacting in ways that were tearing yourrelationship apart.
YOU couldn't let go of the fear that wasfilling up inside you. And as a result, you shut yourself off from himand from the pain to try and protect yourself. But he wasn't able to pull you up from thisplace of anxiety and frustration by reassuring youand giving you more love and understanding. Andthings eventually got even worse as he pulledfurther away.
In a way, your feelings and actions actuallycaused the final breakup that you had feared tobegin with. Does this situation sound familiar to you?
Have you ever felt so out of control oroverwhelmed with a man that you ended up actuallyhelping along the very situation you feared most? Such as him LEAVING. When a man you're with starts to act"differently" - maybe he seems less interested inyou, or doesn't want to talk as much, or startshanging out with his friends more - it can be veryscary. Immediately you think to yourself "What did Ido to make him upset or angry?" or "How can I 'gethim back' close to me again?" That's only natural and understandable. However, acting out in a negative, emotionally-charged way only sets off a severereaction where you might begin to act or thinkin destructive ways.
Some women even try and "pre-empt" the pain orfear that they feel by pulling away or getting distant FIRST.
Here are 3 of the most common ways women letfear get the better of them and end up making menwant to pull away:
1. Becoming intensely negative, and accusing aman of abandoning them or wanting to leave when heacts "distant". This could be statements like,"You don't love me anymore, do you?""I know you're thinking of breaking up with me.""I can't stand how you're acting lately."
2. Finding ways to hurt or reject the man they'rewith inside the relationship before he can hurtTHEM (this might include belittling, name-calling,"nagging")
3. Acting out in ways that are sure to destroythe relationship... such as cheating. If you've seen other women go through this, oryou've done these yourself, then you already KNOWthat these ways of dealing with problems, fear, orinsecurity only get you farther away from what youwant - love and a more secure relationship.
And sure, there's almost nothing morefrustrating than being dedicated and committed toa relationship, and then seeing that the otherperson isn't as committed as you are. You mightfind yourself SO hurt or afraid because of this,that YOU become the one whose emotions andbehavior push you even farther apart.
It's enough to make you feel hopelesssometimes. Like you'll NEVER have a real and lovingrelationship. Well, the reality is there's something you CANdo that's CERTAIN to get rid of the fears andinsecurities that drive you and a man apart duringthe most critical of times. There's a way to get rid of that hopeless,frustrated, fearful, and reactive place inside youthat keeps you further away from experiencing truelove and a lasting relationship with a man.
And there's a proven way to make a man feel soAMAZING when he's with you that a man will KNOWonce and for all that you are THE ONE WOMAN FOR HIM.
You should need to learn how to bringout the natural and "magical" qualities youALREADY HAVE inside yourself that a man will be"magnetically" drawn to when he sees them in you(such as confidence, high self-esteem, humor,emotional "fitness")...
These are the kinds of things that BUILD attraction and connection in a relationship. I also show you exactly how to move past thefear, insecurity, and the "emptiness" you might befeeling that you think comes from not having theright relationship you want in your life rightnow. The truth is, you can't rely on a man to fillALL your needs for love and happiness. No one but you can start yourself down that path.
And he certainly isn't going to figure out howa relationship SHOULD work, and the best way tomake love last... and guide you through it. I think you know that this is VERY UNLIKELY. A man doesn't have all the power to give youlove, or to take it away from you. He only has the power to SHARE LOVE with you.But you have to know YOUR PART in love BEFORE love can last. YOU have the power to create this for yourself,and guide yourself to the love life you've always wanted. It starts with you.
Don't let what a man doesn't know, what he doesn't get, or your own fears stand in your wayof experiencing true and lasting love. It's time you start seeing past all the thingsthat are happening on the surface in your lovelife... and get to what's going on on a DEEPER LEVEL.
In my "Ready For Love" program I take youthrough exactly what you need to know and whatthis "deeper level" is. You'll learn to takecontrol of your feelings and regain the innerstrength that you may be missing right now. You know that you can't "solve" yourrelationship problems simply by telling a man howhe makes you feel - and then hoping he figures outthe rest of it.
It never works... and you KNOW it. And if you're getting in your OWN way andCAUSING the man in your life to pull away fromyou, then just trying to change the things you'resaying on the surface isn't going to make thingsthat much better, either.
You've tried all this, and it hasn't worked. It's time to get your own personal andemotional FOUNDATION together, so that when theright man is next to you, you'll not only"naturally" do and say things right, but you'll FEEL confident and make great things happen as aresult.
When you don't have this foundation togetherfor yourself, it doesn't matter WHAT you try andsay or do to a man... it doesn't come across theright way. No matter how much you want things towork he'll still be able to "see through you" andsee the insecurity, anxiety, or lack ofconfidence. And he'll walk the other way. I'm sure you've heard only 10% of ourcommunication is direct and verbal.
That's why, when you DO have your ownfoundation in order, and you're in touch with yourown powerful and attractive "essence"... thenwithout having to talk or convince him to staywith you, a man will FEEL this way and know thathe wants this for himself. I want you to watch some free video Clips thatwill show you exactly how to get back to your own"center" and foundation in my "Ready For Love"program here:
And as with all my programs, if you go to thelink below now, I'll ship you a free copy of thisprogram for a full 30 days to let you try it out. Inner changes - and important changes - taketime, so I'd like to give you that gift of time.Time to try out the program.
Time to learn alittle more about yourself. And time to startdown a path in your life that will lead to a muchmore enriching relationship. If you get the results you want from it, goahead and keep it, and I'll bill you in a fewsmall easy payments. If you don't, just send it back to me andyou'll pay nothing. Not a cent. But I'm bettingyou won't, once you start to feel more centeredand in control of your emotions and your lovelife.
Make the decision to move past your fears,"hang-ups", and insecurities today... and buildyour own foundation for true and lasting love bybecoming the woman a man can't help but love andcare for. All the details about "Ready For Love", andexactly what's in it is here:
P.S. Make a commitment to yourself to finally let go of the old bad feelings, the deep-set issues, the pain that's standing in the way of truly being PRESENT in your relationships.Go here now and order a copy of my "Ready ForLove" program and get your emotional life ona healthy and POSITIVE track. I can help you start this process today: