People wanting to get married would be smart to seriously consider the following questions: What do you seek through marriage? A ceremony to declare your love and a chance to get together with family and loved ones? Romantic partnership permanence? Do you hope it will add something to your connection that you feel is absent at this time?
Marriage was originally intended for practical and economic reasons. People could not survive unless they pooled their skills and resources. Due in part by romantic fantasy perpetrated by movies and fairy tales, marriage today includes unrealistic expectations such as being someone’s “everything” for life. Surprisingly, even with the high divorce rates, this tradition is still a popular choice.
Some say it’s because you need marriage for kids, or that marriage is about commitment. But you can be responsible parents or commit to each other without a marriage license.
Those who oppose marriage contend that legally binding agreements, in an attempt to cement relationships, primarily reflect fear and a lack of trust and are more about money than love.
There is no level of compatibility “good enough” for marriage, because two individuals who are very compatible now may not be in ten years. Furthermore, marriage is just a legal construct that has nothing to do with unconditional love, which is what many claim to marry for. By unconditional love, we’re referring to a lack of conditions such as “If you do this for me, I’ll do that for you.”
Ideally, marriage would be completely about unconditional love. It wouldn’t be like modern marriage is today.
There would be no unhappiness about a partner not doing what they are expected to do financially, there would be no disputes about having to spend time with the partner’s friends and family, and there would be a lack of expectations in the bedroom, just to name a few.
As we have constantly found in our work, most relationships have time limits, as do friendships and business associations. Sound unromantic? Truth isn’t always romantic, but embracing it will save you a lot of heartache. You don’t have to physically leave a relationship for it to be over, as many married couples will tell you if they are brutally honest. Additionally, children know when their parents are unhappy and all too often the parents end up setting a bad example relating to complacency and deceit.
How can you tell if a romantic connection has seen better days? A few examples include the following: all attempts at spicing up the bond fall flat; one or both partners become increasingly interested dating other people; sex becomes routine and boring or nonexistent; the sexual attraction fades significantly or disappears; one or both feel as if they have learned as much as they were supposed to learn; and it simply doesn’t feel right to stay together.
Life-long, satisfying monogamy is desired by many, but is it natural or realistic? Some couples completely lose interest in sex with each other and settle for companionship or are willing to make great sacrifices and be unhappy in order to avoid ending their relationship, but more and more couples are accepting that most relationships are not meant to last forever.
In our view, love relationships serve primarily as grounds for shared spiritual lessons and goals, rather than the currently accepted, outdated, fear-based sociological standard as outlined above.
Many norms in society will be seen as absurd by future generations, and we expect that traditional marriage will be one of them.
An aside, for those who desire to deepen their understanding of their partner (especially before getting married), compatibility analyses involving psychic insight, comprehensive astrology, numerology, and graphology outlining key challenges and rewards is a great way to open the door to more love.
We recommend to those considering marriage to communicate with their partner about commitment, and discuss feelings about money, children, relatives, friends, etc. But don’t expect or even hope that the love would be permanent if you got married, since no couple is compatible enough to meet and exceed the present day expectations of marriage.
People commonly think about falling in love and in one way or another, falling out from it suddenly. Well, there is a certain feeling wherein we can feel a sudden adrenaline rush whenever we see, or we stay with that someone in the same room, or if by chance, we talk with that someone one on one or with a group. Some may falsely think that it is already LOVE. We tend to have crushes or admire someone for some certain personalities or features, most often the physical "thing". Then when we get to know the person more, we would get discouraged by some of their attitudes and eventually decides that we don't like them anymore. Can you imagine the span of time? Very short.
Real love is never like that. It is so different from the kind of love most of us have known all our lives that it deserves both a name-Real Love-and a definition of its own. Real Love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. It's also Real Love when other people care about our happiness unconditionally. It is not Real Love when other people like us for doing what they want. We can be certain that we're receiving Real Love only when we make foolish mistakes, when we fail to do what other people want, and even when we get in their way, but they don't feel disappointed or irritated at us. That is Real Love (true unconditional love), and that love alone has the power to heal all wounds, bind people together, and create relationships quite beyond our present capacity to imagine.
