What exactly does a man find attractive… attractive enough to find a woman completely irresistible even deep into a long-term relationship?
And why are men so quick to dismiss a woman over just the smallest things?
I’ve had the privilege of dating some beautiful women and I’ve been in relationships with some pretty amazing women.
I’ve been in “circle” relationships (relationships with two or more bisexual woman) one on one relationships, open, closed and everything in between relationships.
Yeah, I was that guy… that idiot jerk.
I’m not saying this to “brag”, but no matter how beautiful a woman is, no matter how intelligent, no matter how fun, unless she understands how to be completely IRRESISTIBLE to a man, she will continue to have men pull away from her, close down and think about leaving her.
By the way, before I get to the 12 things, if you’re interested in learning the 5 addictive habits that most women get addicted to that ruin a perfectly good relationship, I wrote an awesome FREE report called “Relationship Rehab” that you can get in your inbox right now just by filling in your details right below and you’ll be redirected back to this page immediately:
1. Sense of Humor
There isn’t one guy I know of who doesn’t appreciate a girl who laughs at his stupid jokes simply out of a sensitive humorous bone.
When a woman laughs, it’s like there’s a beam of light that comes across a guy’s face… and if he hears loud laughter, say, from a woman from across the room for another man, it has the power to make him jealous… and want that laughter to be for him.
Humor is “childlike” energy and is like a BILLBOARD mounted to a woman’s forehead that says “Open Heart!” Men feel this on a gut level.
I’m not talking about faking a sense of humor, because you don’t want to throw red flags.
A person who laughs to gain some sort of approval and validation is easy to mark.
A woman who is really sensitive to humor is a great find for a man.
This goes along with #1 because it comes from a playful heart... and when I say youthfulness, I don’t mean age. I mean a state of being and living.
Youth is an energy and you can spot a person who’s had it “ruff from the world” and who’s become DEAD inside… and somebody who is youthful and fresh and has kept their sense of self separate from the negativity of other people’s opinions.
A child playing on the play ground hasn’t been corrupted by the world yet.
All she cares about is PLAYING… in the sand, swinging on the swings and having fun THIS moment.
She is fresh.
I’ve been amazed when I see 18 year old girls who feel 40, and then when I see 40 year old women who feel 18
3. Body Language
Body language is 55% of all communication (vocal tone 38%, language 7%).
Hips loose and tilted a bit forward, weight on the lower back, shoulders and upper back relaxed, chest present, chin up… (there’s more to this having more to do with “energy”, but I won’t get into that right now).
A smile will show a man you’re open to him on a gut level and no smile will show him you’re “untouchable” and a cold ruthless bitch… It just depends on who you want to attract.
Body language is just like a person’s “energetic pulse” to the outside world saying if they feel good about themselves or like a ship wreck.
Whether you love or hate her, Paris Hilton has awesome body language. Check her out.
Insecure men will be repulsed by the emotions of a woman… and the confident man will be attracted.
Remember, this isn’t about faking… like tantrum, emotional outburst etc. etc.
But rather just allowing your “yin nature” to flow through you. I know it sounds weird, but go with me here.
Emotion is spontaneous.
And the unemotional man is attracted to its opposite, it’s POLAR opposite… to the emotional yin feminine by the force of magnetism.
It is RARE to find a woman who is patient.
\I’m serious, men are truly grateful for a woman who is patient because many women are simply ADD. I can’t tell you how annoying this is to most men. It’s the final nail in the coffin a lot of the times.
What I’m talking about is authentic, compassionate patience that comes from being relaxed.
Men ,the yang masculine (my weird way of telling between men and woman) is path or goal oriented… and when a man finally finds a woman who is can relax with his path, it’s “two thumbs up”.
This is the very first step to what I call “Manhandling”.
6. Self-Care And Beauty
Beauty, hair, skin, makeup, weight; the superficial things men adore.
These are the more OUTWARD expressions of yin energy.
A past girlfriend once told me “there is NO such thing as an ugly woman, only a lazy one.”
