Monday, December 15, 2008



They dated for ten months before it ended. She was an upper class, stunningly beautiful woman with a master's degree and high ambition. He was a nice-looking middle-class man with a high school degree and no aspirations beyond the local fitness club. Aside from their economical differences, they got along great. The sex was incredible, they had the same interests, and they always had fun together. So what went wrong?

Women have come a long way in the past few decades. We are educated, have respectable jobs, even buy our own houses. We marry later, date longer, and spend years searching for the right man. In the interim, we meet a lot of men who just "aren't quite right," for reasons we can't describe. We tell ourselves we can make it work. And we try and try, but eventually, inevitably, we fail.

Men are by their very nature hunters and gatherers. They have an inborn need to provide for a family. Yes, society has changed, but does that change that instinct they were born with? I say it just leaves them feeling confused and a little...lost.

It sounds snobby to say it, but if a woman of a certain social standing meets a man who is, by society's definition, lower than her on the class totem pole, the relationship is likely doomed from the beginning. Not that it's not possible to make a relationship work...I just personally have not seen too many that do. I see a lot of couples try and it always seems that things get fouled up somewhere along the way.

A man likes to feel like a man. Dating or being married to a woman who has her life together more than he does emasculates him somewhat. It may not even be on a conscious level. Sure...there are plenty of men who say they'd love to end up with a woman who can pay their way in life. They could be stay-at-home dads or maybe just not work at all. And maybe that's fine with the woman but I suspect somewhere, deep down, something is eating away at that man.

I've personally witnessed it. Men with more successful women, women who seem to have it all together. The relationship doesn't work out and, next thing you know, he's dating a cocktail waitress or his cleaning lady. A woman who makes less money than he does. A woman who looks up to him, who thinks of him as a strong, successful man who can provide for her, whether she wants to marry or not. You see, this is all on a subconscious level.

Then there are the men who marry above their class and end up having affairs with women whom they feel are lesser than them. What the marriage has depleted in him, the affair gives back. A woman looks up to him, makes him feel like a man again. Yes, he has to go outside of his marriage to get it but he craves it. He needs to feel needed.

But the real problem is that more and more women are becoming major go-getters. I see women with master's degrees and Ph.Ds. Women who run their own businesses and invest in real estate. Women who have it all together. The only thing missing is a man to share it with.

Are there enough eligible men in this world to live up to all that? How many men with Ph.Ds marry the pretty girl at the gym, with not much going for her but looks? What happens to all the women who are strong, capable, and highly educated?

Are some women just too smart to date?

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