It is love when we accept everything about the person-including the bad side. Attitude will never matter anymore because hopes that the person will still change are high. All his friends, even if we don't have the same ideals or interests with them, will also become our friends. Everything the person loves, we will learn to love also. We will really adapt to everything-environment, his likes and dislikes and etc.. And even if time would pass by, our love for the person never fades.
But, there are still some exemptions about love. There are several things that love really isn't.
* Love is not an emotion. Although real love is often accompanied by strong feelings, love does not equate with the sense of floating on clouds. Unlike the type of love that movies, television, and songs portray, people in love don't always feel ooey gooey around each other. A relationship wouldn't last long on emotions. In fact, knowledge is the basis of a healthy relationship.
* Love isn't sex. That statement alone goes against a lot of what the entertainment industry feeds us. Whenever two people hook up in pop culture, they have sex. Without showing some of the unpleasant realities of premarital and extramarital sex, it is drawn up to be a wonderful, fun recreational activity.
Sex is created for marriage--a long-lasting commitment between a couple. Outside of marriage, sex can have harsh consequences. Pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, guilt, insecurity, and shame can follow. A relationship based on lust can only last as long as the two are physically close and find each other sexually attractive.
* Love is not a choice. It's a commitment. Although feelings will accompany love, and although sex will be a part of marriage, a lasting, healthy relationship cannot be based on these things. One person involved in a relationship should be aware that upon entering such, he/she should be committed to our partners. Meaning, faithfulness should be one big issue.
Real love knocks our hearts at the right time. We will know it if the time spent of our relationship does not lessen our feelings for our partners. We can still see our world in his/her eyes and his/her world on ours. And instead of falling out of love for the person, we will love them more as time goes by.
Once there was a love story about a prince and a princess, a story about a pair of gold rings, a story about true love.Let's just not discuss whether the story was true or not, because it was not the importance, but the true love between them. In an old Kingdom, the emperor got an attractive daughter. Many noblemen came for her beauty. But nobody could be the perfect lover in her eyes except one. He was handsome and gentleman. His behaviors all showed his personal cultivation. Soon, they got married and lived a happy life. But they did not know that their marriage was imprecated, by some nobleman, among those men who failed.
3 years later, the imprecation really happened. The princess fell ill. It was strange illness and all the medicine did no work. The princess only got 2 months left. The emperor and the prince were very worried about her. At this time, someone old they could go to get the witch doctor, living in a mountain. The witch had a rarity-a pair of gold rings, a pair of magical rings. Saying was one thing, while doing is another. The doctor was an old woman and she got a strange temper. No man could have been successful to visit her and came back. But without hesitation, the prince decided to leave for the mountain next day.
After 55days, the prince backed to his country. People cheered for him. But they did not notice something strange. The prince lost his eyes. Their path to the mountain bristled with difficulties. Many soldiers died. Finally, he saw the witch, but she needed his eyes to change for the gold rings. That meant if he promised, then he would live in a world without light in his rest of life. But he just held one belief in his mind, which was to save his wife. So he accepted the change. And now he got the gold rings back, but he lost his eyes. Without delay, the prince put one gold ring on his wife's third hand. Really, miracle happened. The prince wake up and got over. Her eyes were looking for her husband. When she saw his face, she felt strange. The prince told her everything. Princess cried in sorrow, but she was deeply moved. She said" no matter what is going on; I will still always be your side. I love you." And she put the other ring on his husband's hand. Maybe it was their sincerity that made the God touched. At that moment, the prince' eyes came back. All of them cheered, for their love. Those were a pair of Wedding Ring, 14K Gold Round Domed. They were the symbol of nobleness of royal family; they were the blessing of happy marriage. They were the challenge of true love. Lovers, who won the challenge, would win the blessing from God. From then on, the prince and the princess live a happy life.