Now, where I think most women go wrong in this department is putting ALL of their weight on physical beauty.
When that “leg” is weak and maybe they don’t think they look that great today, their entire self image is destroyed.
And when they look particularly great one day, their entire self image is built around it.
This is not good because you become a ROLLERCOASTER.
Here’s what I believe is needed ===> Balance, balance, balance.
Put some weight onto the other leg of the INNER yin energy as well.
Beauty is only the most superficial, outward expression.
When I say the word intelligence, I don’t mean book intellect or street smarts.
I mean the ability to be CREATIVE in the moment.
I’m talking about a woman who is PRESENT and “here now”.
You can look into her eyes and tell that she is with you right now, not zoning off into space or thinking about something in her head. She responds to the moment… and this is an ability that everyone has.
You too are very intelligent. You just need to know how to access it…
8. Not Needing But Wanting
Guys can smell out a needy, clinging girl which usually causes them to run the other direction.
And they can also sense a girl who WANTS rather than needs.
Being needed will stroke a guy’s ego and make him feel good about himself, but there’s a great possibility he’ll eventually freak out and run.
Being wanted, on the other hand, will make him feel even better, but he won’t run… he’ll feel compelled (unless he’s a serious dumb ass).
A girl who has the self-confidence enough to want, to desire, and not be attached to those wants is pure gold.
Then adventure, playfulness and challenge come naturally.
There’s a fine line between being a slave to needing, or being free to want.
A man wants to be independent, but likes to feel that he is taken care of as well.
They say that “every man’s life is a journey to find the happiness he once felt inside the womb of his mommy.”
Nuturance is one of the most basic female instincts… and most guys DO want that little tiny bit of mommy in a girlfriend… but not too much or both you and him will probably get annoyed!
And just like #8, this is nurturance out of want not need… a very fine line indeed.
10. Sexually Adventurous
Sexual repression makes people very, very… VERY angry. Nuf’ said.
A woman filled with love in her heart is one of the most beautiful things.
She is fearless and hatred falls away.
A woman who sees the world through loving eyes has no enemies… even if people dislike her.
Love is not weak, it is POWER.
Love comes out of relaxation and when that restless need for approval falls away.
You just need to know HOW to control love so that you don’t lose yourself to it completely.
A woman who has real values and sticks up for herself is like a beacon of light.
Many of the gals I have consulted with are pushed and pulled by the wind at every moment.
They have very little security in life and they worry continuously. Is this you?
If you know how to control this insecurity, it can actually be a GOOD thing (weird I know).
But usually she has no stability to her at all and she lives life in what I call the “Soap Opera Matrix”.
Integrity is what creates some sanity. It’s one of the few things you come into the world with, and its one of the easiest things to take for granted and sell for sparkly looking toys.
Security is good, But if you build too many walls around yourself and try to become “all powerful” you lose your delicacy, your female beauty. I’ve seen this happen to quite a few women.
It’s a delicate balance.
Here’s a simple list I suggest you start with (and I follow myself):
a. Your health. Your mind, body and soul come first. Without you there is nothing else so you must be kept in good shape and happy.
b. Love. Love is one of the highest values. Love comes BEFORE pleasure although most people always reverse them. Ever ask yourself “Is it love or lust?” They can’t tell because pleasure has always come first.You must know how to bring LOVE to the front.
c. Freedom. Never be a slave to anybody, even if you feel like you want to. You are a free being, and most men want this in a woman.
d. Pleasure. Celebration comes naturally after all of these things are taken care of. Most people try to put pleasure as their number one. They will abuse their bodies to have it, weaken their integrity to have it and sell their soul to have it. Most people are not in pursuit of happiness, they are in pursuit of PLEASURE… but that pleasure is always accompanied by pain. There’s an endless rollercoaster of pleasure/pain when it becomes number one. However, pleasure comes naturally when it comes after some other more important things… like having the “know how” to sustain a long LASTING relationship (if you have my book than you know exactly what I’m talking about).
Don’t expect this stuff to come over night.